#lately i keep trying to come up w reasons to go to austin so i can hang out w him that arent 'heyyyyyyy michael boys in pgh dont pay attn t

[myattman]

Thinking about him (the boy I met at rtx)

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Academy Together, Friends Forever  1/10

Summary: Buck can count on one hand the number of times Owen had called him over the years and he can’t help but feel a sense of dread wash over him as answers it. The last he heard from the family, TK had called him to say that they were moving to Austin - Now, Buck wishes that Owen was calling to catch up instead of calling to tell him of TK’s most recent trip to the hospital.

Also on Ao3

(Next Chapter)

Buck was just starting to collect the gear on their recent call when his phone started ringing in his breast pocket. Setting the gear down next to the truck, he slips off his helmet and squints down at the caller ID. Owen.

Buck can count on one hand the number of times Owen had called him over the years and he can’t help but feel a sense of dread wash over him as answers it. The last he heard from the family, TK had called him to say that they were moving to Austin.

“Hello, Evan.” Buck leans his back against the truck, tilting his head up to the sky. Damn, Owen only ever called him that when things were serious.

“Owen. It’s been a while. How are you?” He asks the question despite knowing that this wasn’t a social call. He can hear Owen's voice crack as he says the next words, “Buck, something hap- something happened to TK.”

Buck feels like he’s just been sucker-punched. Any breath that he’d been holding escapes him as he squeezes his eyes shut. He swallows around the thick lump formed in his throat before asking, “W-what happened?”

“We were on a job and he-he accidentally got shot in the chest. He’s at the hospital in a coma and we’re not sure when he’s going to wake up.” Buck can hear the unspoken if hanging in the air. Regrettably, he can’t help but feel his chest unclench the tiniest amount, thankful that at least it wasn’t that call.  

He startles when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He opens his eyes to finds Hen peering at him in concern. He lets his gaze dart past her, searching out the rest of the team who were packing the gear into the truck, each surreptitiously glancing at him with various degrees of worry painted across their faces.

He gives Hen a tight smile and steps out of her touch and shakes his head slightly before walking a few paces away while keeping his back to them, trying to achieve some semblance of privacy.

“Buck, I know you’ve only been back a couple of months, but I just wanted you to know and thought maybe you--”

Buck cuts him off gently, “Owen it’s alright, you don’t even have to ask, I’ll be there. Just send me the info and I’ll get there as soon as I can.”  

He can hear an audible sigh of relief on the other end of the line. “Thank you.”

“Hey, you did the same for me. We’ll get through this together too.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Owen murmurs and throws in another thank you before hanging up. Barely a minute later, Buck’s phone dings with the location of the hospital they were in.

Buck screws up his eyes and harshly takes in a deep breath, holding it and allowing it to calm him before letting it out slowly. He reminds himself that there is no reason to get worked up just yet and settles himself before joining the team back in the truck. They all look at him questioningly, but no one says anything as he puts on his headset and looks out the window, a clear sign that he’s not in the mood to talk. Nonetheless, he feels the touch of Eddie’s knee against his, another grounding force that always seems to settle his nerves, “Hey man, you alright? You don’t look so good.”

“A good friend of mine is in the hospital, he, uh he was badly injured. They’re not sure how bad it is.” He doesn’t say much more than that and he doesn’t have to, Eddie shifts closer offering support and all he can do in return is give him a tight smile in thanks.

When they get back to the station, Buck makes sure all of his jobs are done before he seeks out Bobby who was getting some paperwork done in his office.

“Cap. I-um, I know this is late notice and I haven’t been back on active duty for long, but I need the rest of the week off, maybe more. It’s a-um… it’s a family emergency.”

Bobby shuts the file in front of him and gestures to the seat in front of him. Buck hesitates before sitting down, unsure if Bobby was even going to approve leave, considering that he’s only recently been put back on full active duty.

“Talk to me Buck, tell me what’s going on.”

Buck ducks his head and scrubs his hands through his hair, “Well you were probably listening in the truck but um, TK, one of my friends from the academy, he got shot on the job, it’s bad Cap. The phone call was from his dad and he said the doctors aren’t sure when he’s going to wake up.”

Bobby stays quiet, feeling as though there’s more to the story than that. The silence unsettles Buck and he gets up and starts pacing while rambling.  

“I met TK by chance years ago. He was vacationing in South America and we got to know each other for a like a week while I was bartending. We kinda just clicked, you know? In that time, he told me he wanted to be a career firefighter like his dad and I told him how I was planning to be a SEAL. Before he went back home he gave me his details saying if the SEALs didn’t work out to come and find him in New York. And, as you know it didn’t work out, so I got in touch with him; At that point, I had very little money and I just couldn’t go back to my parents.”

Bobby had moved around his desk now, edging closer as if he was being sucked in by Buck’s story.

“A-and he and Owen took me in as if I was just part of the family, no questions asked. TK was preparing to apply to the academy and Owen suggested that I should too, so I did, and I’m so glad that he told me to do it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay either of them for what they did, they became my family when I had no one else to turn to in that time in my life. Now it’s my turn to be there for them like they’ve been there for me.”

Buck finally stops in the middle of Bobby’s office, surprisingly out of breath. Bobby moves in front him and reaches out, grasping both his shoulders to get his full attention. “I get it Buck there is nothing more important than family. I’ll sort out the paperwork, take all the time you need.”

Buck leans forward and buries his face into Bobby’s neck, wrapping him in a grateful hug. “Thank you. Thank you for understanding.”

Tagging: @seaofashes @diazbuckleysworld @buckleystrand @diazsbuckley @justsmilestuffhappens @confessions-of-a-shipperholic @spell-of-the-rain @novemberhush @sparksfly-buddie

Let me know if you want to be added or taken off the tag list ❤️

[itsjovi-baby]

James Dean| Edwin Honoret

SUMMARY: Something that was supposed to be so sensual, so intimate. goes to something from out of a porno real quick.

WARNINGS: Smut

---

She was not paying attention. at. all.

In fact, she hadn’t been listening for the last fifteen minutes that Edwin had been talking. She was just staring at him, specifically his lips. Zari could go on all day about Edwin’s lips.

How they were just the right plumpness. How they always looked moisturized and juicy enough to nibble on. How they always felt like soft pillows when he pressed them against their skin. How they were wrapping around the apple he was casually eating. How just watching him form words was enough to drive the chocolate-skinned girl into a frenzy.

Maybe it was because it was four days before her period kicked but Edwin had been looking like a hella of snack lately. For example, Edwin had just came in from going to the gym with the boys. Normally, Zari wouldn’t have even allowed the boy to so much as kiss her on the cheek before he took a shower, but for some reason, today, a sweat covered Edwin had her changing her rules. The white shirt he was wearing was sticking to his skin, there were drops of sweat just rolling down his skin everywhere. If it wasn’t for the boy’s obvious excitement of the funny thing Austin had done at the gym, she would’ve thought that the curly-haired boy was seducing her. 

