#kiss me like you mean it au

[kinaiya-l]

Another RegiNarda fan art done.

KenTangi version from the socmed au Kiss Me Like You Mean It by Alecs

[swingsetindecember]

scott and logan as a pairing is just chef's kiss because you have the team loner who is a soft dad and then you have the team leader who has to be strict dad because he needs to keep everyone safe. like they both care so much in such diametric ways that makes me feral. like scott is so self sacrificing that he needs logan to save him because he will literally martyr himself for the team. and logan will also just martyr himself but will be like, because the team doesn't need me. and ahhhh they need to make out and take care of each other. and i am not even talking about how logan steals scott's motorcycle and things. like he will be like scott is a nerd but also love all of scott's nerdy stuff. god, i love them. like i just want soft scenes with them. scott needs someone who won't die and logan needs someone who won't leave. and ahhh, let me scream about them

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Spider And Her Demons

YA Australian urban fantasy/horror

about a Malaysian-Chinese girl who’s half spider-demon, just trying to keep her head down and survive high school

when she accidentally kills and eats a man in front of the most popular girl at school, they strike up a strange friendship and she starts to learn more about herself and the supernatural world

aroacespec/sapphic ish

[cloud-somersault]

idk man, the epilogue is like this really deep...exploration of interpersonal connections and wants and desires interlaced with the complexity of circumstance and consequence and regret and guilt. and I started it as a like "haha, this is what I want! I want two monkeys being gay, haha!"

but it's so. fucking tragic, actually.

just in chapter 1, we see how defeated Macaque is, how lost he is. how he hesitates and flip flops constantly. how he says or thinks something with certainty, but then goes back on that. he tries so hard to commit to one path, but he truly is fluctuating and has no clue what to do

and wukong is just...certain of himself. he's certain of his wants and desires now after Constellations. He wants to maintain connections and put in the effort no matter what. and that..juxtaposition of them...is just so raw and hurtful in chapter 1 because we see that wukong notices that in Macaque because he knows him better than anyone.

And Macaque admits he's a little lost. he doesn't know what he wants. but he keeps walking. he wants to make his own choices. he wants to think for himself. he wants to see the truth for himself.

and as the days go by, as the weeks and months pass...as they grow and change, it's just sad. because it's not

the epilogue is not this "will they? won't they?" shadowpeach thing.

look at them as individuals. that's why i finally decided to change the perspective. because we needed to see macaque's thoughts. I've shown you wukong's; please give macaque that same level of attention.

when people write romance or relationships, they often misstep when it comes to the characters that are in the relationship. in order for that relationship to be believable and relatable and enjoyed by the audience, you have to develop the characters independently and together.

we cannot have shadowpeach until we know, with certainty, who macaque and wukong are.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok & Neelix are both cringe but only Neelix is free

[causticsunshine]

hate to remind y’all of this but louis really is just A Man™️

as are any other male celebrities you like. just mf dudes.

[boxwinebaddie]

Wait so did Ike knoww about Stan and Kyle dating? Also I'd love to hear abt Kyle and Ikes sibling relationship thats so adorable

soooooo long story short:

...y-yes. yes, he Does know.

hOWEVER, IKE DOES NOT KNOW RAVEN IS STAN THOUGH, THAT IS SENSITIVE INFO THAT IKE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH, OFC, BUT IT WOULD PUT HIM IN DANGER AND KY WANTS TO KEEP HIM SAFE.

but long story Long...

i'll leave it in the crotch. xx

( edit: so...my bad, baby. i accidentally went on a crazy TANGENT about ike and jerseykyle's relationship bc i love them a lot and their dynamic is very complicated, so if you want that info about how ike found out about ravesey dating...i gotta put it in another ask.

bc this...got Very long.

you don't have to read this. soz. >.> )

oookay!~ so i got REALLY excited about this because rm!jerseykyle and ike's relationship is super duper special to me, in that, as sp fanfic writer girlie who tends to lean away from a more gentle, kindly, introspective kyle and much more heavily into the potential brutal parts and menacing aspects of kyle's personality when i develop my style dynamics with, ofc, jers being the most brutal of all ncu kyles...

