#kwon soongyoung angst

[highvern]

Espresso

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: smut

warnings:  dom/sub dynamics (switches back and forth), public fondling/exhibitionism, dry humping, fingering, breath play, oral sex (all the kinds), swallowing, spitting, degradation (reader calls herself a slut, hoshi has a moral dilemma about it), spanking, vaginal sex, anal sex, unprotected sex, double penetration, sex toys (butt plug, dildo)

Length: ~8.3k

Note: a new chapter for my horangdan queen @horanghater hope you enjoy pookie. and thank you to @c-oupsie for beta reading!! now i must go repent for forty years.

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Talk [a, f, s], Casual [a, s, f], Mine [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

Sweat beads at the small of your back under the high sun, the churning waves of the sea echoing in the distance. Your boyfriend is somewhere down in the shallows. He could only sit still on his towel for so long before wandering off to find shells. Last time you looked up from your chair he was chasing minnows across the tide pools.

“Excuse me,” a gruff voice breaks through the wind. 

Your eyes land on a man about your age. Maybe older. His gaze prickles down your body, leering at the stretches of exposed skin. In Soonyoung words, you can wear whatever you want, he knows how to fight. You wish he was here now, not down by the water. Not with how creepy this dude is. 

“Can I help you?” you ask, eyeing him over your sunglasses.

“I was wondering if you’re from around here?” 

“Nope,” you dismiss.

“So you don’t know any good places to grab a drink later?” 

“Not at all.” 

“Listen, I was just—“ 

“Can I help you?” Soonyoung interrupts. He’s less than intimidating with the lines of a cheap snorkel etched into his cheeks and a bucket full of shells. But his cheery demeanor is replaced by protectiveness you’ve only witnessed on rare occasions. 

“Hi, baby,” you coo. 

“Hi,” Soonyoung greets, dropping a kiss to your forehead and staking claim the end of your chair for himself. “And you are?” 

“Leaving,” you supply for the stranger before examining the contents of the bucket. “Ooo, this one’s pretty.”

Soonyoung watches the other man stalk away, refusing to look back at you until he’s long shrunk in the distance.

“No, I don’t know who he was.” You answer the question you know he’s dying to ask. 

“I don’t care about him,” he lies. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” you assure. 

Soonyoung shows you all his goodies: plenty of shells, a sand dollar, some sea glass. The entire time his hand creeps up your thigh, the familiar feeling of skin on skin without the usual edge. He just likes touching you. Whenever you’re in arms reach he likes the comfort of making sure you’re real. An arm over your shoulder, his head in your lap, the one time you two argued and Soonyoung kept his foot touching yours because you insisted on sitting as far away from him as possible on the battered couch of your apartment.

“I think you’re getting a little crispy out there.” You trace the constellation of freckles dusting his shoulders from so much time in the sun, pink skin hot to the touch. “Hand me that sunscreen.”

You cover his upper body in a thick layer without much protest from Soonyoung. He happily continues presenting his haul, waiting for your oohs and ahhs before moving to the next piece as you tinkle your fingers across his collarbones.

“Can you help me too?”

He takes the tube without argument, covering his hands in white while you present your back. 

Soonyoung smooths the cream over your shoulders, down the length of your spine to the flair of your hips — methodically massaging into your skin and working any knots he encounters along the way. No one is around for a good fifty yards and the shade of the umbrella obscures how your ass arches into his palms. 

“Make sure you get it under my suit too, I heard you can burn through the fabric.” 

“Oh?” He chokes. His fingers dip under the hem of your bottoms. There isn’t much skin covered by the tiny red bikini. If you had it your way you’d be sunbathing naked with no one but your boyfriend to see. But public nudity isn’t welcomed on a beach no matter how deserted it appears. You’ll have to settle for doing so back at the house you two rented for the weekend.

Need screams through his touch, rough hands squeezing your ass, fingers spreading your cheeks apart not so subtly. He can’t see anything but his thumbs creep beneath the hem and that’s more than enough for a spiral. The inside of your thighs receive the same treatment, Soonyoung pushing and pulling suggestively while you hum content.

He straddles the back of your thighs. The thin strings of your top are no match for his dedication, pulling taunt as he reaches to work a fresh handful of sunscreen into your sides, fingertips ghosting the sides of your breasts. 

“Soonyoung,” you sigh. You arch your ass again, pleased to find the weight of his cock eagerly greeting you through his shorts.

“We can’t,” he gasps. 

You knew he’d say that. But no one is around. No one would see. If he pushed his shorts down and your bottoms to the side it wouldn’t look any different than what you’re doing now. You two could be quick and pretend it never happened except for the stickiness of his cum staining your bathing suit. 

But Soonyoung isn’t the exhibitionist. You are.

“Please,” you beg.

It won’t get you much but your boyfriend can’t resist the temptation when you’re pliant under his hands. Soonyoung pulls at your hips until your back meets the plastic of the chair. The pink of his chest has nothing to do with the sun over head and everything to do with the way your top has twisted around your breasts, barely covering what it’s meant to. Which isn’t much at all. Taut nipples peeking around the edge of the fabric teasing him to dip down and taste.

“Fuck.”

Under the guise of covering you in sunblock, he squirts some across your stomach. It resembles something far less appropriate for current circumstances, especially with how he kneels between your splayed legs, both of your chests heaving. The greasy glide of lotion carries his hands straight to your chest. Your top is pushed up and out of the way, fingertips cruelly teasing your breasts.

The umbrella is perfect cover, and even if it wasn’t the only other person you’d seen all afternoon deserved to see how shameless you are for Soonyoung. How eager he is for you. The way neither of you can think of anyone else outside this moment with the band of his swim trunks stretching under your wandering hands and his teeth bruised lips. 

Someone has to call chicken first. You won’t because you love the attention and your boyfriend won’t because he loves giving it to you. But you have to. Because Soonyoung would never live down the embarrassment of actually fucking you in the open if you were caught. You’d never stand a chance at talking him into doing it again, even if in a more secluded place where the chances of being seen really are zero. So you pull away first. Hands returning to your sides, propping yourself up to plant a kiss on his heart. 

“Go cool off,” you command. He pinches your nipples again for good measure; a rough tug you’d beg for in the privacy of his bed. But right now, you both need a breather. You swat his hands away, flopping back onto the chair and closing your eyes. “Go.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“I’m pretty sure if I stand up I’ll pass out.” 

“Well if you stay here someone is gonna catch us with your dick in my mouth so pick.” You run a hand back down his front to punctuate the threat.

The heat of his body disappears, Soonyoung up and sprinting towards the water without a second glance.

You right your swimsuit, not that there’s much modesty to be protected, and doze into a fitful nap. The ache in your gut lingers, mind plagued by images of your boyfriend, some real and some pure fantasy, fucking you on the beach chair. Waking you up with rough thrusts of his cock, a hand over your mouth the only thing to keep everyone from turning to watch. And even that’s not enough. You dream of a crowd, faceless people circled around where you two go at it. Soonyoung fucking you face down like you’re nothing more than a hole for him to dump his load into. Or you riding his cock until he cries from coming so many times but refusing to begin for mercy.

As the heat of the day crescendos so does the raging boil of want in your veins. It’s well past noon and the few people that were at the beach have long left by the time you open your eyes. Soonyoung is still in the water, floating through the waves. Each step down towards the sea foam threatens your resolve. You won’t fuck him. Not in the nasty ocean. Not on the public beach. But there’s still fun to be had. 

Broad tanned shoulders and a mop of pale hair are the only things you can see above water. Hopefully something waits below to greet you. 

“You’re gonna turn into a prune if you stay out here any longer,” you call while wading closer. The gentle laps of water cool against your blushing skin.

“Okay mom,” he jests. Soonyoung pulls you the last ways into his chest, bringing your legs around his waist and locking his arms around your own. 

“I think we should head back soon. Maybe take a shower before dinner?” 

“Maybe we can order in and hang out at the house,” he suggests, nosing along your jaw. His motivation is obvious; prodding against your thigh despite his attempt to seem subtle. 

Your hand snakes beneath his shorts. This time you don’t care how conspicuous you are. There really is no one to see. Not this time. The water hides everything and Soonyoung’s back is to the beach. 

“Maybe…” 

“Babe,” he warns. 

“Are you not feeling well, baby? Is that why you wanna stay at the house?” 

“No.” He rasps. His hips curl into your loose grip, fucking your hand like he’d fuck your cunt given the chance. With limited room you'll make the most of it, nipping at his earlobe while your other hand tugs his hair.

“Then what is it? Too tired?” 

“No.” 

“Tell me what you want,” you demand with a squeeze. 

“You.” 

You gasp in mockery, “me?” 

“Wanna fuck you. Wanna—shit—make you ride my cock.” He heaves through the request, images of you, head thrown back on that damn sun chair plaguing his brain.

“‘Make me’? You think you can make me do anything?”

 “I—” he chokes.

You rub him with a firm hand. If the water wasn’t a factor, he’d have dropped you on your ass by now. Soonyoung can barely keep himself upright when you tease him like this, let alone balance for two. Fingers sinking lower, you don’t stop until his balls sit heavy in your palm.

“I ride your cock because I want to. Because it makes me feel good. You like making me feel good don’t you?”

Soonyoung squeezes your ass, dragging your cunt over his crotch with enough force to bruise. “Yeah.”

“So let’s go home and I’ll let you make me feel really good.”

“Okay,” he grunts, another tug of your palm shooting bolts up his spine.

You let him go without argument, a wicked smile plastered on your face. The swim to shore takes much longer than it should. All due to your boyfriend’s wandering hands beneath the waves, tugging your suit loose and grabbing whatever comes in reach: thighs, ass, your hands. Soonyoung can’t stop pulling you back for more kisses, teeth cutting into your jaw when you indulge him too much. His mouth tastes like the ocean but his hands slipping beneath your bottoms to massage your ass are too distracting to care.

Only when you get to the shallows, water barely skimming your knees and providing no more cover, does he relent. 

But you don’t.

You turn around, pretending to invite him in for a hug with deceptive softness in your gaze.

“Hi,” you smile as he meets you halfway.

“Hi,” Soonyoung smiles back.

Gentle kisses lure him in, PG pecks across sunburned cheeks that’d make you sick to your stomach if it weren’t the kind of contact you’ve grown to enjoy. He’s sweet on you. Easily distracted by gooey eyes and bubbling giggles.

Which is why it’s too easy to push him back into the next wave.

The mop of drenched blonde hair pops up after a moment, gasping for breath as he stares up from the surf with disbelief. There’s no reason for him to be surprised. You did the exact same thing yesterday.

Laughter chokes your gasping breaths; eyes watering at the incredulous expression twisting his features. You’re too distracted by your own glee that when Soonyoung jumps in pursuit, you barely manage two steps before ending up flung over his shoulder for revenge.

“Put me down!” you scream. Your fists beat against his backside to no avail.

“Awww baby,” he pouts. The surf sloshes around his legs as he carries you deeper.  “but I wanted to swim with you.”

You swat at his ass. “Soonyoung I swear to god!”

“Can’t hear you!”

“Please!”

“What was that?” he calls.

“Don’t do this,” you beg. He fakes like he’s tossing you into the next wave but you cling tighter. “Asshole!”

“Ask me nicely.”

“Soonyoung, will you please put me down.”

“Fine, but only because you’re pretty.”

You slide down the front of his body, chests pressed flat and trembling from laughter. The rest of the way to shore is on jelly legs. Soonyoung follows, unperturbed by the tent in his bottoms now that the beach is clear. 

Damn that bikini. He thinks. And damn the three others you’ve donned this week that show more skin than the last. It’s almost worse than if you decided to prance around naked the entire weekend. The tease of what little skin no one else is supposed to see. Not even the sun. But he gets to. He gets to peel off the itty bitty pieces of fabric and look as much as he wants – touch as much as he wants. 

You’re a tease through and through; bending over to riffle through your bag, bottoms riding up. It does nothing to help his straining cock. If anything it makes it worse. Spine arched, ass perfectly positioned for him to reach over and make free. He’s got all the permission in the world but he still hesitates even though you’re begging him to do it. You look back over your shoulder, bending deeper after catching his gaze, hips wiggling suggestively back and forth.

He wants to. God, does Soonyoung want to pull the shameful excuse for bikini bottoms aside and take up the offer. Sink as deep as he can and fuck you until you’re shaking. But you’re loud and he’s louder and once you two start it’ll take a miracle to stop.

So when he stands behind you, cock heavy between your cheeks, he responds to your grind backwards with a harsh grip around the back of your neck.

You inhale sharply, surprised by the sudden show of force. “Soonyoung?” 

He steps closer, free hand pulling at the fabric covering your ass until his cock slips beneath. His own bottoms cover him but one less layer is better. “Behave.” 

Breath hitching, your eyes slip shut. “If I don’t?” 

He doesn’t have a leg to stand on. You can’t keep your hands to yourself any better than he can. Two pathetic needy messes perfectly matched. His hand slips around the front of your throat. There’s no heavy grip, just the weight, the promise of something. The potential resting in his fingertips. 

“You don’t wanna find out.” He’s bluffing. He must be. But if he’s not, if the threat is real, you’re in no position to argue. You packed lube and nothing else in terms of sexcapades. Nothing here to get off with besides your own hands if Soonyoung taps out. And he’s strong enough to pin you to the bed until you forfeit.

His chest scorches against your back, hand still cupping your throat. His other presses against your stomach, holding you in place for the thick grind of his cock.

“Oh,” you pant. The movement pulls your bottoms tighter, just enough friction against your core to make you crave more. You moan with forbidden pleasure of a public rendezvous out in the open.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung grunts.

Rather than give you more, he lets you go. Leaving gravity to do its damage as your knees buckle. You catch on the beach chair, narrowly avoiding a face full of sand. “What the fuck?”

“Sorry! Sorry, I’m sorry.” He joins you on the chair, rushing for a towel to cover his lap. 

