#just thought I'd add that since she couldn't remember it 'v'

[random-twst-and-oc-stuff]

Unexpected Love

There's a new student in NRC. She seems quite close to Nicole. Let's see what our siren thinks.

I never thought I'd fall in love again after what happened with my ex. Well, that was until she arrived. Of course I didn't much of her when she transferred except that she most likely did something bad to end up in a school like Night Raven College and she most likely convinced Crowley to be a student here with some cash since this is an all boys school. This crow is too easy, truly. Just give him something shiny and he'll do whatever you ask him to. Anyway, despite her kind nature, something told me something dark like the night sky she seems to adore lay beneath. But she told me there's beauty even in darkness, so maybe it's not so bad.

Azul thought she could be useful and sent me to befriend her. He had an eye for those things and who am I to oppose my housewarden? But I couldn't allow myself to lie or twist the truth either. So, I went and told her my true motivation. While Azul's intentions weren't exactly pure, I knew he wouldn't hurt anyone. That's what me and the twins are for. But there was no point in hurting her as she hadn't done anything wrong. Surprisingly, she accepted to hang out with me regardless. Land dwellers truly were strange sometimes. Did she hope I'll actually enjoy her company eventually?

She was right.

Not only did I enjoy her company, I also started growing fond of her in a way I was sure wasn't platonic. I was pretty sure I was developing feelings. Unsure about what to do with said feelings, I went to Lilia for advice. He simply told me to go for it and confess when I'm ready.

After a lot of internal conflict, I was ready. One Friday night, as we didn't have school the next day, she invited me over to have a sleepover. Both of us asked permission from our housewardens, of course. I still can remember it as if it was yesterday. We sat and drank while munching on some food I got from the Mostro Lounge which I paid for before Azul could chew me out. While employees didn't get the items for free if we wanted to order something, the price was lower for us. Back to the sleepover, we were having fun just hanging out and chatting away. I loved seeing her smile and laugh, and a selfish part of me wanted to be the reason for her happiness. After a while, she got the idea of braiding my hair. I was a little worried because of her lack of sight, but agreed anyway. As she started working on my hair, I let myself get lost in thought. When she was done did I act on my feelings, telling her what I felt. To my surprise and relief, she felt the same. I couldn't wait to tell everyone, knowing I had to wait until the next day.

I never thought I'd catch feelings again, but she came in and stole my heart. I'm grateful for her, she brings out the best in me. I can definitely add her to my future plans.

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Tagging: @mitsuri28 @riddles-hedgehog @moonyasnow @ceruleancattail @the-v-lociraptor @alysspandacookie @riddlesimps

[nightcall99]

Notes from 24.3.24

I couldn't sleep very well last night. I think AJ was in my dream. He had arrived to class and I was glad to see him, then we had to work on something. Then I had another dream where I shared a bedroom with my mother. I had just woken up in the morning and she was saying that it would be cold today. I was telling her how weird it was, that it had been cold the last two nights.

So, I think he is 'there'. As soon as I walked in, I was hit with a 'yes' but I'm not so sure. I thought it would be more obvious, can it really be so subtle? He seemed really subdued, more quiet than usual. We didn't really talk much. I mean, there's nothing to say.

His eyes changed back to how they were before. That focused, absorbing look. And when he looked at me, there were a few times where I felt there was was something there, looking back. I looked away really fast. I think I just don't really want to know.

But there was this one conversation we were having about a customer who was abusing some cough medicine to get high and he said that the guy had nothing going on behind the eyes. I agreed, since I'd served the same guy last week. I said his pupils were super dilated, and there's nothing there, just darkness. And then he said, Remember once a long time ago, you said that you sensed blackness behind my eyes? I said, Oh but with you there's something there. There's black but it's in the back, not the foreground. Well, isn't it right there? The truth came tumbling out of my mouth without my meaning to.

I dunno. I was depressed trying to analyse it. I spent my lunch break in my car just praying like, What is real? What is not? I'm really tired of the confusion and the deciphering. I've decided not to care anymore. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

But did a side of me believe that things might be a little more fun toward the end? Yes. I missed that sense of community. But I have never belonged so what am I hoping for? A few laughs, and conversations? About what, exactly? I just want to leave. I don't want to talk to anyone or make any re-connections. We can leave that for the astral. If the recall doesn't happen in a week (or ever), I have nothing to go back to. There's nothing else. This is my life. All I've had in this life, is the desire not to be in it. If I can't turn toward this, if this doesn't turn back toward me, I have nothing.

