#kairi deserved better I will die on this hill

[petrolstationflowers]

Lea misses the blazing heat of midsummer. He wonders if he puts his hands around Sora’s neck, he’ll feel that white hot light underneath the teenager's skin, waiting to burst free.

(or, before the events of 3, Lea looks at Sora and sees the negative space instead)

[oveliagirlhaditright]

The Best Laid Plans

-reposting from my old account-

Summary: As Sora attempts to find Kairi’s heart at the end of Kingdom Hearts III, images of Kairi herself seem to attack him--punishment, Sora thinks, for letting her die--and as he gets closer and closer to her heart platform, memories of her (and past mistakes of his there) begin to play as Sora tortures himself, but not all is what it seems.

A.K.A. My version of Sora finding and saving Kairi at the end of KHIII.

(And sorry if any of my Italics disappeared. For that reason, you might want to read on fanfiction, AO3, dA, or Pillowfort instead).

Sora's PoV

The first thing Sora noticed—when he started doing a dive towards Kairi's heart platforms, was how this time around... there seemed to be massive boulders everywhere:

Something that reminded Sora of his fight with Lexaeus, back at the Cavern of Remembrance.

And as Sora got closer to the stained glass, he had to swerve this way and that to avoid running into the falling rocks... that seemed to go more concave the closer Sora got to them?

But even with those trying to obscure him from the truth, Sora entered a dream of Kairi's—it was the best way he could put it—and instantly realized what memory it was. He hadn't recalled it until now, because he'd been so young when it had happened... And maybe part of Sora had even blocked the memory, but...

He and Kairi had been okay the first two times they'd met when they were five:

When Sora had been the first one to find after she had washed up on Destiny Islands, and then the first time he and Riku had talked to her at the mayor's house.

But after that... things had gone down hill for them pretty quickly—because Kairi had done something that bothered Sora, and he had blown it way out of proportion like children did:

Kairi, in playing with some of her girl friends, had teasingly wanted to put chalk onto Sora's face to emulate makeup: And this was since Sora had cost them a point in the Jeopardy game at school, so the girls had playfully wanted to get back at him.

And all of that had hurt Sora so much, that he'd begun hating Kairi for it:

It hadn't been a "hate" that had been too bad—as they had just been kids. And even now, Sora didn't think he had it in him to ever truly be bad to someone… but he'd still ignored her and given her the cold shoulder, whenever she was around for a year.

It got to a point, where Kairi—now heartbroken herself—had stood on a rock in the sea, begging the waves to take her.

And it was just when the waves were touching Kairi's feet, that the Sora of the past literally sprung into action.

Sora jumped to where Kairi was...

But as a kid who still didn't know how to control his own strength, he almost overshot and tripped on the rock that Kairi stood on and into the water.

But he didn't.

Instead, Sora hugged Kairi to protect her from wavelets coming her way—that had been so beautiful, in their most terrifying way—and apologized amidst tears that were running down his own cheeks.

"Sorry, Kairi… Be my friend?"

Kairi looked up at Sora with wide eyes then: wise beyond her years, Sora saw now, and just a bit untrusting after all the things she'd already seen. "Why would you want that?" Kairi had questioned with both hands behind her back, in her iconic gesture.

At that, Sora didn't answer. Instead, he just picked Kairi up into his arms, and tried to gracefully jump with her… but face-planted them both into the sand.

'Oh well. That was bad. But she won't drown.' Young Sora had thought then. And Sora heard it again in his head now, and he couldn't help but smile for it. Apparently, he actually hadn't been too inarticulate with his feelings back in the day. "I found ya, Kairi… So we should be friends."

Oh, and that was even better! Current Sora thought, near chuckling.

It felt… good, in some ways, to see this. Even if seeing Kairi was literally a stab to the heart.

At first, Past Sora's words didn't seem like they were enough for Kairi. She had even been about to storm off, Sora had been able to tell.

But she turned around just once—and surprisingly put her hand into her future significant other's, and said: "A chance, it is."