...the way that he speaks to ike -- gently, softly, tenderly -- the way that ike disarms him, the way that j.k. unravels around ike, bends for him, it's one of the ONLY instances written into my actual published canon where we see jers be extremely vulnerable. ( not crying, lmao! )

however, i will say, it was not ALWAYS like that!

*rings the cd re-education bell*

LORE TIME!

so, per my rm!take on the south park lore, ike, ofc, was adopted from canada around age five and he...was Perfect. he was this lil gorgeous, perf, lovely thing, no health problems, dark hair, i like to think his eyes are dark brown, closer to black, sweet kid, easy-going...

...and very NOT like kyle.

and, interestingly enough, i think, At First, that sheila and gerald were super obsessed with ike, cooed over him, he was the baby, y'know? which made jerseykyle MAD jealous of ikey and an Anti from day one.

which is also v interesting because rm!ike, really just fkn Worshipped jerseykyle, wanted to be close to him, wanted his approval, craved that brotherly relationship with him, idolized him...and kyle was NOT having it, dawg! like, it took him so long to even let stan in and let his cold, black heart be light and bright enough in some spots to do That, so he pushed ike away, constantly told him to fuck off/get lost

( i do think that ike's vocab being more vulgar/him being precocious comes from wanting to impress kyle/being influenced by him ), also ike was really fkn smart from the jump in a way kyle wasn't like, to me, jerseykyle has worked hard for everything, studied hard, fought hard, and ike was naturally a child prodigy and didn't have to work that hard for anything, all while being gentle and docile and kind.

-- but going back to STAN for a minute...as a direct contrast to how jerseykyle treated ike growing up...gods angel saint ravenstan was always EXTREMELY KIND to ike. stan never had a brother: okay, he had shelley but his relationship with shelley was even more complex than ike and kyle's relationship used to be and the way shelley treated ravenstan was similar to the way jersey was treating ike, so he Deeply Sympathized with that and endeared himself to ike, encouraged him, and the more kyle pushed him away, the closer ike got to stan.

stan and ike i think ALSO had very similar interests in that they both liked louder, heavier music, revolutionary/counter culture stuff, fighting the MAN, sports ( namely hockey ) i think as a gift, actually, that ravenstan gave ike his wayne gretsky hockey yersey and ike STILL has it ( yes, kyle was jealous ), stan encouraged him to be different and carve his own path in life and while kyle, obvi, was the person most effected by stan's untimely passing...it did also do a number on ike who seriously considered stan like a brother to him and was one of the only other people who Never misgendered stan.

SPEAKING OF STAN DY*NG THOUGH: this was when everything sort of...Flipped. because when stan 'died', whatever part of kyle that could love things also died with him along with a lot of his stability.

so on top of all of his health issues, kyle got really, REALLY gnarly ptsd, would fly into blind rages, got randomly triggered by things and see stan everywhere, have really, really sever panic attacks, had to be put on several medications, got into TOOOONS of fights, etc.

and ike...was just sweet, introverted, lovely ike. stayed in his lane, did his work quietly, existed quietly...while kyle was Loud and VOLATILE.

also, to tie in Another ask where someone asked me while sheila didn't take care of ike as well as she could...fair warning, i am a liiiittle defensive abt this topic because it wasn't that she didn't want to take care of ike or meant to neglect him AT ALL, it's just...when you have a a child who has a lot going on mentally and physically, is more of a firestarter, is more aggressive or more outwardly mentally unstable...

...that tends to require more immediate attention ( especially since kyle was sooo unhinged that he was constantly in police stations, juvie, the psych ward ) and sheila's attention more helicopter parent-y in that she wanted to keep kyle safe, whereas geralds attention was more negative, felt kyle was a failure/embarrassment :/// </3 )

so ike, by COMPARISION to jersey, was VERY low maintenance, did not require to be constantly watched to make sure he didn't hurt himself or others, and so, unfortunately while sheila loved him very much ( gerald just wasn't very interested in him as the second kid other than that he not act up/argue w/ him ) he got swept under the rug because of how pliable and pleasant he was personality wise.

so sheila really does Adore ike, she just doesn't worry about him nearly as much and because of how glaring jersey's issues were, she also mistakenly assumes he's mostly fine where...i really do think ike has pretty gnarly depression, tbh. he is stan coded, i mean that. i will say that him acting out is starting to cause a stir in their house.

