#lady alicent

[houseofpendragons]

New Ideas for HOTD Fashion pt.4

This one’s a little different, considering we’re also going to include Alicent in this little change of costumes 😊

So exhibit A:

The Blue Dress and the Gold. How many times have we seen those now??? Time for a little change. Not only are these the outfits they were when Rhaenyra calls Alicent a WHORE💀 but it’s also the scene where it is revealed that Alicent will be betrothed to Viserys…not long after their appropriate period of grieving had ended.

I feel like Rhaenyra is not entirely out of her grieving period (bc why should she be) and it might be reflected in her clothes with darker tones. Now I don’t imagine her in complete darkness but with some gold peaking through around the sleeves and the neckline, not the complete gold that she wore in the beginning when she was but an innocent child but enough to show a start of an internal struggle. The bits of red could also be a show of her start into maturity and her beginning to take her role as heir more seriously. By having just small amounts of the gold and red that almost seems overshadowed by the seemingly Targaryen black could be a symbol of her standing on the line between her innocence and her duty, being tugged this way and that by her grief. Bc make no mistake she is still in grief, now not only for her mother but in the scene she begins to grieve the loss of Alicent as well. Now Alicent may not be dead but what Rhaenyra deems as her BEST FRIENDS betrayal is far worse than death in her eyes.

As for Alicent she is bordering on (forced) maturity. She’s been subtly flirting and playing the game of courtship, she’s been wearing more of her mothers dresses, but at the end of the day she’s just a little girl and she’s sad as hell and anxious and distraught in both scenes. That could be reflected in many ways, perhaps by her wearing another one of her mother’s dresses but perhaps one of a lighter color as Alicent clings to her innocence that is being stolen away. Green embroidery or a dark velvet green border as a symbol of marriage and motherhood creeping in at the seems to swallow her whole :

These dresses are exactly what I in-vision, the subtle symbolism you can find or weave into these dresses for the moment they are worn speaks volumes. When I see a costume I want it to reflect a character and what they’re going through, their personality, bc a lot of people express themselves through their clothes.

The jewelry would obviously have to change a bit, Rhaenyra was currently not wearing the necklace Daemon had gifted her after he stole Baelon’s egg, and Alicent needs a necklace as well.

For Rhaenyra’s necklace I would make it a combination of these two:

I like the gold as it matches her earrings, as does the rubies, but I also like the symbolism that could be created by adding the diamond as the final hanging gem. A diamond that reflects as it catches the light. Like tears shed and unshed that had and will soon fall down her cheeks.

And with Alicent, I’d expect the same symbolism. Blue fading to green, innocence fading to maturity, a candle turning into a blaze, a Lady becoming a Queen:

(And her earrings could be much the same, with one being a blue and one being a green)

And lastly the hairrr👩‍🦳

For Rhaenyra I imagine something like this:

Nothing too out there, but beautiful and fitting. It would keep it out of her face whilst still holding the beauty of the Targaryen braid and letting her hair flow down straight and free. Combination of kept and free. Rhaenyra has freedom, in her cage.

Alicent was a little more tricky bc I wanted something that was simple, not too regal yet, and still more of her usual style that we saw in her younger years. I stumbled on this:

I like the braided crown, a symbol of the future crown that will come to rest on her head as Queen. I also love that Helaena wears this in her hair, and I like that maybe she stole it from her mother bc she remembers her wearing her hair like that when she was younger. And whilst we have seen Alicent with a braided crown before, this one was more prominent and pulled more forward like an actual crown.

Alright that’s all I’ve got for the outfits in that real and deleted scene between Alicent and Rhaenyra. I’m sure I’ll find more I’d like to see a little differently. I know it won’t change the costumes but hey it’ll give me a little something more to picture in my mind

[theboleyngirlx]

the real definition of serving cunt in a depressed way

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

“We need more complex female characters” Y’all could barley handle her

[alicent-archive]

Babygirl did NOT want to marry that old man ☹️

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

A Mother for a Son

Summary: As Aemond leaves for a campaign at Storms End, he leaves his very pregnant wife struggle to bring their child into the world, suffering the consequences | Mini-Series Masterlist

Warnings: Childbirth, Death, Major Angst, tbh this is pure angst and nothing else to it I just like making myself sad, sorry

You hissed in pain as you tried to stand up straight, one hand instinctively resting on your lower back. A deep inhale didn't help matters either, but you felt maybe it was better than trying to soldier through the tightness. One hand was clamped around the handle of the chair, feet shuffling to go to sit in front of the fire and as you slumped into the chair, finally feeling the relief and pressure off your feet, your hand rested on the large bump on your belly. The infant inside as if feeling the touch of its mother kicked back, hurting slightly but it still bought a smile to your face.

"I wish you would not take your time, little one" you muttered, eyes wandering to the crackling fire, its heat almost soothing you through your thin nightdress. These days you had no use for heavy evening dresses, the past few weeks you had been confined to your nightdress exclusively as the pregnancy progressed to the end.

Your eyes fluttered open as your felt his hand on your swollen belly, your own lifting up to hold his arm lovingly, eyes meeting his lilac one. He looked down at you with such admiration and your heart swelled with love feeling his hands rub the bump.

He was dressed in his leathers to ride, braced for the cold that the storm outside would no doubt bring. Despite this, he knelt at your side, taking your hand to bring tenderly to his lips, peppering small kisses to your fingers, your palm and eventually on your unborn child. Your first child.

