#dinchenrockt

[swaps55]

After I read your latest Mezzo chapter (Chef’s kiss!) I started another reread of the whole series. (The fifth? Sixth? I lost track ^^) Anyway, I just came across the “MSV Fleur de Lis” incident that ends in Wong being expelled from the team and consists of one of the few (if not the only) glimpses we get on how Sam is around children.

Not for the first time I thought about your take on whether or not he and Kaidan will be having kids in the future. I can totally relate to Kaidan’s way of thinking - not wanting to “burden” Sam with another responsibility but making it possible for him to live a life just for himself. And nobody else.

I was wondering - do you think they’ll talk about this? Is that a decision they make together? Or is it just Kaidan who decides for the both of them without actually telling Sam? Will that ever be a topic? What would Sam do if he realizes at one point that Kaidan gave something up for him? Assuming Kaidan would like to have kids ..

This is a really excellent question with a complicated answer because their writer makes it complicated. Kids are unfortunately a very sensitive subject for me to write about (this question is absolutely fine or I wouldn't have answered it), so in essence I am making this decision for them and backing into why it's in character, because a life with kids is not something I can write about.

I'm saying this mostly to give a peek into some of the writing process. Especially in fanfic, where events and decisions and character beats can come predefined, sometimes the question you have to ask yourself isn't "how does this character respond to X," it's "this character responded to X with Y, why did that happen?" In this case I am defining the character response to this question because it's a boundary for me, but now it's my job as the writer to make sure that decision feels in character.

Anyway - do Sam and Kaidan talk about this decision? Probably, even if it doesn't wind up on the page. You're right - Sam is good with kids. I wanted that glimpse you get in Cantata to show that. There's a Cantata-era story I really, really want to find the time to write that is based around the thought that sometimes we become the people we needed when we were young. I think part off the reason Sam is good with kids comes from the fact that he grew up with an inattentive, distant parent, so he gives kids his full attention. Also, he had an interrupted childhood. There's a part of him that didn't get to be a kid, so kids bring out the kid in him that never got to be.

But I do think the fact he is so much like his mother would scare him when it comes to the possibility of parenthood. He might bring up kids thinking that it's something Kaidan might want, and Sam's a giver. But he'd probably feel a lot trepidation over the suggestion, and relief when Kaidan kindly, but firmly says no.

Kaidan knows Sam, and knows how easily he'll compromise himself to make someone he cares about happy, so he might keep it close to the vest why he doesn't want kids. Because if Sam sniffs out that it's because Kaidan doesn't want Sam to have to feel that pressure, he'd probably push back thinking he's taking something away from Kaidan.

But I think Kaidan believes it for himself, too. They have given up so much and done so much, that they deserve to be a little selfish. He's shared Sam with an entire galaxy for years. In many ways, Commander Shepard will always belong to other people. So wanting to keep Sam for himself is something I can see him feeling, and wanting to relieve Sam of the need to give up more of himself for kids would make it easier for him to want that out loud.

I think I might have said this before, so forgive me if I'm repeating it, but I do think that Sam has a lot of contact with Tuchanka after the war, and a sort of unspoken trend of krogan mothers bringing their young to Sam as a form of "pilgrimage" gains steam in the aftermath. He makes a lot of trips to Tuchanka, and krogan are known to bring their children to the orchard.

Helping to bring future generations to the krogan would be a type of 'fatherhood' Sam would be very, very proud of.

[msgwendolenfairfax]

I was tagged by @tinnike, which is a very welcome distraction because my uterus is trying to kill me right now by reenacting Gremlins. Thank you!

rules: spell your url with song titles and then tag as many people as there are letters

M ary Jane's Last Dance - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

S ee You In Hell - Monster Magnet

G rand Canyon - Puscifer

W elcome Home (Sanitarium) - Metallica

E veryone I Love Is Dead - Type O Negative

N arayan - The Prodigy

D ante's Prayer - Loreena McKennitt

O nly - Nine Inch Nails

L ounge Act - Nirvana

E verything Glows - D-A-D

N ew Day - Karnivool

F ollowed the Waves - Melissa Auf Der Maur

A Forest - The Cure

I Walk the Line - Alien Sex Fiend

R efuse / Resist - Sepultura

F lood II - Sisters Of Mercy

A Sorta Fairytale - Tori Amos

No E X cuses - Alice In Chains (I cheated, no excuses!)

Punkrock, fuck the rules, I only tag @symmetr-eye @dinchenrockt @iinchicore and @disengaged.

[ao3feed-mshenko]

Biotic Shenanigans

by DinchenRockt

Shepard has a wicked idea, Biotics are involved, Kaidan is interested, smut ensues ..

Words: 2347, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Kaidan Alenko, Male Shepard (Mass Effect)

Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard

Additional Tags: PWP, Misuse of Biotics, Established Relationship, Gay Sex

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/45428209

[mithrilhearts]

↳ NOW ON AO3!

Thank you so much for sending me this beautiful prompt, @dinchenrockt​, I had such a fun time with it!! Also, thank you so much for your continued support, it is very much appreciated!!

So he went to Dwalin–a dwarf whose craft was bloodier than most, but Bilbo wasn’t sure who he could go to with such a request on his hands, and even if those hands of his shook something fierce, he would not be deterred from his course of action. Not this time. Items were fine and dandy, like stitched handkerchiefs and engraved wooden trinkets, but what he was asking for was something he would never lose.

“Dwalin?” Bilbo poked his head into the training arena, watching the burly dwarf smack at a dummy with one of his fists, a new (and better) set of knuckle-dusters coating his hands that were far more intimidating than the last. Bilbo didn’t squirm, even as Dwalin’s gaze settled on him. This was a friend and one that Bilbo felt comfortable with–much like family. “Might I trouble you in…helping me with something?”

