#kal i will do what i think is right / moral / the best gain for me/family

[cienie-isengardu]

Kal Skirata and Walon Vau’s relationship: a summary one of many

[falcqns]

an apostles redemption

Pairing: August Walker x OFC (Grace Walker)

Warnings: fluff, swearing, family angst, mention of nuclear weapons and firearms, facial injury, mention of anxiety disorder and anxiety attacks, implied smut 

A/N: hope you enjoy!

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three |

Ragged Night 

When Grace awoke the next morning, August was not laying next to her, as she had hoped. When she sat up, shed noticed Kal wasn't in his bed either. She put on some socks, and headed down the stairs to find her husband and dog.

He wasn't in the kitchen or living room,  but the door to the basement was open, and Grace immediately knew where he was. He was in the gym.

She ventured down the stairs, and into the large home gym. August was wearing a grey muscle tank and red gym shorts, with his Adidas running shoes on his feet. He had his red boxing gloves that were monogrammed with the words 'The Hammer', a Christmas gift from Erica Sloane. He was aggressively punching the punching bag hanging from the ceiling, his AirPods blaring some type of heavy metal.

Kal was laid by the mirrors opposite August, watching his dad take out his energy on the bag. Kal's ears perked up when Grace walked into the room, and stood up to go and get pets from his mom, which alerted August that he wasn't alone anymore.

He turned his head and smiled when he noticed Grace. He took out his AirPods and placed them back in the charging case, before walking over to give his wife a kiss.

"Good morning, love," Grace said, as she wrapped her arms around her husbands sweaty midriff.  

"Good morning," August responded, as he took off his punching gloves.

"I'm going to make breakfast, so why don't you go and shower and we'll eat together?" Grace offered. August smiled. It had been weeks since he had had his wonderful wife amazing cooking.

"Sounds good to me, angel." He pressed another kiss to his wife's lips, before Grace led Kal upstairs with the promise of food. August cleaned up the gym from his morning workout, and headed up to their shared bathroom. He had wished Grace would join him, but he knew she didn't trust him enough for that amount of affection. August understood, and was going to do anything to earn that trust back.

He had a quick shower, and put on a t shirt that had Geralt of Rivia on it, from his favourite video game, The Witcher. He also pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants, and made his way down stairs, following the smell of bacon.

He walked into the kitchen but stopped in the doorway. Grace was stood at the stove, tending to their food. Harry Styles was playing from her phone, the sounds of 'She' echoing through their large kitchen. Two plates were sitting on the island, and there was a stack of books sitting on the same stool where he sat last night while Grace stitched him up. He walked over, and picked up the books, looking through them.

'What We Owe To Each Other , T.M. Scanlon,

A Treatise Of Human Nature, David Hume,

Groundwork in the Metaphysics of Morals, Immanuel Kant,

No Exit, Jean Paul Satre,

Fear and Trembling, Soren Kierkegaard,

Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle.'

Ethics books. He knew these books were in the house, as he gave them to Grace for her birthday. She loved The Good Place, and wanted to know more about ethics, so August bought her all the books mentioned in the show, and she had read them all. He knew he would have to read ethics books when he came home, but he didn't expect it to start so soon.

Before he could think about anything else, Grace turned around, and emptied eggs on both of their plates, and smiled at him.

"You look much better," She said, as she turned back to the stove to grab the pan with the bacon.

"I feel better, other than I'm hungry, and my face stings a little still." He said.

Grace placed the bacon on their plates, and walked over to the medicine cabinet. She grabbed the creme she had put on his face last night, and handed it to him.

"My hands are dirty from food, so just put this over the whole scar tissue area. It'll help it heal and help with the pain." He nodded, and did as he was told.

A few minutes later, his face didn't sting anymore, only a cooling sensation, which felt amazing.

They were sat at the breakfast booth, with Kal laying underneath, on their feet.

"August, I have to tell you something," Grace said nervously.

"What is it?" August replied, slightly afraid of her response.

"Sloane is coming over today, with Hunt and his team."

He immediately dropped his fork. "What? Why?"

Grace immediately recognized he was starting to panic, and she reached over and grabbed his hand.

"I'm doing it to help you. I'm going to sit them down, and I'm going to explain to them that you want to redeem yourself and that you will do anything to win back their trust."

August stood up to pace, which scared Kal, who nuzzled his head into Grace's lap.

"What if they shoot me?" He asked.

"You know that I don't allow weapons in the house, other than our shot gun. They are aware of that rule too, and will not be bringing any weapons. It's going to be fine, Auggie."

August felt his anger bubbling up. "How can you be so sure Grace? How?"

Grace stood up, got in his space, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She decided to ignore the face that he called her by her actual name. "Because, you're going to go into the basement and stay there. I am going to tell them that you are alive and willing to do anything to earn back their trust. I will tell them that they are allowed to be mad at him, but to at least allow you to try and prove yourself. I know that Ethan is going to be the first one to trust you. You need to be his friend."

August rolled his eyes, sighed, and then placed his bandaged forehead on to hers. "Okay," He agreed. "When do they get here?" He asked as he pressed a kiss to her cheeks, which make Grace blush.

Grace glanced down at her Fitbit. "It's only 8:30, they're not coming until noon, so we have a few hours. During that time I want you to start reading," She said, unraveled herself from August, and walked over to where the books laid.

"We'll start off with Scanlon. You don't have to read this whole thing today, but I want  you to read as much as you can while I go and get groceries." She said, handed him 'What We Owe To Each Other', and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she headed to the door to the backyard to let Kal out for a pee.

He nodded at her and took the book into the living room to begin to read, clearly not hungry anymore.

'We all believe that some actions are morally wrong. But when we claim that an action is wrong, what kind of judgement are we making? Judgements about right and wrong cannot be straightforwardly understood as factual claims about the empirical world or about our own psychology. Yet they do seem to make claims about some subject matter, claims which are capable of being true or false. Moreover...'

'God this is going to be a long few hours,' August thought to himself, as he began to read.

Grace finished eating, peeked into the living room where she saw her husband reading the book, and she smiled to herself. She grabbed her keys, and left the house. She made sure to lock the door behind her, so no one who wasn't invited could get in.

She religiously checked her security app on her phone to ensure Augusts safety, and to her surprise, he continued to read the book. She knew he didn't want to read moral philosophy and ethics books, but she also knew that he realized he had to if he had a chance to gain back not only her trust, but his country's as well.

She grabbed all the essential groceries she would need, as well as a few treats for August. She decided to reward him for his good behaviour, much like a child, but she knew that would work.

August did not have a good childhood. He was an only child, but his parents barely paid attention to him. His dad also worked in the CIA, and was killed when August was 8, just a day before his 9th birthday. His mother became distant and cold almost instantly, and told her little 8 year old that 'she had nothing, and no one left,' after her husband died. August tried to please her the best he could, but nothing he ever did was good enough for her. On his 18th birthday, he had had enough. He told her that he didn't appreciate that she was not a good mother to him. That nothing he ever did was good enough. That he always had to do hard physical labour, and wasn't able to enjoy his teenage years. His mother, on that same day, told him that she wished he had died instead of his father, as she could replace him, but not her husband.

August didn't  forgive her for many years, and he still fully hadn't. He talked to her on her birthday, and only to wish her a happy birthday. The only time she was proud of him was when he joined the CIA. He had joined to figure out who killed his father, and subjected him to so many years of abuse and neglect.

Once he found out his father had gone rogue and was killed by the IMF, he became angry, and shut himself off from everyone in his life. He became what the world see's today. The Hammer. The guy who gunned down every single Syndicate agent he came across. The man who almost wiped out India, Pakistan and China, with two nuclear bombs.

