#i think it was much too rambling on my part and they asked almost exclusively sciency questions

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[vexingwoman]

I’m loving hearing everyone’s thoughts on whump. Many such cases of ostensibly straight or bisexual women consuming nothing but torture porn (with a tasteful side of woobie coddling or “caretaking”) for gay male pairings almost exclusively. Extreme rambling below because I’ve been thinking about this forever and I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it in a meaningful way.

The non-sexual elements of whump are actually even more interesting to me, especially since even that is still reserved for gay male characters (or straight male characters being written as gay for fic). The whole caretaking part, the way so many whump writers often deride canon material for failing to properly explore the sort of pain they think their fandom faves ought to feel (more accurately: exhibit). Many whump fics are non-sexual but the voyeuristic attention to the suffering of its gay male protagonists feels sexual, in a fetishistic way. There is no similar equivalent to people paying this much precious, mawkish attention to the traumas experienced by female characters. Even if it mirrors or exceeds the actual amount of canon emotional catharsis experienced by their male counterparts.

And I really don’t think these women are a 1:1 equivalent to men who can only get off watching extremely violent porn about women. I don’t even think it comes close to the level of harm those men cause. But I would like to ask the people who consume and produce this content: Why is it only ever about gay men? Why is suffering, crying, rape, terminal illness, torture, etc. such a heavy erotic fixation for them?

And unfortunately I cannot picture any response that isn’t either 1) pornsick or 2) violently defensive.

Very eloquently said. In my experience, aside from admitting that it’s a fetish or misogynistically claiming that male characters are more complex and easier to empathize with, the most common answer I’ve received to the question of why this community focuses almost exclusively on male characters is that it’s an “unexpected and intriguing reversal of gendered expectations.” And while this may be true for some, I’m not convinced this is the main reason.

Because obviously, having a female character abuse and torture the male character would also constitute as an unexpected reversal of gendered expectations, but this community isn’t fascinated by that. Both the character executing the abuse, and the character receiving the abuse, are virtually always male—and the character who plays the role of the caretaker, of course. Coincidentally, I just ran into some stats which really emphasize the point, not that they were needed:

Also, have you noticed a strange upsurge in ridiculously abusive and shockingly violent homo-erotic media? I’m referring to stories like Killing Stalking or Hannibal here. Of course, these kinds of stories have always existed, but I feel like the fascination in them has recently spiked. I recall that even ten years ago the most popular media on gay male relationships was mawkishly adorable—what some would call “fluffy.”

You have to wonder how much of a role that plays in all this. I know for many girls, these vicious homo-erotic stories were their first real exposure to whump content. Maybe they prefer gay male whump content because it’s all they know? But again, that seems too convenient an answer.

In conclusion, I think this is just a mixture of fetishization and internalized misogyny, as I’ve said. In another post, I’ll go further into why I think it’s actually false to argue that male characters are more complexly written and easier to empathize with, and how the real culprit is not the writing, but gendered stereotyping and unconscious misogyny.

If anyone wants to chime in and give their perspective on this, please do.

[neon-lights-and-glitter]

Fight The Feeling Prologue -Part 5 Paris Fashion Week

Summary- Even though Jack is in the middle of tour rehearsals, he flys to Paris to surprise you when you are nervous about walking in a runway show during Paris Fashion Week.

Word Count- 2.3k

Requested by @heavyhitterheaux 💖💖

You and Jack had been keeping up by facetime calls and flying out for a day or two when you could. You were both incredibly busy, you preparing for Paris fashion week, and Jack preparing for his upcoming Crème De La Crème tour. With you being in separate countries for almost a week now, even facetime calls were difficult, but you made it work.

You were walking in a couple different shows, but the one you were most stressed out about was the Louis Vuitton show you were walking in. You were picked to wear the last outfit of the night, which happened to be a one-of-a-kind exclusive piece. You had walked in many shows before, but you had never been picked to be featured. You tried to hide how nervous you were from Jack, but he could tell, you weren’t very good at it.

“Baby, you’re going to do amazing.” Jack reassured you over your facetime call.

“But there’s so many things that can go wrong. What if I trip and fall, what if my shoe falls off, what if-” You rambled on before Jack cut you off.

“You are a professional. Even if something goes wrong, you know how to handle it. If the designer didn’t think you could do it, they wouldn’t have picked you. I know you can do it, I believe in you more than anyone else does.” Jack continued to reassure you.

“I’m just nervous.” You admitted. You hadn’t been this nervous since you walked in your very first professional runway show. It felt like you were starting over, and in a way you were. You had moved up from walking in any random fashion show you could find with an audience of one hundred people if you were lucky, to walking in professional shows with an audience of hundreds if not thousands of people watching. Now you were moving up to the group of models who walked in couture, custom made outfits rather than the ready to wear ones. 

You still walked in the “ready to wear” runway shows, in fact, you had walked in a couple earlier in the week, but you had 2 more days until you were walking in your final show. 

“I wish I could be there.” Jack sighed softly, running his hand through his hair as he leaned back on the couch, he was currently taking a break from rehearsals. 

“Me too, but it’s okay. I understand, you’re busy and that’s just part of us keeping our relationship so private, it’s not like you’re making the choice not to be here.” You said.

“I know, but just know I’ll be watching all the videos as soon as I see them.” Jack said, making you laugh softly. “I’m proud of you, just like you kept telling me how proud of me you were for Saturday Night Live, that’s me now.” 

“Thank you. I know you would be here if you could, but I’ll be flying to Kentucky right after, so we’ll see each other soon.” You reassured and Jack nodded.

“I can’t wait to see you.”

“I’m so excited. I never thought I would be excited to fly to Kentucky after being in Paris for a week.” You teased and Jack pretended to be offended.

“Don’t hate on Kentucky like that.”

“Okay, fine. I actually like Kentucky more than Paris.” You said.

“Why?” Jack asked.

“Because you’re in Kentucky and not in Paris.”

“Oh god, you’ve been hanging around me to much.” Jack joked, both of you laughing.

“Yeah, that has to be on the top of the list of the cheesiest things I’ve ever said.” You joked and both of you sat in silence for a moment, knowing Jack had to go back to rehearsals, but neither of you wanted to hang up so you both just stared at each other through the phone.

“I miss you baby.” Jack sighed softly.

“I miss you too.” You admitted. “But we’ll see each in 4 days.”

“I know, I just wish I could see you sooner.” Jack said and you agreed. You and Jack made small talk for a couple more minutes before Urban came into the room Jack was hiding in, telling him he had to go back to rehearsals.

“I have to go, but I’ll call you later, okay?” Jack said and you nodded.

“Okay, I love you, J.” You smiled softly.

“I love you too baby.” Jack said before you both hung up the phone. Jack made sure the phone was disconnected before turning to Urban. 

“Want to fly to Paris?” Jack asked and Urban looked at him confused.

“Paris? You do know you have rehearsals here for another week and a half?” Urban said and Jack nodded.

“Yeah, but we’ve been rehearsing for 2 weeks, everything’s going well, and I feel like everyone could use a break. It will just be a couple days. I want to surprise Y/N. She’s been so stressed out, and I want to be there.” Jack said.

“Isn’t the show sold out? How do you expect to get tickets to a sold-out Louis Vuitton fashion week show?” Urban asked.

“I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.” Jack said, and he did.

Jack and Urban managed to fly to Paris and get tickets to the show, just in time to be sitting in the front row. Jack made sure to call you to wish you good luck while he was in the car so you wouldn’t get suspicious. Jack went back and forth on if he wanted to surprise you before or during/after, but ultimately his flight didn’t land in time for him to surprise you before.  

You were the last to walk, so you had a little bit of down time, and more time to stress out, before you walked, but everyone around you was running around hectic trying to make sure the show ran properly. You had gotten to know a couple models during the last week, one of them being Zoey, who was quite open to you about her crush on Jack. She happened to be one of the first to walk, coming straight to you as soon as she got off stage even though she had to change so she could walk again.

“You’re never going to believe who’s in the audience.” Zoey said, clearly excited.

“Who?” You asked, laughing softly.

“Jack Harlow!” Zoey said, practically jumping up and down with excitement. 

“What?” You asked, you felt your heartrate increase at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, and just for a moment you let yourself live in the excitement that he was there, but you knew he wasn’t in Paris. “Are you sure it isn’t someone who just looks like him?” You asked and she shook her head.

“It’s totally him. Front row, to the right, look when you go out.” Zoey said before she was dragged away to change. As more people walked, the more you heard rumors of Jack being in the audience, but you didn’t believe them. You had talked to him right before the show and he said he was on his way to rehearsals.  

Eventually it was your time to walk down the runway, you were waiting backstage for the model before you to walk off. You couldn’t stand still, pacing back and forth before you stepped on stage.

The second you stepped on stage, you couldn’t help but look to the right since that’s where you had heard Jack was, but you didn’t think you would find him. Your eyes immediately found Jacks, and for a second you couldn’t believe it. As soon as you saw Jack though, you immediately relaxed, seeing him smile up at you, you smiled back before you had to remind yourself to focus. Jack and Urban couldn’t help but cheer a little louder for you then they cheered for anyone else. Jack was incredibly proud of you, prouder than he had ever been for any of his own accomplishments.

As soon as you were off stage, it fully hit you that Jack was there, you were excited to see Urban too, but your main focus was Jack at the moment. You couldn’t believe Jack had flown at least 9 hours just to watch you walk down a runway once.

As soon as they allowed some of the celebrities from the audience backstage to mingle, you immediately found your way to Jack, trying not to look like that was your goal. You had both purposefully stopped to have a short conversation before making your way to each other.

Jack pulled you in for a hug as soon as he reached you, and of course you immediately hugged back.

“I told you I’d be watching.” Jack whispered into your ear. “I’m so proud of you, you did amazing.” 

“I can’t believe you came, thank you so much.” You whispered, not wanting to let go of Jack, but you did so no one would notice how long your hug lasted. You hugged Urban next. “Thank you for coming.” You told him.

“No problem, it was all Jack’s idea.” Urban said, laughing softly as you two pulled away from the hug. You whispered to Jack where your dressing room was, telling him to meet you there in 20 minutes. You separated from Jack and Urban so you could all talk to a couple other people when Zoey approached you.

“What the fuck, you weren’t going to tell me you know Jack!?” She said, clearly shocked.

“We don’t know each other that well, we’ve met a couple times, that’s it.” You shrugged, underestimating your relationship with Jack.

“Girl, are you blind? He looks at you like he’s in love with you.” Zoey told you and you laughed softly.

“He’s not in love with me.” You denied.

“The way he looks at you says otherwise.” Zoey insisted.

“Yeah, sure.” You rolled your eyes. 

20 minutes later you and Jack were in your dressing room, luckily no one saw either of you enter the room.

“I seriously can’t believe you are here.” You said, laughing softly as you hugged him again, burying your head in his neck as he kissed the top of your head.

“Honestly? Neither can I.” Jack laughed. “But, if there was anyone I’d fly to a different country for with 2 days’ notice, it’s you.” Jack said, you pulled away from the hug to finally kiss Jack.

“You don’t know how much you being here means to me.” You admitted as you pulled away from the kiss. 

“I knew you were stressed, and I knew that this was a big deal to you, and it should be, so I wanted to be here to support you. I’m so proud of you.” Jack said, kissing you once more before sitting down and pulling you into his lap.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to be here, but I’m so glad you are.” You said, playing with his hair. “Wait. Don’t you have rehearsals you should be at?” You asked and Jack laughed softly.

“I gave everyone a couple days off, it took a little convincing, but since everything was going good, I was able to talk everyone into it.”

“I swear, you could literally convince anyone to do anything.” You teased. “I love you, thank you for making me feel special today.”

“I love you too. My goal is to make you feel special every day.” Jack said and you smiled softly as Jack pushed your hair out of your face.

“You do make me feel special every day, you’ve just made me feel a little extra special today.” You said and Jack smiled, kissing the top of your head.  “Apparently you look at me like you’re in love with me.” You said, looking up at Jack, leaning into his chest.

“Oh, I do?” Jack teased, unable to hold back the slight blush from appearing on his cheeks.

“According to Zoey. So, if we want to keep this relationship private, you need to look less in love.” You teased.

“Well, that’s going to be hard to do since I am in love.” Jack said and you giggled. You two sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence before you remembered Urban was alone.

“Should I text Urban and tell him he can come in so he’s not alone?” You asked and Jack laughed softly.

“Baby, it’s Urban, he’s in a room full of models, he’s probably having the time of his life, I’d be shocked if he choose to be in here with us rather than out there, I’m probably going to have to drag him out of here.” Jack joked, both of you laughing.

“You have a point.” You laid your head back on Jack’s chest.

“We can go back to the hotel whenever you’re ready.” Jack said and you nodded.

“Just want to stay here for a few more minutes and then we can leave.” You said and Jack nodded.

“We can stay here as long as you want.” Jack said, rubbing your back softly. “Oh, I also extended your trip by another day.” Jack said.

“Jackman Harlow, you spoil me too much.” You said and Jack laughed. “But I love you, thank you.” You kissed Jack softly.

