#kara pendergrass

[swaps55]

In response to the question, "How does your character deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?" from The Big Place discord server.

~

“Boss, what the hell are you doing?”

Shepard looks up halfway through an awkward squat against the front rail of the treadmill, face contorted in a grimace that Kara has to stuff a fist in her mouth to keep from laughing at.

“Itch,” he replies, grimacing even harder and twisting his spine to get a different angle.

“So you’re trying to scratch it with a smooth pole.”

“I can’t reach it,” he grumps.

She tilts her head, tapping a finger on her chin. “What if we stuck one of those scrubby things they use to clean the converter thingamajig? You know, the thing with the spiky bits that are pokey but not too pokey?”

“You’re an engineer, right? You know what the thingamajig is, right?”

“I’m an explosives engineer.” She mimics an explosion with her fingers.

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“Do you want me to get the scrubby thing or not?”

“Yes, get the scrubby thing. I’m dying.”

Ten minutes later she’s retaping the scrubby thing to the pole, using a stronger adhesive this time so it doesn’t fall off the moment he starts going to town on it, when Alenko walks in, towel thrown over his shoulder. He come to an abrupt halt at sight of the two of them crouched in front of the treadmill.

“Put it up a little higher.”

“What, can’t squat that low?”

“Of course I can squat that low, doesn’t mean I want to.”

“I thought pain let you know you weren’t dead yet.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Alenko asks.

“He has an itch,” Kara replies.

Alenko stares at Kara. Stares at Shepard. Then exhales wearily and holds out a hand to pull Shepard to his feet. Without a word, he whirls him around and starts raking his fingernails up and down Shepard’s spine.

“Fuck,” Shepard sighs, shoulders slumping in relief. He wiggles his back around to move Alenko’s fingers to the right spot, groaning like something out of a porno.

When the itch is finally sated, Alenko resumes his course towards the training mat and starts his  warm ups. Both Shepard and Kara watch him, pensively.

“Why didn’t we think of that?” Kara asks.

“I mean, a custom back scratcher is still a good idea.”

“Right? Oooooooh. Hang on. I have an idea.”

“You thinking Stabby?”

“Definitely. I’ll go get ‘im.”   

[littlebirddraws]

Some portrait practice I did this week!

Featuring @swaps55's Sam Shepard and two OCs, Kara Pendergrass and Muriel Aslany, from her absolutely beautiful Mass Effect series Opus.

I'm experimenting with my art style, trying to get away from relying on line art, I thought using some of my favourite characters would help make it less scary.

Plus I just really wanted to draw Aslany because she is the complex, badass, not-so-tall, dark, and handsome, female character I've been waiting for MY WHOLE GODDAMN LIFE!

All hail swapp for giving her to us, amen🙏

[eluvisen]

Commission for @swaps55 of Kara Pendergrass!

[theoriginalladya]

Karma Pirate

So, @swaps55​ has dragged me head over heels into her mShenko story, Sonata, and the world she has created to go with it.  Her latest chapter, Carry Your Torches, caught me off guard when cross stitch was mentioned.

Now, I’m not, unfortunately, an artist with pen/paper or even digital, so my fanart options are limited.  And while I could have knitted something, I suppose, THIS WAS MADE FOR ME!!!  I haven’t cross stitched in years, but I’ve wanted to get back into it.  That plus the fact that her imagery throughout the story, not just this one place, is so beautiful and perfect, I had to make it (down to the ‘signature’ by Kara Pendergrass herself)!!!

So, have “a bumblebee wearing an eye patch, surrounded by tiny hearts and the words “Karma Pirate.”“  And I highly recommend the story!!!  (linked above)  How can it not be fabulous when there’s cross stitch involved?!

For those interested, I used DMC floss on a scrap piece of cream lugana I’ve had lying around for decades crossed over two threads.  DMC floss as follows:

1 strand each #3820 and 3822 for the yellow

2 strands black (2 strands also for backstitching)

2 strands #815 for the red hearts

1 strand white for backstitching the wing

[xocookiest]

SUPERGIRL PLAYLIST: SEASON 1 (PART I)

Summary: This is a compilation of songs that can possibly summarize Kara and Winn’s thoughts and feelings throughout Season 1 of Supergirl. All of these songs were compiled using the application Spotify Song Radio and the song “She’s A Bad Mamma Jamma (She’s Built, She’s Stacked) by Carl Carlton in Episode 1 of Season 1 of Supergirl as its base.