That’s when you spot what freaked him out: a pair of old timers up by the dunes. No shot they saw anything given their animated arguing, the crashing waves barely managing to muffle their shouts.

“Seriously?” you scoff. 

“I’m not trying to get arrested!” he argues. 

Sometimes you wonder if he knows how lucky he is that he’s cute.

“Whatever, c’mon.”

The beach has private showers. Little huts to rinse off sand and salt in privacy. You drag Soonyoung into one. He’s still paranoid someone might see but willing to ignore the consequences in favor of whatever inevitable torture awaits. Besides, couples shower together all the time; in the name of saving space and water. But when the door locks and no one is left but you and him, the outside world fades into nothing.

Your suit comes off first. Wet thuds against the floor leaving you naked for his gawking until his trunks join. Cock standing proud, Soonyoung joins you under the spray.

You tease him the same way he teased you on the sand. Lingering touches, obvious gropes; slithering your palm across his crotch and spitting on the leaking head staring up at you. The shower rinses away the evidence of the day as you work up a new mess. 

“Oh god, yeah.” He’s limp under your ministrations.

“Feels good?” you goad. “All of this for me?”

“Uh huh.” His voice cracks. 

You mouth at his neck, cocky from the way his hips cant into your fist. Crowding him into the wall is too easy when using his satisfaction as a distraction. A nipple comes in view and your latch on. Teeth and tongue and spit get him to the edge and you’re on your knees to catch it just in time.

More blushing that has nothing to do with the sun blooms on his front as he hisses, “Shit.”

His cock pulses between your lips and you take it all like a pro; nose to crotch with a wet choke Soonyoung will certainly think about later. 

When he stops twitching long enough to drag you off, you surprise him with a mouthful of cum trickling back down his cock and a tight fist at the base.

“Ha—oh fuck, you can’t just—”

“Can’t what?” you ask before swallowing his dick again.

He grips the back of your head desperately, unsure if he wants to drag you off or force you down to take another load. It’s not fair. He’s only a man and the fact you’re pliant and eager from sucking his cock like you get off on it all the same might just kill him.

“Please,” Soonyoung begs. For what, who knows, but you drop to mouth at his balls, using his own perversion against him,  and he’s coming in weak trickles down your knuckles.

“Good?” you smile, licking between your fingers.

He’s an absolute dream leant against the wall, cock soiled and chest heaving. “One day my dick is gonna fall off.”

“Drama queen,” you snort. “C’mon, let's go home.”

Drying off in comfortable silence, Soonyoung refuses to let you go long enough for a thorough job. He’s always cuddly after sex. Or before sex. And just in general. A long day in the hot sun and two orgasms make him cling like a second skin in the steamy bathroom.

He only lets you go to shimmy on your clothes for the drive home. But his usual gawking lingers with an edge as you adjust the straps on your shoulders.

“What?” 

“Why are you wearing that?”

“Wearing what?” you ask, tone full of faux innocence. The white sundress had kept you from leaving the house this morning, Soonyoung planting you on the counter and ducking beneath the skirt just to press his face into the crotch of your bottoms like some pervert. Now, you wear nothing underneath, nipples showing through the sheer linen fabric.

“Babe…”

“Babe,” you mock.

“Let’s go home, you freak.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

The drive back is quiet. The roar of waves from the coast and a dull hum from the radio accompanying the comfortable silence. Soonyoung keeps his hand on your thigh, pushing your skirt high enough to tickle the skin of your knee beneath his fingers.

“Did you have fun today?”

“I always have fun with you,” you smile, leaning over to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Wait, pull over.”

“What? Why?”

“Because. Take this exit.”

He takes the next turn, following your vague directions with ease. There’s nothing more than a decrepit gas station as far as you can see but the billboard advertising the shop implied it’d be a little further down the road.

“Where am I going?” Soonyoung asks.

“Over there!”

You point at a lone store in a strip mall full of empty storefronts. Only one seems to bear any sign of life, a neon ‘OPEN’ that flickers rhythmically. Bad Kittyz.

Soonyoung pulls into an empty spot, mouth open in a mix of horror and shock “What the fuck?”

“You’ve never been to a sex store,” you say. You pull out all the stops, puppy dogs eyes and pouted lips. He won’t say no. But just in case.

“And now is the time you want to pop my cherry?”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun.” You hop out of his Jeep, beelining for the door with Soonyoung close behind. “Besides, maybe we’ll find something to play with later.”

The chime over the door announces your entrance. An older woman, verging on grandmother territory, leans against the counter. She nods a greeting and goes back to reading her book leaving you two to browse in silence. 

“Holy fuck,” Soonyoung chokes. A massive four foot tall dildo is displayed at the end of the table, thick as one of his thighs. “Do people use that?”

Face twisting in horror, you move towards more manageable displays. “Maybe as a discussion piece.”

“Discussing what? Being ripped in half?”

“Stop staring at it.”

“I can’t,” he whispers.

The longer Soonyoung stands there looking at it the more you’re tempted to stare with him. This isn’t an art museum for you two to gawk at. God forbid the employee sees and asks if you have any questions about it. 

Snagging his wrist, you pull Soonyoung away. “Let's look over here.”

A wall of toys, feathery wands, handcuffs, nipple clamps and more greet you in the backroom; a colorful array of options with a few catching your eye.

You snag a fluffy tiger patterned pair. “These look familiar.”

“Haha,” he says flatly but the burn tips of his ears give him away.

You take turns pointing out toys, some much too adventurous but others that pique your curiosity. An electric shock wand more than your monthly salary, a penis pump Soonyoung can’t seem to make direct eye contact with, cock rings made of glittery silicone, a butt plug that supposedly glows in the dark.

“‘2-In-1 Stroker Realistic Vagina & Ass’,” you read off the package of a fleshlight.

Soonyoung eyes it over your shoulder. “How do they make plastic feel like a vagina?”

“I don’t know. Wanna test and see if it’s like the real thing?” you jest.

“It seems like a waste of money since I can only vouch for one.”

“Well, what about this then?”

Snagging one of the less garish packages, you present the plain silicon plug. It’s not deathly intimidating, none of the fancy bells and whistles promising vibrating or a light show. Just an old fashioned, run of the mill, classic plug.

Soonyoung whips his head around like someone might hear you. As if it’s the most insane item in the store and the monstrous penis from before no longer exists. “Are you serious?”

You examine the package in your hands. Not too big, girthy enough your spark to take a challenge is fed but not so afraid it might rip you in half. You’ve always been curious about it. Played with yourself a few times but never with the same promise of satisfaction the idea of someone else doing it brings.

“Might be fun. I’ve thought about it,” you shrug.

“Really?”

Soonyoung’s gut tightens at the idea; flashes of you with your ass stuffed full, begging for more. Never in his life (except for a brief time in college when porn piqued his curiosity) did Soonyoung think he’d be into anal. It wasn’t his thing; for him or his partner. 

But you challenged everything he thought before. Submitting to whatever your latest fantasy was, allowing the needy side of his psyche to flourish under your gentle command. He loved it. Loved everything you wrangled him into. Fucking you in someone else bed? Incredible. Taking your fingers in his ass while you gag in his cock? Nothing short of mind shattering. The time you made him cum so much he started shooting blanks? It’s enough to keep him up all night with nothing but your pictures and an aching wrist. 

So fucking you on the beach chair had been an all too tempting edition to that list. But as much as he enjoys groping his girlfriend as the next guy, public indecency isn’t his kink. However, dumping his load in your ass is. Or it is now that you’ve brought it up. Just the suggestion of it is enough for his cock to twitch in interest.

In the car ride home, you both pretend to ignore the bag full of goodies at your feet; favoring watching the sun setting along the horizon, humming to the radio while Soonyoung tangles your fingers together over the center console. 

You barely get the front door of the beach house open before Soonyoung is on you, crowding you against the wall with his mouth at your throat. The hem of your skirt edges up your legs until his hand strokes between your thighs.

It's a tiny place; barely ten steps to the bedroom from the entryway. But neither of you can manage that when the promise of something so filthy lingers in the air.

He kisses you with promise before falling to his knees. You wish he’d stayed, let you grind across his thigh while you suck the air from between his lips but this is better. A familiar chill slips down your spine as he eases the white fabric up and disappears beneath to search for the taste of your cunt. 

There’s no sound beyond your quiet pants and your boyfriend’s moans. Devilish licks to your clit paired with nimble fingers make you twitch. Soonyoung likes it sloppy; adores pulling back just to admire the soaking mess coating your thighs before diving in. But all he has on his brain right now is returning the favor from before even if that means he’ll have to pin you to the wall so you don’t melt to the floor.

“Oh god, Soonyoung,” you sing, raising your hips and riding his fingers. “There.”

You want to pull his hair, to suck on his fingers like they’re his cock, to touch him; anywhere. Use anything you can to shatter the monopoly his mouth has on your senses. But he’s lost under your dress and you lack concentration to pull him out.

It doesn’t matter how much praise you lavish him with, Soonyoung is lost in his own spiral. The grip of your walls on his fingers, three now and soon to be a fourth because he’s predictable. Or maybe you are.

Your knees begin to buckle under the next harsh suck of his lips and without missing a beat your leg goes over his shoulder and you’re pinned to the wall.

“Soonyoung—fuck—please.” Your hands cup your breasts, pushing the smocked neckline down until the AC greets your burning skin. Insides clenching at the thrill, you sink lower until he catches the hint and fucks his fingers hard enough you hiccup with each thrust.

It feels like you're underwater. That spot that makes you glow becomes his plaything until the ceiling comes crashing down and you with it. You grit through the first shake before your vision blinks into darkness.  “Baby, I’m—”

Soonyoung fucks you through it, unaffected by how tight you squeeze around the digits battering your insides. He pushes you back into the wall when you wobble on shaky legs and keeps going; suffocating himself with no concern.

You ride his face for a moment. The prolonged burn of a good orgasm hurting in the right ways as your clit goes raw and your walls swell. But if this continues you’ll be too tired for the main event.

Even with that knowledge you don’t protest as he rises to his feet, turns you around, and flips your dress back up to fuck you against the wall.

With eyes closed you feel, rather than see, Soonyoung peak over your shoulder; breath hot against your ear. He flattens his chest to your back, cock nudging at your entrance until the first inch sinks home without resistance.

“God,” you sigh. “More.” 

He gives you just that. Careful to keep from crushing you under his weight, Soonyoung bends you at the waist, cock buried as deep as possible. “Like that?”

 “Love it,” you warble.

His thumb is warm against your rim, a tease of what's to come. It’s nothing challenging but Soonyoung pinning your arms at the dip of your spine with his free hand makes it dirtier. 

“Want me to fuck you here?”

“Please,” you beg. 

“Please?” 

“Give me your cock.” 

“You have it.” His voice roughens, betrayed by his own need to please you. “Still need more? That desperate?” 

“I swear to fucking god if you don’t—“ 

THWACK!  

Your skin scorches in the shape of his hand. All you can do is choke on more noises of pleasure as he does it again.

“You’ll what?” Soonyoung bites. “Gonna fuck yourself?”

You can’t argue back, mouth stuff with his fingers as he starts fucking you deeply. It’s good. The embarrassed heat tinting your cheeks from his reprimands. Soonyoung likes to be rough but never like this. The shift in demeanor prickles along your spine.

“Gonna take my cum in your perfect little pussy.” He groans. “Gonna look so fucking hot dripping out of you. Fuck it into your ass.” 

You whimper around his digits, sucking them deeper into your mouth until the weight disappears to give another wet prod against your asshole. “You’re so tight baby I don’t know if you’ll be able to take it.” 

Head bobbing, you sigh at the stretch. “I can take it.” 

A finger slips into your ass, spit and arousal easing the intrusion. You arch your back for more. Everything feels full. His cock deep battering your insides, his fingers wedge in your hole, the blanket of his body crushing you into the wall so much you can barely breathe. 

He might be right. You might not be able to take anything remotely resembling the girth of his length. Not if you’re this strung out from some fingering and dirty words. “Wait.”

Soonyoung is off you like he’s burnt. “What's wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No, baby,” you murmur, finding his face and kissing away the terrified frown. “I just thought it’d be more comfortable if we were in the bed.”

He slouches with relief. “Oh, okay. Yeah. Good idea.”  

Soonyoung doesn’t let you walk. You’re over his shoulder fireman style, one of his hands tickling the back of your knee until he almost drops you as you squirm. “Soonyoung I swear to god!”

“Wait, are you ticklish here?” he asks coyly. He knows you’re ticklish there, ended up kicked in the head the first time he decided to take advantage of the information. 

Squeals and laughter bounces off the walls as he races the short distance to the bedroom before tossing you on the mattress with a bounce. He drapes over you, sweet kisses on your cheeks and chins as he crowds you into the mattress.

“Go get a towel, I don’t think they’ll appreciate lube stains on the sheets.”

He disappears again – leaving a terrible coldness along your skin in the absence of his warmth. But his trip to the en suite gives you plenty of time to toss away your dress and to crawl to the head of the bed. Face down in the pillows, you arch your back for a view that might very well kill your boyfriend. Pussy soaked, entrance stretched and ready for use.

“Well, shit,” Soonyoung breathes. There's a thud and a few things skittering across the floor; not loud enough to be his head bouncing off the hardwood but whatever he was holding is forgotten in favor of ogling.

You sink deep enough it hurts. “Like what you see?”

“You know I do.”

“Then do something about it.”

He crawls up the bed, kneeling behind you and massaging your ass in his hands. The tickle in your gut flourishes as he spreads your ass apart. Two fingers curl into your cunt with ease while his mouth finds other use – sucking a bruise along the back of your thigh he’ll obsessively trace later. 

Muscles pliant, you liquify into the mattress under the gentle stretch of your core. His fingers return to their previous task; a feather weight you quickly become accustomed to before they slide in and you rut back into the motion. “That’s—that's good.”

You force a hand between your legs, mindlessly rubbing slow circles around your clit. Soonyoung bats it away and takes command; a little firmer, enough it makes things fade into haze.