“You deserve it, it gives us another day alone before we have to go be around other people and not act like a couple, plus it was the earliest I could get a return flight and I didn’t want to fly back without you.” Jack said. “I love you too.” Jack said, kissing you softly.

Eventually you and Jack went back to your hotel, Jack was right and Urban didn’t want to leave so he stayed for a little while longer. You and Jack enjoyed your little vacation and 2 days in Paris together before flying back to Kentucky so Jack could continue his tour rehearsals. 

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree

[notmoreflippingelves]

@saemi-the-dreamer asked: Esteban: 2, 7, 18, 19 and 21? :D

As I mentioned in my initial reply to the ask, I made a separate post for Esteban, since--as will surprise no one--I really rambled on A LOT about him. And it wasn't fair to shove all my EsteRamblings into the same, much shorter post with Gabe.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Honestly, pretty much everything about Esteban's character journey in S3 makes me absolutely INSANE (in the best way). But I think the thing that makes me most feral of all is the moment when he falls into the crystal well. His sparkly new outfit and stupid hairdo. The fact that the narrative has visibly and thematically linked him via this shared experience with Elena for the entire rest of the show. The symbolism of him being given the power to run away (literally and metaphorically) from the problems that he has caused. The fact that the show will ultimately end with him not running away but instead running towards something (Elena, specifically to save her from the problem Esteban himself caused). It's just... they did all this to me, an English major, and expected me to be normal about it. The audacity.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I like it when Esteban is *included* in things. While I wouldn't say he gets as much focus as the four amigos or Isabel, he still does get a good bit of art and a reasonable amount of fic. And its honestly nice to have a blorbo who isn't just shamelessly ignored (*cough Jean Innocent *cough) or vilified to the point of OOC-ness (*cough Kristoph Gavin cough*) , or used almost exclusively as a plot device to facilitate the fandom preferred ship of which they are not part of (both of the others).

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

"Admire" is a weird way to put it as it makes it sound as though the dynamic is or should be aspirational/healthy. And I'm honestly having trouble coming up with one that fits that particularly description. I guess either Isabel or Francisco would be closest to meeting that description. But I don't really have too much to say about them right now.

So I am just going to go ahead and treat this question as "relationship that I find interesting and enjoy watching." And honestly, there is a LOT of them. Obviously his relationship with Elena is arguably the building block of the entire show and naturally, I love and cherish it with my entire heart. But I already ramble too much about it so I won't do so here.

I also find his history and complicated relationship with Victor fascinating. The two are clear foils of each other and very shippable ones too, and so my little English major brain/rare pair loving self gets a lot of mileage over the little that we see of them together. But we really only get a single episode of the two of them interacting. (Apart from a few moments in "The Magic Within" and Esteban being mentioned a few times in "The Lightning Warrior") so there's really only so much that I can say about them. And a lot of what I love about them is really just head canons/parts of my fic, so it could be totally ooc.)

Similarly, I think his dynamic with Dona Paloma is fun to watch and has a lot of interesting potential, but we really only scratch the surface of it. The narrative lets them be temporary allies or business rivals for the sake of a given episode's plot, but its rarely done in a way that adds something new or interesting to their relationship. (When Esteban + Paloma political shenanigans happen, its rarely used to advance either of their character developments and when it is, it's usually just Paloma's..as Esteban gets most of his development in other episodes).

So, I feel like I have to say that the most-interesting-and engaging Esteban relationship (apart from Elena) has to be Naomi. The two of them have a really interesting dynamic to watch and their relationship specifically (as opposed to just the two of them as individual characters) gets a good amount of direct focus. Whether Esteban is sniping at Naomi from across the Grand Council table, begrudgingly accepting her as a capable colleague by the end of "Finders Leapers," teaching her to waltz (in order to show up Paloma) in "My Fair Naomi" or clinging to her when Valentina's carriage goes out of control, the two of them don't just steal the scene but positively abscond with it in the most delightful way. Plus, I love the parallels of Naomi ending the show in Esteban's former position as Chancellor. (I like to headcanon that she's gonna end up seeking a lot of advice from him for her new role and may even recruit him as her number two. He has 41 years of valuable experience that it would be shame to waste).

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

This is hardly a surprising answer, but...I do not particularly care for his relationship with Luisa. Esteban was orphaned when he was 9 at most, so he barely remembers his mother. The closest thing to a mother that he does remember is the grandmother who raised him. He needed lots of love and validation and attention, and based on what we see in canon, Luisa didn't give him nearly enough. It took years for her to realize they'd left him out of her "favorite" family painting, the flashbacks in "Dias de las Madres" suggest that she was unaware of just how lonely and vulnerable baby!Esteban was even knowing that he had just lost his parents, she gives a pretty clear impression of Elena being her favorite grandchild ( even before Esteban's secret comes out) which I am sure did *wonders* on baby!Esteban's already fragile self-esteem, and in "Coronation Day," even after she knows that Esteban helped save the kingdom (including both her and Elena), she still side-eyes Elena when Elena says that she has forgiven Esteban. tfw you sacrifice your life for your cousin's (who is also your grandma's fave) and risk it again to banish the evil time spirit, but it's still not enough to earn a long-overdue hug from your granny.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Give him very specific and sexual Shuriki-related trauma. I mean to be fair, it's not that I enjoy it so much. It's just there in my head and it happens even when I try to make fluffy and silly little plot bunnies. I would say my favorite thing that I actually enjoy doing and make an effort to do is just aggressively validate him and his feelings since he doesn't really get much of that in canon. I like having characters tell him how much he means to them, and I like for them to genuinely mean it. I like to tell him that he is capable of being loved (romantically and/or platonically ) and has the right to be loved. I like for people to recognize that he has been through so damn much and is still living with the scars that the Dark Times have left on his mind, heart, and soul. I like for other characters to come out and tell him that he's important to them, that he's fundamentally a good and worthy person even if a flawed one who lost his way for awhile, I like having characters tells him that they enjoy his company. And perhaps, most of all, I like having characters (especially Elena. but also Victor, Naomi, and probably anyone else) feel protective of him. To have them promise to take care of him and make sure that he never has to feel alone, forgotten, unloved, or helpless ever again. So basically, my favorite thing to do is aggressively project onto him and give him all the sorts of things I would want for myself as wish-fulfillment.

My least favorite thing that I sometimes see done in fic is when past (or present) Shuriki/Esteban is genuinely romanticized (as opposed to treated as inherently abusive/dubiously consensual). When their feelings are assumed to be mutual, genuine, healthy (if admittedly unconventional/unexpected), and redemptive. Particularly when Esteban tries to "save" Shuriki from Elena and/or "redeem" her from her prison cell, because he loves Shuriki/knows that she isn't really "all bad." Because no, in my view, Shuriki is far beyond any hope of redemption, and no one in Avalor would know that more than Esteban, who was forced to stay by her side and serve her for 41 years.

Now, I do think it's possible that Esteban may have developed a little bit of Stockholm syndrome towards Shuriki, based on the length of time they worked closely together, how utterly dependent on her that he had to be just in order to survive, and how desperate he's always been for just a little bit of attention/affection. But again this wouldn't be real, genuine love. At most, it would be physical attraction, and a conditioned learned dependency on her as a survival mechanism. And given the huge power imbalance between them, there's also this inevitable question of any physical and/or emotional relationship being built on a foundation of dubious consent and sexual harassment (at best).

Given that Shuriki does seem shocked and genuinely hurt when Esteban finally stands up to her in "Secret of Avalor," I think it's also possible that she did grow to care for him as much as she could possibly care for anyone. But I also think that the closest to "love" that it's possible for her to feel is casual affection (similar to what one might feel for a favorite toy) or possessive lust.

And um... so no, I do not think Shuriki is capable of love and even if she was, I don't think it would be possible for her to be rehabilitated by/through love. And even if she was, Esteban is the absolute last person I would want to do said rehabilitation work.

Shuriki personally murdered multiple members of Esteban's family, conquered and terrorized his country, and then made him do all the work of managing Avalor while giving him none of the credit. He was a stupid teenager when they met (and from what we can tell, she seems to have been at least 5-10 years older than him...possibly a lot more if she'd already started magically de-aging herself), . As such, she easily manipulated him by preying on his youth, insecurity, and naivety. (Honestly, they give me BIG "Edmund Pevensie and Jadis the White Witch" energy. Baby!Esteban was a bit older and presumably *a bit* smarter than Edmund, but still very naive and very vulnerable and therefore very susceptible to the corruptive powers of someone significantly older, crueler, and more powerful than he. )

So, it makes me super sad and uncomfy to think about Esteban wanting to be and being responsible for personally saving the life/ soul of the person who has corrupted and controlled every aspect of his life since he was 17-18. He deserves better than that. Even if I still like giving him extra trauma and having him wrestle with it.

[aihoshiino]

(I had this crazy moment when thinking about ONK today and wanted to tell someone)

If your speculation on the HKAI "I cannot love you" moment is correct, I wonder if the AQRB confrontation re Ruby's request to be seen (and loved) as Sarina to Aqua's Gorou will lead to a similar respond. Ie "I cannot love you the way you want me to, even in the scenario you just described."

Because at the end of the day, if I'm reading it correctly, Gorou was never serious in his "till you're 16" response to Sarina. They both knew that she wouldn't live past 12. Sarina/Ruby is delusional but only in a way a girl (sick and fated to die at 12 with the only person kind to her being her doctor) who didn't get to mature in her thinking could be. And imo that parallels to Hikaru, who's experience in "romance" was offering himself in exchange for "love". (Airi's defense for herself was that they were in love, which I suspect was something she told Hikaru, too.)

Tldr: Ruby in her right mind would not proposition her brother, just like 15YL Hikaru in his right would not think grooming is a form of romance. And it is the other person's responsibility to say "no, I can not offer you what (you think) you want".

Another response that's ultimately too late oops… I do still have a lot to say on this topic tho so I hope it's still interesting to read!

Message from future Claire after they finished writing this ask: tehepero… this one turned into a huge ramble so um. please forgive me. Also, spoilers for Usagi Drop made their way in here, if someone somehow doesn't know the big twist of that ending in 2024…

RE: Gorou and Sarina, this is for sure the intended read of their relationship to a degree . Spica downplays/sidesteps this aspect of their relationship a lot but even there it's said explicitly that Gorou was one hundred percent aware that Sarina's long term prognosis was basically non existent. It definitely makes him way more indulgent of and receptive to the "omg Sensei marry me stuff" but even then it's pretty clear that it is, again, just indulging her.

The manga by contrast is much more strongly characterized by this sense of shared but unspoken preemptive grief for the inevitable, where both of them understand but don't really want to talk about it out loud. It added an interesting wrinkle to their relationship that I liked a lot and was disappointed to see Spica iron out but ironing out the interesting parts is kind of what Spica does in general and isn't specific to Gorou and Sarina lol

BUT UH my point is that because of this shared sense of grief and awareness of Sarina's mortality I never really got the impression that she was under even the slightest illusion that Gorou was serious which is why later materials' framing of her as being convinced she can and will be in a relationship with him feel so weird to me. The SENSEI KEKKON SHITE thing doesn't even really feel like Sarina herself is all that serious about it - the energy is almost more like a running bit. Obviously her feelings for him were very strongly and sincerely held and I do think it makes sense for her to jump to actively wanting to be in a romance with him and thinking it was plausible post 123 when her brain has been ensoupened but again, there's that backfill in both Spica and main story material that implies she was ALWAYS that hung up on and deluded about him and tbh I don't really know what to make of it.

In an exclusively post 123 context though, I do really agree with this take on Ruby! This is obviously not a healthy response nor is she thinking at all realistically about what she's propositioning, especially given the kind of weird energy in 143 where she just never even acknowledges Aqua's existence as her brother. Honestly the way OnK has handled AquRuby since 123 and its reluctance to actually acknowledge the incest when it bothers to take Ruby's feelings is very strange to me and I can't quite tell if it's intentional or not yet.

If it IS intentional, then I think it's the set up for Ruby being smacked in the face with the reality of what actually being in a relationship with Gorou-via-Aqua would would actually mean. Because like, regardless of how you or me or anyone feels about incest as a fictional device, in-universe Oshi no Ko is essentially set in our own world - a dramatically exaggerated version with supernatural elements, sure, but still paralleling our own closely enough to comment on real world issues. For OnK to treat most of the other taboos and issues it addresses as seriously as it does and NOT do the same with incest would be incredibly jarring and deeply incongruous.

If you'll forgive a tangent within a tangent, this is a big part of why the infamous ending of Usagi Drop comes off as so fucking unhinged. It's not just that the story twists itself into a pretzel to hook up Rin and Daikichi (though, you know… that), it's that everyone in the cast acts like a fucking space alien on service of making it happen and it occurs with no conflict or consequences. There's this bizarre energy around the cast interactions that's hard to accurately convey, but every time someone in-universe finds out about Rin's feelings for Daikichi, it's immediately treated like them hooking up is not only the obvious and inevitable conclusion but that Daikichi is somehow obligated to enter a romance with Rin purely because she has feelings for him. Daikichi's own feelings on the matter are irrelevant. As far as the story is concerned, him going from seeing Rin as his daughter to seeing Rin (very explicitly and textual) as a romantic and sexual partner is as easy as flipping a switch and it's purely macho stubbornness that keeps him from doing so. It's absolutely mind boggling to read.

