#l lawleit x reader

[jumexju]

LAVENDER KISS

Pairing !! : L / Reader

Fic Type !! : Comfort / Fluff / Oneshot

CW !! : Mentions of depression (PDD), severe depressive episodes to the point of it being debilitating, reader is described to have curly hair

Summary !! : L is surprisingly good at taking care of you.

Note !! : This is highly self indulgent.

✦ MASTERLIST

There were times when you weren’t alright. Times in which the nights felt better than days, the isolation of your apartment better than socializing with people & when the cold breeze felt better than the warm rays of sun on your skin. It wasn't that you preferred to feel so.. empty. No one truly wants that for themselves. But nonetheless, it was something you’d dealt with since your adolescence. You couldn't control it.. Or maybe you’d just given up. In a way, it’d become a comfort to you. A sort of warm blanket that was forcibly wrapped around you every few weeks.  

You always knew when a specifically bad episode was about to happen. 

You started off your day with a cup of coffee. Or, well, you would have if you hadn’t had trouble getting out of bed in the first place. You peeled the blanket off of your skin, exposing yourself to, what you felt, was the biting cold of your apartment. Trudging through your empty, dimly-lit apartment, you tiredly brushed your teeth and made yourself a cup of coffee afterwards. You didn’t even drink half of it before deciding to go back to bed. Maybe if you slept through it, it’d get better. 

But you knew better than to lie to yourself. 

It was 8 PM when you awoke to the sounds of the door opening. Your brows furrowed as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You hadn’t invited anyone over.. And you were the only one with a key to your apartment besides.. Oh. You got up from your bed and walked to where you heard the sounds of his presence. Leaning on the wall, you smiled a little as you gazed upon his hunched frame. He was still taller than you despite his posture, which he found to be amusing. 

“Did you solve the case?” Your soothing voice ricocheted off the walls of your apartment. The soft sounds pleasing to his ears. He wasn’t an emotional man but he could admit that he missed you. Though.. You looked more tired than you usually did. He wondered why that was. 

“Yes.. It was particularly easy unfortunately. Did I come at a bad time?” His calm tone brought you a sense of comfort. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him too.  

“No, no.. I was just sleeping but,” you chuckled nervously as you yawned, “I’ve basically slept the whole day away, So..” His wide eyes narrowed at your seemingly worn-out figure. Were you not sleeping enough? 

“Are you okay?” He was never the type to sugarcoat things. 

But then again, neither were you. “No, ..I’m depressed.” You reluctantly admitted it but you knew he wouldn’t judge you. He dealt with it too.. Maybe that’s why you two worked so well together. 

You didn’t know how — or when — he’d gotten so close, but you weren’t fighting it. In fact, you desperately wanted his warmth. The feeling of knowing that someone knew what you were going through and validated you was priceless. You appreciated him greatly, you just hoped he knew it too. L wrapped his arms around your neck in a comforting gesture, you inhaled the scent of lavender that he carried as you brought your arms up and hugged him back. Whenever you two hugged, it was never just a hug. It felt like nothing else mattered when he had his arms around you, in the same way, everything melted away whenever he had you in his arms. Though he could never express his feelings clearly, he knew that you would understand. You always did. 

“Have you showered yet?” He asked you as he played with your frizzy curls. You hadn’t had the energy to shower in a week.. It was embarrassing and you felt guilty about it. But whenever you thought about showering, all you could do was sigh. It all felt like a huge chore to do. Especially with your curly hair, just thinking about the sectioning, the detangling, the creams, the diffusing.. Lord. You just didn't want to think about it. You didn’t want to lie to him — he would find out the truth anyway — so you shamefully nodded. 

“That’s ok. I’ll start a warm bath for you.” L usually didn’t spend his time doing such trivial things, he was the World's Greatest Detective after all! He should be solving cases and serving justice, yet instead he was here. With you. Taking care of you. 

You couldn’t be more grateful for him. 

“..Thank you.” You meekly said as you looked up at him, his softened dark eyes gazing at you. He didn’t say anything else, just gave you a kiss on your forehead and told you to go get your towel while he started the bath. 

The sound of your soft humming matched the quiet jazz that played in the background as you let L detangle your hair for you after he divided it into sections. He was familiar with the routine both because he had seen you do it multiple times and because he did his own research on it. Unsurprisingly, he was great at it. His pale fingers were meticulously gentle as they worked to get the tangles out of your hair. 

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” He carefully asked as he unclipped another section of hair and began detangling it. 

“No, you’re good.” You smiled to yourself as you felt him take his time combing through your curls. “You’re actually really good at this y’know.. Thank you.” 

He smiled a little, “Your hair smells nice.” 

“Yeah? It smells like you.” You played around with the water, your knees pressed up against your chest as he took care of you. 

“I have a smell?” He snickered. 

You watched as the water from your hands poured back into the body of water in the tub, “Yeah. Lavender.” 

“Did you know that lavender soothes anxiety and depression?” 

