#lab process with me literally once or twice and then id be good to go

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 111

Dinner that night was a half pepperoni half sausage pizza and a whole double cheese pizza. Harley ate more than you thought someone his size should, but then again, this whole experience was starting to really show you you may not have known anything about kids. Sure. You’d been one. Once. A long time ago. But… especially a young preteen boy… you were a little out of your depths. At least he and Tony seemed to get along well enough. It was nice. 

The two of you set him up on the couch with every movie known to man available at his fingertips (although he did complain lightly about the absence of any gaming consoles), and you tried to impress upon him that he’d be getting up early tomorrow. Just as you shut your bedroom door you heard him raiding your kitchen cabinets and putting some popcorn in the microwave. 

Wine buzz had fled some time ago, leaving you free and clear after changing into some pajamas to sit cross legged on the bed and answer some work emails. Tony must have been of the same mind, because he had one of his larger tablets open and was working away. First thing, you canceled your vacation plans. It would have been nice to move them to a later date, but you had no idea how long this was going to go on for. And rescheduling without an idea was only asking for trouble. 

The next was to send a quick email to Happy for tomorrow, just a few small pickups. Some more substantial food- kid’s cereal?- a Stark console and all the latest games. That would do for now. You hoped Harley had packed some clothes in that backpack he’d brought with him on his little hike to New York City but you’d forgotten to ask. If not… you’d just have to take him shopping. 

Pepper came next, letting her know you were no longer taking time off, asking her to un-clear your schedule, and then asking her to expedite papers for the Stark Internship program. Even if it wasn’t up and running, you could always backdate and have her rubber stamp enough documents to make things seem legit. Harley would need an ID and a badge for as long as he was staying in the Tower. That would at least legitimize this for anyone who dug into it. And… you imagined if Harley was spotted with either you or Tony (as he definitely would be), questions would come in heavy. You had to be prepared. 

You unfortunately didn’t have the proper staff for this right now… even in your sudden wealth of employees. The closest you could think of… prompted a final email to Bruce, very quickly explaining the situation. And then asking him if he would be comfortable putting together a quick and not necessarily flush syllabus- or, if not that serious, just some lab exercises that he could walk Harley through, failing anything else. 

Though you were seconds from closing your laptop and pretending you could go to bed, almost as expected, three emails pinged back in succession. Even though it was outside of work hours. This was why you loved these people. From Happy: You got it, boss. This have to do with the kid in the lobby? From Pepper: Sure thing. I imagine we’ll discuss the why in the morning. And from Bruce:  Comfortable definitely isn’t the word but I’ll do my best… 

There were about a hundred other things you could attend to but with the immediate worries put to rest for the night, you shut the lid on your laptop and set it aside on the night table. With your arms now free, you snuggled up to Tony, winding your arms around his middle and resting your head against him. He swiped a quick hand across his tablet to project what he was working on, freeing up his space a little to welcome you in further. 

Once his arm came around you, you put a hand over his chest, eyes glazing as you looked at what he was working on. Even you were surprised by how tired your voice sounded, when you finally spoke. “I have things set up for tomorrow. We’ll get Harley to Pepper for processing and… Bruce is gonna try and work on some science lab stuff for him.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” His voice came out in a low rumble, a little more focused on the schematics that were hanging in the air.

You soothed your hand up and down his chest, fingers circling the round of his tank top, touching over his skin. “In the lobby, Harley said he saved your life.”

There was an abrupt stop to his working. “Yeah.” 

“...in like a… you needed help to finish what you were doing general way? Or in a more serious way?” 

You found yourself stilling as he swiped away the holograms, settling a little bit more against the headboard. His hand then came down over yours, holding you still. “Probably both. That kid’ll take all the credit you can give him.” Laying your head against the edge of his shoulder, you cast a look up his way. Patient. Glancing at you briefly from his peripherals, his lips pressed together before a sigh escaped. 

His hand held yours a little tighter, as his gaze went forward and foggy. Reliving as much as he was remembering. 

“One of those soldiers took down a water tower. A kid- funny enough, apparently… kid that was bullying Harley- EJ was his name… got caught up and drowned. Heart wasn’t beating right, he wasn’t breathing. So I took the Arc out of my chest to give him a jolt. Soon as he coughed up water, I started seizing. Harley yanked the Arc out of my hands and shoved it back in my chest.” 

A little shiver crept over your skin. Slowly, without really thinking, the tips of your fingers started to trace the white scar across his chest. Tony had literally, without thinking, put his life in serious jeopardy for a kid that, by all accounts, sounded like he didn’t even know. Maybe he felt responsible- ...scratch that. He definitely felt responsible, but… 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” 

You felt his shoulders shrug beneath you. “Part of the job, isn’t it? Almost dying? Besides, we had a million other things going on. Never seemed like a good time to bring it up. Hey, honey, so while I was in Tennessee- you remember, that time you got kidnapped and almost died? Funny story...” He breathed out a long sigh, taking hold of your hand, lifting it to press a lingering kiss to your skin. 

What could you really say to this? There was a beat of heartache that cycled through both of you. It made sense- he’d been looking into getting the Arc removed a little before that. But after that… no wonder as soon as you were on your feet he had been ready to jump into surgery. 