Anyway. Oh my God. To cut my EXTREMELY long rambling short and actually loop back around to the point of all this: Because of ^ ALL THAT ^ and the way the story has very conspicuously dodged around the HKAI breakup and suddenly swerved to 15YL's depiction of Ai's time in hospital, I'm still pretty certain that the "I can't love you (like that)" is going to be the main emotional capstone for Ruby's own character arc within the Movie Arc as a whole and possibly the emotional climax/resolution of wtfever OnK is doing with AQRB (& GRSR through them) right now. Given how much weight was given to that scene in particular way back when I'd be shocked if we skipped it and I do think there's some merit to the reads of Aqua and Ruby each paralleling the 'opposite' parent, so to speak - Nik (@akane-kurokawa) even pointed out in their 143 review that while the AquRuby kiss is paralleled by the in-movie HikaAi kiss, Aqua is in Ai's position and Ruby is in Hikaru's.

I do hope that this is something intentional and that we'll see something come of it - if nothing else, seeing Ruby have to deal with her relationship to and feelings about her father and the knowledge that he killed her beloved mom is something I really wanted out of the Movie Arc and I've been sorely disappointed by it being reduced to gag fodder thus far. But like I always say at this point, the Movie Arc is such an unfocused clusterfuck I have no idea if this is something we can rely on to be a long term theme.

[hchano]

Hi! I used to read Dream*Scar back when you basically just started on it - and I followed it for a long time before I dropped off for some reason (maybe you had a hiatus? I'm forgetful so that would explain it). I've been thinking of picking it up and read it again cus I loved it so much! And now I just realised I follow you on here, by complete coincidence - I didn't know I had randomly followed the creator of my all-time favorite webcomic. I'll take that a sign from the universe to definitely check your old and new stuff out. Your artstyle influenced me quite a bit back then, and I'm curious to see how it has developed. Have a great day! ^_^

😭 this always makes my heart really big. i hope ur still drawing and developing ur style! i think my art has improved over time, but not really changed too much overall. i haven't really been gunning to improve, just drawing whatever i feel like in the moment... which lately has been almost exclusively chibis 😂

also hhhh 🥲 i feel bad about d*s. i've gotten a lot of DMs asking if it's dead or if I'll update it soon etc, and I've said in the past i still had plans for it, but tbh life has kinda reared up, and a lot of emotional things have gone on that make me hesitant to return to it. a big part of that is honestly the fantastic racism aspects. i've grown a lot in the last 10+ years and when i think about that aspect of the comic, i feel very uncomfortable with it. i don't feel like it's something i can or was handling well, esp after the George Floyd incident, which obviously was not the first incident, but in the fallout, there was a big surge of amazing activists sharing their stories, and it exposed my naive white ass to exactly how bad systematic racism is. i feel like the handling of it in d*s is an afterthought, like the fact that it's not the main focus, it's just there... something about that sits wrong with me, and i don't feel like i can really portray it the same after gaining more understanding about it... if that makes sense.

like that ☝️ being the main reason, but also a lot of personal stuff going on in my life has made me distance myself a bit from the characters. i miss them, but interacting with them now is kind of painful. like i still draw them from time to time but the whole thing is sort of tangled with something really unpleasant now and it just makes it hard to feel the same way about it. it's complicated and depressing tbh 🥲

anyway, u did not ask for a ramble, I'm sorry 😂 it's just come up a lot this week and I'm finally accepting it 🥹 i won't be deleting the comic, it's still gonna be around for ppl to read if they wanna. but unless i can finish the story summary i was working on, it prolly won't have much closure 🥲

to maybe make this a lil less sad, here's some doodles of vix from last year lol

[ghostly-penumbra]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag, @summerssixecho!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Thirty-six as of now! Most of them are still from events (I put all the filled prompts in one work per event, don’t @ me), but when I really like one of these I post it as a stand-alone :) and I have a few fics outside events too! Woo!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

132,746 as of right now, but I’ll still finish Ectober so that’ll change quickly. (and as I said before, some fics I post "twice", in the event's work, and as a stand-alone)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Danny Phantom almost exclusively, the exception are the CrossOvers :p

I love The Sandman and Supernatural ones. I’m into DPxDC as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Seven Ways to Summon the Ghost King (1,187 kudos): Seven different ways in which a tired, stressed and sleep-deprived King of Ghosts can be summoned!

Results may vary.

Holiday Gift 2022 (439 kudos): ALL ghosts need to honour the truce. Including those who don't know they're considered part ghost.

Poison Blood and Weighted Crowns (408 kudos): The Justice League asked for help to the Ghost King.

The King demanded Jason Todd in exchange.

Jokingly, Robin accepted.

King Plasmius had the deal be honoured.

Ectober Week 2021 (365 kudos)

DannyMay 2021 (243 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments?

YUP. Sometimes I forget and only see it years later tho. But I do like answering comments so I try my best! If I don’t answer is ‘cause I can’t think of anything else to say but I still try! (I don’t really answer in FFN anymore tho, because I forget if I’ve already answered and I don’t remember how to check that, and I don’t want to accidentally answer twice lmao)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhh… not a big fan of angst, and even though I tried my hand at it in the past don’t remember where I put it anymore

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dragon :') Danny gets dental! (lol ok, I can’t really tell, idk)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My fics ain’t popular enough to get hate I believe lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LOL. I WROTE LEMON ONCE. YEARS AND YEARS AGO (almost ten year now. I was fourteen). After that, I haven’t, but I have an idea for a fic and if I actually get to write it I know it would be explicit.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

asdfghjjklñ I fucking love CrossOvers so much. I’ve written some "niche" ones but I believe the craziest/crackiest was Doors :))

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I know of. (Again, not popular enough lol)

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Other than ramble with the discord buddies, nope I haven’t.

13. What's your all-time favourite ship?

None tbh, I do like some ships but I’m aro and I don’t really have an OTP.

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Not much in the way of WIPs but I do have several plot bunnies I entertain before discarding.

On DPxDC I had a demon twin AU where Damian killed Danny as a kid with pressure from Ra’s al Ghul, and they met again after many years, with Damian as Robin and Danny as the Ghost King… and Danny didn’t forgive Damian. I had a lot planned and wanted to include a lot of worldbuilding, but ultimately I decided I couldn’t give Damian’s character justice as I was projecting heavily on my broken relationship with my abusive brother, and Damian deserved better than to be compared to my brother.

Also DPxDC, the aforementioned explicit work, which would be Danny/Valerie/Jason, with them dealing with being ecto-entities with the ecto-acts in place, Danny dealing with being King and trying to be an astronaut, Valerie coping with her feelings on her nature and her Wayne scholarship, and Jason being a crime lord with a family of vigilantes, and their broken yet existing relationships. As they navigated the complex ensuing dynamics, they dismantled the GIW and took down the Ecto-Acts.

I would also like to do more for Dragon, but I really don’t feel like it rn

16. What are your writing strengths?

Instrospection and mindscapes, if I can say so.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything that isn’t introspection and mindscapes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto :)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

aughdabdsufsda, I don’t really know, I love several of them for different reasons, but maybe Father and Sons? I love Clockwork and I love my Sandman crossovers, so I liked mixing both.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I encourage anyone to try! It was really fun!

[expressionbean]

an anonymous ask that got eaten when i posted a few minutes ago but was in my google docs as a backup (thank god):

"Please please forgive me if this is too forward, but your Carrd mentions that you have DID. I have OSDD myself, and I used to love roleplaying but ever since getting the diagnosis I feel like I have to choose one or the other because a lot of people think that CDDs are "roleplay" in and of themselves. Do you have any advice on how to get over that? Has the Tumblr roleplay scene been accepting? Do you often get fakeclaimed?

Thank you so so much for being here! I love your blogs and your writing. 💛"

hi anon! this is super super late, but i wanted to be thorough and i wanted to think carefully about what i say. i hope you're still around to see this and also, welcome to the RPC!

often, people do tend to think a lot of people with CDDs are "roleplaying". really, we're not, but that isn't what you came to ask.

and the stigma sucks, like it REALLY sucks. people with CDDs really aren't allowed to enjoy anything without a bunch of guys on reddit accusing us of literally whatever they can reach for. (usually faking or violence, but i digress)

i'm really still getting over a similar issue myself. it's so so so difficult to openly even enjoy a piece of media (including with other fans of a media), much less create anything and post it. i was formerly almost exclusively a discord and amino PM roleplayer - it's a small bit easier if i am not as open about what i'm doing.

i don't know how recent your diagnosis is (and it's none of my business), but i received mine years ago (2019 if i recall correctly) and it took until this summer for me to dip my toes into the water with the tumblr RPC. i can't remember exactly what compelled me to, but i ended up stumbling across my now-friend kira's blog. he seemed very friendly, so i sent an ask to go over what the heck i needed to do to get acclimated to the community.

i didn't really expect as kind of an answer as i got. i expected maybe some polite, generic thing but it was more than that. it was welcoming.

i was still scared though - i had a lot of things that were making me intimidated. i didn't have pretty formatting or stunning icons or banners or any of that stuff. i just had my writing, my amnesia, and my visual impairment.

and boy, did i not want my friends who know about my DID to know a damn thing about me having interests in media and, even more terrifying, my acquaintences in the RPC to know i have DID. i felt like i had to keep those two things almost totally separate, even though they're both pretty significant.

roleplay is an important creative outlet for me, but DID affects almost every facet of my life (as trauma disorders tend to do). it simply isn't sustainable to keep dividing myself up and hiding parts of myself from one group or the other out of fear of being judged.

i'm still working through that, in all honesty. my whole point in rambling is to show i relate hardcore to this ask, and i'm standing with you in solidarity.

anyway, i eventually (recently) decided enough is enough with being scared of a loud, shitty minority. it's not fair to let people who hate me just for existing dictate what i do for fun. identity politics and cringe culture should die.

i wouldn't tell people they're to be excluded from roleplay for being autistic or bipolar.

just the same, i don't really think it's a normal thing (even on reddit hate groups) for people to say i can't enjoy cooking because i have DID, or that i can't be a musician because i have DID.

roleplay is a hobby just the same as cooking or music, and DID is a mental illness just the same as bipolar. why shouldn't people be allowed to partake in their interests? just because strangers on the internet say not to for whatever ridiculous reason they've come up with on this fine saturday?

ultimately, they should! they should be able to appreciate and express all facets of themselves as freely or as privately as they want to.

obviously, i don't advise blasting your entire identity, location, etc. on tungle dot hellsite or anything unsafe like that, but you get my point.

your diagnosis is just words on paper - nothing's changed fundamentally except having a name for what's been going on. if you need permission, though, here it is: you are allowed to pursue things that bring you joy. you can make a blog and start roleplaying here. it's okay to do that. you are just the same as every other person here and just as worthy of writing with them.

as for more advice, here's some:

• the block button is to be used freely. liberally. you're the curator of your online space - it's fine to make it safe for yourself.

• the tumblr RPC, at least from what i myself have experienced from june 2022 until now, won't bite you. obviously, YMMV, but many people here are very kind and accepting. (staring lovingly at my "amestris no more" pals and all my other mutuals)

• i have not been fakeclaimed by the tumblr RPC from what i can remember. and personally, if it happens, i'd go to my favorite piece of advice: fuck 'em. no one behind a screen is going to know you better than you do! if someone's putting forth time and effort to hurt others, are their words really worth taking to heart?

• remember that it's your hobby, your writing, your space. you deserve that. do what you need to in order to make peace with those facts in yourself.

• remember that a hobby cannot invalidate you or take away what you've been through. hobbies are for your enjoyment.

• you can block triggering topics from appearing! i advise it.

• remember that there are people who will love you just for being yourself! i am one of them! i have so so so much love to hand out to people - please, come and write with me if things are compatible. i would love to see what you have. i'm sure my friends would too. you deserve a space here if you want one.