Then, she began leading the two of them away:

Towards the secret place, that she would later tell Sora she'd just noticed that day… but had needed a brave boy to go in with, since she was a bit scared.

And in trying to make things up to Kairi, Sora would begin drawing on the cave walls for her that day, and that… Well, that would be the start of everything.

Out of the memory now, and back on the platform—having been removed gently, the way he had been when Kairi had once deemed he'd seen enough of her memory about her grandma—Sora found that he suddenly felt… depressed. And right now, for one reason in particular:

"…I've hurt you in the past. Huh, Kairi? …We didn't have a concept of death back then. But gods. You almost committed suicide over me when we were five. Thankfully, that's the worst of it. And to save you… I'm maybe going to have to face all of this hurt. But I'm ready."

Having said that, it threw Sora off when Nightmares that looked like metallic versions of Kairi came flying his way.

If he'd, perhaps, undone Kairi's pain here—which was what Sora was assuming was happening here, and how he'd free her—shouldn't these Nightmares have vacated the premises?

And the way that they looked—now even with fan sharp wings that sliced his face as they came boy—Sora expected them to be some of the toughest enemies he'd ever had to face… but they weren't.

They were tough, in that most of his spells and attacks didn't work on them...

Except for the quake spell he'd used in his time trying to save Naminé..

Though it had been a struggle-and-a-half trying to even reclaim that memory to do so.

But Sora had guessed that that would be the only way to stop them, as there had been boulders before this, and such in Kairi's memory that he'd just seen

And he'd been right.

So—more than just using his Keyblade for this fight—Sora had summoned that magic to him… and had nearly allowed it to give him a heart attack.

That was always how that spell seemed to feel—as it seemed to explode out of Sora, just as it pulled stones from the ground to throw at everything.

That being said—and though Sora was glad to have eliminated one more thing that had been in his way—it killed him to see the rocks tear at Kairi so mercilessly.

But fortunately, Sora didn't have to witness it for long: They were gone just like that, and it was like marks being cleaned from a slate.

But what was too much for Sora, however, was when he realized he'd somehow just accidentally cut his hand with the Keyblade.

His hand, that had—stupidly—only reluctantly shared a paopu fruit with Kairi.

And for that, he deserved whatever was done to his body.

And this hell as a whole.

But just when Sora was done with this nightmare—and thought he might be one step closer to Kairi's Light—he felt a laser slice through his shoulder, the way numerous ones of Xigbar's had in the past, when he hadn't dodged them properly.

And Sora winced in pain... It had been a while since something this minuscule had harmed him, and in some ways he'd forgotten what a fine-toothed-comb such a touch could be.

But what had done this to him? For that, Sora had no answer.

It hadn't been the Nightmares or Kairi, so what did that me-

But before Sora could finish the thought, he found himself being pulled back down to more of Kairi's Station of Awakenings.

And this time, it looked like he had a choice on which one to go to:

He could either go to the one when she was thirteen—evidenced by the fact that that had been the first and only year Kairi had worn her hair so big—or to her twelve-year-old one, where she and Sora had gone to the Sadie Hawkins Dance together.

Relishing in the fact that none of these would be as bad as how he'd treated Kairi when they were children, Sora began diving with his eyes closed—blindly—and let his heart do the rest.

The hair one, it was.

And when Sora hovered over the scene, like a ghost, he tried to figure out what had been significant about this one… and why Kairi had chosen to try and be a trendsetter that way.

And then it all hit him like a ton of bricks..

Right. This was when Kairi had been obsessed with Queen.

And she'd tried being beautiful in another way, going totally '80s, in wandering if Freddie—who thought everyone was gorgeous—would think she was when she looked like this.

…Though Sora still wondered if there'd been more to it than even that.

Also? This had been one of the few fall-outs between Riku and Kairi, during the three's long journey as friends… Because Riku had had some issue with Queen, or Kairi liking Queen, and it still made no sense to Sora.

And yet for one day, he'd been on Riku's side about it.