“Wow, multitasking,” you praise, fisting the sheets.

“Trying to give my queen the full experience.” 

Even with both holes full of his fingers, you can’t help but snort. “You’re lame.” 

“You’re about to let me put my dick in your ass.” He presses deeper to emphasize the point. 

Familiar motions, a curl here, spreading the two apart enough you moan. “So?

“Can’t be that lame.” 

“It’s—ah—cute lameness. My little loser.”

“What did we say about being mean to me in bed?” he tuts.

“That I should only do it if I want you to come fast.”

“That’s right, so save it for later.”

His tongue joins his fingers, a firm heat spreading between your cheeks. Soonyoung is good at making it messy. You jump with stiff legs as his tongue breaches your hole; there and gone before he’s laving long strokes; a drooly mess left in wake of exploration. “What's it feel like?”

“You’d know.”

“Humor me a little.” Soonyoung leans back enough to spit where his fingers disappear – the smack of his lips leaving you flustered. He eats ass just as well as he eats pussy: devoted and eager.

You curl into the stimulation. “L-like I’ve got fingers in my ass.”

“Is that good or bad?” 

“It’s fine.” 

“Just fine?” 

“I don’t think I’ll come from it, but it's not bad.” Lies. If he keeps going you’ll definitely come. If Soonyoung hands you the vibrator sitting just out of reach it’ll happen faster than your ego would allow.

“Relax,” he commands. Soonyoung pushes until you’re flat to the mattress with nowhere to move besides back into filthy satisfaction.

“I am relaxed.”

“You’re not. I’m not doing this if it’s gonna hurt you.” He moves away, an uncharacteristic show of restraint triggering a tantrum of your own.

“Wait, don’t stop!”

The heady pressure multiples ten fold as he drags everything out; his mouth, his fingers, the tight grip on your cheeks to keep the spread for convenience. You crave the sting of his hand again but are left with the grit of his teeth against the shape of your thigh as a generous amount of lube joins the mix; cold and slippery. 

“Still good?”

“Great,” you breathe. A third finger joins and it might just be your demise. You might give Soonyoung a run for his money for the most needy; you, begging him to fuck your ass harder. Or him, rock solid and humping the bed for a drop of relief. “Where’s the plug?”

“Are you ready for it?” He strokes the dimple at the base of your spine in slow circles. Honestly, this could be enough. At least for Soonyoung. Since you started this entire endeavor he’s been a quick gust of wind away from blowing his load.

“Go slow.”

A new pressure, not as warm as before but equally intoxicating, rests against your hole. More lube, enough the towel between your legs gets soaked in its own right. You take it though. An easy stretch until the silicon disappears and a foreign fullness makes your tongue feel thick.

You squeeze around it instinctually. Soonyoung keeps your ass spread like a voyeur, both holes teasing him. Your fingers don’t stop on your clit. He could watch you get off with a full ass and an empty pussy and die happy.

“Fuck,” he chokes, pulling the plug out just a fraction before you suck it back in greedily. “What now?”

“Now you fuck me.” 

You flop onto your back without much grace, too focused on the intoxicating promise of having your boyfriend’s cock to care about looking sexy. Soonyoung kneels between your thighs – swollen length sitting heavy in his lap, tempting you to lap away the mess if there weren’t better things to do.

He doesn’t waste time. Your clit takes the head of his cock full on, muscles twitching. You go limp and cross eyed – you could lay here all night letting him play with your body as he pleased. But you want him inside you. Need the overwhelming rush you know Soonyoung can give you.

But he tries to kiss you with a mouth covered in lube and you stop him short. “Ew, I’m not kissing you.” 

“Why?” he whines. His cock teases your entrance with a slow grind; just the tip.

“I don’t know, maybe the fact your tongue was in my ass less than five seconds ago? Go brush your teeth.” 

“Really?” 

“Hop to it butt boy.” 

“You eat your girlfriend’s ass one time.” Soonyoung shakes his head but peels off you and jumps from the bed.

“I’ll return the favor, don’t worry!” you call.

The cover of running water from the sink disguises the sounds you digging through a suitcase. Tucked away is a tried and true favorite – a vibrating dildo from back home snuck along for the trip when the weather report forecasted rain the entire weekend and you were sure you’d need something to keep you both occupied while kept indoors. Nothing but clear skies for miles made it slip from your mind but now you say a quick ‘thank you’ to yourself for having the forethought even if it’s not exactly what you intended.

“Getting started without me?” Soonyoung calls from the foot of the bed. He doesn’t do a thing to stop the show – entranced by your clit swelling beneath the vibrating head.

You spread your legs wider, knees to your chest. He can see everything: the plug splitting your ass, arousal dripping from your entrance. “Come over here and make me stop.”

“I remember – a few hours ago actually – you saying I ‘don’t make’ you do anything.”

He climbs over you, arms caging you in but just out of reach. You meet his gaze – surprised by the fire burning there. You want to see what will happen if it’s fed.

“Maybe I want you to.”

“Oh? And what do you want me to make you do?” 

“Hmmmm, when we were on the couch I wanted you to call me a slut.” 

“Really?” 

“Makes me feel dirty.” You spread across the bed, ass curving into the mattress and shifting the plug deeper in your ass.

He sucks at your jaw as he sinks inside. “You like being dirty?” 

“For you,” you gasp. “What about you? What do you want me to do to you?”

 “Dreamed of you choking me,” Soonyoung admits with a fresh rush of his hips.

“That’s so hot,” you whine.

“Calling me a good boy.” He goes for your nipple, a tender suck you keen into.

The tidal wave of pleasure floods your brain. All you can do is lay there and take it while murmuring praises. “You are a good boy.” 

“Yeah?” 

“The best,” you tease.

Soonyoung rolls onto his back, you planted firmly in his lap as he goes for the plug. It’s difficult enough to sit still when you’re full of his cock, let alone the new addition. You sink deeper into it – knees bent and legs spread to take as much as possible. A stinging stretch in your insides that threatens to tear you in two. He twists the silicon and you collapse into his chest.

“Fuck, just like—nhhh.” 

He plants his feet and keeps fucking you from below. The vibrator is stuck between your stomachs but you pull back enough and it’s there, almost painfully forced against your clit. You curl into the painful throb. “I’m—”

His hand is at your cheek, forcing you to look at him with lidded eyes. Soonyoung is beautiful but when he’s like this – skin flushed and eyes wild, the complete picture of debauchery – it’s devastating. 

You kiss him. Tongue along his teeth and panting breath, a hand at his collar for balance as you focus on rutting back into the motion of his cock with a tight squeeze. Your throat raws with his name. “Soonyoung.”

Your chin is wet with drool, vision blurry as you collapse into his chest. Soonyoung slows but doesn’t stop, maintaining gentle strokes as condense back into reality; fingers tracing the notches of your spine.

“Holy shit.”

“You squirted,” he whispers awestruck.

You certainly did. Even through the slick of lube the mess is evident, soaking his own crotch and no doubt ruining the sheets.

“I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard,” you gasp.

Grabbing for his face, you kiss Soonyoung again with slow and lazy indulgence. The room warms or maybe it's just Soonyoung’s chest against yours but you crave more.

“You done?” Soonyoung grunts as you thumb one of his nipples.

You sit up, ass flat to his thighs and breasts pressed together between your arms. “Nope, still gotta take care of my man.”

“You don’t have to.” Soonyoung perks up with another lazy thrust. “I can do it like this.”

“You ate my ass. I’d feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t let you fuck it. Besides, I think I can come again.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.”

You roll off. There’s a pang in your gut at the sudden emptiness but it’s bearable with what will happen next.

Back on your knees, Soonyoung settles in tight behind you. He adds more lube while working out the plug. Gritting against the drag, you nearly rip the sheets under your nails. “Huh.”

Soonyoung fishes the vibrator from somewhere. “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

Your walls split around it while he plays with the plug, gently rocking back into the motions. You’ll definitely come again. 

Batting his hand away, you fuck yourself with the dildo with command. “Spank me.”

Heat blooms in the same place he branded you before; right at the seat of your ass. “Like that?”

Soonyoung isn’t goading. He’s unsure. Rarely is he composed enough to call the shots, so you sink deeper and preen for him. “Harder.”

Another slap, sharp enough you lurch into the sheets. You nod because there are no words capable of slipping past your teeth other than a weak mewl of his name. 

“Fuck, babe.” 

You reach back, spreading your ass so he can focus on the task at hand. The plug disappears. In its place is the potent weight of his cock.

Soonyoung sinks deep, weight focused behind his hips. It feels…different. Not bad, not necessarily good either. It feels dirty. Like you shouldn’t be doing it but you are anyway. Good girls don’t do this. But you are. You’re letting your boyfriend use your ass as his personal cum dump. And because that's not enough, you squeeze around the dildo still sheathed inside you.

“Good?”

“Big,” you pant.

“Want me to stop?”

“No!” you argue.

Soonyoung maintains a tight grip on your hips to prevent you from overwhelming him. “Oh—okay, fuck, okay.” 

“Does it feel good for you?”

“Yeah, tight.” He palms your ass, spreading you further to watch your walls open around him.

You focus on fucking yourself with the fake cock. Matching everyone of his timid thrusts with one of your own. “Tighter than my pussy?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” Soonyoung prattles without thought. He’s unraveling in the dangerous heat of your body. 

“Which would you rather fuck?”

“I don’t know, they’re both—god—they’re both good.”

“Wish you could fuck both of them at the same time. Do you think that makes me a whore?”

“No,” he sobs. But a twinge in his core betrays his thoughts.

You’re being downright cruel with the imaginary. “No? You don’t think your girlfriend wanting you to fill her ass and pussy at the same time makes her a slut?”

“I don’t think you’re a slut!” Soonyoung argues. But that edge is still there, he’s taking the bait.

“But I wanna be your slut, baby.”

“Fuck.” Another barely restrained thrust you take with sick glee.

“Say it,” you bark. “Call me your greedy little cum slut.”

“I—”

“C’mon, baby. Watch your girlfriend take your cock like a whore.”

He shoves your face into the pillows – a tight fist in your hair that adds to the fog. A raspy ‘my slut’ slips down your spine as he drives into you with enough force you choke. 

His cock swells, the beginning of his end as he wrecks your insides with bruising force. You push forward for your own; abandoning the vibrator and swiping frantic circles around your clit. Soonyoung doesn’t say it again but its more than enough to fuel you and retaliate with more muffled groans to match his.

Soonyoung moves in deep waves; losing pace and rolling into the heat of your ass with choppy thrusts. You wish he was choking you. Maybe it’d be too much but next time you’ll ask him to do it. Or you’ll ride him with his cock seated deep and your hand serving as his new necklace.

“Gonna come. Gonna come for you—oh my god.” 

You nod eagerly with an eye roll as if he can see the wreckage of your face. A familiar warmth you’ve experienced countless times in your pussy floods your ass, thick and sticky.

“Oh my god.” Soonyoung drops his weight, a perfect blanket against the AC of the bedroom now that the heat of having your guts battered has faded. “Jesus.”

“I was close,” you pout. 

Squirming back in his grip, he’s still hard with a heavy throb. Soonyoung doesn’t disappoint. Weak thrusts maintain the fire stoked in your gut and a reach around to pinch at your clit keeps you right at the edge.

“Soonyoung, please.”

“Beg for it,” he pants.

“Please make me come,” 

“My pretty little slut wants to come?”

Fuck.

“Ah-h. Yes! Fuck, yes.”

His other hand circles your neck, enough force you press into your hands and break your back in half just for a peak of him. The second you're done he’ll pass out – his eyes are wet, chin covered in drool. Soonyoung will go all night for you, for this.

A thumb splits your lips open, you think it’s a ploy for power. Something the grip at your throat gives him plenty of but he leans over and he spits in your mouth. “Then come.”

“Ugh, fuck Soonyoung—fuck me harder.”

Your body jumps over the cliff with permission; seizing, claws of endorphins shredding through your veins as your boyfriend rises to the challenge. Every drop turns into a flood with hard pulses, Soonyoung choking behind you from sensitivity.

Twitching in his hold, he pulls out, careful with the vibrator as well. The second he’s done he flops face first next to you like a rag doll.

“I think I died.”

You respond with a kiss to his temple. “I guess we’re both ghosts.”

“Being a ghost wouldn’t be so bad with you. My ghost would have a crush on you.”

“I would hope so considering I’d still be your ghost girlfriend.”

“You’d date me as a ghost? Simp,” he snorts but curls you beneath his arm. A play straight from your own book.

How romantic.

After an hour of naked dozing across the bed, you two manage to shuffle to the bathroom and slip into the tub. Sitting between Soonyoung’s leg, you drift off as the water soothes the muscles already beginning to ache. Soonyoung doesn’t speak; preferring to drag his lips up and down the slope of your neck for comfort. Every time he stops you squeeze at his arm draped over your stomach until he smiles against your ear and starts again.

“So where are we sleeping tonight? Because I’ll be honest, the lube covered bed is not my top choice.”

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi

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@scoupsjin @isabellah29 @luvseungcheol @crisle19 @iamawkwardandshy

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series: @pinklemonadeflav @gyuwoosbabie @dinossaurz @vixensss

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[iloveyou-morethanthis]

What Do I Love?

What do I love?

Chapter 4

Soonyoung POV ~Meet the Mates?