“Aye.”

It was a simple and straightforward response, and for a moment Bilbo wished Dwalin had been wordier. “Yes, um, well…I was wondering if you might be able to help me secure…one of those…” Bilbo pointed a jittery hand towards Dwalin’s hands, not thinking to be a bit more specific.

The laugh that escaped Dwalin though was one of those sounds that Bilbo should have been delighted to hear. A belly laugh straight from the gut and echoing within the stone room they were currently conversing in. “A pair of these?” Dwalin held up his fists, clenching them tightly as if he were about to throw out a few jabs.

“What–no! Not those! Goodness knows I don’t plan on throwing hands anytime soon!” Bilbo fussed rather quickly, not even wanting to imagine him attacking anything with his bare hands as the burly dwarf might do.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Rammstein radio interview Paul Landers 1997 - English translation

Gave the english translation a shot, as good and bad as I could make it out (if someone has corrections, please let me know). Paul is really on a roll in this interview and basically keeps on talking, sometimes rambling so far he has to backtrack to finish his story. I decided to keep the rambling part in, because it's actually part of the fun of hearing him talking 😊 (at the end are some footnotes with the translation).

Edited to add a couple of additions (outfit at first concert, what music he listens to incl footnote 4) thanks to @dinchenrockt 😘

--------------------

Voiceover: Rammstein, at the latest since this year not an insidertip anymore. Stefan Rieger has portrayed the group and interviewed one of the two guitarists, Paul.

Paul: Calling ourselves Rammstein was nonsense really, it was a bit like a nickname, like when  someone is nicknamed 'Dummy' *1) and no one knows why he is called 'Dummy' but everybody calls him 'Dummy', you know *2) someone will ask "Why are you called 'Dummy'?" It just got stuck like that, 'Rammstein'. And then we considered what to call ourselves: 'Milk' or 'Weir', 'Forest' but it all didn't sound quite right. 'Rammstein' just stuck. It had to do with a. that, b. with the force of the disaster itself, then with the force of the double 'm', then it had to do with the sound and also we think it describes the music really well.

VO: The Rammstein bandmembers are no novices in the musicbusiness. Most of them have been involved in various projects for years. Paul and Flake played for 12 years with east-berlin cult-group 'Feeling B'

P: We all had a band, every man for himself, a couple of guys played with 'Feeling B' and the bassplayer played with 'The Inchtabokatables' etcetera etcetera and parallel to these bands we fooled around in the basement and called that 'Rammstein'. That was like a sideproject. And after a while..eh..the individual bands broke up and we just did this sideproject which then wasn't a sideproject anymore and that was Rammstein. That's how it started and the first concert we ever played was at the NaTo to 15 people *3), and Till wore two sunglasses, no fireworks was set off, so it was quite peaceful, we wore black turtleneck sweaters.

VO: To 'The Inchtabokatables' singer B.Breuler Rammstein's succes is no coincidence.

B. Breuler: Good music, which uses german language and an interesting way of using their stuff with elements that weren't covered in the previous bands. Who else did those sampled guitars in german music, that is relatively new..

VO: Musical influences on Rammstein

P: I like no *4) music at all, Till likes dark, Flake listens to, he only has one cassettetape which has Johnny Cash on it, Schneider listens to Techno, Oliver listens to Industrial, the bassplayer, and Sven listens to whatever is new, that's all of us. Well all of us don't really have rolemodels, we just have rolemodels like 'Pantera', well not really rolemodels, we like them. I like music, no matter from which direction, it has to be individual. Last ones that were individual were 'Metallica', 'Pantera' and 'Prodigy' and such, the individual bands I know personally, apart from that there is some more stuff that's hot but not as groundbreaking. We are not really groundbreaking either, but there is some... I like it when music is individual, no matter where it's from. All of it influences us technically, or none of it.

VO: The Rammstein boom has reached unexpected dimensions. The in september 1995 published CD 'Herzeleid' is19th in the german salescharts. The single 'Engel' is 4th in the singlecharts and concerts are usually sold out.

P: Well no one believes us, and you don't believe it yourself, that it wasn't planned, that is, we did have a concept, but we didn't expect..we didn't want fame and we didn't want to be rich and we also didn't want in 'Bravo' *5), that is, we just wanted, or I wanted just to annoy, that was our main concern, fun at annoying people and nothing more. With 'Feeling B' everything always had to be fun, we just wanted to be wellbehaved and stuff, now we didn't want to behave, wanted to cause a little trouble, basically we did the opposite of what you should do to be succesful. We have really disgusting evil guitars, distorted, and played really slow, and did really disgusting lyrics which get to you, and then suddenly everyone think it is good. It's like you spit in a corner or Joseph Beuys *6) shits in a corner and everyone thinks it is good, that is, he probably also thought "Are these people crap?" that is, not that the people are shit, well maybe they are, but not because of this...ehm... I like that something that is really totally extreme...in the beginning we wanted to be just extreme, and now we have a nice succes with it, not that we mind that now or something...what I think is funny, was something I read today in a newspaper "The most hyped german band", well basically we are the exact opposite, that is, we are the most blocked german band, unfortunately nobody hyped us, MTV cancelled us immediately after we made a little stink there, Viva one time said "You shit band won't come to us", the magazine called 'Musik Expresse' didn't want to publish us, so unfortunately nobody hyped us. Just by simply blunt, dull being there we have achieved succes, but with succes comes pressure, when I think in hindsight where that comes from..from other directions, from directions you can't plan, that you can't... eh.. decide on yourself, that is, when you say "I want a pretty woman, who is clever, has a car and a spotted dog and so on".. you can't decide on that, you just have to wait who comes along.. A tip I can give to someone who wants to be famous, just choose music that is totally 'Out' and then persevere for 7 years...so totally..like 'Easy listening' or such, when you play 'Schlager' for 15 years, it will be modern again..

