#kekd

[sourstars]

and because i’m such a sucker all of my reactions will be goin’ here <3

“like a bloodhound, he can smell the storm coming.” lia. LIA.

“wife.” …his lips pull into a wolf’s grin. “beloved. sweetness.” lia shut fjsndksc what the FUCK HOW DID U KNOW IM A SUCKER FOR THIS DJWJC THIS THIS ATTITDUE THIS ARROGANT LITTEKDKWKD this is my type. unfortunately. wonderfully. HORRIBLY

“you do not hate him as you once did, when you were first wed… when he had failed to consider that you were less than happy yourself to be locked in a union with a man you didn’t know; didn’t want; didn’t love.” LIA. i’m lying on my floor. there’s so much simplicity in some of these lines in how tangible the emotion is and it makes my head spin. i can FEEL the history just by air alone.

“tooru is older now and wiser, (though not by much, iwaizumi says.) he, of all people, is not exempt from the whims of fate. between lightning strikes, he fell in love with you. he hopes you no longer hate him. he can never be sure.” i’m going to sleep in traffic.

“he lies. he, who has had the world at his fingertips, is so consumed by jealousy at all times, by his desire to have you all to himself. he burns.” i stopped painting my nails when i got here you got my full undivided attention even as you had it already because there is simply no way, no words written within any language dictionary to explain how much i am in love with your mastery of word play and the way you string them together every time, even when there is no pun or joke or double meaning i find clues and hints and i am dksjdksckd

“…to go and be happy, and i am begging you, selfishly, to do it where i cannot follow.” i had to sit down. literally.

“i cannot do both.” .. “let me stay, let me stay and prove it to you.” + “it’s rotten work.” “not to me. not if it’s you.” sobbing.

“he senses it before he wakes, opening his eyes to the weak sun in the early morning… his wife is very, very pleased.” i’m going to. to. i’m crying my eyes out i’m going to your dms

between lightning strikes

summary: Oikawa x F!Reader. as a prince, he can have whatever he wants. it’s a shame he wants you—his wife.

word count: 1.3k

cw: fighting, arranged marriage/royalty au, enemies to lovers, fake history stuff, angst to fluff, just like. the writing as a whole

a/n: my deepest apologies i promise i will never write a historical romance novel. happy late birthday oikawa [starts sobbing]

Oikawa Tooru can sense it: a shift in the wind, a burning in his muscles. Like a bloodhound, he can smell the storm coming.

His wife is angry with him.

You storm through the halls, your skirts trailing behind you, the whistle of the stiff linings over the floors the only sound as the servants flatten themselves against the walls and the out-and-about nobles scramble into their apartments and out of your way. Your spine is stiff, your face serene.

Your fate was decided before you were born. Upon arriving in the world, your every trait was analyzed for compatibility with his. You were raised, nearly designed, to be his perfect match.

Thousands of years of tradition culminated here. Your marriage had been arranged, an aristocratic girl handed from her own family to the crown prince (future emperor always seemed to echo behind the words), a perfect match on paper.

Tooru finds that you are a far different kind of match off the page. Blazing but nearly flickering out of reach each time the flame comes close to licking his fingers, rekindling whenever he thinks you've finally gone out. Brilliant, his brain supplies as you enter his room, the wind supplying a satisfying boom for drama. He squashes the thought in favor of trying to look appropriately innocent. His efforts are in vain, and he knows it.

"Wife," he greets you, while you stare at him with narrowed eyes. You don't respond, only stalking closer. His full lips pull into a wolf’s grin. "Beloved. Sweetness."

"Highness," you say, so icily and so informally he’s sure one of your former etiquette instructors must fall over dead wherever they are. “I received a missive from you this morning.”

“Did you?”

Blasphemous it may be to admit, but he is a man of many faults. One of these: he has a hot temper, and full freedom to act upon it.

You do not hate him as you once did, when you were first wed and he had, in his resentment of his family and his position, lashed out at you as the most obvious symbol of his loss of youthful freedom. When he had failed to consider that you were less than happy yourself to be locked in a union with a man you didn’t know; didn’t want; didn’t love.

Tooru is older now, and wiser (though not by much, Iwaizumi says). He, of all people, is not exempt from the whims of fate. Between lightning strikes, he fell in love with you.

He hopes you no longer hate him. He can never be sure.

“I have been dismissed,” and for all the arguing you’ve done with him, there’s an odd quaver in your voice that he’s never heard before. “From the imperial court. I am free to-to travel, whether it be to another hall or another island, and to seek companionship elsewhere, wherever I may choose to settle.”