Your fingers delicately rubbed across his cheek, the only sound was the fire crackling and he wanted nothing more than to just stay with you, take care of you, for he knew how much pain you were in so late into the pregnancy.

"Must you go" you ask your husband. His eye opens to meet you again, a soft, sad look on his features.

"I must" he answered sadly, seeing your response, "I wish I did not have to, especially seeing the pain you are in, gevie ābrazȳrys"

You chuff at his words, "I do not feel beautiful. I feel like I am going to burst and every time they kick it hurts tremendously" you answer. Aemond smiled and looked back at the bump,

"Iksan qrīdrughagon, gaomagon daor ōdrikagon aōha muña, zaldrītsos" he says, making you smile.

The baby seemed to respond, a small kick appearing in his direction, earning a quiet laugh from you, "They heard you. Blood of the dragon indeed"

He seemed to linger by your side for a moment, taking your hands in his, a worried expression was clear on his features.

"I worry about you, my love. This is our first child, and you seem to be in such pain"

"Aemond…" you respond, touched by his concern. A concern that most husbands would not have for their wives. You reached out to his face, thumb grazing over the bottom of his scar. His lids seemed to flutter at your touch before meeting you again, as if in such bliss. "…my love, do not worry. Your mother has an army of midwives and she herself has had four children, I am in good hands"

There was a pause as you sat up in the chair, "Our child gives me strength, if they are anything like their father" you smile and so does he. Aemond seems to find this answer satisfactory as he leans up and gives you a tender kiss to your lips, feeling the warmth from your face on his. His hand rests on your jaw, pulling you further towards him as if wanting more, making your smile against his kiss. He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, eyes focussed down on you,

"Please be careful" you say and he nods. He turned to leave, his hand lingering on yours for a moment before doing so, almost not wanting to leave, whether it be a small voice in his head telling him or not. He looked back once at the door, relishing the view he had before him. His pregnant wife, sat in front of the fire, smiling back lovingly at him. He nodded to you, muttering 'my lady wife' before leaving.

You felt a heaviness in your chest as he left, more in the hope that he would not be reckless once out on Vhagar. He could so often get carried away, you thought to yourself. Outside, the wind howled loudly and you could see the dark grey clouds in the sky run across the sky quickly, the rain creating rivers, you had not seen a storm this bad in King's Landing for a while. One could not tell if it was morning or evening, it was so dark with clouds.

A day had passed in King's Landing, but nobody would have known it. The storm raged on and on, the sun had yet to make an appearance and you had not heard a word from your husband. You stood at the window, hands tied together with anxiety, looking out at all the trees barren of their leaves, the wind having stripped them of their greenery. You took a deep breath, a kick from the baby landing straight on your bladder and you quickly took a seat at the window.

"Heed your father's warning, little one" you say, one hand rubbing over the large bump, remembering the way Aemond had spoken to the unborn child.

A knock at the door broke you out of this trance, Ser Criston Cole stepped in, "Yes?" you inquire.

"Queen Alicent, Princess"

You nodded and he stepped aside to allow the Queen to enter your chambers, a worried look on her features. She had her hair down as if to go to sleep but was dressed with a silk green robe over her, hands clasped together she offered a small smile which you reciprocated.

"You look tired, my dear" she said, coming to sit beside you once the door had closed. Your hand was still supporting the bump as if the weight was pulling down on you, you nodded.

"It is so, your Grace. I do not sleep at all with the weight of the baby" you answer, letting out a small groan of pain.

"I am sure the worry for my son is not helping your condition" she said, this is when your eyes met. You nodded sadly, looking out the window now.

"I worry about him, your Grace. Although you must also, I imagine. He is your son" you offer her a smile.

"Yes…" she trails off, "…I remember the day he was born. He was an easy labour, an easy child, seldom crying"

This made you smile, of course he would have been a good child. As if the gods had formed him themselves, you could only wish the same for your child.

Alicent had always been good to you and she was ecstatic to find you with child many moons ago. Of course, she already had grandchildren from Halaena and Aegon, but this time it was different, she was more attentive, almost overly so. Aemond had been the same when you informed him, excited but restrained somewhat. He often ran you baths to soothe your aching body, dressing you in moments of weakness, you could not have wished for a better and more attentive husband. His kindness astounded you. 

You went to say something, when a pain hit you in a new place, sending a shock of pain through your hips. You moaned out in pain, louder this time, clutching your thighs and leaving marks where your fingers had been.

"What is wrong, my dear?" you heard Alicent say, but her voice was muffled through the wall of blurred pain you were still experiencing. That had been different, you thought, and your mind raced with the possibilities. The pregnancy was nearing its end and this was the thought that worried you the most, your hands began to shake in fear.

"Something is wrong…" you said quietly, so hushed thar Alicent had not heard you as you starting to slowly kneel to the ground, one hand in front to stabilise yourself.

Alicent herself got on the floor in front of you so as to hear you better, one hand placed at your arm in comfort. Your hand brushed your thigh and you pulled it from beneath your nightdress to find that your entire palm was bright red with blood, Alicent was now silent, taking one wide look at your hand and then into your eyes.

Your eyes had welled up with tears, some for the pain and some for the fear, but you met Alicent's eyes.

"Something is wrong" you said more clearly now.

