#just so lockdowns etc wouldnt happen again

[bawkrya]

Uuuh something something flag (i want to hear about cdramas)

ok HI well you caught me at the most devastating time where im fixated on the worst of the three cdramas i rotate in my brain (or ginal sin again) LOL, im going to force yall to sit down and perceive my hyperspecific version of chi zhen (my girlfriend) in my brain

SO! if you have the patience take my essay length "summary" of OS/and how i perceive it to have more context for who chi zhen is and what he does

my transgender king. and NOT in the way u wld expect. chi zhen is like. Removed from a lot of things, but i think she esp wld be for LGBT stuff & similar topics. like he didnt know what a bisexual was until one of the girls at his club explained it to him removed. If you put this man through covid 2020 lockdown he would come out trans in some way which is WHAT I DO TO HIM!

ive kind of given her my gender which is no gender but in the opposite way where hes transfem vs me being transmasc. she still aligns with more masculine things but also sophie called him her 'favorite pretty girl' as a joke once and he had to sit down and dissect the feelings it put in his brain. i literally use she/her or he/him for her depending on what flows better with the sentence in my brain.

if i do commit to the rewrite though it wld be very very subplot that IS noted, but he literally wouldnt even have time to properly think about it in depth bc hes u know, trying to kill someone, someones trying to kill him, etc............ but also for the rewrite i am wanting to do 'spinoff' where i jst invest some writing into 'downtime' story for like. character development. Filler basically but its not being injected as to prevent the rewrite from getting too long bc I Promise You It Will.

2. going 2 go over this before my actual next point i wanted to go over but this mf has autism. he wears sunglasses p much everywhere & honestly jst seems like he has a sensitivity to light. the way he goes about certain social instances in the show. and i dont think we were shown Much of how she is in the courtroom but she very much seems to be a patterns sort of person when it comes to solving situations.

also i am autistic.

3. the actual thing iwanted to go over: herspecial interest is colognes/perfumes and he can identify a VERY good portion of such jst by smelling it. i literally dont know why this is wht i chose for him but hes Definitely like insanely prissy about personal hygiene and (covers the show with my hand) dresses herself well and i just think he shld have a cologne/perfume collection.

chi zhen doesnt really have too many REAL personal belongings, hes been in jail, where he lives is very purposely hidden so he doesnt really have an Option to keep many personal items. But. I think he wld have a pretty decent collection of different cologne/perfume. which is fueled when people give him such for birthdays/holidays

i dont think she wld specifically have a preference bc different perfumes suit different people, on top of different styles of perfumes and all that. ipersonally dont know enough abt perfumes to even go in depth for it but she would kno the intricacies. She would.

its not smth he like talks abt all the time bt by god u ask him one (1) thing related to it and it can turn into a good 45 minute conversation b4 she realizes whats happening and immediately goes :| BC IT GETS HIM EMBARRASSED ........... but he likes it a lot and of the ppl who kno abt her interest they usually ask her for suggestions on it bc she likes assigning certain scents 2 people. like a planned filler scene i got is based on her getting like really suddenly angry/antsy while trying to go over a case and its literally bc lu li unexpectedly changed colognes w/o saying anything and he fucking lectures him for it

but yeah um i thikn that is all i am goign to willingly post abt publicly for my hyperspecific hcs for this guy bc 4 some reason i think the cringe police will come and kill my ass if i go into anymore depth. i lvoe this mf so fucking much i want to dissect him like you would tear off a young branch from a tree and split its bark in order to see the stringy inside

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

Hey, I get that you are probably expressing your anger and anxiety at the current state of the world through strawmanning people who you think just want a hair cut, but I, a non-essential employee, wanted to, have, and will continue to go to work. I kinda want to make money so I can continue living and patronize the local joints so they can too. We all wear masks and are politely mindful of others. The curve flattened, we all did our part, please get your knickers out of a twist.

hey, you’re on anon so I can’t tag you in this but I hope you see this response anyway because you have some misconceptions here that aren’t your fault at all but because of the shite the government has been saying

firstly I’m going to assume you’re in the UK, so apologies if youre not - but the government only started promoting the use of masks yesterday (ish?), and before that were pushing that they not only don’t help but are actually more dangerous than not wearing them, which means that the vast majority of the population not only arent wearing them but are very against them - there are pictures of completely packed tubes with maybe one or two people wearing masks, so it’s definitely not the norm