1.      She’s A Bad Mamma Jamma (She’s Built, She’s Stacked - Carl Carlton

2.      Through the Fire - Chaka Khan

3.      The Way You Do The Things You Do - The Temptations

4.      Isn’t She Lovely - Stevie Wonder

5.      Silly - Deniece Williams

6.      Car Wash - Rose Royce

7.      Mr. Telephone Man - New Edition

8.      We Are Family - Sister Sledge

9.      Everlasting Love - Carl Carlton

10.    Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder

11.    Groove Me - Guy

12.    Let It Whip - Dazz Band

13.    Let’s Get Serious (Single Version) - Jermaine Jackson

14.    Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) - The Temptations

15.    All This Love (Single Version) - DeBarge

16.    Best of My Love - The Emotions

17.    Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) - Stevie Wonder

18.    Rock the Boat - Hues Corporation

19.    Encore - Cheryl Lynn

20.    Let’s Hear It for the Boy - Deniece Williams

21.    I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) - Four Tops

22.    My Girl - The Temptations

23.    Shake Your Pants - Cameo

24.    Candy Girl - New Edition

25.    Watchin’ U - Ardijah

26.    Lady (You Bring Me Up) - Commodores

27.    Working My Way Back to You - The Spinners

28.    Boogie Shoes (2004 Remastered Version) - KC & The Sunshine Band

29.    Sparkle - Cameo

30.    Head to Toe - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam

31.    Ladies Night - Kool & The Gang

32.    New Attitude - Patti LaBelle

33.    Time Will Reveal - DeBarge

34.    Midnight Train to Georgia - Gladys Knights & The Pips

35.    Boogie Fever - The Sylvers

36.    Stay - The Temptations

37.    Cool It Now - New Edition

38.    Ain’t No Woman (Like The One I’ve Got) - Four Tops

39.    Apache - The Sugarhill Gang

40.    Candy - Cameo

41.    Got To Give It Up (Pt.1) - Marvin Gaye

42.    I Found Lovin’ - Fatback Band

43.    Pick Up the Pieces - Average White Band & Gene Paul

44.    Lady Soul (Single Version) - The Temptations

45.    Lovergirl - Teena Marie

46.    Blame It on the Boogie - The Jacksons

47.    Rapper’s Delight - The Sugarhill Gang

48.    Last Dance (Single Version) - Donna Summer

49.    The Second Time Around - Shalamar

50.    When Somebody Loves You Back - Teddy Pendergrass

51.    Looking For A New Love - Jody Watley & Louil Silas Jr.

52.    Can You Stand The Rain - New Edition

53.    Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder

54.    Blame it on the Boogie - The Jacksons

55.    Is It Good To You - Heavy D & The Boyz

56.    Shout, Pts. 1 & 2 - The Isley Brothers

57.    Let’s Stay Together - AI Green

58.    Oh Sheila - Ready For The World

59.    Apache (Jump On It) - The Sugarhill Gang

60.    If It Isn’t Love - New Edition

61.    Do I Do - Stevie Wonder

62.    I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross

63.    Forever Mine - The O’Jays

64.    My Prerogative - Bobby Brown

65.    If Only You Knew - Patti LaBelle

66.    Cut the Cake (Single Edit) - Average White Band

67.    Ain’t Too Proud To Beg – The Temptations

68.    I’m Every Woman - Chaka Khan

69.    Candy Girl (Mixed By: Arthur Baker & Maurice Starr) -  New Edition

70.    Written All over Your Face - Rude Boyd with Gerald Levert

71.    Shake Your Groove Thing - Peaches & Herb

72.    Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing - Stevie Wonder

73.    It’s A Shame - The Spinners

74.    Love Ballad - L.T.D

75.    Doo Wa Ditty (Blow That Thing) - Zapp

76.    If I Had No Loot -Tony! Toni! Tone!

77.    Meeting In The Ladies Room - Klymaxx

78.    I’ll Be Good - Rene & Angela

79.    I Wish - Stevie Wonder

80.    Lovely Day - Bill Withers

81.    Bad Girls - Donna Summer

82.    Lost In Emotion - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam

83.    Get Ready - The Temptations

84.    Turn the Beat Around - Vicki Sue Robinson

85.    Every Little Step - Bobby Brown

86.    Looking For A New Love (Radio Edit) - Jody Watley & Louil Silas Jr.

87.    Back In Love Again - L.T.D. & Jeffery Osborne

88.    Rhythm Of The Night - DeBarge

89.    Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry

90.    Lean on Me (Rerecorded) - Club Nouveau

91.    Call Me - Skyy

92.    Fool’s Paradise - Meli’sa Morgan

93.    September - Earth, Wind, & Fire

94.    Soul of a Woman - Johnny Gill

95.    Rock Wit’cha - Bobby Brown

96.    The Cisco Kid - War

97.    Run - Bell Biv Devoe

98.    Roni - Bobby Brown

99.    Saturday Love - Cherrelle & Alexander O’Neal

100.  I Like - Guy

[swaps55]

Okay so I usually don't really care for OCs in a story, but the Yang's crew has stolen my heart completely ngl. So I was wondering, what would Pendergrass, Aslany and Beaudoin think about the ME1 Normandy's crew? How would they get along with them?

I've been sitting on this question so I could give it the attention it deserves, because it's a really fun thought exercise.

[And now that I've written this out, I really wish I could put them on the SR-1 and explore it further, so thank you again for an amazing question.]

Beaudoin: By nature, he gets along with everyone, but I think if you were to put him on the SR-1 or mix him with that crew, he'd feel really out of his element. He's never seen himself as anything other than Just A Guy. The superhero stuff is for other people. Courage, bravery, heroism, and The Cause isn't his thing, not because he doesn't care, but because he lacks the drive and initiative people like Sam, Kaidan, and Aslany do. (Pendergrass doesn't have initiative so much as insatiable curiosity and an unsettling lack of concern for safety).

So when it comes to the SR-1 crew, he'd probably feel even more of what he did on the 'Yang with Sam - that he's not good enough to work with these people. But he's very good at hiding his insecurities, so you probably wouldn't see it unless you knew what to look for.

He'd probably avoid Wrex. Dealing with Wrex is outside his paygrade. Garrus' loose cannon tendencies would worry him a lot, and he'd nag Sam to watch that guy because he was bound to get himself and everyone else in trouble. I wrote a scene in my ME1-fic, Exordium, in which Shepard (not Sam) notices Ashley get weird during a card game, finds her in the cargo bay, and then discovers she was playing poker with her unit when the geth attacked. Beaudoin would be the guy who sought her out if he were there, and he'd give her someone to talk to or confide in about Eden Prime, pep talk her about her family legacy, and have a smile when she needed it.