“Zari!” Edwin’s eyebrows furrowed as he finally realized that the girl had not been listening to him. 

A shiver ran up his spine as the dark, lust-blown irises of Zari shifted from his lips to his eyes. He knew that look. It was the same look that a panther gave her prey just before she pounced on it. 

"Hmm,” She hummed sitting up from her leaning position against the kitchen island. Edwin watched cautiously as the Zari slowly made her way to his side of the island, her fingernails scratching across the surface as she did so, “What did you say baby boy?”

He visibly gulped. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard that phrase fall out of her lips before. it was just the way she said and the way she was looking at him, “I-i said I was gonna go t-take a shower.”

“Or you could ... not,” Her hand reached out grabbing a hold of his forearm. Edwin’s eyes followed her movements before they were captured by her dark brown ones. Zari had this way of just pulling someone in with her eyes, something that Edwin had labeled the Zari Effect when they first started dating. And currently Zari Effect was in full force and the girl wasn’t even trying.  She was only in a pair of sweat and one of his t-shirts, her hair thrown up into a pineapple, yet Zari was looking fucking delicious. Her rich skin glowing as if she had just been airbrushed by god himself. Her skin so soft against his as she pulled the sweaty boy closer. The way she fucking smelled like coconuts and pineapples. 

In an instant she was pressing her lips softly against his, her left hand coming up to caress the nape of his neck, while her right gripped on his sweaty shirt. The kiss was soft and light unlike the current situation in Edwin’s pants, their tongues invading each other's mouth in a gentle battle for dominance. Obviously, Zari won.

A long groan left his mouth as she nibbled and pulled on his bottom lip, before completely pulling away so that both of them could get a breath in. All it took was a look into her lust-blown eyes, to have Edwin picking her up by her thick thighs and placing her onto the island. Their lips reconnecting, this time, fiercely upon Edwin’s part, the taste of her honey chapstick driving him crazy.

Edwin’s hands moved from her thighs, pushing them fully apart so that he could get through, to underneath her shirt. Zari shivered as his lips attached to her neck, his hands gripping harder on her waist, and he began to suck. She had one hand under his shirt, gliding across the skin of his stomach, while the other was behind her, keeping her from falling back.

“Ed,” Her head fell back with a whimper as he sucked on her soft spot “Edwin.”

“Hmm,” He hummed planting soft kisses along her jawline until he got to her lips.

Zari tugged at the hem of his shirt, as the boy softly brushed his plump lips against hers, “Off,” she giggled, chewing on her bottom lip.

Within a few minutes, his shirt was gone and her sweats were discarded. Edwin’s big hands wrapped her thighs pulling her closer to the edge of the island so that he could feel her grind against him. Which she did, it was almost automatic, while his lips went back to placing hickeys all along her collarbone and neck, Zari ground against him as to release some of the tension.

“Baby,” She gasped as his teeth dragged slowly across her collarbones, a kink and weakness of hers that Edwin knew well, “Baby boy, please.”

“What do you want, Mami?” He chuckled pulling away from her neck to admire his work, “What do you want your baby boy to do?”

Zari could feel this change in energy and this caused a shiver to run up her spine. 

She didn’t know what Edwin was gonna do to her, but she sure knew it wasn’t what she originally had in mind. 

She looked at him through hooded eyes, his fingers still warm and caressing her waist. Her palms caressed his face as her thumbs hovered and traced over his lips and she watched carefully as Edwin wrapped his lips around one of her thumbs. This was a definite sign of a shift in Edwin’s intentions, because normally when Zari called Edwin baby boy he would literally become that. He would become a moaning and whimpering mess underneath her, but not this time. He had an animalistic look to his eyes, almost as if he was daring her to take control from him, “Your m-mouth, I want your mouth and fingers.”

“Lay back.”

It had happened so fast, one minute she was in control and making him shiver under her scrutiny, and the next minute he had her laid back onto the island counter with his face between her legs.

Edwin was nipping, licking, and sucking at her pussy as if she was going to be the last meal he would ever have. Zari’s hands were in his hair, her fingers scraping along his scalp, as she pushed more into her core.

Their eyes connected as she sat up to watch Edwin’s tongue slowly roll along her throbbing clit, “Mmm.”

Zari laid back down on the island, her back arching at the way his tongue swirled around her entrance. Edwin’s tongue completely flattened as he allowed Zari to reign some control and grind down on his tongue.

Her thighs were shaking, and she was quickly turning into a rambling, mumbling mess. 

“Edwin!” She squealed as the curly-haired boy pushed her thighs up to meet her chest, before yanking her closer to the edge of the island. Edwin now stood over her giving her the same look she had given him a fifteen minutes 

“So pretty,” He mumbled, his hands on the back of her thighs to keep her place. His eyes tracing over her body as if he was trying to keep a photo memory of her flushed body at the moment. Zari whined, self-consciously trying to close her legs under his harsh stare. His left hand came down on her thigh hard, “Stop moving.”

“Oh, fuck,” She gasped, her head hitting the counter lightly, when Edwin wrapped his lips around her clit, his tongue swirling around the nub. His lips continued his movements along her clit, while two of his fingers slowly teased at her entrance.

“I-mmm,” Edwin finally pushed is two fingers in, the wetness and heat consuming his fingers. He looked up. His shirt that she wore was bunched up on her stomach, her back was in a permanent arch, and while her left hand never left his hair, her right one was covering her mouth as she looked back down at him. 

“E-ed--ah fuck!” Her head falling down onto the counter, again, with a thud. Edwin continued his actions, his fingers curling upward to press harshly against her g-spot. The squelching from her pussy getting louder as her waves of pleasure threatened to push his fingers out. Edwin could tell it was coming, her thighs were shaking harder as she tried her hardest to escape him, both her hands now pulling at his hair, the way her mouth hung open with her head thrown back.

She was coming in fast and there was nothing more that the boy wished then to see her completely crash.

“You gonna cum, baby?” Edwin had moved away from her clit and was now only focused on getting her to cum with his fingers. His right hand gripping harshly on the back of her thigh to keep her from moving and closing her legs. Zari closed her eyes tightly as the feeling in her stomach became more and more intense with each brush of his fingers against her g-spot. 

“A-ah!--Edwin--oh my god!” Her voice wavering as her body tensed up,, her first orgasm knocking the wind out of her. Zari thought surely he would stop there, but no Edwin wanted more. Edwin had placed his left hand next to her so that he was now completely leaning over her. Her hands came up to push up at his shoulders before moving to dig her nails into the skin of his forearm, “Ed-I...stop, I feel weird.”

And he knew why. Zari wasn’t gonna cum again, she was gonna squirt. He could tell by the way her thighs were uncontrollably clamping around his arm, by the way, her eyes fluttered to the back of her head, by the way, sounds of from her pussy was getting louder. She was gonna fucking lose it, maybe a little pissed from the overstimulation, but Edwin had to make it memorable, right? He couldn’t allow for the first time that he’d taken control to be a fucking flop.

