#just like... idk my new work friend just followed my insta and I’ve realised I just can’t be ... how I am on it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smileysuh · 3 years

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hi mum, so lately i’ve been taking time to reflect my life and I realised like, how much my life revolves around kpop. like, I just got into kpop around a year ago and it makes me so happy and so drained at the same time idk how to explain it but basically, all I’ve been thinking about these past few days is how different my life would be if I wasn’t into kpop. Tonight, out of nowhere I decided to unsub all kpop channels on yt, I deleted vlive and also set a time limit on insta since I find myself scrolling on there a lot, just looking at kpop content for hours at a time. Am I being dramatic? Idk, I just feel so tired, I’m disappointed at myself for not being able to like, hold back this obsession ya know? Cause I’m starting uni soon and every day I keep thinking why am I wasting my time watching kpop when I could be studying and preparing for uni?? What’s wrong with me lol?? Anyways, just needed to rant, feel free to not reply to this, I’m crying as I’m typing this I just feel kinda lost right now but I rlly hope ur doing good mumm💚💚

Hello baby! Ok, so first, I understand you completely

I’m also the type of have hyper fixations and then that’s my only source of serotonin

Kpop is such a pure, good, consistent source of happiness, and in the world we’re in right now, I don’t think it’s a shock at all that we’ve both glommed onto kpop- I think a lot of people might be going through exactly what you’re going through

Don’t beat yourself up about it my love, we’re allowed to have things we enjoy-

I feel like we live in a society that A; makes people feel bad for doing things for themselves cuz capitalism and the need to constantly be producing and doing things and social media and just oooof, and B: we have a society that looks down on the things “girls” do for fun- like when have our enjoyments of one direction or loki or anything been seen as a positive? Our society is SO restrictive on what women feel were allowed to enjoy-

But look, if kpop makes you happy then it makes you happy!

Limitations can be good, spending too much time on ur screen is NEVER a good thing cuz we can get so caught up in it- as people say “go outside and touch concrete” 😂😂😂😂 but don’t feel ashamed that kpop is your happy place

Maybe do it where like, at the end of ur day, u can have an hour of kpop YouTube crack, or read a fanfic, or something like that, limits are good but don’t cut off ur serotonin source completely you know?

Ur not being dramatic my love :) it’s really hard to live in the world we live in and have lots of our interests be belittled by everyone around us- like why is it SO MUCH BETTER if you spent all this time researching cars or something you know? Like why is it our likes are lesser cuz we fall in love with people and the psychology and the fun we have watching them?

To me, kpop is kind of like our version of reality tv, and u know how many people feel justified as shit knowing everything about Kylie and Kendal and what scandal Kim got into this week and who’s dating who and-

No hate to people who like the kardashians cuz Oof I went through a reality tv phase too

But I hope you get what I’m saying and I’m not being too rambly kdhejsijssb

So I don’t allow direct messages from people I don’t follow, but if you ever need anything, message me off anon, I’ll follow back immediately and then we can chat in dms :) sometimes it’s just about finding a friend to love this stuff with and that can make it feel oddly more justified?

I just- you’re not being dramatic, things are rough, thank you for reaching out honey, I’m here if you ever need it ❤️

Also if it’s any consolation, I was having these same issues last year, and I ended up making every creative writing project I had to do about a kpop boy and it helped me get through my courses cuz suddenly I wasn’t just completing an assignment about a dude in a grocery store, it was MARK TUAN or like- I straight up submitted demon San and got a 90 on it- idhejsnsjsisubss kpop can be helpful 😂

Or for example, in my poetry class, I was looking at the way Korean sentences are formed and the way they do those fun games where they take a word and split it into syllables to make new sentences and I tried that in my poetry and it was really cool!

The things you learn watching kpop- even just all the things I’ve learned about Korea and the culture- there are SO MANY POSITIVES to enjoying kpop and I don’t want u to feel like ur wasting ur time cuz if nothing else ur probably soaking up some of the language too! And who knows! Maybe u can find some uni friend who like kpop, or maybe there’s a kpop club! Don’t feel alone baby, I’m sure there are lots of other people entering uni with u going through a similar “ooof kpop” moment ;)

U could also always bribe urself with kpop- I would do like: complete this essay outline and then u get to watch the new weekly idol, or things like that?

But yes please message me off anon and I’ll be here to help more if none of these work for you :) I love you, youll get through this ❤️❤️❤️and remember: u are allowed to have things in your life that you love that make you happy that don’t actually add things to ur day to day, ur allowed to just be happy with that thing

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dwtspd · 6 years

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DWTS S27 Week ONE!!! Nights 1+2 review

Man, when I saw Tom I suddenly felt like it had been AGES since I watched this show, then I realised, I didn’t even watch the athlete season. My friends told me it’s not worth it so I will probably never watch it.