And even as I've typed all this I realise there's something inside me, watching. It didn't go back to sleep. It got woken up and it's wide awake. I've been monitoring that feeling ever since it said it would not go back to sleep. I've been checking and it's still there.

/

So I just came back after having dinner with my family and my aunt and uncle. I really don't like my uncle. Call it intergenerational trauma or something but ever since I got told the story that he left my dad behind while escaping during the Vietnam War, I've always detested his presence. Add to that the whole being a boomer thing and it's just something else. The moment I came out of my room he said You Look Really Tired (I said to him "Thank you"). And he referred to my time off work due to the V as The Year You Lost (I didn't lose anything) and he said You Know When You Smile You Don't Look So Mean (Thank you so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it) and my parents must have told him that I just rot in bed on my days off so he asked in front of everyone How Come You Don't Go Anywhere Or Do Anything (I'm introverted and a homebody, is that okay? Everyone is different right?) and also Why Don't You Have A Partner, Do You Actually Really Like Working There, Why Aren't You A Manager Yet, Why Don't You Buy A Shop, Your Glasses Are Crooked. This guy didn't let up even with my sarcastic responses. I mean, I responded with the same energy since I'm just playing the game, but I haven't fallen in. I'm not reeling from this experience, nor from the day's. Actually, I'm amazed. That inner me that is watching, it didn't go back to sleep. Today was low-vibe and I'm... I'm still here. Observing.

[zero-ek]

Oh look, it's another vsinger/utaite post... again, who'd've thought.

A lot happened this week and i don't want to flood your dashboard so long post it is...

First and i think what i've been looking forward to the most was Tamu's first live concert, and quite honestly i'm still amazed by pretty much everything about it. There wasn't a live band or a big screen with visuals to serve as eye-candy, but they made up for it with what i think was one of the best visual performances from an independent i've ever seen.

Like, she had two dancers for certain songs who were absolutely stunning, like the m o v e s they were pulling, and she actually danced on a couple of songs herself. And on top of that, they actually made her newest designs into actual outfits, you see these designs?

Yeah they're real, and not like in a "this looks like a cosplay way" no it's like the right materials and everything she actually looks like this^^, she even did the inner yellow on her hair it's crazy. I know they did the outfits for the La Prière shows but i didn't think they'd do the same for her own concert, and i think that's very cool.

(If you wanna see them, there's photos of the "Persona" one on her Twitter, and she actually did a watchalong where you can see like 20mins of the concert, it's unlisted but she keeps the links on her Twitter.)

Now visuals are cool and all but the singing is where it's at, and holy god she has no chill, like literally i think there was like one calm song, which was still quite upbeat. It never ceases to impress me how she can go immediately from her lower talking voice to the super high notes her songs have, and i love the pairing of it with the heavy instrumentation of her songs in a live setting, the first half of the concert sounded huge and she cuts straight though with her vocals.

I guess i should mention it, but while "Endgame" was the song i was looking forward to the most, i cannot get "Trade Off" out of my head ever since, particularly that "Kyou mo nemurenai de iru no wa, koko wa mou sude ni yume no naka" hook, i never thought much of the song before and now it's probably one of my favorites, goes to show how much live concerts can change your perception of certain tracks.

My only issue with the concert is that they didn't allow the crowd to mosh during the heavier songs, particularly the breakdown in Endgame.

Tangential to Tamu is that she dropped a new cover today with the LaPri gals, and there is like a billion things i could say about it but i need to mention that this makes the third time nayuta's using a inner pink short hair look so that means you can add another design to the roster:

(She's the last one to get 3D'd because they can't decide what design they should go with.)

On the Kamitsubaki side, Joucho's had her second live concert Anima II, which i'd love to say i could comment more on, but i couldn't watch it since it came exactly the same time as Tamu's. Which sucks because from what i saw from screenshots and reports not only it looked really cool, but i'm really curious about what's going on with the Sinka live series and Kamicity, i feel like the story is finally starting to make some sense but i've been having less and less opportunities to follow it. They usually do rebroadcasts a couple months after, though, so something to look forward to.

In other news, Harusaruhi got moefied!

(She's now legally required to cover Yoidore Shirazu, it's just the way it is)

Not even surprised, considering pretty much every single official material of her has been done by Isshiki, i mean the moment i saw HARU's official illustration was done by them i knew a redesign was coming. I cannot remember when was the last time i saw something done by her old illustrator, but to be honest i cannot remember things in general.

