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chaoskirin · 4 years

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Book Review -- The Heartstrikers Series

This is a book review about the first three books in the Heartstrikers Series, which starts with Nice Dragons Finish Last.

I liked these books, but I didn’t love them. It's definitely a solid three stars, and I'll read the last two books to see where it goes. Overall, if you like fantasy with YA elements, you will probably enjoy this series.

This review will contain some minor spoilers in order to justify my rating, with some MAJOR spoilers at the end.

First, the good. The plot is absolutely solid and it's clear the the author had a good idea of what she was going to do before she wrote it. It has a very mobster-type feel which I would expect with the way the dragons are characterized. The writing is occasionally clever and the main character is likable, relatable, and I'm able to empathize with his situation. The author may be projecting a bit as Julius' situation can get a little heavy-handed, but the theme of a found family is definitely present and well-executed.

I love the world that's been created. I'm originally from Detroit, so it was a pleasant surprise to find that the entire first book takes place in a sort of ghost-town version of it. I can picture the descriptions of the houses (I used to work in an old mansion converted in to an office, in fact!) and it's pretty clear that the author is from Detroit, or at least spent a lot of time there. Sometimes it got a little name-droppy as far as locations were concerned, but I kept hoping the author would namedrop the place where I'm from, so it's a fair trade. XD (She did not, sadly, but it was still fun to read about.)

The spirits and how they exist is also very interesting. Algonquin is an amazing villain in the second ant third books, and I can't wait to read more about her and the other spirits in the last two books.

There's also a great amount of action interspersed with the narrative, so that kept things interesting! Some books tend to either get lost in endless exposition or endless action sequences, but this book balances them very well.

Now for the not-so-good.

I picked up the first book expecting dragons. The title is "Nice Dragons Finish Last," after all, and while it's very clear from the description that the main character, Julius, is "sealed," I had hoped that there would be at least some mythological creature action. This is kept to an absolute minimum, though, in favor of dragons in their human shape. It's even a rather contrived "rule" in Detroit that dragons aren't allowed to be there. This trope has become outright cliche... I've been reading books for years and this was a common theme way back in the days of Dragonlance--take an incredibly powerful being and shove them into human shape, but add a coolness factor by calling them a dragon. (I wrote this part after the first book: there's much more ACTUAL dragon action in books 2 and 3. I still wish there was more.)

But they aren't really dragons. They think like humans, they act like humans, they seem to have the same emotions as humans... Except for another fantasy trope, which is taking every member of a species and shoving them into a single alignment (lawful evil in this case). Julius is the one exception, so it's a very Drizzt Do'urden situation and it's always been odd to me that every member of a species could be evil/good just because of what they are. (this is especially a problem with goblins and rampant antisemitism, but that's another discussion entirely.)

It's a problem that allows justified racism. If the entirety of one species is mean, it's really easy to make everyone hate them, and you lose the nuance of what real racism is. I would suggest that people not write about racism unless they've either experienced it or they've consulted with members of their community who have been the target of it. This becomes more of a problem in the second and third books when Julius is trying to prove that Not All Dragons Are Bad. And it becomes clear that both humans and spirits are very racist against dragons, but it completely lacks the reality of what racism really is. As one poster on tumblr said, "racism isn't just one species being mean to another."

Essentially, it puts all dragons on an uphill battle against everyone else, fails to become a proper allegory, and discards depth and warmth.

A small problem that I should mention is that sometimes plot points sort of fade? There was a situation where Julius' mom visits and he was very mean to Marci, and she was very upset about that, but it's never actually addressed. It sort of fizzles and ends and then everything moves on. It should have at least been mentioned and tied up.

Another problem is repetitiveness or filler text. When I'm going through beta reading for my books, I ask my readers to tell me ANY TIME they skim over text. When your readers are skimming, what you've written isn't interesting, and it has to be changed. I found myself doing this a lot in this book. I forced myself to read back and see what I've skimmed over, and it was usually information I'd already read being presented in a slightly different way. My advice would be to allow the readers to infer information without explaining it into the ground. One thing I would avoid is the discussion of plans before executing said plans--even if they ultimately go wrong. It's enough to say that your protagonist HAS a plan, then let the text speak for itself. These planning phases were what I tended to skip the most.

I can supply one sample of repetitiveness without spoiling the story too badly: One of the main characters is talking with a dragon character about a plan at the beginning-ish of book 3. And breaking the text down to its basics, it goes like this:

Amelia: You have to. Marci: I don't know... Amelia: But you have to. Marci: I don't know... Amelia: You really should do this. Marci: I don't know... Amelia: It's a good idea. Marci: Okay I'll do it. Amelia: Are you sure? Marci: Yes I'll do it. Amelia: Are you sure???

And the argument became VERY spread out over the whole chapter, interspersed with the same explanation of why Marci Should Do The thing, most of which I ended up skimming to the part where Marci ultimately accepted Amelia's idea.

Another chapter I skipped was in book 3 where two human characters had lunch with Marci. And as soon as it became clear they were discussing stuff Marci basically already knew, I just skipped the whole chapter. It was an unnecessary bit of writing that could have been summarized in one or two paragraphs instead. I went back and actually read it later. I didn't miss anything.

(my examples are from the third book because I just finished it and it's the freshest in my mind, but this is an issue in the first two books as well.)

I think there's a certain amount of realism in conversations like this. The problem is that your readers have already figured out where something is going, and they want to get there. If the author reads this, my suggestion would be this: Sometimes it's okay to cut events out when they're uninteresting. If you hate writing it, and your beta readers hate reading it, it can go. I wouldn't follow the advice that you should cut out EVERYTHING irrelevant to the plot, because sometimes it's fun to have fun, but the extra boring tedium can be safely summarized.

Next, Marci.

I first want to state here that my PREFERENCE is writing female characters. Most of my characters are women. And I understand there are a lot of readers who outright dislike all female characters, but I'm not one of them. I feel like that's an important thing to state before going into more detail about my issues with Marci.

I wanted to read more of the series before posting this review, because I felt Marci was a shallow character after book one. She felt like a female character who was STRONG, but NOT a strong female character.

And through the first book, she felt like a prop to the other main character, Julius, instead of a character all her own. (And to be fair, her ENTIRE story from the first book is sort of... hand-waved in books 2 and 3.)

In the first book, Marci isn't really written with a story arc. She's a sort of deus ex machina for Julius; she appears into his life mysteriously as he's looking for a mage, first of all. And while it SEEMS that she does have her own arc, it becomes clear by the end of the story that she's only a catalyst for the dragons' stories. The thing she's protecting eventually ends up in the hands of the dragons; she's essentially just a walking suitcase for them. She's a roadblock for the villains. And there's not even a true explanation of Why She Has The Thing They Want except that it's really cool and she wants it.

This alone may have prevented me from reading the rest of the series, but I'm VERY glad I did--While Marci has a slow start, her story does pick up in the second and third books and she becomes much more likeable. She still feels like a prop at times (other characters refer to her as a "weapon" even) but within that description, she's fighting her own battles and has become much less shallow.

I do wish she had more agency. I wish her decisions truly felt like hers, instead of the manipulations/machinations of those with higher power. But she's not the worst-written female character I've ever read, and the author makes it clear in the second and third books that she knows how to write good female characters (cough chelsie cough) so I can forgive Marci's shortcomings.

There's one Bad thing that I want to address, too, which mostly came up at the end of book 2 and throughout book 3. And this is a fairly major spoiler, I'm sorry.

You don't give a tyrannical dictator power after you defeat her. You just don't. Julius could have banished his mother if he refused to kill her. He could have let someone else kill her. He could have done any number of things. But the first thing he does is give her a seat on the new council and is just like "yes you still get to make decisions." And as you can imagine, this goes very wrong.

And book 3 is FULL of Julius refusing to let his brothers and sisters kill anyone, even when it's justified. This has always been a trope that rankled... You can't write about a coup and then have nobody die. It suggests that genocidal dictators Can Change If You Give Them The Right Opportunities, and we all know from real life that that doesn't happen. Tyrannical people in power will fight to keep that power. They don't learn. And props to the author for showing that these people don't learn, but... seriously, you don't keep people around who actively want to kill you.

I was so annoyed with Julius by the end of book 3, and the hoops the writing had to jump through to show his decision was good and right. He felt naive and almost stupid. And (VERY major spoiler here, just stop reading if you don't want the end of book 3 spoiled!)

...

Julius' mother had enslaved his sister for hundreds of years. When the sister was released, she immediately tried to kill her mother.

This would have justified ALL of Julius' actions up until that point if he'd just LET HER. Bethesda hurt Chelsie the most out of ANY Of her children. It would have been a PERFECT way to allow Chelsie to get her well-deserved revenge AND end the problem of Bethesda (who REALLY deserves to die.) And Julius made her stop, because That's Not How We're Doing Things Anymore.

I don't like that Bethesda is effectively not paying for the thousands of atrocities she committed over the last thousand years because the main character is a pacifist. It just doesn't sit right. And IDK if the author is building to Bethesda's death in the last couple books or not, but letting Chelsie kill her would have been the PERFECT end, and I'm really disappointed. No end for Bethesda would have been better than that.

Anyway.

As I said at the beginning of this review, I still recommend reading the series. It's a really interesting urban fantasy-type book, and while it crosses into YA territory, the fantasy aspect is interesting enough to keep me reading.

#book review #heartstrikers series #nice dragons finish last #fantasy #young adult fiction #not bestiary

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disinvited-guest · 4 years

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3/8/2020 Detriot

This show had some wonderful waiting! The weather was warm, and we never ran out of things to talk about. At one point, we saw an older man come out to the front of the venue and attempt to take a picture of the marquee. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but a few minutes after he left, Marty came out to the front of the venue, and crossed to the median of the street in order to take a picture of the marquee. Later, I saw the man with the woman who’d been with Marty, so I’m guessing they were both relatives of his.