Sora had been okay with Kairi changing her hair every year. It had just been her thing. But when she brought clothing alteration, and a different attitude into it some, that had been too odd for Sora.

He'd also agreed with Riku, that 80's music really didn't scream Kairi.

...But then Sora had seen how happy Kairi was playing this part—and the present day Sora, giving this a once-over again, saw it now—and had been unable to turn away from this side of her anymore.

And if Sora had fallen for the song "Love of My Life" because of her, he wasn't complaining.

"Kairi, what are you doing?" Past Sora still finally asked, however.

And if Keyblade-wielder-Sora was right about it, this was their last day of school in eighth grade—a day in which everyone could go to the amusement park with their class, or stay home and do whatever.

Most had chosen the former—including Sora and Riku themselves—but Kairi, for whatever reason, had chosen to stay home.

And the current Sora now knew why, because Kairi had eventually explained it to him, but the Sora in the memory didn't.

The answer? Eventually, Kairi had begun to feel bad about the money the mayor and his wife had spent on her after adopting her. So her not going on this adventure, was her way of giving them one less expense when it came to her.

She was being selfless, like Kairi so often was, but Sora knew she'd also enjoyed staying home and enjoying her 80'-esques stuff: She'd even been about to watch "Grease" when he'd shown up. But still… Even if he had been figuring that out, Sora had still had to ask her.

"I don't know, Sora," she'd admitted at last, as she fell onto her neon green bed and gave him a look. "I guess I'm just confused about me

"But if I am myself, in going to the amusement park like I want to, my parents lose out. So the best option is to do nothing, and just be."

And even if Sora knew that this had been past Kairi talking to his past self… Some of this sounded so much like how he'd felt—in pondering what he should do, since so many personalities in him weren't his own—that present day Sora couldn't help reaching out for Kairi now… And having his hand pass through his cheek as he did so.

Well, if he couldn't reach her—yet!—he'd at least try and give Kairi his words. And just as Keyblade-wielder Sora began speaking, so did the thirteen-year-old Sora.

And if it had been his thirteen-year-old self who had said this—or him now, through some sort of time paradox—Sora didn't know, but he was glad for the poetic words he'd selected all the same.

"Kairi... know that you should always try to be yourself, and everything else will fall into place."

Kairi looked at Sora then—with a look he couldn't quite fathom-but now that he knew what her expressions of love looked like, he thought this might have been the beginning of that.

And a long moment then passed, as Kairi picked her teddy bear up from her bed, clutched it to her chest, and then seemed about to give it to Sora before thinking better of it?

Eventually, she did find her voice again—as she looked at Sora wide-eyed, once again—and tried to reach for his hand.

And it was so much like what he'd just tried to do to her, that Sora couldn't help gasping for it… and even louder, as he carried it over, when her words did reach him now. "Thank you, Sora... It means a lot, and I really needed to hear that.

"I guess… sometimes I get stuck in my own heart? After getting to the Islands sort of traumatically? … So it's nice that you're here, to get me unstuck?"

Later, Sora would realize this was some of the most serious he'd ever seen Kairi: she was bright and energetic usually, so this must have been a blight on her otherwise flawless record that should have stood out to him.

And it definitely had back then… though not necessarily in a bad way.

But now that Sora knew Kairi was aware of some stuff about her grandma… and yet didn't know Aqua because of her trauma—and how it bothered her—Sora tried to decide if he should have found a better way to engage about her past even back here.

But still… even with that, Sora was pretty thrilled with how this memory ended:

"I'm only happy to help, Kairi! I swear." And he pinky promised with her, in a way that Naminé, perhaps, had been jealous of.

As Sora came to again-…into into Darkness?! What was this that he was seeing?!—he saw that there were times he certainly could have taken better care of Kairi.

And he tried not to vilify himself for it, since no one was perfect and more than anything he'd always tried to be perfect for Kairi…

But the more Sora thought about it, the more he hated himself:

Because there had been the times in the past where he'd been a jerk, in just being a clueless kid, sure, but adding that to all the times he'd recently left her... And how she'd just died because of his failure and lack of being able to keep a promise...

