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A tiny drabble for the CUTEYOMI collection. @maireyart and i have been posting our short obkk stories on ao3; come say hi <3
My Favorite Cupcake
[obkk, insecure Obito, jonin parties, Kakashi has a plan, comfort, and cupcakes]
“Are you sure I’m invited?” Obito was walking next to Kakashi down a busy street of Konoha, gloved hands in pockets for extra warmth. He was starting to shiver, partly from the chilly autumn wind and partly from anxiety starting to creep on him.
“Huh? Why wouldn’t you be? Anko actually asked if you could be at her party tonight. Don’t overthink it, I was there.”
“Exactly…” Obito said quietly and dropped his gaze to the crunchy leaves on the ground. “Did you tell her to invite me?”
“No, totally her initiative,�� Kakashi said, studying the visible part of his friend’s face. “What’s got into you?”
“I … I just. I… don’t know her too well. Seemed strange.”
“But you said you were looking forward to it. Everyone is finally back from their missions. We don’t usually have a chance to hang out all together like that. It’ll be fun.” Kakashi nudged him with his right elbow, softly hitting Obito’s leg with a plastic bag.
“What are we bringing by the way?” Obito took the bag from Kakashi’s cold hand and thoroughly inspected what he had picked from the store. Some booze, some snacks, and, surprisingly, a couple of blueberry cupcakes.
“Obito, no. Put them back.”
“But they are my favorite!”
“Obito, come on, don’t make your puppy eyes at me. Anko asked for these specifically.”
“Oh, Bakashi! Could’ve bought more for me too…” Frustrated and suddenly hungry, Obito grabbed the first bottle his hand landed on and gave the bag back to Kakashi. He knew that drinking on an empty stomach was not the best idea, but it would make his anxiety go away, and he’d stop shivering. He took a few gulps of what turned out to be wine.
“Your decision-making is… perplexing tonight,” Kakashi said, half worried, half amused.
They walked in silence for a while. The setting sun did little to warm the fresh September air, but the warmth was still there in the yellow and orange of the leaves covering the village.
“I want to go. I really do. Everybody says that I need to socialize more…”
“But?”
“Well… they’re all nice at first, but after a couple of drinks they gang up on me. I always end up being the laughingstock of the party somehow. ” Obito slowed down the pace and had some more wine from the bottle to keep the anxiety in check. “I know I’m not the prettiest guy, and I have some funny tics, but I wish people would just let it go already.”
“Hey,” Kakashi stopped and put his arm around Obito’s shoulders, making sure that his friend wasn’t startled by this. He pressed his temple against Obito’s curls and quietly said, “Nobody means to mock you. They just didn’t know how to react at first, making silly jokes to cope. And it turned into a habit. Just tell them that you don’t like it, and they’ll stop.” Suddenly, Obito was warm. But not as much from the half-embrace as from the comforting voice that had been his anchor for years through the recovery. After a minute, the cool air again filled the distance between them and they continued their walk.
“I hope it’s not gonna be a game night,” Obito resumed.
“You like playing board games.”
“That I do. It’s their pervy 'Truth or dare' thing that I hate. Why should it always be about sex?”
“You can just not play, if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Not an option. If you refuse to play, it means you’re either a wuss, or hiding something embarrassing.”
Kakashi snatched the bottle from Obito before he could take another gulp. “Don’t let anyone bully you into things you don’t want to do.”
“Then give me my wine back, you big bully!” Obito said, with his usual grin finally making an appearance.
Kakashi considered something for a second and then promptly asked, “Do you want to practice?”
“Huh? Practice what?”
“Obito, truth or dare?”
“Erm... Okay. Dare!” The safe choice. Even with Kakashi, “truth” was not something he was ready to go for.
“Okay. Ditch the party.”
“Wha..? I’ve just told you that I was tired of jokes like—”
“No, not like that! I dare you to ditch the party and go somewhere less crowded instead. My place or yours. We have the food and the drinks,” Kakashi pointed at the bag. “You can have all the cupcakes.”