He'd find Tali delightful and charm the pants off her. He'd make sure she had something decent to eat, and when he figures out she's lonely away from home, guess who becomes a Fleet and Flotilla fan and sucks Ashley into it. The three of them hold watch parties, and suck in everyone they can. Aslany has to be dragged kicking and screaming, but she does it for Clay even though she scowls the whole time. He'd be equal parts fascinated and amused by Liara's blend of competence and naivete. He'd be the one to shake Sam by the shoulders and say, "to you Benezia was a monster to put down, but to Liara it was her mom."

Joker and Ashley would severely test his, "you don't fuck crew," motto, but he'd resist. Virmire would put a rift between him and Sam, while also putting himself in a guilt spiral, because the other choice would have been to leave Kaidan behind, and he wouldn't have been able to live with that, either. Virmire, more than anything, would teach Beaudoin things about what Sam does that he never truly grasped on the 'Yang, and reinforce that he wants no part of that. I think he gets out of the Alliance after Virmire.

Pendergrass: We saw in Fugue that Pendergrass developed some pretty intense jealousy over the SR-1 crew, fearing that Kaidan and Sam had replaced her with something better. And I think if she were on the SR-1, she'd get off on the wrong foot with Tali specifically. But they're both huge tech nerds, and Tali is Tali and Kara is Kara, so that would pass quickly. It wouldn't be long before they'd be attached at the hip, and and when one of them said, "I have an idea," the whole ship would nervously hold their breath.

She wouldn't get Liara at all, and probably ask a lot of really inappropriate questions about asari sexuality, requiring Beaudoin to intervene and explain to Liara, "Sorry, she's just Like That, she doesn't mean anything by it.' She would have no fear of Wrex, thanks to Sam's reverent krogan talk over the years. Wrex would find her excessively irritating at first, but would find a deep appreciation for her after watching her work in the field. She's a different kind of warrior with different weapons than he's used to, but a warrior all the same. If you can imagine anyone lounging in Wrex's lap to watch a movie, please imagine Kara.

She might bounce off Ashley a little for similar reasons to her initial clash with Tali, but my guess is they don't make up the ground the way Kara and Tali do. ME1 Garrus is probably a little too intense and focused for her, but she'd get along famously with ME3 Garrus. She'd think he was funny, and take his side over Vega's when they play one-up with each other.

Aslany: She would predispose herself to hating everyone. This is her family, her squad, and fuck you. You aren't part of it. Opening up her small circle of people she loves so fiercely would be extremely difficult for her. None of them are good enough to protect her people. Kara becoming close with Tali and Beaudoin becoming close with Ashley would make her crazy. She'd need a lot of reassurance, and Kaidan is probably who she'd go to for it. Ironically, she'd find Wrex the least threatening and warm up to him first. He'd be skeptical of the fragile human who wants to spar, but ultimately sing her praises, and Sam would be insanely proud of this.

She might grudgingly start to tolerate Ashley, but by that time it'll be too late. She probably becomes more neutral towards Liara, but the swiftness with which Liara becomes close to Sam would irk her a lot. Garrus would also piss her off - who the fuck does this guy think he is, I'm the sniper in this family - but after the events of ME2 she would respect him for sticking with Sam when the rest of them didn't, and see him a lot differently.

[swaps55]

Always

Prompt in the Big Place discord server: write a scene using the words survivor, cluster, and friend.

Instead of a scene it turned into a 2k fic, whatchagonnado.

In which Kaidan and Kara Pendergrass have a very ace conversation.

~

It’s late morning before Kara stumbles out the screen door, blinking into the sunlight, to find Alenko swaying lazily back and forth in the porch swing. A smile touches his face as the voices of Shepard and Aslany carry up the hill from the barn, followed by the whinny of a horse.

Kara sits heavily on the swing beside him, disrupting his moment of quiet contemplation, but she makes up for it by handing him a coffee thermos. “I threw out Shepard’s shit and made this.”

“Thanks,” Alenko says, flashing her a grin. He smiles a lot more these days. They all do, really. Even Aslany.

Alenko takes a long, grateful sip from the thermos. No matter how much you love a guy like Shepard, you can’t love his coffee.

“Think the real survivors of the reapers were everyone who had to drink his bullshit,” she remarks, pushing her foot off the ground to start the swing again and tucking her leg underneath her.

“Yeah, maybe,” Alenko says with a chuckle. He always indulges her stupid jokes.

They sit in comfortable silence. The wind makes the trees wave. The orchard is a lot…friendlier in the summer. The leaves and the blooms and the sun and the warmth make it feel a lot different than that cold winter where reaper cannibals and husks crept in the woods.

Now there’s just deer.

“Surprised he got her in the barn,” Kara says, nodding down the hill. After that string of terrible nights sleeping on haybales and keeping a sniper’s perch in the loft, staring at the clusters of trees and waiting for nightmares to emerge, Aslany had sworn she’d never come here again. But here they are.

“You know Shepard,” Alenko says, lost in thought now. “He’s hard to say no to.”

“She trusts him.”

Alenko gives her the look he gives when he’s putting some pieces together she’s not gonna like. “She trusts you, too.”

Kara shakes her head and draws her feet up onto the swing, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees. “But she doesn’t think she has to protect him. Me? She has to protect me.”

“We all protect each other. Always have.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just…different with her.” She scowls in frustration. She’s never been good at explaining things. “I can’t take care of her the way she takes care of me. It’s not just a squad thing.”

“Kara, we haven’t been ‘just squad’ in a very long time. Any of us.”

She snerks. “You mean since you started getting naked with one of the squad?”

A flush creeps up the back of his neck. It’s so easy to poke at him sometimes she can’t help herself. “You know what I mean.”