The venue let us into the bar hours before doors, even checking ids and checking tickets ahead of time, so that when doors did open, we could go straight in. this all worked wonderfully, although the guy checking ids was pretty insistent that mine was fake. He asked me to tell him the address on the card, then for my license number, which I didn’t have any idea about. He eventually scanned the card and let me in, but it was really stressful.

Being in the bar so early, we were able to hear soundcheck, although there was nothing surprising except a bit of With the Dark, which they didn’t end up playing at the show. Once we got into the venue proper, we found ourselves along a security fence placed quite a ways from the stage, creating an aisle where security guards crossed continually throughout the show. I found a space further to stage right than I usually do, hoping it would allow me to see across to the drum riser, even with the added distance, which unfortunately didn’t quite work. It was a good angle to see most of the rest of the stage though. Fresh didn’t have interesting socks on, but he did have his hair in pigtails and under a ballcap, which he later switched for an orange bandana, and John Brunette was wearing glasses before the show started.

Since the first set was the same Flood set as before , I am once again shortening the format for this set, and doing a full recap on the second set.

Marty had a snack during the first few songs of the set, which he had been doing for the last few shows, but at this show Danny was eating a bit as well. He also put his pick in between the body and inlay of his bass to hold it while he ate.

There was a longer break-down during the instrumental part of They Might Be Giants than on the album, or than there had been the last few nights.

After messing up on We Want A Rock, Flans jokingly called a “band meeting” to discuss it, before greeting the audience and explaining the format of the show. “The first set is all Flood, the second set has hardly any Flood. Which will be better?” He then decided he wouldn’t be able to choose between the sets because “The sets are like our children. They’re all NEGLECTED!”

There was a bit of an awkward pause after that pronouncement, causing Flans to joke “next slide please” which he reused a few times throughout the show. He then promised us that this show had no teleprompter, and told us about a show he had seen that used one “It was bad, but that didn't make the tickets any less expensive.” Moving on, he asked Linnell “What did you- Did you get out today?”

Linnell explained that he had mostly slept, “We had a long day yesterday and a long trip here today,” and that everyone had been tired “I think we all lost consciousness at some point.”

Flans agreed, and demonstrated what it was like sleeping in a public place, his head leaned back and his mouth wide open, which both the audience and the guys onstage found hilarious.

Linnell then jumped in to assure us all that “We’re not completely straight-laced, but we’re not heroin addicts.”

Flans replied that there were only so many times you could deny that, saying he felt that “Saying you’re not a heroin addict is the sole domain of heroin addicts.”

Flans started out one verse of Your Racist Friend in a weird voice, but quickly realized it was unsustainable and dropped it a line in. During Hearing Aid, Dan sang along with the keyboard (which was using the voice setting) briefly.

Before Stilloob Flans introduced the song by explaining that “Lots of bands like to look back, but very few actually look backwards.” He explained what they were going to do, and attempted to ‘justify’ why they were doing it “When preparing we were looking for ways to make it interesting. Not just for the audience but for us.”

Linnell chimed in to say that it took a lot to prepare for this song, and it takes a lot to perform it “and we’re making it look hard.” He told us it wasn’t just musically difficult and compared it to eating a whole package of double stuf oreos, and how it seems like a really good idea.

Flans broke in, asking Linnell if he was”referring to the dedication it takes?”

“Yes!” Linnell answered, “The dedication, the GUTS!”

After Letterbox, Flans commented that the songs just keep getting shorter. The Johns then had a conversation about Harry Houdini. They had heard he was from Detroit, and asked the crowd for confirmation. The response was a bit ambivalent, with no clear cheer of yes like they were perhaps expecting. Eventually, peering out at the crowd, Flans said ”Some people are nodding. They're just nodding yes. He was from Detroit.”

A guy in the crowd shouted back at him “He’s still here!”

“He’s still here? Yes, he is still here,” Flans decided. Linnell then asked us if we had felt that, implying the presence of Houdini’s ghost. The lights did flicker the slightest bit when he said that, I’m guessing someone in the crew was being clever.

After Lucky Ball and Chain, Flans told us that on the album, that song had a fade out and that “Not many of our songs do.” He added that he wasn’t sure why, but that they were “probably tied with acdc for the fewest songs with a fade out.”

This reminded him of a supercut he had heard of ACDC endings, which he explained to us by demonstrating a few on his guitar. There was scattered applause and a sheepish Flans said quietly “That was three of them.”

Linnell chimed in, to demonstrate a few ACDC endings he thought were probably there, first yelling “Ehhhh!” and then “Yeah!” into his mic. The two then did one more ending together, with Flans adding his guitar to Linnell’s vocals.

An obviously amused Linnell told us to “Look for this on our next album,” with Flans adding that it would be called ‘Supercut.’

After the cheers and laughter died down, there was a beat, then Flans admitted “I don’t know what song is next.”

Rather than telling him, Linnell decided to give Flans hints, starting with the hilariously unhelpful “It’s off of Flood.” Which earned him a laugh from the crowd and a harried look from Flans. “I play a buzzer at the beginning of it,” Linnell continued. Flans still was confused, so he went to check his own copy of the setlist. While he was looking Linnell pointed out that a person in the crowd knew what they were playing next, because they had shouted it out. He pointed over in the general direction of the person, a few rows back from the drum riser, and they shouted it out again. Flans, returning to his mic, looked over and proclaimed “Oh look! It’s Mrs. Shut Up from shutthefuckup dot com! It’s good to see you, you don’t get out much.” There was a moment of shocked silence, and I think even Flans was a bit taken aback, because he tried to soften the blow, saying something about a talkative crowd.

They started Hot Cha, but Flans came in a little late, which meant it was just Linnell singing for the first line or so. Also, I keep forgetting to mention, Marty uses brushes for this song, which looks and sounds really neat.

Towards the end of the set, Linnell mentioned that they were still recovering from the travel and from the time change. (Since they had moved from central to eastern time, it felt two hours earlier than it was.) He joked that he expected their dopplegangers to show up for the show in an hour. “Whooaaa!”

Flans chimed in to point out “Houdini did live here.”

They finished out the set before leaving us for a “20 minute break that lasts an hour.” The crew got things set up for the Quiet Storm with no incidents, and it was soon time for the second set.

Godzilla was used for the intro music once again, and though Flans did a bit of his ‘creeping-onstage’ act from Chicago, he soon gave it up to bring his acoustic guitar over for Marty’s inspection. The two looked at the guitar intensely for a few moments before Flans pointed to a specific spot on the body of the guitar, which Marty inspected briefly.

Coming up to his mic, Flans mentioned jokingly that the line to the restroom had been short before they started into Music Jail. During the instrumental bit after the ‘form a band/take a stand’ part of the song, Flans moved closer to Marty, who turned and used his mallets to play the drum part on the body of Flans’ guitar! On top of being wildly interesting, it also sounded really cool!

Afterwards, Flans admitted “Marty and I have not done that move before in a public forum.” And pointed out a guitar owner in the crowd who had looked pained at the guitar’s treatment.

Linnell decided that maybe he was a mallet owner, suggesting that he was really thinking they were “Wreaking those mallets man!” which cracked Marty up.

Marty counted off for the next song and both Johns were ready, but Marty was not and stopped them abruptly. Looking over, Flans told Marty “I was there!” and Marty gestured towards himself, taking responsibility for the issue. I think he had forgotten to change a setting on his kit, because he messed with it for a moment, then counted them off again to start 2082.

The projection the band uses during this part of the show includes lightning flashes. This upset the security guards, who had told us all before the show that we couldn’t use flash-photography, and thought that someone was taking flash photos. They actually came down the aisle to tell random people taking pictures to turn off their flash.

Flans introduced the next song, Wicked Little Critta, as “hostile and actively aggressive,” dedicating it to their friends and relations in New England. Linnell claimed that they were deeply affectionate AND hostile, and that they could only express that affection with “mean feelings.”

Linnell flubbed a few lyrics during once verse of Wicked Little Critta, although he recovered quickly. Finishing the song, they left the stage to the Underwater Woman video once again. I’ll admit, I was a little tired of the video by this point.

They came back on stage part way through the last verse, and the crowd held off on cheering until the video was over. This meant they stood onstage in silence for a few moments, which was very strange.

Linnell acknowledged the cheers, when they did come, with the observation “We’re back again! We keep coming back!” They played Wearing a Raincoat, during which Flans must have made a mistake, because afterwards, Linnell said the song had used a “new introduction” and that from now on they were going to do it like that.

Flans told him “I’m yelling at myself so hard right now.” Linnell assured him that he had thought it was cool, but Flans just said “We’ll talk about it after the show.”

Moving on to introducing the next song, Flans told us it was from an album end of 2018 called My Murdered Remains “We did a lot of test-marketing on the title, and it turns out people are into hyper-violence.”

Linnell chimed in to say they had tested the title on “psychopathic focus-groups,” then used a deep voice to imitate them saying “Yeah! Good name!”

“We went to a screening of Clockwork Orange,” Flans decided, “and asked the audience afterward... what they thought would be a good name. And they just blinked three times for ‘Yes!’”

This led, of course, into The Communists Have the Music, followed immediately by Let Me Tell You About My Operation, during which Danny came up beside the keyboard to watch Linnell play. When Linnell caught him looking, he gave him a big smile.