Obito beamed at Kakashi and trapped him in a tight hug without letting the other open his arms. Kakashi’s hand, at first pressed against Obito’s chest, made its way up to rest on his nape.
"Thank you," Obito mumbled into the crook of Kakashi’s neck. “I like this game better now.”
*** “Who had Kakashi and Obito bailing on us tonight?” asked Asuma, smirking.
“Everyone except Anko!” replied Kurenai and Aoba gleefully.
“Oh, come on! Am I supposed to pay everyone? They said they’d come!”
“Naaah, your loss, darling,” said Genma landing on the balcony of Anko’s apartment. “Just saw them heading to the Uchiha district, looking pretty happy. That Hatake bastard, he knows his game.”
“Do not disrespect my rival, Genma! And shush!”
“As if it’s a secret, Gai! Everything is as clear as day. How can Obito be so clueless!”
“And don’t you disrespect my rival’s precious person!”
#obkk#kkob#kakaobi#obikaka#mydrawings#mywriting#hatake kakashi#uchiha obito#jonin obito#kannabi happened 5+ years ago
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"what would it have been like if Sakumo was reanimated during the war?"
top ten words before disaster because right after that i decided to question
"how would Obito have taken it?"
and now I don't know what to think. bc he RESPECTED Sakumo. he thought the White Fang was cool.
though he apparently didn't know he died up until Kannabi bridge :/
which was literally 5 years ago by that point how had he not heard about his death. I get Kakashi wouldn't have told him shit but like. in a filler they sorta hinted that Rin knew what happened, that she was lying to Obito. her tone definitely feels like she's lying about having no clue why Kakashi never came back to the academy...
but okay Obito never heard from literally anyone else in the village, I mean he heard other ninja shit talking Kakashi, but they never heard any other ninja shit talking Sakumo? okay
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[ It's The Same Tale, Once Again ]
Pardon my mistakes, English is not my first language.
Summary : (This story takes place a year after the Uchiha Massacre happened.) Kakashi is dead. All thanks to his ANBU mission. However, a mysterious man named Roku, whom he met in the limbo, gave Kakashi a second chance to fix everything from the beginning. Kakashi expected to be back one day before the Kannabi Bridge tragedy happened.
He was wrong. He was back when his mother died one day ago, and he had to face his father, again.
Could he save his father and himself? At this point, he could only hope.
0 - Chara
1
Death was the least of his worries. But Kakashi never thinks it would be hurtful to die when someone is with you. In his last moment, he said his last wish to Tenzo. His wish was simple: "Please protect this village and be better than me." Forgive yourself and keep walking until the end. I wish you all the happiness that may come to you. "
2 - 3
But rather than dead, Kakashi found himself in limbo. A man introduces himself as Roku. And Kakashi told the story about the tragedy that started when his mother died until his death. Roku was patiently listening and sometimes made some weird commentary about how he and Kakashi were particularly the same.
And since Kakashi never heard Roku tell him his story, he asked him, "What kind of person were you when you were alive?"
Roku simply answers, "Let's just say I'm lost on the road of life. And I'm here waiting until I'm ready to take my second chance. "
Hearing such words, Kakashi feels a little jealous, yet happy. "It must be nice to have a second chance."
4
Roku: "Haha, not really. I have never been ready to face my second chance." After all, I made a lot of mistakes. And I don't think I've ever been ready to forgive myself. "
Kakashi: "Ah, I see... Regret is hard, right?"
Roku : "I know, anyway, do you want it?"
Kakashi: "Excuse...?"
Roku: "Do you want my second chance?"
Kakashi: "... Pardon, but I must be mistaken. It's your second chance, right? That is to mean, it was all for yours, not mine. "
Roku: "Nah, I'm actually able to give someone my second chance. Well, let's just say how grateful I am to Rikudo Sannin for giving me a second chance. But, I'm not ready. Could you deny that? "
Kakashi: "... I'm not ready either. I mean, Facing them again, I... I...".
5
"I know, you, or I, or people there, have never been ready to face the same things again. But Kakashi, you were brave and "kind." I'm proud of how much you tried to learn and change."
Kakashi shows him a sad smile behind that mask. "You flatter me too much."