(I'm aware of the less than official reasons too, which i don't give much credit to but find it hard to completely disregard)

I like it? But i feel like at this point the original is evergreen to me, like it's what i think about when i picture Harusaruhi. I'm sure it'll grow on me but i'm not super crazy in love with it as of now. MAJOR point of contention on the headphones tho, the old ones were super cool with the chain and the spikes.

The song that came with it tho is super cool and i can't believe it's not Takayan, it really stays true to the sound of her latest stuff, which i really like. Though i can't lie i miss the more hip-hop-y vibe from the older songs hopefully the "2005 edgy teenager" look means more of that for the future.

On the Sinsekai, VALIS had a freebie live recently, which was cool. Though it's not a group i'm excited about, i've been listening to them a lot ever since i've picked up their coming, so i got some newfound appreciation for them.

Anyways here's Myu because i like her:

(Go listen to Katsuairon now it's finally on streaming it's the best one of the solo singles plus look at her it's Myu)

I'll do a separate post for the birthday girl because obviously.

[magicbench]

what inspired you to write fujiwara and CoF? :)

[Sorry for the following wall of text, please bear with me lol] For Fujiwara, at first I actually didn't plan to make it a story this long...The project actually has a "first version", a really short game named "Fujiwara High School Festival" if I remember well the name and that I did for a visual novel's challenge called Nanoreno where you have to make something to start from fnish in 1 month. At the time I did it only to prove myself that I'd be able to do something on my own and be proud of it and the game only featured Ikki and Yuta who were simply called Delinquent-kun and Prince-sama. As you can see I didn't put much thoughts into giving them proper names xD And though they had "cliché" personalities, they didn't have a backstory at all either. Basically, the MC (who didn't have a name either) was a last year midle school student going to prospect a certain -but random- high school during its school festival's day, bumping either into Delinquent-kun or Prince-sama and doing a tour of the festival. Minami did already exist though ! And there was a super mega random classmate guy wearing a ghost costume too. That's pretty it.

But...the more I wrote about them, the more I got attached and in the end when I released this tiny project I realized it wasn't enough for me and started to give Delinquent-kun and Prince-sama names, friends, families, brainstorming why there personalities were like that, etc etc. More characters were added, Ikki would have childhood friends called Toshio and Ryu, Yuta would have a secret, and a smart rival (for studies and popularity) called Haru and who also have a secret. And this mister-random-ghost-guy ? Let's call him Kenji and be one of Minami's good friends ! Aaaand after that...I decided "Oh well...at this point I just want to write them all main and backstories. Let's make them LIs too !" I also tried and changed a lot the art style until I finally settled on what is the one in the current game ~ And there was finally born the Fujiwara Bittersweet that we know today, with Aya and the 6 sad boys x)

Now, for Colors of Fate, it was also after I did a Nanoreno on my own. Unfortunately you can't play it anymore (or was it Fujiwara V.1 ?) as the website where I uploaded it is down ^^" But maybe I'll share it on my Discord server someday since I still have the project's code O/ The only notable thing which change with CoF V.1 is that the prologue is way shorter than the demo's current version and that it has a end somehow, where you see the characters grown up after the incident. There was only one love interest at the time and the idea of adding more came after that, when I decided to make it a longer project. But...as you probably realized, this time I am not the one taking care of either the art of the writing and the reason is really simple : I thought that my style wouldn't fit a CoF's longer project at all and I didn't like my art for this kind of story either. I wanted something with a more flowery and poetic writing which I was totally unable to do myself, one of the main reason being that english isn't my native language and that wasn't confident in my capacities about conveying this kind of feeling in my writing x) Cirro did and I'm so glad she accepted to be CoF's writer ! The same goes for Aria's (sprite artist) and Kat's (backgrounds artist) art, I just fell in love with their work and couldn't in any way do such a good job as they did ! And with all the other members (music, code, proofreading/editing) I have no doubts that Colors of Fate will become a really beautiful project (I mean...the demo already is !) and that people will love our little Melia's story ! ❤ Also...for those who aren't aware, we decided to add the duke Aiden in addition to the other LIs. If you don't fear a fabulous "sadistic trash man", then you'll probably enjoy the experience with him too ;')

----- Phew, wow that was a lot of words ! Your eyes are doing okay ? ;-; In any case, I hope I was able to answer your question properly...don't hesitate to not read all of this in a one go xD