I absolutely understand your stance on wanting to go back to work, I’m very lucky to have been furloughed but my employers are - currently - making up the rest of the wage as we’re a gym so by law cannot open so we don’t have the option of going back, but I completely sympathise with people who arent as lucky. the decision to let people go back to work shouldnt be with the companies or the people, because without laws in place to support businesses not running the only viable option is to open back up, instead this needs to still be a government enforced lockdown with the proper support so that people are able to not suffer as a result of it. I don’t disrespect people who have made the decision to go back to work at all, I completely sympathise, my anger is directed at the government, not at you

my biggest issue with your comment is with the misconception that “The curve flattened, we all did our part,” and that again is entirely the fault of the government because they’ve been pedalling that rhetoric as if once the curve has flattened that means we can get back to normal. What it actually means is that the rate at which people are getting infected has evened out, rather than increasing exponentially, it has NOT decreased. when we started lockdown we were at around 200 deaths a day, we’re now at around 700 a day (its 3am please excuse my lack of fact checking), that isn’t anywhere near a figure that should signal the end of lockdown and return to normal 

the curve having flattened means the cases will in theory now go into a slow and steady decline, rather than spiking really fast and then coming back down really fast - which means we would have all the cases at the same time and our hospitals wouldnt be able to cope - with a flattened curve those people still die but the deaths are more spread out so it’s less of a strain on the nhs all happening at once. people will still die in huge numbers. 

the thing is, the curve having flattened doesnt mean its over and we’ve “done our bit” or even that it’s steady. it means that if we keep the same measures it will start to decrease, but if we start going back to work and easing social distancing measures we’re going to have a second wave. think about how quickly cases were increasing when we were at 200 deaths a day, well we’re now at around 700 deaths a day and easing lockdown, think about how quickly those cases will climb again when people are back on public transport and meeting up with friends etc

none of my anger is aimed at people who are going back to work or want to return to normal life (except for the people in america who are?? protesting?? a pandemic???), my anger is at the government for purposefully spreading confusing information and for not doing what a government should and making the decisions for businesses and people and instead only giving guidelines which forces business to return to normal when it absolutely isnt safe to

I know this was probably long and boring, but I assure you if my knickers are twisted it is rightfully so, and just because the curve has been flattened for now does not mean we’ve done our part and stop worrying. 

[taikanyohou]

I can however argue that 2gether would not have been successful if it wasn't for the fact that Bright and Win are gorgeous + the other side actors are very invested and active. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the show and very excited to get some more content for it. Though, the production was sloppy and the show had its flaws, it felt rushed and unfinished but it pulled through thanks to the characters and the fact that they managed to get some dynamic and pretty faces.

hiii anon!!! mmmmm yes. i mean, yes brightwin are v good looking, but also lets not forget here how win was practically forced to lose 10kg in 2 months to fit tine's character description. so yes, looks did play a part. but in terms of this toxic ""aestheticism"" culture we have (for the lack of a better word), in all shows now, looks of characters Do play a part in the whole appeal and selling of a show and a character, whether we like to admit it or not. bc we associate looks of characters very heavily with the character themselves. whether thats their hair colour, tattoo use, outfits, accessories and jewelry, makeup and styling, facial hair, weight and height etc, amongst so many other things.

but i think the timing of 2gether coming out was its biggest bonus/asset, along with how it skyrocketed on social media, again, bc of the time it got released, which meant international access to it was made v v v open and easy and simple. it could be marketed v v v easily to a global audience by social media bc there was no other way to market the show humanly due to lockdown. so it gained attraction at a much larger scale. thats ultimately why 2gether got popular on a global scale, if you're talking about solely viewership, international outreach and numbers.