Flans and Danny stood right next to each other for the intro to Older, which always looks incredibly cool with the symmetry of their instruments. During the bridge, Dan climbed up onto the rather tall drum riser to stand behind Marty and to pose dramatically during the pauses, often with the neck of his guitar pointing up and across the stage. This went perfectly with Marty’s super serious poses. Linnell did a cool bit on his Kaoss pad during the bridge as well.

From there, they played the Mesopotamians, after which Linnell brought up his new keyboard stand. He told us how long he’d had the old one and that he had started getting complaints and that he had “never felt wrong or bad until then.” He also told us the new one was a lot like the old one but it “has more stuff.”

“It has a sandwich,” Flans confided.

“There’s my math homework, but there’s also my lunch,” Linnell told us, adding that the jelly had soaked into the bread so that “the bread is turned blue on that side. Which is fine. I’m totally cool with that.”

“What we’re saying is stay in school kids,” Flans added.

He continued “We talk about healthcare a lot in this band. But…” he trailed off, then leaned into the mic “Next card on the teleprompter please.” Then started immediately into All Time What. The arrangement was different from 2018, with Linnell staying on keys, and Dan’s part covering the difference. At one point, Dan was air-playing the keys a bit.

From there, they played Ana Ng, and then Damn Good Times. There was an extra long pause between the chorus and second verse of Damn Good Times, Flans had stepped away from the mic, then took tiny steps moving back up to it. At the same time, Dan and Danny had what looked like a staring contest, which stopped when Flans began singing again. When it was time for Dan’s blistering solo, Flans told us all to sway along. At the speed needed, this moved quickly from difficult to nearly impossible, although some of the crowd hung on doggedly until the end. Danny thought the whole thing was hilarious and watched with amusement as most people fell behind and dropped out. They played New York City, going back to a part-rocking version this time.

Flans then told us “We’ve saved the best for now. Join us in welcoming-ing,” he paused, and when he went on was obviously still amused at his own blunder. “Mr. Curt Ramm on the trumpet back to the stage.” This meant, of course, that Curt was doing the intro to Istanbul, which was a nice switch up, even though I still would have loved another intro by Dan. While Curt was amazing us all, Linnell wandered off stage left for a bit, and Danny sat down on the edge of Marty’s riser. Istanbul was as high-energy as always, with Dan and Curt switching off for one ending, and Curt finishing it with a ridiculously high-note as always.

Dan and Marty left the stage after the song ended, while Flans told us they wanted to thank everyone in the audience individually, “Not every show is this fun for us. We have emotional problems.” He then introduced the last song of the evening as the opening song from Flood.

Linnell spoke over the crowd’s cheers with “just a note.” “Apparently this song is the exact length of time that it takes for you to wash your hands. So we encourage you to consider singing this next song rather than Happy Birthday the next time you wash your hands… Immediately after the show.” They played Theme From Flood, then left the stage to enthusiastic cheers and applause.

As soon as they left, a bunch of security guards took up posts along the front of the stage. It didn’t really obstruct the view at all, but I’m still a bit amused they thought these fans were going to cause trouble.

After a few minutes, they were back onstage. Flans looked out over the crowd as he got on, holding up one hand and moving the other in a circle. The crowd thought he was asking for more appreciation and increased their cheers. After a few moments though Flans stopped the gesture and said, still looking to the back of the venue “That doesn’t mean anything to us.” He did not sound pleased. I think someone on venue staff must have been making that towards him in a “wrap it up” type gesture.

Linnell said “You need an orange vest to do that,” although I’m not sure if he was talking to Flans or the person gesturing at them.

As the crowd started to quiet down, Flans told us they were ”having a conversation backstage about the nature of encores.” He explained that “Everything, including interpersonal relationships, is all just theatre.”

He then revealed that they time their encores, so that they don’t seem too nervous “At some point we realized we were basically walking offstage and turning around.”

Linnell added in a mock-desperate voice “Please don’t stop clapping! We’re insecure”

Flans continued, explaining that they time it to avoid looking like “the hambones that we are” but that they never take the time to explain why they do it. Because of this, people assume it is “a weird make ‘em earn it thing.”

He finished “But such is the nature of theatre ladies and gentlemen. Your attentions may be beautiful, but their effects are horrible.”

He then realized he had no idea what the next song on the setlist was. Linnell told him that the amazing thing was that their discussion “is the perfect segue into the song.”

Flans, halfway to look at his setlist, suddenly said “Oh! I remember! I remember.”

“Aggh!” Linnell replied, disappointed.

“I wrote the setlist,” Flans told us all, now back up at his mic. “Okay, here we go!”

They then launched into Fingertips, the beginning of which was marked by Dan gesturing wildly offstage making sure his mic was on. Flans did an exceptionally passionate boy band impresion for Heart Attack. As always, the whole thing was wonderful in the way that only Fingertips can be.

Flans told us all “We gotta get outta here!” Thanked us all for coming and for bringing our friends, then said “We know you have your choice of They MIght Be Giants-like bands, and we’d like to thank you for coming to our show, which we think of as the original show.” They then played Doctor Worm. Linnell didn’t change the settings on the keyboard for Dan this time around, and I think the keyboard setting they used was different because of it. As they left the stage, Flans pretended to smash one of the security guys on the head with his guitar.

The cheers for the next encore were noticeably quieter than they had been for the first one. I guess if people knew they weren’t coming out for a certain amount of time they were going to pace themselves.

After the correct amount of time had passed, they all came back onstage, with Linnell commenting “Was that 60 seconds? I feel that it was.” Linnell then pointed out another feature of his keyboard stand, the rearview mirror. “Marty has to look at me when we’re playing, in case I’m making faces.”

He then asked “You guys ready?” This got a cheer from the crowd, which surprised Linnell. “I...wasn’t talking to you, sorry. That’s okay, we’ll start over.”

They then started the always beautiful End of the Tour, then went straight into The Guitar from there. This performance had Flans using one Jim and one Dan, and an especially awesome-sounding Future of Sound.

They then left the stage for the evening. I think it might have been due to venue policy, but they didn’t give out any stickers, although Marty came out and gave out setlists and his sticks and drumhead from the aisle between the stage and the security fence. While I had another show, this was the end of the run for a lot of friends, so I said my goodbyes outside of the venue before heading back to the hotel.

#tmbg #recap

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daleisgreat · 6 years

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Eric Bischoff: Wrestling’s Most Controversial Figure

Eric Bishoff has made the rounds over the years since leaving WWE in 2005 to tell his tales of the business. He wrote a pretty good biography under the ‘WWE Books’ banner in 2006 called Controversy Creates Cash that ranks high up on the wrestler autobiography curve. He has done countless DVD ‘shoot’ and podcast interviews over the years, and he is currently a co-host of the 83 Weeks with Eric Bischoff podcast alongside acclaimed wrestling podcaster Conrad Thompson. Needless to say, there are a lot of ways to find out about Eric’s life in wrestling. In 2016, WWE released their official BluRay/DVD with a documentary of Eric’s life and career with the standard array of full-length bonus matches and promos. It is called Eric Bischoff: Wrestling’s Most Controversial Figure (trailer). First off, shame on WWE for that awful home video cover art. When this video was first announced it showed a serious looking Eric on the cover, but I imagine Vince McMahon must have had one last grudge he was fuming over and went out of his way to find the most smug, arrogant looking headshot of Eric and slapped it on the cover. Worst off is the disc cover art where it is modern-day Eric duct taped and hands tied. I would not put it beneath Vince to be of the mindset of ‘Dammit, if I am going to make money off of Eric we are going to at least make him the most pathetic looking person all over the box and disc artwork!’

Bizarre artwork aside, this is actually a surprisingly respectful and serious documentary about Eric Bischoff. The feature interviews Eric on his ranch in Wyoming which provides a serene backdrop throughout and it is apparent the production crew went out of their way to interview Eric in several different spots on the ranch, including a great closing scene with Eric reflecting on his legacy around a campfire. The 95 minute feature is the perfect length for covering his career. The prerequisite ‘before-wrestling’ part of the doc is handled well with Eric detailing how he bounced between Detroit and the Twin Cities and his early business endeavors in landscaping, modeling and aspiring entrepreneur. I forgot about him making a commercial deal with the AWA to promote his Ninja Star Wars game which was the catalyst to him forming a relationship with Verne & Greg Gagne that eventually lead him to receiving a job in the AWA which paved the way for him landing in WCW. There are a lot of interviews with family, friends and peers of Eric throughout. Most prominent are Kevin Nash, Diamond Dallas Page, Sonny Onoo, WCW boss Harvey Schiller, business partner and Wonder Years alumnus Jason Hervey and Eric’s wife Loree. Nash and DDP have a lot of insight on Eric’s rise up the ranks in WCW and how he revolutionized Monday nights with WCW Monday Nitro. They and Schiller also have a lot to say about Eric lost control of WCW first with Time Warner/Turner acquisition and eventually all together with the AOL/Time Warner merger. There are also archived past clips of Eric’s detractors stating their side. I have seen countless takes and read just as many perspectives on the rise and fall of WCW, but to see Eric’s side-of-view is still worth seeing as how he ultimately blames backstage politics with the mergers and acquisitions for the fall of WCW and his eventual ousting from the company in 1999.

I dug Eric looking back on his three and a half years as the first RAW General Manager, and there is a nice montage of moments Eric was part of along with interview snippets from Steve Austin and Chris Jericho sharing their memories of Eric being their boss. I was not surprised to see them omit and not even mention Eric’s four years in TNA/Impact. I was thinking there would be a passing reference like in the Dudleyz or Sting’s WWE documentaries, but it was probably for the best that his time there trying to reignite the ‘Monday Night Wars’ with the Hulkster be best forgotten. One part in the documentary I got a ton out of I always wanted to know more of was Eric’s friendship and business partnership with Jason Hervey. I know the two have been longtime friends and formed a business together, but not much beyond that. Here they have a candid interview with the two breaking down their history and entrepreneurial ambitions and projects they have worked on over the years. Really good stuff here and it shows how Eric is keeping himself busy. It is apparent that Eric is not dwelling on the past and has obviously moved on from his tumultuous days in WCW, especially with that pivotal closing scene with him being introspective around the campfire as a great way to close the documentary.