Sometimes Grace couldn't believe how different their lives were before they met. Grace grew up in a loving and nurturing household. Grace was the youngest of four, her older sisters Melissa and Julia, and her big brother Rick. Melissa had moved out before she was born, but Julia and Rick were still in school, and both living at home. The only trauma that she had experienced in her life was when Julia was kidnapped, and she moved in with her sister Melissa so her mom could focus on finding Julia, and she was only 6 years old. Her sister was found soon after and everything went back to normal.

She had noticed August had severe childhood trauma just 5 weeks into dating. It was the first time she had spent the full night with him, and he woke up in a cold sweat, and screaming. He was inconsolable for multiple minutes, and only when Grace got him water and rubbed his back, did he calm down. He told her a little bit about it, but only his fathers side, not about his mothers abuse. His mothers abuse came out when they were planning their wedding, and Grace kept bugging him to invite his mother.

'"She's your mother August! She has a right to come and see her son get married!'"

"That doesn't change the fact that her and I don't get along, and I don't want her ruining our day."

"Why? Why don't you get along? She's your mother, she loves you."

"NO SHE FUCKING DOESN'T! I HAVE NEVER, IN MY ENTIRE TIME OF BEING ALIVE, HEARD HER TELL ME SHE LOVES ME! THE LAST CLOSE TO 'I LOVE YOU' WAS 'IM GLAD YOU JOINED THE CIA TO MAKE YOUR FATHERS MEMORY PROUD'! SHE NEVER WANTED ME, BUT WAS FUCKING STUCK WITH ME AND SHE MADE SURE I KNEW THAT!"

Grace immediately stood up and enveloped him in her arms. She felt his head hit her shoulder, and his sobs began to spill out.

"It's okay my lovely. I love you. I'm sorry you went through that, but the beauty of being an adult is you can make your own family. It's going to be okay."'

He had never expressed himself like that before, and Grace knew that marrying him would have its challenges, and the challenge she was currently facing was the biggest of them all.

She wrapped up at the store, and headed home. While she drove, she attempted to figure out how she was going to explain to Sloane and the IMF that August deserved a second chance, when she didn't fully trust him again yet. Although, he had begun to prove himself worthy of her help, even in less than 24 hours.

Just before pulling into the driveway, she remembered she needed to check the mail. She drove to the mail box, and checked their slot. There were a few bills, other junk mail, a package from Amazon for Grace, and package from Julia, which was also for Grace.

Her and Julia had stopped talking after she got engaged to August, who Julia didn't trust. Every once in a while, though, she would get letters and packages from Julia on holidays, and sometimes it would be something to give to Ethan. She put the mail in the passenger seat of her car, and headed back to the house.

She arrived home, and August took a break from reading to help her with putting away the groceries. She managed to hide his treats from him, and locking them up in a a secret compartment she had installed in the pantry while he was in Kashmir. She felt that if he knew she bought those for him, he wouldn't earn it.

She gave August a hug and kiss, told him she was proud of him, and went to her office to work on a binder to help Auggie, the package from Julia in tow.

She made a book tracker, and even made assignments based on the books he'd be reading, and what he'd be learning. She would add more when and if Sloane told him what he needed to do. He had a long few months, or possibly years ahead of him, and he would need all the structure, support and love he could get. She thought about reaching out to his mother to let her know that her son was not dead, but decided to wait and ask August, although she knew what his answer will be.

Her gaze drifted to the package, and decided to open it. She ripped the tape off, and the folds popped open. On top was a letter, labeled with Grace's name. She opened the letter and read the contents.

'My angel Gracie,

I heard about August, and I'm sorry. I know I never trusted him, but that's not why I'm writing.

I've been in your place. Maybe not exactly, but I've lost a husband too. It sucks. I can't imagine the pain and heart break you are feeling right now, and I wish I could be there with you.

I was in Kashmir at the time, and he looked very determined. I know that's not what you want to hear, honey, but I thought it was important to tell you. He also gave me a letter to give to you, which I've included. I don't know what it says, I didn't read it. I want you to know I'm back in the States, at Mom's house. If you want to visit, or if you want us to come to you, we can. Just let Mom know, okay?

I love you sweet girl,

Julia'

Grace felt tears fall onto her cheeks. She didn't know what to think. Finding out her sister knew what August was planning should have made her angry, but it made her sad. She placed the letter down on the desk, and picked up the other letter, which was labeled 'Baby girl" which was August's name for her.

She opened it, and began to read.

'My sweet angel.

I love you, baby. I'm so sorry for what I'm doing, and I know it means I may never see you again, especially after you find out I did it. I don't want you living in a world that is this cruel. You have so much of your life ahead of you, and you deserve the best.

I won't be coming home. You will get everything. The house is paid off, the cars are paid off and there is several million dollars in our bank account, provided to me by the Syndicate and Lane.

They will not hurt you. They will not touch you. Sloane and I had an agreement that if I was to be disavowed or killed, you would be protected no matter what. Both you and I know that if anything were to happen, Ethan will do anything to make sure you stay safe.

I never wanted to hurt you, and I know I promised not to, but I have to do this. I love you with my whole heart. I wish I could have given you a family like you wanted, but I couldn't bring a child into such a world.

You will never forgive me, but let me tell you this.

Julia is here, and I will make sure she is safe. I will try to get her to come with me, but there's no promises. I understand she could never trust me, and never will. I never wanted to hurt you or your family. I'm so sorry my love.

I hope you have an amazing life, and find someone who can love you like I couldn't, and gives you what I couldn't. I love you with all I am baby, and you'll be the best mama ever, when your time comes. Give Kal all the treats for me, and tell him that his Daddy loved him.

Auggie.'

Grace had tears pouring down her face now. All he was trying to do was protect her, but he was doing it in the wrong way. She wished he could see the good in himself, but he just wasn't there yet. He would be one day though.

There was also a picture of Julia and her on the day she was born. On the back, in Julia's handwriting, said:

' You and me on the day you were born. You were so innocent. I prayed you would stay that way. The moment I held you I told myself I would never let anything harm you. You're so special to me, and I love you angel. You're my favourite sibling, but don't tell Rick, he doesn't know ;)'

Grace giggled, and placed the picture on Julia's letter. It was pretty obvious to everyone that being the youngest, Grace was the favourite to all her siblings.

Julia had also included some other pictures throughout her life, like Julia's grad from med school, Grace's high school graduation, and their trips to Disney that they took. Julia had included some Kashmirian snacks and a bracelet that was hand stitch-monogrammed with her name. She smiled at everything she had been given by her big sister. She didn't talk to her, so she treasured everything Julia gave her.

There was another letter. Grace opened it to find similar bracelets with Ethan and Ilsa's name on them, as well as a Virginia post card. On the back of the post card read:

' Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.'

Grace put that envelope to the side, knowing it was meant for Ethan and Ilsa.

Her phone buzzed beside her to let her know that Sloane, Ethan, Ilsa, Benji, and Luther would be arriving soon, and Auggie needed to get to the basement.

She rushed down the stairs, and headed straight to the living room.

"They're gonna be here soon, come with me, bring the book." She said. She grabbed the gun off of the coffee table where she had dropped it the night before, and she headed to the basement, with August tagging along behind her.

They went to the basement, and headed through the gym, to a false door, which led to their emergency bunker. August had this installed incase of a threat of a terrorist attack. Being they lived in Washington, they knew a large enough terrorist attack could and would put them at risk as well.

He sat down, and took the gun from her hands.

"I will open the door when it is time for you to come up. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR UNTIL I SAY SO. Okay?" She said, her voice shaking with nerves. August noticed this, and put the book down.

He stood up and wrapped his arms around her body, and rested his head on hers.

"It's going to be okay, baby, alright? I'll be fine, you'll be fine, and if it all goes to shit I can get us out. You know that." He felt her nod, and he pressed a kiss to her lips, before she pulled away from him.

"I love you," She said.