VO: Impossible to imagine Rammstein without the german lyrics, with extreme-sounding content that has led to excitement in some media that have only now discovered the group. That however has hardly damaged Rammstein. Another effect of the german lyrics is that fans can sing along with the songs in concerts. The seaman-song *7), for instance, the singer leaves to the audience almost completely, to that the keyboarder sways in a dinghy over the heads of the crowd, carried by many hands.

P: 'Seeman', for instance, was a joke, we were fooling around in the rehearsalroom and the bassplayer used this grip 'die-die-die die-die' and so on, and then Till in a pitiful way 'Come in my boat..' *8) and we all kneeled in the rehearsalroom, it was a gag, and then we played it three times and all thought it was good and then we thought "my god, the effect is so shit, let's just do it", so we are funny enough to just do it. With 'Feeling B', for instance, we weren't allowed to do funny stuff like that, that is, stuff that is actually embarassing, we weren't allowed to. The embarassing thing to go through the crowd with the dinghy is actually something people like, a bit like a circusact, 'Rock circus Rammstein invites', we did it one time, all yelled, we didn't know that.

VO: In the american movie 'Lost Highway' by David Lynch two Rammstein songs are used at key points. In connection to the movie, the mystical atmosphere of the songs particularly come to fruition.

P: At the time we wanted to shoot our first songs we sent a CD to all directors we liked for the musicvideo, and not video-directors but movie-directors, at which no one replied, and then, 3/4 year later a call came "Hello, this is.." in english that is "this is the productioncompany of David Lynch, for our next movie 'Lost highway' *9) we want to use 2 of your songs". Well, we thought "Nah, we don't want that, no, nope" then we said well why not and now it's like, how can I explain, it's like when you have a painting that no one knows, you think someone just made a little doodle on it and then people say "Ah no, that's a Picasso..", "Oh, so that's a *Picasso*, that's really great", you know? The same thing happens with us, which we think is funny, that Rammstein now means something because David Lynch likes it. And the importance that is created because of that, I think..well I don't understand it...to me it's like this...whoever makes somewhat interesting music that is individual, yes...eh..then something happens because of it, you know, that is, if I were an american I would like Rammstein too, because..at last something non-american, you know? They are happy because usually when someone comes over from Europe, it's always a band of which they have a better original at home, you know? In Europe you see few bands, well few individual bands, that is, when I go to Poland I would like to have a polish refrain in my metal song, and when I go to Russia, I want a distorted Balalaika or something, you know, I want to hear individual music and almost no one does that, and when someone does it.. *10)

VO: Current Rammstein single 'Engel' is the first extract from the CD 'Sehnsucht' which is due to be published in August. The part of the angel is performed by Bobo who came to fame with her band 'Bobo in White Wooden Houses'. Bobo's voice comes to fruition in the spherical and slightly melancholical content of the song.

P: Bobo is quite simply a friend of ours and ehm.. she was actually only intended to sing along to a few refrains, softly in the background and when she was warbling around in the studio we got the idea, let's, and before Till sang that part, do "Only when the clouds go to sleep, one can see them in the sky, they are afraid and are alone, God knows I don't want to be an angel" *11) we said "Bobo, why don't you sing 'Only when the clouds go to sleep, one can see *us* in the sky'" and so on, and she did, and she thought it was shit, said "No, I can't sing as sweet as that", because normally she sings..she sings more artistic and not that 'schlager'-like, you know, "Come on, sing really 'schlager' like a little angel" and she didn't want that either, that is, she didn't and most of the band didn't want it either, nobody wanted it, you know, nobody really liked it, we thought, because it sounded really silly *12) and then we thought "crap, let's leave it out" and then we put the part on mute, and then we thought "hmm", it was a bit like a cloud in front of the sun, it isn't as nice anymore, so we put the cloud away again and then it was nice again and then we simply kept it that way.

Translation notes:

*1) Paul uses the word 'Borstel' which can have more meanings, but in this case he is making a comparison with someone having a silly fictional nickname, so I went with 'Dummy'

*2) one of his often used Berliner expressions is 'Weeste', in official german this would be 'Weist du'; I translated it with 'you know'.

*3) more info on this first gig https://rammwiki.net/wiki/24.03.1994_(concert)

*4) I couldn't figure it out, but what he says is in Berlinisch 'jar keene', in german 'gar keine', meaning he doesn't like any music (somehow I think this is a very 'Paul' reply 😊)

*5) 'Bravo' is the largest teen magazine in Germany

*6) Paul mispronounces the name at first and corrects himself

*7) 'Seeman'

*8) 'Komm in mein Boot'

*9) Paul actually uses the german name 'Verlorene Landstrasse', took me a while to realise what he meant

*10) Here his sentence is cut off in the broadcast, I feel he said something after it..

