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#keep in mind I am large rn and I do have decent lean body mass
lucysweatslove
·
1 year
Text
You would think as a person who recovered from an ED I would learn NOT to weigh myself, like, ever, but of course I keep doing it because curiosity and it only causes distress.
#tw for the tags since it talks about weight
#and tw for calories too
#mainly because like this should be the lowest point for cycle and hormonal based weight
#but somehow I’m up 1.2 lbs from last week
#logical me is like yes you had a high salt day yesterday
#but then I see the scales BIA basically pegged it all as fat gain
#and then I see the whole plot since I’ve had the scale and it says my water weight % hasn’t changed in a range of 20 lbs
#I’m trying a little bit to just feel better and wear clothes I feel comfortable in and stuff before school
#I thought yeah if I work at it I can be down a little before rural clinic and more before white coat ceremony
#but instead compared to 4 weeks ago I’m not even down a pound
#I actually did try meticulous counting and weighing for the last two weeks
#granted I still refuse to say no to social foods that I can’t be so meticulous about
#but I really struggle to see how at my lean mass with how I’ve been eating vast majority of the time HOW even a day could mess it up
#like when I’m eating ~1450 calories a day in average with 100g protein how is my weight not changing
#especially when I’m lifting 2-4 hours a week and doing cardio for 2-3 hours too
#keep in mind I am large rn and I do have decent lean body mass
#like if I were to drop to 20% body fat but keep all my lean mass I would still be classified as overweight
#so yeah it’s just frustrating
#its not so much that I can’t accept my body as it is but that I know I’m being constantly judged on it and I don’t want to deal with that
#anyway gonna go cry and consider making breakfast but bring too frustrated to actually cook
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