talking about it from a storyline pov, as a drama, the story was just ... refreshing, in that, yeah, it was nothing new. it was simple. and it was light hearted and fun and a proper rom com. i think for me personally, it also just really neatly dispelled many toxic lgbt+ tropes too. it showed lgbt+ love in a completely normal, chilled out way, just how rom coms do. and the characters have their individualistic appeal to them. other things helped, like the music and the cinematography and the colours too - it was a warm colour palette show. it didnt take itself too seriously but still managed to show depth. yeah, every show has a couple of bad episodes, which show doesn't? but pining the whole show down on to just those 2 episodes and a goddamn cursed high-5 alone, and overlooking the rest of the entire show seems unjust tbh. like i keep saying, when the show was airing live, nobody was complaining then!

so yeah, whilst the success does partially lie with having a good looking, social media active cast, you sorta have to see why social media played such a HUGE role in 2gether's success, especially in the circumstances and time period that the show was airing. its the backbone of it. but i wouldnt say having a good looking cast = instantly successful show. the show had appeal to the masses bc of the things the show had in it, which weren't perfect 100% of the time, but being critical means looking at both the good and the bad, not just the bad only, before making a judgement on something. and most people i know take 2gether's bad with the good, and say they enjoyed the show! so its no surprise that still2gether is monopolising on the back of 2gether's success. people want more of these characters bc they love them and their storylines, the actors who play them show sincerity, love and respect to their characters and (lgbt+) audiences, p'aof as an lgbt+ writer, director and producer can authentically write stories for lgbt+ characters and audiences, and so ... why would an entertainment/production company not use that to their monetary advantage as well?

bc now, gmmtv's budget has skyrocketed, they'll invest even more money into still2gether, which is why people are saying that still2gether's budget has increased bc just by the trailer alone, ppl could immediately tell there's been a budget raise. so ya know, who knows, still2gether's (production) quality could be much much better and less sloppy than 2gether's was (which imho, wasnt even that bad tbh, aside from certain plot points during ep 12 and 13). so then, i wouldnt be surprised how much more still2gether will appeal to the audience, not just bc of the good looking actors, but bc of the whole show itself increasing in quality. and so of course countries like japan and taiwan and the philippines, and broadcasters like netflix, wetv etc have signed deals with gmmtv to broadcast 2gether as well as other gmmtv shows, i'm sure in the future too, in their countries/platforms, and big magazines like vogue and gq as well as domestic thai brands are jumping on brightwin's current success.

bc i can hand on heart say, that nobody, and i mean nobody, expected 2gether to ... well, reach the popularity it has. win was practically nobody before this. bright was literally on scraps getting side role after side role. i'd say apart from like frank, drake, gunsmile, guy, toptap and gun, maybe even mike too, the rest of the cast had unseasoned/not that well known actors (inc. khaotung, jj and pluem). and then, 2gether happened. so. yeah. a lot of factors come into play.

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

[makishinichi]

heike monogatari spoilers under the cut (tbh i should not care about this because the story is thousands of years old but anyway)

first off i'll have to thank my lockdown self for gaining a mild interest in all things yoshitsune because i actually read the books before watching the story.... the tale is incredibly famous and therefore im sure locals would understand the episodes better than i did... but reading the books definitely helped me understand the story!

yamada naoko is just so brilliant damn.... i tend not to tune into war stories because of how futile they are, and also i was really worried because of how violent the books got at times, but her direction just left me in awe.

i was especially compelled to watch due to the trailers - the constant repetition of motions emphasises on the fact that this story has been told again and again and again, there is nothing new to this story. but that entices the viewer to watch - they’re not interested in how the story ends, but they’re interested in how the story will be told, because they’ve heard it so many times before. i’m sure that’s the reasoning why famous tales get adapted again and again and again, and this one is no exception.

i found it a good touch that biwa was the main character instead of lets say shigemori, or koremori, or tokuko/kenreimon. if those characters were the main characters, that would pull it into a series alike game of thrones. but yamada and yoshida seemed to emphasise mostly on the fact that this anime is a retelling of events that has been told for over 800 years. biwa is in a similar position as the viewer / reader of the tale, because she knows what will happen in the future but continues to follow the characters anyway. she can see the past, just like the viewer who has been reading this story for years and years. in the beginning she resents the heike, just like how the viewers / readers do as they read about the horrors that the heike have committed, but along the way she feels sympathetic for them, the way the readers do.

