#kanan and thrawn are basically co-fathers

[gia-batmm-crickle22]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Kanan: Why are we friends?

Thrawn: Poor decisions, on your part.

[mcklunkers]

Round 10 of Star Wars bullshit/shitposty headcanons: we’ve hit double digits ladies and gentlemen.

Enjoy!

-Padme and the handmaidens had sleepovers where they are junk food and watched trashy holo-comedies 100%.

-Obi-Wan is a better athlete than Anakin but lets him win because he knows the kid is selfconscious about his abilities because of the chosen one prophecy. However Anakin and Ahsoka are the only exceptions to his hyper competitive nature. He will destroy anyone else at any sports based activity.

-Luke Skywalker lives off freezer nuggets and fries because he can’t cook properly.

-Fenn Rau is Scottish, so any clone that took pilot training understands an angry Scottish accent. Many of those ended up with the 212th, and Obi-Wan only figured out they understood properly when he had a rant under his breath and half the troopers around him started crying with laughter.

-Chopper used to be in charge of making Jacen’s cot at night, and sometimes he’d use one of Kanan’s shirts instead of a pillowcase so that the kid would know how his father smelt. Hera would curl up in the cot on these nights so they could almost feel like a complete family for a bit.

-The Clones have a tiktok/vine account.

-Jesse and Kix hoard blankets basic medical supplies for clones that are afraid to go to the med bay. They’ll fix them up in the barracks as well as they can, and if it’s serious Kix will just drug them as a last resort. They’ve used this strategy on more commanders and Jedi than they’re willing to admit.

-Thrawn hates being interrupted, but as an alien in the Empire he tends to keep him mouth shut about it. Back home? He has on more than one occasion slapped Thrass or told Ar’alani to shut up when they cut him off. Eli laughs everytime it happens and will always bring it up as a joke to Thrawn later, but never actively interrupts Thrawn after the Chiss told him how much it infuriated him.

-Fenn Rau is shredded and no one can figure out how or why. It’s actually because the other clone trainers roasted him for sitting down all day so he got buff out of spite.

-Thrawn has a cowboy hat the Eli finds...enjoyable.

-Finn is every resistance members first choice to babysit because the kids love him and he loves hanging with the kids. He is the hide and seek champion on the base.

-Faro has so many gay thoughts for Ar’alani that Eli will have to go over any brief she gives with Faro again later because not one word of that is going in. Head empty, only pretty blue lady.

-Clones play capture the flag paintball. 501st are reigning champs because they’re feral and no one can compete with that.

-The Rebels frequently roast Kallus over his ISB helmet cos it looks like cheese.

-All of the clones can sing well. (This is a public service announcement for clone/boba/Jango simps to check out temeura Morrison’s album on Spotify cos it proves this as canon.) 79’s Karaoke nights result in a lot of business. Especially when Alpha-17 gets drunk and breaks out the ABBA for Shaak-Ti.

That’s all for part 10, my Star Wars hockey team shitpost headcanons are also up, I’m thinking of other stuff too because my brain is very pro procrastination right now lmao. Also Im rereading the Thrawn books so there is a weird amount of that atm my bad. Enjoy lads 😁