anyways...i am sorry this is such a MESS but jerseykyle was watched with laser focus and because of this, ike got off scott free most of the time and received almost no attention. like all his accomplishments went unnoticed or were pretty normalized because the standard he set v young being smart/capable, set the bar high. ilysm, ikey. </3

tldr; ike was The Good Child

and jersey was The Bad Child.

but, in being 'good', he got extremely overlooked by his parents.

thiiiiiiis...is where jerseykyle stepped in. so basically his entire life he was staunchly anti-ike, but he warmed up to ike a lot after stan died because they bonded over talking about him a lot/that grief, and also grew up under intense scary jewish matriarch sheila broflovski and the serious shit show that was having gerald as a father...who jersey actually regularly took shit from so ike wouldn't have to, i.g. when ike did something less than perfect or did misbehaved or fucked up, kyle always took the fall for it and was the messed up problem child, so that ike would essentially spared from gerald's mental abuse/wrath.

ike was also kind of the only person j.k. had in the world, so kyle looked after him because...again...ike is very stan coded, kyle is very protective of the lil gentle hearted people and he basically raised ike in the stead of his parents which forced him to be hard on him in a way that sheila and gerald were not hard on ike...which created a lot of dissonance when ike was becoming a teen and kyle was in hs.

so, essentially while when they were little kids, ike followed kyle around, wanted kyle to like him, thought kyle could do no wrong, as he got older and kyle started to nitpick him, actually care about him and start enforcing rules/curfews on him because no one else did, ike developed a rebellious streak and started to not like or listen to kyle because he was like, bro, whatever, you're so boring, it's one party, oh my god, just because you're boring doesn't mean i have to be!!!!

it's mostly just skin deep though, ike is only irritated because jerseykyle is mad overprotective, hard core and did not gentle parent him as an older brother at like, i shit you not fourteen, like i am so sorry but jerseykyle raised ike basically, and inspite of actin like a heartless monster...loves ike very, very much ( even if he can't say it ) and ike also loves kyle very much. jerseykyle is pretty much the only other person besides firkle, tricia, etc. ( i'll get into that in a diff ask ) that truly gave a shit about him and put weight behind his actions.

so jerseykyle is like ike's older brother/dad, rags on him about doing his homework and being an edgelord

( ike has been acting out a lot, one, because he's finally starting to come into his personality more, which, imo, my hc is that ike is p popular but mostly by accident sort of how stan was because he's pretty and very nice, ike is captain of the hockey team, his accent is cute, gets good grades ( he is slacking right now tho bc hes being edgy as hell ), is a lil skater boy gamer boy, IS V INTO TRUE CRIME, JOURNALISM AND ACTIVISM, creating positive change, exposing injustice, enjoys punk rock music, thinks emo boy stuff is neato,

IKE IS THEEEE DAWN SPAWN OF EVER AND I MEAN THAT, he is a raven of crimson dawn FAN BOY, he is obsessed; i mean that...and despite wanting to make waves in that way, like, he really is kind of an antisocial DORK but lots of girls like him, he gets invited to parties, firkle gets invited by proxy even though people think they are a crazy demonic satan worshiping freak of nature...but ike's super bestie, ofc...their relationship is also interesting...BUT YEAH! IKE! <333 )

also per rm canon, jers does miss ikes birthday every year bc going to south park triggers the fuck out of him which he feels very, very badly about, rags on him but is very pro ike doing what he wants to with reason of not acting like a goddamn FOOL and doing his laundry, his emo dirt bag phase is making kyle's eye twitch ooooof, him bleaching his hair and sticking a safety pin through his lip the second ravenstan walks through their front door while ravesey are secretly broken up and jk is extra mad at him; ITS A HOT MESS EXPRESS, Y'ALL!!!!

if you made it this far...i have to put the answer to the FIRST part of your question with all that dialogue in another ask so feel free to re-ask me that, but to reference it a little...ike is so team ravesey like it is actually painful, that is his ROMAN EMPIRE. firkle actually really does not like kyle bc they think he is lame as hell, help, and is anti-ravesey bc they think romance is a distraction,