She does, sometimes. But other times…she doesn’t get it at all. She spends about as much time with Aslany as Alenko does with Shepard. If she didn’t have Aslany to spend all her time with and talk her ear off over bad Chinese food that Aslany loves for some reason, she probably wouldn’t spend her time with anyone.

And living alone sounds…well, she’d rather not think about living alone. Too many monsters in her head. Aslany’s, too, based on some of the nights they’ve spent sitting in front of the holoscreen at three in the morning, watching one of Shepard’s stupid B movies and not talking about what happens when they fall asleep.  

Friend doesn’t feel like the right word, which is why she’s always fallen back on squad. But they have no orders to follow anymore, and the only fighting they do these days are chicken fights in the lake. She’s never had a sister, and Aslany shuts down whenever the word ‘sister’ gets thrown around, so that one’s out.

They’ve never fucked. It’s never come up. But it didn’t come up for Shepard and Alenko for a long time before they finally did, and despite all the details Beaudoin shared on the ‘Yang, she doesn’t actually understand how these things work.

She blows a puff of air out the side of her mouth. “When did you know you wanted to fuck him?”

Alenko chokes on his coffee. She pats him patiently on the back until he stops.

“Um,” he manages.

She gives him an expectant look. He hems and haws for a while. Sometimes you just have to be patient while he works things out in his head.

“Why do you want to know?” he says finally.

“Well, at some point you changed from just being squad to sucking his dick, so—”

He holds up one hand to stop her and rubs the bridge of his nose with the other. “Can you just…can you call it…something else?”

“Sucking face?”

“Okay, fine. Sure. I’ll take what I can get.”

He stops talking. The swing creaks. She raises an expectant eyebrow. At first he pretends he doesn’t see it, but eventually he swears under his breath.

“My feelings, uh, changed a few months into the first tour.”

“Damn. You already wanted to fuck him just a few months—”

“No. I don’t work like that. I need…time before that happens. But—” He gestures helplessly. It shouldn’t be so funny to see Alenko so pitiable. He sighs in defeat. “Do you remember Mavigon?”   

“Mavigon.”

“Yeah.”

“The ice storm? That his dumb ass got us stuck in?”

Alenko’s face gets redder by the second. “Yeah. Uh. Well, you know, when it got cold that night and we all had to..."

She dissolves into laughter. “Wait, wait wait wait, no. You wanted to fuck him on Mavigon?”

Alenko’s face does all the stuff it does when he plays out an argument in his head, loses, and concedes without opening his mouth. “Yeah. Okay? Yes. I wanted to fuck him on Mavigon.”

“Still, like, a decade before you actually fucked him.”

“It wasn't a decade.”

Kara shakes her head in admiration and then sniggers. “You are the only person I know who can have both literal and figurative blue balls.”

“Wow, I am really feeling the love and support after offering up some very personal information I’ve never even told Shepard, so—”

“Wait, he doesn’t know how close he came to getting railed on Mavigon?”

“Kara.”

She holds up her hands in surrender. “He won’t hear it from me. On purpose.”

Alenko groans. She grins.

She kicks her feet to get the swing moving again. “Okay, so. What does that…feel like? Wanting to have sex with someone?”

He arches an eyebrow. “Are you wanting to have sex with someone?”

“No. I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. How do you know?”

Now he actually looks thoughtful. “Well. It’s different from me than for a lot of people.”

“You mean Beaudoin?” She snickers into the back of her hand.

“Yeah,” Alenko says, though something sad flicks across his face. Guilt flashes through her. She always forgets that the others still think about his death before they think about his life. “For me I tend not to notice the physical stuff beyond aesthetics, at least not right away.”

“And then, what, one day Shepard’s ass is all you can think about?”

Now he actually cracks a smile. “No. Not quite like that. I just…couldn’t stop thinking about him. All of him. Not one particular piece. Wanted to be around him all the time, hear everything he had to say. When he wasn’t around I just had this…knot in my chest. At some point I started imagining what it would feel like to kiss him and then it, uh. Went from there.”

She scrunches her nose. Kissing Aslany is such an alien thought she can’t even picture it when she tries. Probably not a good sign. “Okay.”

“Why do you ask?”

Her turn to hem and haw a little. She considers lying, but lying never works with Alenko, so she just says it. “I don’t want Aslany to leave me.”

He sits up straighter. “What do you mean?” 

She shrugs a moody shoulder. “I don’t know. She’s my Shepard. But we’re not like you and Shepard. We don’t fuck. We don’t even hold hands, and yeah, I’d kinda like to hold hands sometimes but I don’t wanna get punched and I don’t think I wanna fuck, but I don’t know what it feels like to want to fuck someone, and she does like fucking people and I don’t want to lose her because we don’t.” She stops to catch her breath.

Alenko looks at her for a long time without speaking. She squirms.

“How long have you been worrying about this?”

She stares out at the trees. “Dunno. A while, I guess.”

“Kara. Hey.” He waits until she meets his gaze. “Just because it doesn’t look like what Shepard and I have doesn’t make it mean any less. To you or to her. Everyone’s different. Sex isn’t a requirement for a relationship. Or whatever you want it to be. You get to define it. Even if that means not defining it.”

She nods, and looks back down the hill as Shepard leads his horse out of the barn, Aslany walking a safe distance away. Shepard may be hard to say no to, but even Shepard isn’t going to get Aslany to not be afraid of a horse.

“She cares about you more than most people care about anything,” Alenko says quietly, like he’s seeing a few of his own monsters. “She’s not ever leaving you behind.”

