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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #265

“all is fair in love and war, i’m still rotten to the core.”

What's the latest youtube channel you've discovered and binge-watched? Ha, a WoW channel that basically gives advice and tutorials on stuff. She doesn't have many videos, but she's pretty successful already and chill as hell. Kraken Latte. Does it snow where you live? Occasionally. Very rarely does the snow stick, though, because the ground will be too warm. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? Short. Do you look best with or without bangs? Bitch I loved my emo bangs fuck off. Well, they weren't technically bangs, my hair was just parted far to the left. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Well, my phone doesn't have GREAT camera quality, but I usually do some subtle edits if I take a pic on it. What's your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Which season do you wish would last longer? Shit man, fall. At least here, the phase of colorful leaves is VERY short. Goes from green to totally bare in what feels like just a couple weeks. How many outdoor birthday parties have you had? Hell if I know. How much taller or shorter are you than your mom? We're the same height. Who is your favorite sibling? Lol wow that's mean. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Do you like sushi? I've actually never tried it, but I'm quite certain I wouldn't like it. Have you ever tried seaweed? Actually yes, I believe in the 4th grade? We had I think authentic Japanese (or Chinese, idr) food, and I recall there being seaweed. I didn't like it. The only thing I liked was the white rice, I think. Do you have an actual pig-shaped piggy bank? No, but I think I may have as a kiddo. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? No. Have you ever been to a gynecologist? I actually haven't because I've always said I wasn't sexually active (back then it wasn't a conscious lie, I just genuinely didn't realize what we were doing was just shallow sex). I'm absolutely terrified to go anyway because I'm just very very very private about this sort of thing and honestly think I'll have a panic attack when I do have to for the first time anyway. Name three games that you are good at. Shadow of the Colossus, Silent Hill, World of Warcraft. What was your favorite board game as a kid? Ha ha, somehow, it was this shopping game called "Mall Madness." Veeeery unfitting of who I was and what I enjoyed as a kid. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. Did you watch the Kids Choice Awards when you were a kid? No. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, I think. Do you have memories that still make you cry? Yes. Have you made your own mask to help prevent the spread of the virus? No, considering I don't leave the damn house like ever. Do you know anyone who has the virus? Yes. Not personally, but distantly. Are you proud to be an American? (if applicable) Sometimes. What countries have you visited? I haven't left America. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. How many true heartbreaks have you had in your lifetime? Romantically, I only consider one to be a *real* heartbreak. Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah. Do you feel like everything is falling apart around you? BOY DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was your first kiss romantic? Yes. Do you miss any of your exes right now? My PTSD has been awful awful AWFUL the past few days, so yes. A lot. Have you ever overdosed on anything? Yes. What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? I'd be happy for her of course, but I'd also be very confused. She's made it clear she doesn't believe a relationship is the best idea for her right now. Who was your date to prom? Jason took me to his senior prom, and I took him to mine. Do you still talk to your first love? No, I haven't spoken to him in over three years now. Wow. Whose wedding did you go to first? I don't remember. I'm sure it wasn't the first, but ONE of the earliest that I do remember was when my friend Summer's mom got remarried. He sadly passed away a long while ago though. Are you ashamed of anyone you've dated in the past? Tyler, yes. It was so pointless and a "let's see how this goes" versus a "I really like this guy and really want this relationship" thing. I honestly think I only said yes to dating because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I was lonely. What about anyone you've been friends with? There were certainly times it felt very weird calling Colleen my best friend with how bitchy she could be. Especially when you consider how non-confrontational I am, while she charged like a goddamn bull into arguments. Have you ever made out with someone in a pool? Uhhh I think that one night when I lived at the apartment and it was just us out there late at night. He and I went back inside before Jacob and Amanda TO hardcore make out because we both way too obviously wanted it so I wouldn't be remotely surprised if we snuck in some action at the pool oof. Who’s the last person that slept over your house? Sara. Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone with a tongue ring? No, I was the person with the tongue ring. I actually took it out a little while back because I was tired of accidentally chomping down on it when eating and chipping teeth. I'd already told myself if I did it one more time I would, and especially right now, we can't afford to keep filling cavities that have come from it. I don't at all regret getting it and it'll always be one of the cutest piercings I think I've ever had, but it was just time for it to come out. Is it hard for you to get over a lover? I THINK I'VE MADE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! O BVIO US S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever tried making someone jealous? Not to my recollection. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Both of us really, but she initiated the breakup, you could say. Who is the last person you flirted with? Sara. Who's the most racist person you know? Jesus Christ, I live in the South. I know dozens of racists. I guess the worst is uhhh OH the aforementioned Colleen, holy fucking shit. I highly highly highly doubt that has changed at all since we last associated with each other. If you could be a film character, who would you be? Let me be Alice Liddell. Crunchy peanut butter or smooth? Smooth is the only way to go with pb. Would you rather always be in a crowd, or be the only person on earth? "Always be in a crowd. It wouldn’t be fun, but I think it’d be better than being that alone." <<<< This. I legitimately think I'd wind up killing myself in the other case. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Why? "Rich, because...what’s the point of being famous if you’re not rich? Just everyone knowing all of your business?" <<<< Also this. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom? "I start off from the top until it gets used enough that I have to squeeze up from the bottom." <<<< Lemme just steal all this person's answers lmao. How many children do you want? Girls or boys? None, but if I was to have kids, I'd definitely want a girl. Is there a story behind your name? What is it? No. What was one of the most fun things you and your college roommate did together? I didn't have a college roommate. Well wait no, during my first college attempt is when I lived w/ Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. I'd honestly prefer to not think too hard back on it to answer this. Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don't even have a bank account. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? Yeah, multiple. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Pads or tampons, nah. I'd feel awkward buying condoms though. Are your parents gullible? Dad probably is; he has very little common sense. I got it from him lmao. Mom, heeeeell no. Do you still own a VCR? No. What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? It's black. No. Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? All three do. Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. How often do you drink Monster? Never, because I don't like it. Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? HAHA I was a cringy teen once, my friends. Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? Inside. I feel safer. Do you own a nightgown? No, I haven't worn those since I was a kid. Have you ever worn fishnets? Fishnet gloves. I WISH I could pull off fishnet pants. Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? In times like THESE???????? Bitch I wanna go eat out at a yummy restaurant. Do you always wear your seat belt? ABSOLUTELY. I get so stressed out when I see people not wearing one. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? Not much older. Have you ever been in a play? Just school ones as a kid. Is there ice cream in your freezer? No, but there's popsicles from when I couldn't get my tongue ring out and it was massively swollen and in terrible pain. Thank God I finally got it out. Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? Probably. Does your bathroom have a window? Yeah, but it's very small and up kinda high. Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? I used to, but I don't anymore. I just leave them be. Do you believe prayer really works? Nope. Have you been on a date in the park? No. Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? A whole. Fucking. Lot. To just name a few, depression, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, diabetes... Do you have asthma? No. Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Jason. Least favorite alcoholic drink? Mother of God, this white wine I tried at Colleen's forever ago. It was fucking repulsive. How did you meet the last male you texted? I mean I literally came from his balls so like Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Ha ha yeah, the one I've always had. It's not very adult-ish or "serious"-sounding, but I don't want to change it now. Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? Left. I squeeze with my right. Do you have a bull ring through your nose? No, I don't feel that would look good on me. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? My last year of art in high school. I made an anatomical heart for Jason. I wonder a lot if he still has it after how much work I put into it. Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I adore art. The world would be so much more boring without it. If you had to choose would you prefer dull pain for 12hours or sharp for 2? Ew, dull. Two hours with sharp pain sounds awful. Do you know the words to the national anthem of your country? Yeah. Would you rather be a Model, Famous Scientist, Singer or Chef? Scientist, probably. I'd love to be a biologist anyway, and that's a type of scientist. Would you rather be a pilot, crime scene investigator or estate agent? Ohhh, crime scene investigator. Does making others happy really make you feel happy? Yes! Did you ever swear at a teacher in school? Why? No. Have you ever pricked your finger on Holly or another ‘sharp’ plant? Yeah. Have you ever written your own short story? Yes. What about a novel? Or perhaps you started and couldn’t finish? "I started writing several novels, but abandoned them all." <<<< Same yo. Either of the above, if this was the case, place short synopsis here: The first one was about a very close meerkat family, divided into elemental "breeds," and the prince falling in love with another of his kind. His father had a stray brother who constantly aimed to destroy the family, but he was converted towards the end. That's all I can really remember about that one. There were others like two species of animals I made also falling in love, despite being predators and prey of each other, and fulfilling some sorta prophecy with their offspring. The other two I recall- yo fuck it I keep remember more and more okay I wrote a LOT. Do you prefer SciFi/Fantasy/Action/Horror or Rom/Com/RealLife? I'm guessing you mean in books, given the last three questions? I have a strong preference for fantasy. What do you have a lot of faith in [note: can be anything]? Hell if I know. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids or a high flying job? High flying job, easily. I don't want kids, nor do I need a large house, especially considering I hate cleaning even this tiny one. Have you ever been to a creepy/haunted/abandoned place? Yeah. What did it look like and what were the circumstances? It was this really old, mostly dilapidated shack full of cool stuff. It was by the field near our old house. Me, my sister, and our friend hung out there and explored all the time until this freaky woman showed out and told us we shouldn't be there. Do you know a Jack? What’s he like? Yeah. I don't him that well though, so idk. How about a Lisa? What’s she like? Yeah, she's one of my WoW friends that I've become really close with. She is an absolute sweetheart, but talks about herself way, way too excessively to the point it's hard to have a conversation sometimes. I know she doesn't realize it, though. When you have children, would you like twins? I say enough that I don't even want kids, SO FUCK NO. Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? Yes. Tyler and Taylor. I know others, but idr their names. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? We're stubborn as all fuck hell. Do you have any nicknames that aren’t derived from your actual name? Yeah, some online ones and then my mom has called me "Twinkie" since I was a baby. Do you have any allergies? Yeah, of pollen and silver. What is the longest your hair has ever been? To or maybe even past the small of my back. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my jam. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it? I really don't kn- oh yes I do. I have these oooold old thin and sewn-back-up-fifty-times Batman pj pants from when Jason and I were together, so maybe like... seven years? Thanks PTSD, I'm attached to them because Batman was his thing. How often do you eat out at a fancy restaurant? Just about never. Nutella or peanut butter? UGGGGGHHHHH I've been on a nutella thing lately. Have you ever hosted a wild party? Definitely not. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it? Wings of Fire: The Lost Heir by Tui Sutherland. Yes, it was very good. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang with? Besides my immediate family, like... none anymore. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays? This is hard to gauge. I've never seriously done it myself, and I don't really have the motivation to do it just to take it all down a month or so later. I love it in concept, but yeah. Favorite animated Disney character? Probably Kiara from TLK2. Have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself? Ha, no. Favorite winter activity? TAKING PICTURES IN THE SNOOOOOOOOW. Do you consider rapping singing? I mean I guess? Does your home have a fireplace? No. Do you listen to any religious music? No. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite? Ugh... soda is my weakness. I'd probably lose weight easier if I just stopped drinking it. Mountain Dew Voltage is my favorite, and I've also been on a serious strawberry Sunkist thing lately. How easily do you cry? I cry very, very easily. Can you handle spicy foods? What is your spice limit? Oh yeah. The only way I know how to gauge this one is that I enjoy the "hot" sauce at BWW lol. I've actually kinda cut back on HOW much I enjoy it, though; like I'm more into enjoying my food thoroughly lately than the adrenaline of spicy food. What day of the week is laundry day for you? I personally don't do the laundry because Mom prefers to just do ours together, so. It varies, I think. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? If so, what are they of? Not on mine, but the one I currently have to use has tooons. I don't feel like looking at the lid trying to list what they are tho. How often do you say "y'all?" It's pretty much in my normal vernacular due to where I live. Do you believe in evolution? Yes. I have questions and curiosities about it, but when you consider how truly short it has been since considerable natural selection has been observed, why couldn't it exist on a bigger scale? Do you live in an apartment or a house? I live in a house. How long have you been at your current job? I'm unemployed. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship? Yes. Phrase you say the most? Probably "oof" lmao. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it? Yes and yes. Have you ever given anyone CPR? No. Have you ever learned to do anything from a how-to video on YouTube? Yes, mainly just editing stuff. Have you ever auditioned for a reality competition show? No. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show? No. I've been at hockey games with Dad, but I don't consider those "TV shows." Have you ever given money to a street performer? I've never even seen one. Do you own any homemade clothing? Not that I know of. Have you ever bought anything from a flea market? Yeah, decorations 'n trinkets and stuff. I love flea markets. Have you ever quit a job? Yes. Are your birth parents together? No. Do you or have you ever worn glasses? I've worn glasses for years now. Have you ever been broken up with? AKA died in spirit? :^) Have you ever been the victim of a nasty prank? Not to my recolleciton. Favorite fandom? Y'all been known, the Markiplier fandom is a goddamn family. Can you surf? No. What motivates you to do well in life? The knowledge that I've most likely only got one life to make something of. How lucky do you consider yourself? I mean, ALL things considered, I'd say I'm at just below the baseline, maybe? I mean I could be homeless or dying of malaria or something. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? No. Favorite summer activity? Swimming! Have you ever lived on a farm? No. I wanted to for years as a little kid, though. How often do you get mad at yourself? I've lately been in an almost constant state of anger regarding myself, honestly. Have you ever gotten any stitches? Yes. Favorite YouTube channel? The Marker Plier guy. Do you have a pool at your house? No. Last thing that made you laugh? Something on Game Grumps. Earbud or earmuff headphones? Earbuds. Earmuffs hurt my head and ears. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman? Yes. Have you ever gotten a New Year’s kiss exactly at midnight? I don't think so. Have you ever voted for a reality competition show? The only time I did that I remember is when Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. won America's Got Talent. I adored him and voted like mad. Does anyone in your family currently serve in your country’s military? Ummm maybe distantly? I don't know anyone off the top of my head. Are you comfortable with watching rated R movies? Well yeah.