The wave of pain began just then and like a military operation, midwives surrounded you, setting down dark towels on the bed to place you on top. As you were laid on the bed, the pain worsened and you kept screaming out with every contraction, the midwives and Alicent attempting to calm you down without any help whatsoever.

Now, the room had filled up with a dozen people, two of which were the Hightowers huddled in the corner. Alicent's face was red with worry and he kept rubbing her hands together, speaking in low voices with her father,

"This is not usual" Alicent said to her father, he shook his head, eyes every now and then landing on you reeling in pain on the bed, "even with four children, father, I know that this should not happen"

"Has word been sent to Aemond?" he asked, Alicent nodded her head quickly, "What has been said"

"That the Princess has begun her labours"

"Good, it would be best to leave the in-depth details"

You shook your head, wanting the pain to just cease, muttering under your breath Make it stop, make it stop. You pulled yourself to your knees weakly, grasping the bed frame, being upright making the pain slightly less unbearable. You could feel the pressure of the baby trying to make its way out, this feeling remained through the next contraction.

"Where is my husband!" you scream out, Alicent is at your side immediately, holding your hand,

"He is on his way back, my dear, you are doing brilliantly" she said, you held her hand tightly. Through your blurry vision you saw Halaena had entered the room, perhaps to offer some support, but the thought left your head as quickly as it had entered as another quick contraction ripped through you like a dagger.

"I need him, I need him now. Something is wrong, Alicent…" all pleasantries of titles were thrown out of the window as the pain seared through you, like a hot poker had been pressed harder and harder into you.

"You are doing well, my dear, I know it is painful but you just have to push" she said. You swear you could hear the wood splinter as you grabbed the bedframe again, fingernails dug deep in it to alleviate the pain inside your body. The midwife sat behind you pulled your shift to your waist to examine.

The midwife slowly approached Otto in the corner, "She is not progressing quick enough, we must consider the possibilities"

Otto looked sadly at Alicent, who as if knowing exactly what they had been talking about, turned back to you, placing a cloth to your forehead, face and chest now shining with sweat.

"Listen to me, my dear. You have to push for us, okay?" she instructed, motherly instincts now kicking in.

"An eye for an eye…" Halaena said quietly from the corner, nobody having heard her, "…a mother for a son…"

"I can't…" you reply, breathless, "…it hurts…please…where is my husband…" you ask in between breaths, contractions ramping up again. You looked over to Alicent, tears streaming down your face, her look was fierce now. She knew the pain of a child, she knew how the will wavered during labour and this knowledge seemed to spur her on to support you.

"You can" she simply said and you took a deep breath, pinning your eyes shut and pushing with all your might. Various hands reached at you, some in joy at finally seeing the head of the child you had so long laboured for finally appear. You gripped Alicent's hand tightly, taking in another deep breath to push once more.

"Just a little more, Princess!"

With one final scream and push, you felt the baby vacate you and an empty feeling dawned upon you. You found you were still gripping the bedframe hard, face still shining with sweat, body still shaking.

"Congratulations, Princess. You have a very healthy boy" once of the midwives said as they cleaned your baby. You heard his cries but they never registered, you still felt completely dissociated, dizzy…

Your back met the back of the bed, finally being able to lay down after so much toil, Alicent had a sad look on her face, still dabbing your forehead, "Well done" she said quietly.

Your heavy eyes landed on the midwife next to you, who was handing you the small bundle which your weak arms gratefully took. You looked down at the tiny human in your arms, with little wisps of hair on top. The child was barely bothered about the trouble it had caused and had its thumb in its mouth, breathing quietly. You could not help but smile down at the child, your finger running over his cheek slowly, they were flushed with the loveliest colour.

Aemond would be thrilled, you thought.

You looked up to Alicent, she was craned over, doting on the child already, "He is wonderful, my dear. Well done"

You smiled weakly, eyes fluttering closed, "I feel…tired…" you say weakly. Alicent furrowed her brows, seeing your face go pale slightly and arms go weak. Her eyes found the sheets and pulled them back, only to find the entire bed soaked in blood.

"Get the maesters, now!" Alicent said, but your senses were too blurred to notice what she had said, or how you were feeling. You could not explain how you felt exactly, there was pain to be sure, but it was disappearing second by second and a warm feeling was replaced. Feeling weaker by the second, Alicent quickly took the child from your arms, your hand instinctively went to reach out.

"Where is…Aemond…" you ask, his name ghosting on your lips over and over as midwives rushed out and maesters rushed in. But you barely noticed as your vision faded, smiling as you imagine Aemond with his child.

The next few hours were a blur for the Red Keep. Alicent had confined herself to her own chambers, sitting disassociated in her armchair, the child now with the maids for care. Opposite her sat her father, Otto, who was also absent-mindedly staring into the fire. The storm had finally passed, leaving just the dark night sky behind, scattered with stars and the big bright moon.

Alicent bit her lip to stop herself from crying, fingers grasping the arms of her chair tightly.

At the door, Ser Criston, "The Prince is back, my Queen" he simply said. With lightning speed, Alicent raced up, Criston Cole not far behind, briskly walking through the Red Keep's corridors to meet her son before anyone else.

At the end of the hallway, Aemond had rounded the corner, looking wet through and heavy. He met his mother's eyes, but he seemed vacant and Alicent felt her heart panic, did he already know? She thought to herself.