“Do you trust me Zari?”

“W-what?”

Edwin dropped down so that he was holding himself up by his left forearm, his right hand still going to work at building her up to a high she would never forget. He placed soft kisses along her showing collarbone, "Zari, do you trust me?”

“Yeah-yes! God, fuck yes!” She moaned loudly 

“Then let me see it, Mami. Let me see you squirt,” he mumbled in her ear before shifting back.

Edwin pushed up her shirt and placed his hand flat on her stomach to keep her from running from it. No matter how hard she had pushed on his arm, he was gonna make her squirt.

“E-ed! God, Ed, Ed, Ed, Edwin!”

Zari’s back arched off of the island, her toes curling in pure ecstasy at the intense feeling brewing in her stomach. Her eyes tightly closed as she opened her mouth to let out a deafening scream of his name as her release came. Edwin’s eyes widened as he watched his girlfriend’s body basically reject his fingers, as her juices gushed out of her pussy. His fingers went to rubbing at her clit, which only seemed to egg on her squirting orgasm. 

A mantra of stops spilled from her lips as she did her best to pry her boyfriend’s fingers from her clit. Edwin didn’t stop until his fully sure she was done squirting then he let go to look at the masterpiece he had just created. 

Zari was fucked out. Her chest heaving, her thighs still shaking, her pussy glistening from her juices. Edwin licked his lips and made a move to open her thighs just to get another taste, but Zari wasn’t having it. Her thighs clamped shut and she craned her body so that Edwin could see her narrowed eyes,“No!”

“Oh come on baby, just one taste.”

“No. Hell no,” Zari shakingly sat up her eyes widening at the mess she had just made, this confirmed her decision even further, “ No, way baby boy.”

“What, why?”

“Why?” Zari’s wide eyes snapped up at him, “Nigga does you not just see the mess I just made because of you. Oh hell no. This,” she pointed between the two of them, “ was supposed to be a sensual fuck in the kitchen until you went all James Dean on me. And you think I’m gonna let you back between my legs? No, not for a while.”

Edwin pouted, “but I thought you love my lips.”

“I do,” she mumbled as she cautiously got off of the island, Edwin aiding her, “but they won’t be touching me until I get feeling back into my clitoris.”

Edwin poked out his bottom lip as he pressed her softly against the island. He took a hold of her hand and placing against the bulge in his sweatpants, “What about me?”

“I’m pretty sure you know how to handle that yourself,” she mocked his pout as she caressed his cheek, “besides you need a shower.”

She pushed past him, legs wobbling and all, leaving the sexual frustrated Edwin to stand alone in the kitchen. His face full of confusion, because surely Zari did not leave him here with a raging boner.

“Oh, and clean up that mess!”

[shellheadtmarc]

“Glad to have disappointed you.” (mac)

And there it is.  He’s been waiting.  He’s been waiting, because it always ends up like this, doesn’t it?  There’s a large part of Tony - more than he wants to admit, that’s spiteful and vindictive and petty - that wants to turn around, and ask Mac what, exactly, he thought he was signing up for?  What kind of person, who has the moral obligation (and make no mistake, Tony very much sees it as his moral obligation) to do the right thing, turns a blind eye?  Who acts that selfishly, like the decision was even a decision to begin with?  Because for Tony it hasn’t been.

There’d been literally no hesitation, once learning Austin was ill, getting worse, and asked to delve deeper into the secret side of the vault for answers.  There’d been no hesitation on taking the cure back to the vault’s infirmary and handing it over.  For him there just simply hasn’t been a choice.  There hasn’t been a second thought.  He hasn’t regretted his choice for a second.  If the disease survives his new enhancements, it’ll be a miracle.  He can run full scans once he gets back to the lab, analyze his blood composition and compare it to previous tests to keep an eye on the FEV.  And he’s healthier, by far, than anyone born to the wasteland, vault or not. 

There’s never been any question for him.  He doesn’t, under any circumstances, let a kid die.  If it costs him, it costs him.  He’s fine with that; he’s always been fine with that.  And he can admit, sure, it’s not fair.  Nothing about anything anymore is fair.  He’d love to have his cake and eat it, too.  He’d love for the world to go back to the way it was and never have to worry about another feral ghoul or deathclaw or raider again.  He’d love to go back to taking down arms dealers and international terror organizations.  He’d love to even - on a smaller, more down to earth and reasonable level - be able to say this is the last time I’m putting on the suit.  To say this is the last time I put my ass on the line for something bigger than me.  To settle down and tinker and never have to consider sacrificing himself again.  He’d honestly love that.

But it’s not him.  He can’t pretend something isn’t happening, and even if he can’t fight it, even if he knows he can’t win, he can’t leave it alone, he can’t turn a blind eye, he can’t ignore it and pretend it’s not happening.  He has to do what’s right by his own moral compass.

And it scares him a little.  It scares him a little every time he follows what he sees as the right thing to do - self-sacrificing or not - and has it put back at his feet like he’s done something wrong.  Like the moral imperative he’s been following since waking up in the cave in Afghanistan with a magnet in a hole in his chest and hooked up to a car battery is wrong.  Like every time he does what he considers right, and does what he can’t stop himself from doing even if he tries, he’s pushing the people he cares about further and further away, because it is reckless.  He’s aware it’s reckless.  He knows he puts himself at risk but…At the end of the day, he’s just one guy.  Sure, he’s got a brain made for this world, made for rebuilding, made for fixing, made for envisioning a better future.  But he’s still just one man, who lives under an umbrella of guilt of his own doing, because he should have been better to begin with.  And there’s no way for him to put that in words he can make anyone born to this world they have now understand.  It’s not the smart thing out here, following that compass, but it’s what he’s got.

At this point it’s literally all he knows.  He’s bent enough of his personal moral code that he can’t give that up, too.  He can’t let some kid die because Vault-Tec turned out to be shady as fuck, and their supposed safe havens for the nuclear apocalypse turned out to be anything but.

Most of all, he hates feeling scolded for trying to be a better person.

He says nothing for a long while - he needs to let it go and he knows that, fighting about it now is nothing but a fight to have one, it’s over, it’s done, he’s made his call and he couldn’t take it back now even if he wanted to, which he doesn’t - keeping his eyes focused ahead as his feet find the road to carry him back, eventually, to home.  Or what passes as close to home these days.  Because there’s nothing he can say to get the gist across of why.  Why he’d put himself at risk like that - and especially not explain the other, less savory bits of himself that he doesn’t know if and when he should talk about, if ever.  There’s nothing he can really articulate in any way that matters to make it less alien to someone that lives in this world the way most people have to.