They’ve all seen a lot of shit. Lot of it they’ve seen together.

Shepard leans lazily against the fence, watching the horse graze. He says something and Aslany laughs. Kara’s heart tightens. But…in a good way.

“Thanks, boss,” she says quietly. He puts an arm around her, and she snuggles up to his side. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they’re all more than squad. But squad was pretty good, too.

~

That afternoon they shake the chicken teams up, and it’s Aslany and Alenko against Kara and Shepard in the lake. Shepard complains about her bony ass on his shoulders the entire time, but it’s affectionate, and he does a lot of crowing when they finally manage to dethrone Aslany. After they’ve had enough, Shepard uses his biotics to throw Kara around in the water for a while. They finally climb out when the sun starts to get golden but there’s still warmth in the air. Aslany and Kara lay on their towels and stare up at the sky while Shepard pins Alenko to the ground and makes wisecracks between kisses, grin the size of a planet every time Alenko laughs.

Kara watches them idly, then looks over at Aslany, who ignores them completely. Instead the folds her arms behind her head, her dark hair splayed out behind her head in a wet clump. She closes her eyes and sighs in contentment, her usual standing scowl replaced by not quite a smile.

She might be the most gorgeous person Kara has ever seen, but. Nope. Doesn’t want to kiss her. Or anything else.

“Hey, Aslany. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”    

Kara chews her lip. There’s a cloud in the sky that looks like a pyjack. “Are you ever gonna leave me?”

Aslany lolls her head to the side, the contentment replaced by the look she gives someone who asked a stupid question. “The day you tell me to go, I guess.”

“I’m never gonna say that.”

“Then I’m never leaving.”

Kara grins. “Good.”

Aslany nods in satisfaction before turning her attention back to the sky.

Alenko always makes things make sense. Aslany always makes things so simple.

“Ready to head back to the house?” Shepard asks.

Kara picks her head up. Alenko is still pinned beneath him and looks quite happy to be there. “Dunno, you done sucking face yet?” Alenko gives her the finger, but he’s grinning.

Shepard considers her question. “For now.”

“Then yeah, I guess.” She gets to her feet and offers Aslany a hand to pull her up. They gather their towels and the bag Alenko always brings, because part of him will always be a medic prepared to take care of them when they’re far from home. Shepard starts talking about the B-movie he’s going to inflict upon them when they get home as they walk, Kaidan’s hand gripped firmly in his.

Kara falls into step beside Aslany, like always. But not like always, Aslany reaches out and laces their fingers. It’s awkward, like she doesn’t really know how to do it. Neither of them do, really, and that’s why it’s perfect. Kara beams. Aslany squeezes her hand, with a tiny, tentative smile.

Maybe from some angles, it does look like Alenko and Shepard. From others, it doesn’t. But whatever it is, it’s theirs. And it’s good. And it’s always.

It’s the always part she likes the most.

[swaps55]

So... how does Kara Pendergrass deal with knots in her embroidery thread? I'm guessing grenades factor in somehow. Signed, someone who just had to snip out a good six inches of thread and who does KNOT have a grenade handy with which to vent their frustration.

I'm guessing Stabby gets involved when she needs to vent some embroidery frustration. It's entire possible a few cross-stitches have been sacrificed to Stabby over the years. XD

[swaps55]

I feel like I know the gang so well, they're family. I found myself chuckling and answering most of those questions for myself. But surprise surprise, I'd love to hear your music picks (number 9 on the OC meme) for Aslany and Pendergrass.

Also, um, number 1 if you're feeling generous.

Thank you!!!!

Edgy OC Ask Meme

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC

Kara Pendergrass: Ha, this actually isn’t an easy answer because her vibe is so different from the other characters that I don’t often listen to music that evokes her specifically. She is a determined ray of sunshine, not out of any driving act to put kindness in the world, but as a defense mechanism. If you don’t take anything too seriously or hold it too close, no one can hurt you with it. Because she serves as my earthborn “Shepard,” so-to-speak, she’s also someone who learned very young that you might not get a tomorrow, so get your kicks today. And that’s why I like this one: 

Hey child, hey child We were born wild Let your neon lights Keep shinin' bright

(Though I thought really hard about “Boom,” by the same artist, for obvious reasons XD)

Muriel Aslany: I have a similar problem with Aslany, because she just doesn’t quite lend herself to my usual writing aesthetic of “sad dude playing a guitar,” but I heard BURNS' cover of ‘Ho Hey’ while I was working on the latter part of Fugue, and then promptly went off and wrote the scene where Aslany will finally see Sam again after the reaper war. I love this song for her, because the cover is infused with so much wistfulness and longing, and as hard as she is on the outside, that’s the inner Aslany. Someone who desperately wants to belong, but doesn't know how.

I been tryin' to do it right I been livin' a lonely life I been sleepin' here instead I been sleepin' in my bed, sleepin' in my bed So show me family All the blood that I will bleed I don't know where I belong I don't know where I went wrong But I can write a song

The Lumineers version of the song has always felt like a ‘Yang song in general to me because of the lines, “So show me family, all the blood that I will bleed.” That whole bunch is a group of misfits who needed family. They found it in one another, and it’s worth bleeding for.  

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

This is a tough question for both of them, because I’ve almost purposefully let their past histories stay a little murky. Both of them have childhoods they try not to think about. I have a lot of daydreams about Sam, Kaidan, Aslany, and Pendergrass hanging out at the orchard doing dumb shit like climbing trees and having chicken fights in the lake after the war, because they all had interrupted childhoods and I like the idea of them having the chance to reclaim them – together.  