( okay, spoiler, but firkle is in love with ike, ike does not know this, ike is super fkn oblivious and is actually very bi, so it's not like he's just not aware he is not straight, he just....actually has no idea, rip, he also has a crush on a girl in his class, it DOES make firkle want to actually dome themself to hear about it 25/8, stupid Feelings, smh, firkle b hating jersey and is lowkey a little jersey coded ) anyways they think kyle dating raven of crimson dawn is going to interfere with the band, their music, their sound and is a hater. like boooo! come on, FIRK! :/

BUT IKE IS A ROMANTIC!!! IKE IS THE JR. RAVESEY CAPTAIN!!!!

tldr; kyle and ike have a complicated relationship but love each other very much and ike does eventually learn about ravesey secret dating bc they are the brothers of ever and cannot hide shit from each other BUT I GOTTA PUT IT IN ANOTHER ASK, I AM SO SORRY, BABY, YOU GOTTA ASK ME AGAIN ABOUT THAT! but i hope this thrills you?

-uncle nina, ceo of insane hs isaac moisha broflovski lore

[axel-ambassador]

Confession Part 2 of 2

Here it is!!!!!

Thank you for your patience everyone, I hope the colored image makes up for the extra wait 😄

Part 1

[softquietsteadylove]

Thena thanks Gil for bringing back Olympia. Kiss on the cheek?

"He's in there."

"Thank you."

Gil straightened up as the door opened an, instead of the club doctor Ajak walking in, it was Thena. She had sent him to get checked by Ajak after rescuing Olympia, of course, but he watched her take Olympia back to the stables herself. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you're faring," she said gently, in that pretty accent she had. She closed the door behind her, walking in, still in her boots and her white sweater dress. He could see where she had gotten mud on her from hugging Olympia and wiped it off after.

"Ah, I'll be okay," he smiled, hoping to downplay his current state. He naturally went to rub at the back of his neck, but flinched his hand away before he could upset the burns on his palms. "Nothing to worry about."

Thena visibly chose not to believe him, seating herself on the stool across from the examination bench. "Gil, really--how are you?"

He sighed. He was exhausted. He hadn't exactly prepared for a mountain hike at top speed this afternoon. And even once he had found Olympia, it was no easy feat, getting a horse back up through the woods to the club grounds.

And that was ignoring when Olympia had fallen and he had to all but pick her up, or when she had stumbled and crushed him into a tree with her rib cage, or when she had headbutted him any number of times in her panic. He'd had a rough day.

"I'm okay," he admitted, his shoulders sagging. Thena looked like he had completely lied to her but he raised his hands and shrugged, "really! I mean, it's nothing serious, is all."

"I didn't ask about the severity," she huffed, but didn't lecture him the way she had lectured Olympia about running off and causing trouble. She reached out, running her thumb over some scratches on his cheek from branches hitting him in the face.

He nearly leaned into it, her touch was so cool and so soft. But he restrained himself, trying not to seem like a pathetic fanboy or something. He cleared his throat, "is Olympia okay?"

Thena rolled her eyes as if he were asking about a child they babysat or co-parented. "Do not worry for that spoiled mare, she is safe and snuggled up in a blanket."

Gil chuckled, though. "I know how worried you were."

Thena's more stern facade melted, and the times he had seen this side of her were some of his favourites. She far preferred her horse's company to that of any person here at the club. And she cared for that horse like her own child. "She is uninjured, for the most part. And although she may lack confidence for the next few days, I believe her recovery will not be so hard a road."

Gil hunched even further, resting his elbows on his knees, "that's good."

Thena looked at him again, tilting her sandy blonde eyebrows. "It is thanks to you that she's home safe and sound."

"Hey," he shrugged, rising as she did the same. "I'd do it again--in a heartbeat!"

"I know, Gil."

He blinked, suddenly finding her hands on his. He blushed, but Thena turned his hands over, examining the balm that had been applied to the raw skin there. He hissed as she pressed.

She glared at him, "nothing severe?"

He gave her his most innocent shrug, "Ajak fixed me right up. So I'll have to wear gloves for the next few days. These things happen."