[secondcupforyou]

seventeen as texting habits (?) my friends and i have

disclaimer, this is purely for entertainment purposes and does not reflect who seventeen are as people.

warning! swearing

author’s note! this is literally just me being silly and means nothing, but i had fun. also!! another thing we do is use different hearts to react to messages, so i assigned them different hearts next to their name as i didn’t really know how else to incorporate that

seungcheol ❤️

spams at midnight when everyone else is asleep

note! this is either because of one person living in a completely separate time zone or because i dont sleep

gets “bullied” for texting too much

jeonghan 💘

turns embarrassing photos into stickers that are sent repeatedly

note! i swear like half of them are me and i dont know what that says about me

uses the goose emoji (typically when annoyed at something)

note! i dont know how it started but its never ending

note!🪿

joshua 🩵

completely forgets the group chat even exists, leaving them with well over 1k messages

note! please come home, we miss you

responds to a text that were sent at least an hour earlier even though the conversation topic changed completely

junhui 🤍

only comes in to rant about an obscure as fuck thing before dipping

low-key has a harem of people asking to kiss them

note! i know this isn’t really a habit, but this is like a good half of what we talk about??? somehow???

soonyoung 🧡

sends really short voice notes of just random noises

has had multiple (made up) affairs with the other people in the chat

note! it is both a spectacle and part of the harem thing

wonwoo 💜

rants about the books they’re reading

note! when these happen, we all sit around and give our opinions even though we have never read the book

always there, lurking

jihoon 🖤

info dumps about music that no one else listens to

note! sometimes its more thought out than normal

anime rants

note! only two of us actively watch anime and we have very wildly different tastes

seokmin 💛

texts in all caps half the time

note! we are all constantly screaming

changes the name of the group chat so much to the point where it has lore

note! in short summary: a bagel had an enemies to lovers arc with a baguette. there is much more to it tho

edit! i was just made aware that it was actually a pancake instead of a baguette but i swear there was a baguette that was a villain

mingyu ❤️‍🔥

constant talking about their celebrity crushes

gives up extensive updates on their working out goals/experiences

note! its gotten to the point where they are texting us while on a stationary bike?? i dont know what is happening on their end

minghao ❣️

calls everyone out on their bullshit

note! thank you <333 i think we would have lost our sanity completely without you

communicates via selfies

note! we have had full on conversations like this

seungkwan 💝

deletes their messages after getting embarrassed

note! it’s literally nothing bad lmao

sends voice notes of them doing karaoke

vernon 💚

does not know what is happening

note! neither do i tbh, save me

sends in a “song of the day”

note! no, we do not listen to each other’s “song of the day”

or at least i dont… oops

chan 💖

loses coherency after 7pm

communicates in polls where everyone else decides their life decisions

note! decisions have been made

mirajane’s rambles! did i post this to avoid my actual fic writing? yes. did i have fun with this? also yes. i will be trying to get my dino fic out soon though. hopefully. either way, i hope this makes sense?? some of these aren’t really habits but i dont really know what else to describe them as. it was also really hard to think of 26 total 😭😭

ooo and actually!! the heart thing i mentioned earlier is why i almost exclusively use the white heart emoji, so uhhh fun fact???

[arvinsescape]

Maybe tom being a huge jerk to reader, maybe fwb, so when they are fighting, he is saying some shit like: you need to get over this teenage crush of yours, like he's treating like an obsessive fan, and you talk back like: you know what? I feel so bad for your fans out there who have no idea how big of an asshole you are OMG YOU COULD CALL HIM A MOVIE STAR but like mocking you know?

A/N: This was the angst turned to fluff I didn't know I wanted!! Thank you so much for the request!! I hope you enjoy 💕💕

Warnings: Mentions of sex, Language.

It had become almost routine, he'd come back from filming, call you, fuck you and then be gone by the morning and you were tired, you truly were. It felt like an endless cycle, one you were growing tired of.

You'd been friends with benefits for a while, almost a year. You'd met him at a bar, you knew who he was, who didn't but that hadn't been what had attracted you to him. In fact, he pursued more than you did, but it never turned into anything more than a friends with benefits relationship.

"Tom?" You said, bodies both sweating as he rolled off you, discarding of the condom. He hummed for you to continue. "Do you ever get, I don't know, tired of doing this?" You asked as you twiddled your thumbs, staring at the ceiling.

"What? Having sex?" He asked.

"No, not the sex. Just, all it being is sex?" You asked timidly as he stood and pulled his boxers and jeans back on. He studied you for a second.

"I don't know what you want." He said, almost snapped. You grabbed your dressing gown that was at the side of the bed, standing as you watched Tom search for his t shirt. Pulling your dressing gown on you looked at him.

Of course over the year you'd developed feelings for him, fallen in love with him but now your heart needed to know if he felt anything for you, at all.

"Like, I don't know Tom. A relationship." You squeaked out the last part and he looked at you like you'd grown two heads.

"You knew what this was when we started." He said harshly, far more harshly than you'd expected. You were taken aback.

"No, I know but we've been doing this for ages now Tom. I was just asking." You tried to shrug off as you watched him pull his shirt over his head.

"Ah, I see what this is. You've got a bit of a crush?" He asked and you laughed lightly, trying to push down the hurt.

"Don't flatter yourself." You laughed as best you could and you watched as he approached you, placing a kiss to your cheek.

"Sorry love, I've gotta go." He said and before you knew it you heard your front door open and close.

It hurt, he wasn't like this usually, usually he'd stay, cuddle but in the month he's been home from filming it's like he's lost himself. He isn't as attentive, every fuck is rough and although you love it, you miss when he'd be gentle with you.

There was one occasion a couple of months back when you thought he might have felt the same, you were both a bit tipsy and he took it slow, it was passionate. It felt like something was there, unspoken emotions.

It was two days later when he turned up again. You were straddling him, kissing him as you took his top off and then you saw it and it brought everything into reality for you, into perspective. There was a love bite, on his chest that you didn't leave.

You moved off him as you ran your hands through your hair and huffed. You knew you weren't exclusive, you weren't that dim but it didn't make it hurt any less. You'd not slept with anyone in the last year and the stupid part of you thought he hadn't either. Idiot.

"Hey," he said as he kissed at your shoulder and you instantly shrugged him off. "What's wrong?" He asked and yo sighed.

"Nothing Tom, I just don't feel like it." You said and he kissed your shoulder again.

"Okay." He didn't fight you on why, you never needed to give a reason to him, no meant no. "Are you okay?" He asked as he watched you angrily wipe a tear away.

"I'm fine." You snapped and he thought for a second, you turned to look at him, he'd been quiet. You watched as he put two and two together.

"You're upset about the other day." He stated and you huffed.

"Can we just drop it?" You sighed, hanging your head.

"Y/N, you know we're not exclusive right?" He said and you felt tears again. "We can see other people?" He said and you sniffled, wiping at your tears before looking at him.

"Yeah, I know."

"You need to get over this crush you have on me." He stated and you didn't appreciate his tone, it felt condescending.

"You know what Tom, that's not exactly easy to do when I'm underneath you ninety-nine per cent of the time I see you." You snapped and Tom raised his brows.

"Y/N," he huffed. "I'm not yours okay, I told you what this was. If you caught feelings that's your problem." He snapped and you gasped.

"What has gotten into you?" You said in disbelief.

"Nothing. I'm not taking the blame because your feelings are hurt that I've seen other people." He said.

"You've never been this cruel." You said, sadness lacing your tone.

"You know what I think it is? I think you're one of those fans that obsesses over me. Next thing you're going to tell me is that you read fanfiction written about me." He mocked and your anger rose.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You shouted. "Get over yourself Tom, I knew who you were when we met, yes. But do not mistake me as some crazed fan." You snapped.

"Well stop acting like one." He shouted back at you.

"You know what? I feel bad for your fans out there that have no idea how much of a dick you are. How much of a, fucking." You stopped for a second as you thought. "How much of a fucking movie star you are." You watched as anger flashed in his eyes, you'd upset him. Good.

"You don't know what you're talking about, yes, we fuck but don't think for a second I can't find someone else to fill your spot." He shouted and you tried to hold onto your anger but you couldn't, nothing but sadness had set in.

"What happened to you Tom?" You asked, sadness lacing every word.

"Nothing, what are you harping on about?" He snapped and you couldn't help the tears, couldn't help the next words that fell from your lips.

"You've changed, you're not the Tom that left a month ago. You're not the Tom I fell in love with." You said into the quiet air and you could've heard a pin drop.

"You're, you, what?" He stumbled out as he approached you.

"Get out." You said, it was weak but you meant it, your heart was shattered, your emotions tired.

"Y/N/N." He said softly as he tried to take your hand in his but you snatched it away.

"Just get out, find someone to take my place because honestly? I don't want it." You whispered out as your tears fell faster, a sob racking through you. You needed to end this.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I was angry. I didn't know." He said and you wiped your nose, looking up at him, you saw something flash behind his eyes, something you couldn't read.

"Just please go home Tom." You said. "I just want to be on my own."

"I don't, it doesn't feel right to leave you." He said.

"Why?" You said, utterly defeated as you made your way into the bathroom, turning to look at him before you spoke. "You've been pretty good at it." You said before you shut the door.

**

Tom waited around for a good twenty minutes before you heard him sigh and leave. You'd not seen him for a month, no contact, he'd tried to call, multiple times actually and you'd declined every single one. Your heart still hurt but it held onto a hope that maybe he'd come back, but back as the Tom you fell for.

It wasn't so bad being in love with him then, he broke your heart but mended it all in one and if he did see other women in that time he never let it slip, never let you know.

After two more weeks of hearing nothing from him, you gave up. You heard frantic knocking at your door, it made you jump as you hastily went to answer it. What you were not expecting to see was a dishevelled Tom on your doorstep. It was almost mid night.

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing he said as he engulfed you in a hug, knocking you backwards into your flat. You'd missed him, missed having his arms around you.

"Tom?" You asked as he kicked the door shut. "What are you doing here? It's so late." You said, you were just about to go to bed yourself.

"I fucked up, I'm so sorry." He said, pulling back to take your face into his hands. "You were right, I was being a dick, I don't know what was going on with me. I've missed you, god, fuck I've missed you and I didn't mean what I said, I didn't mean any of it."

"Tom, it's okay." You smiled. "I shouldn't have let it carry on. I knew what you wanted from it. I know you don't feel the same and it's okay." You said as you placed your hands over his and you watched as he shook his head.

"I thought, I don't know. I took you for granted, that last month, after I got back, I took you for granted." He rambled and you furrowed your brows. "I never slept with anyone else, fuck I got drunk that once and let someone give me a mark but I never slept with her, everything she did felt off and I couldn't understand it." He was spiralling, rambling.

"Tom, slow down. What are you trying to say?" You said softly, trying to ground him as you squeezed his hands and brought them down to your sides.

"I'm trying to say, fuck, I'm trying to tell you that I love you too, I think I have for a long time, I just didn't want to admit it. But being away from you? I never want that again." He said and your heart burst in your chest.

"You keep me grounded, you always have. You're not afraid to call me out. You treat me like a normal human being, not a celebrity and fuck, I treated you so badly." He concluded and you smiled.

"You did." You said as you moved some hair out of his face.

"I'm sorry." He said in defeat. "I love you, I hope you haven't changed the way you feel about me?" He said, hope clear in his beautiful face.

"My feelings for you haven't changed but you have a lot of making up to do." You said and he smiled.

"I know. Anything, baby, whatever you want." He said and you kissed him, he pulled you against him, squeezing your waist as he kissed you like you'd disappear. You pulled back after a moment and looked at him.

"You could start by coming to bed," you said and you watched as he smiled. "I want a cuddle." You said, you didn't want to have sex with him, you wanted him to hold you and you had a feeling he felt the same.

"Yes miss." He said with a smile before picking you up, holding you close to him as he made his way into your bedroom and for the first time since he'd been in there, it wasn't to have sex. It was to hold you and he did, you had your Tom back and he wanted to stay.

[jotunn-loki]

loki’s experiment

FANDOM: marvel, mcu, loki: agent of asgard PAIRING: fem!loki x fem!reader (x male!loki a bit too) RATING: explicit, NS// FW!! WC: 2,815 WARNINGS/K¡NKS: clones, threesome, masturbation, light dom/sub, a heavy focus on breasts

SUMMARY: Lately, you've been questioning your sexuality, but Loki is there to help you learn more about yourself. And it goes much further than either of your expected.

A/N: for an anon request! note: the above gif is meant to be loki, not reader--reader always looks like you:)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“What’s on your mind, my dear?” asked Loki softly, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. You leaned into his touch, looking up at him with the hint of a smile on your face. Thoughts were whirling behind your gaze, and Loki could feel them, though he did not dare intrude into your mind.

“I’m just thinking,” you told him, shifting in the chair in which you sat, large and comfortable with a blue tasseled blanket hanging from its tall back.

Loki walked around it and sat on the armrest, his hand falling from your shoulder to your hand and clasping it tightly. “I can see that,” he said, clearly amused. “You’ve been staring at the same page in your novel for the past five minutes. You seem pensive.”

How could he know you as well as you knew yourself? It was eerie on occasion.

You couldn't help but laugh at his concerned gaze, green eyes locked on yours. “Please, tell me,” he said, and you sighed. “I’ve just been…wondering.”

He was silent, waiting for you to continue, thumb rubbing gentle circles into your thenar webspace.

“I just...I feel guilty.” It was true; guilt and something you couldn’t quite place—a mix between thrill and anxiety—gnawed at your gut. “I love you, Loki, but I’ve been feeling a little different lately. Or maybe longer than that...always? I don’t know. I just—I can’t help my thoughts when I’ve seen...well.” You swallowed, looking away from him. Holding his gaze was intoxicating, but it also caused a sliver of fear to jump into your stomach along with the already unfurling other emotions.

But immediately, a hand was on your chin, pulling your gaze back to his as Loki gripped your jaw just firmly enough that you obeyed and yet still gentle. “None of that, my love. You must tell me. There can be no secrets between us.”