He pressed your palm to his cheek, just holding you there. “You know…” Deciding you didn’t want to drown in the feeling, you waited until he hummed a noise of question to continue. “You promised me. At least twice. That you wouldn’t go dying on me.” 

There was a twitch of a grin on his lips. “So far so good. Haven’t broken it.” 

“Let’s keep it that way.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

                                                      ----

As usual with most evenings the two of you went to bed together, he got up before you- and before the sun rose, too. Up to do Tony things, you supposed. Science, work. Either or both. He left with a quiet kiss at your temple, a tug of the covers a little more over your shoulders, and a quiet close of the door. Sleep was a luxury now, it kind of always had been, but with the lifestyle you were running, more now than ever. It was why even though he was more apt of the two of you to get up first, you never stayed asleep for that much longer. 

It was an hour later at sunrise that you got up and took a shower. There were kitchen sounds happening, you realized, once you got out- and it reminded you that the two of you had a guest. So while you might have otherwise left your bedroom in a towel or a robe (or maybe sometimes nothing at all, it was your penthouse, who could judge), now you had to actually get ready before leaving the master bedroom. At least it served to set your mind up for the day. 

Ready to face the morning, albeit with damp hair, you exited the bedroom. Harley was dead asleep on the couch- passed out after what seemed to be a long evening of binge watching TV, eating multiple bags of popcorn, and filling up on juice. You considered yourself as lucky as you did smart that you hadn’t sent him downstairs to the Avengers’ living space. Their kitchen was a little more terrible for a child to wreak havoc in. 

A blanket was pulled up over him, Dvahli belly up in the crook of his arm, snoozing away. It put your mind at ease, a little. If he made friends with the cat… maybe he wasn’t so bad. 

Tony was humming away in the kitchen when you got there, all dressed in black casual, sleeves rolled up, white dish towel draped over his shoulder. You sneaked up behind him, winding your arms around his middle and snuggling your face into his back. He smelled that nice spice and earthy way he always did. “Morning…” 

You felt him put a hand over your arms. “Good morning. What’s on your to-do list today?” Asked quietly, almost drowned up by the sound of something sizzling away in the frying pan in front of him. 

“A million things.” 

“The usual.” Able to hear the grin in his voice. 

“Pepper will process Harley and I have to sign and… backdate- and then bury the backdating of the Internship program, just in case anyone looks into it.” Which was an eventuality. And even if it wasn’t, you had to treat it like one. Getting caught unaware was not something you liked. “Then I have a few meetings here and… a media meeting at NBC.” 

The sound of the stove dying intermingled with his next hum of thought, and you shifted with him as he moved to plate something- refusing to let go of him. Even if it was a little ridiculous, practically hanging on like a baby koala. “I’m all in for brand integration on cheesy sitcoms.” 

“Don’t joke, I think I saw Days of  Our Lives on the proposal list.” Snorting lighting against his shirt with another little nuzzle there before you let go finally. Shifting aside him, you moved to sit atop the counter, stealing a very hot piece of freshly cooked bacon with a satisfied crunch. 

Easing forward, he settled his hands on your hips. “Who said anything about joking? I want Stark Tech to be the reason someone comes out of their sixth coma- just in time for her to see her mother stealing her husband-” Having trouble getting the thought out as giggles leaked from you as he fantasized. “I want the logo in the shot when they say porque, Maria-!” Giving it a little gusto with a shaking fist as he delivered the line. 

Something that had you dying all the more, head shifting forward to stifle your laughter against his shoulder. “I think you’re mixing up your soaps-” 

“They’re all the same.” Sharing in the laughter with you. Maybe laughing just because you were laughing. The warmth and adoration you felt rolling off him certainly seemed to suggest so. 

He nudged your head up with a little touch of his forehead against yours, and you found his sunny gaze waiting there for you when you opened your eyes. “I love you-” Cutting himself off just as you reached up to cup the sides of his face, an action he craned back against suddenly, holding up a pointer finger between the two of you. “-however- if you slather bacon grease on my face, we might have some serious issues-” 

“Stop making your bacon so greasy, then.” Grinning but holding your hands up in the air to placate him, leaning in to steal a quick little kiss. “I love you, too.” 

When you tilted back, he chased you, laying a much stronger kiss to your lips. One you fell victim to instantly. Settling your arms over his shoulders- still palm up just in case- lifting an encouraging leg to slide up at his side to invite him in as close as you could have him. A slow brush of tongues sparked a quiet heat-

And it died immediately once the sound of exaggerated groaning bubbled up from behind the both of you. The break happened pretty quickly after that, but Tony didn’t really move away, instead half angling back to look- you peering over his shoulder, to see Harley perched on the back of the living room couch with his tongue out. Gagging. When he stopped his gurgling, “That’s disgusting. I’m right here, you know.” 

Perhaps he had a point. A small one. It wasn’t like you were about to have sex with Tony in the kitchen, thirty feet away from a sleeping child, but, all the same… Tony propped the back of his hand against his hip. “Right there- imagine- in my house-” 

“I thought last night you said it was hers.” Smart aleck’ing him right back. 

“-where you fell asleep at three in the morning in a pile of crumbs, juice puddles, and- hopefully some modicum of shame.” 