Her eyes flicked up at him, making her annoyance clear as she examined his palms, then the tiny cuts and scratches anywhere else she could see, even pulling his sleeves up just a little. "These things do not simply happen. They happen because someone is...careless."

It would be easy to think she was referring to him, but he caught the downturn of her lips and the little knot between her eyebrows. "Thena, there wasn't anything you could have done."

She tugged his sleeves down for him again, developing a hunch in her own usually immaculate posture. "I should have been out there watching her. I should have gone after her. You wouldn't have-"

"Thena, listen," he cut her off, happy to interrupt her this one and only time. "Look, I won't say it was easy to get her back. But are you capable of lifting half a horse's weight?"

She looked away, not that she really wanted to admit that she couldn't.

"If you had gone after Olympia I would have been out there trying to track both of you. Then it would just be the three of us stuck out there," he chuckled, imagining poor Thena trying to get Olympia's award winning haunches up a mudslide. "I'm glad you didn't have to."

"You do entirely too much for us." He wasn't sure if she meant 'us' as in the club as a whole, or just her and Olympia. And if she was referring to just herself and her mare, then she was entirely correct. It was almost enough for him to have to worry about favouritism. But not quite.

"I do my job, Thena," he corrected, still with a smile. She pursed her lips at him and he just this once admired how the pink colour of them caught the light. "The rest is just because Olympia is, like, my only friend here."

Thena paused for a minute before clearing her throat. He tilted his head but she swatted his hands away from her, "oh, your only friend?"

She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at him. She was unhappy to be excluded from that.

Gil blushed. "W-Well, I-I mean, I didn't, uh...wanna assume-"

Thena stood from the stool, swiping her lips over his cheek on her way up. "You are so adept at reading the horses, Gilgamesh. I suggest you brush up on your ability to read humans, as well."

Gil had to grin, although he successfully bit back a chuckle; that was rich coming from the Ice Queen. But he his cheek tingled and he felt like he had been given morphine, or maybe pure adrenaline. "I'll study up on that."

"Hm," Thena sufficed to say, collecting herself to leave as if she hadn't kissed his cheek like it was the most natural thing in the world for her.

"Leaving so soon?" Ajak asked, catching her on her way out.

"I came to see how he was doing," Thena used in her own defense, looking down at Ajak and then back at Gil. She kept her expression unreadable but he liked to believe he could see a hint of a smile on her lips. "And he seems fine, now."

He was much more than fine, maybe the best he'd felt in months.

[faebriel]

hgs brainrot has returned due to tbosas .. speaking of hgs here’s an ask abt the hgs au: if things were totally different, and Wilbur were to be a 12 victor, what do you think a possible mentor-tribute dynamic would look like between him & Niki? I feel like it would be similar to Snow & Lucy in the way that he’s just going out of his way to cheat n help her

anon u have in fact struck jackpot because this is a concept i was spinning some thoughts abt before bee mentioned avoxes and we went OOOOH at that!!! so yes i have considered rainduo as a mentor-tribute dynamic and would love to talk about that concept too :]

so for this concept i think wilbur and niki would be close friends throughout childhood from 12, and then in their teens wilbur is reaped and, well, no one has particularly high hopes (he's a writer and a musician at heart, not a fighter) but through sheer trickery and dumb luck, he makes it to the end of the games. wilbur pulled some pretty fucked up tricks to win - when you can't use brute force, you have to use your brain - and partly due to the trauma of the games, partly due to his shame and survivor's guilt, he sinks into the capitol and relishes a new life there as a socialite. to him, the old wilbur died in the games and the new one has taken his place - to niki, and to his other friends in 12, whatever the games did to him made him into every vapid heartless capitol victor there is.

or. niki has her doubts. they all saw how horrible the games were, but surely there is some part of him left, some part that's hurting, even if it's buried deep?

anyway.