[swaps55]

I still occasionally get that random pain in my chest over Cantata's:

“I’ll let you work,” Kaidan says softly.

“Yeah,” Shepard says with a distracted wave of his hand.

The door swishes back open. Kaidan looks over his shoulder before he goes, drumming his fingers on the frame.

(Once I earn N7, things will change)

He walks back into the corridor and lets the door swish closed behind him.

Beaudoin claps him on the back when he returns to the lounge and hands him a beer.

“Can’t drag him out of his hole, huh?”

“Nah,” Kaidan says. “He’s busy.”

On the far side of the room, Aslany yells when Stabby bops her in the ankle right as she throws a dart at the new dartboard, while Pendergrass laughs gleefully.

Beaudoin gives him a sympathetic look, then loops an arm around his shoulders and steers him towards the dartboard.

“Happy birthday, Alenko.”

Kaidan takes a sip of his beer, and digs up a smile. “Thanks.”

Gosh, that hurts so beautifully. Sam being laser focused and Kaidan stepping back to give him room to do his thing depleting himself from what he wants. On his birthday ffs! *sigh* Beautiful.

But that's not what I wanted to ask and now that the gushing is over .. if somebody told Sam BEFOREHAND that it's Kaidan's birthday and (I'm most likely thinking about Kara here) roped him into getting him a present - how would that go? Would he buy something? Would he deem it unnecessary? What would it be? Would he wrap it? Give it to Kaidan while nobody's looking?

You have no idea how pleased I am that this moment resonates so much with so many people.

Sam has a weird relationship with birthdays, because he likes the idea of them; he's been trying to be special enough to get noticed by his mother his entire life, so the concept of having a day in which you are treated as special is both alluring and weird, because you get to be special just by existing, which doesn't compute.

In practice, birthdays were a letdown more than they weren't, so he for the most part spends very little time thinking about them. Which makes him bad at birthdays for other people. He's also not a gifts guy. Time spent with a person is far more valuable to him than a gift, so he's a lot more likely to do something that just involves spending time together. For him, that's the gift.

Here's the other thing when it comes to birthdays: he doesn't see the big deal for himself, but making someone else feel special on theirs becomes a mission. It's something that has a bar he can reach - or fail to reach - so he would take making someone else feel special on their birthday very seriously once he understood it was important to them.

Which is why I have no doubt he felt wretched when he realized he'd missed Kaidan's. Maybe it was days later, maybe even months, but he'd eventually realize. By that point he'd know that it was important to Kaidan, and failing to even acknowledge it to someone who means so much to him would be devastating.

What's funny is that he'd try to make up for it by finding a way to spend time together. On Kaidan's birthday would be a squad affair, but now Sam is paying a penance and hoping he'll be forgiven, so it's all eyes on Kaidan, no distractions. Just the two of them.

Basically, in an effort to make it up to him, Sam would more or less accidentally take Kaidan out on a date.

[swaps55]

Fugue - 17 - All The Time

Art by @eluvisen. From left to right, Corporal Muriel Aslany, Lieutenant Commander Kaidan Alenko, and Specialist Kara Pendergrass.

Pairing: mShenko

Rating: M

Tags: Angst, Grief, Major (Canonical) Character Death

Summary: Alchera, and the two-year gap.  

Chapter Summary: Epilogue

Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story. I started writing it in the fall of 2020, and it’s been the most difficult writing journey I’ve ever taken. Writing Fugue was like fighting a war, and there were many times I didn’t think I would get to the end. The story was too ambitious, outside my scope as a writer, and just too difficult to do justice. But it was very important to me, and I wanted to give it my best shot. The fact that I am posting the epilogue is in large part because of everyone who read it, commented on it, supported it, and encouraged me through it. You believed I could do it when I didn’t. Thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart.

Chapter 17: All The Time | Read on Ao3

23 October 2185, Sol System, Local Cluster, Earth, Vancouver

Light rain starts to fall when Kaidan heads back to his parents condo in Vancouver, a fresh jar of saffron tucked into his pocket that will, at least in his mother’s eyes, save dinner from being a disaster.

Shadows from the surrounding skyscrapers loom large in the quickly fading light as he heads up the street and around the corner, wishing he’d thought to bring an umbrella. The rain and wind with winter on its mind make the last eleven weeks he spent at the Villa a distant memory. Should have grabbed a better jacket.

He shakes rain off his boots as he gets in the elevator, checking his omni-tool one more time to make sure his mother hadn’t thought of anything else she’d forgotten, or worse, Pendergrass had found some way to make the oven explode in his absence. Leaving her and Aslany alone in a confined space with his parents feels like a tactical misstep, but the afternoon had passed without incident, if you didn’t count Pendergrass’ elcor sex joke. Which, given his father’s fifty year career in the military, probably wasn’t anything they hadn’t already heard.

Besides, his mother had laughed.

Light and a blast of warmth spill into the hallway when he opens the door, on the heels of Pendergrass’ laughter. The smell of the stew, Khoresh-e Fesenjoon, made special for Aslany, is enough to make his mouth water. He’s pretty sure the saffron isn’t going to make much difference in the end, but you can’t tell his mother that.

Pendergrass and his father stand in the living room, eyes on the photo wall that his mother has so carefully tended over the years. Normally his mother is the one who tries to embarrass him with old photos, but apparently his father is on duty tonight.

Kaidan kicks off his boots in the foyer so he doesn’t track in the rain and heads to the kitchen, where his mother and Aslany peer into a dutch oven. Aslany has a spoon in her hand and a look of concentration on her face.

“Not sweet enough, is it?” Kaidan’s mother says.

Aslany shakes her head. “Needs more molasses.”