And with that, Roku placed his hand on his cheek. "And because of that, I'll give you this chance. Please use it wisely, and... Remember, save what you can save. Not everyone. You can change some of their fate, and you can also change your life. "
"... Huh, so I can't deny your offer?" Kakashi nods. "Alright, I will do this—."
By the second time his word was not finished, a particle of light started to surround him. "Thank you for telling me your story, Kakashi."
"Wait, wait—."
"Promise me, be happy in this life..."
"... I promise..."
6 - 7
Kakashi heard a familiar voice around him. It must be Minato-sensei. 'As I thought, this is the Kannabi Bridge mission. '
He was glad until... "I'm so sorry for your loss, Sakumo-san."
'... Father? What—? '
"Thank you, Minato-san. I'm also sorry you came to my wife's funeral. "
'Mom?'
"Please don't mind it, Sakumo— Wait, I think Kakashi-kun is awake...
"Huh? Ah, right... Can you wait here for a while? I'll go get him...
Kakashi can hardly open his eyes. So puffy— he must be sobbing over his mother's death— dear God! Please let him open his eyes.
"Kakashi..."?" His father's tender voice made him feel something stingy, sweet and bitter in the heart.
"Kakashi?" He could see the blurry vigor on top of him. And when he finally saw the full image... "You awake... Wait, I'll take some water... "
Before Sakumo moves, Kakashi tucks his finger into Sakumo's sleeves. Sakumo looks back. "Yes, Kakashi—?"
8
Kakashi couldn't help but cry (again).
--
Afternote
This is my longest piece that I have ever written in English. I humbly apologize if I made a lot of grammatical mistakes (which I did).
But here, some notes about this story (the draft that I keep/before revision of this story or what might happen next).
1. Originally (I think), Kakashi's death was caused by his own sacrifice. If you ask why, here are the short stories: Shisui is saved from committing suicide by Kakashi, who knows the Uchiha Coup plan (but if you remember, in the novel, Shisui was killed). He managed to keep Shisui hidden and work with him. He also worked with Tenzo and later with Itachi. Kakashi has a plan to expose Danzo's crimes (stealing doujutsu), and with that, he wants to show that it is not really Uchiha's the one who has a problem. And perhaps it will persuade Lord Third to reconsider. But that mission is not what Tenzo, or Shisui and Itachi, thought would be accomplished. Kakashi sacrifices himself to bring Danzo down (which I imagine Kakashi used himself as a trap and would rather Itachi, Shisui, or Tenzo finish the rest).
> Because of this, the Uchiha Massacre never happened, and Lord Third changed his mind. Shisui regains his one eye and works as a Jounin, while Itachi serves as an ANBU. Tenzo is still in mourning for Kakashi and has taken on the role of Jounin teacher for team seven.
> If this happens, When Kakashi is back in the past, the main goal after saving his father and his teammates is to remove Danzo from this existence.
> But since I thought this idea was ridiculous, I stopped using it and made Kakashi die because of the mission. And if you'd like to use it, sure you can.
2. After this event happens, I will add a lot of fluff. Kakashi and Sakumo deserve so much happiness (and I can't really write action, so I instead write scenarios about fluff and family feelings/bonding).
3. For the future event about Sakumo's mission, I'd rather change it. Well, you could say it was like patrolling around Konoha's border (while someone else takes his original mission). But knowing that the mission was a total failure, even for Sakumo, the attack suddenly happened and Sakumo almost died due to chackra exhaustion.
> This accident caused Sakumo to return to an active jounin routine for a while. The village didn't shun him, but pity him. And the village blame the person who takes Sakumo's original mission because that person is the one who start the war and Sakumo couldn't get back to "become a hero for this war" since his condition.
> The person who takes Sakumo's original mission is sort of a Jonin who enviously looks at Sakumo. His child is years older than Kakashi's and still in academies. That child sometimes bullies Kakashi, telling him his father is a coward for taking on a simple mission (that child thought patrolling the Konoha border was a simple mission). But when the situation changed, Kakashi could only blatantly think this was irony for that child's family.