#survey #surveys #questions

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fishphibian · 7 years

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Horohoro, Faust, Chocolove, Mic, Silva, Peyote

It’s long so read more for more! (read more for all of it)

HoroHoro: What's your favorite season?Spring. I more or less consider it to be the real “new year” because it’s when things come back to life or are born. It’s also the season of the Anime North convention which is my favourite event of the year and probably the yearly event I look forward to the most.

Faust: Do you sleep a lot?Every day. Not as much as I would like to I suppose. It can be very difficult for me to sleep in most days, and I tend to stay up too late. I also have a very antagonistic relationship with naps. I can pretty much only nap when sick or when I am extremely sad; and I usually regret it as I wake up feeling awful half the time. I might have half a dozen good naps my entire life at most. Interestingly though, I am unable to perform “all nighters” on purpose. I have stayed completely awake for 24+ hours only once during the pre-Japan break-in crisis of 2013

Chocolove: Tell us your favorite joke.My favourite joke is more of a standup bit, search “The Salt and Pepper Diner.” It’s something that never fails to make me laugh. I am also a huge fan of the “lighthouse joke” but it’s very Canadian. In the interest of telling a joke instead of saying “look it up” I’ll post it here:This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!US Ship: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Mic: What's your favorite animal?For simplicity's sake, frog. But for complication’s sake, it’s any one of: frog, axolotl, cuttlefish, common crow, hummingbird, bat, heron, damselfly, mantis, land crab, kestrel, playupus, armadillo... and so on in more or less that order into infinity. And that’s just extant animals. I really like velociraptor (like, the real turkey sized one) and dimorphodon.