Soonyoung let out an audible sigh. Silently hoping you'd be gone by the time he woke up so he would have to deal with whatever he was feeling.

~~~~~

You weren't.

There you were rolled up in his stolen blankets, wearing his favorite pair of joggers, lightly snoring into his best pillow.

He smiled to himself. He debated stealing some of the covers back and cuddling you till the sun rose higher. But he thought better of it and pulled on some sweat as he made out towards the kitchen where he knew his apartment mates would be waiting with lectures and snarky comments. If he was lucky enough it would just be Jihoon, but when was he ever that lucky. And was that really luck??

"Morning asshat" Jihoon said after a long sip of coffee.

Soonyoung wonders what expletive would've come from his lips had he made the comment prior to the coffee in take.... on second thought he's much less curious. He rounds the island heading towards the fridge. Passing by Seungcheol and Jeonghan who are standing by the sink counters sharing glances in between sips of their own drinks.

Soonyoung opens the fridge to pull out his personally marked OJ container. He takes a swig and places it on the island keeping a safe distance from Jihoon and his unfinished coffee.

"Alright. I'm ready" Soonyoung says taking another sip from the carton.

Seungcheol sets his glass on the counter and crosses his arms. His face unreadable. Jeonghan looks up him with almost concern as he starts to speak, "How'd it go?"

Soonyoung scoffs, "Really?! How'd it go? That's what you have to say? You've wasted your precious beauty sleep to ask that?" He air quotes beauty sleep, that which Jeonghan holds most dear claiming it's a requirement for his line of work which he isn't completely delusional.

Jeonghan throws his arms up indignantly. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME SAY SOONYOUNG??!!! Even if I did go to my room wouldn't be able to sleep over the bitch in your bed screeching so loud! I might as well come out here to get clearer audio!" He yells a little to loudly. Soonyoung glances towards his bedroom door behind Jeonghan hand hoping his comments didn't reach your ears.

"Look Soonyoung, it's not that we don't mind you bringing girls home," Seungcheol starts.

"Oh really? Doesn't sound like it." Soonyoung questions in a low tone still glancing at the bedroom wanting to check if you're still fast asleep.

"I know our schedules are hard difficult to deal with, us working nights and Hoonie here working days but the fact is you're just too loud....You have the bedroom at the opposite end of the apartment and I can still hear you through my head phones." Seungcheol shook his head. "Fuck them all you want, bring as many in as you want. Just keep it down. Soonyoung if this doesn't work out you're gonna have to move out."

Soonyoung let it sink in. It was serious. This time they meant it. Not because Seungcheol was threatening him to move out but the fact that he cussed. He only ever cussed when he was really pissed, which meant he was serious this morning. Before he had a chance to answer the door beyond Jeonghan opened and you stepped out of his room. He could help but make a mental note of how good you looked in his joggers and his tshirt.

You stepped out around the corner to see all four men staring intently at you.

"She- She's– uhh," Jeonghan stammered. He looked her up and down then back at Soonyoung.

Soonyoung beamed at the surprise on Cheol and Hannie's faces. Jihoon however didn't look the least bit surprised probably because he would've been in the kitchen on his first cup of coffee if had decided to leave a few hours earlier.

"Uhm Hi," you stammered. Soonyoung's heart skipped a bit. Your voice was so much cuter and softer than it had been the night before. He walked over to you and set a kiss on your forehead, "Good morning"

What'd he do that for? To spite the others, or because the space on your forehead called to his lips. He thinks a moment before he decided it was a little bit of both but mostly the latter. He gave quick introductions pointing to each one respectively, "Y/N this is Seungcheol, Jeonghan and the one glaring into his empty coffee up is Jihoon."

"Hi. Nice pants." Jihoon mumbled as he hopped off the bar stool to get more coffee.

"Hi–thanks" you whispered so small, Soonyoung's pretty sure he's the only one who heard. And the somehow made him feel so light.

He ushered you both back into his room. Trailing kisses all over your face and neck and tickling you back into his bed.

"Good morning" he beams down at you.

"Good morning," you giggled quick to return all his kisses with one deep, sweet, passionate kiss.

"You didn't leave."

You laughed maybe at the slight excitement in his voice. "No I didn't, and I quote I was too 'worn out' to leave." Your smile was so bright he swore the sun was shining, not through his windows, but right from your heart. Your smile faltered as you began to get up, "I should probably go. Thank you for letting me stay."

There was an unspoken 'have a nice life' at the end of that statement. He wasn't ready for you to leave, not yet. He wanted, needed more.

He laced his fingers around your wrist and pulled you back into the bed as he whispered, "Just a little while longer." He paused just before adding please.

At that you were like putty in his hands and he was going to make you feel so good, so beautiful, and worship your body like the piece of art work that it was.

But first he had to get you out of his pants. It hurt him to see them leave your hips but made a mental note to see you in them again.

[highvern]

The Boy is Mine

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: smut

warnings:  weed/alcohol consumption, exhibitionism, marking, oral sex, creampie, cum eating, jealous!reader, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, pussy whipped hoshi

Length: ~ 5.5k

Note: dedicated to @the-boy-meets-evil bc she likes to yell at me about this couple. also @gyuswhore beta reading this despite our divorce

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Talk [a, f, s], Casual [a, s, f], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

You won’t admit it under anything short of waterboarding but sometimes there’s a sharp sense of worry Soonyoung will inevitably ditch you for someone that shits rainbows like he does. The type of girl that probably deserves the infinite patience he treats you with because she can use big girl words to communicate her feelings rather than pretend they don’t exist or allude to them in vague shows of affection you pretend aren’t happening.

Weeks of exclusivity and you still don’t let him kiss you in public because the thought of anyone seeing those feelings you can’t name play out is terrifying. You aren’t embarrassed of him, he touches you plenty, hangs around like a shadow following your every move. You like him, he likes you. Even with the mess of your brain he’s made it clear you have nothing to worry about but that ounce of doubt always lingers.

The girl attempting to chat Soonyoung up against the wall sparks that feeling. 

He looks fine as you left him. Nodding to her questions, no rush to be anywhere else. He isn’t rude without provision, and to expect it from him is asking for a change to the core of his being. But it’s times like these you wish you liked him less so you wouldn’t worry more.

But you don’t have anything to worry about. Soonyoung asked for exclusivity weeks ago. He isn’t your boyfriend, the word physically makes your skin crawl to think about, but the expectation is there. You’re exclusive. It wasn’t an explicit directive for himself but it’s physically impossible for him to even be entertaining anyone else. There isn’t enough time in the day unless a high quality clone is running around somewhere out there. Soonyoung spends more time at your apartment than his own and when he’s not at your place he’s working. And even then, he’s texting you how much he loves the after school kids at the dance studio.

So you keep silently repeating the affirmations that there's nothing for you to worry about while pouring another drink. It’d be better to look away and not subject yourself to torture but then you’d miss little miss sunshine closing the space between them and signing her own death warrant. 

You know the dance well. Pretend to be coy, maintain a step too close to be polite, try to sneak in a casual touch and read the vibe from there. Blondie barely manages to lift a hand before you drop the half full cup of ice and liquor in favor of shouldering through whoever blindly wanders into your war path. 

Soonyoung catches your approach, smiling over the stranger's head like he’s missed you for longer than the five minutes you’ve been absent for another drink. You’d warm under it like a flower in the sun if murder wasn’t such a tempting thought. 

He catches your waist the second you’re in his orbit, a reflex. But what he isn’t ready for is your mouth on his with such unprecedented vigor for a public setting. 

The kiss tastes like cheap beer and his weed pen but you don’t care. Your only concern is making sure whatever-her-name is has a front row seat to how much he wants you, and how bad her odds are at convincing him otherwise. You don’t tease for access to his mouth, prefering to licking against his bottom lip with enough tongue to make his hips buck like he’s in the privacy of your room and not pinned to the wall during a house party.

With a steel willpower, you manage to pull away; if only to smirk at the disgust on her face at the vulgarity. But not before biting at his lower lip, pulling until it pops out from between your teeth. Soonyoung might pass out from that alone.

"Oh,” you announce like you had no idea someone was watching from only a foot away. She’s red in the face, shocked and horrored as you bare your teeth and push your cheek up to Soonyoung’s mouth for a series of wandering kisses. “And you are?"

An indignant hmph! and whirl of blonde hair announces her retreat.

"Who was she?" you ask, dodging his attempt for a repeat.

He takes it in stride, tongue tracing across your pulse like no one is watching. "Who?" 

"That girl,” you sigh. 

"What girl?” 

"Don't play stupid, she was flirting with you." 

“Didn’t notice," he mumbles into your jaw.

It isn’t much but the words bubble across your skin. The tightness in your jaw melts a fraction, allowing you to indulge in more touching. More of him. Soonyoung is always ready to play where you’re concerned; a weight on your thigh proves it. You press into it in hopes she is still watching from across the room.

Serves her right if she is. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

“Wait.” Sooyoung pulls back, mouth agape. “Is that why you kissed me? You were jealous?”

He reads you too easily for comfort. “Shut up.”

“Oh my god,” he squeals. You’re tangled in his arms, suctioned to his chest while he rubs the tip of his nose across yours. “You are.”

“Don’t make it weird.” 

You’re pouting but Soonyoung is weak for it and lets you go without interrogation because his next kiss lands right on the curve of your lower lip. “You just stuck your hand down my pants because some girl breathed in my direction and I’m making it weird?”

“I’m leaving.”

You barely manage to turn away before he’s got you in his arms. “No, you’re not. Come here.” 

He drags you over to the table his friends managed to snag, planting you firmly in his lap without a care. An invitation you couldn’t refuse if you tried. It’s not unusual for you two to be attached at the hip. But the difference this time is that Soonyoung keeps kissing you. Your skin burns under his lips, mouth finding whatever part of you he can reach; shoulder, cheek, the back of your hand. Nothing can stop him now that he’s got permission, not even his friends watching in disgust over a game of cards.

It’s nicer than anticipated.

“Three fours.”

A few shifts across Soonyoung’s crotch under the guise of getting more comfortable is all it takes for a firm pressure to rise against your ass once again. He has no shame in how easy he folds; likes you knowing what you do to him with some PG grinding in front of an audience; what you can anticipate later away from prying eyes. 

“Bullshit,” you argue, eying the stack of fours in your hand.

Wonwoo picks up the pile, grumbling the entire time. 

The hand on your thigh flies a little too close to the sun as you continue playing, the others unaware that you're naked under your skirt and Soonyoung just figured it out. 

The ghost of his fingertips through your folds shivers up your spine. He inhales sharply. “Babe.”

“Hmmm?” you smile, nipping at his ear. Another press and he’s teasing your entrance like no one's watching. You clamp your thighs to stop him from mindlessly starting something neither of you are strong enough to stop. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re—”

“I’m?” you trail off, looking back to your hand and throwing more cards down. “Two nines.”

“Bullshit,” Jun calls.

“Suck it.” You flip over the same two cards, a pair of nines greeting everyone’s view. It’s a good distraction from what Soonyoung is doing under the edge of the table. How he sweats around his collar and goes pink.

He doesn’t shy away from your clit swelling under weak circles. The brief thought of him fingering you to a boneless end right here crosses your mind, both of you fighting to keep quiet. But you’re sober enough to see the downfall of that particular idea.

As Jun collects the new stack of cards, you lean closer to Soonyoung’s ear. “Tell them you aren’t feeling well.”

“I’m not feeling well,” he parrots immediately. Curious glances shoot his way, estimating if he’s that drunk or if it’s something else. More likely calculating how far they can run before he starts planting drunk kisses on their cheeks.

Knowing looks from around the table watch you slap a hand to his forehead. “Oh no, baby, you’re heating up. Let’s get you some air.”

No one will believe it, not with the way his fingers shine in the dim light when they surface from under your skirt. But none are brave enough to say anything to your face. 

You usher Soonyoung away from the table and towards the hallway where you can hide away for his sake. His friends don’t need to know what you look like when he fingers you into gooey submission.

Wonwoo’s voice hits your back, not even pretending to whisper. “Thirty bucks they fuck in the bathroom.”

“Dude come on,” Jun responds. “Fifty bucks they fuck in someone’s room.”

“Thank fucking god its not one of ours this time.”

“At least you don’t share a wall with him. Did you know he lets her—”

You’re well out of earshot for the rest of their not so secret conversation. Soonyoung latches to your back without concern, eager to find out whatever you have planned.

You peek into a few rooms, distracted by a pair of lips following the slope of your shoulder. A bathroom won’t do and the next room is already occupied, door locked tight. Just as you fear your options are running out, the final door at the end of the hall reveals an empty bed. When you spot the framed photo on the dresser, you realize it's too perfect to go to waste.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Sooyoung groans, knee parting your legs as he forces you back against the door. “Should make you jealous more often.”

A hand up your skirt sets to work immediately, taking advantage of the lack of undergarments and teasing your entrance. He’s good at quick fucks where you’re not supposed to. Knows exactly how to work you into a panting mess with embarrassing ease.

"If you ever,” you gasp from a delicious scissor of his fingers. “Try to make me jealous, I will rip your balls off.”

He presses in a third finger like a branding iron. “Hot.” 

You snake your own grip over his zipper to provide something better than your thigh for him to grind against. Fucking against the door for anyone happening to stumble is alluring. But for what you have planned, the bed is a more convenient option. 

“Bed,” you demand. Soonyoung goes with a gentle shove, tripping over his own feet to keep you in his hold. His hand stays attached, fingers curling inside you without missing a beat.

You suck at his pulse, teeth razing against the skin with the sole purpose of marking him as yours. His hips kick enthusiastically in response. “Fuck, babe.”

He likes when you bite him; when you bruise a mark into his skin to find later. Enjoys the sting of your nails across his back when he fucks you limp into the mattress and vice versa. Soonyoung’s favorite thing to wear is evidence of you on his body. Even if he blushes when you point it out, he never complains. 