You sighed, knowing he was right. “I think I like women. Or at least, I’d like to see if I do. I don’t really know.”

There. It was said. The words had left your lips, and you suddenly felt as if several weighty stones had been lifted from your chest. Breathing came easier.

“Oh, my dear,” Loki said, slinking down into the armchair beside you and forcing you to sit upon his lap. “Why would you be afraid to admit this to me? I love you no matter what. And as you know, I am attracted to all genders. Why would I not accept you?”

“It’s not that,” you said, pursing your lips. “I just thought that it might make things different between us. Because. I don’t know. It’s stupid.” You shut your mouth, unwilling to let your seamless rambling continue.

“It’s not at all stupid,” Loki whispered gently. “I understand. But…” his voice suddenly shifted, slower, heavier. You could already tell what was coming. “I think I can help you. That is, if you want to learn more about yourself.”

“What do you mean?” you asked breathlessly as his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. You could already feel your core blazing hot, and the lustful gaze emanating from those green eyes certainly did not help. And you already knew what he was proposing.

Loki grinned and his fingers twitched across your spine, sending another flare of heat to your pussy. “Why, I can shapeshift, of course. I’ve been using my male form for the past few years almost exclusively, but I’m ready for a change. So what say you?”

“I say yes,” you murmured, capturing his beautiful lips. They were warm and soft against yours, and as you kissed him, you could feel Loki’s body shifting beneath yours, hard planes of his chest felt through the thin tunic he wore filling out into large breasts and the narrowness of his hips softening to curves. Her stomach changed, as did her hair, lengthening from Loki’s shoulders down to her navel, and her face widening and rounding out. It was beautiful to feel against your body as you kissed her, hips rocking against her gently. “Loki,” you moaned, pulling away.

“Yes, my dear?” Loki asked, and her voice had changed, too. No longer was it the smooth richness you had come to love but something of a different sort, slightly higher, but retaining the signature low rasp she exhibited when you two were alone together. “Do you still want to do this?”

“Yes,” you said, more sure of yourself as the seconds passed.

“Good,” Loki said, harsh. Guttural. Her hands were suddenly at the hems of your clothing, ripping it from your body in a felled swoop. She was just as strong as she was in her male form, you found, and you could see her muscles rippling underneath the tunic. “Clothes,” you whispered, hands running across the seams, and Loki complied, magicking the fabric away.

You could barely breathe at the sight before you. Loki’s breasts were on full display now, perky and round and creamily pale with darkened areola and nipples. Hesitantly, you placed your hands upon them, and Loki pressed into you, moaning softly. “Please, my love,” she panted, bucking her hips against yours where they sat upon her. You felt the fabric of your underwear and hers suddenly melt away leaving you both naked.

It was a very different feeling than Loki in her male form, you realized. There was no hard, obtrusive cock that pressed against you, but there were so many more parts of her body that provided easy handholds for you to move your body against hers, rocking rhythmically as you desperately searched for friction.

“Bed,” you panted, and suddenly you were there, lying side by side on soft, green silk. It wasn’t long before Loki had easily pinned you down, her hair falling around her face and creating a barrier from the outside world as she stared into your eyes. As she leaned forward, you reached up for her breasts again...they were so perfect and soft, and as Loki’s hand reached your cunt, you let out a moan, surprised at the suddenness of it, and giving her breast a squeeze. She groaned and grinded against you, thumb still working miracles at your clit as her index and middle fingers slipped inside of you. The room was silent except for your dual heavy breathing; Loki fucking you with her fingers and playing with herself, your hands on her breasts, and her back arched like a dancer mid-leap.

“My dear, I’m so close,” Loki whispered after a moment, her voice breaking as she whined your name.

You could only let out a sound that was a mix between a moan and a sigh as her fingers curled tightly inside of you, bucking into her lithe hand. “Loki—I—”

You broke as she pressed her thumb tightly to your clit, body spasming and cunt clenching around her digits. “Loki!” you cried, “Oh, fuck—”

She didn’t reply, face tightly wound in concentration, long black hair plastered to the sides of her face with sweat.

Smirking to yourself, you rolled to the side, flipping Loki over so that she lay on her back, gazing up at you, almost surprised. Almost. From this angle, you could more easily administer to her tits, taking a hard nipple in your mouth and pulsing your tongue around it gently. You couldn’t get enough of her breasts, how supple they were, how deliciously large and soft...as your teeth nipped at her gently, Loki came around her fingers, mouth parted with a long sigh, and whined at the pressure of your mouth against her sensitive nipple.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” you heard her murmur once she’d come down from her high. A hand was on your head, stroking your hair gently. “My little darling, your tongue is Valhalla itself.”

“You can’t mean that,” you replied with faint embarrassment at her praise. But Loki only smirked, pursing her lips and raising one perfect eyebrow. “Well?”

“Well…?” you repeated, and Loki’s mouth quirked. You could tell that she was trying not to laugh, but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out what it was about.

Finally, Loki broke out into a light chuckle, her features shifting, cheekbones becoming more pronounced, jawline straightening, hair shortening. Everything else stayed the same, but her face had returned to the version of Loki that you were used to. The Loki that— oh.

You could be so unaware, sometimes.

“Yes. I suppose I do like girls,” you replied to her unspoken query, laughing along with her.

As you spoke, an idea formulated in your head, a slight whisper of something you hadn’t thought of before. “Loki?” you asked, quiet this time, hesitant to voice your mind.

“Yes?” her replied whisper was equally as quiet, but you could sense excitement buried within the one syllable. Lying in wait.

“What do I look like?” you murmured, caressing her neck with your nose, taking in every bit of her scent. You could already feel heat pooling at your core again, and it was all too easy to hoist yourself on top of Loki, grinding against her hips slowly. “What do I look like, when I’m with you like this?”

You leaned down to kiss her, sighing as she wrapped her hands around your back and guided your hips’ movement. “You’re beautiful, of course,” Loki said when you pulled away, still in that lust-filled rasp that you loved. “I never knew that Midgardians could be so enticing, and yet...here you are.”

You bit your lip at her proclamation, shutting your eyes. “I want to see.” It was almost a whine.

Then, suddenly, Loki’s lips were at your ear, though she hadn’t moved at all from below you. Another Loki was standing behind you, hands on your breasts, flicking at your nipples. Oh, you thought to yourself. Your provocation had worked; Loki had cloned themself.

“Hello, darling,” the Loki behind you purred, his voice much lower than that of the goddess below you. You shivered as a long finger of his trailed from your breast to just under your chin, suddenly jutting it upwards so that you met him eye to eye. He let out a little tsk, accompanied by a smirk. “I heard you wanted to see yourself.”

“I did. I do,” you replied, breathing shallowly. Below you, Loki’s hands wrapped around your thighs possessively, her lip curling. She had a plan, you were sure.

“I can show you,” the male Loki whispered, capturing your lips. It was pure bliss, still grinding against the plushness of female Loki’s skin while her clone fingered your tits with one hand and grasped your jaw in the other. You couldn’t help but moan, eyes fluttering closed.

When you opened them again, you were not in your body, or at least—you could see your entire self clearly from a foot away. “Is this better?” male Loki chuckled, and with a start, you realised that he towered over you and the original Loki, and you could only hear his voice from the ears of your body, your body on the bed, still fully unclothed.

And this you, your consciousness...it was disembodied, floating alongside the large bed, drifting in and out of the silky curtains. You had no sex or race or even gender, no nose or eyes or ears, no sense of identity that was tethered to the physical realm; you existed only in name, by your real body tethered to the world.

Your body, which was currently being preyed upon by the two Lokis. You could feel each caress, each kiss, and it was real, and it was you, but you watched only from a distance. As Lady Loki pressed you downward onto the bed cushion, flipping the two of you over from where you had pinned her down before, Prince Loki strutted around the bed, tutting when you let out a whine. “See how beautiful you are?” he asked, and you saw a smirk slide up his face. He was whispering in your ear, and you heard his voice there, but you could tell he knew that your consciousness was elsewhere.

“See?” he asked again, his voice lower this time, raspier. More dangerous. “Answer me, darling.”

“Yes,” you gasped, unable to say anything else. “I see—”

The words emitted from your mouth, but they seemed so far away. Lady Loki smiled and straddled you, plush lips closing around your left nipple and sucking gently. Your whole body shook; pleasure coursed through you, and Prince Loki, the clone—and yet, still Loki in their entirety—just stood there, watching, cock hard in his trousers and arms crossed with satisfaction. You saw him swallow, shift his weight, but he was the clone. There was nothing he could do aside from Lady Loki’s whims. And right now, she wanted you.

“Oh, my dear,” Loki rasped, staring into the eyes of your body, which was still shaking with pleasure on the pillows. “I just cannot get enough of you.” You saw the redness of her lips, swollen from kissing you, from tending to the aching and sensitivity of your breasts.

Then, Prince Loki was suddenly staring at you, your consciousness that floated within the sheer bed curtains, and you were hurtling through space, enclosed in a tiny scrunched fist. With a slight pop, you found yourself back in your body, Loki pinching at the curves of fat around your hips and stomach, drifting to your ass. “I want to see this up in the air, just for me,” she growled, and pulled herself from you.

A throne suddenly was conjured in thin air; Loki sat upon it, now clothed in a long gown, albeit scantily, for it was a light sheer green with golden shoulder plates as the only part that really hid her skin from view. There were a set of large golden horns upon her head, and a sceptre in her fist. Your mouth watered at the sight.

“Well.” It was a command, and you complied, placing yourself on your hands and knees with ass high up in the air as she requested. You could hear Prince Loki sighing from behind you, the shifting sound of his trousers opening, and felt the harness of his cock against your skin. “Put on a good show,” Loki said from the throne, slouching lower. Her hand had drifted to her sex, and she watched the pair of you intently with lidded eyes, currently adorned with shimmering golden shadow.

Prince Loki slowly slid inside you from behind, and you moaned at the sensation of being filled, wishing only that you could kiss him—or your queen upon the throne—as it happened.

From her throne, Loki chuckled. “I know what you want, darling,” she murmured, and within a second, a third Loki appeared, lying below you, with short cropped hair and fine features. They took ahold of your breasts and pumped them, but before you could respond, a fourth Loki appeared, taking your lips in theirs as they tilted your head upwards to them.

You were filled with sensation, every part of your body attended to by a Loki, hands and lips and cock...and eyes. As Prince Loki thrust into you again and again, making you shake and quiver, Lady Loki’s eyes locked upon yours, and in that moment, she was the only one there. Just Loki and you, enjoying a fun night together. Alone in her bedroom in the palace, exquisite wealth and comfort exuding from every crevice and curve of the entire...everything.

It was enough to make you temporarily black out as you came, violently gasping as you kept your eyes upon her, and a moment later, all the Lokis faded away, and so did her throne. It was just you and her again, lying on the bed. You both were a mess, cum and sweat all over, breathing slowly evening out.

“Well,” you muttered, trying to sound matter of fact. It failed, and you burst out into hysterical, post-pleasured laughter, arms flinging out to the side as you rolled onto your back. “I...didn’t think you’d go that far.”

“I never have, at least not during sex,” Loki admitted, smirking. “How was it?”

It had been fun, you realized, all the stress about your confusing feeling from recent weeks melting away. “I loved it,” you sighed. “And here is what I’ve realized, Loki.”

“What have you realized?” she asked, though from the tease in her tone, you suspect she already knew.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m bi or pan or whatever,” you said after a moment. “I don’t care. I just really fucking love you.”

Loki chuckled. “I’m so glad to hear it, my dear.” She leaned over you and pressed her lips gently to yours, chaste, sweet. “I love you, too.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A/N: requests are open! reblogs & comments are appreciated. as always, I reply from @darkalinas​ :) send an ask to join my taglist!

[shinidamachu]

Thank you for your analysis I enjoy reading that. I hve slightly disagree on the previous post you make on Kagome. You stated that “Inuyasha was going to set her free but Kagome choose to stay”. I think it’s not that simple. In the manga and anime Inuyasha himself saying that him too want to see her. Even when Miroku Sango ask him to have clean break up the gesture from Inuyasha that he does not want to break up but he can’t also be selfish to hurt Kagome. I find Kagome have superhuman level of understanding and endurance, he sacrifice so much and ask so little. Just being with Inuyasha is enough for her she don’t ask anything in return. That’s love ... all she want is Inuyasha to live and be happy, smile a lot, she love him of who he is, she like his flaw his strength and ask nothing in return. That’s why I like Kagome. If Kagome not stepping up and they end up separate both of them will not be happy in their own world. Sometime when we love someone we don’t calculate what we gain from relationship because we not asking anything in return but the person we love to be happy. This is just my humble opinion.

Thank you so much! I'm over the moon that you enjoy reading my ramblings. And I appreciate your input as well!

It was never my intention to imply it was simple. Especially when people trying to reduce the whole thing to a black and white, uncomplicated situation, it's a huge pet peeve of mine. I agree with you. It was anything but.