Easing off the counter you plastered a smile on your face. “Sounds like a wild night. Hopefully you didn’t overdo it. You have a lot to do today.” A jaunty little jingle of Dvahli’s collar preceded her sweet miaow as she padded her way into the kitchen. You bent down to pick her up and then put her on the counter where she could easily observe you preparing a wet can for her. 

“Me?” Harley sounded perturbed. “What do I have to do?” 

Tony turned back to the stove. “You didn’t think you could just come here and laze on our couch, did you?” 

“My assistant Pepper is going to process you for our internship program. And then Dr. Banner is going to have some stuff for you to do down in the labs.” After depositing the empty can into the recycling, you served Dvahli her breakfast. 

Harley finally left the comfort zone of the couch to come sit at the kitchen island. “Banner- like- Bruce Banner- like the Hulk right? That’s so cool.” 

Tony cracked a few eggs onto the newly fired up skillet. “You might wanna lower your expectations. Just a little.” 

You couldn’t help the little smack to his side as you crossed over to the fridge to retrieve the orange juice. “No Hulk. Just Dr. Banner.” Trying to impart that he was expected to be respectful. If he even knew the meaning of the word. 

Just as you set a fresh glass of OJ in front of him, Harley grinned up at you. “Okay but like- what if I make him mad- like really really mad-” Seeming excited at the prospect of getting to see the Hulk up close and personal. 

You smiled back at him. “I assure you, Dr. Banner is used to far more than anything you can do.” You wouldn’t have asked him if you thought he couldn’t handle it. 

Immediately trying to rectify your mistake, Tony turned half on his heel with his pointer finger raised, “Not that you should try. I’ll be around, too. I see you firing that little peanut gun of yours in my lab, I’ll ship you back to Tennessee in a box.” Warning him. 

“Peanut gun?” You couldn’t help but ask. ...trying to hide your horror. 

Harley ducked his head. “It’s a new prototype-” 

Tony turned back to the stove. “Sure thing. You came looking for more pointers. I get it.” 

“I did not.” Though you sensed this was not the whole truth of it. Harley was building tech? It wasn’t a wonder why the two of them seemed to get along. ...if this could be described as getting along. 

But this brought up a very serious question as you looked at him. “You packed that- and- what else?” 

Tony was the one to answer with half a laugh. “Light traveler. Scraps and parts.” 

You couldn’t help your frown. “No clothes?” When Harley avoided your gaze and just shrugged you held back your sigh. “Happy will take you shopping later.” 

Finished fixing a full plate, Tony came over to deposit some scrambled eggs and bacon in front of Harley, though he held the plate back just as Harley reached for it. “That’s usually when you say thank you, kid. When someone does something nice for you. Just a tip.” 

But. Really… more than that. Letting Harley know he was to respect you while he was here, in less words. You waited and while his gratitude was a low murmur of uncomfortable, “Thanks…” It would do. 

You rewarded the behavior with a warm response. “You’re welcome.” This was going to take some getting used to. Then again… you hoped you actually wouldn’t have to get used to this. 

                                                     ----

It was about two in the afternoon. You were in between four different phone calls, seven different emails, and Pepper still debriefing you about the things that were rescheduled due to your sudden going-on-vacation and then just as sudden canceling. There was an influx of people feeling like they were smarter than everyone else doing the same thing- thinking your schedule was clear so it would be the perfect time to get in. Or back in, in the case of people you’d canceled on. 

There were three different voices speaking to you as Tony came into your office quietly, a hand on Harley’s shoulder. Guilt was coming off the both of them, which was not a great sign, but you had to put a finger up to them to signal that you’d be with them shortly. One conference call ended on speaker, and two more personal calls on two separate phones down, you let Pepper finish getting your signature on a newly printed document and then turned your attention to them. “What happened?” 

“Okay, first-” Tony put his hand up. “Don’t worry. But. Also. There was a… slight chemical fire in the lab-” 

“It was huge!” Harley threw his arms up. But the dead-eyed stare you served the both of them had him shrinking back. “...and an accident.” 

Though you sensed neither of them would be so blase if it were the case otherwise, you had to ask, “Is anyone hurt?” 

Tony, thank god, shook his head. “Everyone’s fine- we just need to clear the area for a little ventilation. ...and clean up. Can you watch him for a few hours?” 

At this Harley crossed his arms pretty hard. “I don’t need watching.” 

Much as you tried to hold the sigh back, it escaped you anyway. “I’m fifteen minutes out from heading to the NBC meeting.” 

He grinned, giving Harley a pat. “Great. Kid can learn about managing a business. I figure the internship should be fully encompassing.” 

At this you really did make a face. “You figured you just exploded the lab so now you need me.” 

“I always need you.” 

God damn him. It was the warm way he said this, the gentle imploring look in his eyes… he was playing you for a fool. But. He was also right. So you made a bad attempt at hiding your smile in the middle of a pointed eye roll. “Yes. You do.” 

“I know. That’s what I just said.” Grinning lightly then. “Anyway- here- kid. Sit down. Learn something.” Ushering him to the couch. 

Harley collapsed onto it with a heavy sigh. “What’s there to learn? How to answer a phone? How to sign my name on papers?” 