She ran to her son, taking his cold hands in hers. His mouth hung slightly open as if to say something, "Aemond, what happened? You are freezing" she said hurriedly. It took a few moments for Aemond himself to have the courage to face his mother, to find the right words for what he had done…

"Mother…" he finally replied. Alicent was surprised when she found his eyes, he looked as if he was going to cry, his face was wind struck, hair still damp and his voice was barely a whisper, "…I fear I must tell you…the terrible thing I have done…" he said.

Alicent gripped her son's hands tighter, behind her Halaena had stopped to stand next to Criston Cole, this made Aemond's mind rush slightly, why were so many people anticipating his return…unless they knew.

"Do not worry about that now, let us get you warm-"

"I lost control" he simply interrupted, Alicent fell silent, furrowing her brows.

"What do you mean?"

"I was just trying to frighten him…I…." he trailed off, his eyes found the floor, a spot of rain fell down his face.

"Aemond, what happened" Alicent asked, just wanting a straight answer.

Aemond could no longer process it and fell to his knees, Alicent held his head against her as if in protection of her large son, "Luke…"

A wave of realisation hit Alicent at what he meant and she looked behind her at Criston and her daughter, Halaena was already looking down muttering to herself, a mother for a son, a mother for a son. It was only here that Alicent had realised what Halaena actually meant and her face went white as a sheet, her hand still being grasped by her son, kneeling on the floor.

After gathering some part of himself, Aemond stood finally, allowing the servants to take his soaked coat away from him.

"Where is my wife?" he asked quietly, taking a breath. There is was, the fated question. Alicent was silent again and almost stood stock still in her place before realising Aemond was walking down the corridor to his chambers, where he knew his wife would be.

"Aemond!" Alicent shouted after him, "Aemond, stop!"

Ser Criston joined in the chase, going to push Aemond back out the room as soon as he had entered, attempting to shield him from this hurt. But it had been too late.

His eyes scanned the room for a moment, there were many maesters and maids in the room before him. The maids all paused to give the Prince a curtsey before resuming their duties, before continuing to wash the blood stained sheets in the pink water before them. The sheer sight of this horrified Aemond, making his heart sink into his stomach.

Criston's hand had been on his chest the entire time, "My Prince, it is best you leave" he said, making eye contact with Alicent who was standing by the door, a sad expression on her face.

Aemond did not violently break free, but simply stepped forward into the room. His face was still, mouth slightly agape as he saw a bloodied figure laying in the bed, but still not confirming who it may have been.

The maester who was hovering over the figure turned to the Prince, "My Prince, please, we are preparing the body-"

Aemond had ignored everyone and continued over to the bed. His breath died in his throat when he saw you, his wife, the entire bottom half of the bed caked in dark blood. You lay there on the bed, eyes slightly opened and your bloodied hand reaching out for nothing, Aemond had realised now he had fallen to his knees on the floor before the bed.

"No…" is all he said, his hands shakily reached out to take your outstretched one, surprised by the still and coldness of it. He felt the hot tears begin to spill down his face as he looked upon yours, "….my love, please…"

He could not help the feeling of guilt that spread in his chest, consuming his heart. Whether he liked it or not, he had become a murderer, a kinslayer, in a mere night. He had taken away someone's son, so his son took away his wife.

He felt the desire to avenge your death, but the tears flowed quicker with the knowledge that nobody was responsible for your death, except for him. He knew women often succumbed to blood loss and infections from childbirth, but thought that because of your pure soul and the unwavering love you had for him, surely you would be exempt from such a cruel fate.

 Aemond did not leave you the entire evening until forced to by the maesters and the sisters.

How the gods could be cruel, he thought, when confined to his own room. He had not even dared look at his newborn son, fearing he may inflict some kind of doom on him also. Or maybe he feared he might push guilt onto the baby for your death. He had what any noble gentleman wanted, a son. But he did not feel any richer from this and was instead consumed by loss for weeks.

When he eventually spurred up the courage to see his son for the first time, he could not shift the ghost of your face that was visible in the child's features. He only felt empty. Like a part of his soul had been ripped from him. Perhaps this part of him would be lost forever.

Alicent never saw her son again as she knew him before.

[fearmakess]

[teamblck]

the brain rot has taken over so here’s this

[dragonworshippersblog]

rhaenyra targaryen and alicent hightower + big teary eyes

[fatherforgivethem]

“If you have any thought for me you will give me back my peace!”

“There can be no peace for us, only misery, and the greatest happiness.”

[allicentsallure]

I love the very bones of you.

Alicent Hightower and her Children as Paintings.

Paintings:

Death of Mark Anthony

Affection

In Time of Peril

Un peu de sommeil

Farewell

[justinalovee]

𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆

Pairing: Rhaenyra Targaryen × Reader x

Alicent Hightower

Word Count: 846

Warnings: Incest, threesome, titty sucking, scissoring, oral sex

Summary: Alicent joins you and Rhaenyra for the first time

A/N: All characters are 18+ Minors DNI

You and Rhaenyra look at each other and giggle, hearing Alicent scoffing at you, “Something wrong, my lady?”

Alicent doesn’t raise her head from the book in her hands. She was pretending not to take any notice of the fact that you and Rhaenyra were both butt naked, rubbing your wet cunts together. She had already caught you in a compromising position that morning when she walked in to see Rhaenyra fingering you. At first she was angry but then grew curious. When she arrived at your bedchambers, you made it clear what you and the princess intentions were that evening, but the lady insisted she now didn’t mind and chose to stay.