"I love you too." He whispered, and watched her walk out of the bunker. He returned to his seat, and continued reading. He actually managed to admit to himself that he was liking Scanlon's book.

Upstairs, Sloane and the IMF team had just arrived and were sitting in her kitchen.

"Why are we here?" Hunt asked.

Grace took a deep breath and began.

"Before I begin, I need all of you to promise you will listen and not act without thinking about what I am going to propose greatly."

They all nodded in agreement.

She took another deep breath. "Okay. August is alive." All of their eyes widened, and Ilsa gasped but no one said anything.

"He is alive, and safe, and him and I would like to know if there's anything he can do to earn all of your guys's trust back. He is willing to do anything."

Everyone looked as Sloane, as her opinion was most important.

Sloane got very serious. "Yes there is. We do have a protocol to follow for rogue agents wanting to gain trust back again, but they have to request it in person, with proof that they are truly serious about it. Where is he currently?" She asked calmly.

"He is here." Grace said. "He came home last night. I would have called you but he had a large burn on his face, and a badly stitched forehead wound so I was more preoccupied with making sure he got fixed up."

Everyone nodded. They may not like or trust August, but as agents, they understood how important physical health was.

"Understandable. Bring him in, and we'll discuss it." Sloane said, and gave Grace a comforting smile, which let Grace know she wasn't going to pull any stunts.

Grace rushed down and got August, and headed back up. Grace saw Ethan's eyes darken in anger almost immediately upon August entering the kitchen.

August took a deep breath, ad began to speak. "I understand that you all probably hate me, and are angry at me, but I need your guys's help. I will do anything and everything to gain your trust back." He said, in a quiet tone of voice August had never used before.

Sloane was the first one to speak to him. "Walker, we are willing to help you, but you must do everything you are told. It's going to be a long few months."

August nodded. "I know. I'm already working to gain back Grace's trust, and she's helping me to be a better person, and as I said before, I am willing to do anything to gain that trust."

Ethan, Ilsa, Benji and Luther looked at each other, before they turned to August. "We'll help you too. I believe that everyone's capable of change, so we'll give you a chance," Ethan said. "But only one."

August nodded. "I understand." He looked up into Ethan's eyes. "Thank you." Ethan gave him a small smile.

They began to talk about what needed to be done, and how Grace was helping him. A few hours later, Ethan and Ilsa were getting ready to leave. Just before the headed to the door, Grace stopped them.

"I received a package from Julia this morning, and this was in it. She's back here, and she's safe." She said in a low voice to him.

Ethan smiled, and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Grace. If you happen to talk to her, let her know that I hope she's doing okay, and to stay safe. I appreciate you being able to make sure that she is always safe."

Grace smiled, and nodded. "She's my sister, and you're still my brother, wether or not you and Julia are together. It's my job," She said.

Ethan smiled, and gave her another hug, before Ilsa walked in from using the bathroom, and the trio said their goodbyes, before the door closed behind Ethan and Ilsa.

Grace ran up the stairs into her office and grabbed the letter. She headed back down to the living room, where she found Auggie reading. She took a seat next to him, making August look up.

"What's that?" August asked, and pointed to the paper in her hand.

"It's the letter that you gave to Julia to give to me, I got it in the mail this morning."

He put the book down, and turned towards her, his features portraying anxiety.

"And, um, what did you think?" He asked, nervously.

Grace smiled and looked at him.

"It made me cry. I know now all you care about was making the world a better place, but you were going about it the wrong way. You knew Julia would be there, but you wanted to make sure she was safe, all because she was my sister. It made me fall more in love with you," She said, tears coming to her eyes as she maintained eye contact with August.

August smiled, and reached a hand out for hers. Grace let him take it, and she ran her thumb on the back of his hand.

"All I ever want to do for you is to make sure you are safe, and you are happy." August whispered, and looked down to his lap, where Scanlon's book was laying.

"Auggie, I know. But I don't need you being taken away from me for the world to change. I read that manifesto, and yes, in certain situations, you must struggle before you succeed. But not the way you and Lane wanted to do it, honey." Grace said, quietly.

"I know, and I'm sorry," August whispered, as tears started to fall from his eyes. Grace immediately looked up at the tone of his voice. Noticing his tears falling, she let the letter fall to the ground, and wrapped her arms around August, who sobbed into her shoulder.

"Auggie, shhhh, calm down," She said, as August's tears became louder and closer together. She ran her hands up and down his back, and whispered in his ear how much she loved him. a few minutes later, his tears started to subside.

Grace looked down, and saw his tired eyes begin to flutter closed. She sat up and lifted his head.

"Hey, hey, hey, you can't sleep yet," She began, brushing a few curls off of his forehead bandage. He groaned slightly, but opened his eyes. "I have to change your bandage on your head, and we need to put some more creme on your burn," She said, and helped August up.

He grumpily walked to the kitchen, and sat on a stool. Grace watched him as she gathered her tools, and laughed to herself about how child like he can become when he is tired.

She quickly took off the bandage, and looked at his stitches,

"They're healing, just slowly. They shouldn't leave too big of a scar, if a scar at all," She said. August nodded, too tired from todays events to talk.

She replaced the bandage and moved on to his burn. It was still noticeable what had happened, but it was healing. She gently lathered on the burn creme, and took a photo of his burn with her phone, in order to track it.

"Okay, baby, all done." She whispered to him. "You head up and go to bed, I'm going to put this away and let Kal out for a pee, and then I'll join you, okay?"

August smiled at her, and stood up. He wrapped his arms around her, and pressed a kiss into her hair. "Thank you, my love. I love you so much." He whispered into her ear.

Grace giggled and gave him a kiss on his lips. "I love you too, Snuffles," She replied, and used his nickname.

He gave her one last hug and kiss, and walked over to the stairs.

Grace began to clean up her medical supplies, and let Kal out for a pee. She walked into the living room, and saw the letter laying on the ground. She picked it up, placed it on the table. She then pulled out her phone and made a reminder to call her mom to talk to Julia and let her know what was happening and why she hasn't answered her lately.

She let the Akita back in the house, who went to his water bowl for a drink before heading up to the bedroom, where his dad was.

Grace made sure all the doors and windows were locked, and the alarm was armed, before she followed her boys.

"Kal! Leave Daddy alone!" Grace whisper yelled upon entering the bedroom, and seeing Kal nudging August with his nose for pets. Kal huffed at her, but then stalked over to his bed, immediately settling down.

Grace changed into her pyjamas, which consisted of one of August's shirts, and a pair of spandex shorts, before snuggling into bed with August.

She quickly fell asleep, and stayed that way until she was awoken at 5:30am by August shooting up from where he was laying. She rolled over and saw his shoulders shaking, his large hands covering his face. She shot up, and crawled so she was kneeling in front of him in the bed. She pulled his head from his hands, which forced him to reveal that he was crying and hyperventilating.

"What's wrong?" Grace said. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. She pressed a kiss to his forehead before running to the bathroom to get him a cup of water. She returned to his side, and placed the water down. He had a hand on his chest, and was hyperventilating to the point where Grace knew he couldn't breathe. She reached into his bedside drawer and grabber his 'bcalm' inhaler.

She bought him this inhaler after a particularly rough day at work, a few months previous.

He had come inside the house, and immediately walked up to where Grace was in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her, and began to breathe quickly. Grace, thinking he was just tired, gave him a hug, and continued to work on dinner when he released her. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and followed Kal into the living room.

A few minutes later, as Grace was chopping up vegetables, Kal came running into the kitchen and began to bark and jerk his head towards the living room, before he ran back to August. Grace knew something was wrong, and followed him. She found August bent over on the couch, shaking, and his head in between his knees. Kal was nudging him, and attempting to get his face up unsuccessfully. Grace dropped to her knees in front of him, and lifted his head.

He looked up at her with pure fear in his eyes. His hands were on his chest, crumpled in his shirt. Grace immediately recognized what was wrong, and tried to calm him down.