there are around 12 books in total, and there are so many stories to tell, but yoshida reiko skewed the vision down to the most famous parts of the books, and the story was mostly told from the heike's point in view, so a lot of it was left out (ie yoritomo's mistrust of yoshitsune, the death of shunkan, etc etc) but the story Is supposed to be about the heike, so the series focuses almost entirely on the heike, with the bare minimum of attention on their opponents. the story flows on for quite a long period of time and it was difficult to condense it all into 11 episodes, but for the most important scenes, every moment was drawn out carefully, so that the rush of plot wouldnt leave you devoid of emotion.

of course there were loose ends that she didnt tie up, like what happened to munemori and shigehira in the end, but it was a good choice to end all mention of the remaining misery after dannoura... the ending was brilliant and it was so... yamada. i really cant say anything more than that.

as someone who really loves yoshitsune's character, i really enjoyed his inclusion in yamada's story. two things i hoped for: he would actually be a short man with buck teeth instead of a beautiful man, and his fall from grace (especially since the latter was captured in the books pretty well).. but anyway. this story is about the heike, not yoshitsune. but if director yamada ever wants to direct a story like hashi benkei or ataka/kanjincho though, i would definitely be the first person to tune in!

what can i say about the cast and the voice acting... they were brilliant. irino miyu and hayamin once again playing important characters in a yamada naoko production. almost all, if not all the important characters were played by heavyweight veterans, so of course they were able to do the famous characters justice. i found it absolutely amazing that they could cast akio ohtsuka in a role with such few lines, but him being cast as benkei was literally like someone picked my dream fancast and laid it at the casting director's feet. 

ushio kensuke and yamada naoko share an incredible vision and the soundtrack is fantastic, on par with girls,dance,staircase as one of my favourite anime osts of all time. i was really happy hitsujibungaku was chosen to do the opening, because they’re one of my favourite bands, and i never thought they would ever do an anime opening, but here we are! this anime really is everything i’ve ever wanted, from the story to the director to the cast to the music and even to the band doing the opening track lol.

ive always admired yamada's ability to find the beauty in impermanence... the pathos of things / mono no aware, for lack of better expression. she executes that theme so incredibly well, whether tamako love story or the shape of voice or liz and the bluebird. the main theme of heike monogatari is the impermanence of all things, which is why it was the perfect story for her to try and make her own. and god she did it so well. maybe history buffs could disagree with me, but for me, i was left satisfied. if she ever wants to do a retelling of yoshitsune’s story, count me in!

[shieldsmusic92]

So it started in my GCSE years so year 10/11. I originally wanted to be an electrician for some reason! The only reason why I would think I wanted to be an electrician is because I was told that Trade jobs are the best to have as you get paid well and it's a safe industry. By this, I don't mean I was pushed towards it as my family/people around me never pushed anything on me. I guess I didn't know what I wanted to do and just chose that, I remember my Grandad saying to me to be a decorater which I honestly could not think of anything worse.

So anyway I chose to do Electronics as one of my GCSE's which looking back, well no even then I knew it was a waste of time. The teacher did not seem to care and the only thing I remember is making a pencil holder which had little L.E.D Lights, I remember drawing up a design, I wanted it to light up and spin, my teacher said that it was possible to do and got my hopes up to then tell me half way down the line that it wasn't possible. I just think he couldn't be bothered to show me how to do it...

I don't remember the exact moment I realised I didn't want to be an electrician anymore but during my time doing my GCSE's I started listening to a lot more music and thus began my deep interest in music. I started playing guitar, going to gigs and playing in bands.

The end of GCSE's came and I went into sixth form where I studied Music Technology, I didn't know what I wanted to do career wise in Music but I just knew I wanted to be in the music industry. Learnt so much in the 2 years of studying with a great teacher. I learnt about all the technical side so how to record music but also I learnt the theory side of music like composing etc. I really wish I had started music from a young age so I could have learnt more theory based stuff about music.

After Sixth Form I went to University, Leeds Metropolitan University, where I studied Music Technology. I finally knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a sound engineer for Theatre, I am a major musical theatre fan, me and my family love going to see shows on the West End in London so this career would be perfect for me. I have to say University wasn't for me, I believe it is a hell of a lot of money and I unfortunately know a lot of people who are in the music industry who haven't studied at University. Although I developed some skills at University and learnt very few new things, I really think it was a waste of time. I did not make the most of University to be honest, I didn't have the typical student life but at least I got a degree out of it.