What does he say, that he’s not afraid of death?  He’s not purposefully seeking it out, no, but when it comes he’s not going to cry about it.  He doesn’t even have the hope of an afterlife to fall back on, and he still won’t shy from it.  Does he say that if he doesn’t keep doing what he does the guilt will literally consume him?  That what keeps him awake at night has nothing to do with what he’s been forced to do in the wasteland to stay alive, but everything to do with all the times he’s failed, even when he’s tried to do the right thing?  That he reason he paces the floors late at night or disappears into the lab for days on end has nothing - nothing at all - to do with anything in the wasteland itself, and everything to do with his own shortcomings as a person.

He doesn’t think it will garner any sympathy from MacCready at all - and he doesn’t want any.  But he also doesn’t think that particular mode of thought will make any sense at all to a culture that’s become so centered on surviving they can’t understand what it’s like to actually live.

Because this isn’t living.  Not by a long shot.

“What do you want me say,” he finally says, probably long after the moment has passed, but for all he tries to tell himself not to kick that hornet’s nest, to let sleeping dogs lie and let it blow over, he can’t.  He can’t, because he can feel the disapproval.  And if he’s going to feel it, he might as well earn it.  “Huh?  What.  If you’re expecting me to say I’m sorry for not letting a kid die, you’re gonna be there a while.”

He can’t wrap his head around that, anyway.  MacCready?  He’s a fucking father; the father of a sick kid, no less.  Logically, to Tony, it makes no goddamn sense.  Sure, the wasteland’s rough, whatever, but when you have the option to do something like that, save a sick kid, you take it.  You take it and you don’t get mad about it, and you don’t regret it.

He should let it go there, but he can’t.  He can’t.  He spins around quickly, walking backward since the road is mostly undamaged and there’s a clear line of sight.  “Did you…Do you really expect me to live with that?  No, sorry, ma’am, I can’t give you this one of a kind fix it because gosh.  I might get yelled at even though I’m physically better off than anyone in this shithole outside of the popsicle from Vault 111 and have a much better chance than she does handling this.”

Bloodwork.  He’s going to need to do bloodwork.  Analyze.  See what can be done to at least contain it, if not eradicate it, if the FEV doesn’t do its job.

He spreads his hands, but it’s not a gesture of truce.  “What.  I did what I fucking did.  I had a judgment call to make and I fucking made it.  Hey, guess what.  I’ve lived through worse.  Do you think this just magically appeared one day?  I literally have a hole in my chest you can put your whole fist in.”

He taps the arc reactor shining through his shirt.

“I lived through a nuclear apocalypse.  A case of the sniffles is literally the least of my worries right now.  If you’re gonna throw a bitchfit, at least make it a bitchfit worth having?  Because this is a non-issue.”

fallout 4 starters : accepting : @gwinnetts  02/10

[mrsslrss]

2018.

My first memory of 2018: I woke up at 5 a.m. and spotted an enormous bug on my bedroom wall. I was mildly hungover after a really lovely and somewhat raucous party in my house, and when I saw the bug I felt like my stomach dropped out of my body. (I’m a wimp! It had so many legs! Stay with me.) I tried to rouse M for about 10 minutes to kill the bug with no luck, then told myself, with an air of forced gravity, It’s 2018, and I must kill the bug myself. Which, I am glad to report, I did. 

I think I told that story a lot this year in the hopes that the more I retold it, the more it would come to define my year: You know, being brave? Taking charge and vanquishing, uh, icky stuff? (And later, for all the times I told the story of starting my day by sweeping up the post-party-confetti-canon detritus and throwing away the half-used Solo cups before my roommates woke up: Doing rather thankless work for a greater good?) I’m not sure I mastered the art of “manifesting” in 2018, though (sorry Oprah!); I certainly wasn’t as generous or industrious as those stories would suppose, but the image of me resisting something frightening then eventually/begrudgingly giving in and being grateful I did — I suppose that rings true.

It’s easy for me to be blue in December — to think about what didn’t get accomplished, the ways I have been selfish, shallow and lazy — but if I’m honest with myself, the year had its share of success. I got hired out of my temp status, spoke on a panel at a conference, helped lead a project I’m proud of, talked on some podcasts, survived my college reunion. I learned a lot about commitment, complacency and what drives my writing. I spent a lot of time with my family. I watched people I love make incredible art, find cherished partners, move their careers forward, get engaged, become parents. I wrote a couple good songs, played a lot of good shows. My hair got long enough to wear it in a bun most days.

The truth is that I’m pretty scared about the future. Call it cyclical energy or call it the brink of exhaustion but I think things are going to happen in 2019; I think, for better or for worse, I’m going to make them happen. I’m trying to transmute anxiety into excitement for what the year’s bringing but I think it’s ok to be scared, too. Anyway, here’s to 2018, and to the things I felt and saw and did and loved that helped me make it through. 

Andrea Long Chu’s writing

I read “On Liking Women” in January — the kind of article where you start it at your desk and then have to finish it later, and you get home and sit on the couch without even turning the living room lights on and just read and read, breathlessly, until it’s done — and I got hooked and I have read everything ALC has written since. Her work is thoughtful, engaging, provocative, breathtaking, earnest, shady, queer as h*ck. It has made me think about what kind of writer (and person) I want to be and was fodder for some of my favorite conversations I had this year about gender, power, identity and the ultimate self-own. Also, her Twitter is hilarious.

Dried mango

Snack of the year for me, hands down. Though if I’m being honest, green tea kit kats are a serious contender, too -- much tougher to find, though, meaning they can’t quite nab the top snack spot for 2018.

Traveling & open space

I didn’t travel a ton this year but the few trips I took were lovely. In April I visited Seattle, a city I love, for a truly marvelous conference and I saw the water and the mountains. In October I visited Vermont, had a real dream-come-true moment in a field of goats. I visited Sam in Austin and realized that Texas is, indeed, huge. (And affordable!) I visited my family in MA a lot and rode horses a couple times but mostly just sat on the couch with my mom watching re-runs of The Office and making sense of ourselves. It felt nice when I was in motion this year.

Riding my bike

Speaking of motion! I borrowed my sister’s cool bike last year and started riding to work, but then the bike got stolen, which put a big damper on everything. I got a crappy replacement a couple months later and rode it to work every day, nearly, of 2018, and to all sorts of other places. I read Jessica Hopper’s book about Chicago this year and so much of that book takes place on her bike, which inspired me to take things a little more seriously. I’m not an experienced cyclist by any means (truly: most of my bike rides are on two streets in the one-mile radius between my house and my office) but I like what it affords me.

Trying to be a void

that is to say, wearing all black. I know that clothing is how a lot of people express themselves but mostly what I wanted to express this year was: a black hole. By black hole I mostly mean nothingness, and also deflecting the gaze. Incredibly comforting. As a caveat: Mads taught me about the power of navy blue late this year, and I think in 2019 I will try to be the night sky. 

