#kenji has never done this before and is just amazed someone is trusting him with a knife

[unnecessary-dinosaurs]

halloween at the bowmans!

[gb-fics]

The Sexual Implication of Beds

Fanfiction:

Golden Bomber

Note: This fic is Jun-centric, since it’s his birthday today! <3 I actually wanted to write something in relation to the song Abare Kyoku, since Jun is such a fanboy and a few lines are referring to the lyrics indeed. However, since I couldn’t think of a way to include headbanging, etc. into a fic, I looked for another fan habit I could give Jun and ... yeah, here we are XD The story is slight self-parody for my usual kirikyan fanfiction :D

„I’ll get some snacks!“, Yutaka shouted as soon as the car pulled to an halt.

Jun got out on his side of the backseat. He stretched his arms, trying to relax after the long ride. Neither of them was a morning person and they had left Tokyo well past noon. By now, it wasn’t quite dark yet, but twilight had already set in. The streetlights across the parking lot were illuminating their surroundings.

They would arrive at the hotel shortly, but luckily Shou had insisted on a toilet break and Yutaka had whined about his low blood pressure and needing something to eat urgently. Of course, they had stopped only an hour ago for an early dinner, but that certainly didn’t inflict Yutaka’s appetite.

Jun was relieved about the last stop. When he had called the hotel from the restaurant, no one had picked up. The change would come at a short notice now, but at least there was still hope it would be possible to alter their reservation.

“I’m going to look for the toilets”, Shou announced. Yutaka had already dashed across the parking lot and vanished inside the nearest store.

“I’ll check out the store”, Kenji said and looked over at Jun, who shook his head.

“I just want to catch some fresh air”, he lied. It was too warm to spend time outside actually, but he needed an excuse to be left alone. He thought of the air conditioning inside the store and almost grew weak. Although the sun was nearly gone, the air still felt stifling. But he couldn’t give in, even if the chances he’d get through to the hotel this time were low. It was his duty to try. Someone had to. And no one was in a better position than him.

Kenji shrugged and Jun looked after him and Shou taking off, before he got out his phone.

The thing was, that Jun was Kiryuuin Shou’s biggest fan.

He had been from the very first moment he had seen him on stage. He was funny and charismatic and creative and talented and he deserved the world. Jun knew that his admiration seemed more appropriate for a fanboy than for a bandmate. But he didn’t really work with Shou on the music or even the stage programs. Just like the fans, he got confronted with the finished product. And the product always made him marvel at Shou’s wit and genius. Jun wasn’t ashamed to refer to himself as a fanboy, even if he tried to limit his outbursts in Shou’s presence, not to make his bandleader uncomfortable. But as his fanboy, Jun wanted nothing but to see Shou happy. He would do anything to provide him with the happiness he deserved.

Unfortunately, Shou seemed blind to what would make him happy. After all those years, he was still oblivious. But Jun knew. He knew better than Shou what Shou needed and he would make sure he got it in the end.

Jun would make sure, that Kiryuuin Shou noticed his love for Kyan Yutaka, and if it was the last thing he did.

Funnily enough, Yutaka didn’t seem to have noticed, either, that his perfect partner was right in front of him. They treated each other like friends. They were oblivious to the amazing couple they could be.

But even if Shou and Yutaka couldn’t see it yet, Jun had noticed. He had noticed all the small touches, the affectionate gestures, the looks they exchanged. They were meant to be. Jun lived of those little moments, their playful fights, the screenshots the fans posted. They made him trust in the fact that love was real.

He dialled the number of the hotel they were supposed to stay at before the shooting tomorrow.

From Tokyo it was quite a long trip and Kenji had driven all the way so far. Jun had tried to secure the passenger seat for himself - to enable Shou and Yutaka to spend more time together on the backseat, where it was a little more private and their hands could brush against each other accidently, or where on of them could watch the other in secret, while he dozed off. Unfortunately, Shou had won the game of rock, paper, scissor, though, and it was Jun, who had ended up on the backseat with Yutaka. He had been sulking for the entire ride.

Jun pressed the phone to his ear. The screen had heat up and felt uncomfortably warm against his cheek. His shirt was sticking to his back with sweat, too.

It took a while for someone to pick up, but finally the voice of a woman greeted him.

“Hello?”, she asked.

Jun cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. He looked around the parking lot to make sure no one was in earshot. It wasn’t the first time he pulled tricks like this, but he always felt like a criminal. Shou would get mad, if he knew.

“Hello, I’m from Golden Bomber”, he said. “The band that will stay at your hotel tonight. Our staff booked two rooms for us.”

He waited a moment for the woman to check their reservation on her computer.

“Is there a problem with the booking? Would you like to cancel?”, she asked.

“No, no.” Jun spoke hastily now, worried the others might come back, before he had made all the necessary arrangements. “I was just wondering, if we could arrange a change of rooms?”

“I need your booking code for that”, the woman said apologetic. “To confirm your authorization.”

“Sure”, Jun mumbled and quoted the booking code from memory. He had read the confirmation mail their staff had forwarded to them over and over again, until he knew it by heart.

“Great”, the woman announced. “You have booked two rooms with twin beds. Would you like separate rooms? I need to check our capacities for that.”

“No.” Jun cleared his throat again. “You see, this is a little embarrassing. But I would like to change one of the rooms to a regular double bed.”

“That is no problem”, the woman said, still friendly and very professional.

“And, uhm, if I could ask you to be, you know, a little private about it?”, Jun asked. “Me and my bandmate are, you see, kind of an item. But our colleagues don’t know about it. So, it would be good, if it looked like a booking mistake. Like, oops, we only have one twin bed room left. Two of you will have to share a bed. No single rooms available. Would that be possible?”

Although the woman could not see him, Jun felt himself blushing. He felt embarrassed at the thought she might assume he was in a secret relationship with one of the other guys. To Jun, that thought was ridiculous and absurd of course. But she might buy into it. He had figured he’d have to tell this little lie, though, for the greater cause. Shou and Yutaka would thank him later, in a few years, during their anniversary celebration.

“That is no problem at all”, the woman confirmed. “We are here to be of service.”

“Thank you”, Jun said. “We should arrive in about thirty minutes.”

“We are looking forward to your stay”, the woman said.

They exchanged their goodbyes and Jun hung up with a sigh of relief. He hadn’t actually expected it to work out this smoothly. But he had done it. He had done his part to make the world a slightly better place, in which Shou and Yutaka would love each other.

“You called the hotel”, a voice behind him announced.

Jun flinched hard, but relaxed immediately when he turned around and found Kenji standing behind him.

“You are scheming something again, aren’t you?”

Jun smiled slyly.

“I changed our reservation, so Shou and Yutaka will have to share a bed”, he declared proudly.

Kenji sighed and shook his head slightly. The heat didn’t really seem to bother him. While Jun felt awkward and sweaty, Kenji looked like he was modelling for a calendar shooting right now. Relaxed and handsome and in very good shape.

“They will be so mad, if they find out”, he said. “You should really just leave them alone. You can’t force something like that.”

Jun crossed the arms in front of his chest.

“I’m not forcing it”, he said. “I’m helping the natural course of things along.”

Kenji shook his head again.

“I don’t understand, why you want them to be together so badly. They obviously don’t care for each other romantically.”

Jun wiped his forehead absentmindedly. He considered running up to the shop as well to get himself something cold to drink. But then, Shou and Yutaka would probably be back shortly and he didn’t want to delay their trip.

“You don’t understand”, he claimed. He had always been very open with Kenji about his feelings for Shou and Yutaka. Kenji had never shared his enthusiasm, though. He did not seem to believe in their love as much as Jun did.

“They would make each other happy, if they just realized, what is right in front of them. Yutaka is actually very caring of Shou, Shou just doesn’t see it.”

Jun pulled on his shirt, hoping to prevent it from clinging to his chest even more. It was just too hot.

To his surprise, Kenji held out a full water bottle to him. It hadn’t been opened yet and the condensed water on the outside indicated that it had only just left the fridge. It would be cool and refreshing.

“Here”, Kenji said. “When you wanted to stay behind, I figured it was something stupid like that, and not that you didn’t want anything. I thought you’d like a cool drink, so I brought a bottle of water for you.”

Jun took the bottle gratefully and unscrewed the lid. That was typical of Kenji. He was very thoughtful. He also knew that Jun despised the sweet, artificial drinks, that Yutaka and Shou would have chosen.

Greedily Jun drank. The water was so cold, it hurt while he swallowed. He breathed out with relief.

“Thanks”, he announced and put the lid back onto the bottle. “Anyway, what Yutaka and Shou share is really special. Yutaka has always supported Shou, even if he thought some of his ideas were very stupid. To believe so fully in someone and wanting to see them happy even if you disagree – that’s love.”

