#just said yes and immediately told her i couldnt wirk but i didnt. so i ended up not getting to go to therapy even tho i desperately fucking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

house-in-the-backyard-trees · 1 year

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babe. you should talk to your friend about it. it won’t be easy but honestly it sounds like she should have talked to you about changing her mind, not blindsided you like that. i’m sorry you’re going through a tough time, you ARE enough, sometimes it just takes time to find your people. coming from someone who just ended a friendship due to not communicating, you should talk to her. you don’t have to make it a big deal, just calmly say “it hurt when you didn’t formally ask me to be a bridesmaid after we had already talked about it.” and make sure she knows you respect her decision but you have every right to also be hurt. just because it’s her wedding day, doesn’t mean she should do that to you. the outcome might not change but i’d bet it would be good to talk about it and air it all out. sending you love 💜💜💜

Like I just distinctly remember her giving me my Christmas present the year she was giving everyone gifts to ask if they'd be in the wedding and I just got some candles. And I was just genuinely so confused. And ever since then I get excited any time she asks me to do her a favor cause my delusional little self thinks she's gonna ask me to be in the wedding cause someone else can't. And just... the friend thats officiating, they don't even like half the time. She literally threw a bottle of water at her boyfriend and it mostly got on my friend's fiance and he got pissed. And I'm like why is she in the wedding still but not me? And I just wanna text her all my feelings cause I'm better at articulating them that way but then she'll get pissed at me for not coming to her in person and having a conversation "like adults" cause that has happened before. I also just think it's why I've been having so much anxiety and depression lately like not even wanting to get out of bed.

#and Monday she asked if id work her Tuesday for her cause she had to get a thing for her dress and i said yes at first bc i am a people #pleaser. but then i looked at my sched and saw id close then open and asked jf shed wirk my open and id work her close the next day. never #fot a response. so i panicked about it. my therapist called. asked if i wanted to come in early. the day she wanted me to work. i shouldve #just said yes and immediately told her i couldnt wirk but i didnt. so i ended up not getting to go to therapy even tho i desperately fucking #need it and i told her i couldnt work her shift. immediately got a response for that one. go fucking figure. but a part of me did that bc it #was like oh? you want me to work your shift? sure! actually never mind! like oh? you want to be a bridesmaid? sure! actually never mind!#like to spite her #and it made me feel gross. but also not.#and i am over sharing in the tags again but when dont I #i just need new friends j think sometimes #but then my mom would throw it in my face that she told me so #so i feel like i have to keep them just for that #so its like what the fuck #this isnt very coming of age of me

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