As with most WWE Home Video releases, the BluRay is packed with bonus content. There is 37 minutes of bonus ‘stories’ aka deleted scenes that were not deemed worthy of the main feature. Highlights include Bishoff’s hunting tales, reflecting on the Turner/Warner merger and Jericho’s memories of going 17 months in WCW without a contract. A couple years ago WWE Network ran a two part Eric Bischoff interview special with JBL that ran for just over 90 minutes combined. It hits a lot of the same bullet points as the documentary, but in a different ‘shoot’ style format with JBL pressing Eric on some of his most controversial decisions. It is highly recommended supplementary material. To finish off the first disc there is another Eric Bischoff feature from WWE Network where Eric counts down and analyzes his top ten most controversial moments. On the second disc there is nearly four and a half hours of full-length past interviews, promos and matches from Eric’s career across AWA/WCW/WWE. About an hour and a half of those are BluRay exclusives. Some of these extras are followed up with brief, modern-day reflections on that moment/match from Eric. There is a lot of gold in here from when Eric was a junior C-list announcer for the AWA and his early WCW years with him interviewing Sid, Larry Zybysko, Vinnie Vegas, DDP, Vader and attempting to get an interview out of Missy Hyatt in the shower. There is a lot of great content here from his days leading the nWo from 97 and 98. I completely forgot how awesome the sketches with Bischoff firing referee Randy Anderson were and Eric went on in the extras to share how WCW got complaints how some fans thought it was legit. Bishoff’s calling out Vince McMahon to a match at Slamboree ’98 and Vince no-showing the match are both standout moments of the Monday Night War that I was delighted to see make the cut for this compilation.

There is a wide array of his top moments as RAW GM in their entirety, and there quite a few standout spots here I completely forgot about. Eric donning the disguise that fooled everyone as the pastor who ruined Billy & Chuck’s wedding is priceless and must-see. Austin messing with Bischoff at Judgment Day 2003 from their time as co-GMs of RAW is also amazing material. The best moment/match on this second disc is easily ‘The Trial of Eric Bischoff.’ It is 35 minutes of gold where WWE’s style of comedy rarely worked where Vince McMahon presided as the judge to determine if Eric could build a compelling argument to keep his job as RAW GM. After nearly a half hour of off and on witnesses throughout RAW, the episode culminated in one of the best sendoffs of an authoritative figure in WWE history! Amazing work that holds up tremendously today! There are a handful of matches included that Eric participated in such as his much anticipated bout with Larry Zybysko at Starrcade ’97, squaring off against Vince on a 2004 RAW and putting his hair on the line against his nephew Eugene from Taboo Tuesday ’04! Sadly, the times Eric did the honors for Ric Flair at Starrcade '98 along with celebrities Jay Leno and David Arquette in tag matches are not included. High marks for this collection! Just keep in mind this is Eric’s take on his side of history, so expect a little bit of spin from him on justifying his actions. The documentary covers all the pivotal points of his life and career (sans-TNA/Impact) and there is a treasure trove of extra features to get lost in and relive a ton of great moments from the ‘Monday Night War’ and Eric’s run as RAW-GM. Eric Bischoff: Wrestling’s Most Controversial Figure is a worthy addition to any fan’s video library! Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

#Wrestling #eric bischoff #Vince McMahon #jason hervey #Diamond Dallas Page #Kevin Nash #WWE #awa #wcw

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jodyedgarus · 6 years

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No City Needs A Championship As Badly As Philadelphia

The sports fans of Philadelphia are known for their unique brand of bottle-throwing, Santa Claus-attacking, expletive-laced rowdiness. But is this reputation deserved? Are they actually any different from other fiery fan bases in, say, Buffalo or Oakland? I asked my colleague Rob Arthur to look at citywide crime rates, and he couldn’t find any significant uptick on game days. Then again, multiple Eagles fans are alleged to have punched horses (!?!) during these playoffs alone:

Another Eagles fan punched a police horse outside Lincoln Financial Field https://t.co/RMeXZemhf1

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 22, 2018

The tug of war between Philadelphia’s view of itself as a combative underdog and the greater prestige to which it sometimes aspires will be on full display Sunday night, when the Eagles take on the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII. Between the city’s sports heartbreaks and hooliganism, its perpetual inferiority complex and recent civic resurgence, this Super Bowl could be a turning point for Philly or another way for its fans to double down on their notoriety.

“You can’t deny that there is coarse [fan] behavior,” New York Times reporter Jeré Longman told me in a phone interview. Longman would know — he wrote a book about the neuroses of the city’s fans the last time the Eagles made the Super Bowl, back in 2005. But he also made a case that Philly deserves a better image. “It’s the founding city of the United States; it has these great institutions,” Longman said. “And now it has a vibrant art and music scene, great food, lots of young professionals living downtown.” In Longman’s view, Philadelphia too often sells itself short of what it could be (and already is) when its fans live down to their boorish reputation.

“The city’s slogan actually used to be, ‘Philadelphia: Not as bad as Philadelphians say it is,’” he said. “Maybe this Super Bowl will be a chance for people in Philadelphia to realize what a great city they have.”1

The roots of the Fairmount Park-sized chip on Philly fans’ collective shoulders go back decades — the infamous Santa snowball incident happened in 1968, less than three years into the Super Bowl’s existence. But they have seemed to grow deeper as the years went on without a championship in the sport Philadelphia embraces the most. The Eagles, which have been around since 1933, are one of 13 NFL franchises that have never won a Super Bowl, and nobody has won more total ballgames among the Super Bowl oh-fers.2

Making matters worse, the Eagles’ rivals in the NFC East — the hated Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants and Washington Redskins — have won a combined 12 championships in the Super Bowl era. Six times a year, Eagles fans are forced to contrast themselves against fan bases whose historical résumés have been weaponized for the taunting.

There’s a cultural component to the frustration as well. “Football represents Philadelphia’s ideal view of itself: a tough, blue-collar sport,” Longman said. Both he and Glen Macnow, a longtime host at the local sports-talk radio station WIP, agreed that the Eagles are the one team in the city whose rabid support stretches across demographic and societal lines. Indeed, over the past five years, the Eagles have dominated the search-traffic battle against the city’s other pro teams to a greater degree than the national average.3

“It’s a football town,” Macnow said. “The Eagles bring together everybody in the city.” If so, that also puts the team squarely at the emotional epicenter of Philadelphia angst.

The city’s general lack of sports success over the years hasn’t helped matters. Philly teams went more than 25 years without a title, between the 1982-83 76ers’ NBA crown and the Phillies’ World Series victory in 2008. And it hasn’t been for lack of trying. In the 34 years starting in 1984 — the year after the Sixers won their title — through 2017, no other city in pro sports has underachieved more on the championship front, based on the number of actual titles won and the number we’d expect from how many teams they had in each sport.4

Which sports cities have overachieved the most (and least)?

Actual vs. expected championships in the big 4 North American sports for cities, 1984-2017

Championships vs. Expected Top 10 NFL NBA MLB NHL Total Boston +4.38 +1.78 +1.84 -0.27 +7.73 Chicago -0.12 +4.78 -0.31 +1.73 +6.08 Los Angeles -0.88 +5.60 -0.59 +0.73 +4.86 San Francisco +2.88 +0.00 +1.84 +0.00 +4.72 San Antonio +0.00 +3.78 +0.00 +0.00 +3.78 Edmonton +0.00 +0.00 +0.00 +3.73 +3.73 Pittsburgh +0.88 +0.00 -1.16 +3.73 +3.45 Detroit -1.12 +1.78 -0.16 +2.73 +3.23 New York City +1.75 -2.45 +3.69 +0.20 +3.20 Miami -1.12 +1.99 +1.19 -0.80 +1.26 Championships vs. Expected Bottom 10 NFL NBA MLB NHL Total Washington, D.C. +0.88 -1.22 -0.43 -1.27 -2.05 Seattle -0.12 -0.92 -1.16 +0.00 -2.20 Minneapolis -1.12 -0.97 +0.84 -1.00 -2.25 San Diego -1.09 -0.04 -1.16 +0.00 -2.29 Milwaukee +0.00 -1.22 -1.16 +0.00 -2.38 Buffalo -1.12 +0.00 +0.00 -1.27 -2.39 Cleveland -1.02 -0.22 -1.16 +0.00 -2.40 Phoenix -0.98 -1.22 +0.33 -0.68 -2.55 Atlanta -1.12 -1.22 -0.16 -0.37 -2.87 Philadelphia -0.62 -1.22 -0.16 -1.27 -3.27

This assigns Boston and Philadelphia a “half-championship” for the 2017 NFL season, since Super Bowl LII’s winner isn’t known yet.

Expected championships are calculated by assigning each team in a league equal odds of winning the title in a given season and then adding up those title chances over time.

Source: Sports-Reference sites

(And that’s after assigning Philly and Boston a “half-championship” each for the upcoming Super Bowl, assuming that each team has roughly 50-50 odds. If we didn’t do that, Philadelphia teams would be running a collective 3.7 championships below expectation since 1983.)