'Baby, I need you to listen to me. You're okay, you're safe. Breathe with me." She said, and began to breathe calming breaths with him. "In through your nose, out through your mouth."

They did that for a few moments, but his breathing barely calmed. She held her finger up in front of his mouth. "Pretend you're blowing out a candle, small, deep breaths."

August did as he was told, and his breath quickly slowed, and returned to normal.

Grace knew then that he had an anxiety disorder, but he had never gone to a doctor for it, and likely never would. She opted to educate herself on ways to help him, instead of forcing him into a situation where he wouldn't be comfortable.

She placed the inhaler up to his lips, and instructed him to breathe in. She removed the inhaler to allow him to exhale, before returning it to his lips. After 6-7 breaths, he was calm, and rested his head into Grace's neck.

"Here," Grace said. August lifted his head at her voice, and opened his mouth to drink from the cup that was presented at his mouth. He drank half the glass, before he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Grace said in a quiet voice.

August took a few breaths, but began to explain. "I-I dreamed that Ethan didn't stop me in Kashmir, and Julia died. I was sent to prison. You visited me and told me how much you hated me, and wished you never married me. It scared me so much," He said, shakily.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm here, I love you and you're going to be okay. You're safe." Grace said. She felt Kal's wet nose poking at her leg, and she looked at the dog. He had anxiety written all over his face, and knew he was scared for his dad.

Grace moved out of the way, and allowed Kal to climb up and put his large body where Graces once was. He rested his head on August's shoulder, and Grace put her hand on the back of his neck. August wrapped his arms around Kal a few moments later.

"Hey, buddy, daddy's okay." August whispered to the dog. Kal made a little whimper, but didn't move. After Kal was satisfied his dad was okay, he moved off, and settled his large body at the end of the bed. Grace laid down, and motioned for August to do the same. She wrapped her small body around his larger one, and they drifted off the sleep not long after.

Grace woke up before August the next morning, and allowed him to stay asleep. She walked into the bathroom and began to run him a bath. He was usually very clingy after an attack that bad, and she wanted him to feel calm, the way he calms her down.

She put a few drops of Lavender essential oil into the water, and Lavender scented bubble bath as well. Once it was full, she turned off the tap. She placed some fluffy towels on her vanity, and made her way to the closet. She grabbed sweats and a t shirt, as well as his superman boxers that he loved. Those were placed on top of his towels. She grabbed her laptop, so he could watch Netflix while he was in there.

Once everything was ready, she made her way back to her sleeping husband in the bed.

She knelt down beside him and began to run her fingers through his hair, gently coaxing him awake. "Auggie baby, wake up," She whispered. He groaned, but opened his eyes. Once his eyes landed on hers, his mouth molded into a smile.

"Good morning," He said, groggily. He reached out a hand and placed it on the side of her face, and he rubbed his thumb back and forth.

Grace leaned into his touch. "I ran a bath for you, follow me." She said. August smiled and got out of bed to follow his wife into the bathroom.

"It smells lovely, baby girl, thank you." He said, as soon as he entered the bathroom. Grace smiled, and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"I have Netflix queued up on my laptop. I'll make us breakfast, and then I'll join you, okay?" She whispered in his ear. August nuzzled into her neck, and pressed a few kisses there, which made Grace smile. She missed his touch so much.

"Mmmm, sounds good." He whispered into her neck, which caused a shiver to run up and down her back.

She left him to get in the tub, and ventured down stairs. She made a quick breakfast of Eggo waffles, syrup and cold water bottles for the both of them. She made her way back up stairs, and found August settling into the tub.

Grace peeled off her clothes, knowing full well August was admiring her, which she loved. She got into the tub, settling herself in between his legs, her back pressed to his chest. She lifted the plank of wood she used to watch Netflix in the tub, and placed her laptop, and their food on it.

"What do you wanna watch?" She asked him, as she signed into Netflix.

"Mm, New Girl," He said quietly, and he ran a hand up and down her side, admiring his beautiful wife.

She put New Girl on, and settled back against August. He rested his chin on her shoulder, and began to pepper kisses on her neck. Grace moaned, and leaned back into his touch. Her hands ran up and down his thighs that had her body encased in his. August hit a particular spot that he knew would drive Grace crazy. She arched her back, and moaned out loudly. August felt himself begin to lose control, and removed his mouth from her.

"Why'd you stop?" Grace groaned out. "I was liking that,"

He chuckled. "I want you to trust me fully before we're intimate again. I don't want to make you feel like I'm being selfish."

Grace turned her head to look at him. "You won't baby. I love you, and miss you." She whispered.

August began to move his hands to her stomach. He immediately felt her body react to his, and that encouraged him to keep going. He removed his hands for a moment, in order to move the wood that had their food and laptop on it, to the ground where it couldn't be harmed.  

Grace turned around in his arms, and swung her right and then her left over his legs, so she was straddling him. She pressed their foreheads together, and moaned at the feeling of Augusts hands exploring her body. It had only been a week since the last time they made love, but somehow it felt like it had been a lifetime. Grace brushed her lips against his, and felt his hand slow to a stop. He reached up and enveloped her lips in a loving kiss. Her hands moved from his chest to his jaw.

His tongue swiped on her bottom lip, and she immediately allowed him to deepen the kiss. His right hand moved from her lower back, over her hip, her thigh, and then in between her legs, and Grace allowed her self to be lost in the pleasure.

For many minutes, time seemed to stop for the couple. Inside their little bubble, no one could harm them. No ethics reading needed to be done, no trust needed to be gained, and Kashmir never happened. All they felt was love, and passion.

As Grace rested her head on August's chest, she felt his heartbeat slowly return to normal. August had his right hand rubbing her back, and his left playing with her hair. She sighed in content, and tilted her head up at August. He smiled town at her, and gave her a kiss.

"That was amazing," August said. He noticed pure happiness on his wife's face. "I love you so much, I can't even believe it," He said, a stray tear falling from his welled up eyes. Grace lifted a hand and gently wiped it, being careful not to hit his burn area.

"I love you too. You've amazed me with how far you've come, even in just two days. I'm so proud of you, baby." She whispered to him. She noticed the tears escaping his eyes, and she knew that he was happy to hear her say that. That she was proud of him, that she loved him. Words he never heard from his parents.

She sat up and wrapped him up in her arms. "I'm proud of you. You make me proud to be your wife as every day goes by. You're so worthy of all my love. You're doing amazing," She whispered, tears came to her eyes, and she praised him over and over, meaning every word.

"I make you proud?" He whispered, clearly not believing her.

"Everyday angel. Marrying you was the best decision of my life." She said. Instantly, his sobs intensified, and his arms squeezed her closer.

She knew he needed to hear every word of praise she could give him, that he needed every kiss, hug, touch, and he needed her.

He may not be the perfect citizen, but Grace would be damned if she couldn't admit that he was on his way. And she would protect him, and guide him, until he didn't need it anymore. When that time came, she would stick by him, and love him.

[kaledeedeshra]

-- Prompt 01: Questionnaire

(content warning for: uh like.... existential shit? depressive thoughts? idk)

01. Tell us about your character’s name. Was it given to them or chosen? Does it hold any special meaning? If your character has aliases or nicknames, how did they get them and what do they mean?

When he was first picked up by the Mando’ade, Kal refused to give them his name so they were forced to come up with one for him. He was also a p feisty baby so it amused someone to call him Kal aka the Mando’a word for knife. The joke being like..... he wanted so desperately to be a saber or genuine threat but he was just a lil poke instead. ANYWAY, the name stuck. And of course, Deshra is his clan name. 