“I disagree, but whatever you say”, Kenji said and smirked. He had a handsome smirk, too.

Jun turned the water bottle between his hands. His palms were wet from the condensation.

He wished Kenji would understand how much this meant to him.

“Ah, seems they are back”, Kenji observed and nodded across the parking lot.

Jun turned his head and felt something in his chest tightening. There they were, coming out of the grocery store together. After shopping together. Like a couple.

“Hey, Kenji”, Shou called out. “I can drive the last bit, if you are tired. It might be stressful to find the hotel and you drove for quite a while already. Unless you want to.”

“No, that would be great, I could need a break”, Kenji said and tossed the keys at Shou, who had gotten quite close by now.

Shou missed the keys and they hit the ground. He had to bent over and pick them up from the dirty pavement. He did so gingerly. It looked pretty awkward.

“Idiot”, Yutaka scolded him. He took a hearty bite out of an energy bar. The corner of his mouth was already smeared with chocolate. “How can anyone be that clumsy?”

“At least I can eat with dignity”, Shou replied and shot Yutaka a sour glance.

Jun thought their gentle bickering was adorable.

“Can I take the passenger seat now?”, Yutaka changed the topic.

Jun thought that would be a great idea. It would enable Yutaka to gaze at Shou longingly from the side, while Shou kept his eyes on the road, painfully aware of Yutaka’s presence right next to him. Oh, the longing, the pining.

“Actually”, Shou said. “I think Kenji should take the passenger seat. His legs are the longest. He always looks so cramped on the backseat. It can’t be comfortable.”

“According to that logic, you should have traded your seat with Jun earlier”, Yutaka muttered.

Shou shrugged and unlocked the car.

“I’m the leader of this band. The laws of logic don’t apply to me.”

Jun nudged Kenji in the side.

Kenji looked at him. Jun raised his eyebrows.

Kenji exhaled a little too soundly.

“Yutaka can have the passenger seat. I don’t care.”

Jun beamed at him, while he got in on the back himself. Kenji was reliable. Jun could always count on him.

Shou took a while to adjust the driver seat, so he was able to reach the gas pedal at all. Then he started the car, following the instructions of their navigation device.

Jun watched him for a moment. Shou always looked very focused while driving. Jun was surprised he had offered to take over at all. He didn’t mind driving as much as Jun did, but he wasn’t at ease as much as Kenji and Yutaka. He looked pretty, when he was concentrated, though. Jun hoped that Yutaka noticed.

He turned to look at Yutaka. He wasn’t looking at Shou, but out the window. Jun frowned.

He shot a quick glance over at Kenji, who had rested his head against the window and closed his eyes. His features looked very relaxed and even, when he was dozing off like that.

Jun turned his attention back onto Yutaka, staring at the back of his head as if he hoped to make him look over at Shou by sheer force of will.

It didn’t work. Yutaka kept gazing out the window. Jun felt highly frustrated with his bandmates. All three of them did not to understand how romance was supposed to work. At least the air conditioning was working in the car. Jun’s body started to cool down. He felt somewhat less gross and sweaty already.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, he almost dreaded getting out of the car because of the heat. After fixing his luggage from the trunk, Jun felt sweaty again. This wasn’t the season for travelling. It was the season for staying at home and hardly moving at all.

He dragged his suitcase into the lobby of the hotel. Shou and Yutaka only had backpacks with them, Kenji something that looked like a training bag. Only Jun had brought a suitcase and it was actually quite heavy. He regretted not packing more lightly.

Behind the reception desk a young woman with bangs greeted them. Jun wondered, if she was the one, he had talked to on the phone. He hoped she wouldn’t recognize him. Maybe he should have disguised his voice. The safest thing would be to stay quiet.

“Hello, nice to meet you.” As usual, it was Shou who took over the talking. “It’s Golden Bomber. We reserved two rooms for tonight.”

“Yes, of course.” The receptionist beamed at them. “Two twin bed rooms, is that correct?”

Jun’s throat started to feel uncomfortable dry. He licked his lips. Had his plan failed? Had the booking not been changed? Would Shou and Yutaka stay oblivious to their true love forever?

The woman turned to her computer.

“Oh, dear”, she said. She sounded genuinely sorry. Jun was quite sure now, that he recognized her voice from the phone. “I just see there has been a problem with your reservation. We only have one twin bed room left.”

Jun could not see Shou’s expression, since he was standing behind him. Yutaka groaned soundly, though. He still had chocolate sticking to his cheek.

“We can only offer you a regular double bed”, the receptionist continued. Jun had to give her credit for staying throughout professional. If it was up to him, he’d nominate her for the Oscars. “The price will stay the same of course.”

Shou turned around, looking at them questioningly.

“We could split up and look for another hotel. But I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble”, he observed.

“It’s not like we didn’t share beds before”, Jun said hastily.

He was aware that Kenji watched him from the side and was probably smirking.

“Well, I don’t care”, Yutaka said.

Jun took that as a good sign. Of course, he didn’t care. Secretly, he hoped to press his small, sexy body against Shou’s small, sexy body, embracing him, placing kisses all over …

“Okay, we’ll take it”, Shou said and turned back to the receptionist.

She handed him two key cards after he signed the papers.

“307 is the one with the twin beds. 306 the double bed one”, she explained sweetly. “Unfortunately, our elevator is out of service currently. You’ll have to take the stairs. We can get someone to carry your luggage, if you wish.”

Shou waved it off.

Jun thought he had been a little fast to decline the offer. After all, Shou only carried a backpack. It was Jun, who would have to drag a heavy suitcase to the third floor.

“Well, I’m sorry about the inconvenience, guys”, Shou said and held the card with the number 306 out to Kenji demonstratively.

Kenji hesitated and cast a quick glance over at Jun. Jun glared at him. Kenji did not take the card.

“Actually”, he said, obviously highly uncomfortable. Jun knew how much Kenji hated to pick an argument with about anyone. “I think you guys should share the bed. You are much smaller than me and Jun after all.”

Shou furrowed his brow.

“Also”, Jun chimed in. “Yutaka said he wouldn’t mind.”

“Sure, I don’t mind, loser”, Yutaka agreed. “Because I’m sleeping in a twin bed anyway. I don’t care how cramped up you and Kenji are sleeping.”

Jun stared at him wide-eyed. He couldn’t believe his plan would fail like that.

“But … but …”, he stammered. “It’s my birthday this month! Let me chose the room.”

“You wish”, Shou said. “Yutaka may be small, but he takes up the most space. So, we ought to get the twin beds.”

Jun turned to Kenji for help.

Kenji made a face, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It looked oddly cute. He moved like a child, who had gotten caught doing something forbidden. His body was much too tall for such a gesture.

“I think Jun is right”, he said hesitantly. “Doesn’t he deserve to chose his room this month?”

Shou exhaled gravely.

“Fine”, he agreed. “I can share the twin bed room with Jun then. You guys take the double bed.”

“Oi!”, Yutaka shouted. “Don’t make it sound like a sacrifice! If you want Jun to sleep in a twin bed so badly, you can share the bed with Kenji!”

“Rock, paper, scissor?”, Shou suggested.

Yutaka shrugged.

Jun started to panic. Splitting Shou and Yutaka up would be even worse than them not sharing the bed. He hadn’t considered this option at all.

“Fine!”, he shouted hysteric. “We’ll take the double bed. You guys share the twin bed room.”

He snatched the key with the number 306 from Shou’s hand and picked up his suitcase. It was really heavy, but the weight wouldn’t have been a huge problem for Jun. The problem was, that he was awkward and not very good at carrying unwieldy objects in general. He dragged the luggage up the first three steps, aware that he looked completely ridiculous and didn’t exactly manage to storm off impressively.

He was highly upset. Why did Shou and Yutaka struggle against their happiness like that?

“Hey, let me take that”, Kenji said gently and caught up to him, taking the suitcase out of Jun’s hand. He carried it up the stairs easily, his gym bag in the other hand. The weight didn’t seem to bother him at all.

Jun followed him up the stairs, listening closely if Shou and Yutaka were bickering behind them, but they stayed quiet.

On the third floor, they found their doors easily. Of course, they were right next to each other. Kenji dropped Jun’s suitcase, while he waited for him to unlock the door.

Jun waited a moment, until Shou had unlocked the door to the room next to them. Somehow, he was still hoping for a change of mind.

Shou opened the door, holding it open for Yutaka, who walked past him. Jun waited until the door had fallen shut behind them, before he turned back to their own lock.

“Did you see that?”, he asked Kenji excitedly. “Shou held the door open for Yutaka! Usually, they are not that polite around each other. Maybe he is starting to acknowledge his feelings for him? I mean, holding the door open for him has to mean something! You don’t get treatment like that from just anyone. Shou was acting like a real gentleman!”