Tony’s grin broadened. “Oh you do have a lot to learn. And here I thought you said you knew everything already. Must explain why my lab blew up, too.” He headed out the door, but with his hand on the handle leaned back in. “Thank you, honey.” 

And, despite him making a mess and dumping the aftermath on you, you raised your hands in that small heart shape over your chest. You weren’t mad at him for taking precaution. It was exactly the sort of thing he should be doing. It was his dazed smile that really put you in danger. Thankfully he closed the door behind himself, apparently giving Harley permission to fall onto his back on the couch- and retrieve that beat up Stark handheld console from his pocket somewhere so that he could start playing it and ignoring you. 

That was fine. You had a lot to cram into these last- now- thirteen minutes before you rushed downstairs and got into a car. It was at the final five that Pepper got to the bottom of her never-ending list. “-and about the Valentine’s Charity Gala on Friday-” 

You stood, slipping your jacket around your shoulders. “Since we already canceled, I don’t see any reason to go now. You know I can’t stand Smithfield.” As with any other ass-kisser that organized events like this. One of your least favorite people on the fucking planet.

“That’s fine- just, they put out a newsletter this morning. Not scathing but… heartbroken and disappointed over the sudden absence. Even when we put in three times the plate fee. Which, of course, they failed to mention.” 

That was incredibly annoying and you let your displeasure show with a grunt. “Fine, then. Schedule a dress and tux fitting for Wednesday afternoon. We’ll drop in quietly on the evening.” 

“Understood. Good luck at the meeting.” 

Stopping at the couch you gave the corner a little nudge and made a motion with your hand. “Come on, Harley, we have to go.” 

While he forced a tired sigh, he didn’t make any more fuss about not following. Which was great, because you didn’t have time to argue with him. Happy greeted you in the lobby and then opened the car door for you. You let Harley get in first and then got in after, going over a few pointer notes on your phone as Harley click-clacked away on the buttons of his game. 

You weren’t expecting him to speak up, but when he did you directed a glance his way. “Hey… how come you’re going to that thing. If you hate it so much.” 

It wasn’t all too shocking that he’d been listening in- that’s what he was supposed to be doing… technically, if any of what Tony had said made sense or mattered. But it still surprised you a little. “Because we have to.” 

“She said you were off the hook, right?” He didn’t understand and was trying to make sense of it. “I thought you guys never had to do anything you didn’t want to.” Seemingly unimpressed that at least one of the adults he secretly looked up to could be forced into a lame dinner party.

How best to explain…? “If you’re smart, you’ll never let someone else control your narrative.” 

“What’s that mean?” Now his full attention was on you. 

“It means… okay. So. This dinner is a charity banquet. Tony and I said we’d go, but then we changed our minds. Because of that, we paid three times the entry fee to make up for not going. But the people running the event told everyone we backed out. That makes us look bad, no matter how much we paid. So now on the evening of, Tony and I are going to put in some face time without them knowing until we say hello. By then, they’ll have made the mistake of badmouthing us even though we paid over price to not go- and at the same time, will have gone anyway.” You took a breath after all this, arching a brow at him. “Does that make sense?” 

He shrugged, looking away. “Sort of. I guess.” 

That was a no. Plainer terms… “We’re going to make the people running the event look like assholes for talking shit about us.” His head whipped your way, that giddy sense of an uptight adult just cursed! easy to spot, but it was the shock that really got a grin out of you. “That easier to digest?” 

He returned the expression. “Yeah. I get it now.” 

                                                     ----

The meeting ran long, as all meetings these days tended to do. When someone had you in a room they were always very keen to keep you there as long as they could, as if that would improve their chances of getting what they wanted. Usually it was the opposite. When you realized it was running a little too long, you side-barred everyone so that you could have Happy take Harley down to the cafeteria to get some food… and as a little treat for his patience (having some very decent manners in a meeting where even you were starting to get a little rough around the edges) told him he could go down to the gift shop and get whatever he wanted. 

When finally, two whole hours later, enough things had been agreed upon and signed, you went to collect both of them and head home for the day. The sun was just finished setting, the city awash in its nighttime lights- 

Too little too late you realized the glow of which were coming from some reporters parked next to your car. While Happy tried to wave them off, and you struggled valiantly to keep Harley behind you- one of them barked something at you that immediately got your attention. It was because of this you put a hand on Happy’s arm to let him know you were about to address one of them before getting in the car. 

You also held your arm back to keep Harley from view. When you held your head up to the reporter angling a microphone up, his cameraman pushing forward to get a good shot, the man felt a wash of relief and a bit of pride that he’d been picked. “What do you have to say about Senator Stern’s arrest?” 

Ah. Such a beautiful question. While he’d been hauled off government property a few hours after everything had been leaked, he’d been hiding behind lawyers and money. ...nothing Stark Industries couldn’t strip him of. Quietly, of course. You stood tall. “I have to say that I find it extremely interesting that almost every single person that went up against Tony four years ago in that Senate hearing were traitors to the country. I also find it very relieving that Hydra didn’t get their hands on the Iron Man suit at that time. God knows we would have hundreds raining down on America by now if they had.” 