Here’s another way this data helps illustrate why Philadelphia fans are so emotionally overwrought when it comes to sports: In terms of expected titles — which measures the sheer number of cracks a city has had at championship glory — Philly trails only New York, Los Angeles and Chicago (and it’s tied with Boston and Detroit). Justifiably, it thinks of itself as belonging among that group of towns. But collectively, those five cities have won 57.5 championships — 25.1 more than expected — since 1983, with each exceeding their expectation by at least 3.2 titles. Philly, meanwhile, is running 3.3 titles below expectations. Add in the fact that Philadelphia ranks only 25th in championships won since 1983 despite being a top-eight U.S. metro area by both population and economic might, and it makes sense why Philly fandom is often a powder keg waiting to explode.

“It’s like a permanent wedgie,” Macnow said of Philadelphia’s sports inferiority complex. “You look up the East Coast at New York and see their championships and at Boston’s smug fans — we call them ‘Massholes.’ There’s an element of envy there as well.”

That’s one reason the Patriots might be the ultimate opponent for the Eagles as they try to end their Super Bowl drought. Since 1983, Boston teams have won 7.7 more titles than expected — in exactly the same number of chances as Philly had. The cities are similar in many ways, from population to their shared importance in the early history of the country, a common insular attitude and their parallel rivalries with the behemoth situated between them — New York City. It isn’t difficult to envision an alternate universe in which the fates of Boston and Philadelphia sports had switched places several decades ago.

Everyone agrees that an Eagles win on Sunday would set off something approaching total pandemonium in the Philadelphia. “It would be by far the largest sports celebration ever,” Longman told me. “There aren’t enough cans of Crisco in the world to keep people from climbing every [street] pole in Philadelphia.” Longman thought the potential crowds would dwarf the Phillies’ championship parade in 2008 and be more akin to when the pope visited the city in 2015.

Whether the long-awaited Super Bowl victory would mark the beginning of a change in fans’ behavior, however, is another question, given that so much of Philly fandom — for good and bad — is wrapped up in the feelings of being overlooked and misunderstood.

“It would require a change in a mindset that has prevailed for many generations,” Longman said. “It’d be fascinating to see if Philly is comfortable with being the overdog instead of the underdog.”

Although it would only begin to make a slight dent in the city’s championship shortfall of the past three and a half decades, winning Sunday would be a good start.

from News About Sports https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/no-city-needs-a-championship-as-badly-as-philadelphia/

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flauntpage · 7 years

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DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Phil Kessel. Good lord. This isn't Kessel dunking on the haters. This is him dunking on them, shattering the backboard, tearing off the rim, and then using that rim to teach cute little hoop-jumping tricks to their puppy, which immediately follows Kessel home because it loves him more now.

The second star: Phil Kessel. Look, the whole "Phil Kessel eats too many hot dogs" thing has been done to death, as has the backlash and then the backlash to the backlash. But this is next-level stuff. Seriously, take a minute to appreciate what's happening here.

The first star: Phil Kessel. He went and took the one thing that's come to symbolize everything the critics, cynics, and bullies have ever thrown at him and literally ate it out of the greatest accomplishment you can achieve in his line of work. Then he took a photo of it. Then he went back and took a better photo of it. Phil Kessel wins. Again.

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The issue: The Edmonton Oilers' Leon Draisaitl finally signed his contract extension this week, locking in for the maximum eight years on a deal that totals $68 million and carries a cap hit of $8.5 million.

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

Is it justified: Yes. Draisaitl is a very good player, but he's not some sort of generational talent like teammate Connor McDavid. That means we have plenty of similar players we can use to determine fair value for a comparable situation, and by virtually all of those measures this contract is way too high. The deal the Oilers signed was well above what even their most loyal fans were projecting as fair value.

Remember, this is just Draisaitl's second contract—he wasn't eligible for unrestricted free agency for four more years, so aside from the longshot chance of an offer sheet, he really had no leverage here. Other players who recently received monster contracts, like Patrick Kane, Carey Price, Steven Stamkos, or Anze Kopitar, were all within a year of UFA status, meaning they could plausibly threaten to walk away from their teams for nothing. Draisaitl was years away from that kind of negotiating power, but the Oilers panicked and paid him top dollar anyway.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL has a well-established system for paying star players. You work cheap on your entry deal, you get a better number on your second (and maybe third) contracts, and then you get the big bucks once you're nearing your UFA years. That system is fundamentally broken. It doesn't make any sense to pay top dollar to guys who are in their late 20s—those players are already past their prime. Most forwards, for example, have their most productive years between the ages of 22 and 25. It doesn't make any sense that players are expected to play at a steep discount during those seasons and then make it back years later when they're already in decline.

So what the Oilers are doing here makes sense. Unlike the Kane or Kopitar deals, they're actually paying top dollar for their player's best seasons. (Presumably, of course. We can never know for sure how a player's aging curve will play out, but as far as projections go, it's the most likely scenario.)

So which is it? Did the Oilers screw up because they overpaid based on how the market operates? Or did they get it right because they paid a fair price based on how the market should operate? It can't be both.

But right now, it kind of is both. That's because we don't know what kind of impact, if any, Draisaitl's signing will have on the way teams think about these deals. It's the kind of contract that could shift the market, leading other teams to pay top dollar to stars just entering their prime while shifting money away from older players approaching UFA status. If that happens, the Oilers will look like they were ahead of the curve, and Draisaitl's deal will probably turn out to represent decent value.

On the other hand, maybe the league shrugs and goes back to the old way of doing things. If that happens, the Oilers will have missed out on an opportunity to exploit a market inefficiency. Even if Draisaitl plays well enough that the deal represents fair value, it will still be a bad contract because the market dictates that he should have been underpaid.

Right now, we just don't know. It's Schrodinger's contract. But with Jack Eichel still waiting on an extension and Auston Matthews up for one next summer, we probably won't have to wait long to find out.

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Recently, we found out that USA Hockey's development program will be making a fairly substantial rule change for players ages 14 and under. Starting this season, teams will no longer be allowed to ice the puck when killing a penalty. Doing so will now be treated as regular icing, with a face-off in the defensive zone. The move is meant to encourage young players to think through situations and handle the puck rather than just automatically flinging it down the ice.

It's a smart change, one that will hopefully encourage a little more creativity in a sport that so often lacks it. Youth hockey is all about having fun and learning, after all, and playing with the puck on your stick instead of reflexively dumping it down the ice serves both those ends. So kudos to USA Hockey for the change.

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Not immediately, of course, but is this something that the pros should be looking at doing someday? After all, it seems odd to penalize a team for an infraction but then give it a special set of rules that makes the game easier. If we're trying to increase scoring—and we should be—then a reasonably simple rule change to make it tougher to kill off a penalty seems like low-hanging fruit.

On the surface, it makes sense, but there are two problems with the concept. Let's start with the obvious issue, one pointed out by at least one former NHLer: Most teams would probably just keep icing the puck anyway.

Today's coaches are relentlessly conservative. It's not hard to imagine them deciding that killing off 10 or 15 seconds of a two-minute minor is worth an occasional face-off in their own end. Sure, players would try to execute a 180-foot flip that would fall just short of the icing line, but coaches would probably be fine with taking the icing a man down, just as an increasing number of teams seem fine with it late in the game when the other team has its goalie pulled. And that would mean fans being treated to more whistles, more milling around the face-off circle, and less momentum.

The other issue is one that I've raised before: Efforts to increase scoring should be focused on changes that will help at five-on-five, too. That's how most of the game is played, and we don't want to train fans to sit around and wait for powerplays. There's also the risk that officials who've been told for years not to decide a game will be even more reluctant to call penalties if they know that powerplays are more effective. It would likely be a small influence, but it could be enough to cancel out most of the offensive gains we'd otherwise see.

None of that means the NHL shouldn't explore making the change. Maybe they will someday. But it's not the slam dunk it should be for youth hockey, because in the NHL, the law of unintended consequences is always waiting just around the corner.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Brown was a Boston College star who went undrafted before signing with the New Jersey Devils in 1986. He got a quick look in the NHL that year, and then made the full-time roster for the 1987-88 season, scoring 14 goals as a rookie and earning one second-place vote for the Calder Trophy. That lone vote left him tied with Ulf Dahlen for sixth, just slightly behind 51-goal-scorer Joe Nieuwendyk.

Brown was a useful piece for the Devils until 1993, when he signed with the Penguins as a free agent and got to play with his younger brother Greg. Like everyone else in the Mario Lemieux era, he had the best offensive season of his career in Pittsburgh, putting up 55 points. It wasn't enough to keep him out of the following year's waiver draft, where the Detroit Red Wings grabbed him.

He spent the last seven years of his career in Detroit, although the Predators did take him in the 1998 expansion draft before immediately trading him back to the Red Wings. He was part of two Stanley Cup winners before hanging his skates up in 2001.

As far as career highlights go, well, he scored the first playoff overtime goal in Devils' history in 1988, and had two goals in the Red Wings' Cup-clinching win in 1998. But let's face it, none of those come close to being the best Doug Brown videos you can find on YouTube. Meet me in the next section.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

It's tough time for the New Jersey Devils these days. The team is rebuilding. The team is rebuilding, they finished 27th last year, they may not be all that much better this year, and they just found out that Travis Zajac will miss a big chunk of the season. But hey, New Jersey fans can always look back on the glory days. No, not the three Stanley Cups. I mean the time the Devils were on General Hospital.

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

This clip appears to be from 1989. The Devils were coming off of their first ever playoff appearance a year earlier, one that involved dramatic overtime heroics and also referees getting called fat pigs. It was a mixed bag, but apparently it was enough for the producers of General Hospital to say, "Let's get those guys on daytime television."