Silva: Give 3 unpopular opinions of yours.I pretty much universally prefer dubbed anime and video games. It might be partly because of enjoying eating while watching things, but since I value immersion the eye movement of reading and watching is annoying. I still watch many series in Japanese, and can recognize a bad English dub, but the strict and aggressive passion of people who swear by never touching English dubs and outright hating them kinda baffles me. On that note, since this is a Shaman King question thing:The English Shaman King dub is actually pretty amazing. Like, the casting and what the writers were able to get away with considering they were making a 4Kids series at the time is amazing. I prefer almost all the English voices with maybe the exception of Faust and Ren. Faust mostly due to inconsistency, and for Ren I think they’re about even and if it wasn’t for the accent (which had the same negative effect for Ryu) I think I wouldn’t question I liked the English voice better. Yoh/Hao and Chocolove, are in my opinion vastly more appropriate casting compared to the Japanese casting. The only characters I would recast would be a few minor characters and *maybe* Anna; or I would at least direct Anna a bit differently. I don’t consider most of the Marvel Universe (mostly comics) characters to be superheroes. Basically Spider-man, Kamala Khan, and like a half a dozen assorted others like Daredevil and Captain America at various times. I have criteria for what makes a superhero. It involves saving innocent/unrelated people directly and sort of knowing/self identifying as a superhero. The X-men just deal with their own problems. Thor is a god. Hulk is thrown at stuff half the time. Stop dealing with personal stuff and stop a death ray or save a bus full of kids. Honestly Deadpool is an actual superhero more often than the actual X-men. I only found out this is unpopular recently due to online dating; but I hate downtown cores of big cities and I love the suburbs. Living 30 minutes outside of downtown is amazing and I would settle down 1-2 hours away and wouldn’t mind. I get annoyed by the city really fast. Toronto is greener than most, but I actually get angry when I can’t see the sky and it’s just oppressively tall buildings. Malls are amazing, you don’t really get classic malls in big cities. The best Escape Rooms are in suburbs... you can drive to nature really easily, there are IKEAs sometimes and theme parks and amazing things with SKY and TREES. Some bigger cities have designs I can get behind: Singapore, Fukuoka, Miami... but people sometimes tell me I should go to New York City and I really have no desire to. I would visit the Nintendo store and if it’s still there the Muppet Building store and then desperately want to leave in all likelihood. I could live in a not-downtown core part of a big city (and I guess I technically do now...), but only because it has access to suburbs. They may be “bad” (thanks, Adam Ruins Everything...) but I love suburbs and small cities/towns.

Peyote: How many languages do you speak?I speak only English fluently. I can understand about 60% of Spanish if someone pretends I’m under 8 years old and speaks at an unnaturally slow rate (for Spanish speakers) and I can read it slightly better than that. Knowing latin names for some animals actually helped my vocabulary acquisition a fair bit. When I first started learning Spanish I would replace use French words sometimes but now my grade 4-9 French knowledge is pretty much completely erased. I have extremely basic Japanese mostly obtained by living there for a year. Seven years of subbed anime maybe gave me a half dozen words of Japanese, a month of Rosetta Stone maybe a dozen more, but really wanting to order more than one piece of fried chicken at the convenience store and wanting to see a concert gave me rudimentary conversation and general language skills I was able to use. I probably underestimate my Spanish a fair bit to be honest... I feel like if I moved back to Costa Rica or even Miami or something and really wanted to date or make non-expat friends I would probably be conversational in like five months.

#eternaldragons

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iriscasefiles · 8 years

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The Strange Case of Starship Iris: AUDITIONS pt 2: INFO & ROLES

All actors must be at least 18, as per Procyon Podcast Network guidelines. Beyond that, you are not required to be the exact same age as the characters, as long as you can credibly sound like you are.

You are more than welcome to record a couple of different takes, with different interpretations! You are more than welcome to try out for multiple roles!

Send an mp3 file of your audition(s?) to iriscasefiles at gmail.com, along with the following:

1. Your name (a pseudonym or online handle is fine) ETA: and the role(s?) you are trying out for

2. Are you potentially okay with being cast in a role besides the one you auditioned for?

3. Are you potentially okay with being cast as a morally ambiguous person, and/or villain?

Auditions go from January 23 to February 2. Callbacks are February 3 through 6. My goal is to have all the roles listed here cast by the end of February 6.