It doesn't change the fact that he was going to set her free and she decided to stay, though. I don't think these affirmations are mutual exclusive, I just happened to not have focused specifically in this aspect of it in my last post, but I can do that now, piling on what you already said to make my instance known, since we actually agree that it was complicated.

Of course Inuyasha wanted to see her again. It was obvious from very early on the story that he wanted Kagome by his side. We were shown this much through his actions alone, but he even says it in no uncertain terms, at some point.

See, it’s precisely because he wants her to stay that letting her go is so difficult and meaningful. If he wasn’t reticent about it, if he wasn’t struggling with the decision, if he wasn’t still holding on so tighly, then ultimately deciding to do the right thing by her, which he did, wouldn’t have any emotional weight or narrative impact.

And sure, Shippo, Miroku and Sango were right to ask him to set Kagome free, their insistence was probably what speed up things on that regard. However, we know Inuyasha. It’s actually very in character for him to do the exact opposite of what he is told to do. If, deep down, he didn’t think they were right, he wouldn’t have done it.

Personally, I think he would have chosen to let Kagome go even if their friends hadn't intervened. He knew how fucked up the situation was and, just like you said, he knew he couldn’t be selfish with Kagome. But regardless, he did walk to the Well with every inttention to let her go. And what does he find?

The thing is, people often act like Inuyasha didn’t have any regard for Kagome’s feelings, almost like he wanted to break her heart. And this couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was trying to do his best with the bad cards that he have been dealt and it mostly blew on his face in the end, but he did feel bad for hurting her.

He knew he wanted her to stay. He also knew it was impossibly selfish to ask her to, so he never does. But he doesn’t have to. She decides to stay, despite everything. And this is a part of why I love their relationship so much: they always put each other’s happiness first.

Inuyasha wanted her to stay, but he needed to let her go for her own sake. And Kagome wanted to have a romantic relationship with him, but she needed to be a part of his life even if just as a friend. They put aside what they truly want to prioritize each other’s well being and meet half way, pushing each other’s character development in the process.

[postwarlevi]

Chaise

Content- You and Levi try to spend some time together during your busy days.

an- About 2500 words, don't know how. Is this okay? Don't feel like it's my best but I do like this idea of the chaise. :)

"Hey Captain!" You smile when you see Levi in the hall.

"Morning." He greets, stopping in front of you. "I'm sorry, I can't do breakfast, still behind with work." He's already grabbed a breakfast sandwich to eat in his office.

You frown. "Oh, that sucks." You've already rescheduled twice this week.

"Sorry." He says sincerely, kissing your cheek.

"It's not your fault." You reach for his hand and he gives yours a quick squeeze before saying he'll see you later, heading off.

You are always respectful and use his title in public even though you've been openly dating for a couple months now.

You'd spent the months before getting to know each other professionally and started gravitating towards one another outside work.

It started with things like small talk while eating in the mess hall, you two being the last ones to leave some days. There were times you didn't notice until after the fact that everyone else was gone.

It continued on the outside, sometimes with Levi offering to accompanying you on errands even on his off days, or seeking each other out during group events.

It was even noticeable to others how close you were getting before he finally decided to officially ask you out.

However now that you are exclusive it seems that lately you are actually seeing less of each other. You know it can't be helped but still miss one another.

"Hey!" Connie waves to you, patting the seat next to him. "Thought you were hanging with Captain this morning?" That is obviously not happening as you have a tray of food with you.

"Me too." You say, dejected.

"He bailed again?" Sasha asks.

Jean nudges her. "Sasha, he didn't bail." He knows not on purpose, at least.

"Work, you know."

"That thing that keeps keeping you apart." Sasha says matter-of-factly.

"Well, what are you doing today?" Connie asks.

"Nothing, for a while." You actually have some free time.

"Hang with us!" Sasha says excitedly.

"She doesn't want to hang with us!" Jean rolls his eyes.

"Yes I do." They're your friends.

"No, you want to hang with your boyfriend."

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't-" You get cut off.

"So go hang out with him!" Jean says, as if it's an option.

"He's working."

"He's doing stupid paperwork in his office. Just go sit with him." Jean is sure Levi won't mind you being there and then technically you'd be spending time together.

You think about it while eating and talking with the other three.

Soon they're off and Jean tells you again to go find Levi. He knows it's been hard for you two to find time together.

Now here you are, knocking on Levis office door, just wanting to see him and hoping he won't mind. You've been here before but not for personal reasons.

"Come in." He says automatically.

You step in and close the door behind you, waiting for him to look up.

"What do you..." Levi trails off when he sees who it is. "Is everything okay?" He's up out of his seat.

"Yeah, of course." You hurry and say. You aren't expecting his reaction but you almost smile at seeing the concern.

"So, what's going on?" He's confused to see you, as not that long ago he told you he was busy.

You feel a bit foolish and don't know what to say.

Levis features soften when he sees you struggle and he comes from behind his desk to lead you to sit with him on the chaise lounge. He had requested it a while back instead of a regular chair so he could cat nap during busy times.

"What's wrong?" He asks, hand on your back.

"I just, want to see you. I don't mean to be clingy. I know you're working but one of us is always working and I'm so very happy with were we're at but we haven't even really talked lately."

Now you're rambling on as he's trying to shush you.

"It's fine. You're not clingy. I miss you, too." Levi likes hearing that you want to be with him. He wants nothing more than to shove all the papers out the window and go sit outside with you.

You sigh and lean your head on his shoulder, making him smile. "I'm sorry I interrupted your work. Can I help with anything?" You offer, at least trying to be useful.

"No, no. I know you got up early, why don't you just rest? You can stay here. I don't mind." It's to the point that you're both so tired at the end of the day you barely see each other then, either. He knows you would still be sleeping if it wasn't for him.

"Is it okay? Can I get you anything at least?" You pull back to look at him and he brushes your cheek with his thumb.

"Of course it's okay. I have everything I need." He leaves a kiss on your forehead. How could this man that people were terrified of leave you with butterflies every time?

Levi goes back to his desk while you curl up on the lounge. It seems strange and it takes you half the morning to get comfortable.

Levi sees this but doesn't say anything. Every once in a while you catch each others eye, and you keep looking away, feeling like a distraction.

At some point you've fallen asleep and Levi is glad to see you're able to and eventually he gently shakes you awake.

"Hey, it's almost lunch time. Don't you have somewhere to be soon?" He asks when you open your eyes. He would've let you sleep otherwise.

"Oh!" You sit up suddenly, blinking a few times. "Yeah, sorry. Was I asleep?" You must have been more tired then you realized.

"You can sleep in here anytime." You were never a bother to him.

He pauses his work, wrist hurting from all the writing anyway, so he can walk with you to get a bite to eat.

After grabbing your trays you set them on a near table. You go to sit down but pause when Levi does not.

"I should go eat in my office. There's still so much to do."

"So I am a distraction?" You're partly playing.

"Never." He tells you, reaching out a hand to pat your head, making you smile at least.

"I can't stop thinking about what you said, and I know we haven't even had a decent conversation lately." He says.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything." You hadn't meant for that to come out.

"Well, I'm glad you said it, anyway. You're not wrong."

"I know it's just work."

"I hate that it's getting in our way. We have my favorites talks, I could do it for hours." In fact, you had, which was part of what you were missing. "When you're done, stop back by, okay? If you're not too tired. It's okay if it's late, I'm gonna try to get ahead on things."

If for now the only place you can meet is in the hallways or in his office then that's what you would take.

"I wouldn't miss it." You promise.

Before parting Levi pulls you in for a hug, and your arms wrap around him right there in the mess hall.

"You're the best type of distraction." This makes you chuckle.

You continue your day and it is late before you finish with everything and you take a quick shower before going to see if Levi is still active.

You knock and wait for an answer, pushing the door open and giving a light gasp.

Levi is sitting in his chair with a book, and you see he's been waiting for you.

The room is dark and both the lounge and desk have been pushed back so a blanket could be laid out on the floor with extra pillows set up. There's flowers at diagonal ends and tall candles across from them, a couple plates of petit fours in two spots and tea is set up for both of you on a tray in the middle.

"Hey." Levi greets, hoping you like the spontaneous late night date.

"Expecting someone?" You joke, but are very surprised and don't hide your smile.

He walks over and shuts the door behind you. "Actually, yes." Your eyes widen when his hand grips your neck and suddenly he's giving you your most tender kiss yet. Your fingers reach up to circle his wrist so it doesn't knock you off your feet.

Levi barely pulls away. "I've missed that."

You just hum, and Levi isn't sure if your cheeks are heating up or it's the candle light giving you this color, but you're attractive either way.

He sets you in your spot before sitting across from you, and you share tea and dessert until almost dawn.

The conversation is not littered with insignificant gossip but finally consists of thoughts and ideas, things you would like to do going forward, both in life and with each other. It's easy and neither of you hold back. You support each other, listen, ask questions, share any worries and even challenge one another, ending by making sure the other knows you fully accept them. This is exactly what you've both been wanting.

"To think, we were almost stuck in a rut already." You grin.

Levi smiles back. "Can't let that happen." This was now his absolute favorite night.

After cleaning up there's just enough time for maybe a couple hours sleep, one more sweet kiss before going to your rooms.

You're both still very busy, and you steal simple moments together in passing in crowded hallways or in the yard if Levi is going out on patrol. Even these small things confuse people, seeing Captain Levi being affectionate, but the ones that know you think it's pretty cute that you are happy together.

It's to the point that Levi has set up daily naptime for you on his chaise whenever you have some time. He wants you there and you want to be there. Reading, sleeping, just being near him. There's a blanket and extra pillow always ready, and he's even rearranged both the lounge and his desk to have you closer to him, making it easier for him to lean over for a quick kiss or shoulder rub.

It's true that you really do distract him when he notices how adorable you are when falling asleep or now that he takes a little longer lunch then before so he can talk with you. It's not as intimate as date night, but it's still nice. He assures you he works better now that you at least get to see each other some.

He manages a few minutes to doze off himself at times, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up by yours. It's not the best position, but it does the trick. It makes your heart happy when you wake with his legs tangled with yours, trying not to disturb him with movement because you know he won't be asleep for long.

Some days you fall asleep waiting for Levi to come back from whatever assignment Erwin has given him or don't get any time at all together because Hange has requested you for longer than usual.

"It looks like we can get away tomorrow, for a little while at least." He tells you one day.

You groan. "I'm on duty with Sasha tomorrow."

This was getting almost laughable. Neither of you can believe your luck. You're starting to believe it'll be office interactions forever.

"We'll see about that." Levi has finally snapped and tells you to stay here while confronting Hange about your schedule, and Erwin about this own.

Though you both relish the part of your routine that gives you some quiet time together, he needs it to be outside this office.

"Erwin! I'm done, you understand me? No more damn paperwork, no patrol, you get someone else tomorrow." He's dead serious, bursting into the commanders office.

Erwin knows he's been giving his most trusted comrade a lot of tasks, but they need to be done and Levi always seems up to it.

"Okay Levi, that's fine, whatever you need." He now sees the toll it is taking and doesn't want it to get worse.

"Hange! Sasha is going to need another partner tomorrow!" Levi tells the one he's usually paired up with during missions after finding them.

"What? But, I need-" Hange doesn't get far.

"Better start looking!" He's already walking away.

You help Levi get the remaining paperwork in order and both call it an early night to prepare for a day out together.

The next morning you've slept a little later than usual since you have the whole day to yourselves. You put on the dress you had on the first time Levi asked you out. He brings you a box of your favorite cookies and gives you a good morning kiss.

"You look beautiful." This might be his favorite dress you own.

"You look pretty handsome yourself." You always think Levi looks quite dashing.

On your way to grab a quick breakfast you run into Jean.

"You owe me." He's offered to help Miche with anything Levi hasn't finished.

"I'll make it up to you." You give him a quick hug.

"Have fun today."

"Thanks! And, tell Connie thanks too, yeah?" You think Hange will regret putting him and Sasha together, but that's not your worry.

Levi nods to your friend as he puts his arm around you, leading you out.

Levi doesn't scare Jean as much as he used to now that you're with him.

"Kirstein!" Miche, however, is a different story.

Your day is full with a long trail walk and Levi rowing you around the lake in a kayak. He's set up outdoor picnic lunch and when you finish you lay together on a blanket and continue your intimate talk. A flock of ducks invades the area and you give them scraps before Levi starts shooing them away when there is no more and they start to make a mess. On the way back you stop for ice cream and watch a group of kids enjoying the park, getting on the swing set yourselves at one point.

Later, the pillow and blanket still stay on Levis office chaise for impromptu afternoon nap sessions, and he gets sad when you're too busy to stay. When you aren't too tired, there's more late night tea talks too.