Alicent claimed she just wanted the company, but you had a theory she wanted to join in. You had noticed the way her fingers gripped into the fabric of her dress whenever the room filled with moans of pleasure and the way her eyes studied both your bodies. The way she bit her lip when you kissed Rhaenyra

“Fuck!” The new position Rhaenyra had angled herself caused your clit to throb; the coil in your stomach was tightening. She speeds up her actions, causing you to break. “I’m cumming!”

Slick dripped down your thighs and onto the bed below. Rhaenyra got off you and bent your legs back, swiping her tongue through your folds to taste you. Still not recovered from your orgasm, your legs shake. When she pulls back, her mouth is covered in your juice. You lightly bunch her silver hair in your hand and motion for her to come back up. When Rhaenyra straddles you, she leans forward, taking your hard nipple into her mouth. You playfully smack at her behind and slide your finger along her wet folds, and you are about to add your fingers until Alicent distracts you.

“Are you seriously about to go again?”

“Yes, being able to orgasm multiple times is a gift; it would be disrespectful not to use it.”

The brunette scowls; she places the book to the side and folds her arm. “What about honor?”

“We are not men,” Rhaenyra states. “No honor is being broken because we don’t have cocks to get each other pregnant. You are more than welcome to join us.”

“It’s un-lady, like, it’s improper.”

“Are you saying our future queen isn’t ladylike?” You asked teasingly. “Watching is just as bad; at least doing the deed, you get pleasure out of it.”

“Very well,” Alicent says. “You may show me the pleasure that you are both so obsessed with.”

Rhaenyra looks speechless as Alicent walks beside her, then sheepishly kisses her. When they break away from the kiss, you sit up, with Rhaenyra still on your lap and facing you, she begins to caress your breasts. You grin. “We better give our lady a good time then.”

You both move out of the way and guide Alicent to lay at the top of the bed, her head resting on the fluffy pillows.

Rhaenyra makes quick work of pushing Alicent’s skirts up and moving her small cloth to the side. You lay down beside her and are shocked to see how wet the lady Alicent’s cunt was already; she must have really enjoyed watching.

“Are you sure?” You ask.

Alicent nods. “Yes, I want to know what it feels like.”

With that, you and Rhaenyra take turns licking her and tasting her sweetness, causing her to let out our soft moans. Eventually, you move yourself away and crawl back up the bed to kiss Alicent. You squeeze at her breasts, which are still covered by her dress, while Rhaenyra fully dives in, devouring Alicent’s pussy with her mouth before using her fingers.

“How does it feel?”

“Different,” she says. “I feel strange, but in a good way.”

She arches her back. “I think you’re close. Can you cum for us? Cum all over your future queen's face?”

She nods while her cheeks blush a bright shade of red, Alicent’s eyes linger on your chest. You move closer, giving her access, and she takes one of your nipples into your mouth, muffling her moans while Rhaenyra adds another finger, speeding up her actions.

Soon, Alicent snaps and comes undone for the first time. You kiss her gently while Rhaenyra kisses her thighs while waiting for her to reclaim her voice. “That was... so good. I can see why you always do it.”

“And that was just one of the ways we can bring pleasure to each other; there are still many more things we can show you another time, my sweet lady.”

She pouts, “Why another time?”

“Because right now,” you wrap your arm around Rhaenyra’s waist and playfully push her down so she’s lying beside Alicent on the bed. “I believe it’s Nyra’s turn to feel good; do you want to taste her?”

Alicent doesn’t answer with words, but when she gets off the bed to remove her dress, you take her actions as a yes. You smile at Rhaenyra; you lean down and capture her lips in yours.

[sundreeam]

~ l a d y a l i c e n t ~

[theboleyngirlx]

"ANGEL", he calls me

does he know that i'm falling from a precipice that i tripped off long ago?

"DEVIL", you call me

but seem to be enjoying the fruits of my labour that came to me too young

[thatscruelsummer]

quick alicole sketch (w baby daeron ♥)

[cruciomee]

House Of The Dragon Valentine’s Day card for Team Green

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

The Mother

Synopsis: In the aftermath of her death, Aemond struggles to hold back his emotions of overwhelming guilt | Mini-Series Masterlist

Warnings: death, grief, sorry this part is also kinda sad oops

After her death, Aemond was a shell of the man he used to be. Only eating and drinking enough to get him by, nothing was pleasurable anymore as a depression seemed to grip the prince with such an iron fist that seemed to not let go.  

Aside from the tears he shed on the night she died, he had not allowed himself to shed any tears since then, which worried Alicent to no end. Every day, his mother would knock on the door and let herself in, knowing that he could not find the strength to get up himself. Sometimes three days in a row she found her son laid in front of the fire, either staring into the flames with a painfully emotionless face, or asleep, all in the same position. 

She came in to greet her son, clothe him, perhaps to have him regain some sort of routine, attempt to speak to him and leave. He rarely replied to any of his mother's attempts, but lately he had resorted to giving one- or two-word answers, although these efforts seemed to bleed him dry.

Alicent seemed so small against her son when she dressed him, he was a man grown for certain, but when she did these small tasks for him, she felt like he was a child all over again. A wave of melancholy rushed through Alicent when she saw her son, all grown but succumbed to this never-ending pain. A pain she could not help to resolve.  