There will be another round of auditions for a few more roles in April.

For now, available roles are below!

MAIN CAST

Brian Jeeter

He/him pronouns. A trans man (seeking trans actors only, please!)

Note, because this is something I’ve been asked: I don’t have set headcanons about where Brian is with regards to transitioning; if you wanna try out and you’re not on testosterone, you should still totally try out!

Any race

Sounds to be in his mid-twenties to early thirties

A laidback, friendly affect, to the point of maybe coming off like a slacker. You’d probably need to talk to him a few times to realize that he is deeply loyal, and intensely passionate when it comes to his areas of expertise (xenolinguistics, making pizza bagels).

To audition, perform this section:

(Laughs) I dunno, though. Wasn’t all bad. I made some cool friends. That’s how I met Krejjh, actually. I’d been doing fieldwork out in Neuzo, and— (realizes the word and the place are both going to require explaining) Sorry, the Neutral Zone. It was a cluster of planets and stations, kinda out by Telemachus, founded by this very weird Libertarian billionaire. Technically outside any government, so it was one of the few places humans and Dwarnians could trade, talk, whatever.

Shady place. We’re talking arms dealing, gambling, drugs you’ve never heard of. Like, name a vice, you know? Crawling with spies, too. People used to say that’s why both sides kept it standing; they had, like, intelligence assets or something.

But it wasn’t violent. Not like you’d think. Not at first. There were these rival mafias, and they kept the peace? Kinda. I mean, everyone’s fortune was built on keeping Neuzo out of the war, keeping the war out of Neuzo, so there weren’t, like, laws, but nobody was allowed to kill anyone. At first.

Sana Tripathi

I wrote the character with she/her pronouns but I’m flexible on this if a nonbinary and/or genderqueer person wants to audition

Any actor trying out for this role should be of Indian ancestry (Indian-American or Indian-British, etc, is totally fine) ETA: Changing this more generally to “should be of South Asian ancestry.” (ETA2: Elsewhere in a different post, I mistakenly said “Southeast Asian” but I meant more generally South Asian: India, Nepal, Pakistan, etc. The moral of this story is I need to actually look at a map before I type words. I’m so sorry.)

Sounds to be mid-thirties

Warm, decisive, and extremely competent. Comfortable being in charge, but prefers to work via consensus when possible, if only for ideological reasons. A certain daredevil streak surfaces every now and then. The sweetest person you’ll ever meet, until push comes to shove and you see the core of steel that’s been there all along.

To audition, please perform this section:

You’re right, Brian, I’m not your mom. I’m your captain, and I’m your crewmate. And that means I am depending on you to take care of yourself so you can do your part to keep us safe.

(Weighty) Look, you know how tenuous it can get in the deep. You know how much more life is worth out here. That includes yours. We need a translator, Brian. We need a translator and we need a guy who has our back. We do not need a martyr. (A beat, and then, lighter) Also, I’m the boss, and you have to do what I say.

Krejjh

Seeking a genderqueer and/or nonbinary actor of any race

Note: the character is part of an extremely humanoid race of space aliens whose culture finds the whole notion of a gender binary confusing and goofy. Obviously, this is not a perfect analogue to being a nonbinary human; I mean, we are talking about a purple space alien. But the character definitely doesn’t identify as cisgender, and after a lot of discussion and soul-searching, this seemed like the most respectful option.

Sounds to be mid-twenties to early thirties

Concept: Dashing, silly, and generally in love with life. Fun at parties. Has more than a little classic fighter pilot swagger. A sucker for compliments. Adrenaline junkie.

Note: in a later episode, you are gonna have to speak in a made-up alien language, but I’ll try to write it out phonetically. No big deal.