Well, Sora thought he deserved these Kairi Nightmares that were now going through him like ghosts—and literally trying to rip his heart out as they pulled him further into the Darkness… that it, too, was somehow edged like wings.

And Sora couldn't help laughing maniacally at this. It all hurt. Bad:

Like the physical manifestation of all of your friends forgetting you and never remembering, but for real this time. And it was worse, in that Kairi—of all people—was the one doing this to him!

And so lost was Sora in the pain and guilt he felt, as one of the strings attaching his heart to his soul was ripped, that he didn't at first realize he'd reached another platform.

And this one… This one was a stage where Kairi was obsessed with dying her hair, a weary Sora saw.

Funny, how Kairi had done so much with her hair and Sora never caught it before.

He wanted to loathe himself for that, too.

But maybe safe in this space, that was clearly the corner of Kairi's heart… Maybe he couldn't.

This time, the two of them were fourteen.

And at a hair salon, as opposed to in Kairi's room.

Past Sora was giving the impression that he'd only come to this with Kairi, because her adopted grandma had bailed on their usual routine and he hadn't wanted to leave her alone.

But nope.

The truth was, that this was Kairi's birthday. And since Kairi hadn't been sure what she wanted to do, Sora and Riku had just planned to shock Kairi with a surprise party here. Riku had gone to get all of the supplies they needed, so that left Sora to throw Kairi off the scent. "Kairi… I can't tell: Is your hair more red and you add brown to it, or more brown and you add red to it? And whichever the case... And why not just keep it its natural color?"

Kairi leaned up from the sink her hair had been washing in, and smiled wickedly at Sora. "You'll never know, my friend. And because dying it is all the rage now."

And oh man, did Sora regret now that he'd seemed to indicate he minded what Kairi did to her hair.

He, to his own ears, had sounded too much like a possessive boyfriend who dictated everything his girlfriend did.

But then again—the Sora of the present now realized, as Kairi was clearly happy having a good time—maybe he'd over thought it.

Besides, his mission back then had succeeded. Hadn't it? He'd kept Kairi from figuring out her birthday, right?

Kairi seemed about to say something else then, but Riku surprised her—and even Sora, who should have known better—when he thundered into the room with candy bar after candy bar and blew a party horn in their favorite redhead's face.

"Happy birthday, Kairi! We were gonna do this the normal way, with a cake and all, but then we figured you'd instead might wanna emulate buying candy bar after candy bar here with your grandma. So, that it is. This is our cake."

And Kairi had been so endeared by their gesture, that she'd actually told the barber she didn't need the blonde streaks after all, and was all done.

And jumping up from her seat with a wet head and everything, Kairi had hugged both Sora and Riku tightly. And it was still the best hug Sora had ever gotten—something that made him blush even now, to think about.

And Becky, the owner of the salon, informed Kairi that it was fine for her to cut their plans for her hair short, and motioned for her to go run all over the little hall with the vending machine that Riku was referencing with the candy bars.

A young Kairi—according to her, anyway—had run all down this hall, connecting to other buildings, with her grandma when she was young. But most of all, she'd always stop at the vending machine and have treat after treat given to her.

So, that's what they'd planned to do for her birthday.

And Sora, Riku, and Kairi hadn't needed to be told twice.

The boys, being kind to their gal friend, gave her their jackets to her—so she wouldn't catch Pneumonia with her wet head—and then headed to said hall.

When they came to the end of it-where a table and chairs were—the trio sat down and grabbed a magazine each: having the same thought that this would be the only thing to really entertain them here.

And the hero Sora, who walked with them, almost wished he could grab one himself. Because when was the last time he'd done any pastime like this?

But back to the memory:

Fortunately, even though this had been a place just for girls, there were enough guy things in these magazines that Sora and Riku could keep themselves occupied with them.

Sora now recollected, as he smiled widely—one of the few times he had since Kairi's death—that he'd been taking a quiz to see if he was Pecan or Rocky Road ice cream here…But Riku ended up distracting that thought when he spoke.