*11) "Erst wenn die Wolken schlafen gehen, kann man sie am Himmel sehen, sie haben Angst und sind allein, Gott weiß ich will kein engel sein"

*12) Paul giggles at that 😊

[jaskier-the-bard]

All Cried Out Chapter 2: Hangover

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter Warnings: Implied/Referenced torture, forced stripping, and kidnapping 

Taglist: @theflamboyantstranger @dinchenrockt @this-is-whump-dammit @avengerssherlocknerd @rock-on-the-radio @sarcasmwithasideofsass @spookylostboy @borncreativity @darknightchan @sayoonnor @passionfangjrl @master-of-apostrophes @hologh0st @wickedrum @jemenszi @jacksnervesofsteel @ironwinterhawk @baldyxavier @watanukidomeki @tyrala1 @not-so-daily-shit-of-a-fangirl @pandabearlawliet @sapphic--nerd @widevibratobitch

When Jaskier woke up, his entire body ached. He groaned when he tried to move, his limbs screaming in protest. He stayed on the ground, closing his eyes and taking deep, shaking breaths. It hurt too much to open his eyes, even though the only source of light was a dim, grey glow filtering in from a tiny barred window. Jaskier's wrists hung heavy with thick iron shackles that matched the ones around his ankles. He sighed, sitting up and leaning against the wall, cringing at the dampness and the mold growing on the bricks. He wanted to move, but he knew he wouldn't have the energy to keep himself upright. Jaskier grimaced as his cell door opened, flooding the room with light. A man dressed in all black with a mask over his face grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him to his feet.

"Let go of me!" Jaskier growled, yanking his wrist away and throwing a punch at the man. His fist was easily stopped, and the next thing he knew he was on the ground clutching a most likely broken wrist, gasping for air through his pain. He was pulled off the ground by his hair and dragged out of the room, his chains scraping against the stone floor below. He hissed and squeezed his eyes shut as he was pulled through a sunlit hallway, the light nearly blinding him and making his head pound. Jaskier was brought into a room similar to his cell, only bigger, and with various unpleasant tools hanging from the walls that were stained with blood. A man in a hooded cloak that covered his face stood in front of a bloodstained table with shackles on either end. Jaskier trembled as he was forced to his knees, his knuckles white as his nails dug into his palms. He ignored the throbbing it caused in his wrist.

"You've brought the prisoner?" the man asked gruffly, folding his arms across his chest. Jaskier dared to look up and his blood ran cold at the sight of two black eyes staring directly at him. He quickly ducked his head back down. "Seems timid. It should be easy enough. You're dismissed." The cloaked man shooed the guard away with a wave of his hand, and then Jaskier was left alone with him. The man stood, clasping his hands behind his back and approaching the terrified bard.

"If you cooperate, there is nothing for you to be afraid of," the man said, patting Jaskier on the head. The bard shivered, flinching away from his touch.

"Well, that's reassuring," Jaskier spat, his voice shaking despite the venom behind his words. The stranger chuckled, his eyes sparkling dangerously, and he pulled Jaskier to his feet by his wrists. Jaskier's head reeled and he stumbled backward, black dots dancing in his vision. He felt his throat burn as a wave of nausea hit him and he doubled over dry heaving. His captor rolled his eyes before shoving Jaskier towards the table.

"Strip. You may keep on your underclothing. Then get onto the table." Jaskier glared at the man before seizing up against, coughing as a bit of bile bubbled up in his throat. He spat it out, grimacing at the foul taste it left in his mouth. He heard a sigh. "You're hungover, aren't you?" the man asked. He didn't respond, clutching his stomach and trembling slightly. The man grabbed him by the back of his shirt and forced Jaskier to face him before forcing a vial of liquid down his throat. Jaskier tried not to swallow it, but it was soon sliding down the back of his throat. He waited fearfully for some terrible reaction to take place; fire in his veins perhaps, or maybe his flesh would dissolve from the inside out. To his surprise, his nausea began to fade and his head cleared. His wrist even began to stop hurting, a faint popping sound coming from it and the blues and purples fading to light yellow splotches.

"How-"

"You're not the one asking questions here. Strip and get on the table," the man barked. Jaskier flinched and quickly obeyed, taking off his pants and shirt before getting up on the table. He was pushed down by his chest and then his ankles and wrists were placed in cuffs, shackled so that he could barely move. His breathing was shaky and he closed his eyes, trying to calm down. if he complied he'd be alright. This would be fine. Surely, what they wanted wouldn't be of too much importance. To Jaskier, anyway. "So...you're friends with Geralt of Rivia, correct?" the man asked, turning his back to Jaskier and studying the tools on the walls. Jaskier strained his neck to see what he was doing.

"I- Well, sort of, we're more acquaintances than friends, I'd say," he said quickly. When the man turned back to look at him, Jaskier whipped his head back to stare up at the ceiling. Cool drops of water dripped down from the stone below and fell on Jaskier's body, making him shiver.

"Regardless, you traveled with him, yes? You're the one who wrote all those songs about him?" the man asked impatiently. Jaskier paled as he heard a loud grating sound and he flinched when the interrogator set something beside him with a loud thud.

"Y-Yes, yes I did," Jaskier stammered. He glanced at the thing beside him and all the color drained from his face. He had no idea what the thing was, but there were a lot of spikes and sharp blades sticking out of it. He closed his eyes.

"What do you know about the girl traveling with him?" Jaskier's mouth twitched.

"Which one?" he commented smartly. His smart mouth was rewarded with a punch to the stomach. He groaned as all the air rushed from his lungs, twisting slightly in his cuffs. "That was a serious question! He's been with a lot of women, alright?" he huffed. Even Jaskier was surprised at the humor he managed to conjure in a situation like this.

"Well, this isn't a woman. She's young, about twelve years old. Nilfgaard has taken an...interest...in her." Jaskier stiffened. Geralt was traveling with a child? The bard faintly recalled Geralt mentioning a child of surprise, a princess that Geralt was promised when he saved her parents. Now, Jaskier may have had his qualms with Geralt, but he would not do anything to harm a child. He kept his mouth shut, biting his lip and clenching his fists in defiance. This was going to hurt like a bitch. The man stared down at a moment and sighed, shaking his head as he lifted the tool off of the table and set it down.