A swatch of red and purple framed by teeth marks blooms after you lean away and your insides throb at the sight. It’ll be a pain come tomorrow when he needs to go into the sweltering heat of the studio. But you want it to serve as a warning to anyone who takes a second glance in his direction. 

He’s yours.

Soonyoung wouldn’t splinter away so easily but it’s the first time you’ve felt anything like this. The nagging voice in the back of your head: jealous and possessive. Because now you’ve got something you’d care to lose.

“Want you,” you groan, forcing him onto the edge of the mattress and commanding his lap like a throne. Another bite at his neck, hard enough he winces and shutters through the initial sting but doesn’t shy away. “Wanna ride you.”

You clench around his fingers, the wet noise of your arousal a disgusting backing track to your kissing. This might be enough to make you cum but it isn’t the point. 

“You wanna fuck me?”

His forehead sweats. The initial evidence of a blush spreads across his neck, probably from booze but also the way you rock into his fingers like they’re soaking his cock. “God, yes. But here?”

“Yeah, here.” One hand abandons the grip you have on his shirt, aiming straight for his zipper and slipping beneath the fabric for a teasing squeeze. The fist in his hair is less forgiving when he doesn’t answer. 

“What if we get caught?”

“We won’t,” you coo. Soonyoung knows that tone. It’s the one you use when your sadistic streak is running hot and he can’t fathom refusing whatever you’ve got planned. “I want you.”

Dropping further in his lap, you guide the ridge of his cock to your clit, a messy mix of precum and your essence that makes you both blush brighter. 

“Does that feel good?”

He responds with a shaky “yeah.” His other hand, the one not knuckle deep in your pussy, gropes your ass, forcing your skirt further up your waist so he can watch himself stain the pink of your folds white. The good thing about fucking Soonyoung is he’s too weak not to give into whatever you want.

It’s good for you too. The press of his dick where it technically shouldn’t be; not without a condom. You’ve got half a mind to fuck him like this, using his cock to play with yourself until the sick feeling of his cum between your legs follows you out the door.

“Shit,” Soonyoung grunts.

Your teeth tease along his neck, another mark he’ll need to cover up rising to the surface.“What?” 

“Feels good,” he gasps, rolling into the firmness of your core with untamed need.

“Can you come like this? Cover my pussy in cum?” 

You struggle to stay even for the same reasons he does: you really want to feel him on your skin. 

“Fuck, yes.” He goes taunt, the pace of your fist growing rabid. His voice is broken, a rough edge under your mercy. “Gonna come.”

“Don’t.” You rut into him again; the slippery feel more tempting than you’d admit. 

“Please—” he whines at the next upstroke of your fist. “I’ll get you off too. I promise. Then we can fuck at home.”

“Or…you can fuck me now.”

Soonyoung cries at the offer. “I don’t have a condom.”

“That’s okay.”

“You mean…” Soonyoung eyes you with something like wonder. As if you’re a living goddess sitting in his lap and he has no idea how you got there. “Seriously?”

“I wanna feel you come inside me, baby.”

“Don’t tease me right now.”

“I mean, unless you don’t want—”

He doesn’t let you finish, flipping you on your back and shouldering between your legs without a word. Rough hands force your skirt up around your waist so he can taste you.

“Oh my god.” You roll into his eager tongue, fingers twisting into the short strands of hair to guide him just right. As if Soonyoung needs it after so many months of dedication to your pleasure. 

Your own fingers pinch across your chest, sharp pain you arch into for more. Soonyoung’s rubs you until your back stiffens; a harsh suck of his mouth making you warm all over.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to come inside you,” he grunts with a wet slide against your clit.

“Yeah?” you goad. “Want everyone to see it drip down my leg? Let ‘em know who fucks me this good?”

He responds with a pained groan, a telltale sign he’s touching himself to the thought. 

You're running on borrowed time in someone else’s room and can’t remember if either of you thought to lock the door. If you’re caught, you might as well make the shame worth it.

“Come here,” you beck, catching your own taste on his mouth. 

He rolls to the side without much direction, eager to have you back on top. “Take your shirt off.”

“No. I’m not getting caught with my tits out.” He humps between your legs, shoving his pants down far enough they’re a nonissue. “Is that really what gets you off?”

“You’ve got nice tits. Everyone should know.”

“Perv.” You suck at his earlobe.

“You’re the one that never wears panties but a little bit of nipple is a problem?”

You abandoned the grip in his hair to pinch his cheeks tight, lips puckered for your next kiss. “Yeah, at least you’re friends don’t have to see you sucking on my tits at the table.”

Soonyoung lurches again, nestled tight at your entrance. A simple tease, the head of his cock and nothing more. 

“Oh fuck,” he grunts. 

It’s pathetic to moan with such little contact but you can’t help it. He’s fucking hot. You fumble for his face, bringing him back into a kiss as he presses through the initial stretch. It’s a snug fit even with his fingers earlier.

There’s no time to play with him; torture him with slow descent, taking inch by inch. Instead, you bottom out with a silent promise that next time you’ll take all the time in the world.

He’s flush between your thighs with a little more movement; a sensation you’re accustomed to except now there’s nothing in between. It’s a good feeling. A great feeling. You’ve never let anyone have you like this; unabashedly bare, only for him. Soonyoung doesn’t have many of your firsts but he’s got the ones that carry the most weight. 

You sink a little deeper, gut caving. “Holy shit.”

Soonyoung’s head rolls back. “Stop that.”

“What?” Another squeeze, mold your insides to his shape, makes him whine.

You can see it. In the furrow of his brow. The twitch of his jaw. How frantic he is to stop you from dragging across his lap. Soonyoung could spend forever in your pussy and never grow accustomed to it. There’s no shame in his adoration either. If you don't want him to cum for hours then he’ll go insane to feed that hunger. You love it; revel in the flattery. But tonight, you crave to reap the benefits of his short fuse.

“Gimme a second,” he pleads. 

You give him exactly one and then grab for his hand, forcing it to rub at your clit as you start a shaky cadence in his lap. There’s a glow where his cock rests; nestled deeper after he starts thrusting up inside you on every downstroke.

Defiance floods to replace the desperation you felt before. Defying who is the real question. Soonyoung who’s begging for an inch of relief? Or defying the girl who started this whole thing out in the living room? Maybe it's less about ignoring rules and more about proving a point. 

You’re the one that gets to have him like this, you’re the one that gets to sit in his lap whenever you please, the person he cuddles up to at night and whispers secrets that will fade to dust come morning. It’s you at the beginning of the day and way past when the moon rises over the horizon. And he’s that for you. Now it’s time to prove it to an invisible audience who’ll never know.

“Tell me how it feels,” you demand, nails biting into his wrist.

He watches the contact with glassy eyes, refusing to blink lest he miss a single second.  “Tight. Wet. Oh my god. Wanna feel you come on me.”

You whine into the next upstroke, muscles shaking. Your insides feel used and dirty already. Back arching, Soonyoung mouths at your chest over the fabric over top as you focus on the sweet grind.

Soonyoung isn’t a cocky lover, he’s a submissive one. Likes to be taken care of; directed and praised for being a good boy who knows how to treat you well.

But you want him to be. Maybe it’s toxic but the itch to make him just as insane as you felt seeing that girl flirt with him is too hard to ignore.

A hand on his throat is what finally makes him look away from where he disappears inside you. Breathing hitching when you provide a gentle squeeze before asking, “Who does this pussy belong to?”

“Me,” he pants without missing a beat. 

“That's right. So fuck it like you own it.”

Soonyoung flips you underneath him, hips driving with unrestrained force at your command. He pulls you down to the edge of the bed, thrusting back inside without hesitation; forcing your ankles on his shoulders, flexibility stretched to the limit when he leans down to suck at your tongue.

“Fuck me, god yes,” you keen. You lay pliant; eager to take whatever Soonyoung will give when he’s a slave to his own pleasure. “You’re so big, might—ugh—break me in half.”

“So fucking tight,” he moans. His thrusts are sloppy, lost of the thought of your heat dragging against his cock. The fact he’s not just fucking you raw but gets to fuck his cum into you too makes anything beyond release an afterthought. 

“Fuck me harder,” you demand with your nails in his chest.

He drops a knee on the bed, using the leverage to press deeper; verging on that sweeter pain you crave.

“Oh—fuck. I’m cumming,” he groans into your neck. 

“Give it to me, wanna feel it,” you beg, nails scratching down his spine. “Please.” 

His warmth floods your insides and you clench tight around the feeling. Worn, used. Stretched out perfectly from Soonyoung’s cock. You feel like jelly even without the buzz of your own orgasm.

Soonyoung lands a sweet kiss to your pulse. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. That was hot,” you pant. “God.”

“Soonyoung, but I’ll take the compliment.”

“Nope. Get off me.” You pretend to struggle underneath his weight, not enough for him to actually go anywhere but he flattens you into the mattress until you give up. “You’re so gross.”

“Babe,” he coos. “Be nice to me.”

“Be nice to me,” you mock. “I let you come inside me, how much nicer can I get?”

He kisses you, hips giving a languid roll to remind you he’s a dancer and can fuck like one even after spilling his load inside you. You shiver from the thought of another round with his spend as lube.

It’s a short lived fantasy. 

Soonyoung slips down your front, mouth cataloging your skin in sweltering passes. As his fingers replace his cock to prevent leaking onto the blanket neither of you are responsible for cleaning. Even worn from a hard fuck, you suck his fingers in, ready for more.

“Gonna keep it all right here for me, yeah?” He gawks at the reveal of his fingers, rapt attention on the lewd sheen.

You ignore the question in favor of goading him. “Take a picture.”

“What?” 

“I said take a picture,” you tempt him again, legs spreading wider, presenting the blush of your cunt for his inspection.

He eyes it wonder, fingers tracing through without concern for your sanity. “Seriously?” 

“Mhm.”

“Fuck.” He’s got his phone in hand in a flash, recording the streaks of white staining your folds. “Now that is a pretty pussy.”

“Wow, it’s only pretty now because you came in it?”

Soonyoung ignores the dig. His fingers glide through the mess, fingering it back inside. “Push it out for me.”

He snaps a few more pictures for you both to drool over later before abandoning his phone on the floor and getting his mouth back on you. His tongue circles your clit, groaning at the combination of fluids. No one has ever come inside you, which means no one has ever eaten their cum out of you. The deprived flare in your gut is one you’ll always associate with him.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, breaking under the curve of his digits between your worn walls. More violent shudders under the gentle passes of his mouth against your clit. Hopefully he’ll do this again next time in the privacy of your room; where he can lick you clean and spit the mess in your mouth for your own taste. “If you keep fingering me like that you’ll need to fuck me again.”

He takes the challenge for what it is, rubbing harshly on your inner walls, monitoring for tell tale signs. Sweat at your thighs, stomach dipping deep. The warmth in your veins flares dangerously.

“Stop that,” you grunt. He stops under the squeeze of your pussy, and has the nerve to pout.

“What?” he asks. The innocence is fake. Soonyoung found that spot long ago and it’s his favorite plaything when neither of you have a place to be and dirty sex is on the table.

“I’m not squirting in some strangers room, you freak.”

More firm grinds of his fingers against your g-spot, reveling in the clench of your jaw and how you get wetter. “Getting cummed in is better?”

“Keep doing that and you’ll never do it again.”

“You wouldn’t.” He knows you would. First hand experience when you locked him out of his own bathroom and moaned from the heavy flow of the faucet over your clit while he cried at the door after tried his hand at edging you. Or the times you’ve called him just to moan in his ear at the most inappropriate times because you felt like it.

“Try me. Don’t think I forgot about those cuffs in your dresser.” You force the hem of your top out of the way, tits on display just to torture him. “Now hurry up before someone catches us.”

Soonyoung wants to talk back but he won’t threaten his new privileges for some short lived satisfaction. He’s smart like that.

Tight suction on your clit has your eyes rolling, vision flared white. “F-fuck. That’s so good, baby. Just like that.”

You moan loud enough someone has definitely deduced what's happening in this corner of the house but you don’t care. Not with the laps at your core, or how he leans back to spit on it, adding to the mess. 

With a firm tongue, he rockets you into the abyss.

“I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum,” you chant.

He doesn’t stop. Not until your thighs tighten and hips buck into his waiting mouth, fingers deep to the hilt. You coil around the sparks in your veins. A gut punch to your nerves that’s more vicious thanks to the sick slide of his cum still lubing your insides.

“Oh my god, you’re a freak,” you mutter. Soonyoung already back to kissing, heady with your taste.

He indulges you with more touching, soft massaging up the back of your legs as you melt into the mattress. “Where are your panties?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Because,” he mumbles into your thigh. “I’m not paying the fine from Uber for getting cum on the seat. Now hand them over.” 

You pull them from your pocket with an eye roll and force them into his chest. You weren’t kidding about walking outside with his cum dripping down your leg but Soonyoung’s need for a modicum of public decency wins.

He shimmies the fabric up your legs before landing a kiss right over the crotch. “I will be back for you later.”

“You’re so lame,” you laugh. 

He sits up, chasing the sound until it fizzes across his tongue. A lazy makeout blooms between you. Even after everything, you still want each other. 

Cock soaked in his lap, it’s presented like a gift for you and you only. You slip down to the carpet, on your knees as he stands over you.  “Can you cum again? For me?”

“I think so y-yeah—shit.” He chokes on another moan when you squeeze him in a tight hold.

The wet suck of your mouth on his cock is close to torture, nerves fried from all you’ve put him through tonight. The familiar taste of cum and your pussy, two things you’ve licked from his skin frequently but never together, greets you. Makes sense why he’d want more of it.

You don’t ease him into anything. Grip tight, you jerk him into the bobbing rhythm of your head, curving him down the back of your throat with ease. 

“Fuuuck,” he grunts. A hand comes to the back of your head, forcing you down until you choke. Soonyoung is more than familiar with your limits. Challenges them frequently but this isn’t one of those times. He’s giving you the exact treatment you love: fucking your throat raw.

His cum leaks across your tongue, growing thicker until he throbs with a weak spurt. 

Leaning back, you suck down air greedily. “Good?”

Soonyoung bends at the waist to savor the warmth of your lips against his. He pulls you back on the mattress for cuddling without concern for his cock laying out in the open.

Typical. 

“I can’t feel my legs,” he says. 

“Wow, twins,” you jest. “C’mon lets get out of here before someone comes looking.”

As soon as you say it someone knocks at the door like the police, thunderous raps against the wood that dislodges you from his hold and onto the floor.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” a shrill voice calls from behind the door coupled with a jiggle of the doorknob.