like og spin of the au, niki is reaped and this sucks - this time she does expect wilbur as her mentor on the train, and she expects some kind of warm welcome (maybe even an apology for leaving them so suddenly and silently? an explanation?) but she gets jack shit. wilbur is jaded and cruel and unrecognisable and niki entirely hates it. this is the part where i REALLY WISH we got some time of those two beefing with each other directly in canon (or at least interactions while niki was So Mad at him) but it's okay we fly blind. niki feels abandoned, lonely, thrown off of her kilter - she expected an ally in this place, but she doesn't recognise the person wilbur has become. she doesn't recognise his shallowness (...much), his ruthless advice for the arena, the way he doesn't seem to care for anything. she's scared and now she's lonely and it pisses her off - their mentorship is fraught. here are some thoughts from discord on that:

i tend to think of niki as a bit naïve before l'manberg or even doomsday - i think this is an au where this streak would come out real strong, and niki is stubborn that she can get through the games without losing herself. stubborn that she can stop things, that she can protect people. i don't think wilbur is cold enough (or, really, can bear to say aloud) to say that her odds in the arena are slim enough as it is, but he definitely tells her that she's making enemies and that her odds of survival dwindle with the more trouble she causes.

beyond that... hm. niki's trust in wilbur is almost unshakeable until nov 16, even when she outright says she doesn't recognise him anymore. i think she'd reluctantly listen re: don't burn down any buildings, but she would grow bolder each day she had to stay in the capitol. she gets more honest in front of the cameras. she makes more friends in training, and not the ones wilbur recommends. she throws barbs at him every time he makes one of those callous, cold-hearted comments about other tributes and rankings and odds. and besides, she's going in the arena this time, not him. she needs to practice her bravery.

it's like... she hasn't given up on him. she thinks the old wilbur is in there somewhere. (she is wrong. that is not how trauma works.) but she won't hold her tongue just because she

for extra angst points could definitely play up the whole 'feeling abandoned' angle between them as niki goes into the arena - probably due to how fraught their friendship gets leading up to the games. niki wants to focus on them and their friendship, wilbur has stringently cut off (almost) everything from 12 and refuses to let her in; he tells her to behave for the cameras, she tells him she never will. i think the last point in that screenshot would also make for a super tasty argument where niki feels wilbur has gone astray, that he's abandoned 12, and that he'll probably do nothing but sit on his ass and watch her die and he can't even bring himself to care about her anymore, can he? just more fodder for the arena. and honestly, i think wilbur would passively agree with most of that - he values niki's opinion, after all, even now, and if she says he's rapidly descending into a lost cause then she must be right. and it's niki, so she will be fine, and he goes to his bedroom that night and tries to pretend he is sleeping perfectly fine instead of feeling paralysed with fear.

okay now onto the games - YES HE SO WOULD. or at least i think he would go out of his way to help. as for cheating - he's a recent victor for 12 and i think he would value tommy (no doubt a link to him... i think they'd be in touch in this au also) too much to risk the punishment falling onto him as well. i get the vibes this is a games closer to 74th than 10th, so there are far fewer opportunities to cheat and the consequences of getting caught are higher. but schmoozing up sponsors? making stupid ass radio interviews or whatever to talk up niki's odds? sharing anecdotes from their childhood - some real, some entirely fabricated - across capitol airwaves to stoke their sympathy? 100%. with less to lose in this au, i think niki would be far less inclined to play nice for the cameras - i hope you starve, she spits at one of them, and wilbur appears on a talkshow two days later as she scrambles for survival in the arena to talk up how she always saved loaves from the bakery for the poorest mothers and children in 12. he borrows and begs and swindles to the point where it feels like cheating. but hey, this new wilbur is capitol-branded. he knows how to play the game.

if anything he probably sinks into the game a little too much. self-preservation is not his forte. probably wracks up a few heavy debts and favours to owe, but those are not priority until niki is out of the arena, alive. as long as she wins, and as long as the family he has isn't in danger, he will manage. wow it would suck if at some point those two goals became impossible to co-achieve. anyway

i kind of see niki's victory in the arena being similar to the one in the main au - if only because planning out an entire games is hard for meee >-< . she walks in bolder and braver for sure, and with a less strategic pick of allies, but they all get picked off and she spends a few weeks so terrified she can barely sleep and then she ruptures some fuel line and sets the arena alight with a fire that burns brighter and more ravenously than it should. but she wins, and she's airlifted out of a filthy, muddy creek she had resigned herself to die in, and wilbur barges his way through as many peacekeepers so that he can actually see her with her burnt skin and hair and unfocused eyes and trust that what was on the screens wasn't a fluke, and that they made it. and then it's just a matter of surviving the after.

i'm sure there are some other random quirks or tidbits i can think of re: this take on a c!rainduo hunger games au but these are my base thoughts!!