Idk how the two-night thing is gonna work out so this is a combined post.

Night 1

Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber - Cha cha okay, was that video package kinda short? Also maybe it’s cos I’m not American but I’m soooo over all the “yay USA” themed dances. Anyhows, Mary Lou is a former US gymnast who won gold in 1984, the first US woman to do so. No mention of her current embroilment in the USAgym-gate. Okay, she can definitely remember steps. She needs to work on timing and also getting those latin shapes. 6-7-6 T19 huh that’s kinda harsh?? Might have been 1-2 pts higher if she went later I think.

Milo Manheim and Witney Carson - Cha cha Sorry Milo, but Zombies aiiiin’t that great. In case anyone doesn’t know, Zombies is a cheesy af DCOM musical. I really like his energy though. “Tell me about yourself.” “I’m still in school.” I love that. It’s quite refreshing cos we don’t get young male contestants as often as the girls. Whoa, he has those hips! I don’t think his limbs were as messy as the judges made it sound. His legs looked a little awkward during the cha-cha walks. That aside, this dance was so fun to watch! 7-6-7 T20 “That’s good, that’s good!” Witney tells him. Again, I think he could get a tad higher scores if he went later.

Evanna Lynch and Keo Motsepe - Foxtrot OMG Keo’s reaction was priceless. Evanna probably needs no introduction, but anyway, Luna Lovegood. She wanted to go to dance college, but was rejected so DWTS was the next best thing. I think the song did them in, but I found some of her movements too sharp for a foxtrot. She has nice frame and did something weird with her hand once. Definitely has potential. 7-5-6 T18 oooooh Len that was harsh. Tom, the correct term is he who shall not be named.

Speaking of, I like the new green glitter score background.

Danelle Umstead and Artem Chigvintsev - Foxtrot Danelle is a blind alpine skier but gosh she has good footwork and lots of grace. Her shoulders came up a bit and I think she had to adjust her footing going into the spin. When I saw the opening, I was like “Artem is making her walk down the steps to him??!!” At least they went down together. I think her and Artem will be a very nice, friendly, genuine partnership. 6-6-6 T18

Side note: I really didn’t need to hear “Rise Up” again.

Bobby Bones and Sharna Burgess - Jive Bobby is...a lot of things. I’ll say entertainer. His main schtick right now is his country radio show. Guy has boundless energy, I’ll give him that. Jive suits him. He had to point his feet, and the footwork was real rough. If he was judged for enthusiasm though, he’d get a perfect score. 7-6-7 T20 yeah that’s too high. I think the judges got a little high off his energy. I think he should be sitting at a 16-17.

Juan Pablo Di Pace and Cheryl Burke - Salsa Juan Pablo is an actor most recently from Fuller House and Mamma Mia. Uh huh, here’s the sexy hot couple of the season right here. It took really long to get into actual salsa though. Some of the moves looked unpolished and uncertain, but he had a sense of timing and can move. his. hips. 7-7-8 T22 haha we all knew Bruno would like it.

Ayyyy hey Rashad! Apparently he’s going into hosting, showing us the DWTS BTS web series. Go support that guy, he’s an all-round all-star.

Nikki Glaser and Gleb Savchenko - Salsa Nikki is a comedian and entertainer. She told Gleb he looks like he should be emerging from a pool, which I’m pretty sure he has done before for some modelling thing. Apparently she got injured over the weekend. Could have affected the performance. She seemed fine in rehearsal but looked really ginger and reserved while dancing. Her limbs looked awkward. Arms were kept really close to her body and her legs...I don’t know any other way to describe it except “baby giraffe”. 6-5-6 T17

Alexis Ren and Alan Bersten - Jive Alexis is an instagram influencer and model. She’s doing the show for her late mother who enjoyed it. Okay I’ll say it here, she is the one to beat technique-wise. My only complain is she could be more bouncy. Everything else was spot on IMO. I think her possible downfall would be her sketchy voting base. Lots of insta followers doesn’t necessarily mean they will vote. We’ve seen that with past social media stars. 7-7-7 T21 I think she should be equal with Juan Pablo honestly.