“If you so choose,” he repeats his own penned words, turning away from you. His curtains are drawn, though it is late in the day. He does not spend much time in his private rooms, unless it is with you. “Though I must ask you be discreet. It is, unfortunately, a necessity—”

“I will do no such thing,” you snarl. He jerks his head back in surprise. “I may not be what you had hoped for in a partner, but I will not be disloyal of all things. Though I’m sure you will not spend a moment’s thought on me while I am away, I assure you any image you may conjure of my cavorting with another would be pure fantasy."

"Fantasy," he scoffs, can feel his own face spasm against his will at the thought.

"Oh—!" You seem unsure what to do with your hands, settling for clenching them into fists at your sides. "Are you jealous?"

"No," he denies. He lies. He, who has the world at his fingertips, is so consumed by jealousy at all times, by his desire to have you all to himself. He burns.

"Tell me the truth. Speak freely, as a man and not a god-king.” He nods, features twisting into something ugly, ugly, ugly.

“What do you wish for me to say?” His voice is brittle, his temper bound only by a thin string. “Yes, I am jealous. The sight of you with another man might kill me, if I didn’t kill him first. Though it might surprise you, I do care for you, beyond seeing you as some sort of-of possession. So I’m sending you away, giving you a chance to escape this fucking farcical marriage, to do as you wish, to find love as I have—as I have loved you.” The words die an abrupt death in his throat as your eyes round, then glisten.

“Loved me?” An accusation or a question. He swallows around his traitorous tongue, grinding out his response.

“I do.” The weight of those two words is smoke in a sickroom, a weighted coffin in the sea. He sounds wrecked when next he speaks, and looks it too, eyes red and mouth split. “So I am ordering you, as a prince and not as your husband, to go and be happy, and I am begging you, selfishly, to do it where I cannot follow.”

It occurs to you to remind him that there is no such place, but you don’t wish to spit on the bones beneath the words. He will not follow. He is offering you the truest freedom he can.

“You say you’re begging me,” you tap your chin, an empress to the core. “Then why are you not on your knees?”

His eyes narrow. You expect a slap, an execution order, anything you had been warned all your life would come from such total insubordination.

Instead, his right knee bends, then his left. The bones pop, as though in protest, as though he had never before done what he did now.

From the floor, Oikawa Tooru looks up at you with all the love he is capable of and says: “Leave me.”

You drop to your knees, crashing into the floor, uncaring of your garments or his, and take his face in your hands. The first tear spills from his eye, a diamond you crush beneath your thumb.

“I cannot do both,” you say, trying very hard to be gentle. “To ask me to leave to find love would tear me in two. If I were never to look on you again, I would never see the only man I could ever love.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he says, “don’t sacrifice yourself for duty’s sake.”

“I’m not,” his eyes search your face wonderingly. “Let me stay. Let me stay, and prove it to you.”

“Only if it is what you want,” he insists. “You need not—” You silence him, pressing your lips to his. You are—inexpert, desperate, perfect. He closes his eyes and anchors himself on your shore, his hands the only part of him that’s sure as he takes yours.

“Let me show you all the ways I love you,” you repeat, and Tooru nods. You smile when he does, and the sky splits open above you.

He senses it before he wakes, opening his eyes to the weak sun in the early morning. There’s been a shift in the wind and his muscles are sore. He doesn’t mind it; the mark of work well done.

He can see it, feel it, as you wake, eyes fluttering open to rest on his face.

His wife is very, very pleased.

[luciality]

U r my personal... lol... love... hold on gimme a minute. Lo- Lollard?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lollardy this is me???

[18shadesofmay]

All My crebs calm tf down

U should know how to play the push and pull

We will discuss privately come to me

-🦀

cult bana lo. identity bana lo. religion bana lo. sab ke sab kekde.

[doinggreat]

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF BARCELONA YESTERDAY BEAUTIFUL

SORRY I WAS NOT HAVING THE BEST TIME FOR THE PAST WEEK so im really late answering this kekd WELL it was a lot better compared to numerous previous games.. i feel like it had a lot to do with our defense, i will die on “BACK is superior” hill and im not even sorry. our midfield was also looking better than usual. besides rapha getting injured and ferran ghosting us it was a decent game, i hope today we’ll show off again ����

DO YOU THINK WE HAVE A CHANCE TODAY??

[discoverykids-india]

BLS Adventures - 56 | Baby Little Singham aur Kung Fu Kekde | Hindi Cartoons | Bacchon ke Cartoon

Aya tha woh karne babies ko pareshaan, par Kung Fu Kekde ka ho gaya hai bura haal. 🦀Taiyaar ho jaiye dher saari masti ke liye in Baby Little Singham.

Do not miss any update on your favourite #cartoons by Subscribing to the Discovery Kids India YouTube Channel, Facebook page & Instagram page.