To audition, please perform this section:

(making an announcement over the ship’s PA system) Folks, I wanna apologize for the turbulence. We are currently flying at—downright unsafe speeds through a debris field that is—taking some damn impressive stunts on my end. Gonna advise that you all make your way to the nearest secure spot and—WOO!!! Yeah! (triumphant laughter)

If conditions persist, you might wanna take a sec and pray. Deity of your choice; I figure, cover as much ground as we can. And if conditions get much worse, I’m gonna need Crewman Jeeter up here, pronto, for a little good luck kiss. Can’t hurt, right?

In the meantime, I advise you to remember that the closer we are to danger, the more clearly we can hear the elemental thrum of our own vitality! In this moment we are living!

…Kids, you are gonna want to hold onto something.

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

Alvy

He/him pronouns

Any race

Sounds to be mid-twenties to early thirties

A chill and fun dude.

To audition for this part, please perform the following section:

Jeeter, my man, my pal! What is up? No doubt this message will be unexpected. Get in line! Surprise assignment. A short vacation from the lab. Safe to say I’m living large. Of course, the mission’s secret but: exotic locales? Limited work? Seems almost designed for me.

Eejjhgreb

Seeking a genderqueer and/or nonbinary actor of any race

Ideally, sounds to be about forty or older. I am willing to be a little flexible on this point, though.

Concept: A diplomat. Stately, commanding, traditional. Not unfeeling, but emotionally repressed like it’s a period piece.

To audition for this part, please perform the following section (that is not in the podcast because most of Eejjhgreb’s actual lines contain spoilers)

There’s not much more to be done about it. The agreements were reached, the papers were signed. Do I wish it had gone differently? Perhaps, but it’s a matter of obligation. It’s a matter of loyalty. I know you don’t think so right now, but it is possible you’ll understand someday. Assuming you don’t get yourself killed in the meantime.

Campbell

Any actor trying out for this role should be of African ancestry (African American, African British, etc, is totally fine)

I wrote this character with he/him pronouns but I’m flexible on this if a nonbinary and/or genderqueer person wants to audition

Sounds to be between late twenties and mid thirties

Concept: A brilliantly talented forger and counterfeiter. Easygoing, charming—that rare person who seems to be friends with everyone. Definitely friends with the crew. Good in a crisis. Hard to really shock.

To audition for this part, please perform the following section:

Tell you what, send me your info. I’ll work on it remotely and pass it over to my contact in Elion for printing and pickup. How many IDs do you need? Four? We can have them done in two hours.

Yeah, I know that’s probably longer than you want to wait, but uh. It’s getting scary out there. You don’t wanna cut corners on this.

Don’t worry about payment, we’ll handle it later. I’m guessing you’re too nervous right now to really try that hard at haggling anyway, takes all the fun out of it. Sending you my guy’s coordinates for when you land. Ask for Red Gregor.

Guard

Any race

Any gender

Any European, Australian, or distinctly regional American accent

Just trying to do their job out in space, far from home

To audition for this part, please perform the following section:

Attention! We’re conducting a sweep of all interstellar vessels. I’m going to need you to comply with the following instructions. (Pause) Attention, attention! Rumor, do you copy?

Ricky

I wrote this character with he/him pronouns but I’m flexible on that if a genderqueer and/or nonbinary person wants to audition

Any race

Sounds to be late twenties to mid-thirties

Persuasive, self-centered, one of those people who considers themselves to be extremely rational and reasonable.

To audition for this part, please perform the following section:

Listen, that’s the nature of the beast. You don’t always win. It’s not my fault if you drew a weaker hand. You’ve got the option of not blaming me for it, you know? Take it or not, but you’ve got that option.

Junior Agent

Seeking a genderqueer and/or nonbinary actor

Any race

Sounds to be early twenties

Unlike Agent Park, hasn’t yet reached burnout in the job. Might get there pretty soon, though.

To audition for this part, please perform the following section:

I’ve taken the liberty of trimming about an hour of audio from this portion of the transmission, all available in the archive in the, uh, in the honestly pretty unlikely event it is needed? Resuming in the cockpit, forty-four minutes after the Rumor touched down on Elion. On-ship time estimated to be seventeen hundred hours.

#tscosi

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