My first job was at Debenhams, I worked there as a part time sales advisor for 4-5 years but during University I left and started at New Look (fashion retailer) still part time but just wanted something new. I graduated from University and was set free into the real world! I worked more hours at New Look while I decided what to do with my life. I was in bands and was gigging and my dream was and still is to be in a big touring band full time so I decided against the sound engineer for theatre career as it would take up my evenings when I could be gigging but that didn't matter anyway because shit was about to go down.

I met my ex girlfriend through JoinMyBand in my final year of University, I joined her band at the time. We started dating and I stupidly moved in with her after a few months, she didn't work due to health issues and she had a child who I loved, all fine until she got worse and I quit my job to look after her full time!

Let's skip ahead 2 years because that story is for a different time maybe, maybe not.

We broke up on Christmas day 2016. I was jobless but bloody happy to be out of there.

February 2017 I started my job at New Look again except this time in a different store, luckily my old deputy heard what happened and offered me a job as she was Store Manager in the store which I worked at for about 2 years, I was so grateful to her and still am! It was here where I basically realised shit I need to get my life together now, I worked so hard and decided I would try and make it in retail, I wanted to get to the top! I progressed to Supervisor, step 1 complete. I also would like to mention that I met my beautiful wife to be here so that's another step of getting my life together complete.

After 2 years, I moved stores as working in different stores helps to progress in retail. This store was the White Rose store which I worked in after Debenhams so it was nice to be back there again. I was eager to progress but I didn't seem to be getting anywhere, October came and a position came up in York for Deputy Store Manager just Maternity Cover so I took it which was the best decision ever, as stressful as it was, I learnt so much from it.

The maternity cover contract came to an end in February and by this time COVID19 had started unfortunately cutting my time short at my next maternity cover deputy Store manager position at Doncaster, I worked there for 3 weeks then we went in to the dreaded first lockdown!

Lockdown ended and so did my maternity cover at Doncaster so I was unfortunately forced to go back to White Rose as a Supervisor but I owned it, my demeanor had changed and I had a name for myself.

Another lockdown was on the way during the Christmas period of 2020 I progressed to Sales Manager (promotion from supervisor) but only because our Sales Manager was off sick. It was all good, I was on good money and doing well for myself. Lockdown 2 came and I had a feeling that I would be stepped back down to Supervisor during this time, my January wage came through and my payslip said I was getting Supervisor wage again! Knew it...

Therefore I knew this was my time to start looking for a new job. I had done all I can at New Look I did so much for them, worked in many different stores, worked so hard but there just wasn't a higher position for me anywhere and I want to successful and just think New Look would not have been able to give me a position for a very long time especially in the current climate.

I started looking for jobs on Indeed. I applied to at least 100 jobs! I still wanted a Customer Service job as I'm good at it. I came across a job that was for a company called JHS which is a music instrument/accessory distributer, I thought oh this would be cool as its customer service based and its on music so everything I love! So obviously I applied.

We come to an end of my blog, this is what this blog is about, I went to an interview for this job, it was my first interview in a very long time....

I got the job! I officially start tomorrow, I have left retail and I am finally working in the music Industry, no it isn't the sound engineer career but to me it's better. It's Monday-Friday 9-5 all to do with music. My life now literally revolves around music and I wouldnt have it any other way!

Thanks for reading, wish me luck!

[whence-the-woody]

2020 

I used to do big, reflective summaries of my year and even tho I am feeling reflective today, I wasn’t able to do that last year and I actually really like the format I went with last year of just listing memz so I’m going wih that. Intention review etc will be in another post. So, my 2020 memories:

Jan

Gearing up to leave a job I hated, packing up my life to move away properly for the first time. Going flat hunting with my mum and my brother and having a literal choice of one

I did Home which I dont really remember so it was probably fine

This was the month the Gallavich wedding aired and gaslit me into believing there was still anything positive about that show/ship. Tbf at the time I was LIVING for it

Cinema kick with Mum including CATS. What a moment. 