I will add something in (maybe) the second part~ Thank you for reading this far! Have a nice day!
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S&S Chapter 28 Preview
Because I’m still awake even after going on a hike at 5 am in the morning today (apparently my family is the only ones to do that on a Monday morning and Lang put it as the word of the day - “augh” - I’m just used to not oversleeping), and I’m frustrated at my own writing progress stagnating with me getting a job. Oh well. Something to tide people over, I hope. Scene thingie. @langwrites has already seen this. So there.
Thinking of @lovingempress, @withanina, @chiefladylightyay, and @kuc1ng-uzumaki when posting this.
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“You don’t have to stand here the entire morning, Tomo-chan,” Ricchan said past my shoulder, and I tried not to sigh as my response, instead focusing my gaze on the bright green wood of the Konoha gates. “Kei-senpai will come back with Obito and Kakashi-kun. I-I’m sure of it.” It was hard to miss the hesitance in her voice at the last part.
“I know, Ricchan…” I knew I couldn’t really do anything but agree when I wasn’t in a much better place myself.
The pink and white dress Mama had given me to wear for the morning was nice, sure, but now a part of me was regretting not bringing something like a shawl or a jacket to cover my exposed arms. If I did have something like those things, maybe Rin wouldn’t be hovering. Maybe she wouldn’t occasionally glance at the goosebumps popping up on my skin like wildfire out of worry. But who was I to talk?
I was an open book even after working on chakra control. Hell, after almost two months of not seeing Team Minato, my legs were still shaking at the thought of something bad happening to them. Could you blame me? They were supposed to blow up Kannabi Bridge. The bridge that was the site of everything going wrong afterwards in the original timeline. My heart was still with them, and who knew how long I would be here just waiting for a sign that they were alive? Sure, Ricchan could bring me home to Mama and Miyako-bachan, but Papa and Sakumo-jichan and Wataru-jichan and everyone else were still out there.
Some of my most precious people were out there risking their lives for what was essentially a pointless war, and Ricchan and I both knew there was a possibility someone wouldn’t come back.
And yes. Waiting wasn’t an activity that was particularly unfamiliar to me, but it didn’t make the experience any less painful.
To no one’s surprise, Hisako hugged me first. You’re alive again, dear, she murmured into my ear. It will be alright. You’re here, you’re alive, and you can do this. You will not be waiting forever. It will be alright.
I hope so…
It will be so, Hisako said vehemently above my head.
I exhaled slowly, raising my right hand to clutch my Wayfinder necklace. The metal was naturally cold to the touch thanks to the morning wind, and it was equally hard to miss how Rin’s eyes followed the movement of my arm. “Tomo-chan,” she started again, her voice softer with the call of my nickname, “10 more minutes?”
This again, I thought absently. Ricchan could be surprisingly on point with things like this, but then again, she was a medic nin. She had to be punctual. That didn’t mean I was willing to go down completely.
I waited for years before, in another time, in another place. Waiting at the gates was like nothing in comparison.
“30,” I said immediately.
“20,” she bargained in response.
I gave her a half-hearted glare and Ricchan simply smiled. “…15,” I said after a moment.
“15 minutes it is,” she agreed pleasantly. And then Ricchan reached over to take my left hand in her right, squeezing my palm reassuringly. “It’ll be okay, Tomo-chan. I’m still here with you. Same thing with Hayate-kun.” I didn’t miss how her right wrist was still adorned with that pink and lilac star from two months ago. “Don’t push yourself like this.”
It was hard to keep up a half-hearted glare in the face of that. Still, I could feel my cheeks start to flush red. “I’m not really pushing…”
Any extra thought on my tongue got lost to the void once I looked out past the gates and caught a glint of silver. Wait.
Wait. It couldn’t be. Silver?
Maybe—
Hisako adjusted her glasses. We’ve seen so many silver hitai-ites, dear, she pointed out plainly. It was good of her to be the devil’s advocate in this case, even if the hope starting to flood my veins was hurting. It’s possible it could be some other ninja making it back.