New York

I used to hate NYC for boring reasons but now I don’t, and it defined my year, in many ways — I visited about once a month, for work and for friends and for fun. I nearly always stayed with Mads in Bed-Stuy, which is an excellent situation, although one time I blew a big chunk of a bonus (!) on a fancy hotel room (!!) in Manhattan. (Worth it!) I spoke on a panel, I played my songs in a gallery, I ate bagels with vegan cream cheese, I had bad pizza in a cigar bar, I saw Maggie Nelson give a talk, I watched Duster play two consecutive comeback shows. I had a lot of small moments, too, of bliss and kindness and serendipity, of tortellini soup and espresso tonics, late night talks, doing laps around Bryant Park, walking quietly through galleries. I cried on buses, got freaked out on a plane, had a particularly memorable set of conversations on the Amtrak. I also saw Carly Rae Jepsen!

Playing covers with friends

Ok, yes, seeing Carly Rae at the Turning the Tables event in NYC was magnificent, but more magnificent was being in Gnarly Rae Jepsen, aka the Carly Rae Jepsen cover band I was invited to join around Halloween. Frankly I was just flattered to have been asked, since Lars does a cover band for Halloween every year and they always rip. And Gnarly Rae ripped! I didn’t do a lot of stuff with my own music this year, so it was great to play with a band with pretty much zero pressure and an abundance of good vibes. The Halloween show was one of the happiest moments of my year. Plus this winter I planned a December open mic and so some friends and I decided to do a couple covers — “Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac (which Mads sang) and “Dreams” by The Cranberries (which I sang) — which was a little messy and extremely fun.

Christmas cactus

A friend of mine from grad school moved to California after graduating and gave me a bunch of her plants, including a cactus that looked like it was in poor health but I was determined to keep alive for as long as I could. I kept caring for it even though I was convinced it was going to croak any day; turns out I’m just ignorant about what a healthy cactus looks like, because it blossomed just days before my birthday this April. I didn’t even know this cactus could flower, so to have it happen right before I turned 26 made me feel such a deep sense of joy and hope, and connection with the living world, like a true, grounded, healthy Taurus. It bloomed again before Christmas; last week, I realized my grandmother has the exact same plant in her living room.

Writing criticism

I wrote a couple things this year I was especially proud of, and most of them were reviews. (My Turning the Tables essay doesn’t fit in that category but I’m really proud of that, too.) Most of this writing happened in my house where I was alone in my room rubbing my temples and whining softly why is this so hard, why does it have to be so hard but it also felt electric and life-affirming; I heard a podcaster refer to writing as something like “touching the divine” this year and that feels like it, exactly. I think I loved those processes too because they so often involved having really fun, challenging conversations about the art in question with people I admire, and that’s why I got into this game, right? Plus a few conversations I had this year adjacent to these pieces helped me realize that a) criticism is the kind of writing I feel the most drawn to right now; and as we used to say on Tumblr, “not to get fake deep but,” b) the goodness I am searching for in my life/self is a big part of what drives me to write, of what I’m doing in my writing. That helps.

Coffee O merch

My forever favorite coffee shop is Coffee Obsession in Falmouth, not necessarily because they have the best beans in the world or anything but because when I’m there it’s because I am spending time in my favorite place, usually with my family and best friends, etc. Anyway I have recently started to rep them on a regular basis: I got a purple HydroFlask with the Coffee O logo and used it every day this year to bring iced coffee to work, and this summer I bought a big green Coffee O t-shirt that says “LOCAL FLAVAH” on the back (incredible), which is more or less my favorite item of clothing I bought this year. I guess I’m kind of a poseur because I’m a tourist, not a Cape Cod native, but my love for Coffee O is true and real and I’m glad to spread the word.

Etc: Making iced coffee every morning in the Chemex; roséwave and the #Saltypod, both of which I love fiercely; the difference between being liked and being heard, à la Ellen Willis; editing essays; the Fever Ray show at 9:30 Club; wearing glitter in the corners of my eyes; “no one is going to wait for you to ask for permission”; wearing heels to work; the steam room at the W St YMCA; my tarot deck; the Pome newsletter.

[galacticbugman]

Dragonfly Adventures #1

When I am out on an insect adventure I always seem to wind up looking at things that look like they are from a science fiction world. Many of the creatures in the bug world have really peaked my interest but the Dragonflies are one of my absolute favorite insects. We even have a Dragonfly as the Texas Master Naturalist mascot (the Cyrano Darner) I think Dragonflies have a true beauty to them and I love to photograph them. Not only the Dragonflies but their close cousins the Damselflies. Both are in the genus Odonata which translates to “Toothed-ones” Dragonflies come in all different shapes, shades, and sizes and I have been very lucky to meet several of them when on my travels and adventures in nature and I would like for you to meet a few of them so lets see what we can find, shall we.

As the sun sinks low it is time for the Darners to rest after a whole day of hunting on the wing. This guy is called the Swamp Darner. One of the biggest I have seen; the Swamp Darner here was found at a place down in the woodlands of Texas called Jesse H. Jones Nature Center. I went out there a couple of years back and I must say this was a cool place. This guy was spotted by my aunt who has a pretty sharp eye when I don’t notice things. This guy was trying to take a snooze but at one point he took off and buzzed me a couple of times and at one point I thought he was going to land on me. This is a male and he was on a really nice boardwalk trail that was surrounded by tree knees, dense forest, and a lot of Spanish moss. That is one thing I like about south Texas you get to see a lot of nice bits of moss and things that animals can take refuge in. This guy almost blended in perfectly with his surroundings. He was a really dark color with only hints of a blueish green on his abdomen stripes. He is one of the many species I have seen down there. When I am looking for Dragonflies I always like to go near water to look for them but this guy was not anywhere near water. The boardwalk was on a creek system but no recent waters had come in the area so it was pretty dry. This is one of my favorite shots of any dragonfly. This is how they sleep they will latch on to a tree limb or something and just hang around until it is time to hunt again. 

Back up near where I live is a place called Crystal Canyon Natural Area. In that park there is a little creek system that runs through it. On one of the bridges I stopped to look at some of the limbs for Dragonflies. In the hot summer time if you are out in the trail and you come across a tangle of branches out by a pond or water way always keep your eyes peeled for dragonflies perch on the native vegetation. This is called a Great Spreadwing Damselfly. Not a dragonfly but it is pretty large. There are a few things you need to know about Odonata to better understand their physical appearance to distinguish what you are looking at. One is that Dragonflies are more stocky and fatter and tend to fly more strongly in the air; they also have broader wings and more of a rounded head. Damselflies tend to be much more skinny than their bigger cousins, they have a head that is triangulated with two bulbous eyes that stick out on either side of its head they also tend to have more a dance more than just sheer force when they fly. They tend to bounce and twirl around when they take to the sky. Most Damsels sit with their wings closed unlike Dragonflies which when at rest sit with their wings open. Unless you are this guy you have have your cake and eat it too. The Spreadwing is what I call a rule breaker and it is a special kind of Damselfly that sits with its wings at a slight ventricle. The Great Spreadwing is the biggest we have here in Texas and it is my favorite of all the Damselflies I have seen. It is large and has the most remarkable coloration to it. I love the emerald green patches on its back; when the sun hits it just right it shines just like it was metallic. 