Your outdoor adventures also continue, with your superiors making sure to give you days off together now.

a/n- This was not the original idea and I kept trying to fix it but kept straying further and just wanted an ending. Hopefully it turns out okay anyway and I'm just overthinking. Maybe we'll turn date day into a fic. Working on the original idea and something else I think will be A++

[soulmate-game]

Can you do a prompt of Marinette being the daughter of the Joker and Harley but Harley left him before Marinette was born and when Joker found out about his daughter He decided to kidnap Marinette so she can become like him (Ace chemicals) (Daminette)

Woot, my first ask in a while! Let’s see how I can do this oddly specific ask that reminds me of a fic that might actually exist but tbh I’ve read so many fanfics idk if my brain is remembering right

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette knew Sabine and Tom weren’t her biological parents. She had known ever since she was eight, when her mother by blood visited her for the first time, sat her down, and explained everything. Including, but not limited to, her disastrously toxic past relationship, her new girlfriend, and her recent success with long term rehab (unofficial rehab that mostly consisted of illegal anti-hero actions, but hey if it worked it worked).

Marinette understood. Well no, she really didn’t since she was only eight, but she understood that her mom— that Harley— was genuine. She had always had a knack for emotions and telling when people were sincere or not. And Harley really was regretful about not being in her life beforehand, and was serious about wanting to be part of her life now that her own was mostly sorted out.

So Marinette was not surprised when Harley really did stick it out. When Harley cooed over Marinette copying her hairstyle to show her support of her biological mom, when Harley never failed to call at least once a week even if she was in jail for punching some asshole or another. Harley never stayed arrested long anymore, she was usually found to be on the right side of the moral scale more and more often so the police didn’t bother keeping her locked up anymore. Through the years, Marinette always looked forward to her mom’s calls. Looked forward to being lulled to sleep by one crazy story or another from her mother’s past. Everything was nice. Perfect, even, for a while.

A thump sounded from her balcony, one late night when Marinette was thirteen. Blinking, the dark haired girl furrowed her brows. Who would be on her balcony? Cautiously walking towards the trap door leading to it, grasping her metal pencil holder as a weapon (she remembered all of her Mom’s stories about break-ins and random attacks back in Gotham), the teen strained her ears. Akuma attacks were only a few months old now, but she had already become in high alert for any sign of Hawkmoth or his victims. As per usual, Marinette’s paranoia began to kick in. Did Hawkmoth already figure her out? Was he here for her earrings? Would she be able to fight him?

She gently pushed up the trap door, catching a glimpse of black leather. Huh? Marinette narrowed her eyes, confused. Was it Chat? He should have been on patrol, on the other side of the city. What was he doing visiting her?

Suddenly the trap door yanked the rest of the way open, making Marinette yelp as the handle for it rugged away from her fingers. And there, backlit by the pure blue-white moonlight, was Not Chat Noir. It was Catwoman, in all her skintight black leather glory, grinning at her before pushing her cat-eye goggles up to the top of her head and crouching down by the trap door’s entrance, balancing only on the pads of her feet.

“Well hello there~” the woman purred. “So you’re the cute little kitten Harley is so secretive about. Nice to finally meet you,” the woman held out a hand, sending Marinette a sweet, if mysterious, smile. For a while, the pigtailed girl only stared before a squeal of excitement left her throat, leaving very little room for any doubt as to her bloodline. A large smile curled over Marinette’s lips, leaving her beaming widely at the catlike woman on her balcony.

“Auntie Selina! Mom’s told me so much about you! Come in, come in, come in! I’ll sneak some macaroons up for you. Or do you prefer croissants? What’s your favorite flavor? Are you really dating Batman? Oh my goodness, that necklace is so lovely! Did you steal it?”

Selina could only chuckle fondly at the word vomit, letting the smaller girl drag her down the trap door and into her very… pink room. Looking around, Selina was once again slapped with just how similar this kid was to her outgoing friend. Marinette clearly had no shame in indulging in the things she liked, such as the color pink and anything regarding fashion. But there were other things amongst the girliness of the room, like the posters of Jagged Stone and the training dummy half-sticking out of her closet door. There were a few ornamental knives hung up behind her computer, seemingly just for decoration although Selina could see that they were definitely battle ready and sharpened. A small mallet, clearly a miniature replica of her mother’s own signature weapon, leaned up against the side of the girl’s laundry basket. But then there was Marinette’s mannequin, which was surrounded by meticulously cut pieces of cloth and had other pieces pinned to it strategically. Marinette clearly had the same professionalism and love for her chosen career that had so completely defined Harley in the Time Before Joker. The same genius intellect hiding in those deceptively cheerful bluebell eyes. And for the first time, though not for the last to be sure, Selina found herself thoroughly relieved that it seemed Marinette had inherited very little from her father.

Except, as she would learn from stories Harley told her later, an apparent affinity for chaos.

“I’m not that picky, kitten. But I’m not that hungry, so don’t go too out of your way,” Selina decided to just react the same way she did with Harley’s rambles, and answer one question at a time. “Also, I am actually dating Bruce Wayne. But, if you promise not to tell anyone—“ she waited for Marinette’s eager nod before continuing casually, “— the two are maybe not as mutually exclusive as many think,” Selina finished with a conspiratorial wink. “No, I actually did not steal this necklace. Bruce has been adamant in trying to curb me of my thieving habit by buying me almost everything I so much as glance at sideways. It’s sweet. Naive, because I like stealing for the fun of it, but sweet.”

Marinette giggled, bouncing in place happily. She loved a bit of innocent gossip like this. “Is Momma Ivy ever gonna visit? I don’t think Mom told her much about me yet, and I still gotta give her the shovel talk!” the fierce look that overcame Marinette’s face made Selina laugh again. Oh yes, definitely her mother’s daughter.

“Pam has been trying to sneak over, but the laws regarding Metahumans in Paris suddenly got much stricter a few months back and have caused some problems. You wouldn’t happen to know what happened, would you?” Selina did not miss when her seemingly innocent question caused her niece to close off almost instantly. Bluebell eyes took on a familiar guardedness, and scanned her with the same soul-searching intensity that Harley had when she was channeling her Psychiatrist side. Selina found herself in a slightly concerning spot though—

Because she couldn’t predict Marinette at all. She was left to simply stand there as Marinette searched for some unidentifiable thing in her eyes, completely unable to read the younger girl’s face and with no idea of what to expect. The side effect of having chaos so thoroughly entwined in both of her biological parents, she supposed.

“Nope, no idea.”

Selina knew that was a lie, but knew equally as well that she would not be getting a better answer anytime soon. So, she let it go and the two of them once again dipped into innocent chatter.

Later that night, when Selina left and the sun threatened to rise at any minute, Tikki flew up from her hiding spot under Marinette’s pillow to land on her holder’s shoulder. Marinette giggled and looked over at her little friend.

“Tikki?”

“Yes, Mari?”

“Why was I chosen to be your holder?” She asked suddenly, flopping back into her bed and staring at her ceiling. The little goddess hummed, smiling knowingly before flying down to cuddle in the crook of Marinette’s neck.

“Because you are born from luck itself. Even when bad things happen, you have the luck and determination to get out just fine, and stronger than before. And despite the destruction and anarchy in your blood, you have the willpower to reign it in and keep control of yourself. That’s all order really is, Marinette. The decision to take all the chaos and madness around us, and make it make sense. Make it do something good. And that’s a large part of who you are, I could feel it in your soul the moment we first met.”

Marinette closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. “What if I lose control?”

“... You’ll just have to get it back. It’ll be hard, but as long as you have people to support you, you will be able to do it. You aren’t evil, Marinette,” the small God seemed to sense the true question her holder was asking, and did her best to soothe the doubt the girl felt. “Just remember the reasons you fight against chaos. Remember everyone you love, and you’ll be okay. And you have me, I’ll always help you.”

“... thank you, Tikki.”

—*—*—*—*—*

“He’s going to find out, Mom.”

“No he won’t, don’t be silly! I’ve been very careful about hiding you from him, Nettie-pie.”

“Mom… I just have a bad feeling. I don’t think we can hide who I am from him. If he sees me, I think he’ll know.”

The phone went silent.

“If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. If I was crazy about him, Sugar, then I’m head over heels for you. Not even he can stop me from caving his skull in if he tries his usual tricks with you.”

“... My plane leaves soon, I’ll talk to you when I land. And mom?”

“Yeah, honeycake?”

“I love you.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was uncanny just how often Marinette’s hunches were right. Her intuition was something to behold, truly, because it only took three days in Gotham before Joker snatched her right out of her room at Harley and Ivy’s apartment. At least Marinette had sixteen by then, so she had had enough experience as a hero in Paris and with generally unpredictable situations and people who were absolutely nuts for her to not immediately panic. Too much, anyway.

Because there was definitely a little panic there.

See, Marinette knew herself inside out by then. After her own battle with her toxic feelings towards Adrien and doing her best to heal from those before she turned out like her mom, she knew she was by no means mentally indestructible. Mental illness ran the high risk of being inherited, and Marinette was well aware that her own personality was scarily similar to her mother’s at times. She got attached quickly, felt affection and love for others very strongly and, as she found with Adrien, could easily become obsessive if she didn’t watch herself. At least Harley was the perfect person to help with that, and Marinette was serious about helping herself too. She did everything she could to keep an eye on her mental health and keep her behavior in check so she didn’t do anything too unhealthy with her relationships again.

But she knew, she knew she had a soft spot for family. She got attached too easily. And being in the same room as her biological father, despite being tied up by her hands and feet and knowing just how many unforgivable things he had done in his life, Marinette felt vulnerable. She didn’t want to hurt him, despite everything. She still loved him, despite every reason not to, despite her first meeting with him being with him shoving chloroform over her face and hogtying her to a metal chain dangling over a vat of acid.

Geez, she’d need more than just her mom as a therapist after this for sure. Even if her mom had a PH.D, Marinette felt like she’d need several psychiatrists to sort through her emotional turmoil right then and make sense of any of it.

Marinette licked her lips, aware that the only kindness that Joker gave his daughter was sparing her from the discomfort of being gagged.

“Don’t,” Marinette said, surprising herself with the amount of steel she was able to put into her voice. Somehow, she managed to make the single word sound more like an order than a plead. “Joker, put me—“

“Ah-Ah-Ah!” The clown walked over, tutting and waving his finger in the air in almost playful admonishment. He gave her a dramatically fake pout. “Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to refer to your father by his first name?” Neither of them mentioned that Joker was definitely not his real name. They both knew the point was moot. “Say it with me now— ‘Daddy dearest, I am more than willing to be dunked in acid for you,’ go ahead, say it.”

Marinette’s jaw clenched. Familial love or not, she would not tolerate being ridiculed like that. She dealt with enough ridicule when she was fourteen and fifteen during school, before she put Liar Rossi in her place. She had spent the past three years as a hero in charge of the war against Hawkmoth, in charge of protecting all of Paris from an emotional terrorist.

And gee, wasn’t that what Joker was, too? Sure, he was a terrorist in the classic meaning of the word as well, but he was nothing if not a skilled manipulator. He knew the human mind just as well as Harley or any other psychiatrist did, he just used his knowledge for different means. He had emotionally abused Harley for years, he emotionally abused and manipulated people all across gotham on a daily basis. He was just another Hawkmoth, but with more physical violence in place of magic.

With these thoughts strengthening her resolve, Marinette narrowed her eyes at the man who donated half of her DNA. She let her anger boil into her irises, hitting him with one of the few traits she knew she inherited from him.

Her ability to intimidate others on the tip of a hat.

“No,” she growled back at him. She took a deep breath. It had taken her a while, but she refused to be ashamed of who she was regardless of her blood relation. She would have no problem using the very things she inherited from Joker against him. She might have gotten most of Harley’s personality, she might have inherited her mother’s habit of falling in love hard, fast, and obsessively, but she also had Joker’s defiance. His bone-deep inability to be stopped from doing exactly whatever the fuck he wanted.

And then, there were Marinette’s own traits. The ones that were completely her own, developed over her life organically. Like her refusal to bow down to bullies, her creativity, her ability to take even the most chaotic situation and see some sort of balance and sanity in it that she could use to her advantage.

That she WOULD use to her advantage. The shadows she saw move out of the corner of her eye gave her the chance to do exactly that, she just needed to buy a few more seconds. Just a few more seconds.

“Excuse me?” Joker growled right back, his own intimidation, honed over more years than Marinette had been alive and thus much more potent than her own, reading its ugly head as he stalked towards her. His face was pulled down into an ugly snarl, his shoulders tensed and back straight as he glared right at her. From his spot on the metal walkway, he was easily able to reach over the railing and grab her chin in one pale, viciously strong hand. “I think you’re misunderstanding something here, little Marionette. I’m your father. Half of your life came directly from ME. That makes you my puppet. You exist to follow my orders,” his right grip suddenly let go, leaving behind the beginnings of a bruise as his entire demeanor changed from angry to cheerful. He spread his arms as if gesturing to the whole chemical plant victoriously, and an unnaturally large smile curved over his lips and bared yellowing teeth at her. “But that’s okay. I’ll forgive you this time, you haven’t learned any better yet. That’s why we’re here. We need to cleanse you of all those icky bad habits you’ve learned up until now, all you need is a little,” he bounced in place with a wicked smirk to illustrate his next words— “jumpstart. A little acid goes a long way to enlightenment you know, you’ll see my side of things in no time. And with my blood in you, you’ll make a better sidekick than that idiot Harley ever did. I can sense it, you’ve got a real talent for Chaos in you, it’s exciting, Heheeeheheee! Now then, we should probably speed things along before our family reunion is cut short. Hang in there, my little Marionette,” the man actually had the gall to spin in place while humming a tune cheerfully before all but dancing over to the lever that held Marinette’s length of chain in the air over the vat of chemicals below her. “Everything will clear up in that little head of yours in just a second!”