For a while, his family and close friends would call him Kal’edee when he was being especially feisty (or, in their terms, adorable)-- it’s a nickname that basically means knife mouth or sharp teeth. He calmed down a lot over the years, but the nickname stuck and the one sister that still talks to him still uses it.... 

also he’s too much of a dumbass to use any aliases even when he has ppl hunting him so like that’s the that on that

02. What is your character’s relationship to their homeworld? Do they hold fond memories of it, or do they hate it? Are they still here, and if not, do they miss it?

Kal barely remembers Wayland, SO i’m going to be talking about Vorpa’ya since that is also his homeworld. 

I mean, he hated it at first because it wasn’t home, but over time he came to love it SO much.... He even loved the hard work that came with farming, although he did very little of that since his specific family were more the guards than the farmers. Being an agricultural world it was Covered in good plants and beauty, though, and he misses it every day. Spaceships and city worlds have NOTHING on Vorpa’ya. Sadly, he can never go back. At least he has his dreams. 

03. Describe your character’s relationship with those who raised them. Was it positive? Negative? Neutral? What sorts of ideologies were they raised with, and do they still stand by them now?

Brief background: Kal has three Mandalorian parents and three Mandalorian siblings, was adopted after a Mando raiding crew destroyed his home and took him with them, and of all of them only his youngest sister is still on speaking terms with him. 

Anyway, it grew from contentious to adoring p damn quick, honestly... Kal's the worst at holding grudges and he was only four when they picked him up, so like. He was really close with his family-- they’re still everything to him. Even after the exile and years of no contact, if any of them called him up out of the blue Kal would drop everything for them. There are like...... Maybe two people in the galaxy he’d value more. 

As for beliefs-- they raised Kal Mandalorian, following the Resol’nare (with some minor clan-specific tweaks, as Clan Deshra was moving towards a slightly more peaceful way of life), and he fully believed. He still does, actually. He doesn’t uphold the tenets anymore, though, having very slowly let go of them after he left. What this means is he fully believes that since he no longer upholds his culture in the way he was taught, he’s dar’manda, or soulless, and when he dies he will have no place with his warrior ancestors. Instead, he will be either destroyed or forced to wander alone for eternity. Basically, he’s going to hell and he’s (kind of) accepted that. 

04. What is your character’s relationship with the Force? Is your character Force-sensitive? Whether or not they are, do they believe in it? Do they lean more towards the dark or the light or are they somewhere in between?

Kal is as force-blind as they come, to be honest. Like, there is NOTHING in there, the force isn’t even sure he exists let alone the other way round. Regardless, he’s spent enough time around Jedi and other force users to know that something is definitely up. He trusts them when they talk about the force, so he believes in it. He just doesn’t believe it has anything to do with him. (If he were force sensitive he would lean naturally towards the light, though. In some alternate universe out there i can feel him.... trying desperately to use the dark side and failing miserably.) 

05. What three word would you use to describe your character? What three words would your character use to describe themself? What three words would someone close to them use?

me: Loyal, obnoxious, clumsy

kal: charming, handsome, useless

jav’nen: dodgy, persistent, sly

06. Describe your character’s aesthetic. Do they tend towards fashion or function? Do they like to accessorize? How does this extend into their own personal spaces, such as their home or their workspace?

Oh, function 100%. Maybe even 1000%, there is no fashion anywhere in Kal’s closet. If it can’t protect him or make his job easier in some way, he’s not wasting money on it. He doesn’t even have any piercings anymore, and personalized painted armor is a thing of the past. Now, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t get starry eyed and distracted every time he walks past a storefront, but the important part is that he doesn’t actually buy the things he wants. 

He has very much the same philosophy with his living space as he does with his clothes. Everything has its function and its place, and unless he’s very distracted or having a depressive episode, everything is immaculate at all times. He’s the kind of nerd that makes his bed as soon as he gets up, and cleans his armor and weapons meticulously every night. No trinkets, no personalization outside of the few belongings that are completely necessary. Any gifts he’s received over the years are in a small safe either in his closet or under his bed depending on the room. 

07. What are your character’s vices? Guilty pleasures? Bad habits? Weak spots?

Most prevalent is probably his willingness to abdicate all thought and responsibility the second someone he trusts tells him to do something. His moral compass is a fuckin roulette wheel because it depends entirely on who’s in the room and who he’s trying to impress at any given time. 

He doesn’t really see that, though, so as far as things he would recognize and admit to: every time he takes his armor off unnecessarily or skips one night of maintenance or lets himself indulge in a good meal or a small trinket or a moment of physical contact, he swears he can feel his soul drifting further out of reach. Most of that isn’t even in direct violation of the Resol’nare, but at this point he’s buried his guilt so far for so long that it’s bled into every aspect of life. Any moment of joy or relief feels undeserved, but that’s never stopped him before honestly!! As long as he can continue the tight rope walk of stringent self discipline to keep the sense of doom at bay, and taking as much joy as he can to keep himself alive, he will!!

Also, he’ll do almost anything for some properly spicy food. 

08. Tell us about your character’s relationship with food. What are their favorites? Do they enjoy cooking? Are they adventurous? Will they eat absolutely anything or are they hard to please?

Spicy !!!! Call him stereotypical Mando’ade but he loves spicy food to death and back. Mostly because it makes him think of home, but also just cause it’s Good. His favorite meal would be his parent’s tiingilar (a spicy casserole)-- as far as he’s convinced, no one else can make it like they did. Every other tiingilar is a disappointment in comparison. He also has a secret soft spot for uj cake, but will only rarely admit to it. 

As far as cooking himself, Kal knows how to make things edible. Barely. He knows enough to survive on his own, and in the wilds he’d be an invaluable resource to anyone less familiar with that kind of cooking, but if there’s literally any alternative you should go with that. Kal’s cooking is for nourishment, not enjoyment. And he’ll eat basically anything, but usually sticks to pre-prepared field rations when left to his own devices. 

09. How does your character feel about engaging in relationships—romantic and / or sexual—with others? What is their history like? Do they fall in love easily? Are they constantly in and out of relationships?

Kal falls in love at the drop of a hat, but Rarely. Basically, love hits him with the intensity and frequency of a lightning strike. That he falls hard and fast doesn’t mean that he admits it to himself or finds it very easy to actually engage in those relationships though-- it’s probably fair to say that Kal has spent the majority of his life pining in one way or another. 

He’s been with a few people, though-- only one previous Serious Relationship, but there was a period of time right after his exile that he tried to be promiscuous and have a few flings. It didn’t end up working very well for him, but it was worth a shot at least. 

For him, sex has always been a far secondary priority to romance. He likes it (at least, when he likes the person its with), but it’s never been his primary goal in a relationship by any stretch of the imagination. He’s a full blown storybook romantic, will treasure the memory of a brief moment of hand contact and all that bullshit. Also if he’s in love with more than one person at once (as is the case right now) he would literally rather die alone than be forced to choose. Don’t get involved with him, he’s a mess. Unless you’re into that, in which case by all means let the boy pledge his life to you. 

10. What is your character’s pain tolerance like? Can they hold their own in a fight, despite injury? If someone hurts them with the aim of gaining information, how much can they take before they cave?

Pain tolerance is one of his primary skills, actually! Finally, something he’s good at !! He can take a punch with the best of them. He has different levels of tolerance for acute pain versus more extended aching, but it’s safe to say that both are higher than average. 

All of his joints are pretty fucked up and usually in one stage of ache or another, which he manages with a combination of the right exercises, a consistent regimen of painkillers/stims, and supportive alterations to his armor. On top of that, it’s a rare day when he isn’t carrying around some injury from the most recent adventure. Basically, he hasn’t really had a pain free day since he was a kid, and even then it was rare, so he’s Very used to operating and fighting through it. 

Regardless, that kind of torture wouldn’t be the way to get him to cooperate. Threaten anyone he cares about and he’ll cave in a second, but hurt or threaten him? That’s not gonna get you anywhere but frustration. Which is to say, the more you hurt him the more annoying he gets. You’d better hope you have a gag handy. 