“Or saffron,” Kaidan says, handing her the jar.

“Goodness, is it raining?” his mother exclaims at the sight of him. “Hang on, there’s a few spare towels in your old bathroom, and I can grab one of your dad’s sweaters.”

“I can take care of it,” Kaidan tells her with a chuckle, hand on her arm to keep her from charging out of the kitchen. “Take care of the stew.”

“I don’t know, I think Muriel’s got it,” his mother says, offering Aslany a proud grin. “Don’t think I’m even needed here.”

Aslany ducks her chin, flush building at the back of her neck. Leave it to his mother to be able to charm Aslany right out of the gate. His mother straightens his collar and smiles at him. “Thanks for running to the store.”

“Can’t have a chicken stew without saffron,” he says in mock horror. “What would the neighbors think?”

Her smile deepens, and suddenly she tugs him into a hug. She squeezes him tight before she lets him go.

“What was that for?” he asks.

“Good to see you smile again,” she says, before making a face and wiping at her shirt.

Read from the beginning | Read the rest on Ao3 | The Fugue Playlist

[swaps55]

not sure if you play dnd (or if you have the time/energy/interest to look things up), but if so-- what do you think the 'yang gang would be as an adventuring party? either what you think they'd choose to play as if they were playing dnd together or what they'd actually *be* in universe, your choice!

This is a very fun question! I am a terrible role player, especially when I have to do it externally, so I do not play much DnD, but I do love it.

A few of them are no-brainers, others a little trickier. The no-brainers:

Clay Beaudoin: Bard. His words and his charm are the source of his power.

Kara Pendergrass: Artificer, with a specialty in explosions.

Kaidan Alenko: Cleric. Healer who answers to an unshakable moral code.

The trickier ones:

Sam Shepard: I go back and forth between a fighter and a barbarian. He fights like a barbarian, but he isn't driven by rage, and is incredibly strategic and intelligent on the battlefield. He just does everything so BIG and is comfortable with chaos and improvisation. Fighter is still probably the best fit for him.

Muriel Aslany: She's also tough to pin down, because she's got elements of a fighter and a rogue, with a sprinkle of barbarian. She does fight from a place of rage, but she bottles it up until that rage is precise, honed, and hidden in the dark. When she shoots, she does not miss, and you never saw who fired the bullet. She doesn't want to give someone the satisfaction of perceiving her anger. Gun to my head, I'd probably go with rogue.

Now, if they were to PLAY DnD, I imagine Kara would still be an artificer and Clay would still be a bard, insisting on doing a Voice and acting out his performances, though let's be honest - he's the DM.

I can see Aslany choosing a Monk as a player and solving the party's problems by punching. Kaidan would wind up a cleric because last time he tried NOT to be a healer, no one else had any healing and everyone died terribly.

Sam? It depends on whether you get him in a Shepard mood or a Sam mood when they roll characters. If you get Shepard, he probably plays a fighter and gets too into it and takes it too seriously until someone reminds him this is Fun, not Work. If you get Sam, his primary goal is to find a way around Clay's No Krogan in DnD rule, and every game includes that moment where he gets a shit eating grin and does something like cast Wild Shape as a druid at some unexpected moment and becomes a krogan while half the table cackles and the others groan, are you fucking kidding me. He is very creative, can find and exploit every possible loophole, and has succeeded every time.

[swaps55]

speaking of ur playlist: every time I hear a banners song I think of sam and kaidan 😭 I started listening to them bc of you and even their newer stuff that isn't in your playlist makes these dorks appear in my mind's eye

(also have you shared the yang gang's drink recipes yet? im Intrigued)

Oh gosh, BANNERS. I don't know if I've ever heard a Banners song I couldn't make an OTP song. I have half a first kiss AU written to In Your Universe. Do I have a story for it? Nope. But the vibes.

The drink recipes! All courtesy of @pip-n-flinx.

Clay Beaudoin's Paloma

Muriel Aslany's 151 Swizzle

Alma Ingram's Egg Nog & Kara Pendergrass' Firestorm

Kaidan Alenko's Sack Sipper (scroll down to the bottom of the post)

Sam Shepard's Govorkam's Roar

[swaps55]

*screaming into a pillow*

I FUCKING CALLED IT

I KNEW IT WOULD BE KARA

I was literally mulling over the ways Horizon would go a couple of chapters back, when Hannah tells Hackett to send Kaidan to lure Sam out (which I think is a SUPERB twist, by the way, but more on that in a moment), and while I was not expecting Muriel Aslany to shatter my heart before you even got to the meat of the Horizon mission, goddamn if I'm not sitting here vibrating impatiently for the next chapter because SWAPS HOW COULD YOU?

I mean, I know how, it's brilliantly done and you should be so proud of it oh my God but HOW?

I CANNOT WAIT for an eventual Pendergrass POV now. She's the perfect "person on the inside," as it were, and you set it up so well. This line in particular really sells it: "Yeah, she's not nearly as oblivious as she seems. She's just good at not seeing what she doesn't want to." Pendergrass is about to see so. many. things. that no one wants to see. That she's not going to have a CHOICE but to see. Is she going to be up close and personal for the... emulsifying? En-goo-en-ing? (whatever you want to call turning people into a human reaper via sludge-based means) Whatever happens to her in there, she's going to process it and deal with the fallout so differently than anyone else in the cast would, and I am here. for. it. I'm so excited to see how her arc plays out.