Maybe…? My mental voice was still weak. But what if—
#the sea and stars#writing#fanfiction preview#hoshino tomoko#nohara rin#hisako#long post#writer thoughts#somehow running on sore legs#writing muse WORK with me will you
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Scars and Pledges
When you’re studying for finals, feeling particularly stressed (not helped by numbers on a weight scale), writing comes out.
I hope Arturia comes to my Chaldea one day because I do not have a SINGLE Saberface and I want her to be the first. For now, I’ll just keep writing.
Healing Over Time Chapter 5 Preview. Takes place immediately after Chapter 4. So far inspired by the official Garden of Avalon drama CD. @withanina has been the only person who has seen this so far, so here you go. Something new to share since I’ve been quiet.
(@chiefladylightyay, I’m looking at you.)
This is for everyone else wondering wtf is going on with me. ANGST-FLUFF. Because finals prep can do that.
Trigger warning also applies for implied past violence and flashback mentioned.
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“Tomoko. My Lady.” Saber started the conversation at an empty kitchen table, having sunk to one knee while keeping eye contact. She wasn’t even sitting on a chair, leaving me to look down at her. “You know that we are in a contract as Master and Servant.”
“Mm,” was the little noise that left my throat. My stomach was churning in that not-so-happy way and my face must’ve reflected it because Saber’s green eyes seemed sad somehow when looking up at me. “I… I wish it wasn’t such a formal thing, though.” I wanted to reach out to Saber, to hug her, to hold her hand and comfort her because this looming talk didn’t seem to be one either of us wanted. It was a reminder of how, as much as I wanted to be equals with her, this entire position made it feel like it was not that. “Because, Saber…”
My throat closed up on the words. I love you and you deserve better.
Saber’s eyes softened. Did she hear my thoughts? “I know, Milady,” she said dutifully, taking one of my hands in hers. “And I am forever grateful for that. Still, I must apologize for not addressing this sooner. Your kindness has been something that I have been taking for granted, and in hindsight, I should not have done so.” She squeezed my hand tightly while bowing her head. “I should have informed you of the nuances that come with our being Contracted so that this morning would not have happened.”
Oh. “The dreams?” I said softly.
“The dreams,” Saber confirmed, her thumb rubbing my knuckles. “From my knowledge of magecraft and of past Holy Grail Wars, dreams are something Master and Servant share. The contents can be faded, at times erratic, but it always pertains to moments we have experienced in the past. From my own recollections, my previous Masters could see my memories as King, but…” her grip on my hand loosened. “This is the first time I could see memories of my Master.”
A sharp pang of “ow” rang through my abdomen. This morning, she had a hand on my stomach. She had looked at me like she had seen me die before. It all confirmed it. She saw my fall. She knew about October Tenth now. All I could do was open my mouth, trying to hide my quivering lip. “I-I’m sorry.”
Saber raised her head to look at me incredulously, green eyes wide. “Milady, why — why are you apologizing?”
I ducked away and broke the eye contact, feeling far too ashamed to look at her in the eye. “I saw things that were really personal to you and unintentionally exposed you to things from my past that I’m still trying to grasp myself. I’m really sorry. For not knowing, for showing you all that.” My cheek wasn’t bleeding, but I could faintly taste the aftertaste of iron. Memories or phantom pain, I didn’t know anymore. I just messed up, and for once, it felt like there was no fixing this. Like there was no going back. Like I was going to lose Saber, and that was terrifying. “I-I’m sorry, Art-san.”
“Milady,” Saber said softly and a hand was tilting my chin up. My vision was blurring a little, but there was no mistaking the emotion in her emerald green eyes. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I should be the one apologizing, simply because I did not tell you before it happened.” Her hand slowly traveled upwards to cup my cheek, her thumb wiping at the edges of my eyes. “There’s no need to cry.”
I bit my lip while trying to look into those emerald green eyes. I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t. “I still looked into something personal to you, Art-san. I violated your privacy.”
I saw someone you haven’t talked to in what looks like a long time — I stepped into a memory that should’ve been yours alone.
“But I did the same, Milady, and I did not warn you.” Her smile seemed mournful, regretful somehow as her shoulders slackened in her long-sleeved sweatshirt. “The fault is all mine.”