Someone in the back of the crowd- civilians and tourists now having gathered- added a voice to the murmurs- “The Avengers would have protected us!” 

You made a show of a bright smile. “Of course we would have. I’m just commenting on the fact that Stern, like the rest of them, had nefarious plans when he asked to take control of Tony’s suits. A thread that I feel needs to be examined.” 

The reporter pulled his mic back to ask, “Do you think the court battle will drag on for years?” 

“Oh, absolutely not. We’re lucky to have such a level-headed leader like President Ellis. I know he’s doing all he can- and it’s been extremely tough with the sudden power vacuums. But I know he’s going to expedite the process as much as possible so that the American people can see the justice that’s owed to them.” You gave a little wave off. “Thank you- no more questions- I have to be getting home-” 

Allowing Happy to push the perimeter back so you and Harley could get in the car. Your phone immediately started buzzing, and as you retrieved it from your pocket, the name and face of the very same President Ellis warned you from the front screen. 

Harley, who was making no attempts to not get caught spying, sat beside you in a little bit of excited disbelief. “The President has your phone number?” 

“Every single one, unfortunately.” 

“What’s he calling you for?” 

“Well I just put him in a corner by insinuating he was going to do something he had no plans to do.” 

Harley seemed to be thinking about this, but ended up sending a lopsided smile your way. “I thought you said smart people don’t let their uh… let their narratives be controlled?” 

You grinned back. “I did say that.” This tickled Harley- that you’d imply the President was stupid. But it was a good lesson for him, if he was in a learning mood. So you followed the thought up, “Smart people never let other people control their narratives. But smart people also control other people’s narratives where it’s advantageous to them.” 

His nose scrunched then, and you could feel the gears grinding. “I think I get it.” 

“I want him to put Stern in jail. As soon as possible. Now he has no choice but to do what I want, because I got ahead of him.” 

At this he nodded a few times over until another question came. “Yeah I get it. But why that guy?” 

For this you let a little bit of seriousness seep in. “Stern has threatened Tony on more than one occasion. I make a point of punishing people like that. So that other people are scared to try it later.” 

No one threatens my family and gets away with it. A much more powerful lesson, you thought. Harley considered it, nodding again while looking down at his hands. You felt a sudden storm cloud brew inside of him. “Yeah. Yeah, I understand.” 

It was such a strong and dark feeling that seemed to consume him so quickly. There was no telling what was going on in his head- what he was relating this all to. Although it was an easy guess that it was the reason he’d run away. You settled a hand on his shoulder, imparting some calm to ease the clouds. “I know it’s not the healthiest, but what do you say to stopping at Burger King for dinner.” Nothing fast food couldn’t fix. 

There was a little relief when he smiled. “Are we allowed to do that?” 

“It’s Tony’s favorite. Right, Happy?” Looking up into the rearview. 

Happy waved a hand. “The boss loves Whoppers. Me, personally, I’m kind of a Big Mac kinda guy…” 

[yellowisthehappiestcolor]

2/13/19

meh.

overate today already (it’s 1:40 PM).  I'm going to remain positive and nonchalant about it though.  here goes my rationalizing lol...

I woke up this morning with (I think) my lowest weight (at least in a while!) of 162.9.  so that was good.  but I had a bagel with vegan cream cheese and I think the guilt (cause there was some for eating it) I suppressed to the best of my abilities.  now, on top of that, I was dehydrated because I only drank one glass of water in the morning and nothing else (big red flag! 🚩)  

I was very active yesterday - props to me!!! - and ran 3 miles and walked 4.3 miles. obviously I've had better days but still! and I ate well and even allowed myself a night snack when I felt my energy levels dropping during my night class and really felt hungry.  I probs had about 2,000 calories yesterday if I had to estimate - but CALORIES DO NOT MATTER, HEALTH MATTERS!

but anyway, today, I've walked 2.4 miles so far and I am going to run my 2nd training run of my training schedule (4 miles 😊) later today after I drink more water, do a bit of work, digest and hopefully poop.  I probs had about 2,500-2,600 calories today so - rationalizing that out - it would average to 2,300 (and 2,000-2,200 is healthy for my body) but add the running on top of that, it probs levels out.  because according to my app, the run yesterday burned 462 so, even if it was just 400, I'd still be at 1,900 for yesterday which is very much so healthy and sustainable.

FUCK.  I need to stop.  Stop dwelling.  I just did so many mental calculations regarding numbers and calories and blah blah blah.  I need to let go and let God.  TRUST THE PROCESS.  the good WILL happen for me - in this case, the good being weight loss to the size where I feel most happy, healthy and confident again around 115-120 pounds. I need to relinquish the need for all control.  I need to will step out of my OWN way to allow the good to happen for me.  I'll just focus on eating regularly, healthily, sustainably (food that makes me feel good inside and out!) and just stay on track with my training schedule to fulfill a goal for MYSELF.  and everything will take care of itself so long as I am holding up my end of the bargain.  I don’t need to control/do everything here! hell, it’s impossible to!