Jun pushed open their door and entered first.

“A real gentleman, indeed”, Kenji said somewhat dryly, took up Jun’s suitcase again and followed him into the room.

Jun stood frozen and stared onto the bed. It was a double bed alright, but not a very large one. It would be impossible to avoid body contact in it.

“Are you kidding me?”, Jun howled out. “It’s so small! Two people will be pressed together in there!”

“Well”, Kenji said apologetic. “If it’s bothering you, I can …”

Jun turned around to stare at Kenji wide-eyed.

“It would have been perfect!”

Jun imagined Shou and Yutaka having to share that small double bed. Damn, that would have been hot.

Kenji sighed and dropped Jun’s suitcase on the left side of the bed. He knew that Jun preferred to sleep closer to the window than to the door.

Jun sat down on the edge of the bed and hung his head low.

“I was this close”, he muttered. “This close to making all of my dreams come true.”

“If they are attracted to each other, they will figure it out in twin beds, too”, Kenji tried to comfort him.

Jun looked up to him and managed a thankful smile.

“I appreciate you trying, though”, he said. “It’s nice you support me in this. I know you don’t believe in their love.”

Kenji shrugged and started to unpack his things from the training bag.

“Do you mind, if I take a shower first?”, Jun asked. “I feel sweaty and disgusting. I really can’t force you to sleep next to me like that.”

Kenji smiled at him.

“I don’t think you are disgusting, ever”, he said. “But sure, you can go first.”

Jun collected his stuff from the suitcase, before entering the bath. He always brought a lot of cosmetics with him on trips. His hair was usually dry from dying it so often and his skin needed a lot of care, too. That was probably, why his suitcase was always so heavy. That, and the fact that he couldn’t settle for an outfit beforehand and always took too many clothes.

He stepped under the shower, and allowed the warm water to wash away his worries. He wondered, if Shou and Yutaka were taking a shower right now, too. Probably not together, Jun didn’t get his hopes up like that. But maybe Yutaka walked around the room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist afterwards, Shou’s eyes following him through the room, taking in his bare skin and wondering, why the sight made him feel so flustered. He’d blush and Yutaka would notice, gently teasing him about it. It wouldn’t cause the ultimate confession yet, of course, just set the right atmosphere for what was going to happen later. Jun knew how stories like these were supposed to go.

He tried not to imagine things between his bandmates too vividly under the shower, though. It got him a little too excited. Two handsome men like that. Way more handsome than Jun himself at least. They would surely look good together.

He turned off the water, drying himself off with a fluffy, white towel. He wrapped it around his waist while getting ready for bed applying moisturizer, brushing his teeth, combing his hair.

Then he walked back into the room. Nudity had never been a big deal between him and Kenji. For Kenji nudity never seemed to be a big deal in any context. Jun did not feel embarrassed, even as Kenji watched him now, while he searched his suitcase for the pyjamas.

“Are you done?”, Kenji assured, after Jun had gotten dressed again and fixed himself a book to read a page before going to sleep.

“Sure”, Jun assured and made himself comfortable on the bed. “You can use the bath now.”

He watched Kenji as he got up and disappeared into the bathroom. Those hotel rooms always seemed too small for Kenji. It wasn’t just his height and his broad shoulders that looked weird in this cramped place with the small bed. Kenji usually seemed to burst with joy and enthusiasm and the small room seemed unable to contain his whole personality. When it came to character, Kenji deserved to be on a huge stage all the time, Jun thought.

He turned towards the book he was holding without even opening it.

He thought of Shou and Yutaka next door again. If something happened between them, would he even know? Would they tell their bandmates? For all that Jun knew, they might be in a happy relationship for years already. Shou hadn’t seemed too pleased with the possibility of changing roommates. But then, why not take the chance of sharing the bed? Maybe Yutaka really used up too much space in his sleep.

Jun put aside his book and checked his phone instead. He loved checking out the posts of fans, whom he followed with his fake account. There were usually cute pictures of Shou and Yutaka together. Sometimes, very rarely, there were pictures of himself, too. He always scrolled past them very fast.

Of course, occasionally he felt weird about swooning over his bandmates like this. When he wanted to see them, he didn’t have to stare at pictures on his phone like a creep. He could go over next door and knock. It was different for the fans, who didn’t know them in person. Jun should have a little more respect for their privacy. However, there was something soothing in fading in with the crowd of fans. They all wanted the same thing. They wanted Shou and Yutaka happy together. It was a goal they shared, something that made Jun escape from his own life and his own worries for a little while.

Kenji entered the room again. Jun looked up shortly. Kenji was naked. He hadn’t even bothered with a towel around his waist. Jun looked back onto his mobile screen.

There was a moment of silence, in which Kenji towelled off his hair.

“You think we could hear them, if they banged?”, Jun asked without looking up. “The walls seem to be quite thin.”

Kenji chuckled.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen”, he observed.

Jun sighed.

“You are right. They have twin beds. Nothing will happen between them”, he agreed.

Kenji pulled a goofy face. It did nothing to hide his handsomeness, though.

“I don’t think the problem is the beds.”

Jun shook his head and finally lowered his phone to get a better look at Kenji. He kept his eyes fixed on Kenji’s face, though.

“If they had to share the bed, they’d surely have sex. If there is only one bed, the potential couple is bound to have sex. Don’t you read at all? It’s science.”

Kenji snorted and put the towel over the backrest of the armchair by the window.

“I don’t see how that should be science”, he said.

“Well, think of all the sexual tension it would create. Shou and Yutaka in a bed together this small. Their limbs would brush against each other. They could sense each other’s body heat. The sexual tension would get sheer unbearable. There is only one blanket, too. They’d have to snuggle up to each other, painfully aware of only the thin layer of clothing keeping them apart.”

“Yeah, about the clothing”, Kenji interrupted him. “I kind of thought we’d have separate beds and you know I prefer to sleep naked. I didn’t bring pyjamas. You won’t feel harassed by that, will you?”

Jun waved it off absentmindedly. He had spent so much time around naked Kenji already, sleeping next to him like that wouldn’t feel weird at all.

“Sure, I don’t care”, he said nonchalantly and turned back to his phone.

Kenji pulled back the blanket to sneak in next to Jun. The bed really was small and Kenji took up a large part of it. His upper arm was resting against Jun’s, but there wasn’t enough space for either of them to back off. This would be a very cuddly night.

“Don’t tell me you’re staring at pictures of them again?”, Kenji assured and peaked over Jun’s shoulder.

Jun shuffled a little closer, snuggling up against Kenji’s shoulder, so Kenji could get a good look at his phone screen, too.

“Look at this!”, he said and zoomed in. “The way Yutaka looks at Shou here. Full of hunger and greed and longing and affection. He is clearly in love.”

Kenji sighed. Jun could feel the heaving of his chest against himself.

“I think he is looking past Shou at the buffet actually. You remember? There was a live barbecue that day.”

Jun flicked his tongue and he pulled back from Kenji again, trying to create a distance that was impossible to achieve in the small bed.

“You just lack sense of romance”, he declared.

Kenji gave nothing but a low hum.

Eventually Jun put his mobile aside, picking up his book again. He held it in his hands indecisively. Reading a novel was surely more acceptable than engaging in weird fantasies about his colleagues. But he felt weirdly distracted and unfocused.

“Hey, Jun”, Kenji said softly.

Jun turned his head, surprised to find Kenji had rolled to his side and was watching him currently.

“Why is it so important to you? This whole thing with Shou and Yutaka? It’s really starting to get out of hand lately. I don’t mean to lecture you. I’m worried.”

Jun sighed and put his book back onto the bedside table. He didn’t know where to look, so he kept his eyes on the opposite wall.

“Reality is just unsatisfying”, he confessed lowly. “I’m feeling sick with worry all the time and just … dizzy with everything that’s going on currently. I need to believe in something nice.”

“But why them?”, Kenji asked. He had dropped the topic many times before already, but Jun had the feeling, that today he would keep pushing. “You could believe in world peace. Or romantic comedies. Why Shou and Yutaka?”

Jun exhaled soundly, then he rolled over, too, so he could face Kenji. He was the only one with whom he had ever talked about his obsession. With Kenji he didn’t have secrets. It was work that had brought them together. He knew a handsome, sporty guy like Kenji would never had ended up in Jun’s company otherwise. Still, he was his best friend.

“I just want to believe that a love like that exists. Supporting someone else with a crazy concept like an air band. Always fighting, but knowing you’ll never break up, because your love is just too strong, turning all the arguments gentle and playful. I want to believe someone could look at me the way that … Yutaka looks at barbecues.”