There is nothing to blame yourself for, echoed in my mind’s ear and a shiver traveled up my spine. Do not take this all on yourself, Master.
How could I respond to all that? How could I?
“A-Are,” I shakily raised one of my hands to rest over hers still on my cheek, grasping it. “Are you okay then, Saber?”
Saber blinked slowly at me. “In a moment,” she acquiesced finally after a small pause, her thumb still pressing against the edges of my eyes. “When you have calmed down.”
This Knight. This selfless, ridiculous Knight. The first tear was already trailing down my cheek once I fell from my chair and into Saber’s arms. She gasped against the side of my head, her hand on my cheek having long gone away to support both of our weights against the carpet. The first sniffles had started leaving my nose and I did my best to hide in her shirt, inhaling as much oxygen as I could. “S-Saber… Saber, Saber, Saber…”
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should be better, but it all hurts, my stomach hurts, just, just—
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m scared of hurting you and I don’t know what to do.
“Oh,” she said breathily in realization, fingers already threading through my hair. I didn’t even realize I was broadcasting my thoughts until she tucked me into her arms, straightening her posture to properly accommodate for a hug. “Milady, Milady, it is alright. It is alright. You did not hurt me.” A soft kiss pressed against my head as the hug became tighter. Warmer. Safer. “It is alright. I am alright. You did not hurt me, Milady.”
I clung to her, the tears falling like rain against her shirt. If she minded, Saber didn’t seem to be up to voicing it, instead brushing through my long hair and humming gently. “Tomoko. It is alright. Calm your fears. You do not have to cry.”
B-But, but—
“Y-You don’t mind?” I whimpered, feeling my tongue dry from the sobs beginning to echo in my throat. “I-I’m ruining your shirt, Art-san. I-I—” I’m being a burden. I should be better than this, I’m not being the best for you—
Two hands were gently pushing at my shoulders to break the hug and a sniff left my nose as soon as Art-san’s eyes were boring into mine. I shut my eyes almost immediately. She shouldn’t have been looking at me like that. She shouldn’t need to. “Tomoko.” Her forehead bumped mine. “It is alright. Please look at me.”
“…”
Two firm hands were covering mine, preventing me from wiping at my face. “Please, Milady.”
I did my best to gulp down another sob before opening my eyes. My vision was still blurry, but there was no mistaking the pure relief in those emerald eyes as Saber smiled. “My lady,” she breathed in relief and I tried not to flinch once she leaned over to press a kiss to my forehead. “You are alright. And I am still here, unhurt and by your side. I am not leaving.”
Those were words I had heard time and time again. From Kei, from Obi, from Ricchan, Kashi, Papa, Mama — everyone. And yet again, darkness curled in my veins. It was such a sweet saying, why was I—
“Are…” my voice became quiet, shy as I did my best to not look at her. “Are you sure?” I had no clue where I was going with this. But life was never fair. Bad things just happened and sometimes, there was no way to fix them. “I’m… I’m not as great of a Master as your previous ones may have been, Art-san. I’m not perfect.”
I don’t know if I’m good enough for you. I don’t know if I ever will be.
I had no clue if I was anywhere close to fixing myself, even after October Tenth was over. Even after Kei and the others came back from Kannabi alive.
I was still scarred. I was still broken.
Even after Hisako had disappeared years ago, a part of me was still that scared little girl, missing her Nobody and wondering whether everyone would leave if she messed up again.
And no matter what I did, no matter how much Kei fought, there would always be someone who would light the fuse to war because they wanted something more from the world.
How could I—
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In all of her days as King and Heroic Spirit, Arturia Pendragon was familiar with the concept of tears. Slowly becoming human again during her time with Shirou and Rin in Fuyuki was proof of that, because seeing them flee after Caster had taken control pained her beyond anything else.
Saber thought that she was familiar with pain.