Our scene begins with several young nurses rushing in to volunteer for duty. Apparently "one of the hockey players" has been injured and is coming to the hospital for treatment. Given how excited everyone is, I bet it's one of the team's big stars like Kirk Muller or Sean Burke.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Brown's in the middle of his sophomore season, one that saw him post 25 points. That may not sound like much, but give the guy a break—as you can see, he was playing through a serious wrist injury that required a visit to the emergency room.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

At this point, things get a little awkward between Brown and one of the nurses. It's very subtle, but if you can get past the porn soundtrack that starts playing in the background, it's implied that they might be flirting.

So let's address the elephant in the room: Why would you cast Doug Brown of all people in the starring role for this? It's not like there weren't any more famous Devils available, as we'll see in a minute. But they went with Brown. Why? Here's my best guess: He was the only player on the team who could string three words together. Seriously, have you ever seen hockey players try to act? It's not pretty. The pantheon of everyone who has ever tried is basically Basil McCrae absolutely nailing it and then dozens of guys doing variations of this. You take what you can get.

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

We skip ahead, as an elevator opens to reveal two gentlemen who look a lot like Ken Daneyko and John MacLean if you CGI'd hair onto their heads. It is indeed them, as pointed out by one of the off-duty nurses. She also makes sure to mention that MacLean made the All-Star team, while Daneyko just gets labeled as "the big guy." Defensemen, man—they get no respect from anyone.

Daneyko and MacLean are here to pick up Brown and drive him home from the hospital. You know, the way NHL players do. But instead they immediately get to work hitting on the nurses, presumably because they both have a thing for 1980s sweaters and Kelly Kapowski haircuts. Which I'm not judging them for, just to be clear.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

She also asks them how they skate backwards, but before Daneyko can answer, "Actually, it's the 80s, so most of us still can't," Brown returns from his examination. "You guys should try to get on the injured list," he tells them, before going in for a kiss on his nurse friend.

Can we just point out that Lou Lamoriello was running the Devils by this point? What do you think his reaction to all of this was? I think we may have found the genesis for his whole "never talk about injuries" policy.

The other nurses demand to know what happened in there, but Brown's companion refuses to answer while, um, rubbing her throat. I guess we'll never be able to crack the code. It will remain a mystery forever.

And that ends our clip. Tragically, the Devils missed the playoffs that year. Brown stuck with the team until 1993, but never had the kind of breakout season fans were expecting. For some strange reason, he never managed to go an entire season without getting injured.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years

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DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl’s Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Phil Kessel. Good lord. This isn’t Kessel dunking on the haters. This is him dunking on them, shattering the backboard, tearing off the rim, and then using that rim to teach cute little hoop-jumping tricks to their puppy, which immediately follows Kessel home because it loves him more now.

The second star: Phil Kessel. Look, the whole “Phil Kessel eats too many hot dogs” thing has been done to death, as has the backlash and then the backlash to the backlash. But this is next-level stuff. Seriously, take a minute to appreciate what’s happening here.

The first star: Phil Kessel. He went and took the one thing that’s come to symbolize everything the critics, cynics, and bullies have ever thrown at him and literally ate it out of the greatest accomplishment you can achieve in his line of work. Then he took a photo of it. Then he went back and took a better photo of it. Phil Kessel wins. Again.

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The issue: The Edmonton Oilers’ Leon Draisaitl finally signed his contract extension this week, locking in for the maximum eight years on a deal that totals $68 million and carries a cap hit of $8.5 million.

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

Is it justified: Yes. Draisaitl is a very good player, but he’s not some sort of generational talent like teammate Connor McDavid. That means we have plenty of similar players we can use to determine fair value for a comparable situation, and by virtually all of those measures this contract is way too high. The deal the Oilers signed was well above what even their most loyal fans were projecting as fair value.

Remember, this is just Draisaitl’s second contract—he wasn’t eligible for unrestricted free agency for four more years, so aside from the longshot chance of an offer sheet, he really had no leverage here. Other players who recently received monster contracts, like Patrick Kane, Carey Price, Steven Stamkos, or Anze Kopitar, were all within a year of UFA status, meaning they could plausibly threaten to walk away from their teams for nothing. Draisaitl was years away from that kind of negotiating power, but the Oilers panicked and paid him top dollar anyway.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn’t.

When you’re going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL has a well-established system for paying star players. You work cheap on your entry deal, you get a better number on your second (and maybe third) contracts, and then you get the big bucks once you’re nearing your UFA years. That system is fundamentally broken. It doesn’t make any sense to pay top dollar to guys who are in their late 20s—those players are already past their prime. Most forwards, for example, have their most productive years between the ages of 22 and 25. It doesn’t make any sense that players are expected to play at a steep discount during those seasons and then make it back years later when they’re already in decline.

So what the Oilers are doing here makes sense. Unlike the Kane or Kopitar deals, they’re actually paying top dollar for their player’s best seasons. (Presumably, of course. We can never know for sure how a player’s aging curve will play out, but as far as projections go, it’s the most likely scenario.)

But right now, it kind of is both. That’s because we don’t know what kind of impact, if any, Draisaitl’s signing will have on the way teams think about these deals. It’s the kind of contract that could shift the market, leading other teams to pay top dollar to stars just entering their prime while shifting money away from older players approaching UFA status. If that happens, the Oilers will look like they were ahead of the curve, and Draisaitl’s deal will probably turn out to represent decent value.

Right now, we just don’t know. It’s Schrodinger’s contract. But with Jack Eichel still waiting on an extension and Auston Matthews up for one next summer, we probably won’t have to wait long to find out.

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Recently, we found out that USA Hockey’s development program will be making a fairly substantial rule change for players ages 14 and under. Starting this season, teams will no longer be allowed to ice the puck when killing a penalty. Doing so will now be treated as regular icing, with a face-off in the defensive zone. The move is meant to encourage young players to think through situations and handle the puck rather than just automatically flinging it down the ice.

It’s a smart change, one that will hopefully encourage a little more creativity in a sport that so often lacks it. Youth hockey is all about having fun and learning, after all, and playing with the puck on your stick instead of reflexively dumping it down the ice serves both those ends. So kudos to USA Hockey for the change.

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

“I volunteer.” Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Not immediately, of course, but is this something that the pros should be looking at doing someday? After all, it seems odd to penalize a team for an infraction but then give it a special set of rules that makes the game easier. If we’re trying to increase scoring—and we should be—then a reasonably simple rule change to make it tougher to kill off a penalty seems like low-hanging fruit.

On the surface, it makes sense, but there are two problems with the concept. Let’s start with the obvious issue, one pointed out by at least one former NHLer: Most teams would probably just keep icing the puck anyway.

Today’s coaches are relentlessly conservative. It’s not hard to imagine them deciding that killing off 10 or 15 seconds of a two-minute minor is worth an occasional face-off in their own end. Sure, players would try to execute a 180-foot flip that would fall just short of the icing line, but coaches would probably be fine with taking the icing a man down, just as an increasing number of teams seem fine with it late in the game when the other team has its goalie pulled. And that would mean fans being treated to more whistles, more milling around the face-off circle, and less momentum.

The other issue is one that I’ve raised before: Efforts to increase scoring should be focused on changes that will help at five-on-five, too. That’s how most of the game is played, and we don’t want to train fans to sit around and wait for powerplays. There’s also the risk that officials who’ve been told for years not to decide a game will be even more reluctant to call penalties if they know that powerplays are more effective. It would likely be a small influence, but it could be enough to cancel out most of the offensive gains we’d otherwise see.

None of that means the NHL shouldn’t explore making the change. Maybe they will someday. But it’s not the slam dunk it should be for youth hockey, because in the NHL, the law of unintended consequences is always waiting just around the corner.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week’s obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we’ll get to that in a bit.

Brown was a useful piece for the Devils until 1993, when he signed with the Penguins as a free agent and got to play with his younger brother Greg. Like everyone else in the Mario Lemieux era, he had the best offensive season of his career in Pittsburgh, putting up 55 points. It wasn’t enough to keep him out of the following year’s waiver draft, where the Detroit Red Wings grabbed him.

As far as career highlights go, well, he scored the first playoff overtime goal in Devils’ history in 1988, and had two goals in the Red Wings’ Cup-clinching win in 1998. But let’s face it, none of those come close to being the best Doug Brown videos you can find on YouTube. Meet me in the next section.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

It’s tough time for the New Jersey Devils these days. The team is rebuilding. The team is rebuilding, they finished 27th last year, they may not be all that much better this year, and they just found out that Travis Zajac will miss a big chunk of the season. But hey, New Jersey fans can always look back on the glory days. No, not the three Stanley Cups. I mean the time the Devils were on General Hospital.

Yes, that actually happened. I’m sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let’s watch.

Our scene begins with several young nurses rushing in to volunteer for duty. Apparently “one of the hockey players” has been injured and is coming to the hospital for treatment. Given how excited everyone is, I bet it’s one of the team’s big stars like Kirk Muller or Sean Burke.

Nope, it’s our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That’s called synergy, kids.

Brown’s in the middle of his sophomore season, one that saw him post 25 points. That may not sound like much, but give the guy a break—as you can see, he was playing through a serious wrist injury that required a visit to the emergency room.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

At this point, things get a little awkward between Brown and one of the nurses. It’s very subtle, but if you can get past the porn soundtrack that starts playing in the background, it’s implied that they might be flirting.

So let’s address the elephant in the room: Why would you cast Doug Brown of all people in the starring role for this? It’s not like there weren’t any more famous Devils available, as we’ll see in a minute. But they went with Brown. Why? Here’s my best guess: He was the only player on the team who could string three words together. Seriously, have you ever seen hockey players try to act? It’s not pretty. The pantheon of everyone who has ever tried is basically Basil McCrae absolutely nailing it and then dozens of guys doing variations of this. You take what you can get.

“I’m counting my blessings,” says the nurse, before hanging a bright red “NO VISITORS” sign on the door. Like I said, it’s very subtle.