She had died and it had been nobody's fault. Aemond did not know where to place this hate, this grief. He almost needed something, someone to blame. And as easy as it would have been to blame this child they both helped to bring into the world, he could not find it in his heart to do something so cruel to something so young and innocent.  

To something that was just as much hers as his.

Since then, he had never returned to those chambers and instead swapped with Alicent. He could not bear to see the possessions around him, strewn around as of they would be returned to when he knew they would not. The portraits of her, he did not know if they had been taken down or not, but equally he did not wish to see them. Perhaps he feared that when he saw her face immortalised in the painting, he would feel as if he had betrayed her.  

Today was any usual day grieving for him. Alicent had already come to dress him but he had not wanted to wear his leather tunic, so walked around in his undershirt and leather bottoms. Some days he barely bothered to put his eyepatch on. This was one of those days.  

He had been sitting in his armchair in front of the fire, watching the flames in the dark despite it being daytime, he usually kept the curtains closed. His peace was interrupted with a loud knock at the door, one that did not sound like his mother's this time. He barely looked up, a sigh escaping past his lips as the person behind the door did not wait to be allowed in.  

In the corner of his eye he noted the arrival of his brother, Aegon. Aemond did not say anything to welcome him.

"Do you intend to lock yourself in here forever, hm?" Aegon asked suddenly, walking over to the fire to meet his brother there. In a way, Aegon felt saddened to see his brother like this and he didn't like it. But emotional vulnerability was far past Aegon now and his mother's kindness had not resulted in anything, so he thought he would play the bad big brother and see how it would turn out.

Aemond was aware this was just a way to get some different emotion out of him, but his gaze never left the fireplace, his fingers tapped on the armchair in annoyance.  

"Alright, if this is how it will be, so be it" Aegon said, taking the seat across Aemond and clasping his hands together, as if he himself was nervous, "You need to remarry"

The words hung in the still air and Aegon could sense his brother was getting angry, as he watched his brother's fingers grip at the arm, his knuckles turning white.

"You are without a wife and only have one son and though for some lowly Lords this is enough, you must remarry and have more, to secure this house"  

"I will do no such thing" the words were harsh, not granting his brother his gaze.

Aemond's voice almost sounded foreign to him, he had spoken so little and did not know how long it had been since that fateful day. He had only seen Aegon a handful of times since then, all of which had been wordless, so Aemond wasn't shocked that this was what his brother would say when they eventually would, something so hurtful.  

"You are a Prince of the realm, a marriage will secure our future. Anyone you marry, you will only bed, put an heir in and you will not have to speak to them"

"I will not do it"

Aegon shook his head, anger rising up inside him by the second, "Do you know how long you have confined yourself to this pathetic solitude? I bet you do not even know how old your son is"  

Aemond had no response to this and could think of no answer himself. It is true he had been so lost in his grief, he indeed did not know how long it had been.

Aegon suddenly stood to stand closer to Aemond, looking down at him, "Brother, as much as I sympathise with you, y/n is dead-"

Almost shocking himself, Aemond stood quickly and pulled his brother by his front, drawing his dagger from his side. Aegon's struggling was futile as Aemond's forearm pinned him against the wall underneath his chin, gripping the dagger and pointing it towards his brother. Aegon struggled against his one arm, strength was unmatched when it came to Aemond and perhaps he had been wrong in antagonising him. He had known the answer to this as he observed his brother's expression, a mix of grief, anger but also regret.

"Do not say her name" Aemond warned, pushing harder against his brother's neck, all notions of him being King were gone. Now they were simply brothers, "You may do whatever with and speak about your women as you see fit, but do not think to talk about my wife" his words hissed as they came out, "What I have with her is mine. Only mine"

"Do you believe that if you had been here that night, anything would have changed?!" Aegon argued back, only making Aemond more and more frustrated, "You may hate yourself, brother, but do not hate what you cannot control"

"I could have helped her" Aemond's comeback came quieter this time, chest heaving, "I could have been there"

"There are no wrongs to right! No sins to forgive! The only sin you are guilty of is not being a father to your child!"

There was a silence now, an epiphany ran through Aemond's head.

"Her child…" Aegon finished.  

They stayed like this for a moment, the tension hanging fresh in the air between them.

"You cannot carry on like this, brother" Aegon said simply. Aemond seemed to falter slightly, eyes fluttering with emotion and at the effort trying to keep it back. "I have not been the father my children deserve, but do not resort to abandoning them, like ours did to us"

These words made Aemond break his gaze with his brother and a choked sob seemed to escape his throat as he shut his eye, the grip on his dagger and the force behind his arm faltering. Had he really resorted to treating his only son the way his own father had treated all of them, almost as if there was no father at all?

"She…she would be so disappointed in me…for what I am…" Aemond seemed to sob with no real tears falling down his face, it was more of a pained cry, feeling that stabbing feeling inside his chest once again. A feeling he had buried, now surfaced with a vengeance, "I don't know how to do this without her…"

Aemond had not realised he had melted to the floor on his knees, barely clutching the dagger in his hands. Despite not being the closest brothers, seeing his brother in such a state shot a pain through his heart. In his older years his brother had always been so strong, a skilled swordsman, a veracious reader, tall and domineering. So, to see him like this felt like taking several steps back and he wanted nothing more than to cure the hurt that had taken its place in his soul.