[kinaiya-l]

Fan art for my top 1 RegiNarda AU favorite.

🤫

[skitskatdacat63]

thank you for the historical au seb

this is for you

005 DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME!?!?!?! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!?!?!?!?(positive) I AM GOING TO CRY YOU ARE GONNA KILL ME WITH THIS 🥹 I'M GONNA SOBBBBB!!! I'M GONNA STARE AT THIS FOR 5 HOURS THANK YOU THANK YOU THANKNYOU!!!!

OH MY GODDDD!!!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕🥹🥹🥹🥹🤧🤧🥹🥺🥹🥹🤧🥹🥺🥹🫡🥹💕😭💕💕

HE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEE 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE THE WAY YOU DREW HIM!!!!!!!!! You drew him perfectly 🥺🥺 grumpy little boy king Sebby 🥺🥺 and his fluffy hair and huge clothes 🥺🥺 all curled up 🥺 Omg the robe!!!! Hehe im glad the little hearts I put didn't go unnoticed!!

[gravitywonagain]

okay okay, modern au crossover where the wens nominate single father and certified disaster bi wei wuxian for queer eye

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinking about Jack s5 time travel au again. eventually he’s going to break down, right? he can tell himself that sam & dean wouldn’t want him to jeopardize the future by changing the past, stand by and let lucifer carry on with his reluctant destruction while telling himself that this is his job, to preserve the life sam & dean & cas will have, no matter how much he’s watching them and everything else get hurt in the present. and maybe for them, jack would misguidedly stick it out and make sure things go as they should because the life that they will have might hurt, but it’s theirs, right? it’s what they wanted, right?

but again. lucifer is also there. lucifer is the crux of the apocalypse, and he’s taken jack under his wing thinking he’s a rebel angel for lucifer’s cause, and he’s so different. lucifer and Jack having quiet conversations surrounded by natural beauty where lucifer is so filled with love for all of it, so furious with humanity for ruining the world, so angry and heartbroken that god wouldn’t listen to him. he’s telling jack this while jack nods and listens and tries not to say anything that will give him away. lucifer’s grooming his wings for him absently, saying how much he missed taking care of one of his siblings while caged, and jack is trembling from the constant affection he’s being shown from his dad who doesn’t know he’s his dad. who has never been like this around him before. who he didn’t know could be like this.

i think that’s what would break jack and push his hand into trying to change the future. what wouldn’t he do, if he has the chance to save his father from himself?

[girlscience]

i hate that my brain is like this. i hate that it does this to me. i see so many people for whom their sexuality is a source of pride and community and finding their sexuality opens a whole new world to them and they become open and confident people who are more themselves than ever before. and that's amazing! i am so happy for those people!! but it has never been that for me and i despise myself for that.

[eorzeashan]

man I've been trying to latch onto the story beats for KOTET but mostly failing; and I think it's because Eight's whole deal with it only worked for KOTFE. would he beat Valkorion's ass for trying to hijack his and Jadus' bond? absolutely. would he be there for the Vaylin stuff? not... so much.

The way he sees it, he's repaying a life debt to Lana (since Koth pretty much opted out of it by taking the Gravestone as his reward) that is equal in worth to Arcann's death. Once that happens, he's out. And he hasn't enjoyed this whole stint one bit either; in fact, I can say he's even more miserable than he was under the Castellan Restraints. At least there he was thrilled by it and motivated by his own purposes. Here, he feels trapped. Alone.

You could say he has a choice to walk away, but at this point he's too mired in the war and it's...well, he takes burdens. He has that code to always repay what he owes even if he hates it. Lana doesn't realize it either-- or she only noticed one time via that letter, but didn't do much about it because what she asks him to do is so tied to what she doesn't give a second thought about: it's necessary. She thinks he has a personal stake in this and projects her own frustrations at the state of the world onto him because she doesn't know. And perhaps, that means.... she doesn't know him, either.