Since we are on the topic of Spreadwings here is another one that I photographed on one my recent outings at Elmer W. Oliver Nature Park in Mansfield Texas. This one was on one of the more densely forested areas out by Walnut Creek out by the Bluebonnet patch. This guy flew right in front of me and I knew what it was when it landed. This one is much smaller than the last one; this guy is known as the Southern Spreadwing. It is pretty cool too with a more darker color scheme going on than the Great Spreadwing. This one is just a touch smaller but still a fairly good size and is easily identified when in the good light. I was kind of in a shady area so it took me longer to get a good enough photo to see what kind of Spreadwing he was. 

 Okay so I just post two photos of what look like two different damselflies. Are they different species or are they the same? Well actually these are both American Ruby Spots. The redder one is the male and the more emerald one is the female. Sometime these guys like to throw a curve ball and will make you think that you have another species. We animals that have two different color patterns sexually dimorphic. It is just a fancy way of saying that the males look different than the ladies and the ladies look totally different than the guys. If you ever go out to the Lake Lewisville Environmental Learning Area in Texas take a walk down the Bittern Trail that is right next to the river in the summer time. You can most likely see this species in the sunny patches by the river’s banks. These guys like to dance in the grass and other plants that are around there. There are so many species to talk about on my end. Let us meet one I met in Travis County a couple of years back shall we. 

Here is one I got at one of the Metro Parks outside Austin meet the Flag-tailed Spinyleg. These are one heck of a Dragonfly to look at. This one is in the family of Clubtails. Some of the largest Dragonflies of Texas come from this group including my personal fave the Dragonhunter which I have not photographed yet. There was also another flying about that day as well, observe if you will... 

This one is called the Four-striped Leaftail. I have a hard time with the names of these because they are so close together and I often just have to wait until I get some kind of confirmation on iNaturalist before I am convinced. There are many different kinds of Club Tails most do sport a lot of back and yellow coloration but also notice their tails if you will. At the end of their tail which is their abdomen is a huge knob. These are what gives this type their name. There are a few others like this one for instance I found a little closer to home at a place called Cliff Nelson Recreation Center. 

This is the third Clubtail on my life list and it is a little smaller than the previous two. This one is called the Jade Clubtail. This guy is a little greener than most of its kind but is still just as pretty. I saw this one last summer on one of the hottest days of the year. That is one thing about insects the more hotter and more uncomfortable you are the more they will be out. It is fun to hunt for these guys but you have to have a wide brim hat to keep the sun off of you, a cold bottle of water with you in a canteen or something, then you need sunscreen too. Some times I will bring a bandanna with me or an extra rag to get wet so I can wipe my face and neck when I get too much sweat or when I need to cool off. Insect hunting can be easy but if you are really into it like I am and want to see a lot of species all around then you have to bring along a little gear to make the trip a little more easier on ya. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. Dragonflies are one of my favorite groups of insects and I love to watch them zip around the pond. Lets look at some more of these winged beauties before I close the gate on this blog post. 

One that I always look for on the pond around late summer to early fall are these guys. These winged beauties are one of my all time favorites and they are not even that big. The Halloween Pennant is one of the most beautiful and appealing Dragonflies I have ever come to face to face too. I used to go to TCC South Campus in Arlington and they have a pond out there well in recent years when I have free time I go back to that pond year after year and get observations for it and they get droves of these every year that I have been there. That pond is one of my favorite places to go to at all times of the year. It is great for birds all year round and good for plants in the spring and the insects in the spring, summer and late fall. I spend a lot of time in Arlington since I got to school and live here. I tend to go to a lot of old stomping grounds at many different times of year just to see what I can find during all four seasons. I don’t go to the old campus to often I spend a lot more time at the one I currently go to which is South Campus. There are a lot of Dragonflies there too but not as many as I have seen at Southeast. For some reason they like that pond a lot more than the on at the campus I go to now. Still seeing these in the summer is really neat they are very easy to recognize and come in great numbers. 

One of the coolest and most rewarding Dragonfly chases of my life would have to be when I photographed this guy. It took me about ten minutes to wait until this Twelve-spotted Skimmer got situated for a picture. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for your target to land. Sometimes there are some species that just don’t cooperated like your Baskettails and things. The Skimmers are more forgiving and will let you take photo of them landing. This guy was at Elmer W. Oliver at the second pond when I found him. He was flying back and forth and would not settle. I would get my camera in focus but when I would be ready to take the shot he would fly off and then I would have to chase him down again. Normally I give these guys at a fairly good distance. Giving an animal distance is a great way to make them less afraid of you. Sometimes that is all you can do but this guy had too much energy but there was the one point when this photo was taken when he did finally sit still and the reward was the glamour shot. Sometimes patients and persistence does pay off. For me this was the first shot I ever got of this particular species of Dragonfly. It was a really cool capture after a heated chase around the pond. Sometimes in the science field you have to look like an idiot to make some things work. It is something we don’t mind though. Shoot I do all kinds of crazy things to get what I need for citizen science but that is okay. Sure people may think I am weird and crazy like I have lost my gourd but heck I don’t really care what people think of me when I am out doing this stuff. 

 And last but certainly not least I want to draw your attention to this little guy. There are about three species of Dragonfly that are sure to be out any old summer day in North Texas. This guy is one of them; meet the Blue Dasher. Yet small and common they are one that is good to warm up on. There is not a shortage of them at the ponds that I go to. They are out there all the time. There are also Eastern Pondhawks and Eastern Amberwings which are our Smallest Dragonfly which patrol the ponds as often as these guys do. The pond is a great place to visit weather you are having a picnic by one, out doing a bit of fishing, or just enjoying the serenity of it all. As for me I am always out looking at the bugs around the pond because that is what I do best. Dragonflies are predatory insects and eat other bugs but even thought they are said to be the most adaptable predator of the pond they are still very pretty in their own right. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but Dragonflies and Damselflies are some of the ponds most treasured gems. They are a sign of resilience and power. They are a truly remarkable and have been on this planet even when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. They are ancient creatures and are one of nature’s greatest success stories.  For now I am Zachary Chapman I will see you on the trail.     

[96thdayofrage]

WAR DAY 7️⃣1️⃣2️⃣2️⃣ 🍐 "Over the weekend, the Washington Post reported that the Biden White House (and its friends in the Pentagon) are considering postponing the scheduled May 1, 2021 withdrawal of most US military forces from Afghanistan. This is not only wrong, it’s foolish. The US will not get its way in Afghanistan more than any other invading nation has. Twenty years of war and close to fifty years of armed meddling should prove that. Although only 2500 troops officially remain in Afghanistan, the symbolism of their leaving without a victory seems to be too much for some to take. Indeed, last month Biden’s Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said US military forces 'will not undertake a hasty or disorderly withdrawal from Afghanistan that puts [its] forces or the alliance’s reputation at risk.' When all other reasons to occupy a nation with foreign forces have proven false, Washington is never afraid to bring up the face-saving argument.