-

on a completely unrelated note, there are 2 or 3 boys who I think are quite cute in my lab on Wednesday mornings.  I noticed them last Wednesday (our first lab this semester) but I haven’t seen them in lecture! however, lecture is huge with tons of people and I sit on the side somewhere so hopefully - you know what?! I'll manifest it! the boys (at least one of them) that stare at me will see me sitting on the side in lecture one day and intentionally sit next to/near me and strike up a convo with me during class so we can have a conversation and build a repertoire and at least become friends (and eventually something more :))

the one that stares at me, though, is v tall (like at least 6′1/6′2) and has good hair.  like dirty blonde-ish hair to probably about the bottom of his ears.  cute.  and like I noticed him looking at me at least twice today (when there was absolutely nothing to excuse why.  like he wasn’t looking out the window next to me, he was dead on looking at me. which is totally fine by me! lol. enjoy the view hahahaha.

and the TA wasn’t anywhere near me so that he was looking at the TA and his eyes just glanced at me.  I noticed him looking when I just was turning my head around and - ok, I admit, I felt that someone was looking at me.  and I also wanted to see if I still thought those boys were cute and so I literally looked for a split second.  but both times I caught him staring (his friend kinda looks like him so I can’t entirely tell if just one of them has been looking or both lol) he immediately turned away looking a little embarrassed like he got caught hahahaha. but yeah, I wish he would just say something on the way out! and in my head, he totally does wanna say something, he just doesn’t know how to strike up a convo with me/what he would say!  if only there was alcohol in the mix to ease conversation 😂 lololol

and like we had to hand in our ID cards to pick up safety goggles and he was walking by me in line (as well as everyone else in front of me) and he locked eyes with me for a second and was like “I'm sorry, excuse me”.  and I KNOW (LOL) reading that back sounds like NOTHING but it meant something. like he was going out of his way to just talk to me a teensy tiny bit.

but yeah. he will come over and talk to me.  worst comes to worst, if I don’t like him *like that* once we start talking, I'll have a new guy friend :) oh! and also, on the way out of class, I TOTALLY was taking my time to clean up and pack up my bag and put on my sweatshirt to leave.  and he & his friend were ready a few MINUTES before I even started packing up.  and everyone was free to leave, too, so he didn’t have to stick around.  but he sat there at the table on his phone with his friend for a few minutes and then when I stood up and started walking towards the door, they stood up and just stood at the doorway and then I walked by, they headed out.  and they were right behind me but I was speed walking (LOL, stupid ho 😂) so they were kind of left far behind - well, like half a hallway behind me.  

but I'm thinking he is just building up the courage to talk to me about SOMETHING.  also, I would like to note that I totally would be the first to strike up the convo with him but I'm kinda in the same exact position too!  how do I talk to someone who sits at the lab table catty-cornered to mine? like I can’t just get up and change tables (ok, I mean, I could but that’d be hellllllla obvious and weird because it’s not like I don’t get along very well with the girls who sit across from me at my current lab table).  so the question here is how can I/he start a conversation with the other one naturally? *unless* he gets the courage to randomly sit at MY lab table one day and replace the boy who sits next to me. and then that way we could work together and talk and become friends/get to know each other and blah blah blah.  that would just solve all the problems.  OR he/all of them sit near me in lecture and we could start talking that way.

c’mon mystery boy (mystery because I don’t know/remember his name from the first day! haha), you can do it. come talk to me in class, whether it’s in lecture or lab! :)

[frankthomas090-blog]

abby winter yoga - The New Angle On Abby Winters Lesbian Porn Just Released

In town for a bit on business, he wants to have some casual fun. 5 inches and THICK- his emphasis. Hes at the top end of length for my preference, but self describing it as thick got my attention. Sometimes theres just an instant connection or chemistry, drawing you in so fast with a new person you just kind of dance around the usual screening process.

Described his cock as 7. Average height, better than average build, green eyes. Hes my age, 31, but with the right combination of personality and body- I can look past it. Gimme that thick dick. This Ginger was respectful and straight to the point from the get-go on Plenty of Fish. Hes former Army- he had a pic up in his dress uniform. He sends me his number, we text briefly, and make the plan to meet that same day.

I appreciated his ability to be direct without being rude or vulgar. I like em young and hung! Also, I give it a 95% hes well endowed- orange is the new Black. At no point did he ask for nudes, or ask endless intimate questions- I give it a 50/50 chance of being a satisfactory encounter given our lack of communication beforehand, but I cant resist a Ginger to save my life.

He passed with flying colors. Im telling you, this isnt rocket science. I feel my lady business respond immediately. In our very brief texting we went over our Dos and Donts, as well as both agreeing we like aggressive AND passionate sex. Dont ever forget that.

The way hes kissing me I can already tell this will likely be a very good encounter. " Its early afternoon, what a great way to spend it. Upon his arrival I am freshly showered, bed is made, and Im wearing t-shirt that says "MEETS OR EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS. He sits next to me, we awkwardly exchange hellos, and then he moves right in to kissing me. Not overly eager, not sloppy, makes you want it right meow.

Hes not pushing my body down while shoving his tongue down my throat. He starts lifting up my shirt after pawing me and groping for the goodies- having discovered my nipples are pierced and briefly sucking them, its time for layers to come off.

He peels his layers off as Im taking mine off and comes right back to mauling me so expertly I couldnt resist. Hes kissing me like hes excited to see me, and hes real good at it. Hes maneuvering me onto my back while he takes a top position.