Kenji chuckled at Jun’s admittance. He remembered where Yutaka had looked that day. It hadn’t been at Shou.

“Also”, Jun added. “I really admire you guys, but especially Shou. He is a huge role model for me. It would mean so much to me, if … if we were the same, you know? If he validated the things I felt. It would be great to know he’s in love with another man.”

Kenji reached out, gently touching Jun’s lower arm.

“Hey”, he said quietly. “You don’t need him to feel the same to be valid. And if it’s about wanting to be loved … why don’t you ask for something for yourself? Why not fantasize about Shou yourself, if you admire him so much?”

Jun could hear the hesitation in Kenji’s voice. He didn’t seem too excited about the perspective of Jun crushing on Shou.

Jun smiled sadly.

“I don’t know, for me, the world just seems to be on hard mode. I don’t really believe I could ever find that kind of love and keep it. It’s unrealistic. I want to believe it’s possible for them, though. They deserve it.”

“You deserve it, too”, Kenji said.

“Also, imagining them together is just hot”, Jun added. “I can’t imagine anything that hot involving myself. I’m awkward. I’d ruin my own fantasy.”

Kenji chuckled again and nudged Jun’s chin lightly.

“Okay, fine”, he said, obviously not willing to argue, although he usually scolded Jun for being too self-deprecating. “But why Shou and Yutaka? You might as well ship me with one of them.”

“They have chemistry”, Jun snorted, trying to dismiss the question.

“I do have chemistry with Yutaka as well”, Kenji clarified. “We’re close. And you know, that I actually do like men. Neither Shou nor Yutaka ever confirmed something like that. It would be logical to think of me first.”

Jun looked at Kenji’s chest, instead of meeting his eyes.

He imagined Kenji kissing Yutaka. It didn’t cause the warm fluttering in his chest, that he experienced whenever he imagined Shou and Yutaka together. Instead, his whole stomach bolted and he felt like throwing up.

He raised his gaze, meeting Kenji’s eyes. Their dark brown was tender, as always when he looked at Jun.

“I’m not good at asking for things myself”, Jun confessed quietly, his voice hoarse. “That doesn’t mean I’m selfless. Even if I don’t dare to want something, it doesn’t mean I can bring myself to share.”

Even if Jun didn’t dare to watch Kenji for too long, while he dozed off in the car. Even if he didn’t dare to think about the fact that he wasn’t wearing any clothes right now too intensely. He couldn’t bring himself to even imagine Kenji kissing someone else.

“You know”, Kenji said and reached for Jun’s hand. He took it and placed it against his chest, right above his heart, holding it in place. Jun could not sense his heartbeat, but he sensed how warm Kenji’s body felt and how smooth his skin. “You are allowed to want.”

Jun swallowed hard. He had known he was allowed to want for a long time already. Kenji had made that more than obvious. But still, Jun hadn’t dared.

“If it’s Shou and Yutaka”, he started hesitantly. “It’s not my fault, if it doesn’t work out. I can hope, and I can fantasize. But I don’t have to act on it and I can’t do anything wrong, that will ruin it. I can be happy, when I think about them, but I don’t have to be scared. It will never be my fault and it will never be me getting heartbroken. There is always a risk when you want things for yourself.”

“Don’t be scared”, Kenji whispered.

And Jun looked at him and finally allowed himself to let his eyes linger. He saw Kenji’s handsome features, his beautiful smile, his dark eyes - that always followed Jun through every room. And he allowed himself to feel his body against himself, the heat they were sharing underneath the one blanket. And with Kenji this close to himself, he hardly felt scared at all.

 *

“Oh no”, Yutaka groaned, when the moaning started. The walls of the hotel were so thin, they were able to hear everything perfectly.

“Ha!”, Shou exclaimed happily from the twin bed at the other side of the room. “Told you. Only one bed. It’s science!”

[toraonice]

Yuri on Ice interview translation - PASH! 2017/05 (p24-25)

I am pleased to bring you the very first interview with director Sayo Yamamoto!!! You don’t know how much I’ve been waiting for this... This one is pretty general because of course she has never been interviewed before so they are asking her the basics, but it’s very interesting to finally hear things from her perspective too, since she’s the one who started it all. More interviews with her will be appearing in other magazines in the near future, I’m looking forward to those ones too.

Also, I believe a bright future is to be expected for Yuri on Ice, since she seems to have lots of plans...!! (I was shivering typing out the translation, lol)

Translation is under the cut.

***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it*** 
***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***

Interview (first appearance in media!) The world of “Yuri on Ice” that director Yamamoto wanted to create With 8 notebooks full of notes in one hand, director Sayo Yamamoto has answered our interview for the first time. We have asked her how this new animation that no one had ever seen before was born.

I was convinced that this would become an animation work no one has seen before.

I want to turn figure skating into animation!!!

—First of all, could you tell us why you decided to create an anime about figure skating?

I’ve always liked figure skating. In the beginning I was a light fan who only watched it on TV, but little by little I started dedicating an extraordinary amount of time to it. When drawing action scenes in a storyboard I began to add figure skating elements, like “if I put a movement similar to the flying camel spin here it might be interesting” (LOL). Around the time I created “LUPIN the Third -Mine Fujiko to Iu Onna-“ (2012) I couldn’t hold back those feelings anymore, and I considered the possibility of creating an anime about figure skating to broadcast at the same time as the Sochi Olympics. However, since most people said that “figure skating requires a lot of animation frames and it would be very difficult to animate for a TV series”, I couldn’t find anyone who agreed to work on the project and two years passed. In the meantime I tried to incorporate figure skating into various works, like the OP of “Persona 5”, but I still strongly felt that I wanted to create an anime all about it. At the time of the Sochi Olympics I met a producer who was looking for a project, and when, without any expectation, I tried to propose my idea, maybe because of the Olympic mood (LOL), they told me that it sounded interesting. —Could you tell us how you decided to invite Mitsurou Kubo to join the staff?

First of all, when I came up with the idea of “a figure skater in a difficult situation and the athlete he admires, who is also his rival, becoming his coach”, I thought that Kubo-san would be able to draw it in a fascinating way. In the movie “Moteki*” (2011) she worked on the scenario in the form of a manga storyboard, and above all, I was a listener of her radio “All Night Nippon**”. I just had the feeling that with her I would be able to create an interesting story. [*translator’s note: The movie “Moteki” is based on the manga by Mitsurou Kubo] [**translator’s note: The exact name of the program is “Kubo Mitsurou, Noumachi Mineko no All Night Nippon”, it aired for almost 2 years between 2012-2014 and then for about 5 months in 2015] —What was it about her that attracted you?

I was often impressed by what she said. What I look for in an anime script is how many dialogues with a punch line you are able to insert. I can think about the outline of a story by myself, but I wanted to create it with someone who would be able to add punchy and impressive dialogues that would actually make the characters come alive. Kubo-san has done manga serializations for shounen manga magazines for a long time and also has experience drawing works created by other authors, therefore I thought that discussing together we could be able to create a powerful work. However, she was never involved in the creation of an anime, and I did understand that it would be challenging. The producer told me “wouldn’t it be better to add one more scriptwriter?”, but when I asked whether there was another person who was as passionate about figure skating as me I was told “there isn’t” (LOL). Since there was no other choice, I decided to study scriptwriting and create the series composition myself. Just at that time Kubo-san’s ongoing serialization ended, so I decided to ask her. We are also adjusting the animation based on the acting.

—How did production of the series advance, approximately?

I first came up with an outline of the full series, and talking with Kubo-san about that we decided the details and she drew the manga storyboard for episodes 1-5. But from episode 6 onwards it was like a venture into an unknown world (LOL). In the GP (Grand Prix) series I at least wanted to have 6 athletes compete in every episode. An anime episode is 20 min. 10 sec., and an actual SP (short program) is 2 min. 50 sec. When I ordered the music I had it shortened to about 2 minutes, but in the programs I wanted to incorporate all figure skating elements, so I asked the choreographer (Kenji) Miyamoto-sensei to adjust the time with transition parts and spins. However, since we still needed to make it shorter, when I created the composition first of all I calculated the exact time a character would skate, the exact time the following character would start skating and so on… all of it also considering flubbed jumps and such. Then we discussed the story more in detail and decided the elements and scenes we absolutely wanted to insert and the position of lines. Even so, when I translated this into the anime storyboard it was still too long, and editing required an exorbitant amount of time. The person who was in charge of it, Tomoki Nagasaka, is an outstanding editor who also has experience working in live action movies, so he managed to work it out somehow, but we really spent a huge amount of time on that every week. —Why did you decide to use original songs for the performances?