"After all, if one truly takes a moment to consider it, what reputation is General Austin referring to? Would it be the reputation of NATO as a tool of the world’s bloodiest imperial nation? Or perhaps he meant the United States’ reputation as the nation whose promises at peace talks were referred to by Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce in this manner: 'White man speak with forked tongue?' Maybe he was referring to the reputation of the US/NATO weapons industry’s claim that its products are designed to make and keep the peace; a claim brutally exposed in Afghanistan.

"If one looks at the history of Afghanistan over the past fifty years, it becomes clear that the primary reason for its current situation is the meddling of the United States. The US involvement in Afghanistan that began under Jimmy Carter was not an accident. Led by neocons Zbiegniew Brzezinski and Richard Pipes and aided by liberals like Barney Frank and Paul Tsongas, this ultimately successful effort represented a resurgence of the pro-militarist wing of the policy establishment as the primary architect of US foreign policy. What this meant for Afghanistan was that Washington was going after the progressive government in Kabul by backing a class of socially and politically reactionary mullahs and landowners opposed to any social reform for generations. This mujaheddin war and what followed destroyed the social progress made under previous Afghan governments. Women and girls were relegated to second-class status and fundamentalist intolerance became the order of the day. Ultimately, these forces won thanks to the support of Washington and Saudi Arabia. The strongest of these reactionary mujaheddin groups were called the Taliban. It was they who claimed victory in 1996. It was the Taliban the United States said they were going after when it attacked Afghanistan in 2001.

"One can not be certain why the United States is still in Afghanistan. It could be to control the opium business or it could be for alleged mineral resources. It could be for strategic reasons or it could be to force a US-style regime on the nation. It could be all these and more. The original intent to exact revenge for the events known as 9-11 is long gone, along with most of the original players in that episode. In fact, it seems fair to say the only players present back in October 2001 when the first attacks occurred are the arms manufacturers the US military and the CIA. The phenomenon known as Al Queda is not the same as it was, nor are the Taliban and other resistance forces. The US mercenary forces once known as Blackwater are not only operating under a new corporate name, but also different directorships.

"The failure of the US to impose an effective client government in Afghanistan is not a good reason to remain in that country until one is established. Instead, it is real proof of the failure of any policy that requires a military occupation in that nation and region. Keeping US forces there to support the US-funded regime in Kabul is an admission that Washington’s policy has failed. It’s time to accept that and get out, lock stock and barrel."

- 🍐 Ron Jacobs, CounterPunch

*****

"There are at least two main sets of problems standing in Biden’s way, assuming he did actually want to ditch this 19+ year disaster.

"First, expect the Pentagon, and the civilian Washington-wing of the 'defense watcher' expert analyst class to either obfuscate or exaggerate — maybe even fabricate, given past track records — the existence or extent of current al-Qaeda-Taliban ties.

"In fact, the [wishful] think tankers — civil and military alike — have been pushing such alarmism for a hot minute now already. Yet such fear-mongering masquerading as objective analysis rarely offers satisfactory evidence, place what evidence they do have in proper context, or provides any real sense of proportion — i.e., even if they’re right about the Taliban-al-Qaeda nexus: what’s the actual, comparative, threat to the U.S. Homeland of leaving Afghanistan?

"Second, it seems the Taliban feels, and may in fact be, strong enough — they now control or contest half the country — to scoff at such stipulations. And they’ve no motive to quit attriting an Afghan National Security Force that’s long been on life support, and can’t recruit replacements as fast as the Taliban offs them — to say nothing of their army of AWOL 'ghost soldiers,' who don’t so much man the battle lines as line the pockets of the corrupt officers who continue collecting their paychecks.

"Problem is, the Taliban’s understandable propensity to escalate — and maybe even talk to a few al-Qaeda capos to boot — may offer Washington’s war-hawks just the justification they need to settle U.S. troops in for an even longer haul. They may even try to escalate — with some calling for 2,000 extra troops to bring the count of hopeless crusaders back to 4,500, thereby undoing Trump’s late-stage reductions. That oughta do it!

"The most recent, and mainstream-amenable, energy behind the 'Stay-the-course, Joe' crowd, comes from the congressionally-appointed Afghanistan Study Group, a bipartisan panel whose recent report essentially argued 'that withdrawing troops based on a strict timeline, rather than how well the Taliban adheres to the agreement to reduce violence and improve security, risked the stability of the country and a potential civil war once international forces withdraw.'

"Sound familiar? Yep — it’s the exact same line these exact same people have peddled for years. It even burnishes the same old buzzwords!

"Next comes the exaggerated alarmism, encouraging you to be afraid, be-very-afraid, because: 'A withdrawal would not only leave America more vulnerable to terrorist threats; it would also have catastrophic effects in Afghanistan and the region that would not be in the interest of any of the key actors, including the Taliban.'

"Strange though, these scare-tactics always seem — and always have been — laced with way more ominous lingo than actual empirical evidence of credible threats to the homeland, or clearly-defined vital interests that the United States actually has over in the Afghan imperial graveyard. Perhaps that’s by design.

"For example, nowhere in Steve Coll’s New Yorker piece — which was a hardcore hedge job — did he so much as mention a vital U.S. interest, or a realistically assessed threat to the homeland. He, like the Study Group authors — and mainline pundits everywhere — speaks instead of 'Kabul’s fortunes,' Afghanistan’s (admittedly in-for-it) 'working women,' and the foreboding fortunes of that country’s 'globalized urbanites,' and 'democracy dreamers.'

"Anyone else notice that there’s no calls for invasion, occupation, and a societal makeover on behalf of those same groups — including the near chattel-status of women, sometimes beheaded for 'witchcraft' and 'sorcery' — in the Saudi Kingdom we’ve propped up for nearly a cruelty-complicit century?

"So just who’s in this here group study in the bureaucratic banality of evil? I mean, since they’re charged by Congress to submit sweeping recommendations for the new president’s profound policy decision in America’s longest-ever war — it’s probably a pretty diverse sample of U.S. foreign policy thought, right? Wrong again!

"Sure enough, the Afghanistan Study Group is a full house of failed militarists — a crew Rep. Ro Khanna poignantly dubbed 'the people who got us into this mess.' These folks are all tainted by war industry-ties and their past policy positions. In fact, they’re so overtly hawkish and awash in defense contractor blood money, it’s frankly embarrassing — and a slap in an apathetic public’s face. Consider the highlights:

-Former Senator Kelly A. Ayotte, co-chair: a leading voice in the hawkish wing of the Senate Republican Conference; opposed Obama’s Iran nuclear deal and closing Guantanamo Bay; and is on the board of BAE Systems – a prominent defense corporation.