John Schneider and Emma Slater I’ve never heard of his Dukes of Hazard show but his name sounds familiar. He’s done so many things, I’ve probably seen him somewhere. Well he certainly has the right attitude. His dancing was...here and there. Some times I was like ‘oh, that’s not bad’ and then i’d be like ‘okay that needs improvement’. I think he’s good enough and charming enough to appeal to the DWTS demo though. 7-5-6 T18

Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong - Jive Tinashe is a singer...who I’ve never heard of. But I live under a rock. Brandon is newly promoted and awwww he’s so adorable. He gave her lots of content which she handled fairly well. She was very clean but I feel like it was toooo clean. Like you know how if you strip water of too many minerals it’ll just burn your tongue. I feel like sometimes I was watching a stick figure dance. Could have used more bounce. CAI’s comment didn’t make sense. 8-7-8 T23

Nancy McKeon and Val Chmerkovskiy - Quickstep Nancy was an actor from a show called The Facts of Life which probably pre-dates me. She has the facial expressions!!! Quickstep on week 1 is no joke but she kept up for most of it. Yup she was wobbly at times, because she was lacking the contact in hold with Val, but that seems to be a Thing TM with all his partners so it’s more Val’s fault. For a while I was like “omg is Val choreographing a solid routine with moves in hold??” and then they broke hold. I’m surprised Len didn’t call that out. Nancy was reall animated in that section though. 6-6-6 T18

Joe Amabile/”Grocery Store Joe” and Jenna Johnson - Quickstep Joe is from the Bachelor franchise and got his nickname because he owns a grocery store. He wants to become Dancing Joe now. He’s kinda cute, sorta charming in a slightly-awkward-little-self-depreciative way. Very likeable guy. I think with his personality and the bachelor backing, he’ll stick around for a while. Yeah that definitely wasn’t the best dance. He was flat footed, made mistakes, getting QS definitely didn’t help either. Can see he is trying to stay positive. 5-4-5 T14

Demarcus Ware and Lindsey Arnold Soon to be NFL hall of fame inductee. Has won the Super Bowl. You know, I hate American football as a sport, but these NFL guys always come in and work hard and it pays off. Demarcus can move and seems to have hella groove, with personality to boot. He’ll have to clean up some lines, but I can see him growing a lot on this show. Such a delight! 8-7-8 T23

Night 2

Ohhhhhh I love that opening number!! I can see why it’s not a premiere opener but wowwwww.

Okay so apparently the bottom half after judges score and votes from night 1 will have to dance again. Everyone else would have rehearsed a second dance for nothing...I guess. I feel like maybe they should have let everyone dance their second dance, but only score those in jeopardy.

Rashad out there with a message for Demarcus. I was kinda waiting for that the first night.

Safe - Demarcus, Tinashe, and...JOE!!!!!! That was the chillest reaction to a (not so) surprise safe.

Jeopardy - Nancy

DWTS Jr pros dance and make me feel old. Jake Monreal!!! And okay, JT Church has some ballroom moves. There’s one brunette guy (not Sage) who has nice hair. And the blond boy looks a little familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.

Safe - Juan Pablo, Bobby

Jeopardy - Nikki, John, Alexis

Alexis and Bobby’s placements are telling about the voters.

Okay. I watched the two episodes back to back. People I forgot about by the time I started night 2: Mary Lou, John, Danelle, Nancy. Also I knew Tinashe, Evanna and Juan Pablo were there but I kinda forgot how their dances looked.

Lmao Milo and Tom. “Why are you so scared about what I’m gonna ask you?”

Amy Purdy with a message for Danelle. She looks so different than I remember.

Safe - Milo, Evanna

Jeopardy - Danelle, Mary Lou

Okay so summary Top 7: Demarcus, Milo, Juan Pablo, Bobby, Evanna, Tinashe, Joe Bottom 6: Alexis, Danelle, John, Nikki, Nancy, Mary Lou

So they are bringing back the Judge’s choice encore from when they had result shows. This week: Demarcus.

They introduced the Junior stars. I’m having a hard time remembering who is who but: - JT’s “OH MY GOSH” when his pro-skateboarding partner did a trick - Mackenzie Ziegler is not a “pop star” she’s as good as a pro dancer. WHO’S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE HER A CONTESTANT???!?!?

Can they intro the Jr pros too? All the cast of Juniors including the adult pros do a dance number and all I get from it is that red latin shoes are not in style.

Okay so we don’t have time for 6 dances or something so John is safe and won’t have to dance for his life any more.

Couples will dance the same style as night 1, but the choreo and song will be different.

Mary Lou and Sasha - cha cha okay I dunno what their rehearsal strategy was, but this dance felt very basic and less rehearsed than their first. She was more precise and controlled, but seemed to have less energy in it. 7-7-7 T21

Danelle and Artem - foxtrot the rehearsal vids seem to imply the couples were only given Monday night to come up with their second numbers. If so it must have disadvantaged Danelle. She was more timid and reserved. 6-6-6 T18

Nikki and Gleb - salsa She looked more confident this time. Legs less giraffe-y. Her arms were still awkward. 6-6-6 T18

Alexis and Alan - jive Ooooohhh this was good. Her technique was good again, but I think the mood of this dance suited her far better. I think she had a lot more energy and personality in this performance. 7-8-8 T23 Len says it is the best dance of the night and I agree as does Bruno.