But the world was proving her wrong yet again with her new Master currently sobbing in-between her arms. Even after a tight hug and muttered reassurances into that rosemary-scented hair, Tomoko still looked so small when not meeting her gaze, the occasional jolt of her shoulders through her crumpled white nightgown the only proof Saber had that she was listening. Her cheeks were pink for the completely wrong reasons, not helped with the glistening tear trails on her face.
Even with all her experiences, Saber had no idea of how to proceed. After all, she had failed in informing her lady of the concept of shared dreams and even if she was shocked at seeing Tomoko fall in the past, the simple fact that Tomoko knew she saw the event and was then reduced to this state — it all accounted for a situation that Saber wished she could have avoided sooner.
A Servant should have known better.
A Knight should have fought harder so that these kinds of moments would not have occurred.
Arturia once took up the Sword of Selection in the hopes of bringing Britain prosperity. She had done her best as King, in spite of the Battle at Camlann, but now, as a mere Servant and ally of this civilian girl, being unable to stop her tears, where did that leave her?
“A-Are…” Tomoko was finally speaking and Arturia leaned in desperately to hear. “Are you sure? I’m… I’m not as great of a Master as your previous ones may have been, Art-san. I’m not perfect.”
Her heart could have broken from those words alone, but what made something truly snap was the single thought echoing in Arturia’s head.
I don’t know if I’m good enough for you. I don’t know if I ever will be.
This girl. This selfless, foolish girl. There was no need for such worries. And yet she worried anyways.
Was this how the King of Conquerors felt when looking at Arturia years ago?
Tomoko could have resembled Shirou in how hopeless she sounded.
Saber inhaled slowly before channeling her mana. The familiar feeling of her armor overtaking her clothes was comforting and the winds that came with it were enough to jolt her lady out of whatever dark stupor had taken her. Those blue eyes were wide in her direction, still filled with tears and red-rimmed, but they were focused on Saber and Saber alone, so she could not afford to lose this chance.
“Master. No, Tomoko.” Saber gently pulled Tomoko to her feet before sinking to one knee in front of her. Tomoko was yelping in what sounded like surprised embarrassment, but quieted once Excalibur had shown itself in Saber’s right hand. Arturia merely rested her Gift from the Lady of the Lake in front of her Master too.
Nothing could truly match the person in front of her. Nothing, and no one.
“A-Arturia-san?”
It was a quiet voice, but it was still the voice of a lady that could have been greater than Guinevere. Kinder than Irisviel.
How many people out there truly cared for others like Tomoko did?
How many people in the world truly doubted themselves over simply “not being enough” for a Servant?
How many people treated a Servant like they were human again?
Arturia simply kneeled.
Tomoko was wrong in how she didn’t deserve Arturia.
Arturia felt that she did not deserve Tomoko.
“Please, Milady, believe this. On my honor as the King of Knights, the leader of the Round Table, the former King Arthur, I, Arturia Pendragon,” she took a breath, “I vow to be your sword. I pledge to stay by your side, to use this Holy Sword of Excalibur to protect you.” She raised her head while taking one of her Lady’s shaking hands in hers, gripping it tightly through her armor.
Tomoko’s kindness could not be taken for granted, but that did not mean leaving it to fade into darkness.
Arturia had seen far too much darkness, far too much corruption in her past lives to let such virtue disappear again. Especially after Lancelot.
Kiritsugu may have had a point with his ideals, but he would have forgotten a girl like the one standing in front of Arturia right now. It was strange to think about him, but knowing he had sacrificed Irisviel for a hopeless wish made Arturia all the more determined when looking upwards into those blue eyes.
As a lone Knight, she had someone to protect again.
Arturia had someone to remind her she was human again.
“S-Saber…” Tomoko’s blue eyes merely filled with more of those thick, pearly tears. If Arturia did not know any better, she could have resembled Guinevere in her final moments. Thankfully, this was different. “You… Y-You can’t just say—” a sound that was caught between a sob and a laugh left her throat. “Art-san…”
Arturia slowly shook her head, silencing whatever protest that was on her lady’s lips.
Perhaps this was too soon. Perhaps this was a hasty, a foolish decision. It could turn out to be a mistake paralleling her time in the Fourth Holy Grail War. But it felt just. It felt correct. It was a decision Arturia Pendragon could call her own and not one decided by fate or Merlin’s old foretellings.