You chuckled, “I didn’t know that,” You turned to look at him, “Is that why you wear it?” 

“Mmm.. No, it’s just a benefit.” He planted a kiss on your nose, you scrunched it in reaction to it before turning your back to him again. 

“Either way, I like how it smells. It reminds me of you.” L smiled as he heard your words. 

“Are you feeling better?” 

You nodded lightly, “Now that you’re here, yeah.” 

After shampooing and conditioning your hair, he helped you scrub your body to get you all clean. It was the first time he’d ever seen you naked, but it didn’t feel sexual at all. He didn’t make comments on your body or make you feel awkward in any way — in fact he made you feel seen. 

And not at all in a bad way.  

That was when you realized the difference between a man that respected you and a man that only saw you as an object. He loved you and he’d shown it many times, but he was still respectful of you — even after 2 years. Hell, he still asked if it was alright when he kissed you. 

It was one of the things that you loved about him. 

He wrapped your towel around you and helped you dry off. “These are the creams you use, right?” He asked as he took out two containers & a bottle of light-weight liquid gel. 

“Yeah, this one, too.” You handed him the bottle of mousse and continued to dry yourself off. He took the lid off of the containers and began to work his magic after sectioning your hair off again to make sure that the product was evenly spread throughout your hair. His gentle hands wasted no time in getting themselves sticky with cream as he did your hair for you, maybe acts of service was one of his love languages? 

You didn’t know, all you knew was that it was strangely domestic for the two of you to be doing this. But it wasn’t unwelcomed. It was a simple gesture, him helping you shower and do your hair.. It was simple. Maybe.. “..Why are you doing all of this for me?” 

“..Does there need to be a reason?” He was rather quick with his response. But you knew that L never did anything without a reason, hardly any of his actions were without one. You decided to tell him so. “You’re telling me there wasn’t a reason..? You just wanted to help?” You sounded surprised. And rightly so. 

Because L didn’t do trivial things like this, you noted again. L didn’t just visit his lover just to have to take care of them. L wouldn't go this far for his partner.

But.. “Is that unreasonable?” he asked you. “I empathize with your situation.. And you’re dear to me, I do not want to see you go through it by yourself.” ..Maybe he really did do trivial things like this.. Or maybe they weren’t so trivial to him in the first place. 

“..Oh.” you felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you combed and scrunched your curls. You never would have believed that he’d do this if he wasn’t behind you doing just that. 

“Have you eaten?” He asked as the soft jazz played in the living room of your apartment, he decided to make a calm environment while he helped you bathe and figured it’d please you if you had music as background noise. He truly was a sweetheart, more than you initially gave him credit for. 

“Not yet, I spent the whole day sleeping..” As if on cue, your stomach began to grumble.  “Do you have anything you’re craving? I can have Watari bring something over.” He offered to you as his skilled hands carded through the last section and scrunched it up. 

“I don’t want anything heavy so.. Can we get chocolate cheesecake?” You looked at your hair in the mirror, admiring his skills. 

“Yeah of course. Is that it?” He asked. 

“Mhm.” you answered with a warm tone to your voice. Him doing all this for you didn’t cure you from your debilitating episode of depression, but it lifted your spirits. He got the hairdryer out of the cabinet you had it in after calling Watari and telling him to bring over some cheesecake. You handed him the diffuser attachment and he snapped it on. “It should be on medium heat,” You told him before sitting back on the lid of the toilet to make it easier for him to dry your hair. 

It was nice having him care for you, you had to admit. 

After he had finished with your hair. The both of you indulged in that chocolate cheesecake you wanted, he had surprised you with macarons too since he knew how much you liked them. One of the things you two had in common was your sweet tooth, though his was stronger than yours. That’s why you accompanied your cheesecake with a cup of milk instead of a too-sweet coffee like he did. 

Now, you laid in bed with him at your side. Your arm loosely splayed across his torso while he laid on his back with his arm under your neck, basically keeping you at his side. “..Thank you for coming today.” You told him softly, the moonlight seeping in through your window. “I really needed it..- no, you.” 

“Why didn’t you ask me to come over sooner, ____?” he asked you. His black eyes gazed upon you with only warmth and care in them. 

“..I didn’t want to bother you.” You almost whispered it, but it was true. You knew he was busy. And you knew you’d get better soon anyway by yourself so what was the harm? “Did you really want to know?” 

“Yes.” He answered without hesitation. “If you’re hurting, I would like to know. Even though I cannot take the pain away, I could be there for you.” L answered confidently. “You’re not a bother to me. I know that cases keep me busy, but I can always make time for you.” 

You swear you could almost tear up at what he was saying to you. He sounded so genuine.. It almost felt as if you would be insulting him to think that he wouldn’t want to know about your mental health. “I’ll try to let you know from now on, then..” You smiled into his white tee. 

He planted a kiss on your forehead, his fingers grazing your cheeks. “Go to sleep, you need it.”