Nancy and Val - quickstep Oh dang, the shorter dress exposed Nancy’s shortcomings. Her lines were wonky and she still looked a little unstable sometimes in hold, which was easier to see in this costume. It also made her look like Tweety Bird tumbled dry, They stayed in hold this time though. 7-7-7 T21 that seems generous.

Okay so Mackenzie Ziegler sings. She has a decent voice. Gotta set herself apart from her sister I guess.

Online voting for night 2 was open for...10 minutes? And I wager only US east coasters could vote.

Results time! (finally.)

Safe - Danelle, Alexis (yay!), Mary Lou

Nikki vs Nancy...Eliminated: Nikki. no surprise.

My favourites are Milo and Alexis. Also rooting for Danelle on a slightly lower tier. Surprisingly, Evanna isn’t really on the forefront of my mind.

Also, whether or not the couple danced on the second night might affect their memorability. Like, Bobby make an impact night 1, but after night 2 I kinda forgot about him. The only person who didn’t perform night 2 who I remember is Milo. Everyone else I was like “oh wait, who’s here again?”

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saltybeef-blog1 · 7 years

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Okay

- Hi. Firstly, I hope you’ve been doing well. Have no idea what’s going with your life but I just hope you’ve been your strong self. It’s awkward huh? From us being just people in the same group in sch, to being close buddies and to what we thought was a relationship period. I agree those times I went out with you, I’d call it a date but didn’t make it exclusive cos we were both not really on the same page. It’s funny but yet enjoyable. I’ve seen the better side of you way more when I started to get to know you better. You’re pretty much an outspoken and confident girl. Knows how to do things on your own, get things done, be the motherly natured Friend you are and yeah those are really good traits you have. I was attracted by those traits of yours. Yeah the way I see things in people isn’t merely by looks or any physical aspects. I observe way more than what’s on the cover. As you can see this text doesn’t seem to convey the right direction to what I want to bring up. But let’s give that a good intro.

I’ve realised we’re distancing. I thought I had a friend (you) even with all the different paths we’re taking at the moment. Don’t mind me bringing this up, but I just realised you’ve changed insta accounts and yeah I can’t seem to follow up with what you’re doing. I’m trying to understand why. Because entirely, you said you’d support me through my actions. But I’m a little disappointed that it’s us distancing seems like a support from you. I know there aren’t much to talk about rn cos you’d feel I got someone else. I’m happy as of now, the calm feeling I’ve actually missed, less drama tbh. But there are times when I think things through and will be like where did this girl go. Where did my Friend go. Why hasn’t she been popping up to ask me hey how are you. Legit asked myself those qns. We were so close before. What happened. And I know it will fall back to the same point, I’ve got someone else. Sometimes I wish this statement itself never will affect a friendship. But it did.

As we’re in this blessed month and I honestly am looking through my faults and mistakes I’ve made to people, I wanna apologise to you for everything from annoying you, pissing you off, belittling you and not being a good guy to you. And if you’re mad at me rn which I honestly don’t want you to be feeling cos idk why, I’m sorry for that too. I think it’s important that I at least let this out cos I feel sth is amiss. It doesn’t feel normal. We can don’t be talking but things be fine but in this case, I’m just like unsure. Something is prolly up. But that’s definitely kept by you and Him. You’ve been a great friend. Supportive, caring, a listener. I’m thankful. I just don’t know if I showed much of an appreciation to that.

Reading this long text sounds like a no need to reply cos there’s nothing left as of now right? Just hope you’re doing fine and yeah do drop me a reply and tell me you’re feeling your Beyoncé self. Thank you. -

- Hi firstly I would like to thank you for that text and checking up on me I really appreciate it I’m sorry for the distance between us but could you allow me to be a little selfish to support the distance because in this distance do I seek comfort for myself if I do remain close to you rn, I wouldn’t be able to be genuinely happy for you and that’s not something I would want and as Long as you’re happy and doing great with everything then there’s no need for me there I suppose? Recently I’ve been disappointed and I’m in no position to accept or give anything to anyone especially in a friendship so I would like to apologise if I’ve not been actively asking after you at this moment and like you said in this blessed month, im working on myself too and renewing my faith in humans so maybe just right now I’ll not be able to be a good presence in your life

Thank you for your kind words and thank you for seeing the good in me and regarding the ig I had hair in my old one so I needed to cleanse my followers asap hence the new one and I was scared to follow you on the new one because I’m not ready to see updates on your part yet haha but send me a following request I’ll accept it and I’m glad you’re doing okay honestly thank you for that InsyaAllah this friendship will resume some time in the near future - - - Is it not selfish of you to still expect me to be your Friend despite everything? Is it not selfish of you to still expect me to drop by and ask about you? Is it not selfish of you to expect me to be okay? You found your happiness with her, so is it not selfish of you to seek happiness with me too?

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