11. What is your character’s weapon of choice? Are they more skilled as a melee fighter or do they have more skill with ranged weapons? What’s their fighting style like? What sort of training do they have behind them?

Kal has a long standing love affair with his blasters, but he loves his vibroknives even more. Maybe it’s because of his name, or because his aim isn’t the best, but the Second the enemy gets close enough for a good stabbing, the guns are away and the knives come out. 

As for fighting style, he generally relies on being quick and fighting dirty. Honor is for suckers, if you left your dick exposed it’s your fault you got kicked in it, catch him if you can motherfucker. It’s not necessarily the traditional Mandalorian training, but his parents adapted the lessons to suit him better as time went on. He never really took naturally to guns or explosives, so they focused more on grappling and melee combat. 

That said, he’s not the strongest person but he has a lot of training in how to use momentum and leverage to his advantage, so it’s far from unheard of for him to take down much larger opponents, who might have been much more skilled than him in any number of areas. Also, he hardcore prefers setting up ambushes to being taken by surprise, and puts a lot of work into maintaining that. It’s a rare fight that he didn’t see coming, so he usually has an advantage. Especially now that he’s working with a Jedi !! 

12. Does your character have any words or catchphrases that they say frequently? Tell us about how they picked them up.

He tries to minimize that kind of stuff, but Kal still can’t resist throwing up a hushed “Oya, oya!” in preparation for any battle. It’s muscle memory. 

He’s also the kind of nerd that says things like “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” whenever someone leaves his general vicinity. Even just to go to the bathroom. Remember how I said he was obnoxious earlier? He thinks he’s so fucking funny. 

13. Tell us about a negative experience your character has had with either the Jedi or the Sith, and how this has affected their standing. Whether currently aligned or unaligned with either faction, if forced to choose, how would they side?

WELL... I MEAN.... Take your pick: the Sith kind of indirectly screwed over his whole life, and have caused the death of a number of loved ones vs he was hunted by a Jedi for literal years. The second one turned out okay, though, so he’s definitely aligned with the Jedi at the moment. Besides, he loves a good hypocrisy. 

Honestly, though, if circumstances were different he would align with whichever side had more of his friends in it. His allegiances operate at a much more personal/individual level, he kind of doesn’t care what evils a general organization has committed. Things that big picture are hard for him to conceptualize. 

14. How would your character react to seeing a relative or friend on the opposing side of a battle or mission?

Chances are good the result would be immediate capitulation. Kal’s not gonna fight a friend !!! Unless someone he cares about more tells him to! It would go like this: Kal sees friend, Kal drops gun, loved one tells him to pick gun back up, Kal picks gun back up and continues shooting. OR: Kal sees friend, Kal drops gun, no one tells him to pick gun back up, Kal switches sides to hang out with friend. At his most basic instincts, Kal is at all times essentially Patrick Star. 

Friend doesn’t even have to be a good friend, honestly, Kal would fight to the death for anyone from a friendly acquaintance to a bitter rival. That’s just how he operates. 

15. Describe a memory that your character finds embarrassing.

When they started working together, Jav’nen didn’t exactly share that he knew any Mando’a. I’m sure I don’t need to fill in much more but. You can imagine Kal’s longing for death when it was revealed that Jav’nen had heard and fully understood every idiotic nickname Kal had been calling him for months. 

Thinking about it still makes him want to die, honestly.  

16. What goals does your character hold for themself and what steps have they taken towards achieving them? How far are they willing to go to reach them? What is their be-all and end-all?

Goals? Kal hasn’t heard that name in years........

No, but really he’s just waiting for death at this point. I MEAN he has like, smaller, everyday goals. He gets really into it every time he has a job to complete. But if he’s not distracted enough he starts realizing that the rest of his life is just a yawning chasm with nothing waiting at the end, so he’s very attached to those small everyday goals! 

Secret ongoing goal that he won’t admit to himself or anyone else: Jav’nen hug. 

17. What is the one thing your character would change about their life if they were given the chance? What other lives could they have lived as a result?

Not that he would ever, ever admit to it, but Kal’s life would have been very different if he hadn’t been trying so hard to impress his family at all times. Even when they weren’t around.  He has no musical skills in this one, but in some alternate universe out there Kal's a great musician and avoids fighting as much as he can. 

18. Living in such a high-conflict time, how does your character feel about doing what they must to survive? Will they hurt or kill others—either directly or indirectly—to protect themself and / or those close to them? If so, do they regret it when all is said and done?

Oh, I mean, it’s second nature at this point. Even with his clan’s moves towards a more peaceful way of life, combat is so ingrained in Mandalorian culture that it’s become ingrained in Kal too. He’ll hurt and kill people to protect himself, to protect others, to earn money, to keep busy. When all is said and done, as far as he’s concerned, this is just the way the universe works. Everyone dies eventually, in some way, it’s not his fault that he ended up being the executor of their fate. 

It only really bothers him if he doesn’t keep properly distracted. 

19. What is the biggest problem your character is currently dealing with?

How do....... Protect Jedi partner? He’ll never admit it but powerful force users scare the shit out of him more than anyone else, so jedi hunters are like..... nightmare time. With the way the political climate has shifted recently, and his current partnership, Kal’s mind is on protecting Jav’nen pretty much 24/7. Don’t tell Jav’nen, though. That would be embarrassing. 

20. Give us 3+ headcanons of any length or subject matter.

Oh boy, okay. 

1. Fucked joints: I’ve referenced this in an earlier question, but Kal has joint problems. Specifically, he has a genetic thing that means the ligaments and cartilage around his joints aren’t as strong as they’re supposed to be, so his joints bend much further than they’re supposed to and dislocate really easily. This is an advantage in some cases, cause it allows him to houdini his way out of a number of situations, but it also comes with a decent amount of pain. He has his coping methods, though. Such is life. 

2. Animals: He doesn’t often get the chance to show it off, but Kal’s surprisingly good with most animals. Part of that low key farm boy upbringing. Anyway, he’ll never willingly have a pet cause he’d be too worried about them all the time, but you can bet your ass he’s taking advantage of any opportunity to pet someone else’s!! 

3. Physical Affection: SOMEONE HUG THE MAN.......... By that I mean: Kal is at all times craving physical affection. He’s a naturally extremely physically affectionate person, but between a distrust of the general population and a deep seated desire not to inconvenience those he’s close to, he almost never initiates anything. You know when a dog really wants attention but doesn’t wanna get in trouble for barking, so they just kind of sit nearby staring at you and low key vibrating? Kal. At all times. 

bonus. Give us a list of any length telling us why our “fave is problematic.”

i mean does it really need to be any longer than “kills people for money” 

fine

the man has been putting people on pedestals for years will rise to any bait  desperate to please at all times over dramatic  did i mention over dramatic  thinks he’s way funnier than he is is fully willing to let things he’s not cool with fly if someone else says to has been involved in kidnapping and shit would rather die than communicate

[moiraineswife]

how about: HOGWARTS HOUSES for Stormlight Archive characters

dammit i am ALWAYS here for Hogwarts house headcanons. This is gonna be long bc, like, I take this sorting thing Seriously. But really, it’s just an excuse to do a bit of deep character meta and I am ALL ABOUT THAT SHIT. I got deeply carried away. I don’t even care. I’m not even a smidge sorry. I live for this. And I had a lot of thoughts/feelings abt the Stormlight characters. 

Kaladin - Hufflepuff: Kaladin is a fucking hatstall, right. I can be tempted by all of them, and I think my impulse instinct says either Gryffindor, or perhaps Ravenclaw. But, actually, I think I want to put him in Hufflepuff? He definitely has some Gryffindor tendencies and motives, and I think there’s a decent-sized pinch of Ravenclaw in there, too, but his heart is all Puff to me. I think, at his core, Kaladin is using Ravenclaw/Gryffindor methods to fulfil his Hufflepuff ideals. He’s a protector. He’s very concerned with right, and wrong. He’s loyal af, too. And he cares. He cares so deeply and it kills me. And I just...I need badass Hufflepuff Kal, okay? 