At least it’s locked.

“Uh oh,” you laugh. “Times up.”

Rushing to right your clothes, your thighs stick together from the tacky mess Soonyoung’s worked between them. Looks like everyone might see his cum on your leg after all.

Soonyoung is in shambles. A blushing sweating sight with a throat covered in bruises and lips swollen. There's a wet stain on his crotch from who knows what. You can’t possibly look any better but there’s nowhere to hide. Not with the subject of your revenge waiting.

When you open the door Blondie fumes on the other side. “Why the fuck—”

“My boyfriend wasn’t feeling well,” you smile. There’s cum at the corner of your mouth, thick and drying. You swipe a finger through it suck it away just to fuck with her. “Sorry.”

She gapes over your shoulder, finding your newly minted boyfriend she’d been flirting with thirty minutes earlier staring like a deer in headlights. Serves her right.  

Before she can rip your throat out, you snatch Soonyoung’s hand and pull him towards the exit.

“Oh my god,” you pant in the cool air of the street. “I thought she was gonna kill me.”

It’s quieter out here. The gentle woosh of the city takes over, tires rushing over raid soaked pavement and drunk laughter further up the road. 

Soonyoung is quiet next to you. Appraising you with hesitant curiosity as he speaks. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” you swallow, preparing for rejection. “Got a problem with it?”

“No,” Soonyoung shakes his head with a squeeze to your fingers interlaced with his. “Just…gimme a second.”

“Oka—”

He turns around, arms thrown wide before bellowing, “YESSSSSSSSSS.”

A few lights come on, windows filled with the silhouettes of angry neighbors yelling back their discontent at the noise of Soonyoung’s cheers. 

He turns around with a proud smile you can’t help mimic.

“You okay?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I’m cool.”

“Mmmm,” you hum in agreement, next thought silenced by a sweet kiss from your boyfriend.

It’s a short trip home. The silence of the car provides room to dwell on the new developments of the night.

If Sooyoung is your boyfriend, then, by default, you’re his girlfriend. The idea is foreign and still makes your skin crawl but when you work through that layer of instinctual rejection, it’s actually nice. 

Soonyoung tugs you into his orbit before you can get your keys out. "Just so you know, you really don’t have anything to be jealous about. I haven’t looked at another woman since the day we met." 

"Thank you?" 

"I'm just saying, I really like you. Like, really like you.” he pauses to tangle his arms around your waist so you can’t shy away from the confession. “But if this is how you act everytime you're jealous I wouldn't be mad." 

“Awwww,” you gush, booping him on the noise with a smile like knives. “Make me jealous again and I’ll smother you in your sleep.”

“Let's go upstairs and you can smother me with something else.”

“Freak.”

“Be nice to your boyfriend,” he chastises.

“My freak?”

His face softens, still glowing at the corners but something like fondness shines through. “Much better.”

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes

@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos

@seungkw1 @horanghaezone @jespecially @scoupsjin @isabellah29

@luvseungcheol @crisle19

series: @pinklemonadeflav @gyuwoosbabie @dinossaurz @vixensss

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[highvern]

Talk

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings:  oral sex/face sitting/69, prone bone, dom/sub dynamics (dom!reader/sub!hoshi),  protected sex, impact play (spanking), mentions of butt stuff but nothing explicit

Length: ~ 4.3k

Note: this ended up way longer than i originally planned... by like 2k but im weak for sub hoshi. realized i accidentally made them schmidt and cece from new girl.... oh well. as always thank u @gyuswhore for suffering my horrible punctuation and EVERYONE HAS TO READ HER UP COMING HOSHI FIC FOR PIRATE HOSHI I DEMAND IT

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Casual [a, s, f], Mine [s], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

Soonyoung talks. A lot. 

Sometimes it makes no sense. Like the occasions he calls you after a night out and slurs his words through the speaker as you hum agreement to who knows what until he passes out while still on the line, letting you hear every snore and smack of his lips until you hang up; or when he’s inside you and it's all a bit too much that he has to tell you how good it feels in excruciating detail; or when you both wake up in the morning, you late for work and him trying to talk you into keeping the sheets warm for just a few more minutes, and Soonyoung thinks he’s convinced you but fifteen more minutes really won’t hurt because his apartment is closer to your office anyway.

He talks so much that not hearing his voice the second he opens the door is like a slap in the face.

There's no invitation inside, or lukewarm greeting. The door hangs ajar, Soonyoung already back down the hall in the direction of his room with the expectation you’ll follow. 

You do, but with the same hesitancy you’d approach a wild animal: curious and on edge.

Despite the hour, his roommates aren’t anywhere to be seen. No bodies sprawled across the couch or light under their doors. Their presence never stopped you before but it’s unsettling that there's no buffer of anything to break the storm cloud choking the atmosphere. Just stark exposure to whatever is clearly bothering Soonyoung that he won’t tell you about because, technically, you two don’t do that. Or, he does and you vehemently refuse all of it with less and less authenticity each time.

Soonyoung doesn’t prattle on about his day or ask about yours as you trail behind him. He throws off his shirt without a word, collapses on the edge of the mattress, and roughly pulls you into his lap. It’s cold and unfeeling and exactly the kind of sex you’d enthusiastically participate in a year ago. But nothing like the Soonyoung you’ve grown familiar with over the past few months.

He doesn’t comment on the low cut of your top, falling into the motions without the usual banter. 

You wiggle free from his grasp, trying to meet his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He doesn’t look at you before taking back up where he left off.

“Stop.” You push him back, trying to get a look at his face but he stays in the crook of your neck. “Stop.”

The silence that follows is loud. He collapses back into the bed, arms curling up to hide away from whatever is chasing him.

“I said I’m fine,” he mumbles.

“Could've fooled me,” you huff.

“Doesn’t matter. Not what you come here for anyway, right?”

A half truth that stings more than you’d like. It sinks in your gut in the quiet dark of his room.

“You know what? Forget I asked, I’m leaving.”

“Wait,” he says, arms attempting to snake around your waist but you’re already up.

“No. You don’t need to be an asshole when I’m just trying to be nice.”

“Because you’re sunshine and rainbows all the time?”

“Did I fucking say I was? If you’ve got a problem with it you’ve had long enough to lose my number.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” he sighs heavily. “Bad day.”

You soften at the break in his voice. Stepping back over, you stand between his legs. He looks small, hunched over with his head in his hands and the weight of the world on his shoulders. The light you’ve come to associate with having him within reach is gone and all that's left is a man you don’t really recognize. He buries his face in the warmth of your stomach, and goes limp as you run a hand across his shoulders.

“Do—” you clear your throat. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Because if Soonyoung is talking there's less chances for you to open your mouth and screw it all up. You don’t know how to be doughy and tender with the same level of ease he possesses. You’ll probably fail trying but it's the least you can do.

It’s uncharted territory; for you, for this, whatever this is because it doesn’t really resemble anything you’ve done before even though the foundation is the same. Because you care about Soonyoung, and he obviously cares about you. But you’re not sure how to let him and even less sure how to return it.

“No.” 

“Okay,” you say, at a loss for what comes next.

Inactivity breeds restlessness. Without any idea how to do this on your own, you default to the steps he took when you were half cooked on your bathroom floor.

Soonyoung eyes you with questions but doesn’t speak as you drag him into the en suite. Bites his tongue as you work off your clothes under the sterile overhead light and then move to work on his; raising his arms when you poke him and managing his pants on his own. He even smiles, or his mouth twitches in a vague allusion to a grin, when you flick water at him after guaranteeing the temperature won’t give you both pneumonia.

Finally tucked behind the shower curtain, he stands dumbly. Not another move to help, content to watch you wash his hair, nails raking over his scalp until he shivers. 

You ignore the prod at your thigh. Focused on letting the warmth of the water do the heavy lifting, you soak a washcloth in soap and lather his skin until it tinges pink. A shampoo mohawk earns a kiss dusted along your shoulders and you might even blush a bit if you weren’t so focused on perfecting the spikes so he looks like one of those 90s alternative poster boys.

Out of the shower, his vow of silence continues. Everything he isn’t saying is clear in his eyes, especially when you slather his face in one of those mud masks, painting him bright green. He’s less intimidating with chunks of clay in his eyebrows.

He isn’t accommodating but he also doesn’t outright refuse which seems to be the best you’re going to get. 

“You look like Shrek,” you snort, satisfied and turning towards the mirror to cover your own face in a matching shade.  

“Well then you're Fiona.” His head comes over your shoulder, chin digging into bare skin to watch you in the mirror. His chest is sticky against your back from steam but you don’t mind if it means he’ll talk to you.

“Actually,” you think, wiggling to face him. “I think you’re more like Donkey.” 

“The dragon fits you better anyway.”

“Are you calling me scary?” you gasp.

“Yes.”

“Good. Remember that next time you want me to suck on your balls.”

He winces. “I can feel them retreating into my body already.”

“Don’t make me laugh, it’ll mess up the mask.”

Without a care for the still drying mess of his face, he takes refuge back in his favorite place. Tucked under your chin, he sighs.

“I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. Work sucked today. I didn’t get a contract I wanted, they picked some other kid at the studio for it. I’ve taught him for years and they picked him over me.”

“I’m sorry.” You placate him with a gentle hand up his back, nails tracing loose patterns as the fan hums over head.

“Not your fault.”

“No, but it still sucks.”

“Yeah.” He nuzzles closer, arms heavy around your waist like you’d even think to move away. “It’ll be fine though. He’s a good kid and I couldn’t be mad at him. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Fifteen minutes later, you both wash away the flakes of clay, cracked around the corners of your eyes and mouths, and retreat back under the covers in one set of pajamas split between: you in one of his shirts with nothing underneath, and him in sweatpants with nothing on top. 

Soonyoung insists that Pirates of the Caribbean is his comfort movie, something about Kiera Knightly with a gun being his sexual awakening (which explains a lot), and you let him put it on the tiny screen of his laptop with plans to fall asleep in the first five minutes.

His lips are at your temple, a dull pressure that makes your blood hum. “I always wanted to be a pirate growing up.”

“Really?” you ask, edging towards unconsciousness from the lazy drag of his fingers on your hip.

“Yeah,” he agrees, eyes glued to the screen. “Have my own ship, no rules, a bunch of sexy wenches.”

“Half naked women with scurvy were a part of your career plan?”

“Okay, maybe I added those just now but my point stands.”

The picture of Soonyoung with a scar on his chest and one of those ruffled linen shirts straight off the cover of a dime novel some grandma would read on the train with no shame isn’t that bad. Actually, it’s pretty sexy. But you won’t feed his delusions.

“What point?”

He rolls on top of you, face open with grave seriousness. “We should role play. Me as the hot pirate captain, you as the beautiful princess. Forbidden love, enemies type stuff. You run away from being royal and end up joining my crew. Oh no, Captain Hoshi, I had no idea this was your room! What an impressive sword!” he squeals in a breathy mock of you.

“And then,” you gasp. “you come in five minutes and I convince everyone to throw you overboard?”

“Hurtful. But I’m willing to forgive you if you call me captain. Just once.”

He’s close enough to kiss, lips pouted as he waits for you to give into his demand. A gentle peck bordering on domestic makes him sigh, the taste of toothpaste lingering on his breath. Just as you think you’ve distracted him away from such an ridiculous idea, he leans back with a gleam in his eye that says he’ll wait all night if you make him.

“How about we roleplay falling asleep?” you sigh, eyes closed against his expectant gaze.

“Nope, too late. I’m thinking about you wearing nothing but a pirate hat and now I’m hard.”

He curls right into the meat of your thigh, hot and ready to go if you give the word. Sleep is tempting but the thought of a quick tumble wakes you up enough to entertain him. 

“Alright, but you’re doing all the work,” you sigh. “Take off my clothes, captain.”

Pausing to let the idea settle, he shakes his head. “That’s actually not as hot as I thought it would be.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you fuff. “I’m watching the movie.”

You try to shove him away with zero intent to actually let him go anywhere and end up pinned, fingers in a tight grip around your wrists that you pretend to fight against. Soonyoung knows you like to be reminded of his strength on occasion; whether thats fucking your mouth until your throat burns or bending you over. This potentially being one since he’s had a hard day and you’re hungover from making him feel better about it. 

He tongues across your pulse until you go pliant against the pillows, legs spread to cradle his hips. A shuffle of clothes and a lift of your hips and he’d be inside you. There's more steps; a condom, a little fingering because his dick was made to stretch your limits. Your legs shake already, desperate for quick fuck so you can passout while Soonyoung cleans you up. 

But his new mood means he’s making up for lost time. Presently, that's bunching your shirt up to your chin and tracing each inch of newly uncovered skin with his tongue.

“Hellooooo ladies,” he sighs, nose buried between your breasts.

“God, you’re lame.”

“Be nice to me, I had a hard day,” he pouts, releasing your hands in favor of plucking at your chest until you sigh in delight.

“I’m literally letting you—hmmm— see my boobs after you said that corny shit. How much nicer can I be?”

He doesn’t answer, choosing to coax a low groan out of your chest with passes of his mouth until you're kicking the sheets. The good kind of sting that ruts your hips against his thigh and makes you dizzy. There will be a permanent wet patch if he doesn’t give you relief soon.

“I have a few ideas.”

“Like what?” You twitch at the thoughts running rampant. Short of donning that pirate hat mentioned earlier, anything he suggests is guaranteed to make you feel better too. 

“Can show you better than I can tell you,” he bites into your nipple, sucking it to a stiff peak for his fingers to pinch before shifting focus to the other. 

“If you try and put your dick in my ass I’ll rip it off.” The words are breathy off your lips. No real threat because he might be able to talk you into the idea if you let him. If he keeps pulling your strings the way he’s learned how. 

But Soonyoung has different ideas, pulling off your nipple with a rough suck, curling your shoulders in. “That was one time and it was an accident!”

“Let me slip a finger in next time I blow you and tell me how you like it.”

“You have and I do. Keep talking about it and I’m gonna need another shower.”

“God, you’re a freak.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He takes the initiative to roll you on top, palms massaging your ass while enjoying the view of you naked in his lap. 