I thought that if we used existing songs people would already have their own impression of them based on real athletes who skated to them before, so they might end up comparing them to reality and not be able to enjoy them fully. We’re creating an original anime, it would be a pity if something like that happened and added pressure, wouldn’t it? I believed it would make more sense, as an anime, to create programs that no one has ever seen before, with songs that no one has ever heard before. —Could you tell us what you talked about with sound director Shimizu at the time of recording?

I have already worked with Shimizu-san in “LUPIN”, he’s very passionate about acting. He has the ability to organize actors, he read the story of “Yuri on Ice” enthusiastically and understood it fully, and on top of that he can even come up with things that I couldn’t think of, so I was sure I could entrust him with the job. While checking the acting, when I felt something wasn’t right most of the times Shimizu-san felt the same, therefore I trusted his judgement. “Yuri on Ice” has comical deformed parts too, but when we chose the cast we were careful to select voice actors who could act naturally. All of them were very skilled, so their acting was never drastically different from what I imagined. —Was there anything that impressed you during recording?

The voice actors always performed even better than we expected, so it happened that we changed the animation based on the acting. They were all subtle things, but that’s actually difficult. Anyone can easily be affected by a powerful line, so when a character says it you already get an impression of them, but a fine performance is what makes the difference and makes you feel that the character is really there, not just “a character inside an anime”. As long as I can I want to continue “Yuri on Ice”.

—What scenes impressed you in the anime?

What made me realize that this anime would become something amazing is Victor’s skating scene in episode 1. When we were editing this part, I was convinced that this would become an animation work no one has seen before. Of course I was confident even before that, but when I saw it turn into an actual 20 min. 10 sec. film I fully realized that we were creating something new. It’s not something I normally do, but at that time I told the producer “this anime is going to be amazing, it will definitely be successful!”. Usually, even if I think so myself, I don’t say it until the series is completed. However, their reaction was very weak, like “the schedule is already crazy, what are you saying?”… (LOL). Especially when it’s an original work, it happens often that the director is the only person who can see the whole picture. Also, if other people tell you right away “I know!”, “that’s nice!”, most of the times it means that it’s something they have already seen somewhere. That’s why on the contrary, when I got a weak response it made me confident that I was creating something new, something no one has ever imagined before. —Could you tell us about the ED?

For the ED song I ordered something that “could be played as the final song of an ice show or during the 6 minute warm-up”. Regarding the footage, first of all I reckoned it would be too much work to use skating scenes, therefore I thought we could use still pictures that had an impact and that could not fit in the actual anime. Many figure skaters use the SNS, so I thought it would be interesting to use that as a concept. For example, when we went location hunting in Karatsu I wanted to use the shower place we saw there, but since after all we couldn’t fit it in the anime, I asked to use it in the ED. In Almaty, the place where Otabek is, the subway is very deep, almost like a shelter. All the pictures were chosen based on the idea “a skater from this country could do this in this place”. (Yuuichirou) Hayashi-san took all these scattered ideas and organized them neatly. —I was a bit surprised to know that Otabek uses the SNS too.

He definitely does. Many foreign skaters have an account. For them it’s normal to show what they are doing. Otabek too is making full use of lots of SNS. I think that for skaters who have their base outside of their home country and travel the world SNS are also a way to keep connected to their friends and families. —The fireworks scene in the ED is also impressive.

That was Hayashi-san’s idea. The three of them weren’t actually together in Hasetsu in summer, so that scene is not something that happened at a certain time, it’s more like an imaginary world. Hayashi-san has good observation skills and the pictures he creates are always very convincing. He has the power to make you think that this might have actually happened. “This character might be doing this” is something that anyone could come up with, but Hayashi-san is able to show you one step ahead of that. —Could you tell us about the reading play that is going to be performed at the April 29 event?

Kubo-san and I conceived the basic ideas, and I was able to order the script from Kimiko Ueno-san, who among the people I know is the one who can write the craziest stories. I worked with Ueno-san in “Space Dandy” (2014) and I heard that she enjoyed “Yuri on Ice” until the end. I think it will be pretty crazy (LOL). —What about the future of the anime?

I’m being told “let’s continue as soon as possible” (LOL). I’ve already decided what to do next. I came up with it while doing the video editing for episode 10, but what I’m thinking is something grand, and I’m wondering, what will happen if I really do all of that…? At this moment, my intention is to continue “Yuri on Ice” as long as I can. —Could you let us know some information about the next releases?

The bonus footage of the last volume and Kubo-san’s manga that is going to be distributed as bonus for purchasing all the volumes are both awesome. The details will be announced soon, but I believe fans of Yurio and Otabek are going to be especially pleased. It will also include recording footage of Stéphane Lambiel’s appearance in the last episode! It’s precious footage that I took with my iPad during recording. Also, (character designer & chief animation director Tadashi) Hiramatsu-san and (animation director Noriko) Itou-san are doing their best fixing the animation, they’re having an immense amount of pictures redrawn. There are no ugly Victors in the BD/DVDs. In general, everything is being brushed up. It’s possible that the relationships between the characters too might look different in some instances. Therefore, if you are unsure about buying the volumes, I would recommend that you do. Thank you very much!

By the way, since she talked a lot about the ending footage, I’ll link you the interview with Yuuichirou Hayashi that I translated from Animage some time ago, as he talks more in detail about how it was created. You can find it here.

[dictionaryrainbowarchive]

Sakamoto Realties: Part One, Natsuki

Natsuki double-checked the address on the ad in the free real estate magazine, 3 Bancho Nakano Building.

This was it. Unlike most other real estate agencies in Japan, there were no brightly colored flags outside advertising its location and there were no new listings posted outside for the casual passerby to look at. The only indication that it was there was the small little name plate bearing the name ‘Sakamoto Real Estate—Third Floor’.

It wasn’t that flashy stuff that had drawn Natsuki to this agent (aside from not actually having any, the building was appallingly dingy). It wasn’t the listings in the free magazine (in fact, she wasn’t even able to find a single listing by this place). It was the ad that had attracted her: “If the first place we show you isn’t perfect, we’ll pay the deposit no matter where you rent from.”

Natsuki closed the magazine and put it in her non-designer purse, took out a tissue, and pushed the grimy up button. While she waited for the elevator to crawl its way down to her, she once again cursed her misfortune at being transferred. She begged and pleaded with her boss, but it had come down from the home office and was out of his control. What was done was done and she was going to have to do this sooner or later.

The elevator arrived and Natsuki slunk in. The doors rattled shut and the miserable girl felt like it was a sign of her fate being sealed. She wasn’t the only person being transferred out of her office, but that didn’t stop her from feeling singled out.

She regretted not going to a single office party, but it just wasn’t in her. There was always someone who was a little too drunk, someone who was a little too forward, or someone who was too insistent on everyone going to karaoke. Or, the whole thing was just a bit too loud and Natsuki would wind up having a panic attack.

On top of that, there’d just always been so many. There was the annual end of year party, followed by the annual beginning of the year party. There was the Ohanami party, a picnic beneath the cherry blossoms. After that there was all sorts of celebratory parties for completing contracts or signing new ones or just the random team builder.

The ones that Natsuki dreaded turning down the most were the beer garden parties. All you the food can eat and all the beer and wine coolers you can drink sounded like fun, and Natsuki wished she was the type of person who could enjoy such things, but just the idea of sitting on top of a tall building surrounded by a hundred drunk people in a place called a beer garden was enough to cause her to hyperventilate.

With so many parties, Natsuki felt that at some point she’d come out of her shell and join in, but she hadn’t even shown up to the farewell party cast in her honor.

Natsuki’s heart leapt as the elevator jerked when it started its slow ascent. Even though she rode the shaky elevator up by herself, Natsuki felt crammed in; she noticed the capacity was six persons. She was barely able to make that out through all the stains that covered the walls. To make things worse, it reeked of cigarette smoke. Were people that inconsiderate that they’d smoke in such a tiny elevator Natsuki wondered?

The two signifying the second floor flickered on and the one finally faded out. Natsuki’s leg started shaking in anticipation of getting out of the small death trap. Her movements sent vibrations through the elevator and made it shake even more. Forcing her leg still, Natsuki chewed on her lower lip. Her adrenaline-fueled heart worked overtime, and she could feel the blood gushing through it.

At last the floor bell chimed, and Natsuki jumped out as soon as the doors were open wide enough for her to get out with out making actual contact. The elevator deposited her directly into the real estate office.

In stark contrast to the rest of the building, the office was pristine. Freshly painted white walls seemed to glow in the fluorescent light shining down from the fixtures. Plants thrived in front of immaculately clean windows. There wasn’t even a speck of dust on the floor.

A busty young woman smiled at Natsuki as she walked in. “Welcome!” she beamed.

Natsuki weakly smiled back. “Hi. I’m being transferred here in April and...”