Moving his head lower he pulls my panties off but with such reckless abandon theyre still on my left leg. Good kissers are also known to be good lovers, from my observation. Youre taking your clothes off, too. I dont recognize the alphabet hes writing, maybe its Spanish.

The moment he kisses my thighs its all over. His eagerness to put his mouth on my slit is palpable. He didnt just dive face first into my nonsense salad- first he ran his tongue up my outer labia on both sides and it felt soft and gentle and GIVE ME MORE. Fuck God sounds totally different when Im cumming and yelling nonsense. Right around now is where I learned Im actually bilingual, but whatever language I was stuttering out can only be whispered or shouted; theres no in between.

Oh my god hes licking my asshole- I have sex Tourettes. Do you think Jesus and God can tell youre not swearing AT them? he pushes my legs up and licks up and down, then just down. I can barely take it, stretched to maximum capacity for comfort, and even then hes mildly uncomfortably large. And it consists mostly of very short, hostile sounding 4 letter words.

DONT STOP, DONT STOP, DONT STOP. Once he was done tracing and teasing I felt the warm, wet touch of his whole mouth open around my clitoris, moving his tongue in ways I cant imagine or describe. Holding my body close to his and pushing his hips up into me, my limbs instinctively wrap around him like a slutty octopus. His length is perfectly spot on- any longer and he just wouldve www.abby winters.com been too much.

GOD DAMN YOU HAVE A BIG DICK. Pushing my limits for size, I question if my lungs have enough room to inflate fully while hes all the way inside. Id put him right around 7 inches in length, my preference being 6.

With my pelvis lifted to the right level, hed shove his tongue in me as my insides start to contract with the orgasm. Literally cumming on his tongue. For sure hes wearing the biggest condom commercially manufactured, or a trash bag. My hips would buck but his arms would find their way around them and hold them in place, while my legs stretched upward trying to walk on the ceiling. We didnt transition out of missionary, he sat up and spread my legs wide while plunging into me with force and conviction.

He rolls on a condom and pushes himself inside me- my eyes rolled back so far I saw memories from my childhood. I sound maybe like a dying rabbit as my fingers pull his short hair and hold his head firmly in place. I didnt keep count, I was much too busy screaming his praises to the Gods.

He gets his and we collapse away from each other. As soon as I begin to cum, back go the legs, down goes the head, and hed ride my climax on his face. When I would start to climax, hed withdraw quickly and push my legs up around my head. He puts his underwear back on and Im guessing hes leaving now, sad times, but then he hops back onto the bed and I take the opportunity to snuggle up into his armpit and touch on his body while I bask in the afterglow.

He does this for every single orgasm. Im wrapped around him and mostly content. I cant get my mouth around it right, my hand doesnt wrap around it. Its awkward to handle, do I need a license? I feel like my certs are out of date because this newfangled cocktraption is just outside of my scope of experience.

Good Lord, who taught you to do that? I gift him my mouth because hes more than earned it. I could definitely go for more, but hes not some 20-something with endless stamina. He pounds away at me from different positions, I like him behind me because I like his stroke and how he braces himself by holding my hips down. Clearly he gets most of his satisfaction from pleasing his lady.

Im not going to argue, and somebody has been listening to my thoughts and dreams again because this man was made in a fucking lab just for me. The sun goes down around 4pm right now so thats not a good indicator either. what even is time, man. Im amused I come across that way- Im all about those afterglow cuddles.

Between our rounds we break for cuddles and snuggles- he confesses he assumed, from my profile on PoF, that he was to go after the first round and I wasnt much for affection or cuddling afterward. He enjoys the cuddles too, and doesnt like to just leave after a hookup unless thats her preference. Please me you thick dick Georgia peach!

Take care of your partner after you fuck them. He enjoys my head game but it just makes him want to fuck me. He gets off twice more and I have no idea how much time has passed. HOLD MEEEEEEEEEEE, pet my hair and tell me Im pretty. Fool I dont get to round 3 very often with men in their supposed prime, so whos more thrilled! Hes an intuitive partner and he reads my cues very well, plus he just wants to bring me all the pleasure.

Apparently he doesnt get to round 3 very often, and hes kind of thrilled about it. His size is intimidating and hes more shaped for vaginal feel goods. I like how he lays it down, and I like anal with the right partner. He admits hes never been able to have anal successfully, and I can understand why.

The way hes shaped, getting the head in is not the hard part- he gest wider towards the middle and base, like a fucking road cone. I dont doubt that hell follow my lead and respect my signals if things get too intense. The last time things started heating up Im on my belly and hes pressing the head of his monster cock on my asshole- Im doing word problems in my head about the likelihood of this being a good idea or not.

He apologizes for cumming too soon- I had to hold back my school girl giggle. He flipped me over and fucked me hard up until I told him to say my magic words. What a dear, sweet lover. He actually thought he owed me an apology after our FOURTH consecutive romp. Tell me you love fucking me. Ive got shit to do as well. 10/10 would fuck again.

I tell him point-blank Id like to see him again before he leaves, he happily agrees. We were unable to make it happen, he was just too big and we didnt do enough warmup, but I took about half of him before tapping out. He texts me asking what my plans are for the evening, as hed like abby winters galleries to grab a couple of beers and a late dinner.