It felt like the right decision.
Perhaps Irisviel would have loved to see this moment.
Perhaps this was how Lancelot felt when first making love to Guinevere in secrecy. It was not the same kind of love, but there was no mistaking the warmth in Arturia’s chest reverberating from this girl’s mere presence.
Like Shirou in some ways, other angles, not so much. Like Sakura, maybe, but more outspoken. Like Rin in their shared forwardness, but different.
Tomoko was her own person and there was no mistaking those blue eyes still trained on her.
Arturia was not sure of her exact feelings, but the words alone were genuine enough.
“I can say this and I will, Tomoko.” There was no going back. Arturia did not want to lose here. “It is because of your unrelenting kindness that I vow to care for you. I vow to love you, now and forevermore. For as long as you will have me, I will be by your side. I promise you.” Saber smiled before leaning in and pressing a kiss to the soft shaking fingers in her grip. “My clumsy, insecure, lovely Lady.”
It was the least she could do to keep that light shining. Mistakes and cracks and all.
Kei was right. Tomoko was sensitive, insecure. Perhaps fragile too, if not for that dream last night. But it was all imperfections that made her so human, and to see such pure emotional honesty was something Arturia unknowingly longed for after so many years.
Perhaps, if Tomoko was in Camelot so long ago, maybe—
Could Mordred have not rebelled in the face of such purity?
There were so many what-ifs.
Suddenly, there was a large sniffle and finally, finally, Arturia could see a smile on her Lady’s face. Tomoko was laughing — still shaking, but laughing, finally returning the grip Arturia had on her hand. It was so human to see her like that and in spite of how sudden the gesture was, Arturia could not help but feel relieved. “Y-You, you, you silly Knight,” she chuckled, falling to her knees to reach Arturia’s height before throwing her arms around her neck. Arturia blinked but did not hesitate to hug back, gently resting her armored gauntlets against that tangled long mane of black hair. “You shouldn’t have to dedicate your life to me—! Y-You should spend your life for yourself… Not for meeeeee…”
Oh.
Arturia chuckled too, resting her nose against her lady’s neck. Rosemary again. “It was my decision to say all that, Milady. And it is my decision to embrace you like this, to stay. If it means I am foolish and naive, so be it. A King can be selfish as well. Please remember that.”
Something wet was starting to build up against Arturia’s shoulder, soaking her dress past the armor. The chest pressing against her breastplate was warm and real, and Tomoko was nodding jerkily. “D-Dork,” she cried, sniffling. “I-I just can’t win against you…”
What was there to win? Arturia Pendragon could not lose.
“Tis was my intent, Milady,” Arturia smiled while tightening the embrace. “I suppose I should take your response as an affirmative?”
There’s no way I’m okay with you leaving after saying all that!
Ah.
Instead of voicing the thought that just rang through Arturia’s mind, there was another, weaker, chuckle. “Aye… aye… D-Dork.” That phrase again. Said through a shaky voice, all the more hesitant and weak. Yet Tomoko pulled back and the sheer relief and love in her gaze pointed at Arturia alone was enough. “I-I’ll have to make you a large feast for breakfast now, Art-san. Knights need to eat too. A-And, let’s just talk about the dreams and the contract after that, okay? A-And no offense intended, but no more vows like that. I appreciate it a lot, but I don’t want to keep c-crying on you forever. Mama and Papa will wake up soon and I don’t want to be a baby forever.”
This girl. Arturia merely chuckled and leaned in to press another kiss to Tomoko’s forehead. She spluttered loudly in surprised protest, but it was the desired reaction. Teasing was not beyond either of them. So, it was an improvement.
Praise could not be brushed off so lightly, so Arturia whispered the words against her lady’s hair.
“You have never been a ‘baby’ in my eyes, Tomoko. You are already a proper Lady no one can ignore.”
#healing over time#writing#hoshino tomoko#arturia pendragon#fanfiction preview#long post#tw: long post#feeling like shit = good writing somehow!#i'm okay now though
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