"What a shame. I hoped this thing would intimidate you into talking, but it appears not. We'll start off light; don't want to kill you before I've had the chance to get anything out of you," the interrogator joked, a smirk on his face as he pulled something from his belt. Jaskier closed his eyes.

Geralt and Cirilla were headed North. The young princess was asleep, riding on Roach's back as Geralt guided the horse down the rough dirt path. They'd been traveling all night, Geralt taking the princess with him the minute that they were reunited in the woods. He couldn't stop looking at her. He had a child, a daughter if you would. How would this correlate with his lifestyle? How could he protect her from the entire nation of Nilfgaard single-handedly? As Geralt's mind reeled, he couldn't help but wish that Jaskier was there. The bard had always liked children, or so he told Geralt. He'd mentioned having a nephew he'd taken care of until the boy was old enough to fend for himself while his parents weren't at home. He probably had a better idea of what to do than Geralt ever could.

"Geralt?" Cirilla sat up on the horse, her eyes still drooping heavily with sleep. Geralt quickly stopped Roach, coming to his horse's side and looking up at the princess.

"Yes? Are you alright?" he asked, trying to keep his voice monotone as usual but unable to keep away the anxious edge. Ciri smiled a bit.

"I'm fine...just hungry. Is there any chance that we could get something to eat?" Damn it. Geralt hadn't even thought about food. Well, he had, but only for himself. What did Cirilla even like? Did she have any allergies? Geralt was going to get the princess killed on their first day together. Jaskier probably would have bet on those odds too. His heart sank but he tried to ignore it.

"I think there's a pub up ahead. Do you think you can manage a little longer, princess?" Geralt asked. Cirilla smiled again.

"You can call me Ciri, please, no need for formalities. And yes, I'll be alright." Geralt grunted and nodded, getting back on the road again. Perhaps Jaskier would be at the pub performing. He did like his ale and the company that came with it. Maybe this would be Geralt's chance to apologize to the bard. As they rounded the next corner, the pub Geralt had been speaking of came into view. It was small and neat, with a post to tie horses to standing outside and a cobblestone path leading up to the door. It seemed to be more of an inn than a tavern, but inns had food. Geralt tied Roach to the post and helped Cirilla down, holding her hand as they walked in through the door. Geralt approached the counter and placed a pouch of gold coins down in front of the bartender.

"All of the food and drink this will buy," he said. He glanced back at Ciri and cleared his throat. "Ah...I have a kid with me, so, um...only one mug of ale, the rest water. Thanks." The bartender nodded and busied himself making the food and drink. Geralt carried the mug of ale and four cases of water back to the table. "The food will be out soon. Drink this," he said, handing one of the glasses of water to the princess. Cirilla took it gratefully, gulping down the water. The bartender came with their food momentarily, and Cirilla looked hungrily at the plates of hot food. She looked at Geralt for permission, and when the witcher nodded, she pulled one of the plates towards her and began to eat. Two boys at a nearby table stopped their conversation, eyes widening as they saw the witcher and Cirilla sitting together. Geralt sighed and took a swig of ale as the two teenagers approached, whispering to each other.

"Are...are you Geralt of Rivia?" one of the boys asked, taking his hat off and fidgeting with it. Geralt sighed and nodded. Cirilla watched on with interest. The two young men immediately perked up. "You know Jaskier then, right? The bard?" He nodded curtly. "He's been taken. We thought you ought to know." Geralt choked on the ale that he had begun to drink, coughing and spluttering, wiping the liquid dribbling down his face with the back of his hand.

"Taken? What do you mean?" Geralt asked. The one boy, the one with his hat off, shrugged and looked at the other boy.

"We mean he was kidnapped, sir. Jaskier was staying with my mother- his sister, see- and he came here last night to perform. I saw him leave the bar with a few men and they forced him into a wagon. They looked like Nilfgaard soldiers," the young man explained. Geralt inhaled sharply.

"Then he's in danger," he muttered. The boy nodded and swallowed thickly.

"Please, sir, I...I know you got into a fight the last time you saw one another, but he's my uncle...can you save him?" The boy looked at Geralt with pleading eyes. Geralt clenched his jaw. Of course Jaskier had told his family about their fight...why shouldn't he, though? He had a right to talk about things that upset him. Geralt took a deep breath.

"I'll set out in the morning. Tell your mother that her brother will be brought back safely," Geralt promised. The boy gasped and flung his arms around Geralt's neck, hugging him tightly. The witcher, caught off guard, gave a grunt and pat the boy on the back awkwardly. The young man pulled away, rushing out the door, his friend quickly following. Geralt turned back to his drink, but his stomach was churning. What would Nilfgaard want with a bard?

"Are you alright?" Ciri asked timidly, looking up from her food and tilting her head. Geralt mustered up a smile, not wanting her to be frightened.

"Yes, I'm fine. Go back to your dinner. We'll be staying in a room here tonight." Cirilla complied, leaving Geralt to stew away in his mangled thoughts.

[hanhan156]

Tag 8 people you want to know better

Thanks @giogio-xp for the tag! I tried to recall have I done this before, but I think I haven’t so here we go.

Favorite Color: Purple.

Last Song I Listened To: Damn, I can’t remember... maybe “Move it” by Hotei & Richard.

Favorite Musicians: Tool, Rammstein, The Doors, Black Sabbath, Rush, Mew, Massive Attack and lots of others I can’t remember now when my brain is mushy. I listen to a lot of soundtracks so I can’t always remember who are the artists even though I like the songs, lol.