There! Right as Joker pulled the switch to lower her into the bubbling vat underneath her, Marinette was able to finish untying her hands. She couldn’t contain a small yelp as gravity flung her body forward, leaving her upside down on the chain for a brief moment. That was when the chain started lowering rapidly, and Marinette was barely able to rip the rope off of her ankles in time to swing off of it and onto the metal walkway that came up right next to the giant metal container of liquid death and insanity. Joker had barely enough time to shout in rage before the windows near the ceiling shattered, admitting the city’s vigilantes themselves. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Robin, and evening Black Bat all landed on the same metal platform above Marinette’s head that Joker was still on, buying the teen time to start running. But she didn’t go towards the exit right away, instead heading right up the stairs into the thick of the fight. Robin briefly separated from where Joker was managing to hold his own, goons flooding from side doors to inhibit the heroes in their attempt to bring their boss down.

The katana-using vigilante kept one eye on Marinette the whole time, suspicious of why the girl would come back up if not to help her father. But that wasn’t what she did, instead she flipped and kicked and punched her way through the quickly growing sea of Joker thugs until she reached a small pink purse that had been abandoned near the lever that had nearly sent her into liquid insanity. Three thugs surrounded her right as she snatched the purse up and slung it over her shoulder, but Robin barely had the chance to head over before she was heaving the men, who were all easily three times her size, over her shoulder and was slamming elbows into soft spots and the side of her hand into pressure points. By the time Robin got to her side, all three men were unconscious and bound to wake up in utter agony.

Marinette glanced up, getting ready to haul Robin over her shoulder as well before she realized who he was. She let her shoulders relax just a tick, sighing in relief before returning her eyes to scanning their surroundings. She shot him a brief grin.

“Good thing my adoptive mother, Mom, Momma Ivy, and Auntie Selina all made sure I knew how to take down a small army on my own, huh?” She asked rhetorically before they were both unceremoniously dragged back into the giant brawl.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Nettie-pie!”

“Marigold!”

Harley and Pamela Quinzel-Isley shoved down anyone and everyone who dared block their direct path to their daughter. The girl of the hour stood next to the bat clan, a shock blanket held tightly around her shoulders as she did her best to finish her statement to both the vigilantes and Commissioner Gordon.

“You untied yourself… from a ship-grade knot in high quality rope… with a phone charm?” They heard Gordon ask incredulously, to which Marinette could only give a lopsided smile. That was when her mom and stepmom crashed into her, enveloping her in a nearly suffocating hug.

“Gah— mom— momma Ivy—“ Marinette flailed in their arms for a bit before finally getting her head free and continuing her statement as if she didn’t have two of the most dangerous women in the city still giving her a bone crushing hug. “That’s better. Yes, Commissioner. You see, I realized when I was in the car with Joker, while I was pretending to still be unconscious, that one of the charms on my phone had pretty sharp corners that I could use like a serrated edge if I had enough time. So I carefully detached it from my phone, and held it in my palm. It took almost an hour, but once Joker noticed I was awake I kept him talking so that he didn’t notice what I was doing even as he tied me up to that chain. Really, it’s just lucky that I was able to get it worn down in time,” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous chuckle. “But regardless, I think Batman and his partners,” she nodded to the listening vigilantes just to the side of her. “Were close enough that I would have been caught anyway, I just wanted to make sure they had less work to do. The sooner I freed myself, the sooner ‘Daddy Dearest,’” she grimaced as she mockingly used the same term Joker had tried to get her to say earlier that night. “Could go back behind bars where he belongs.”

“Oh my little Nettie-cake,” Harley cried, finally pulling back from the hug long enough to wipe her cheeks. It was clear that she had been crying for a while, and her colorful pigtails were mussed and tangled from where she must have been tugging on them in worry. “You were right. I’m so sorry, I never should have let you come to Gotham when I knew he was out of Arkham.”

Marinette was quick to shake her head frantically, pulling her arms out of Ivy’s hold so she could grasp Harley’s shoulders firmly. “No. No, Mom, I’m fine! And besides, we knew I couldn’t stay secret forever. I really like staying with you and Momma Ivy! Everything turned out fine though, and he’s headed back to Arkham. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Nettle,” Pam argued, distracting herself by running her hands through Marinette’s bangs. She had only known the girl for two years, but that was more than long enough for her to consider the teenager as her own. “He took you right out from under our noses. You were supposed to be safe in our home, and he still got to you. That’s not okay. We weren’t able to protect you like we should have been. Maybe you should go back to Paris early.”

“What?! No way!” Marinette argued, eyes wide. “This is the first time I’ve been able to ever visit you guys in Gotham, I’m not letting some psycho sperm donor keep me from enjoying time with my family! I came here knowing full well that it was dangerous. I’m not gonna just run away after one bad experience.”

Harley snorted, and then devolved into uncontrollable giggles. “Heh— psycho sperm donor. Good one, sugar!”

Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes good naturedly at her mom’s usual immature antics. Seeing as Gordon had walked away muttering to himself a short while ago, Marinette pulled herself the rest of the way away from her moms and turned to the vigilantes. Without a second’s pause, she bowed to them just like her Maman Sabine taught her.

“Thank you for helping save me. I know it’s probably a shock that I’ve been kept secret from you guys all this time, but I hope you don’t lump me in with the likes of the green-haired half of my DNA. I’m staying with my Moms in their apartment, if you guys decide to patrol by our place like I suspect, I’ll leave some baked goods and coffee out for you on our patio. It’s the least I can do for you all after tonight. And don’t be too hard on Auntie Selina. Me and Mom swore her to secrecy, even from you guys.”

Batman jerked a little at the mention of Catwoman’s real name, jaw twitching for a second. Behind his cowl, his eyes narrowed. Marinette laughed, easily reading his body language and expression.

“She never told me who you are, but she didn’t exactly hide it either. It was easy to put the last pieces together on my own. But don’t worry, SHE swore me to secrecy too. I won’t tell anyone.

“How the hell are you related to the Laughing Asswipe from Hell?” Red Hood blurted out, his confusion clear even from behind his hideous helmet. Marinette burst into giggles, and both Pamela and Harley smiled knowingly.

“Mom gave me up for adoption when I was born, so I spent my whole life in Paris up until now,” she admitted. “Mom didn’t visit me for the first time until I was eight, and she and my adoptive parents are so awesome that it must’ve suffocated the worst traits from his DNA before they had a chance to develop,” she guessed out loud with a good natured smile.

Batman grunted. Marinette knew that one run-in wasn’t enough for them to trust her. After all, she was still the biological daughter of their arch enemy. But she didn’t mind, she understood the caution even if she didn’t fully agree with it. They weren’t outright hostile, despite the fact that Robin had never stopped glaring at her since they fought back-to-back against the mob of thugs earlier. She could live with their suspicion, as long as they continued to not be outright rude or mean to her.

At least she could empathize with Adrien now, whenever she figured out how to break it to him that Hawkmoth was definitely Gabriel and couldn’t be anyone else. Hopefully she could help soften the blow for him a little.

Harley and Ivy were starting to herd Marinette towards their car and take her back home, where they could continue to smother her in care and make sure she didn’t have even a scratch on her, when Robin’s voice stopped them all in their tracks.

“You are a surprisingly capable combatant.”

Marinette froze, blinking in surprise for a second before turning to stare at Robin in shock. The rest of the Bat Clam was doing the same, nobody expecting Robin of all people to be the first to directly complement Marinette. He tutted, crossing his arms, but never moved his gaze away from Marinette’s eyes.

“But your form could use some work. Most of your style is incredibly improvised, which I can appreciate since you do it well, but you would benefit from more structure in your fighting. I will set up a time and place for us to spar. We start in two days, if you think you can handle it.”

It took a while for what Robin said to sink in, and another few seconds for Marinette to decipher what his semi-aggressive, order-phrased proposal really meant. And she smiled.

“It’s a date.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Woo! This started off a little rough, but I really like how it ended up! Thank you, Anon!

[loki-maybe-highkey]

I don't get why people (y'all already know who Im talkin bout 🤡) call Azriel toxic and an entitled prick. Like I waited and heard both sides of the story but now it's clear to me that these arguments were made to serve only one purpose: justify the other ship and invalidate Elriel because they hate Elain.

Hop in y'all it's story time. This is so long but I need it to make sense so shhh

Lemme start with a real life example and experience kay? So, I have a friend, let's call him X. Me and X have known eachother for over 5 years and we're super close. A couple years ago he told me that he's attracted to me but in a physical way (there's more to this story but it's kinda irrelevant). Anyway, the attraction was mutual (atleast to some extent on my part) and we almost hooked up. I wasn't exclusively in a relationship at that time but I was talking to someone so he thought better of it because he didn't want to ruin whatever I had going on with the other person. With that being said I did end up dating the other person and me and X continued to be friends without being weird and he was still attracted to me. He kept his thoughts to himself because I was with someone and later (like after my relationship ended) admitted that even though he felt terrible he would often fantasize about me and was jealous of the other guy. (which is completely normal because he's an adult and he didn't act on those impulses out of respect for me and no this doesn't make him a creep either idk what world y'all live in but you can't control someone else's thoughts).

Just putting it here incase people wanna call me out for being a rape apologist or SA denier- I don't condone any of those things and would never be ok with stalking/harassing or any weird behavior that guys unfortunately think is ok sometimes.

Now to Elriel's situation and what we see in the books. In Acofas, Rhys asks Azriel about his opinion on Lucien dealing with Graysen and Az says

"why should I be the judge of that".

He doesn't track Lucien because he values Elain's privacy. We then have those small Elriel moments in Acofas that show that Az atleast cares about Elain (the wishing her a happy solstice scene, the potatoes thing, and the gift exchange). In Acosf, we see Az is super protective of her but still keeps his distance. In Az's bonus chapter, Az again keeps his distance, doesn't give Elain her necklace infront of everyone because Lucien is present and it's mentioned many times in the chapter how 'wrong' he feels because Elain is a mated female and Az shouldn't feel that way about her.

Now about the argument with Rhys right after (this is where most the entitlement and toxic theories come from so). Az NEVER said he was entitled to Elain. He questioned the cauldron not because he wants Elain to be his mate but because her mating bond with Lucien is preventing him from being with her. Rhys asks him

"You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

And Az replies with how he thinks Lucien is not good enough for her and Elain isn't interested him in either. I don't see anything toxic about being jealous of the man that is in the way of you being with the woman you want to be with.

Also notice how in Acofas Az doesn't give his opinion on the situation but gets defensive and deflects Rhysand's question with another question. In his bonus chapter he only voices his thoughts AFTER he gets Elain's explicit consent. Instead of being a 'horny asshole' and 'weird alphamale' he doesn't project his thoughts and desires on anyone and only after he's certain that Elain wants him too does he admit to Rhys about how he feels. Like COME ON.

In conclusion, there is NOTHING wrong with two consenting adults to be attracted to eachother whether it is a just a physical and sexual attraction or something more. In my case, X being attracted to me doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me beyond his desire for me nor does it mean that he doesn't see/respect me as a person aside from that almost exactly like we're shown multiple times in the books that Az cares about Elain beyond his late night fantasies. Just like X kept his distance unless I clearly told him that I wanted to be with him Az takes active measures to stay away from Elain because he doesn't know for sure if she wants him or not. Me and X had history before the whole attraction thing and we're still friends just like Az and Elain are friends no matter how much anyone denies it. He listens to her ramble about things she loves and if y'all know dudes then you know they only sit there and listen to your shit because they care about you. (Again talking from experience since I've mostly had only guy friends all my life and they agree with this statement) if a guy isn't interested in you or if he doesn't deeply care for you he ain't gon waste his precious time to listen to you talk about your shit nor is he gonna make an effort for you. Our boy Az stays up with Elain for hours and listens to her talk about gardening and her plans and what not. He actively seeks her out and treats her like a normal person when others deem her crazy. From what I know he ain't doing that just to be "nice" and because he feels bad for her. Nope.

I can't believe I gotta make this clear after all that but Az still fantasizing about Elain even tho she has a mate doesn't mean he's weird or disgusting it means he's a person with feelings and desires and urges (some of which may even be out of his control) and him being decent enough and not pressuring her into anything (he didn't do anything in the bonus chapter that Elain didn't want).

He's been suffering for 500 years having loved Mor unconditionally without him getting any love back and now that he's over her and wants to pursue someone else he's toxic and bad all of a sudden. Make it make sense please.

He isn't toxic, he's frustrated (sexually 😂). He's not entitled, he's desperate. He isn't weird or disgusting, he's just a lil thirsty for the girl he likes. He isn't obsessed or crazy, he's about to be in a situation where he doesn't get the girl he wants (again) and he doesn't know what to do.

If y'all made it this far, thanks for coming to my ted talk. Peace out mfs.