“Oh, Goodie!” the girl cut her off. “How smart of you to come early! February and March are our busiest months with all the transfers in April. You know how companies all over Japan just send their employees everywhere. I’m so glad I work at this small place with Sakamoto-san. He’s so nice. I don’t know what I would do if I got transferred. This time of year it’s like a war over the better apartments. Not that I would get transferred since this is our only office. I think it’s a nice office. The outside is kind of icky and the elevator... Anyway I work really hard to keep it nice and clean in here. That’s what I do. I love to clean, but not as much as I love to file, if you know what I mean.”

Natsuki just nodded in response. She reached into her bag and pulled out the listings magazine. “I saw your ad in this and it intrigued me,” Natsuki said.

“Silly me! Here I am prattling away at you when you’re here on business. Let me call my boss. He’s so good at finding people the perfect place. He even found me mine. Sakamoto-san!”

A balding man came out from the partition behind the bubbly girl. His beer-belly rested on top of his belt and his stained tie followed the gentle swell. He gave Natsuki a big smile. Even at a distance, she could see the yellowing effect that countless cigarettes had had on his teeth.

He gestured for Natsuki to sit down at the counter and then sat down across from her. The once-bright room seemed to dim and become a spotlight illuminating her for the man’s roaming eyes. She clutched her cheap purse to her chest and stared at the counter top. The polished surface twisted its clean appearance into an unwanted mirror. No matter where she looked, Natsuki couldn’t avoid seeing his gaze.

“I’m Kenji Sakamoto,” the man said and held out a business card for her.

Without looking up at him, Natsuki reached out two tentative hands and gingerly took the card between her thumbs and index fingers; the slightest of breeze would have knocked it out of her fingers. She wanted to just drop it on the counter, but not wanting to be rude, set it down on the counter in front of her and looked at it. She used it to break the reflective property of the counter.

Natsuki wasn’t repulsed by how he looked; she was repulsed because he was a man. She didn’t trust men. She didn’t entirely trust women, either. She just tolerated them more.

She was used to the people she worked with and could speak to people over the phone, but if she was around any man she didn’t know, all she could think of was running away. Sakamoto’s slovenly appearance didn’t help.

“So, looking for a new place to live?” He asked. His breath smelled of smoke and whatever garlicky substance he had been eating for lunch.

Natsuki nodded. He waited for her to say something. When she didn’t, he said, “Okay,” and handed her a piece of paper. “Please fill this out and we can get started.”

He offered her a pen, but she took one out of her purse instead and started writing. It asked for her name and birth date, current address, contact information and current employer. There was also a short survey as to how she’d found the agency. After filling it out, she turned the paper towards Sakamoto, put her pen back in her purse, and clutched it to her chest.

The bubbly girl who had greeted Natsuki came over with a fresh cup of coffee and set it in front of her. Natsuki nodded her appreciation and the girl stepped back, hugging the service tray to her ample bosom.

Sakamoto had finished reading the paper and looked up at Natsuki. “So, you’re an omizu, huh?”

Natsuki flared with anger, but before she could say anything, Sakamoto’s assistant slapped him on the back, “No, silly! She’s not a hostess. She’d a nice office lady who’s being transferred!”

“Clearly, Akiko. I can tell by looking she’s an OL,” Sakamoto said, referring to Natsuki by the Japanese colloquialism. “It was just a joke.” Sakamoto’s red checks gave away the anger his tone hid. “I was just trying to lighten the mood here.”

Akiko laughed. “I get it!”

Sakamoto rolled his eyes. “There’s some filing I’d like you to do. Go to it.”

Akiko’s bright and smiley face lit up even more. “Really?! You mean it?” Natsuki did everything possible to repress her amazement that this bubbly girl somehow became even perkier...

“Yes! Go file!”

“Oh my god! I love filing!” Akiko turned and dashed around the partition.

“I’m sorry about my assistant, she’s a little spacey sometimes, but she sure keeps this place clean.”

Natsuki didn’t respond. She wished she’d never come to this realty. Not only was he a man, he was repugnant and rude. She couldn’t wait to reject whatever dive he showed her and get the deposit money the ad promised.

“I’d also like to apologize for my crass humor. I’m afraid I spent too much time in America and their sense of humor has rubbed off on me.” His apology made Natsuki feel slightly better, but she still couldn’t wait to be done with him.

“So, I see you found us through our ad. I can promise you, I’m as good as it says. I’ve never once had to pay out a deposit.” Natsuki doubted it. It either meant he’d just started in this business or that he hadn’t been offering it long.

“I’ve been in this business since I got back from America about 10 years ago, so I’m pretty good at knowing what people want. About three years in, a buddy of mine got tired of hearing me boast about how good I was and told me to put my money where my mouth was. Here I am, seven years later and still not a dime given.”

Natsuki’s gaze never left his card. Well, someone’s got to be the first.

“And don’t you go thinking you’re going to be the first. I’ve got you pegged,” he told her. “Let’s see,Oh! I know where your company is and I’ve got a 1LDK pretty much on top of where you’ll work.”

1LDK? Natsuki wondered to herself.

“Oh, sorry. You’re definitely not the moving type. I shouldn’t just throw out all this real estate lingo. A 1LDK is a place where the living room, dining room, and kitchen are all one big room and then you’ve got another separate room for the bedroom. They’re the best for single people. They’re cheap and usually have air conditioning units pre-installed. 2DKs and up, most of them don’t even have overhead light fixtures!”

A 1LDK sounded good to Natsuki.

“So, we’re set on a 1LDK,” Sakamoto said. Natsuki furrowed her brow. Sakamoto laughed, Natsuki winced as his foul breath washed over her. “Sorry if it seems like I’m reading your thoughts. I really am just that good. Anyway, like I was saying, it’s really close to where you’ll be working.”

Maybe he was that good Natsuki thought. It sounded perfect. Stress she wasn’t even aware of lifted off her shoulders. If it was that close to where I would work it means that I won’t have to spend as much time outside around people.

“Shall we go see it?” Sakamoto asked. Natsuki nodded once in response.

“Okay then. Let me go get the keys.” The real estate agent got up and headed to the other side of the partition. Natsuki sat by herself and sipped the coffee she’d been given. Now that Sakamoto wasn’t there talking, Natsuki thought she could hear a vibrating sound and an occasional slight moan.

“Akiko,” Sakamoto’s voice came drifting in from the other side.

“Yesssss!” Akiko said.

“Akiko, I’m taking the client to see a place.”

“Uhhh...”

“Akiko. Akiko! Okay, you can keep filing. I’ll turn the elevator off, but answer the phone if someone calls. Okay? Akiko? What are you going to do?”

“File...”

“And?”

“Answer the PHONE!” Akiko screamed.

Sakamoto reappeared around the corner with a smirk on his face. “Sorry, she just really does love filing. She says she just loves putting stuff where it belongs.”

He walked over and pushed the button for the elevator. Natsuki waited behind him. The doors clattered open and Sakamoto reached behind her and put his hand on her arm too guide her forward. Natsuki instinctively jumped away from him. If Sakamoto noticed, he didn’t show it.

The two got on the elevator and Natsuki tried her best to avoid touching Sakamoto or the walls, but the elevator was too small and she couldn’t avoid brushing up against him. She felt like filth was infiltrating into her body, not only where their arms made contact, but also where he had touched her earlier.

Natsuki squeezed through the still-opening doors into the cool crisp air. Her arms pulsed where they’d been touched. Sakamoto strolled out of the elevator and had a cigarette lit before he was all the way out.

“My car’s just over here,” he said and gestured her to follow him. Sakamoto hit the unlock bottom on the remote entry key and opened the passenger side door for Natsuki. “Hop on in.”

Sakamoto closed the door behind her. He took one last drag on his cigarette before stomping it out and walking around to the driver’s side. “It shouldn’t take too long to get there,” he said. “Maybe 20 minutes or so. Let’s put your purse in the back though.”

Sakamoto reached over and took the bag out of her hands. Natsuki let go of it the instant his hands made contact with hers. Natsuki’s hands joined her arms in the feeling of uncleanliness. She resolved to throw the purse away when she got home.

“Isn’t that better?” Sakamoto asked, completely ignoring his passenger’s discomfort. He started the car and reached over to put his hand behind the passenger seat so he could turn around and back out of the parking space. Natsuki leaned forward to avoid his hand but was too late; a large clump of hair got tangled up in his hand.

“Oops, sorry about that,” he apologized. “I really should back into my parking space like most Japanese do, but most Americans pull in head first and I guess that’s just another thing that rubbed off on me.”

Natsuki didn’t care what had rubbed off on him in America. She just wished he’d stop rubbing on her. Could she wash that dirty feeling out of her hair or would she have to get it cut off?