(Also, Kaidan telling Aslany to keep her out of trouble and then THIS? We're gonna gloss over it but it done did hurt my heart and you should know)

Okay, back to Hannah for a second. So, in this version of events, Hannah Shepard is directly responsible for sending Kaidan and the gang to Horizon. If she doesn't intervene, THEY DON'T GO. She goes through the motions of learning Sam might be alive and thinks, "give him something he wants," looking at it through Sam's SOLDIER'S perspective. Because she only knows the soldier.

And as a result, she puts three of Sam's most beloved people directly in the line of fire, throwing all three of them at the mercy of genocidal bugs. In one fell swoop, she has completely unmoored him, and HE'S NOT EVEN THERE YET! He doesn't know! The main tether he could have had connecting him back to Sam the Person (TM) has been cut and he doesn't even know it yet and his mother was the reason why.

"If that is my son, I want him back."

Ma'am, if those three die, I don't think Sam comes back. Where he's at right now, I'm even willing to go so far as to say I don't even think SHEPARD would. I don't think Anderson or Garrus or any of his other friends save him at that point.

Mezzo!Sam is already fucked up ten ways from Sunday, I don't want to imagine the alternate timeline where he loses them all basically right after he wakes up. That's a bad reality.

I am so so so SO tempted to ask you if Sam ever finds out she was responsible for the gang being on Horizon. To ask you if he does find out, if he forgives her for using them as bait. How does that change their estranged relationship? Hell, I want to know if KAIDAN finds out, how he'll react. I will be patient. I will wait to find out. But I am DYING to know. It is SUCH a gut punch for Hannah to be such a big part of the reason Horizon happens the way it does. I'm enthralled. It's masterfully done. I want every damn reader of this fic to stand and applaud you.

God, the next chapter's gonna hurt bad, isn't it? How dare you make me feel my own feelings

...I'm so excited tho

I'll end this ask on an actual ask for once instead of just enthusiastically yelling: what are the 'Yang gang's favorite toaster pastry flavors? A new Opus!verse Pivotal Food Item (TM) just dropped, so I figure I should get in on the action while they're fresh and hot (out of the TOASTER, Pendergrass)

I have been sitting on this ask ONLY because I wanted to give folks a chance to catch up if they didn't want to be spoiled, but please know this DELIGHTED me.

It had to be Kara. For a lot of reasons that . And you are correct, it is a BAD reality if Sam loses all three of them. He doesn't come back from that.

Re: Hannah Shepard, I have given a LOT of thought to the questions you posed about whether or not Sam and/or Kaidan find out, and how they react, or would react. I think I have the answers to both, and they will be covered eventually in Opus.

And the poptart question!

That whole scene is actually a nod to a post I made eons ago about exactly this question, and it remains the best breakdown of the 'Yang gang's personalities to date.

[swaps55]

The 'Yang Gang Approach to Problem Solving

Sam Shepard: We solve the problem by any means necessary.

Kaidan Alenko: We think about the problem.

Muriel Aslany: We punch the problem.

Kara Pendergrass: We throw a grenade at the problem.

Clay Beaudoin: We make it someone else's problem and go out for drinks.

[swaps55]

Fugue - 14 - Remember We Flew

Pairing: mShenko

Rating: M

Tags: Angst, Grief, Major (Canonical) Character Death

Summary: Alchera, and the two-year gap.  

Chapter Summary: A familiar enemy reappears. Hackett uncovers a mystery. Kaidan does some reflection.

Thanks to @shadesofmauve for betaing!

Chapter 14: Remember We Flew | Read on Ao3

14 July 2184, Pylos Nebula, Nariph System, Jonus Orbit, SSV Ain Jalut

Finding Aslany in the medbay once he gets through decontamination doesn’t do much to improve Kaidan’s mood. His hands still tremble and he has to force his jaw to relax and his teeth to unclench as he walks in. His heart still beats in his ears. 

She sits on a biobed impatiently kicking her feet while the doctor, an older gentleman who’d served in the Blitz, runs a dermal regenerator over a bullet wound in her left arm.

“What happened?” Kaidan demands.

“Fucker knew the ship layout better than I did and doubled back on me,” she says with an uninterested shrug of her good shoulder. “Tagged me good, but I’ve had worse. And he got his.”

Kaidan scowls, trying to replay where and when it could have happened in those adrenaline-fueled minutes. “I never got a flag on your hardsuit.”

“Shut off the emergency feed.”

A fresh stab of anger runs him through. ���That’s against protocol, Corporal.”

“You had your hands full,” she says, unfazed. “Just triage. Bullet wound wasn’t going to matter much if we all exploded.”

And they almost had. He shudders, shaking off the memory of the rush of dark energy across his nerves when the Normandy’s drive core had gone up.

But the Broken Arrow is still intact. So are they. 

He unclenches his jaw again.

The doctor eyes them both with the expression of someone who is used to overhearing sensitive conversations and has a lot of practice keeping his opinions to himself.

We have to work on our fucking communication, Kaidan thinks. Kara Pendergrass is his first project on that front, but not until he calms down enough to deal with her in a way that might actually be helpful for either of them. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Work the problem right in front of you. Do your job. 

“All right. We’ll come back to that one later. What do we know about our captive?”

“He’s not Rumoi, and he’s not Eclipse,” Aslany replies. “He ain’t saying much. And he was wearing an insignia I didn’t recognize.”

“What was the logo?”

Aslany reaches for a datapad lying at the head of the bed, trying not to earn the doctor’s ire. Kaidan makes an exasperated sound and grabs it for her. She taps a few keys and hands it to him, a narrow white hexagon framed in orange bars displayed on the screen. He blinks at it, forcing the gears to turn until the answer clicks.

“Cerberus,” he murmurs.  

Read from the beginning | Read the rest on Ao3 | The Fugue Playlist