Feb

Last day at said crappy job (just weird and awks. I didnt really know how to feel) and starting a new one - everyone was so lovely from the off and even tho I was bored at times I was optimistic

Staying with my brother for a few days, him helping me move in which was all very nice. 

My flat having no hot water for the first week - I only cried about it once. And me having nothing but an air bed for 3 weeks. Not ideal but grateful to have amenities and furniture by the end of the month

I think this was both kareoke night for one persons birthday and a 90s party for another - both excellent nights

People were talking about COVID by the end of the month but I was like pfft we’ve been here before with swine and bird flu, it’ll be all hyped up then go nowhere 

I think I was getting my first allocations by the end of the month which I was grateful for because going from an insane workload to none at all was tricky and I wanted to get going

March

Oh March 2020. How we did not see you coming. 

Before the lockdown even happened I remember people were panic buying. I stocked my freezer a bit, not because I was worried but because so many shelves were empty. All the shops starting looking apocalyptic and I was despairing over how silly everyone was being. You couldn’t get online shops anymore and there was no loo roll to be found - still think thats just so dumb. I had to go to 4 different stores to find oats and was so annoyed, weird little tidbit but I remember it. 

 I remember sitting down on my new furniture - eating a meal I had made, watching John Mulaney and feeling good in my new home - and seeing the Boris announcement. Other countries had already locked down so I had mentioned to my manager that I might have to go home to my Mums if it happened here - she had asked, I didn’t really believe it would. I had arranged for a friend to visit that month and when she cancelled I was like I think everyones being dramatic but okay. Then the 23rd, they announced a lockdown from midnight and I straight away messaged everyone to say I was panicking, asked my manager if I could leave and packed to drive back to Mum’s the next morning. I was in my flat about 6 weeks. 

I know for a fact that March felt like the longest month to ever happen but now I cant remember anything else from it - the announcement was so late in the month, I wasn’t working from Mum’s for that long before April. I think we were told to WFH if we could mid-month but I didn’t. Cant for the life of me now think why it felt so long. I know for those last 2 weeks I was refreshing the news constantly to see what was happening. I was still skeptical and thought the numbers were too low for such drama

April

WFH for real. Excruciating daily calls “to check in”. Working my first cases from home, only on the phone, with no idea what I was doing. Taking turns wearing headphone with Mum because we were both having confidential conversations. 

Walking my pup to get my alloted hour of exercise. Taking regular breaks to go outside - I think this was when there was a heatwave. Eating lunch outside. Sometimes doing weights or yoga during my lunch break - that part was actually pretty great 

Discovering podcasts - especially FDRF. They were the real MVP. 

Still constantly checking the news for updates. 3 weeks turned into 6 and so on and so on. 

I came back to my flat for one of the long weekends. I had accepted that it was going to be longer then 3 weeks and I needed more stuff. I went for a very hot walk through a ghost town - at the time it still seemed like there were too many people about. Still picnics in the park happening. 

Everyone flinching when they say each other and steering well clear. It made you feel tainted even though its what we were suppossed to do. 

Clapping for carers - absolute bullshit placating, hated it. 

Always being left off the list of keyworkers.

Still feeling like yeah its bad but ?? This cant go on forever 

A year of build up to a move then the rug was pulled out from under me, I tried not to complain because others had it so so much worse but it was hard. Is hard. 

We watched all of Location, all of Marvel, Bake off etc etc. I cried when Tony Stark died. 

I went back through my ENTIRE tumblr. I realised how little had changed really, it was very existential. 

May 

I had to come back to my new city because I was on a duty rota for 2 weeks. I was actually very excited and had a good time. I got to see people IRL!! Including some I was working with. It was definately a heatwave at that point - we were swealtering in our cars and full PPE but I was so glad to be out and about and back in the city. Putting a face and proper clothes on again was very weird

I dont remember anything else from May specifically. I think March and April lasted 10 years but then May June July were a blink. I think I had accepted how bad everything was by that point, I had stopped looking at the News for updates. I think this is where zoom started to be a thing maybe. 