Sakamoto backed out on to the road, put the car in first, and took them on their way. They rode in silence while Sakamoto navigated the narrow back streets. When he finally pulled on to a main road, he glanced over at Natsuki and asked, “Been to many other places yet?”

Natsuki shook her head no.

“So I’m the first, huh?”

She nodded.

“Well, you saved yourself a lot of time. When you see this place I’m taking you to, you’ll wish you could already move in.”

Natsuki doubted it. “Hey, you’ve got something here,” he said. Faster than Natsuki thought possible, his hand reached over and brushed her cheek and up against her lips as she jerked away.

The dirty tingling sensation buzzed in her cheek and lips. “Don’t you dare touch me!” she screamed.

“Sorry! I’m sorry. Please calm down. You had some cream or something from the coffee on your cheek...”

“Don’t. Don’t touch me.”

“Here,” he said and offered her his handkerchief. Natsuki sneered at it. She reached into the back seat and pulled one out of her purse. She wiped her face with it and then threw it on the floor. The feeling of being contaminated didn’t go away.

“Even if you are yelling at me, it’s nice to finally hear you talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said.

“You’re talking now,” he joked. “And you’ve got a lovely voice.”

“Thank you,” Natsuki said and then clamped her mouth shut. Why was she thanking him? She didn’t care what he thought of her voice. She should have demanded that he let her out, the free deposit be damned.

“So, will this be your first time living on your own?”

Don’t answer him. “Yes, I even lived with my parents while I was going to community college. And like most unmarried girls, I’m still at home with them even though I’m 25.” No! Why was she talking to him? She didn’t like talking to people and she didn’t like him. All she wanted to do was ride in silence and get away from him as soon as she could. “How long were you in America?” she asked, then clamped her mouth shut.

“I was there for about 15 years,” he answered.

Natsuki didn’t hear what he said. She was trying to figure out why she had asked him in the first place. “Oh? What took you over there?”

“I went over to study at UCLA at first, but transferred to this little school in Chrystal Heights, Florida called MCU.”

Natsuki’s mouth had developed a mind of its own. She had no interest in continuing the conversation, but her mouth did. “You must be pretty smart and speak good English then, huh?”

“I sure am and I sure do.”

Sure is humble, Natsuki thought. “What’d you study over there?” Natsuki gave up trying to stop herself. She just sat there and listened to the conversation her mouth was having with Sakamoto.

“Pretty much everything,” he laughed. “I’m not really sure if I graduated or if they got tired of me being there and kicked me out.”

Natsuki laughed, too.

“I think I wound up with a double major in Psychology and Business with a Marketing minor.”

“Do you ever miss it?”

“Yes and no. I had a lot of fun over there, but it’s always nice to be back home, you know?”

“Since I’ve never left, yeah!” Sakamoto laughed at Natsuki’s joke. “To be honest, I’m really nervous about it,” she said.

“To be honest, you’re doing a terrible job of hiding it!”

Natsuki couldn’t help but laugh with Sakamoto he was laughing so hard.

“Well, we’re here,” Sakamoto said and pulled up to a building.

Natsuki hadn’t ever enjoyed talking to someone she didn’t know like that . She was actually sad that they had arrived.

“It’s this building to our left. If you want to get out here and wait, it’s a bit of a ways to the closest parking spot,” Sakamoto told Natsuki.

“Okay,” she said and smiled. She grabbed her purse out of the back,

“Let me get that tissue,” Sakamoto said, referring to the tissue she’d wiped off her cheek with and thrown on the floor. He reached over and picked it up, and wiped Natsuki’s shoes off with it. “You had a little bit of mud on there.”

Natsuki thanked him, got out of the car, and watched it pull away. Natsuki took in the surroundings and the smile fell off of her face.

All of the buildings around her had neon sign stacked upon neon sign, announcing the name of a different caba-club on each floor. Mixed in every now and then was the name of a Japanese-style bar or restaurant, but , they were almost universally hostess bars.

Natsuki folded her arms across her chest. Very few people walked the streets around her. The few that she could see were mainly bar keeps dumping garbage or setting out crates of empty beer bottles. Natsuki avoided eye contact with all of them. She wanted to get out of there immediately. Sakamoto had to be mistaken. There was no way her company had an office in this area.

Several minutes later, Sakamoto came half running, half waddling up the street, while puffing on a cigarette. Despite the crisp February air, beads of perspiration dotted his balding forehead. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said. Natsuki didn’t respond. “Hey, You okay?” he asked and put a hand on her back.

Natsuki twisted away from him. The feelings of uncleanliness on her body came throbbing back, her arms, her cheek, her rear, and now her back, too. “I want to get out of here,” she muttered.

“But you haven’t even seen the place yet,” Sakamoto replied.

She didn’t need to see it. She couldn’t live in a place like this; at night it would be crawling with drunks and perverts. Natsuki just looked at the ground.

“You know, if you don’t actually look at it, it doesn’t count as the first place and I can’t give you any deposit money.”

Natsuki stared at the ground. Was it worth it? All she had to do was go up, walk in, and say no. It wouldn’t take longer than five minutes. Even though she’d heard the average deposit for a place could cost well over three months rent, she was still tempted to leave on the spot. “Fine, take me up,” she said.

Sakamoto led her down a small hallway in the building in front of her. They got into the elevator at the end of it. Next to the button of each floor was the name of the joint that was on that floor. Sakamoto took out his keys and inserted one next to the button for the tenth floor. It was the only one that didn’t have the name of a bar next to it.

“Just like the penthouse of a hotel,” he laughed, turned his key, and the elevator smoothly started its ascent.

Like the elevator at the real estate office, this one was small enough that she couldn’t help but bump into Sakamoto as they rode. Unlike the elevator at the real estate office, this one was clean; the walls were a faux wood surface that shined with a freshly polished look and the floor looked like it had been buffed that morning.

Natsuki read the names of all the places in her building. Not her building! She would never live here. Only the place on the third floor seemed like a legitimate restaurant. Natsuki didn’t even want to see the type of girls that worked at Fluffy Bounce, the place on the fifth floor.

“Fluffy Bounce in a great caba-club, by the way,” Sakamoto said. “It’s well regarded as the number one club in this area of Japan. I don’t think there’s a girl there who makes less than 30,000 yen an hour. That’s the club that makes sure this building is spotless. I sure wish I could go there more often, but once a month is usually about all I can afford. Amazing girls.”

Natsuki didn’t feel sorry for him. If he wanted to waste his money on bimbos and booze, that was his prerogative, just as long as his company had enough to pay her deposit like he promised.

“I could put a word in with them if you ever wanted a job there.”

Her cheeks flushed red with anger. All over soon. All over soon.

Sakamoto shifted his body weight behind Natsuki and used it as an excuse to touch her ass. Natsuki clenched her fists, but didn’t say anything. She felt dirty all over her body, but ignored it, after all she’d be done with him soon.

The elevator chimed and its doors opened. The pair got out into a small hallway. Directly across from the elevator was a door to the emergency exit stairwell. “It locks from the outside,” Sakamoto said pointing at the door. “You can get out through it without a key, but to get in, you have to have this key,” he dangled the key he used to start the elevator, “or you have to be an emergency worker and get the lock overridden from downtown. This place is safety first.”

That made Natsuki feel safe and relieved. Only she could get in and out of here with ease. If any of her customers turned stalker like the last place she lived... Customers? Stalkers? She didn’t have any of those. She was an office lady who had no direct contact with anyone, not some whore that worked at a caba-club.

This place was messing with her head. “I want to leave,” she said.

“But you haven’t even seen the room yet.”

“I want to leave.”

“Okay, but you’ll lose the deposit.”

“I don’t care. I want to leave.”

“Your loss,” Sakamoto said and turned back to the elevator.

“Does... does that include the reikin and introduction fees?”

“Of course.”

At most places, not only did the deposit usually run three months rent, there was an additional reikin, a non-refundable “thank you” to the landlord for allowing you to rent the place, and an introduction fee paid to the real estate agent. That could be well over 500,000 yen in a large city all added together. “Fine,” she gave in. “Show me the place and then I want to leave immediately.”

Sakamoto had a big grin on his face when he turned back around, “That a girl!” he said. He walked over to the door, unlocked it and opened it for Natsuki. She walked over, peered inside and then looked back at Sakamoto as if to say let’s go.

“You do actually have to go in and look at everything,” he said.

Natsuki sighed and stepped inside. The entrance was like a little separate room. Straight ahead was a closed door that lead into the main part of the place. To her right was a large shoe cabinet and a small counter for her purse.

She tossed her Luis Vuitton purse on the counter and did a double take. Had there been two bags in Sakamoto’s car and she’d taken the wrong one? She opened it up, pulled out the Chanel wallet and looked at the driver’s license; it was hers.