Last Movie Watched: It’s been weeks since I watched a movie. Maybe Back To the Future III?

Last TV Show Watched: Black Mirror.

Favorite OC’s: Original characters or...? From my own writing or from someone else’s? I have no idea. :D

Sweet, Spicy or Savory: Spicy, I don’t have a huge sweet tooth.

Bubbly water, Tea or Coffee: Bubbly water and tea, please.

I tag @dinchenrockt @soronya @mcrmadness @paljonkaikenlaista @sielustaja @mechanicalbride16 @ukulelette @cherrisplace if you feel like it. :3

[hanramm156]

Thanks for the tags @ukulelette and @soronya !

Still some goals to reach... I need the autographs, damn it. ._.

I’ll tag @mcrmadness @milliondegrees and @dinchenrockt if you haven’t done this yet!

[swaps55]

Something I often think about: Is there ever one (probably awkward) meeting between Kaidan and Hannah after Sam is back and they're officially together?

Like .. "Heyyy .. Last time you asked me about him I was devastated cause I had just lost my boyfriend whom I've loved secretly for years but only got to have recently and it killed me so in my head I begged you to stop asking questions .. How are you, Captain?"

What an awesome question.

Kaidan and Hannah will absolutely have future interactions, and I imagine his relationship with her is VERY complicated.

There are several possibilities brewing for Mezzo and the ME3 story (called Requiem) that could influence this relationship very heavily, but regardless of if/how they play out, Hannah will be a presence in Sam and Kaidan's post-war lives, and she and Kaidan will interact. How and when their relationship is revealed to her is still a work in progress.

It'll be interesting. Very interesting. :D

[swaps55]

I still occasionally get that random pain in my chest over Cantata's:

“I’ll let you work,” Kaidan says softly.

“Yeah,” Shepard says with a distracted wave of his hand.

The door swishes back open. Kaidan looks over his shoulder before he goes, drumming his fingers on the frame.

(Once I earn N7, things will change)

He walks back into the corridor and lets the door swish closed behind him.

Beaudoin claps him on the back when he returns to the lounge and hands him a beer.

“Can’t drag him out of his hole, huh?”

“Nah,” Kaidan says. “He’s busy.”

On the far side of the room, Aslany yells when Stabby bops her in the ankle right as she throws a dart at the new dartboard, while Pendergrass laughs gleefully.

Beaudoin gives him a sympathetic look, then loops an arm around his shoulders and steers him towards the dartboard.

“Happy birthday, Alenko.”

Kaidan takes a sip of his beer, and digs up a smile. “Thanks.”

Gosh, that hurts so beautifully. Sam being laser focused and Kaidan stepping back to give him room to do his thing depleting himself from what he wants. On his birthday ffs! *sigh* Beautiful.

But that's not what I wanted to ask and now that the gushing is over .. if somebody told Sam BEFOREHAND that it's Kaidan's birthday and (I'm most likely thinking about Kara here) roped him into getting him a present - how would that go? Would he buy something? Would he deem it unnecessary? What would it be? Would he wrap it? Give it to Kaidan while nobody's looking?

You have no idea how pleased I am that this moment resonates so much with so many people.

Sam has a weird relationship with birthdays, because he likes the idea of them; he's been trying to be special enough to get noticed by his mother his entire life, so the concept of having a day in which you are treated as special is both alluring and weird, because you get to be special just by existing, which doesn't compute.

In practice, birthdays were a letdown more than they weren't, so he for the most part spends very little time thinking about them. Which makes him bad at birthdays for other people. He's also not a gifts guy. Time spent with a person is far more valuable to him than a gift, so he's a lot more likely to do something that just involves spending time together. For him, that's the gift.

Here's the other thing when it comes to birthdays: he doesn't see the big deal for himself, but making someone else feel special on theirs becomes a mission. It's something that has a bar he can reach - or fail to reach - so he would take making someone else feel special on their birthday very seriously once he understood it was important to them.

Which is why I have no doubt he felt wretched when he realized he'd missed Kaidan's. Maybe it was days later, maybe even months, but he'd eventually realize. By that point he'd know that it was important to Kaidan, and failing to even acknowledge it to someone who means so much to him would be devastating.

What's funny is that he'd try to make up for it by finding a way to spend time together. On Kaidan's birthday would be a squad affair, but now Sam is paying a penance and hoping he'll be forgiven, so it's all eyes on Kaidan, no distractions. Just the two of them.

Basically, in an effort to make it up to him, Sam would more or less accidentally take Kaidan out on a date.

[swaps55]

That ask about Shiala made me remember a thing I often thought and giggled about - One night the Yang crew went out drinking and dancing and competing over who could get the most people to give them their number (contact info, comm frequency or whatever) and obviously Sam won.

Please enlighten me! How?! Did he actually flirt? Did he make the people think that he flirted? Did he bully them into giving him their number? Did he let them know about the bet and made them play along?

And what did Kaidan think about it? Did he even try to win or did he sulk about Sam charming people all over the place?

And what about Sam? What did he think about Kaidan flirting around?

Ahaha, I have actually tried to write this a couple of times - including as a first kiss AU - and just not been successful. This is in part because Kaidan did get too sulky about it and the tone wasn't right for something that was supposed to be stupid, idiot, squad fun, and part of it because I do not know how to write about hitting on people in bars. XD

But I can tell you this: Sam wins because he doesn't try. He's not interested in anyone but has a lot of confidence and is insanely comfortable in his own skin. So he's a magnet for people who want to get in his pants. All he has to do is turn off the death stare that he uses to repel people.