Aegon followed him and got to his knees, hands coming to his brother's face to force their gazes to meet, Aemond's eye was glassy, wanting to let all that pent up emotion out, but felt like in the company of his brother he could not.

"Look at me"  

Aemond followed his order slowly.

"Go and see your child, be his father and pull yourself out of this misery, brother" he said quietly, for the first time instilling some sort of brotherly wisdom upon him. When Aemond barely responded, Aegon lifted his head up again, "If you will not do it for me, or mother, do it for her"

These words seemed to silence Aemond's choked sobs and he looked at his brother once more, really processing what he had said. Eventually Aemond nodded, he could not let her death by bringing their child into this world be in vain. Aegon seemed to find this response satisfactory and moved his hands to his shoulders to squeeze them lovingly.

"Get dressed" Aegon patted his shoulder and stood to leave, leaving his brother to stare at the ground for a while. Aegon held the door and looked back before leaving the room, emitting a small sigh of relief and hope, hope that his brother would finally break out of this depression. Hope that his mother would no longer have to bear the burden of essentially raising his brother's son alone and bring her out of her own melancholy.  

Aemond eventually dug for the power to bring himself to his feet, letting his dagger slip through his fingers to rattle against the stone floor. He grabbed the curtains that kept him in this darkness and pulled them aside, allowing himself this moment to look upon the outside world he had long left behind. The first thing he noticed was the season, flowers which would usually bloom a good half a year since he could last recall were blooming. Aegon's words echoed in his brain, had he really shut himself away for months at a time?

The sun was still quite low in the sky, telling him that it was early in the morning. It hurt his eye slightly to watch as the sun scanned the landscape, igniting the gardens of the Red Keep a wonderful green colour. His gaze found the gardens, now littered with flowers and trees, and remembered how he had courted her there, many years ago…

He took in a deep breath and slightly begrudgingly started to dress himself, enough so that he would at least be presentable, enough so that people would at least recognise him as he used to be. Carefully, he picked up his eyepatch which had its place at his bedside and had done for several weeks, holding it now felt foreign and felt even more so when he had attempted to attach it, straightening out his leathers as he did so.

Being out in the corridor felt different, felt wrong, despite growing up here. The door felt heavier, his footsteps also and everything around him felt somewhat oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase. It was a sunny day and yet in these corridors it felt like it had on that night, dark and damp with that familiar feeling of despair hanging in the air.  

Aemond seemed to take a deep breath in and stood in front of what used to be his chambers, the ones he had shared with her…

He looked down to the handles, a slow hand reaching out to grasp it. But his fingers shook with anticipation, and he pulled back to form his hand into a ball, eyes closing as if pushing past a mental wall. He could feel the hot tears welling up inside him as he remembered this was where he stood all those moons ago, his mother chasing him down the hallway. He could almost hear the raging wind and rain stripping onto stone. These thoughts plagued him until he looked back down at the handle and slowly pushed it open.

A flash of bright light was before him, the windows had their curtains drawn all the way across, spreading the sun's rays on everything inside the room. He seemed to squint slightly before his vision was restored. A wave of nostalgia seemed to literally bring him back, swallowing him whole.

The bed was made with the same bed linen and when his gaze met the pillows, a flash of her appeared and disappeared with equal speed. He had seen her body, laying still in that very spot, the one white sheet had been soaked a dark crimson, so much so that they say they had to replace the mattress also. It had all been burned long ago. He could see, even now, your bloodied hand outstretched to reach for something, seeming to reach for him in this very moment.  

But you were not there. The bed was made tightly and well.  

The rest of the room was the same, the table, armchairs, one had been hers and one had been his. Now they both remained empty. Before he knew it his body had made its own way to what used to be her armchair, her book was still placed on the table next to it, with a bit of paper sticking out. A chapter she would never return to. He expected his touch on the object to give him some warmth, but it was unfortunate that the object gave him no comfort.

One thing in the room that was different had caught Aemond's attention. There was a small bed, low to the ground that had been placed in front of the window. Aemond's attention stood as a small noise seemed to come from the tiny bed and he felt his heart hammer in his chest. His fingers lingered on the armchair a moment before daring to walk over to the sound. She would make fun of him if she could see him now. In Aemond's moments of doubt, she would often say 'a prince of the realm, rider of the mighty vhagar and the most skilled swordsman in the land, scared of his own child'.

Perhaps she had been right after all.

He felt the air escape his chest when he looked into the padded cot to see a child, his child…their child. He was easily a few months older than he looked and he was asleep, breathing slowly and soundly. His chubby, small hands were at his side, one gripping onto the blanket next to him.  

Aemond had not realised that his eye had begun to well with tears until one had slid down his unmaimed cheek past his slight smile at watching his child. He knelt down in front of the cot, arms laid on top and simply watched the small person inside, suddenly finding himself curious about his son. He could not see all of his features, as he had his face buried into the blanket, which made Aemond's heart swell with a fatherly love. In a place he thought barren.

He reached down quietly and brushed the blanket away from the child's face, a small whimper escaped the baby at the disturbance and Aemond huffed a laugh and lovingly dragged his thumb over the soft cheek, seeming to calm instantly. ��

As Aemond observed his son, his eye landed upon something that made his eyebrows furrow in confusion. His fingers took some of the blanket, it seemed familiar somehow. His suspicions were confirmed when he came across the embroidery, he bought his hand to his mouth to muffle any soft cries that came out. His son had his face buried in his mother's dress. The dress she most often wore and the one she was always fixing, hemming and adding small touches to.