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/DiscoveryKidsIndia Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DiscoveryKidsInd Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/discoverykidsindia/

babylittlesingham #babies #discoverykids #cartoonvideos #ChaddiMeinKaun #cartooncharacters #bacchonkecartoon #hindicartoon #kidscartoon #DiscoveryKidsIndia #cartoonforkids #babycartoon #kids

[monnisaurus]

As you can see, I'm posting a LOT of Barbie, ofc with the tags for you to avoid the spoilers... So remember to add that to your preferred blocker kekd

[darcy-nonbinary]

OMGOMGOGMOGMGOGMGOFMGKXGGEJFNXIE HEYYY DHBFNFNDMEJHRBJD UDIENCJDJSNFJCJDJDJEMFJJENNFMFKKDJDJD I COULD PUT MY GUCCI ON UEIEND I COULD HAVE MY LUIE VETTONOWJEMEKD IMADEYOULOOKDIJEJRKFKSKDKMFMDD,KEKD,KFKDKE,RM

YALL I FINALLY DREW MILES MORALES

[18shadesofmay]

kuch handle nahi kar sakta mai itne kekde, ghar ke andar aa, we’ll lock the gate. ab aur kuch nahi bacha.

Sure, my pronouns are ■■■■/■■■■

-🦀

creb/crab?

ofc

i-

@18shadesofmay bohot zyada violence aa raha hai pls handle

[salmankhanholics]

★ EXCLUSIVE: Devi Sri Prasad spills the beans on his 'amazing number' for Salman Khan's Bhaijaan: 'I'm grateful'!

July 15, 2022 

Rockstar DSP, who earlier also collaborated with Salman Khan on the Dhinka Chika song in the film Ready, further cleared the air that he was always going to compose one song in the film.

Amidst the reports that DSP aka Devi Sri Prasad and Salman Khan have parted ways on Bhaijaan, the Pushpa music composer spills the beans on his 'only' song for the upcoming mega project. "From the beginning, I was never the full music director for the film because when they had approached me, a couple of songs were already done," reveals DSP in an exclusive chat with Pinkvilla.

Speculations have been doing rounds that Salman and his team were not happy with the tracks composed by DSP for Bhaijaan (earlier titled Kabhi Eid Kabhi Diwali). However, the ace musician has things to say that are otherwise.

"Salman sir and I share a great rapport...he would call me asking to give an existing song like the one we did Seeti Maar and I respect him a lot. Our journey started with Dhinka Chinka and as a person also he is very lovable so I never say him no. I'm always thankful and grateful for the trust he has," said Devi Sri Prasad who had earlier composed the Hindi version of his popular song Seeti Maar, picturised on Salman Khan and Disha Patani in Radhe.

Rockstar DSP, who earlier also collaborated with Salman Khan on the Dhinka Chika song in the film Ready, further cleared the air that he was always going to compose one song in the film.

"From the beginning, I was never the full music director for the film because when they had approached me, a couple of songs were already done. While working on Bawaal, Sajid sir requested if I can sit with this director and Salman bhai was also fine. He narrated the entire script and I asked about the parts I want for the song. This is one important song, an amazing number and it is for the first time Yo Yo Honey Singh and I have collaborated for it, a collab I was waiting for a very long time," the musician added.

With Yo Yo Honey Singh being a part of the upcoming track, one would expect something Hip Hop and peppy. However, DSP promises to expect the unexpected.

"No, this will surprise you. I always do things that people don't expect. We have experimented with it and there are other singers also in it. It is going to be a family singers' song," DSP spills the beans on the much-awaited track in Salman Khan's film helmed by Farhad Samji.

[taleofwomen-a]

imma add a ashes of love verse for yingyue! because someone needs to cherish runyu !!

[daybr43ks-lam8]

I loc ..kekd the doors. ., .. I . . didnd't ' It's no . . infectious I .. .

YOU.

[The front door is kicked open.]

!.! .

[glowpop]

i don’t actually ship winston/hanzo and the fact that i have to say this speaks volumes of what you people think of me

[joonskisses]

bbmas showing fake love to bts during fake love

[fillinforlater]

Minju is sitting in a urinal legs spread open. Minju sees you and says "Hi~You're the lucky first one~" in Minju's cute English accent seductively.

You finger her to check and for a cumpdump she certainly is clean, no smell of jizz at all,guess Minju isn't lying.

"fill in!" Minju points at the NDA signature location, then she points to her pussy and says "for later" *winks at you*.

Will you fuck her or just take a picture and leave?

I never kekd so hard lmfao. That one was hilarious, especially the name joke.

But I could def not let her sit in that urinal. She is gonna get an infection or some STD... I'll take her home, give her clothing, shelter and love.

Marry Minju

[memepsycho100]

Ant Milk Fucker fits best I think