June

Honestly not a clue. I was between My place and Mum’s because of the duty rota. I don’t think I came back FT until end of June. I know things were starting to open up again and it was all moving far too fast - I definately wasnt going to run out to the gym or pub but alot of people were. We were suppossed to go on holiday for a week this month, with my brother and the dogs but obvs that was cancelled - it was such a lovely place as well, shame. 

Yoga was still random but I did a weight workout every day this month which was great

July

Turning 25. I was definately back in the city FT, going back into work. My Mum came to stay in my place for the first time. My brother came over too. We went for a walk, had a picnic in the rain then ate cake back at mine. My Mum got me a microwave for my birthday because Im AN ADULT

For my birthday also me and my Mum watched Hamilton for the first time. This then took over my entire life and was played at all hours of the day 

Kept going with daily weight workouts, moved up another set. I think this is where I re-did Revolution

August

Ready to start socialising again. More restrictions were being lifted too quickly which I knew but also I had to GTFO

A friend came to stay with me for the weekend. Hes not very mobile so we couldnt do much - went for a short walk into town, sat by the river and got severely sunburned. We went to a restaurant for the first time in 6 months - I had pancakes. I made him watch Hamilton which he did not appreciate enough. Also watched Truman show for the first time while eating burritos - what a mindfuck that movie is I mean really

Went for a very long very hot walk with a friend all around the fields surrounding the city. We stopped for a drink and cake halfway, more drinks were then had in her garden. This was our first time hanging out alone and it was really lovely, we spent much more time together after that. Shes probably who Ive seen the most this year. 

A couple of weeks after that we went for bottomless brunch, followed by I think 3 or 4 other bars. The joys of getting day drunk. 

I think this was the month I started using friend/dating apps and got OBSESSED. They’re just so silly and judgey and fun, I love it. 

My 6 month tenancy ran out which I chose to renew. I started negotiations with my landlord for a pet agreement. 

I think this is where I re-did Dedicate. I think weight workouts fell off a little bit because I was pretty busy. Instead of running started doing 3 walks a week which was nice. 

September

First time hanging out with more then one person - did a Hamilton viewing party with 4 of us. There were american themed snacks, it was great. Not a boozy night which was needed. I think I then went for coffee with 2 of the girls this month. 

First time meeting up with 2 girls I met on an app - I’m still friendly with one, not the other. It was mostly a good time and I’m very proud to have done it but then drunken politics came up and it got AWKWARD. 

Nagging and nagging and nagging my landlord until she signed the pet agreement and LET ME GET A CAT

My obsession with apps was replaced with a cat shelter/app obsession. It was very frustrating because I wanted to rescue and they make it very hard so I eventually found a for sale ad and contacted them - it was a rescue though as far as I’m concerned, she was in a horrible situation for an “owner” who had no clue and had only had her for a couple weeks before giving up and putting her up for sale. I rescued her okay. I think it was 3 or 4 weeks after getting agreement that I went to pick her up. So getting everything ready for her was a big part of this month

I did manage to fit in a 5 day holiday. It was suppossed to be solo travel abroad but ended up being a Mon-Fri with family. We did some NT walks it was nice.

Then it was literally that weekend my brother drove me to Wales to pick up my new fur baby. Instantly fell in love obviously and my whole life became about her from that point on. They told me she was really timid and scared, she had been hiding in her current place, but I was so impressed with how curious and confident she is. She was wary at first, a bit flinchy, didnt like being petted with 2 hands, didnt like loud noises, wouldnt come on the bed or sofa, wouldnt come into the living room really. I put child locks on alot of doors but shes not mischivous so its never really been an issue. She loved to play from the get go and did come to me for a fuss from day one. I adore her basically. The first time she jumped on the sofa, sat next me on the bed, slept on my bed, let me stroke her with 2 hands, her first vet trip, every little first and win has always been a massive victory, Im a v proud mama. She was no name for a few days but quickly somehow became my Myshka (the whole long list I had went quickly out the window somehow)

Did some more regular yoga. Tried to do 5 weight workout a week but it was a bit random. Walks fell off because of anxiety over leaving the cat. 

October

Alot of WFH to be with the cat. Definately obsessed. 

We had our team day on a farm, that was lovely

Saw my friend for Halloween - watched Hocus Pocus for the first time, had cocktails, watched a boring horror movie then Rocky Horror which is just exceptional. Lockdown 2.0 was announced but we were tipsy and over it. 