The trip to France with one of her favorite customers came flashing back to her. She remembered drinking Champagne in the store while they waited for the clerks to package all the things he’d bought her. Then that night at the hotel she remembered passionately... No! She was an OL! There was no way she could have afforded these things on her salary. She was not a hostess.

Forgetting about her purse, she slipped out of her black and white striped Charlotte Olympia heels. Wait, they were loafers, weren’t they? No, loafers don’t have 6 inch heels. Stepping up onto the hardwood floor, she opened the door to the main room. She wanted to flee, but forced herself through for the money. Natsuki was not prepared for the grandeur that waited her on the other side of the door.

Sakamoto followed her through and noted her speechlessness. “Sorry, I forgot to mentioned that it’s fully furnished.” He set down a pair of slippers for Natsuki. She slid her into them without a thought.

Fully furnished was an understatement. The brand new Sharp flat screen TV that sat against the far wall to the right had to be at least 50 inches. In front of it was a large white Ikea sofa and a very nice kotatsu (a large coffee table with a heater built in underneath it). The sofa and kotatsu sat on an ordinate Persian rug.

“The LDK is about 26 jou, roughly 43 square meters,” Sakamoto explained. Natsuki turned her view from the TV area and looked at the cute table in front of her. It had two chairs tucked under it and on top of it, a flower vase with a single red rose in it. The table matched the living room furniture perfectly.

To the left was a fully stocked counter kitchen. Two bar stools sat under the counter and on the other side was the sink and generous space to cook. Behind the counter was an IH electric stove and more cooking space. Natsuki walked around to the other side of the counter.

“If you open the large drawer next to the sink, you’ll see it’s got a built in dishwasher.” Natsuki followed his instructions and pulled out the large drawer and looked with joy. She couldn’t believe this place was hers. As she opened the refrigerator that was built into the wall in between the counter and stove, part of her demanded that she forget the money and just run now; it was drowned out by the other part of her that wondered what the bedroom would be like.

“Are you sure I can afford this place?” she asked.

“You? Oh yeah. Wait till you see the bedroom, though,” he smiled.

Natsuki’s long, tight dress forced her to shuffle-walk out of the kitchen to stand next to Sakamoto. She smoothed it out with her hands, even off the clock she had to be presentable. No, she was an OL. She came here wearing a black skirt and green sweater jacket, not this white designer dress.

No, she was and OL before she became an omizu. Dresses don’t just magically appear, and an OL definitely wouldn’t be able to type with the extravagant manicured nails she had. Yet, something still didn’t feel right. She wasn’t supposed to be a hostess.

“The bedroom’s just through there,” Sakamoto said and pointed at the double sliding doors on the same wall as the stove. Sakamoto blatantly rubbed his hand across her flat chest as he pointed. That broke Natsuki out of her reverie.

Part of her felt the anger and the dirtiness of being so vulgarly touched, but all she said was, “Oh, thank you.” She slid one of the doors open and blinked at the queen sized canopy bed on the other side. In spite of the tightness of her dress, Natsuki glided into the room and marveled at the giant bookshelf against the wall with the door. It was filled with books from classic literature to Pop fiction and Samurai period pieces.

As Natsuki ran her hand across the collection, she could vividly remember reading every one, even ones she knew she was seeing for the first time. If one of her customers mentioned a book or author she didn’t know, she’d rush out and buy it as soon as she got off work and plow through it before work the next day.

There was another fluttering in her heart telling her to run, instead, she went and rifled through the stack of newspapers on the bedside table. All of the major papers were there; the Daily Yomiuri, Asahi Daily and Financial Times. There were even several local papers from various parts of the country, places where some of her more regular customers were from.

She wanted to be the top hostess in Japan. One day she would move to Tokyo and fight for that title in the Ginza bars. That meant being well read and knowing intimate details about everywhere in Japan. After all, she never knew who would be sitting at her table next. Her rule was that they came for the looks and stayed for the conversation.

Natsuki opened the large walk-in closet and looked at the rows of designer dresses. They were all various colors and designs, but all had two things in common: they fit her tightly and were cut low to show off her ample cleavage.

A year after starting work as a hostess, Natsuki had taken all the money she had saved and had implants put in by one of the top surgeons in Japan. They were nearly perfect. They looked and felt natural, even the porn star Aoi Sora, whose implants were almost as undetectable, would have been jealous. The only thing that cast doubt on their realness was their size; there’s no way such large breasts could form on a girl of her small stature.

Natsuki headed into the spacious bathroom. There was no washing machine; it was on the roof that Natsuki could access through the stairwell. She liked doing all of her laundry up there just in case a very good paying customer wanted to come upstairs to her place and take a bath with her in her jacuzzi sized bath tub. She’d press her large breasts into his back as she would scrub him down in the shower, before getting in the tub together for the real fun.

Her apartment was the one thing keeping her here. Oh, how she loved it. Mr Sakamoto, no, Ken-chan, really did find her the perfect place. Who would have imagined this place? If only he could find her something like it in Ginza.

Natsuki checked her appearance in the mirror. Ken-chan was coming over with some paperwork that she had to sign, something about misplacing the original contract she’d signed for this place.

She wanted to make sure her makeup was still perfect and that her hair still had it perfect curls flowing down to her luscious chest. The reflection in the mirror wasn’t the sex goddess, conversation queen she expected. Looking back at her was a frumpy OL. Not only was she not wearing makeup and her hair poorly kept, but she was wearing the ugliest green sweater jacket that had no traces of breasts beneath it.

Natsuki screamed. What had happened to her? How had she... No, her reflection was true, her memories were the lies. She was the frumpy OL, not the whore of her imagination. Sakamoto! He was doing this to her. She could feel his filth where he’d touched her still; her hair, her hands, her arms, her ass, her cheek, her back, and her breasts. He had violated her.

“Sakamoto!” she cried and stormed out into the large combination room. He stood at the counter holding a pen and her personal seal. There was a contract laid out on the counter. Rage coursed through Natsuki’s veins, but Sakamoto’s look stopped her in her tracks.

“Sign the contract and you can have your dreams. You saw how this was your perfect place. Now sign the contract and make it real,” he told her.

“But that wasn’t me,” she heaved.

“Yes, it is.”

“That wasn’t me.”

“No, not yet. It was how you’ve always wished you could be. Now you can. Just sign it and stamp your name.”

Natsuki looked at the door. “You can go,” he said. “And in ten days, 500,000 yen will appear in your bank account, like promised. Or you can sign and have everything.”

Natsuki wanted to leave. She wanted her stumpy legs to carry her out the door and to never look back. But, she wanted her legs to be the long, slender pillars of her imagination. In her mind, she was rich, attractive, and could converse. She was desirable. The her in reality was none of those things.

She remembered both lives. She remembered the misery and depression of her current life; she remembered the fun and excitement of her dream life. She worked a lot harder in her “bimbo” life, but got everything she desired and more. Could she do it? Could she turn herself into the slut by her own hand?

She couldn’t go back to her real life knowing what joys she could have; her depressing existence would become suicidal. She took the pen from Sakamoto’s hand and set it to the paper. Sakamoto placed his free hand on her crotch and rubbed her while she signed.

When he’d touched her before, she’d only felt dirty. This time, the dirty feeling gave way to excitement and heat; he was making her horny. She took her seal and stamped it in all the appropriate places; the part of her that had been screaming for her to run cried out as if she’d just finished signing a deal with the devil. The part of her that wanted to sign it screamed out in orgasm.

All of her fears, all of her worries and insecurities, disappeared as if she screamed them out with her climax. She was ready to start her new life. No, she’d always been on this path, the OL was just a nightmare.

Natsuki wasn’t sure if she shuddered because of Sakamoto’s manipulations of her clit, or if she shuddered out of excitement. Tomorrow, she would call her old job and quit. After that, all she needed would be a job at a hostess bar and those tits. She pulled Sakamoto’s hand deeper into her crotch.

“Oh, Ken-chan, that feels so good,” she said. “I was feeling so bad. I had the worst dream. I dreamed I was this nasty OL and I was so mean to you.”

“Honey, I wish you’d be a nasty OL for me,” Sakamoto smiled and winked.

“Not this kind of nasty, perv,” Natsuki giggled. She took her hands off of his and put them on his cock. “But I can be her now if you’d like.”

Sakamoto could still hear the fear in her voice. “It’s okay, that bad dream is over,” he comforted her.

Natsuki smiled at him. “Do you think you’d mind calling Fluffy Bounce and seeing if you couldn’t get me an interview?” she asked.

“Babe, consider yourself hired.”

“You’re just too good to me.” Natsuki said. She squatted down and undid his pants. She knew she’d love this part of her job. She smiled and put Sakamoto in her mouth. She was on her way to becoming her dream girl.