A sudden moment of vulnerability roots in your chest, warmed by the set of brown eyes peering up at you. “You know I don’t just come here for this, right?” 

Soonyoung’s eyebrows twist for a moment and then soften. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not ready for anything deeper. The air is already thicker with the weight of that confession, suffocating. In an effort not to drown in it, you drop your chest flat to his, latching onto the jut of his collarbone. “Is this your big idea? Me on top? Not very original.”

A hand at your ass drags you along his covered cock, already begging for attention. It’s not original but you’ll dry hump him into the mattress until your bones are jelly if he wants. 

“Sit on my face.”

It’s your turn to pull back. “What?”

“Sit. On. My. Face.” His hand is already firm against your thighs, forcing you halfway up his chest before you can argue.

“I heard you the first time, just confused how that's supposed to make you feel better.”

“You underestimate the power of your pussy. Now get up here.” 

The shuffle up is less than sexy. Soonyoung is eager from your permission, rushing you up to his mouth until you nearly knee him in the head.

“Wait,” you say. 

Soonyoung locks his arms as you move off him, reflexive because he lets go a second later. Turning, you eye the tent in his pants as you kneel back down. Perfect position to touch him while he touches you.

“Oh, fuck,” he grunts, fingers tracing through your wetness despite the horrible angle.

You don’t get a chance to orient yourself. He’s already quick to work with teasing passes of his tongue that turn bolder every second. 

“Jesus Christ, give me a second to get your dick out.”

But he doesn’t; too consumed with tasting all you have to offer, wringing you out to dry the second he gets a chance. The flat of his tongue laps up your arousal like it’s more vital than oxygen. There's a wet mess smeared between your thighs from the vigor. 

It takes all your focus to force down his pants, mouth watering at the shiny head of his cock straining from some heavy petting. You keep steady with one hand, jerking him off into your mouth with the other. Soonyoung malfunctions between your thighs as you swallow his cock, a moan right to your clit makes you fumble that last inch into your mouth.

He chokes you with a buck up but you take it in stride. Sucking harder, lashing against the slit until he whimpers. Normally, you’d exaggerate the wet noises at the back of your throat but with the crude dig of his tongue in your entrance there's no need. 

“God,” you warble into his crotch. You arch back into his face, Soonyoung’s fingers digging into the meat of your ass, spreading you out like a full course meal.

In theory it’s hot. Your cunt on his face and his cock in your throat, rutting against each other until you're numb and twitching and covered in each other's mess. In practicality, there is nothing Soonyoung is more relentlessly dedicated to than eating you out until your vision turns white and you have to force him away or risk passing out. It only takes a few minutes before you’re forced to tap out, panting into his thigh and weakly fisting his length with no regard for the mess sticking between your knuckles, as he fucks you along his tongue.

“Gonna come, oh–fuck,” you choke. You want him to come too, in your mouth, on your face if that's what he wants. But by some glitch in the universe, Soonyoung is able to hold back and you’re the one racing to the finish first. “Oh my god, Soonyoung, fuck.”

You jerk him off, grip tight despite the slick mess of spit and pre-cum. It doesn’t help that ever squeeze at the swollen head sends a moan straight into your clit, forcing you hips to rut desperately. 

“Don’t stop. Just, shit – need a little more—”

You pull one his hands away to take over your short strokes, spitting into his palm and squeezing until he figures out what you want; to watch him touch himself while eating you out. The contrast of his fingers tangled between your own, both glistening because Soonyoung is just as close as you are, gets you there.

“Close.” Thighs locked, you suffocate him but Soonyoung doesn’t complain. A palm at the base of your spine forces you down when you shy away from the edge. “Oh, oh, oh!”

A sting of your nails into his thigh is all the warning either of you get. Back arched tight, eyes clenched, you shudder through it. Soonyoung doesn’t stop, sucking away the fresh wave of arousal, tongue verging on punishing against your clit as you sink.

“Okay, that's enough—god,” your voice breaks. “Enough.”

You fall to the side, face first into the covers without effort to soften the blow. The lower half of your body is numb but you can feel his hand skating up the back of your calf.

“Good?” he asks, all too aware of the issue; the smirk is clear in his tone, happy to see you strung out from a few minutes on his mouth.

“Shut up,” you warn but the bite isn’t in it. The urge to kick him in the head is there but none of the energy. 

“Are you tapping out on me or…?” 

The sound of the drawer pauses in case you say no but the idea of not feeling him inside you sounds like the worst thing you’ve ever heard.

“You’re not that good,” you mumble into the blanket. “Fuck me like this, you promised you’d do all the work. Remember?”

“Like this?” he hums, rubbing the head of his cock back through the mess with admiration. 

He obeys with a wet kiss to your shoulder, parting your legs and sliding between without a word. You soak in the stretch, ass arched into his hips to take it all. The cold bites down your back when Soonyoung leans back to watch.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he whines. “Shit.” 

He drives into you with a bruising pace, betrayed by his own need to come after having you on his mouth without a tease of relief. You arch into it, the head of his cock dragging deep inside pushing disgusting noises from your lips you pray his roommates aren’t around to hear.

“Spank me.”

He loses it for a second. A rough thrust pushing you down the bed and he scrambles to follow. “Seriously?” 

“Do it,” you bark. 

The first strike is weak. More of a firm caress than the sting you crave; hesitant to push for too much too fast lest you take away any privilege he has.

“Harder.”

The next impact comes hard enough to burn an outline of his hand. And another one that makes your tongue feel too big for your own mouth.

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” you whine. “More.”

Arms pinned beneath your torso, all you can do is lay there and take it. Nerves gone, he spanks you like it’s second nature. Like he’s thought about it before.

“Good?” he asks. Sounds more like a beg for validation. That he’s the one driving you crazy, molding your insides to his cock until it’s all you can think about.

“So good, f–fuck me so good.”

“Yeah?” he breathes against your neck, a hand wedging beneath your hips to drag against your clit in messy strokes. “You’re so hot, fuck.”

There will be a bruise to hide come morning but you can’t care. The slap of his hips against your ass, the flame of his hand still lingering on your ass, his cock drilling your insides; there's no room for anything but Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung.

You arch your back to feel him deeper only to have him pull out completely on the next stroke.

“No!” you protest, racing to keep him inside. 

It’s no use, Soonyoung flips you on your back before you can convince him otherwise. He hooks your knees over his elbows, spreading you wide and driving home in one smooth push with his teeth at your neck.

“Gonna come,” he begs, voice weak. You know his game, what makes him tick and come so hard he goes blind.

“Not yet,” you warn. A rough twist in his hair only works against his thinning resolve and that's exactly why you pull harder until his hips kick into a jilted rhythm.

“I can’t – please – I can’t—”

“Not yet,” you gasp. He’s deep, right in the back of your throat making you foggy. “Be a g–good boy and wait until I tell you.”

Hips frantic, voice cracking, he tries to hold off; knows it's better when you tell him exactly what to do. Makes him choke into your chest.“Fuck, fuck!” 

“Tell me how bad you want it. How much you love this pussy.”

“Love it, love your pussy.” He folds in half on top of you, desperate. Every drive of his cock into your center forcing your own desperate noises out. “Please let me come for you.”

“Look at me,” you demand. The command in your voice is paper thin but you're both too lost. His eyes are glassy, frantic to do whatever you ask if it means he can come. “Beg for it.”

“P–please,” he whimpers through gritted teeth. “Please let me come. Need it, wanna come. Please. Please!”

He’s too good to edge. Perfectly pliant to any demand and it makes you want to give him whatever he wants. “Give it to me. Fuck me through it. Let me feel you come for me.”

He latches onto your breast, sucking your nipple as his hips turn sloppy. The squeak of mattress springs are a sound track to his end. You won’t come again but you don’t need to. Satiated with the choked whimpers of your name as he swells against your walls, forcing himself as deep as possible like he’s fucking you raw and full of his cum.

Maybe someday you’ll let him.

Your hips are sore from being forced in half so long but you won’t move away until Soonyoung comes back down. Less from your own will power, more because you’re running on fumes and might fall asleep with him still inside you. He gives a few more pathetic twitches and then goes slack.

“Oh my god,” he groans. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Welcome to the club,” 

With the grand finale complete, your aching muscles give out completely. You can’t even laugh when one of his hands moves to check your pulse.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung gasps. “I killed you with my dick.”

“You didn’t kill me.” You slap away his hand weakly. Without distraction, the stickiness of your skin from sweat in the worst places settles in but it’s a problem for later.

“A man can dream,” he says wistfully.

“Of homicide by cock?”

“Of dick game strong enough to murder someone.”

He rubs his nose along yours, breathes mingling in a lazy kiss as exhaustion creeps over your both. 

“Your face smells like pussy.” You slouch into the mattress, deadweight while taking all of his like the perfect blanket.

He kisses you again, tongue teasing at your lips until you give the very real threat of teeth against it and he backs away. “Your mouth tastes like cock so I guess we’re even. C'mon we need to shower again.”

“Nooooooo,” you grumble, clinging to him in an effort to delay the chill waiting to invade between you.

“At least let me get a rag.”

Your legs tighten around his waist, locked at the ankle for dramatic effect. “If you pull out I’ll cry.”

“Words every man wants to hear,” he hums into your cheek with a kiss. “But my dick is sore and we both need to sleep.”

“Fine.”

When he pulls away you feel empty; devastatingly so. But you don’t ask him to comeback. Just pout at the loss and revel in placating pampering you receive in return.

He goes through the steps with familiarity. Wiping away the mess between your legs, tossing your shirt back up from the floor but you forgo it, choosing to sleep naked much to Soonyoung’s delight.

You use his chest as a pillow, curled into his side and tucked under his chin. The steady beat of his heart lulls you off. The last thing you register, on the hazy perimeter at the edge of sleep, is his fingers at your cheek and the ghost of a kiss on your forehead.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes

@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos

@seungkw1 @horanghaezone @jespecially @gyuwoosbabie @dinossaurz

@wonustars

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[highvern]

Casual

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

warnings:  toxic relationship dynamics, alcohol consumption, avoidant attachment, hoshi cries, sex but nothing graphic

Length: ~ 3.8k

Note: the ending is inspired by this post. happy bday to my boo, legally its still your bday in california. sorry i made you cry. thank u @wonustars for sitting through the dumpster fire this was

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Talk [a, f, s], Mine [s], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

In the past few weeks, something has been different between you and your fuck buddy.

He’s always been relatively excitable, thrilled by life and happy to be wherever you are. But there’s more smiling,  more touching, and more moments that feel like maybe you’re in a relationship you didn’t sign up for because now every time you see him it doesn’t automatically devolve into humping each other until your eyes cross and limbs go numb. 

Tonight is a prime example.

You happen to end up at the same bar (after he told you where he’d be with the optimism you’d show up, because you typically do). It’s early in the night, when pretending not to realize the other is just a few feet away on the opposite side of the room is still appropriate. Or you pretend while Soonyoung not so subtly follows your every move for the right moment to approach. 

You like to act as if it's a coincidence you’d even show up in the first place and that you aren’t wrapped around his finger. Soonyoung, ever indulgent, lets you. He realized after repeated brush-offs that you have to come to him. And you will in your own time; like a cat that will let you look but not touch until it decides to. Make that decision too soon and he’ll end up covered in scratches and alone. 

Your friends aren’t dumb to the charade. They know how you and Soonyoung work despite how overly complex you make it. They don’t push to ask questions, preferring to silently observe the back and forth when you two happen to be in public. Like they’re watching a nature documentary. Maybe they think they’re being subtle when they point out he’s sitting a few tables away or how they spotted him on the way back from the restroom with invisible question marks over their heads blaring ‘so what are you guys?’ 

There isn’t an answer. You and Soonyoung fuck. Sometimes you don’t; like when you were sick or when it's two in the morning and he swears he sleeps better when you’re there. Occasionally, when you feel extra generous, you let him take you out in public and hold your hand. Other times you pretend not to know he’s got his eyes on you from the moment you arrive at a party and go home alone with a handful of missed calls.

It’s…complicated.

So you sit at a table tucked in the corner and stir at the diluted contents of your drink while pointedly avoiding looking to your left where you know a pair of eager brown eyes are waiting to greet you.

“How long do we have to sit here until you go and talk to your lover boy?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You dismiss the very thought that anyone else is privy to the imaginary game of chess you’re playing against no one but yourself.

“Oh, really?” Lily snorts. “Because he’s been moony-eyed for the past twenty minutes and—”

“Shut up,” you snarl. 

You're under the microscope and there's nowhere to hide. Not at this table at least.

“Would it be so bad if you guys just dated? He likes you and you obviously—”

The end of that sentence rattles in your brain even as you stomp away, parting the crowd loitering at the ball. You scold the moments of weakness that make it obvious. 

It takes all your patience not to bodycheck the people stumbling in your way. Everyone’s packed in tight like sardines, at the mercy of the tide of bodies flowing to and fro. A brief part in the sea gets you to the counter. You barely take a breath before a familiar presence hovers at your shoulder.

“Come here often?” Soonyoung calls in your ear. The warmth of his breath sends shivers down your spine, goosebumps blooming despite the heat.

“Is that the best you can do?” You tease, finding his gaze. “Really?”

He’s warm at your amusement, eyes bright with his own humor or maybe it's the shots you watched Seokmin coax him into from the corner of your eye as you walked through the door. “How about, let me buy your next drink?”

“See if you lead with that I think you’ll be much more successful.”

He snorts before flagging down a bartender and reciting both your orders. The last thing he needs right now is more booze but if things go as planned, he’ll be too distracted to even notice you sipping on the cup meant for him.

 The hand at the base of your spine is calming even in the chaos of the bar, his effort to keep you close as possible like you’d go anywhere. A soothing circle of his thumb burns across the sliver of bare skin below the hem of your shirt makes the world shrink down to just you two.