We skip ahead, as an elevator opens to reveal two gentlemen who look a lot like Ken Daneyko and John MacLean if you CGI’d hair onto their heads. It is indeed them, as pointed out by one of the off-duty nurses. She also makes sure to mention that MacLean made the All-Star team, while Daneyko just gets labeled as “the big guy.” Defensemen, man—they get no respect from anyone.

“I’ll drop my defenses for you anytime.” I think she likes them, you guys.

She also asks them how they skate backwards, but before Daneyko can answer, “Actually, it’s the 80s, so most of us still can’t,” Brown returns from his examination. “You guys should try to get on the injured list,” he tells them, before going in for a kiss on his nurse friend.

Can we just point out that Lou Lamoriello was running the Devils by this point? What do you think his reaction to all of this was? I think we may have found the genesis for his whole “never talk about injuries” policy.

The other nurses demand to know what happened in there, but Brown’s companion refuses to answer while, um, rubbing her throat. I guess we’ll never be able to crack the code. It will remain a mystery forever.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl’s Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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myipscrapbook · 7 years

Text

It takes form as you make it!

Below is an excerpt from my Independent Study reflection I wrote immediately after last semester, addressed to Hannah Smotrich, written May 14, 2017.

Thoughts on IP:

If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else.

- Yogi Berra

I like this quote because it makes me laugh, but also because it’s ambiguous. Read one way, it’s a quote about the merits of aiming for a goal and planning ahead. However, it doesn’t rule out the possibility that ending up somewhere else is a bad thing. “Somewhere else” might just be the best place to be– an unexpected destination, a pleasant surprise.

When I was in second grade, each of us in my class was given a small composition notebook. Our teacher told us to write a “never-ending story.” It may have been my first ever creative writing assignment. I wrote about some boy who had been sent into the future, and was trapped in a strange school with long hallways and mysterious doors. He was looking for a way back home. It was like a really amateur cross between Samurai Jack and The Phantom Tollbooth. It wasn’t so well written... But! I never forgot how exciting it was to make up an imaginary world as I went along.

Fast forward 13 years to three nights ago: I’ve just watched Spirited Away for the first time. I was amazed by the almost subconscious-style narrative. I found an interview with Hayao Miyazaki, and learned that Spirited Away and all other Miyazaki movies don’t work with a script, or even a completed storyboard. They just start with the seed of an idea. It gets completed as it gets made.

“I don't have the story finished and ready when we start work on a film. ... We never know where the story will go but we just keeping working on the film as it develops. ... It's not me who makes the film. The film makes itself and I have no choice but to follow.”

(In other words, It takes form as you make it.)

I couldn’t help but be reminded of my “never-ending story” from second grade. It reminded me of Boy and the World, another affecting animated film that I love that also happened to be developed in a similar way, organically. Over the Garden Wall, an animated miniseries I really enjoyed, also began without knowing where it was headed, and was led to unexpected and affecting places. It also reminds me of the subtle stories of author/illustrators Shaun Tan and Simon Stålenhag, who have both spoke on how their stories develop organically from the images they create.

Another quote that has been kicking around in my head all year: “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.” - Robert Frost. This is so true! Through revising my stories in my creative writing class, they all became something unexpected, and much better. The best part is, this quote applies to studio art as well! If I haven’t ended up somewhere surprising, I doubt it’ll surprise anyone else. (I promise, no more quotes.)

This whole philosophy reminds me of Methods of Inquiry, a class designed around the idea that projects take form as you make them. In particular, it reminded me of the “Finding Time” assignment, common across all sections. The idea: spend 15 minutes every day doing a task of your choosing. I already had skills at observational drawing, but I wanted to develop my skills at drawing from imagination. So, every day, I drew an everyday setting from observation, but added in an element from my imagination. At the end of the semester, I had dozens of strange images and I didn’t know what to do with them. They all seemed as though they belonged to the same universe. It struck me that they became better when attached to captions that added new meaning, and that surprise led me to the thought that they all could coexist as photos for fake newspaper articles. The “Michigan Daily” parody “The Michigan Times” was born. The project continues as a recurring cartoon in the actual Michigan Daily.

What I loved about this project is that I never would have thought to make a fictional newspaper from the start. The process informed the product; it told me what it wanted to be. This was incredibly rewarding, not only as a process, but as a final product that people seemed to really enjoy. There are many projects, especially from my freshman year, that were founded by creative constraints, and didn’t know where they were going, and were better for it. My Aphasia book. My video portrait of my neighbor Pete. My documentary of the Detroit Observatory. My audio stories from Stephanie Rowden’s classes. My personal essays for other classes.

What ties all these projects together? They were worlds created through vulnerable creative effort, and the final product was unexpected but satisfying. They were all projects that didn’t know where they were going, so they ended up somewhere else.

This leads me to my independent study project, the linguistics book. It was quite the opposite; it knew where it was going from the start, and the semester was spent in the effort of getting there. Unlike those other worlds of imagination, it was backed up by the ‘credibility’ of an academic subject. (Would an IP project unbound by academic/scientific research still feel “legitimate?” I mean, sure, right?) But the thing is, I hid behind that credibility, whether or not I realized it at the time, as evidenced by how much time I spent finessing the script and avoiding the visuals... In other words, I hid from the creatively vulnerable imaginative part of the assignment, even though that was the place where working felt most rewarding.1

( THIS IS NOT TO SAY having a destination in mind from the outset is a bad thing. I've had many projects in the past where I knew what I wanted to do from the start, and sweated over getting it as close as possible to that place over the time I had. I once made a complicated origami style stool based on an inch-tall paper model. Getting the math right was hell. It was similar to getting the linguistics right for this project. In both cases, by the end, I had a good final product– not perfect, but good. Maybe with an extra week or so of solid effort, I’ll have a good imperfect book-draft. So, aiming for goals is good, but it’s pointless and even detrimental to meticulously plan everything in advance. )

This is all to make a distinction: Internal vs External Motivations. Making an interdisciplinary project made ‘credible’ by its subject matter? That’s externally motivated. Making an engaging dialogue with fun illustrations that “bring up the nuttiness”? That’s internally motivated. This project was a bit of both, and that’s good– but it’s clear to me that I should take a real moment and listen to my gut here before deciding what project I want to do for IP.

It brings to mind my sophomore review, in which the panel of teachers (including yourself) advised me to take a creative writing class. I was not listening to my gut. You three could tell that I had been denying a creative writing class from myself because it didn’t seem “legitimate” enough. (This was BS, and deep down I knew it. I’m still thankful you three called me out on it.) Taking a creative writing class was one of the best decisions I made this academic year. I can’t explain how validating it felt to just be in a room with 20 other people all invested in helping each other make better stories, no matter what stories they may be. There was never any putting people down for writing imaginatively– if anything, risks taken were rewarded. It was a great class. I even applied for a creative writing minor after the class, and was accepted, all in order to take the next level creative writing class this semester.

However, in order to fulfill my studio requirement for IP, I had to take 3 studio classes this semester, and the creative writing class was cut from my schedule for the sake of this independent study. To be honest, I’m not even sure if I qualify for a creative writing minor anymore because of that. I need to check. All this to say, this independent study WAS my creative writing class. That is how I treated it, and that is how I justified skirting my creative writing minor.

So: I think it’s clear that my gut wants me to involve creative writing or literature of some sort in my IP project. And it’s clear to me that the more time spent in the scary vulnerable place of illustration and visuals, the better. I can’t hide behind academic research and second guessing technical points. I have to just throw myself at experimentation, because that would be the healthiest thing for me to do. My IP project should aim to be similar to the philosophy of Methods of Inquiry. I should let things evolve by making, not by planning every bit in advance. I should let the process guide the product, whatever that may mean. This much I know. Constrained creativity + time = unexpected end result. Something like that.

The best part is, this leaves room for the possibility that I could continue this project into IP... and it allows for any number of other possibilities. I’m satisfied leaving it there for now.

Thanks so much again for all your time and your help,

– Joe Iovino

If I may, here’s part of Hannah’s email response to me:

“Thank you for your reflection -- it sounds as if you've discovered some really important truths for yourself. Now you just have to prioritize following your own advice! For real.”

So that’s what I’ll try to do.

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junker-town · 7 years

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Eddie Lacy says the Packers want him back, but he could land almost anywhere in 2017

The Packers back is a beast ... when he’s fit and healthy.

The Packers rarely make major free agent headlines, but the storied franchise will have a major decision to make in 2017. Just what will Green Bay do about Eddie Lacy?

The former second-round pick is slated to hit the free agent market after playing out his rookie contract in Wisconsin. The Pro Bowl tailback is just 26 years old and has averaged a solid 4.4 yards per carry in his four-year career, but has also made just 17 starts over the past two years. Last fall, he saw his role taken over by a converted wide receiver during the team’s run to the NFC Championship.

When healthy, Lacy has the potential to be a game-changer — but are the Packers willing to justify a big contract for a player who has raised more questions than he’s answered the past two years? And if not them, then who?

The burly tailback burst into the NFL zeitgeist as a rookie in 2013, rushing for nearly 1,200 yards and 11 touchdowns as the Packers won the NFC North. He was similarly impactful the following year, upping his yards per carry and cracking the 1,100-yard barrier for the second straight season.

But just as it appeared Green Bay had a franchise tailback on the roster, questions about Lacy’s commitment and effectiveness began to surface. His weight ballooned heading into the 2015 season, raising concerns about his conditioning that proved reasonable as the season wore down. He gained just 117 yards — 3.25 per carry -- in the final three games of the season before rebounding for a pair of solid performances in the playoffs.