I don’t think Kaladin has ever wanted to be a great man. I don’t think he’s ever wanted to go down in history, or to be remembered. He rejects the title ‘Stormblessed’, he allows it, but he doesn’t thrive in it in the army, the army he joined so that his brother wouldn’t have to go to war alone. 

I don’t even think Kaladin wants to be a hero. 

I think he just wants to do what he feels is right. I think he just tries to be a good person. 

He’s undoubtedly dedicated, and undoubtedly patient. I think he takes the most pride in nurturing things. He sees the potential in others, and I think he tries to give them ability to grow into it. He wants to save lives, and his preference for doing that is in being a surgeon. 

He’s grown up watching his father be isolated from his community to an extent. He’s seen him receive no money, no glory, no praise, no real reward from others for helping and saving them. He won’t be remembered in history books. He doesn’t even really get thanked by the people he labours to help, not overtly, at least. 

The biggest tension in Kal’s backstory is the decision he has to make between being a soldier, and being a healer. I think the motivation behind both of them remains the same: Kaladin the healer, Kaladin the soldier, Kaladin the slave: they all want to help people, they all want to save the lives of everyone they can. 

And I think the decision that Kal finally makes, the choice to become a surgeon, highlights the Hufflepuff in him. He chooses the quiet path. He turns his back on the glory, the adventure, the heroism implicit in becoming a soldier. He rejects that life and he chooses one he’s seen for himself to be one of quiet servitude. He chooses to do his best every day, whether or not that’s ever recognised or praised. 

He chooses the patient, quiet, unassuming path.The path that will require patience, and dedication, and hard-work. He gets forced down the path of being a soldier, and dragging up those old tensions and issues. But at the end of the day I think what matters is truly and purely just doing the right thing, helping people, regardless. 

And I think, through everything, this is the core aspect of himself that he retains: 

He gathers young soldiers to them, and protects them. He stops them dying in this battle, fully aware that they’ll likely die in the next one, or the one after, or the one after. 

He tries to save the man in the slave wagon with a cough from death, even though he’s a slave, and will likely die when they reach their destination, or soon afterwards, anyway. 

This is the man who looks at a group of slaves who’ve all literally been condemned to death and decides that he’s going to save them. He’s going to keep them alive. He’s going to heal their wounds, and save their lives, just so they can go back to running bridges and dying the next day anyway. 

This is a man who continually picks and fights unwinnable battles not because it will gain him any glory, not because it’ll make him a hero, not because he’ll be remembered, not because he’s brave, but because it’s the goddamn right thing to do. 

Shallan - Ravenclaw: Shallan is another tricky one (actually they kind of all are? None of them are super, instant clear-cut. Well, except maybe Adolin, but he’ll have his turn in a minute). 

There’s a lot of Ravenclaw in there, naturally. Her thirst for knowledge, her creativity, her originality, her out-of-the-box thinking are all Ravenclaw.

 But there’s a good bit of Slytherin in there too, I think. I always get stuck on characters who are just consumate, against-all-the-odds survivors. Who just grit their teeth and find their way to make it through any way they can just screams Slytherin to me. And Shallan has that survivor-tenacity in spades. Her Lightweaving lends itself towards Slytherin too, I think, the manipulation/cunning aspect of it. 

I think, though, I’m going to go with Ravenclaw for Shallan. At her core I think is the desire to understand - whether that’s the world around her, the people in it, or even herself. She’s got that deep thirst for knowledge, her creativity. I think she’s mostly defined around those attributes. So she’s like, Ravenclaw motivations with Slytherin methods (and I always lean towards the motivations when sorting). 

I also don’t think she wants to be the way her Slytherin side comes out. In a different life, I don’t think she’d have that same kind of cunning that she has. But I think she’s always going to be a budding scholar. She’s always going to be an artist. She’s always going to have that quirky, out-of-the-box way of looking at life. And I also think, given the choice, she’d choose Ravenclaw. 

Jasnah- Slytherin: I think on the surface, Jasnah seems easy to sort. People just sort of impulse ‘Ravenclaw’ bc of the scholar in her and then move on. But I enjoy being contrary. 

She’s kind of like the other side of Shallan’s coin, I feel. She’s got Ravenclaw and Slytherin in her, but in her case, I think the Slytherin traits present more strongly, I think they motivate her more, and I think they’re parts of her that she accepts, even prides, and encourages, where Shallan tries to suppress. 

Jasnah is a scholar. Like Shallan she’s drawn to collect knowledge about all sorts of things. The difference with her, though, is the way in which she and Shallan see that knowledge. Shallan sees it as a treasure, as a thing worth pursuing purely for its own merit and value, she just wants the knowing for the knowledge’s sake. 

Jasnah sees knowledge as a weapon. I’m pretty fully convinced of this, tbh. I think she looks at every piece of knowledge that she has, analyses it, evaluates it, and then wonders what she can do with it. History will help her understand the past, its people. Her current line of study is in the Parshendi, who assassinated her father, and then plunged them into war. Oh, and she’s also trying to prevent an apocalypse. She’s searching for knowledge, she’s searching for understanding, but she’s also searching for weakness. 

I think there’s also a fair amount of ambition and drive in Jasnah. I don’t think you get to the level she is, and attain the amount of respect she has, as a scholar and a person, unless there’s some ambition in you.

I think Jasnah also...I think anything she does she wants to be the best at. I don’t think she’s capable of doing things by halves. If she’s doing something, she’s going to excel at it. She doesn’t do things casually, or idly, it’s not in her nature. If she does something, she dedicated, she’s driven, and she’s determined. 

There’s also a decent bit of cunning in Jasnah. I think it gets sort of...underplayed/not considered too much because she’s so cool and rational about everything. And I think the word ‘cunning’ tends to make us think of selfishness, and self-serving. But Jasnah definitely is cunning. The opening of WoR shows that: she’s got bloody underground contacts with assassins, and she makes it clear she’s willing to use them. She also bribes them to not target her family/to warn her if there is a threat to someone she cares about which is...Genius. 

The entire confrontation in the alley with the men she kills with her soulcaster is also pure cunning. She knew precisely what she intended to do. She lured those men to that spot, she manipulated them into thinking that they were harmless, and then she killed them. That’s all pure cunning, and it’s also pure Slytherin. 

That scene I think summarises the core of Jasnah’s character for me tbh. It shows how she weaponises both her knowledge (of soulcasting, for one thing, but also about people), and her abilities. It’s an obvious, instant, display of her sense of morality. I think it hints at the survivor in her, a thread of her is unravelled in that scene, and it’s going to get tugged on and expanded out at a later date I’m sure of it. It’s also a demonstration of her cool, rational brand of cunning and manipulation.  

Her being a heretic totally fits with this too. There’s that headstrong determination to know her own mind, and to practice it, regardless of how others feel about it. That idea of rule-breaking being a Slytherin trait is definitely at play here. Jasnah plays by no-one’s rules but Jasnah’s. 

So. Yes. I will die by Slytherin!Jasnah tbh. Like u can fight me on this, I will fight u. 

Alssooo I’m getting aware I’m wiffling even more than usual, so, to spare u all, the rest are going under a cut. Ur welcome. 

Dalinar- Gryffindor: The exchange of Oathbringer is, I think, like the soulcaster scene with Jasnah, is one of the biggest character moments for Dalinar, and I think it argues the whole point point rather well: 

Dalinar exchanges this iconic, unparalleled, incredible weapon, for the lives of a group of men most consider worthless. 