This revelation seemed to sway Aemond slightly and he bought all his might to not sit there and cry at the sight and at the despair that would be, that she would never meet her sweet son.  

A hurried figure opened the doors to the chamber and Aemond looked up to see his mother at the door, she looked absolutely haggard and worn out, one heart placed to her chest in shock.

"Aemond…" she breathed, still processing this very different view of her son, especially after the last few months he had, "…I could not find you…" she seemed to hesitate coming into the room for a moment.

The baby inside the cot, with all the commotion seemed to whimper awake, causing Alicent to come to his side immediately, kneeling opposite Aemond to place her hand against his back.  

"It's alright…it's alright…" she soothed as the baby slowly woke up.  

Alicent's eyes seemed to wander to her son's who was still gripping the dress. Her brown, warm eyes met her son's, "He will not sleep without it" Alicent said suddenly.

Aemond nodded and smiled back at his mother sadly, refusing to let his tears fall once more.

The baby inside rubbed its eyes with small babbles and whimpers and Alicent offered her hand to the child who grapsed it in their chubby fingers.

"He is the image of you, Aemond" Alicent started, as the child looked up at her with eyes full of joy, "He barely fusses at all"

It was more obvious than ever that Aemond had not yet said a word as he stared teary eyed at his child, who was looking up at Alicent. Suddenly, Aemond's hand covered his mother's lovingly, the Queen looked up to meet her son's eyes again.

"I cannot thank you enough, Mother" he said, voice wracked with emotion, making Alicent's own eyes start to glaze over, "I abandoned him when he needed a parent the most. I can never repay you for raising my son…but I will do my best"

Alicent offered a sad smile before bending down to pick up the child and rest him on her hip, "Oh little one, you are getting heavy"

"Ve…vēzos" the child squawked, pointing outside excitedly. Sun. Aemond stood and observed him, swelling with pride.  

"He knows Valyrian" Aemond asked, Alicent nodded,

"Only bits and pieces, the maesters teach him. But at the moment he only babbles as babies do. You were not much of a talker" Alicent smiled.

After a moment of silence, Alicent placed the child against the window seat, so that the curious child could look out the window at the flowers and greenery below, "I'll leave you" she simply said as she took her leave.

When she had left, Aemond was left very much feeling as if he didn't know what to do. He realised he still had his wife's dressed clenched in his fist, as if never wanting to let go. And once he took a seat on the end of the bed, he released to fabric to inspect , feeling those races of nostalgia and despair rolled into one once again seeing all the little details she had added to it over the years. He bought the fabric to his lips, to kiss the embroidery and breathed in, and let out a choked sob at smelling her perfume again.  

Before he knew it, he was sat, head in hands and weeping with his wife's dress fisted in his hands. He could feel the tears drip off his face and hit the stone floor, the little taps they made as they did so. But at the same time he could not stop. It was not a nice cry, it was a cry where you could not catch your breath and every one you took in, felt like it rattled through your body. Every time he thought come on, get a hold of yourself, your son is in the room he descended further into a sob.

He had to pull up his head, when a small chubby hand seemed to pull at his boots. He stared in confusion as his son, wobbily pulled itself up to its feet to smile right into Aemond's face, one finger pointed against Aemond's unmaimed cheek,

"li…limago…n…" the child eventually said. Cry. Aemond wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and took the child's hand softly. Contrary to what Alicent had said, Aemond could only look at the child and see her.

The child began to whine about not being held, so Aemond tucked both of his large hands under the child’s arms to lift him to the bed beside him, resting him atop his lap firmly. The child began to play with his father’s long hair, now nicely combed, perhaps seeing that the colour was the same. After the tears had stopped, Aemond found himself staring down at his child’s concentrated face with a smile on his own.

Looking up, Aemond clocked the portrait that hung on the wall in front of him on the crest of the fireplace. The wood around it was a dark cherry red and it was the largest portrait he ever commissioned. Immortalised there was him and his wife, years ago. He caught his own figure first, one hand resting on the painted chair, his gaze drawn to the figure sitting in it. And when his own eyed dragged over to her, as if she were really right there, her eyes staring back at him with that sweet smile, he felt a heavy breath go down his throat.  

She was sat there in the very dress he was holding, hands clasped at her front, hair curled and styled to fall over her shoulder. What made Aemond shudder the most was the way her eyes seemed to stare at him through the painting, a chill rattling down his spine.

“Iksan vaoreznuni, ñuha jorrāelagon” he said quietly. I am sorry, my love.  

He whispered it like a prayer as his hand cradled his son’s back. A wave of guilt came over him.

“ñuha... ñuha...” the child imitated.

Aemond seemed to smile at this and stood, seating his son at his hip. Dress still in the child’s hand, Aemond presented the painting to his son, the small, wide eyes of the child looking up. A look of curiosity on his features.

“Kepa...” the child said, pointing at the figure dressed in black.

Aemond nodded, “Kessa, Kepa”

The child’s finger wandered over to the other figure, the one that made Aemond’s heart stutter. He could feel his son’s hesitation, the way his eyes searched for an answer as to who it was.

Licking his lips and taking a deep breath, Aemond finally managed the words, “Muña”

His son looked at Aemond as if by surprise and with a wide, innocent smile turned back to the painting, his small hand laid flat against it.

“Muña”