He was limited to only five games last fall as an ankle injury kept him from the field. His absence left the Packers with a major hole at tailback; one eventually plugged by a receiver and a guy who little regarded the tailback-needy Seahawks cut him midseason. The combination of Ty Montgomery and Christine Michael proved sufficient to fill Lacy’s shoes — the pair ran for 5.3 yards per carry to provide a potent counterbalance to Aaron Rodgers’ passing attack.

Despite Montgomery’s emergence, Lacy is optimistic about his chances to remain in Wisconsin.

“Talking to my agent, the Packers have been very vocal about having me back there,” Lacy told ESPN’s Adam Schefter. “I feel as though I can run in any offense; the more downhill, the better.”

Head coach Mike McCarthy echoed that sentiment at the NFL Draft Combine.

McCarthy says #Packers would love to have Eddie Lacy back. #NFLCombine

— Green Bay Packers (@packers) March 1, 2017

Concerns about Lacy’s weight may be overblown, but questions about his ability to be the kind of player who can handle 20 carries every Sunday may not be. He’s run the ball fewer than 14 times per game over the past two seasons, transitioning from rising star to possible platoon back in the process. He’s also been less useful in the red zone over that span; after rushing for 20 touchdowns in his first two seasons (one every 26.5 carries), he’s recorded only three the last two years (one in 85).

Still, he’s an intriguing talent with a history of success and a combination of skills that allows him to make people miss or just bowl over defenders. Here’s who could be interested in his services this spring.

Green Bay Packers

Montgomery and Michael were a solid stopgap solution, but Michael is an unrestricted free agent and Montgomery could struggle now that opposing defenses know what to expect from him. With James Starks officially gone, Green Bay will bring in at least one running back this offseason, and Lacy could be the call if the price is right. Head coach Mike McCarthy knows how dangerous the bruising runner can be when he’s healthy — but he also knows the headache he creates when he’s not.

Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings can jab at their division rivals by bringing in Lacy, though they’d have to release Adrian Peterson and his $18 million cap hit first. Minnesota’s backs averaged a league-worst 3.2 yards per carry last season, giving Sam Bradford little relief for a struggling offense. Bringing in Lacy would be an instant upgrade — but so would a healthy Peterson.

New York Giants

Finishing just ahead of the Vikings in terms of yards per touch were the Giants, who have already jettisoned veteran Rashad Jennings this offseason. New York went with a platoon approach last fall and struggled, putting the clamps on an otherwise impressive 11-5 season. Lacy could help, but second-year back Paul Perkins is primed to step into a leading role after finishing the 2016 season on a high note. Bringing in a back like Lacy could adversely affect his development.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tampa is expected to cut Doug Martin and his $5.7 million cap hit this offseason, leaving a big hole in the lineup next to Jameis Winston. Martin was impressively ineffective last season, rushing for just 2.9 yards per carry on a team with few other reliable options at tailback. Lacy would legitimize the Bucs’ rushing attack and take some pressure from Winston’s shoulders in the process.

Denver Broncos

Devontae Booker may be due for a strong sophomore campaign, but the Broncos got little production from their tailbacks in 2016. An ineffective platoon of Booker, C.J. Anderson, Justin Forsett, and Kapri Bibbs failed to present a credible threat last fall, making things more difficult for young quarterbacks Trevor Siemian and Paxton Lynch. Lacy could help — though bringing a player with conditioning concerns to the thin air of Mile High Stadium may not be a great combination.

Detroit Lions

The Lions haven’t had a 1,000-yard rusher since Kevin Jones in 2004 and currently have just $5 million locked up in running back salaries for 2017. Detroit has favored a platoon attack in recent years, which could make sense for Lacy; he has run well with limited touches and could be a fourth-quarter beast against tiring defenses. However, if the talented back is holding out for a starring role, a trip to his former division rival may not make sense.

Indianapolis Colts

Former general manager Ryan Grigson’s strategy of bringing in veterans on the wrong side of age 30 led to his ouster, but his decision to pick up Frank Gore actually worked out for the franchise. Gore ran for more than 1,000 yards last season, but has one year left on his contract and will be 34 years old in May. Indianapolis needs help at tailback, and bringing in Lacy could give the team a hard-to-tackle tandem next fall and serve as an audition to be the team’s true No. 1 back down the road.

New York Jets

The Jets’ primary tailback last season was 31-year-old Matt Forte, who struggled to regain the form that made him a star in Chicago. Bilal Powell did a great job sharing carries — his 722 yards were a career high — but bringing in Lacy could give New York a power back to add a new dimension to a struggling offense. However, with more than $10 million tied up in tailbacks for 2017 and holes throughout the roster, spending big on another runner may not be the wisest decision.

New England Patriots

If LeGarrette Blount doesn’t re-sign with the team and Lacy’s price drops, the Patriots could turn to the former Packer to be their new bruising tailback. Head coach Bill Belichick likes backs who can catch the ball — James White and Dion Lewis immediately come to mind — and Lacy has always been an underrated receiver. New England has fewer than $3 million locked up in running back salaries next fall, but may prefer to stick with Blount or roll the dice in the draft instead.

Carolina Panthers

Carolina is expected to release longtime veteran Jonathan Stewart and his $8.25 million cap hit this spring, leaving room to add an impact runner to the roster. The Panthers probably aren’t ready to hand the reins over to Fozzy Whittaker and Cameron Artis-Payne just yet, so expect them to be active in free agency and the draft in hopes of putting a forgettable 2016 in the rear view.

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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flauntpage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic

Three Stars of Comedy

(By the way, this is the second time in Grab Bag history that one person has swept all three stars with one shot. Go ahead and guess who the other one was.)

Outrage of the Week

The outrage: Wow, that seems high.

So yes, the deal is way too high. But also: No, it isn't.

When you're going after the big bucks. Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL USA Hockey Actually Got Something Right

Now on to the bigger question: Should the NHL follow suit?

"I volunteer." Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Obscure Former Player of the Week

This week's obscure player is winger Doug Brown because, well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Yes, that actually happened. I'm sure it will be good wholesome fun for the whole family. Let's watch.

Nope, it's our old friend Doug Brown. See how these sections all link together? That's called synergy, kids.

Can we just point out that Brown is walking around in full uniform?

"I'm counting my blessings," says the nurse, before hanging a bright red "NO VISITORS" sign on the door. Like I said, it's very subtle.

"I'll drop my defenses for you anytime." I think she likes them, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Draisaitl's Deal, Icing the Rules, and the Devils Get Dramatic published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

junker-town · 7 years

Text

Eddie Lacy says the Packers want him back, but he could land almost anywhere in 2017

The Packers back is a beast ... when he’s fit and healthy.

The Packers rarely make major free agent headlines, but the storied franchise will have a major decision to make in 2017. Just what will Green Bay do about Eddie Lacy?

The burly tailback burst into the NFL zeitgeist as a rookie in 2013, rushing for nearly 1,200 yards and 11 touchdowns as the Packers won the NFC North. He was similarly impactful the following year, upping his yards-per-carry and cracking the 1,100-yard barrier for the second straight season.

Despite Montgomery’s emergence, Lacy is optimistic about his chances to remain in Wisconsin.

Concerns about Lacy’s weight may be overblown, but questions about his ability to be the kind of player who can handle 20 carries every Sunday may not be. He’s run the ball fewer than 13 times per game the past two seasons, transitioning from rising star to possible platoon back in the process. He’s also been less useful in the red zone over that span; after rushing for 20 touchdowns in his first two seasons (one every 26.5 carries), he’s recorded only three the last two years (one in 85).

Green Bay Packers

Montgomery and Michael were a solid stopgap solution, but Michael is an unrestricted free agent and Montgomery could struggle now that opposing defenses know what to expect from him. With James Starks officially gone, Green Bay will bring in at least one running back this offseason, and Lacy could be the call if the price is right. Head coach Mike McCarthy knows how dangerous the bruising runner can be when he’s healthy -- but he also knows the headache he creates when he’s not.

Minnesota Vikings

New York Giants

Finishing just ahead of the Vikings in terms of yards-per-touch were the Giants, who have already jettisoned veteran Rashad Jennings this offseason. New York went with a platoon approach last fall and struggled, putting the clamps on an otherwise impressive 11-5 season. Lacy could help, but second-year back Paul Perkins is primed to step into a leading role after finishing the 2016 season on a high note. Bringing in a back like Lacy could adversely affect his development.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Denver Broncos

Detroit Lions

The Lions haven’t had a 1,000-yard rusher since Kevin Jones in 2004 and currently have just $5 million locked up in running back salaries for 2017. Detroit has favored a platoon attack in recent years, which could make sense for Lacy; he has run well with limited touches and could be a fourth quarter beast against tiring defenses. However, if the talented back is holding out for a starring role, a trip to his former division rival may not make sense.

Indianapolis Colts

Former general manager Ryan Grigson’s strategy of bringing in veterans on the wrong side of age 30 led to his ouster, but his decision to pick up Frank Gore actually worked out for the franchise. Gore ran for more than 1,000 yards last season, but has one year left on his contract and will be 34 years old in 2017. Indianapolis needs help at tailback, and bringing in Lacy could give the team a hard-to-tackle tandem next fall and serve as an audition to be the team’s true No. 1 back down the road.

New York Jets

New England Patriots

If LeGarrette Blount doesn’t re-sign with the team and Lacy’s price drops, the Patriots could turn to the former Packer to be their new bruising tailback. Head coach Bill Belichick likes backs who can catch the ball -- James White and Dion Lewis immediately come to mind — and Lacy has always been an underrated receiver. New England has fewer than $3 million locked up in running back salaries next fall, but may prefer to stick with Blount or roll the dice in the draft instead.

Carolina Panthers

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