Dalinar smiled, wrinkle lines extending from the corners ofhis eyes. “Coincidentally, that is the exact value of a Shardblade. So today,you and your men sacrificed to buy me twenty-six hundred priceless lives. Andall I had to repay you with was a single priceless sword. I call that abargain.”

I think this is totally and completely genuine. I think he really and truly means this. And I think that, in understanding that, you understand Dalinar. He’s The Blackthorn. He’s a powerful, iconic, incredible warrior. But this is why he fights. This is what he truly values. This is who he truly is; who he truly wants to be. 

There are a lot of other things thrown in there too, his loyalty, his views on right and wrong, his striving to be not a great man, but a good one. And I think this is what’s at his core. He’s undoubtedly brave, undoubtedly courageous. He’s noble, and honourable. And this is what he calls honour. This what upholding his honour means. It means leaving no man behind. Valuing each and every single life. Saving them all. Protecting them all. That’s what gives him his courage, and his bravery, and his honour. That’s what he lives for. 

Adolin- Gryffindor: I feel like Adolin is the only character who hasn’t given me a fucking headache in this post (what a good soul). The boy’s a Gryffindor. Honestly. All that boldness. All that bravery. All that courage. All that daring. He’s literally the poster-boy for Gryffindor house, bless him.

Adolin ‘Fight Me’ Kholin.  

Really, though. Adolin is such a good, strong heroic character. His motto in life is ‘courage first, consequences later’. I think he does what needs to be done. I think he’s very principled, and has very strong convictions and ideas on what has to be done, and what doesn’t. (*cough* Sadeas *cough*)

And I think he has more than just battle courage (though he obviously has spades of that). But I think he also has the courage to stand up for what he believes in. The courage to stop and say ‘no’ when he thinks something is unfair. The courage to stand up to his superiors when he disagrees with them. The courage to take a stand and make his thoughts known. And I think he has the courage to know when to stop fighting, when to put down his blade, when to save a life, rather than taking one.

I also think, and this is perhaps straying into the bounds of headcanon land, but I think that Adolin is one of those people who understands what true courage is. I think he’s someone who can get to the point of complete and utter terror, and have the strength of will to grit his teeth and be get things done. He’s a good lion boy, and he’s doing his best.

Renarin-Gryffindor: 

My beautiful little autistic sprout

In so many ways Renarin seems opposite to his brother and his father. They’re both shardbearers, both warriors. They’re both defined by their loud, bold bravery on the battlefield, at court, in pretty much everything they do. They’ve got big voices, and big personalities, and big hearts, and that’s all so very obvious. 

I think Renarin lives in their shadows, almost. But I think that he’s just as brave as they are, and I actually think that kind of courage actually defines him? Renarin kind of strikes me as a Neville-like Gryffindor? No-one is really quite sure why he’s there. No-one really sees his courage, or his strength, least of all himself. But it’s there. It’s been there every moment of every day. 

Renarin just has a quiet courage, and a quiet strength. He’s not got the big voice, or the big personality of his father or his big brother, but he’s definitely got the heart, and he’s definitely got the courage. 

There’s always been a little bit of rebellion in Renarin. For years people have been nudging him, gently but firmly, towards the Ardents. They encourage him to settle down, to indulge in scholarly pursuits. They think that’s what he is, where he’ll be happier, where he’ll be more comfortable. And for all those years, Renarin has had the courage to say no. 

And I think that does take courage. It takes courage not to do the easy thing, which is to simply give up, and meekly allow himself to take the easy road. Renarin isn’t a born warrior, isn’t a natural fighter. But he has the bravery and the strength to push back and say no, this isn’t who I am, this isn’t who I want to be, when people try to usher him towards the Ardents. It takes courage to maintain that rebellion, to keep saying no, this isn’t me, this isn’t what I want to be, especially when he doubts himself quite as much as anyone else. But he keeps going all the same. 

Renarin, I think, is afraid. I think he’s afraid every day. It’s a quiet fear, to match his quiet strength, but it’s there. He’s insecure, and uncertain. He doesn’t quite know himself. He doesn’t fully know his place in the world. He’s a misfit. His brother and father are strong, gallant, heroic warriors and then there’s him. And I think it takes courage to be an outsider in that way. It takes courage to know, every day, that you don’t fit, that people whisper behind your back, that they feed your own insecurities. He’s not as good as his father or his brother, yet he’s always by their sides. He’s always there, in the limelight, where he’s expected to be, and he doesn’t allow himself to be hidden away, or to hide himself away. He has the courage to believe in himself. To believe, somewhere, deep down, in his value, in his potential. He has the courage to defy the whisperers and the gossips and the ones that say he’s not brave, not strong, not really anything.  

He goes to Kaladin, and he asks to be a part of Bridge Four, and I don’t think people fully understand the courage that requires for him. Because this isn’t just him doing something a little bit odd, and more than a little bit against tradition and everyone’s expectations, which is brave in itself. This is him opening himself up for ridicule from pretty much every side. This is him isolating himself even more than he already is. This is him going against his father’s will. Going against tradition. Going against everything his status demands from him. But it’s also him going perhaps the one place he’ll fit even worse than the place he already does. 

Dalinar and Adolin respect and, most importantly, accept Renarin. They go out of their way to understand him, (which I will likely yell abt at a later point bc yes, good, this is the kind of rep we need. But that is not a debate for here). But they’re his family. They love him, they’re used to him. They understand, if not completely, at least a heck of a lot better than anyone else, what happens when he stims, when he becomes overwhelmed/meltsdown. They understand how he communicates/how he processes things. They understand when he goes nonverbal and needs a little time to himself. They understand, and so they accept, they include. 

And Renarin turns his back on that. He steps out of his comfort zone in the biggest way possible. He goes to this group of people and he asks to train with them. He’s the only lighteyes in a group of darkeyed former slaves. He’s outright mistrusted by some (looking at u Moash), and even if he’s respected by the others, he’s never accepted. They aren’t natural around him. They won’t talk around him, they act awkwardly and uncomfortably around him, they won’t fully include him, they think that he’s strange, and they don’t understand him or accept him. 

He stands out in Bridge Four more than he will ever stand out anywhere. And he knows that this is what’s going to happen. He knows that he’s joining a group where he will be more different, and more of an outsider than anywhere he’s ever been in his life. He knows he won’t be accepted. He knows he’ll also likely be mocked and talked about by the nobility for mingling with the kinds of Bridge Four and reducing himself to their level. 

But he does it anyway. He refuses to let the bridgemen’s attitudes dissuade him. He refuses to let himself be talked out of it. He goes back to them. he keeps going back. Despite their attitudes, despite not being included, despite being even more isolated, despite the disapproval and mistrust and dislike pouring in from every angle, he keeps going back. 

And like, idk about u, but that screams ‘courage’ to me. 

Oh and then there’s the whole ‘jumps into arena to defend my older brother against trained, skilled shardbearers bc ‘yolo’ kind of courage. He ticks that box, too. In case u were wondering. 

Anyway, yes, give me smol, shy, awkward little Gryff Renarin. Who becomes a Gryffindor and everyone sniggers behind their hands and says he’s just trying to be his father/his brother, something he’ll never be. And he bears it all. Because somewhere inside he knows the truth. He knows that a part of him maybe does just want to be like his father and his brother. But a bigger part of him knows that, deep down, this is truly who he is, this is where he truly belongs. There’s potential in him, and he has the courage to chase it, even if no-one else does. 

Okay the rest I either don’t have as strong Thoughts about, or I’m really not sure enough about them to put them in a certain place one way or the other. And also this is ridiculously long because I have 0 fucking self-control and also I am Tired*. So, in short, we’re going to cut things off here. If u made it this far: well done u, i don’t think i would have, god bless ur sweet soul. 

*I 100% reserve the right to come back to the rest later and bore u all to death again with my intensive waffling.