Fast forward 24 hours. When posed with options like this, I always ask WHY NOT BOTH? I tell him Im going to shower and meet him at the restaurant bar near his hotel, he instructs me to bring my lube. I dont really do compromises. Or I could come over to his hotel room after and he could just fuck my brains out all night.

Maybe Id like to join him? In the time it took me to excitedly shower and keelhaul the warts off my body, my phone starts showing notifications of other interested men folk. The words fall out of his mouth and he explodes seconds later, to his own surprise. why end with a OR when theres always an AND?

He tells me I cant miss him at the restaurant bar- hes wearing a cowboy hat. (You thought that hyperlink went to the movie reference, didntcha? CANT TALK NOW, THICKEST DICK EVER WANTS TO TAKE ME TO POUND TOWN! Oh goody, I know what Im wearing later. Can honestly say hes a good one.

Test me, Ive got true grit. ) The company was great, hes fun to talk to. Cleaned up, its time for him to go he has things to do. As were leaving I ask how many Magnum XL condoms he has- he says 4. He confesses he doesnt generally have his lady spend the night because hes very affectionate and waking up next to someone hes spent the better part of the night pleasing, can lead to him having feelings.

We need to buy more, STAT. I feel like a teenager again. We talk about our kids, divorce, he tells me about his previous military experience, and what hes doing now. Rolling into Wal-Mart at that hour, with giant shit-eating grins on our faces, buying only condoms.

You think youre big, you aint big until you must have custom condoms. I get what youre saying, were gonna fool around and then I gotta GTFO. Sexy Ginger man with a good head on his shoulders and giant cock, somebody please snatch this man up quick haha or dont, and let him keep sharing that beautiful endowment with all the ladies.

Back to the hotel room, we barely make it to the bed and hes on me. Details from here are fuzzy, but he went down for ages and we fucked around in every position. Dont get it twisted; theres approximately 10 million condoms in my purse, but they wouldnt fit him. Remember, if youre hard to size on either end of the spectrum theres a UK company called TheyFit that you can enter your measurements into and theyll get you fitted with one of their 66 sizes.

We took a smoke break before trying www.abby winters yoga abby winters.com (linked site) again, and he tells me hes half Mexican. This perfect Ginger man is also a beaner. He was made just for me. While he was behind me licking and sucking my clit, shoving his tongue inside my pussy and my asshole, I hear the top of the lube bottle click. At some point I wore his Stetson when we come back inside, naked.

He positions himself at the backdoor and gently adds pressure until I whimper or tense up. Working together slowly, gently, following my vocal cues I take him to the base. Pushed to the hilt we pause. Its more than mildly uncomfortable, but if we take it slow itll feel great.

I can feel it cold and slippery, then hear him stroking it on himself. I swear to Kylie Minogue I cant make this stuff up. Im a little drunk- 3 drinks on a mostly empty stomach, Ill sit on your lap and call you Daddy if you want. He picks up the pace, we start talking dirty to each other. I have not been quiet at all during any of this, but now Im incapable of controlling the primal animal noises Im bleating into the bedding.

He was having some performance issues but was bound and determined to make sure I enjoyed our time as much as possible. I can feel him shaking a bit, hes going to cum soon. Its late, the booze and orgasms are sedating me.

Hes down close on me, wrapping his big hands around mine, entwining our fingers, crossing arms under my chin as he grinds into me. I tell him to withdraw slowly. I wake up hazily to roll over and his arms find their way around me again, hes a perfect big spoon. After several loud, amazing orgasms, he gets down close and pushes himself inside me all at once.

Rocking into me Im wrapped around him in my koala hug. Hes holding me and Im lost in it. I awake fully to him sliding down the bed, tossing my right leg over and burying his face in my morning pussy. Digging my fingers into his back and pulling his short hair, I dont want it to end. Im cold and reach for a sheet, he covers us immediately and Im back out like a light.

He slows down but hes plunging into me with the kind of force and quivering body that lets me know its now. Pushing my skirt up, pulling my panties to the side, he takes my box in his mouth and I hold on for dear life, staring up at the mirrored ceiling I get to watch myself almost cum in his mouth.

Morning sex was more passionate, and a bit briefer. Hes even kissing me with my dragon breath. We havent even hit the floor button yet. When we get to the ground floor we smoke together outside, recap our enjoyment with each other. My back hurts from how he so violently throws my legs back to eat my pussy while Im cumming, both my pussy and asshole are recovering from their respective stretching and beating, and Im walking on a broken toe.

We get dressed together, and he goes to walk me out but as soon as the elevator door closed he dropped to his knees. He tells me after two days with me, he wont be able to fuck for a week. God damn that was good. He reaches up, hits L, and continues his works. 10/10 would fuck any time. I am completely satisfied. This will happen one week from now, when he has free time again.

I scamper home to sit on frozen bags of peas, pound water, and cuddle all my pillows. tt/2i9A4Cy /u/DDfnord Link is directly to this story http://ift. This entry on my sex blog has hyperlinks, if youd like to see it in full I write on WordPress and the blog name is All The Dicks.