Aslany is too hostile. If anything she probably winds up with a one night stand and no phone numbers. Clay doesn't win because he he's a quality over quantity kind of guy. At some point, Kara resorts to flashing people and probably nearly gets arrested, which further slows down Clay (though he probably manages to get the number of the person trying to throw Kara in the brig).

And Kaidan is just...not built for this, lol.

Eh, what the hell. This is what I wrote for that abandoned first kiss AU based on the Phone Number Contest:

~

“You know, this may be the first time I’ve been hit on so kindly by someone who would clearly prefer to be hitting on someone else.” The brunette woman sitting at the bar swirls the toothpick in her martini, eyebrow raised as Kaidan sighs and leans an elbow on the counter.

“Sorry.” Someone bumps his elbow trying to get to the bartender, and Kaidan shoots them an irritated look. The Space Bar is flooded with people tonight. Between the asari pop cover band on the stage in the back – humans shouldn’t cover asari songs; it just doesn’t sound right – and the overlapping conversations getting louder with each drink, it’s quickly becoming his least favorite place.

“You don’t do this often, do you?” the brunette asks, lip curving in a smile. She is attractive. No denying that. Beaudoin would be interested. Aslany, maybe.

Interested isn’t the point, he reminds himself.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shepard laughs as the woman he’s talking to across the room at a high-top table drops her shoulder and leans in closer. Kaidan takes a long, deliberate sip of his drink. The brunette follows his eye.

“He’s quite handsome, by the way.”

“I’m sorry?” The damn music is way too loud.

She nods towards Shepard. “He’s not into men, I’m guessing?”

A flush burns Kaidan’s neck. He’s not into anything, Kaidan almost says, but isn’t so far gone on the whiskey to let that thought slip out into the open. Though, if he drinks much faster, this damned game isn’t going to end with a winner – it’s going to end with someone peeling Kaidan off the floor.

He steals another glance at Shepard, who has parted ways with the woman and is now on his way back to the bar, pausing to waggle a subtle eyebrow in Kaidan’s direction before settling in to wait for the next one. He’s the only person Kaidan knows who can wear BDUs like they were tailored to fit him.

How the hell is he good at everything? Never in Shepard’s life has he wanted to pick someone up in a bar, yet an hour into this fucking game he’s had six people try and pick him up, and those are just the ones Kaidan’s seen.

“It’s, uh. It’s not. He’s not….” Kaidan clears his throat. “What did you say?”

At least she looks genuinely amused rather than ready to throw a drink in his face.

Kara Pendergrass chooses that moment to run up and practically barrel into his lap, nearly spilling his drink. “I fucking got one, can you believe this shit? People will do anything to see a pair of tits. Sex is so fucking weird.”

The brunette’s eyebrows nearly arch off of her head. Kaidan inserts himself between Pendergrass and the brunette, and apologizes. “Please don’t mind her. She means well.”

Pendergrass looks from him to the woman, then leans over Kaidan’s shoulder. “He’s a nice guy who puts up with a lot of shit, and you should give him your phone number. Because if you don’t, Beaudoin is going to win and I’ll have to watch him gloat about it for a week.”

Kaidan sets his drink on the bar, grabs Pendergrass by both shoulders and steers her away, apologizing over his shoulder to the wide-eyed brunette. They bump into at least four people before they find an open pocket that’s even closer to the dance floor and the crooning band.

“Why?” he demands.

“Come on,” she says with a grin. “She was gonna give it to you.”

“Hardly.”

She slugs him in the shoulder. “People like you, LT. Think it’s your face. If you tried not looking miserable, you might have more luck.”

Elsewhere in the bar, someone shrieks. Kaidan looks over his shoulder, fervently hoping he doesn’t know the cause, and sees Aslany standing over a very dismayed serviceman who is now wearing his drink.

“Fucking hell,” Kaidan mutters under his breath, already moving towards her, but Beaudoin gets there first, like he’d been keeping tabs on her the whole time. In the blink of an eye, Beaudoin is buying him a drink, escorting him away, and probably gets his phone number in the process.

…Did they plan that?

Are they a team? His competitive side flares up a little. Maybe more than a little.

[swaps55]

Just stopping by to tell you how insanely in love I'm with Sam and Kaidan. Thank you so much for bringing them into my life!

Teary eyed me, currently on my fourth read-through of Opus, still loving and hating you for the heartache. 💙

Ahhh, thank you so much!!!! It means SO much that I get to share them with people who care about them like I do!

They mean so much to me.

[swaps55]

Happy Birthday, Swaps! Have a wonderful day and thank you for bringing Sam and Kaidan into my life! 💙

Thank you SO MUCH!!! Sam & Kaidan are responsible for bringing some really amazing people into my life, like YOU. <3 <3 <3 <3

I am so grateful to have met you!!!!!!

[swaps55]

Hey, me again. Sorry to bother you ^^

But heck, I'm in the middle of Fugue now and I'm wondering if Sam will ever find out what Joker said to Kaidan at the debrief.

(Bet you’re wishing you’d stuck to that fraternization excuse right about now, huh?)

I get where he's coming from and that it's some crippling coping without actually trying to hurt Kaidan but god, I want to strangle him!

Nobody knows but the two of them but I still wonder ..

No one has ever bothered me by asking about something I have written. <3 Quite the contrary - picture me excitedly yelling, "YESSSSSSSS" whenever anyone is interested enough to say something!

And this is an EXCELLENT question.

I can't give you a 100% answer until it's written, but as of right now, I don't think Sam learns the details. He knows things were strained between them, but I don't think either Joker or Kaidan are very keen on telling him just how strained.

