THIS IS BY NO MEANS GOOD
I'm just one of those people that...
*cringe*
write songs to vent about things. I usually forget about them which is kinda sad honestly. But looking at them piled up, I realised "oh damn i have a tumblr and nobody cares if you're cringe on tumblr!" so i decided to post them here if not just to keep them safe somewhere.
Like it or not, I'm kinda proud that I made something.
Sometimes that itself is enough to make me feel better about things.
I've always had trouble with either executive dysfunction or just not being able to balance time. But because work is a duty I couldn't just take my mind off it, even when I did nothing for days on end. I wouldn't do basic chores because I needed to do this first. But I never moved. And then the deadlines would come and I'd panic and break down again. And then I'd work all at once, not eating nor resting until I could finally catch up. I never did. Even when my work was finished it never felt like the race truly was. Even now, years later, I feel the same. It's maddening like you're not truly growing up, if such a thing is even real. Because you keep having the same problems over and over.
Anyways, here's a song about working.
Lyrics:
I hunger no longer cuz the longer I hunger
The more I forget I exist
Something always feels so amiss
Let's not think about this, there's no time
The longer I try to focus, the more my brain just tries to escape
Why am I stuck in this place?
Wish I could send myself into space.
Building my castle of trash with the moths as my witness
Can't think of future or past
Cuz that shit's too serious
I do not know the time or date but I know my deadline's soon
I cannot afford to eat
till I finish this one bit
I may stay awake till I hallucinate
But isn't this just the creative process?
All my friends can do it so I guess
that makes me just that ✨useless✨
I may faint and dissociate
But at least I gotta stay awake
I am working right now
I am working somehow
And it's working working working
Next morning I wake up and it leaves me stunned
My work looks like shit and needs to be redone
That was not in the plan. Fuck!
"What do I care? Let me just sleep!"
...
Sleeping feels so tiring
So is being alive, weeping in the shower
I promised this would be the last time
but I can never keep it.
My nose bleeds and head aches.
I'm aware of all my mistakes.
Procrastination raised the stakes
which is why I keep working working working
I may complain
"Hustle the pain away"
"There's bigger fish in the sea"
That's what I aim to be
But I'm drowning drowning drowning
--------space for a lil mental breakdown------------
Why feed a machine that doesn't work?
So I work to eat, but I can't think anymore
I work till my eyes give up seeing
I work so I forget my own being
Everybody seems like a fucking prodigy
while I'm wasting my time being good ol' mediocre me
If I can't keep up, I'll be left in their dust
----- more mentally ill activity---------
Work is done...
Yay! 🎉
I can take the day off today. ☺️
✨And proceed to do nothing for the next 5 months!👀✨
...
I can't do anything but think I should be working.
"Why have fun, when I should be working?"
"You're gonna die so don't ask why and start working!"
Leave my mark in the market of labour
My only worth is the work you savour
I hope it's worth it so I better get working.
....
Why ain't I working? working working
I have to keep working working working
I can't move but I need to keep working working working
I'll die if I'm not working working working
paralysed from my work, but I need to get working
I'm too tired to work yet I can't forget
that I should be working.
Guess what I should be doing right now 😃✨
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sorry guys super delusional sketches with lil carlo n mob bosses (salieri included) based on m2 chat talks
tr:
1) moretti: *talks bout smth*
salieri: yeah huh ok
2) salieri: i didn't know you had a son
moretti: what? i don't have a--
3) moretti: ..son
carlo: i think my arm's broken
random moretti soldier: it was an accident, boss!
tr:
salieri, hands carlo the money: here. but don't tell tomaso
1) carlo: tony* pulled out my tooth with pliers!
2) carlo: here!
3) moretti: gentlemen, give me a minute
___
*tony balsamo
(takes place after carlo became a don)
salieri: he grew up all like me!
(^ ok this line is simple af but idk how to translate that correctly😭hope u get it😭😭)
tr:
don falcone for sale
salieri: hello, why are you selling?
leo: we're fucking tired of him
__
and the last but not the least:
tr: legendary boca and his grandson popular singer joca
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