"So, are you happy to be fourteen?" Riku had queried, as he'd suddenly pulled out a large piece of gum and looked like he was trying to find a way to slice it into three pieces: as their true substitute cake.

And before Kairi had given her answer, Sora had tried to guess if she'd try to look at this in some eloquent way—or find something in her mind that explained how she had already changed—but she just shrugged it off, and explained it like it was:

"I don't feel any different yet, actually."

Present Sora could get why she'd say this. Because… really? Each birthday wasn't monumental, you found out as you got older. As time seemed to blur, and you realized there was no reason to fear the future—like there wasn't for him now—but the young him had been somewhat… saddened, that Kairi seemed to indicate there'd be no instant magic when he turned fourteen after her.

But that wasn't what mattered now… No, what mattered now was Kairi. And maybe it had always been Kairi, as Sora had told his friends before using the Power of Waking once more.

And Kairi in this montage, was now putting her hands on both Sora's and Riku's shoulders as she questioned the obvious:

"So I have to know. What inspired you guys to have my birthday party here? Not that I'm complaining!"

And even now—as Sora thought strongly about trying to embrace the past Kairi this time… though he knew that wouldn't work any more than trying to touch her cheek had—Sora barely knew the answer to that question:

Had it been because they thought Kairi would want a break from the hustle and bustle the mayor would have been doing for her birthday, or to try and get her ready for the more mundane ones she, and they, would have in the future?

Or, actually... Sora's past self had known the true answer, huh? And somehow the current one had already forgotten it… and that scared him terribly.

"Because we couldn't wait to spend time with you. So with you to your hair appointment, we went!"

And the clip show faded away, as the three of them each got a piece of gum.

And since that memory had been what dreams were made of… Sora had thought maybe he was on the right track with this healing thing, and that he'd faced the last of the Nightmare Kairis.

But the fact that it wasn't, and they attacked him relentlessly—five slicing his chest with blades, two biting his neck, and three pulling his arm behind his back, and the last slamming his face into the next glass before he could go into it—should have been his first sign that something was wrong.

Darkness! There was so much Darkness, that Sora couldn't see anything. And he was as afraid as he had been on that night of fate, what felt like so long ago.

But this Darkness couldn't have been… Kairi's.

So whose was it?

From the get-go—even though Sora has thought his astral body had been separated from his physical one during his visits into Kairi's memories, so he couldn't feel the pain from the Kairi Nightmares in the visions—Sora felt his heart laboring in his chest, and his sight tunneling.

Though if it was from what he'd been through here, or because he was dying from using the Power of Waking, he didn't know.

Oh.

It was this… disgusting memory. (Wait, what?)

The one where Kairi had been over at Sora's after he'd gotten back from his quest...

And she had a knife to her stomach—acting like she was about to try and cut off one of the rolls on her stomach, before she laughed it off.

Combined together now—the astral and the physical, as they began to faint—both Soras started to tell Kairi that she didn't have to do that, and she was beautiful!

But the present Sora never got to say that she was that.

Instead, he was violently pulled from… this as an army of Sora Nightmares dived at him.

He helplessly raised his Keyblade against them, the way he had the Dusks that he'd first faced... but he knew it wouldn't be enough.

But then she appeared.

"Sora, silly, don't you remember? That wasn't about me trying to mutilate myself at all. I was just holding that knife to cut the big cookie we were going to eat. And I was also holding a water bottle then, and the knife accidentally punctured it... We then joked my water broke. And even back then, I was sort of wishing it would... with a child of yours in the future.

"Sora, you're so ashamed of yourself for... not protecting me, that you're effecting my heart and making your own phantoms attack you. These Nightmares were always yours, not mine. And for that reason, you're seeing the memories where you think you should've been a better boyfriend to me… And it's so bad, that some have even begun to lie to you.

"But you shouldn't feel this way. My death was my fault. All mine... You shouldn't be here, but now I'll protect you!"

And just when Sora had needed it, Kairi had created a barrier to protect him.