An easily established routine takes over. Soonyoung crowds you in, pushing you back into one of the stools and assuming the space between your legs. The length of his body locks you firmly in place. His eyes trace your mouth as he talks. Calculating if you’ll let him kiss you or if it’s too early to ask for that just yet.

“You look good.”

“Oh?” you ask with fake innocence. You know what you look like. Short skirt, tight top. Enough skin to make him drool and think about what you’re wearing underneath. Or what you aren’t, given your track record.

“Yeah.” A complete sentence. He’s too preoccupied staring at your bare legs to provide more context. Void of an ounce of shame, he traces the curve of your thigh obscenely without a care who might see and the conclusions they’ll make. 

It’s hot. Temperature wise. Warm hands you wish would dip between your thighs and play with what’s just out of view rather than stroke at the rough hem of your skirt. But Soonyoung isn’t one for public indecency. 

At least not that indecent.

You watch him watch you. The blushed tips of his ears give away exactly what he’s thinking. The memories of you, in the back of his Jeep wearing this very skirt, bouncing on his cock like you’d die without it just last weekend. Blowing his load as you teased him with the idea of cumming inside you without a condom. If he keeps staring then you’ll have no choice but to rush him into the bathroom for a quickie. But tonight, you want him to break first.

“Are you planning to do something about or—”

Your phone is buzzing before you get the chance to finish the thought. It’s probably just your friends giving a fair warning they’re heading out now that you no longer need them to serve as cover for the real reason you’re in a shitty bar on a Friday night. But the name on the screen is one you haven’t thought about in months.

Mingyu (tinder): back in town for the night, u free? [11:34PM]

“Who’s that?” 

You bristle at his accusatory tone, locking your phone and hiding it away. Soonyoung assesses with skeptical eyes, chin jutted like you’re under examination because he decided to snoop over your shoulder.  “What? No one.”

“Doesn’t seem like no one.”

“It’s none of your business.” You shoot back. He’s starting to piss you off.

The feeling is mutual if the hutch in his shoulders is anything to go by. “Sorry I’m confused why some dude is inviting you over at midnight.”

“Well, it’s a good thing it doesn’t matter if you’re confused because you aren’t my boyfriend.” You spit. 

Soonyoung recoils like you slapped the words into his cheek. Cold air floods in between you, filling the newly abandoned space now that he’s stepping back.  

“You’re right, I’m not.” He scoffs after a beat.” Sleep with whoever you want. I’m done.”

Soonyoung leaves you standing there without a second glance, melting into the crowd while you gape. 

Fuck you, you think after the initial shock wears away. The last thing you need is Soonyoung’s permission. He may be the guy you’ve fucked exclusively for the better half of six months but he doesn’t have a monopoly on your time just because you take your clothes off for him. 

Staring at Mingyu’s message, you fire off a response before slipping off the barstool and beelining for the door.

You: send me the address [11:46PM]

The cab ride is filled with Top 40 and the echoes of city noise. A few attempts at conversation fall flat before the driver leaves you alone to stew in silence. Fuming, you stare out the window as streetlights become nothing but streaks in the darkness. Your fingers tap the annoyance out onto leather interior.

Each stop light gives you more time to think about how Soonyoung isn’t your boyfriend. He isn’t your anything. At best he’s an easy fuck that strokes your ego. And even if he asked, which he hadn’t, you don’t do relationships. Commitment isn’t a part of the deal. He takes what you give and he doesn’t complain. At least, not until now.

It’s a casual arrangement for both of your benefit. If he concocted some grandiose illusion it could ever be something more then he’d swiftly come down from that cloud. 

Stubbornness may kill you but there’s a point to prove tonight. That you can do whatever you want, whenever, with whoever you see fit. 

You don’t even realize when the car stops outside a familiar apartment building. 

Mingyu (tinder): lmk when ur outside [12:19AM]

The facade of anger starts crumbling. 

You don’t want to fuck Mingyu. His name hasn’t been at the forefront of your mind in months. None of your old flings have. Even new guys at the bar were placeholders to be ignored after Soonyoung arrived with a dumb joke and too much confidence. 

Somehow, without you realizing, months flew by without an ounce of interest for any guy other than the one you abandoned in a bar. The one guy you’re pretty sure would give you the moon if you asked.

And you screwed it all up to prove a point.

“Sorry, I gave you the wrong address. Can you actually take me to…” you ramble, typing out your final response to someone who you should’ve left firmly in the past.

You: i cant [12:25AM]

After the message goes through, blocking Mingyu’s number is easier than you’d like to admit.

—

The clock ticks closer to the time for early rises to begin rousing when you start losing hope. The carpet outside Soonyoung’s apartment is disgusting but after the first hour, you braved sitting down over the worsening blisters from an impractical shoe choice. Butt numb and phone battery in the single digits, you search for the courage to commute back across town with a bruised ego.

In all the time you’ve spent on the hard ground, not one of his roommates has come home. 

He isn’t aware of your sudden change of heart so there's no reason he’d come rushing home. As far as he’s concerned you're bent in half in some old flames bed without a care for his feelings. Maybe this is how you punish yourself for pretending you’re capable of something like that. Pretending Soonyoung’s feelings haven’t flown to the top of your priorities since that fateful night in his room. Every time you go to his contact the wave of guilt threatens to crush you.

It’s another fifteen minutes before Soonyoung stumbles down the hallway. Alone. 

Even from a distance, evidence of the night after your departure is plain to see. His eyes are glassy and the stench of bar floor rolls off him. Soonyoung is a sentimental drunk but knowing you’re the reason for such a sorry state makes you want to sprint out the door into oncoming traffic.

You feel pathetic and small but he doesn’t even seem to realize you're sitting there as he trips over your legs with a mumbled ‘scuse me,’ which only makes that hole in your chest grow. But you can’t find a word to say. Not with the disappointment clear on his face. 

Disappointment because you were stubbornly refusing to let him in.

It was a mistake. Coming here, leaving the bar, going to the bar, pretending you could do any of this in the first place. Maybe if you stay still he won’t notice you and you can disappear forever once he’s inside. 

But whoever runs things has a vested interest in your love life.

Soonyoung drops his keys after failing to get them in the lock for the nth time. They bounce off the ground and skitter the few inches away where you mourn, gleaming next to your bare thigh. He finally seems to take notice of your presence.

“You’re here?” He teeters, bending at the waist to snatch up his keys and almost ends up head first through the wall. You take mercy and hand them to him instead.

He’s looking straight through you. To the parts you hide beneath snide comments and brush offs, the side that claims none of this is that serious. That he shouldn’t expect anything, that a relationship is so far out of the realm of

“I blocked his number.”

He freezes at the confession, tense around the shoulders like he isn’t even breathing.

It's all too much.

You rock up onto your feet, unbalanced as blood flow is restored to the lower half of your body. You’ve got to get out of here. Somewhere else, anywhere else. Where he isn’t looking at you like that. Halfway down the hall is where you finally hear him speak again.

“Really?” Soonyoung asks, voice flooded with disbelief and maybe something like wonder.

You don’t bother to turn around before answering. “Don’t make it weird.”

More silence. Your shuddering breath and his footsteps fill the hallway. He’s at your back, a hand ghosting along your elbow. “How long have you been here?”

You really don’t want to answer but he needs to hear it. He needs to hear how much you care. Even if it’s scary. 

“Since I left the bar.”

“Don’t leave,” he beckons. 

It sounds like a thank you. Thank you for… not fucking some guy when you could’ve? Thank you for picking him even if you can’t say it out loud? He knows it's a lot, even drunk out of his mind. One day you’ll have to tell him you’d pick him over anything but tonight carries more than you can handle already.

Your hand finds his. A tight grip, sweaty palms not even a consideration because the contact lifts some of the invisible weight off your shoulders.

He ushers you inside, down the hall to his room. In the silent darkness of the apartment, his hands stay on you. Like if for even a second you two aren’t touching you’ll float away. Fingers laced tight as you shyly shuffle behind him.

Your clothes fall to the ground. Not in the rushed heat of usual encounters, but in a desperate need to feel one another: skin on skin. 

Naked in bed, you stake claim to his lap, lost against what comes next. This is usually the easiest part. You know how sex works. But his mouth burns along your palm, savoring the warmth with a long kiss that scratches at your throat. You shake, breath stuttering. Another kiss to your palm, lips gliding across your wrist, your elbow, the curve of your shoulder. Each webs another crack.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper as the dam begins to break.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, voice shaking. 

“You thought I didn’t pick you,” you whimper again, tears welling because you’re embarrassed. Both from how you acted and how you’re crying in the first place. But it feels cathartic. Letting him see the parts no one else gets to witness. 

“A-and I let you.”

“You’re here now. That’s all I care about.”

Somehow he manages to pull you into a tighter hold, crushing your ribs but you don’t need oxygen. You need Soonyoung. You settle in the cradle of his thighs, legs wrapped around his waist and arms locked across his shoulder.

He doesn’t offer a joke to cut the tension. He doesn’t try to play a simpering fool just to see you smile. Soonyoung tangles you in his arms and doesn’t ease up even when you wiggle for more comfort.

When you kiss him, he kisses back. Your mouth opens when he nudges his tongue at the seam of your lips. Arching into his palms at the curve of your spine, you moan as he flips you over and dips under the covers. Your thighs will be bruised come morning but it’s a welcome thought because that means there’s proof of Soonyoung’s claim on you; one you’ve been too stubborn to acknowledge. 

Each stroke of his tongue is another nail in the coffin. Vibrations cue you in that he’s speaking but all you can make out is the break of Soonyoung’s voice when he chants ‘mine,’ into your skin. You refuse to let go of his hand the entire time, while you writhe and shake, brain melting until you shatter with a cry. His fingers stayed interlocked on top of your stomach as your nails bite crescents into the skin. Another reminder that will fade but you look good on him for right now. It’s enough for right now.

His mouth tastes of you when you finally coax him back into another kiss. You lick across his tongue like you could suck away his breath if you tried. 

You fuck him like that. Back in his lap, chest to chest, panting into each other’s mouth in a crude kiss because even an inch of space between your bodies is too much. Not because either of you are horny and need release. It’s a different type of sex you’ve never been familiar with. Closer. Needier.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper again.

“Don’t—fuck—don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” He doesn’t sound sure of it. Maybe you’ll have to talk about what this means later, without the safety of a dark room.

The next apology dies at the tip of your tongue. Focused on nothing but the swell between your thighs, his fingers strumming you into another orgasm you’re unprepared for.

“Soonyoung.” You vibrate into the next wave, pinching tight at his shoulders until his lips find your neck.

You cradle his face between your palms, kissing away whatever worries linger. He doesn't say anything as he spills into the condom; silently refusing let go for what feels like hours, catching your breaths until he slouches back into the mattress and your weight follows.

“I didn’t mean it,” you confess. Your fingers busy etching across the jut muscle along his neck, something to take the focus off how awful you feel.

“Okay…” Soonyoung traces the dip between your shoulder blades; a simple touch leaving you on edge. “What did you mean then?”

“I don’t want…that.” 

“Want what?” His fingers flex. There’s an unusual level of patience from him tonight but rather than annoyance, you’re thankful. You wouldn’t say half the things you should if Soonyoung wasn’t here to ask for them.

“To sleep with other guys.” It’s half of the truth. The more important half, the part lodged in your throat and refusing to come out, is that you don’t want to lose him. And you’ll do what it takes not to let that happen. But you don’t elaborate on that thought.

“Good.” He smiles against your temple. “I don’t want to sleep with other guys either.”

A weak joke but it’s a start back towards normal. Soonyoung might just understand these feelings more than you think. Thank God someone does.

You both pretend to fall asleep after that, silently lingering in the liminal space between dreams and consciousness. Your cheek on his chest, the beat of his heart lulling your own down from an anxious rush. His arms a cocoon from whatever waits on the other side of daylight for you two to figure out.

Together.

Strips of sun slowly brighten between the slats of the blinds. A signal that it’s time to test whatever happened in the last few hours under the daylight.

“Wanna get breakfast?” Soonyoung asks, trailing gentle pecks across your bare shoulder.

“Waffles sound good.”

“Waffles it is.”

In the bright lights of the diner, your head throbs. Half from the hangover threatening to tie your stomach in knots and the other half from crying. Your eyes are still puffy, throat sore from such an emotional display in the privacy of Soonyoung’s room.

Soonyoung sits across the table, fingers tangled with yours on top for everyone to see. A proud declaration you fight not to shy away from. Even as he digs into his food he doesn’t stop tracing the back of your thumb with his own. Second nature. You should let him do it more often. It’s a nice feeling.

Seeing couples constantly touching in public before was something you watched with disgust. Except now you get it. Because despite the rational knowledge that you’d certainly be fine if he let go, there's also the feeling that you’d dissolve in the wind if he even considered the idea.

You’ve picked apart your plate, remains of decimated waffles and eggs pushed across the booth for his consumption. Soonyoung fumbles with the shaker and douses the scrambled yellows in mountainous trails of salt. He glances up at you, cheeks rounded in shock like you’d be able to help him. Biting back a conspiratory smile, you start shoveling the mess into a napkin.

Soonyoung stares, silent as you impale a slice of strawberry on the end of your fork and pop it into your mouth. It’s salty too but you wash it away with a swig of cheap coffee.

“What?” you ask. 

He answers with a peck to the back of your hand, diving into the more edible scraps that escaped his mess as if none of it happened in the first place.

In a sudden moment of clarity, a longing rooted deep in your chest rears its head. You don’t know what love feels like but maybe this is the start of it.

Sitting in a shitty dinner, wearing his clothes, while Soonyoung laughs at some joke you don’t catch because you’re too busy trying to find your breath. It’s good though. Exciting.

But the moment passes with a beat of your heart. It’s just you and him. He’s your something, you the same for him.

And that’s enough right now.

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