Their relationship was basically the same before too, only this time it's tipped drastically in her favor because he no longer has that choice to disobey. He could've had worse masters, but Lana's pragmatism and way of pointing him at what needs to be done (killed) has been horrible thus far. Even Jadus/Acina were both more receptive and open to him and while Lana does in essence, care, she does not hesitate and doesn't question her motives or the one she's shouldering these tasks to.

It's mostly the BuyowareTM effect of mission-ordained bestie and the plot railing, but it also does feel like... she doesn't realize how satisfied she is when he's finally following her orders after a long, long time of him openly resisting and making no effort to respect her chain of command, which was like a subconscious reaction on his part each time he sassed her because he didn't want to be under her thumb. Then when he agrees and does what she asks, she's more than pleased, happy even.

Yet from Eight's pov, it does something to him each time where he sinks even further into being that unfeeling weapon who no longer wants to think.

Would she be mortified if she knew how miserable he was having her as a taskmaster? Most likely. She's just doing what she thinks is best for the people she knows and her galaxy-- but it's her unawareness of this, her extreme pragmatism and eagerness to use him to the best of her ability that shifts their power dynamic to something less benevolent. Even under the kindest of Sith who treats him as a friend, he suffers because of his nature as a weapon to be used by her and her iron-clad ideals.

It's also a detriment on his part where Eight makes no effort to sway other people or change them because he believes in witnessing their true selves without his interference, and when Lana admitted she only saved him so he could save them, she sealed her fate and his. In that way, he tends to enable the worst in others around him because he lets them go unchecked, convinced it's who they are at their core. It's made worse by Eight honoring his debt to Lana, as he can only follow what she wishes and not completely override her decisions as he did before in SoR.

You could also say Theron helped to balance that out but as he's taken a backseat this time, it's also become damaging to him to watch Eight lopsidedly defer to a much colder side that clashes with Theron's way of doing things. So much so he's started "other"-ing him and blaming it on heartless Imps. That's another reason why every time Eight gets separated from them, he briefly considers using the opportunity to run away, but of course, he never does. Using Dromund Kaas' assassination attempt as a cover for his death was so tempting, and how bad does it have to be if you want to fake your death to your friends of all things?

I feel like this is all going to reach an untenable point somewhere as it has to, I'm just unsure as to what form it'll take given the unpredictable nature of the current story to either provide me with all the story revelations or nothing at all.

The current idea i'm entertaining is that Theron puts the pieces together of Eight's downturn into extreme coldness and avoidance of them, an overhead discussion involving Koth once again arguing with Lana over her treatment of him (i.e. that one letter), and then the final subplot where he is given the extra mission during the Traitor Arc to not only destroy the Gravestone but take away their other weapon, Eight himself, by convincing him to leave the Alliance-- only that isn't a ploy from Theron because he catches onto just how bad this is for his former friend and ends up helping Eight "get out".

That's probably too messy of a story to write, but we'll see-- but also because the Traitor Arc would hit much differently if Lana simply sic'ed Eight on Theron like she did on Arcann and Senya and Vaylin to some essence. For one, he might end up dead. And nobody likes a dead Theron. Two, Eight really is the Alliance's other weapon, and much less of a personality as the game makes out the Commander/Outlander to be. Vinn Atrius might have noticed by then who that white-haired attack dog is who keeps entering the battlefield and killing their top contenders: another one of the Alliance's trump cards. He and the Gravestone have been synonymous in their effectiveness and use from the beginning, so it's only natural they'd want to take him out of the picture.

Lastly, I just really want these two to reconcile. It kind of broke my heart that Theron used to find common ground with him and now doesn't see him at all, and I also thought the idea of a little bit of truth being behind him being a traitor was spicy if... the Outlander was one who was more burdened by the Alliance than protected or saved by it. The idea of taking down everything you've built thus far because it's hurting the person who made it all possible... it's sweet, isn't it? It's the kind of thing the last spy with a heart would do. Maybe that's ooc. But I do like the idea of exploring just how far all of them are willing to use weapons who may even be their own friends just to get ahead in this damn galaxy, and course-correcting from that when you realize you'll never stop having another Arcann or Vaylin, with too many Senyas and Master Surros in between.

This has to end somewhere, but mostly I just want the Rishi trio to come to terms with the way they are now :'I.