And Kairi washed these Nightmares in so much of her Light—that this fractured part of Sora's heart returned to him peacefully, as if it was a missing puzzle piece.

And for a moment, he breathed evenly again.

It was then that Sora started crying, as he held onto Kairi's hands once more: and thank the gods, that he was doing this!

"Kairi, I'm so sorry!" Sora exclaimed, knowing full well how doomed this all was. And really, he'd always known.

Because even if Kairi had recompleted herself and could make it back to the surface now, they were still chosen for tragedy and could never be together.

And as if fate got a kick out of torturing him, now that he'd found the one that mattered most—the one he'd done all of this for—he was already fading away.

First, she might as well have faded in her memories when he'd tried to touch her. And now this.

But Sora didn't care, so long as Kairi was okay.

And was she after what Xehanort had done to her? Sora wasn't too sure.

For one thing, he imagined she'd always have a long gash down her back that would never heal, and he hated it hated it hated it!

"I did fail you," Sora assured his princess, as he again looked into the large, expressive eyes that had made him love her. If only he could have gotten lost in them… and not in death.

"I promised that I'd protect you, and I didn't! You had to die the worst death I've ever seen for... for no reason! And I didn't even get to help you recomplete yourself. I guess I dove into your heart for no reason, and-"

At this point, as he rambled onto a point where he just began stuttering, Kairi just hugged Sora as her astral form pulled him out of her heart. And in some mysterious way, her having done that led their physical bodies into pecking each other's lips.

It was their first kiss, and it was sweet as could be—Sora even thought he was probably doing the foot popping thing, and he felt like he was flying in Neverland again-but it couldn't last, and Sora was starting to find how bittersweet the world could be.

But breaking away—probably because she didn't want their first real kiss to be like this—Kairi had to say her piece, about Sora having not used the Power wrong to save her like he had with everyone else.

"I'm glad you didn't, Sora. As a Princess of Heart... God, I know things! ...I didn't at the time… But I know what the task I carelessly put on your shoulders, of saving everyone, cost you. So I'm selfishly glad I won't be more responsible for… this than I already am."

Sora knew he should have been saying something to Kairi's own self-loathing now—he was aware of it with every fiber of his being—but he didn't.

Because Kairi had been right about one thing: Sora had been torturing himself about her a little too much, and that was what had led to this precarious situation he'd just been in a moment ago.

So, maybe he didn't always have to jump in to save Kairi, and to think the worst of himself while doing so.

The heart was so many emotions—as Sora had always been quick to tell anyone—and negative emotions came with that, too.

Maybe he should let her pain be hers, and his his… But that didn't mean they couldn't try to lessen it, either.

"So, what now?" Sora begged, as he found himself leaning his forehead against Kairi's, like he'd dreamt of doing for so long.

How great it felt to actually be able to touch her again! If only for a while…

And perchance he really was starting to lose it, because even though Sora knew his time was nearly up...

He was giddy that he had been able to find Kairi, and they could finally be together where there were no lies. Even one second longer that he would have had to wait for this, really would have been too long.

In the natural world now, and in Sora and Kairi's hearts, the sun was coming up and it was time to face whatever the morning brought with it.

"We go back to the place we made our vow, and pray for a better ending... my love," was Kairi's answer, as tears glistened in her eyes that Sora could tell she would not let shed.

And it was clear by the fact that Kairi had said the last—but hadn't restated it, because she was a bit shy—that she meant every word.

And even if Sora had felt Light in his heart many times because of his friends, and even via Kairi before, it had never been like this.

Sora was already dead: He'd known that the moment Young Xehanort had told him as much.

And, yeah: if he really focused on the pain from that now, it was unendurable.

And yet… with Kairi, anything seemed possible. And Sora could almost believe he'd find a way back to the surface, and they'd be together again… And there wasn't any better world out their, than that belief.

But Sora's expression must have darkened for a moment, because Kairi seemed hesitant to summon her Keyblade and make them a pathway home (for Sora could tell as flowers had begun twining up her arm, in her summoning animation, that that was what she was planning on).