A very stressful month work-wise, lots of deadline, threat of Ofsted, management changes, admin changes, not getting enough sleep because work stress and struggling with productivity. My health suffered a bit too because I didnt have time for lunchtime exercise anymore. 

November

Technically there was a lockdown but it felt no different because everyone was still in school and work, I dont think people even tried this time. 

The election, refreshing the results constantly. I fully expected a T win and was happy when he didnt but still disappointed at how close it was, as was everyone 

I bought my first Christmas tree and my own decs. Christmas shopping obvs. 

I downloaded Tiktok and started to question far too much about my identity. its ongoing. 

Most important was SUPERNATURAL. I had alot of feelings, it was an absolute rollercoaster my god. What a time to be alive that was. 

A couple of outside coffees in the park which is always nice. I went to a new friend’s house for tea and met their dog, also nice. 

I did a SV for the first time in a very long time and it reminded me of everything I used to hate about my old job, so happy to have left there

Test weekend taking the cat to stay with the family dogs, she did great, shes a champ

December

Pretty standard Christmas month. Had a christmas movie night with themed snacks and hot chocolate with one friend. Had another friend come for the day to do the same - first time I had seen her in a year after 3 cancellations, that was very lovely

Constant restriction changes and crappy government pissing me off but it didnt affect my plans luckily

All the Tier 2, Face Hands Space signs feeling very dystopian

Brother’s 30th plans got cancelled coz COVID. Back up NYE plans got cancelled got COVID. Actual NYE was fine tho the normal show/song/crowd was cancelled coz of course COVID 

OVERALL

Not so good shit

I mean the whole thing in general yknow

Alot of plans couldn’t go ahead - various groups I wanted to join, a new gym, more nights out with more people, more chances to meet new people ETC

My diet has been an inconsistet shit show BUT TFB there were months where you couldnt predict what was going to be on the shelves, you couldnt get orders and the whole world felt so pointless and dark like why even care about that shit yknow

My exercise also wasnt consistent though I dont feel too bad about it. I was always doing something I feel like even if it was just walking

Ive ended the year with the same amount of savings I started with which isnt exactly bad since I moved and furnished a flat and got a new pet but it isnt great

I hate WFH with a burning passion and im worried the world has accepted that as a new normal and im not okay with it

None of this shit is over yknow

Just a general hopelessness is the face of big world things yknow. Theres really nothing we can do about it, just gotta ride that wave and vote when ya can

No travel - I had such plans!!

Good shit

My new fur baby who I love and adore beyond sanity

Starting a good job in a great city with lovely people

Growing so much in confidence because Fuck it, everything is pointless anyway and theres no point in planning or caring so imma just do me

Exploring so much of who I am through new relationships, my own environment, little things like exploring my style, picking up old hobbies, trying new routines and habits

Strengthening some friendships and maintaining others despite the insane obstacles

Maintaining a positive relationship with My Mum in particular, and my whole family

Trying new things in my new city. Still managing nights out, a somewhat proper birthday and a short trip

No actual mental breakdowns which this year feels like a win. My mental health is actually in such a better place then it was this time last year. The job was killing me, thank fuck I got out when I did 

I redid more then 1 30 day programs and did 2 straight months of weights 

My family, friends and I are all safe and well 

Music of the year:

Hamilton

An awful lot of Panic! 

Anyone - DL

Partition (idk dont question me)

Basically alot of drama while trying to hold on to both my emo and club days - fuck I miss clubbing yall. I dont even like clubbing. 

Media of the year:

I should acknowledge Shameless even though I came full circle on it and have now fully abandoned the whole thing and prefer my own AU where Milkoviches get what they deserve 

Schitts Creek

Supernatural 

Hamilton obvs

Marvel technically, it was alot of hours

Staged

Derry Girls

Pose

The Old Guard

Pride - which is not new but we watched it on Christmas eve and I cried in my mums lap okay 

Ship of the year has to be Destiel I mean standing ovation for that rage inciting moment followed by a solid month of absolute chaotic good, it was glorious in its destruction. 

2021 INTENTIONS TO FOLLOW