Ultimately, I think this is one of the ways Sam learns that his death impacted his friends and loved ones in ways he will never really be able to understand. He'd be rather upset about their falling out, but neither of them would really welcome his feelings about it. Sam wasn't there. He has no idea what it felt like or, what that grief did to them. I doubt he likes it, but accepting this is between Joker and Kaidan, and not something he can get in the middle of, is important to all three of them.

[swaps55]

I don't have an ask. I just wanted to stop by and tell you how incredibly much I love your Opus verse! That story is so beautifully written and I love Sam so dearly! I'm reading the whole thing for the third time now from the beginning - to psych myself up for Mezzo. Thank you! <3

Ahhhh, you are so kind! Thank you so much!!! Today is not going according to plan for me, so this was such a delight to find in my inbox. I'm glad others enjoy Sam, because this freeloader has declared permanent residency in my head, so he's getting written about whether anyone reads about him or not.

Thank you. <3

[swaps55]

Sparrow

For @dinchenrockt, who imagined Sam and Kaidan having pancakes on a nice day. I just added a little drama, because this is Sam we're talking about. Read on Ao3

The second batch of pancakes is starting to bubble when Kaidan’s skin tingles in the presence of Shepard’s biotic field. Shepard himself peers at Kaidan suspiciously from behind the archway into the kitchen, like he’s doing recon and Kaidan is an unknown element.

 “Hey, you,” Kaidan says with an amused smile. “Good morning.”

“It is morning by my standards. It is ass o’clock by your standards. Why are you awake?”

Kaidan gestures towards the open window, where sunrise hasn’t quite surrendered to daytime and some enterprising birds are getting a jump on things. “It’s a beautiful morning. Thought I’d spoil you with a nice breakfast.” 

Technically true, on both counts, even if it doesn’t really answer the question. Shepard narrows his eyes, perhaps suspecting there’s more to it, but Kaidan heads off further questions by plucking a piece of bacon off a plate and holding it up.

“Burnt it just for you.”

Shepard makes an interested sound and fully enters the kitchen, snatching the Distraction Bacon and popping it in his mouth. Bacon shouldn’t crunch like that unless it’s in a salad, but relationships require compromise.

“So, bacon. Pancakes.”

“Bacon in the pancakes. With bacon garnish.”

“Fancy.”

“Also blueberries,” Kaidan says, gesturing to a bowl. “And, uh, I was going to make some eggs but I accidentally just made more pancakes.”

“True to your nature.” He kisses Kaidan on the temple. “I’ll get plates.”

“One step ahead of you. We’re eating outside.”

Another suspicious look.

“It’s nice outside, remember?”

“I will concede it is tolerable outside, because I love you. But breakfast made, table set, and it’s what time? How long have you been up?”

Kaidan shrugs a nonchalant shoulder. “I said I wanted to spoil you.”

Still not an answer, but he hands Shepard the blueberries to give him something else to focus on and flips the remaining pancakes onto a platter, next to the pile of bacon, all nestled onto a blue and yellow tray that had been gathering dust in the back of a curio until Kaidan stumbled upon it last week looking for decorative pitcher his mother had asked about. After flipping the griddle off, he leads them to the front porch and sets the trays down on the small table next to the porch swing.

Shepard observes the spread. “Orange juice. Cloth napkins. The ‘good’ silverware. By the way, I still do not understand the silverware hierarchy.”

“My mother will happily show you next time she visits.”

Shepard snickers as he takes a seat. “Well, whatever. You pulled out all the stops. You are spoiling me.”

Kaidan makes a pleased sound as they fill their plates. They’re the same blue and yellow as the platter, with a sunflower in the center and a painted band around the edges. He’d forgotten about them completely until finding the platter. His father used to break them out when they had big breakfasts in the summer. He traces a chip in the paint. Where had they even come from in the first place? His mother? Were they just inherited with the house when his mother took it over from Kaidan’s grandparents? He’d never asked. Maybe she knows.

“Look at all this burnt bacon, just for me,” Shepard says, with a soft smile.

“Just for you.”

No reason to mention that it got burned because Kaidan was too locked in his own head to notice until he damn near set off the smoke detector.

But the pancakes are good, quite frankly. The blueberries are ripe, picked from the bushes out behind the barn just yesterday. The breeze is cool but not cold, the sun pooling at the edge of the porch steps, warm and waiting.

A far cry from the days that weren’t beautiful.

He releases a long breath and forces his mind back to the present, where Shepard is drowning his pancakes in maple syrup because moderation is not a concept he has ever developed a relationship with.

Echo whinnies from the field down the hill, head raised, ears pricked, looking right at them, as though now that she’s noticed their presence she’s offended she wasn’t invited to breakfast.

“Later,” Shepard hollers back at her. “I’m getting spoiled.”

Kaidan rests an elbow on the table – his mother would be so aghast – and chuckles into his hand.

When had he stopped getting up in the mornings for those breakfasts his father cooked? Breakfast had been his forte. The only way he outshined Kaidan’s mother in the kitchen. But that last summer before BAaT he’d stopped getting out of bed for them.

Should have gotten out of bed.

Shepard’s eye is on him again, as he saws into his pancakes and fails to spear a piece of bacon along with his next bite because it’s so brittle it just breaks under the tines of his fork. Once he’s subdued the bacon he nudges Kaidan’s knee.

“You’re awfully quiet for someone who just put out such a magnificent spread.”

Kaidan waggles an eyebrow. “Resting on my laurels.”

Shepard knee stays at rest against his, and Kaidan leans a little more into it. The weight of it, the presence is…reassuring.

The sparrow that wings in from the roof and alights on Shepard’s stack of pancakes is less reassuring.

Read the rest on Ao3