Perhaps because she saw getting home as being just for her; and that if she just didn't stay here working up a way to save him… it would be some sort of betrayal in her eyes.

But if she did think that, Sora instantly silenced that fear with a look. And so Kairi did summon Destiny's Embrace, to lead them home again:

Like she had the first time, and a time after that.

And holding hands in that intimate way they had just a few hours ago, they both turned to Light, went through the ether, and ended up back Destiny Islands like Sora had with Riku after fighting Xemnas.

And in Sora's heart, it felt good to do this with Kairi: to experience new things with her, like they had first dreamed about.

While they were still air, Sora brushed an incorporeal hand against Kairi's face—and oh, she felt it. And Sora relished in how she bowed her head into his hand more—and said the words he'd been too afraid to before this: "I love you."

Somehow, being his namesake right now—and Kairi nearly being her own, as they fell closer and closer to it—gave him the confidence to be this thing the self-conscious boy never could've been otherwise: love incarnate, he supposed.

Because Sora had just been... so smitten, to witness this proof that sea and sky could be together outside of the Final World, and always had been… and always would be.

And mayhap Kairi's befuddlement—befuddlement and love, Sora thought. Because he was very much the same when it came to Kairi—at his confession is what had her staring at his face, as he took in every inch of hers for the end of their time together.

In another life, Sora would have kissed her here…

But in this one, he was sadly joining the ether once more.

So Sora made love with their joined hands even moreso.

And gave the one he treasured most in the world, the kind of card that would perfectly fit her crazy hair and appearances… that would even be the key to saving him, and their love...

The Wild Card.

And Sora knew that with every fiber of his being, as he allowed himself to reach for a Kairi he couldn't touch one last time. And secretly kissed her cheek, before he was looking at his hand there.

Author’s Note: Some explanation about this story: I don't know why. But when I was first envisioning this scenario… I imagined Sora going through some place that looked like the Cavern of Remembrance, as Nightmare Kairis—that were really Nightmare Soras, and his own guilt about everything—attacked him as rocks fell down… and then eventually Kairi finally got her chance to shine and came in and rescued HIM.

But I then realized that those visuals weren't at all consistent with how we saw Sora saving the others' hearts in KHIII.

So I then tried to keep my original ideas, but stay true to that—that was when the stained-glass platforms of Kairi that Sora dove to came in (but since those for sure felt like Kairi's heart, that meant Sora used the Power of Waking RIGHT this time. Because he traversed hearts to find worlds, as he was supposed to do. So I had to work it in, that Sora was doomed even before he did this… which I think he was).

And since I was having those platforms, it just seemed that I had to have memories attached to each one and literally delve into them.

This allowed me to put in two ideas I've always had for SoKai.

The first is the idea of Sora and Kairi hating each other at first, but then growing to like each other and falling in love… Because I love that trope. But to have it work for SoKai and stay (mostly) true to canon, I had to have it that they only felt that way about each other for five seconds when they were dumb kids.

And I also had the idea of Kairi standing on a rock in the sea after young her and Sora's fight, YEARS before KHIII came out and I had this idea about boulders assaulting Sora as he tried to save her there. So those two things lent themselves well to each other.

And the second thing, is that I've always had the headcanon that Kairi changes her hairstyle every year (why? Because young Kairi, KHI Kairi, KHII Kairi, and Another Side Another Story Kairi all have different hair. Though KHIII Kairi is where I choose to say that she broke this trend, as that looks the same as her four-year-old hair), and that it led to some pretty crazy hairdos…

Which is how the Queen stuff came into this, because I needed to expand on one of her weird hair choice. But it's just not for that, that the band Queen is here—or just because of my love for Queen, I swear—but because Sora and Kairi somewhat remind me of Freddie Mercury and Mary Austin, so there's some attempted (though possibly failed) clever writing at that part.

There's also a theme of "appearance" throughout this whole fic.

Edit: Oh, and at one point Sora wrongfully thinks of a beautician as a barber. That's because he's a silly boy, who doesn't know better;)