-General Joseph F. Dunford Jr. (Ret), co-chair: former four-star general who once commanded – and failed to win when had a crack at that hopelessness – America’s Afghan War; these days he’s on the board of Lockheed Martin.

-Oh, and you may recognize a few others: Nisha Biswal (senior adviser with the [Madeleine] Albright Stonebridge Group); James Dobbins (RAND Corporation); Michèle Flournoy (WestExec Advisers and Center for a New American Security); Stephen Hadley (one of the key architects of George W. Bush’s absurd – and failed – Iraq surge); Meghan O’Sullivan (Raytheon and WestExec Advisors); and retired General Curtis 'Mike' Scaparrotti (another former Afghan War commander and now of the Cohen Consulting Group)

"These are the pyromaniacs — if mostly polite pyros — who lit wildfires from West Africa to Central Asia since 9/11, and are now studiously dancing on the torched region’s blackened graves. Think these Congress-members might revive and hire John Wayne Gacy to perform at their children’s next birthday parties?

"Steve Coll did get one thing basically right — in his column’s closing line: 'Now, as then, there are no good or easy options — only less bad ones.'

"True, but after 20 years of less-bad-strategies that never stuck or meaningfully moved the Afghan needle — maybe, for once, it’s Band-Aid time, baby! That’s right, ditch all the arguments to stay and fail — whilst only maintaining the fiction of not-yet-losing — and head home. Bring the boys and girls back, and fast. Consider it the Seinfeld solution to pain-management and forever war loss-cutting: one move, right off!

"Pity we didn’t do it back in 2016, 2009 — or 2003, for that matter. Nothing would have meaningfully changed — in the long-term, at least — on the ground if we had … and thousands of the troops Americans pretend-to-adore might be alive today."

- 🍐 Maj. Danny Sjursen (USA, Ret.), Antiwar.com

*****

"The governments of Albania, Armenia, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Czechia, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Georgia, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Mongolia, Netherlands, North Macedonia, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Turkey, Ukraine, UK, and US all still have troops in Afghanistan and need to remove them.

"These troops range in number from Slovenia’s 6 to the United States’ 2,500. Most countries have fewer that 100. Apart from the United States, only Germany has over 1,000. Only five other countries have more than 300.

"Governments that used to have troops in this war but have removed them include New Zealand, France, Jordan, Croatia, North Macedonia, and Ireland."

- 🍐 David Swanson, Antiwar.com

_____

🍐 Washington in Afghanistan: How Long Must This Go On? By Ron Jacobs, CounterPunch, Mar. 16, 2021.

https://www.counterpunch.org/2021/03/16/washington-in-afghanistan-how-long-must-this-go-on/

🍐 Will Biden Finally Bring Troops Home from Afghanistan? By Danny Sjursen, AntiWar.com, republished in Consortium News, Feb. 22, 2021.

https://consortiumnews.com/2021/02/22/will-biden-finally-bring-troops-home-from-afghanistan/

🍐 A GLOBAL DEMAND TO 35 GOVERNMENTS: GET YOUR TROOPS OUT OF AFGHANISTAN. By David Swanson, Antiwar.com, republished in Popular Resistance, Feb. 22, 2021.

https://popularresistance.org/a-global-demand-to-35-governments-get-your-troops-out-of-afghanistan/

🍐 Intersectional Imperialism: A Wholesome Menace.

The empire claps back. By Alex Rubinstein, Mar. 15, 2021.

https://realalexrubi.substack.com/p/intersectional-imperialism-a-wholesome?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2YmHJGw7RV2ZzLdsyhpvODf7lUD2qhag6RRa9e6IgWRPtZIE_v5jr5k-U

🍐 CNN is pushing for permanent occupation of Afghanistan: What Biden and Blinken don't want to tell Americans about Afghanistan. Opinion by David A. Andelman, Capitalist News Network, Mar. 16, 2021.

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/03/16/opinions/afghanistan-us-troop-withdrawal-andelman/index.html?fbclid=IwAR2ie4dIqDoO-5fL5S8GpB6lNT5B1YzhLgS6qAa7S3xr8q2gkDLU6dfbXk8

[ladystylestores]

TV writers, like all of us, are developing a love-hate relationship with Zoom

Enlarge / ATX TV’s panel on writers’ room Zooms: From L to R, top row: IndieWire’s Ben Travers (moderator), Sera Gamble (Netflix’s You), Dan Goor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine). Bottom row: Melinda Hsu Taylor (Nancy Drew) and Beth Schwartz (Sweettooth) 

Every week now seems to bring news of another Hollywood project being delayed. Sometimes this is because you can’t make money in an empty theater, but it’s just as often due to production halts in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. While most of that industry hits pause for now, one crucial segment has not—the writers. Like many of us, they’ve instead become intimately familiar with the inner workings of on-the-job Zoom calls.

“I kind of feel for every aspiring TV writer at home right now due to the pandemic,” said Sera Gamble, showrunner of Netflix’s You (formerly of Supernatural and The Magicians), during this year’s online-only edition of the ATX TV Festival. “They’re trying to write while doing a bunch of other stuff; well, congrats, you’re now in showrunner training. I’ve frequently had to sit down in the past and rewrite a script in a moment that felt like a severe crisis, and sometimes it was a severe crisis. But it feels like that times 10. I have to reset expectations every morning: I wake up, wait a minute before checking my phone, check in with loved ones, and then take the problems of the day as they come… [I tell my writers] ‘You can’t solve what you can’t solve, so what can we get done in the next hour?'”

For this late-addition panel to this year’s ATX TV Festival, Gamble (virtually) joined Dan Goor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec), Melinda Hsu Taylor (Nancy Drew, Lost), and Beth Schwartz (Sweet Tooth, Arrow) to take streamers “Inside the Writers (Zoom) Room.” For some, the change came abruptly. Hsu Taylor and her staff had nearly completed both writing and production on the latest season of Nancy Drew when suddenly they had to convert everything to be remote-friendly (she credits doing a Zoom birthday for her son around that time for helping her grasp the basic logistics and experience). Other writers started wholesale in a digital world, like the staff of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. They were five weeks into story-breaking at the time of this panel and hadn’t been together in-person at all while working on the upcoming season eight.

No one had a choice, of course. As COVID-19 continues to surge in the United States—the country passed the 2-million-case mark within the last two weeks—all walks of life must adjust. And when any in-person interactions come with potentially life-threatening risk for the foreseeable future, suddenly Zoom calls sound downright preferable.

“Right when we went home, there was a little bit of a relief,” Gamble said. “We were social distancing in two separate rooms for weeks before we went home just so people could have six to 10 feet between them. At one point, I asked a writer’s assistant to track how often ‘coronavirus’ was said—it was every two minutes. So at least if we went home, we’d be able to work.”

The work

Logistically, certain things have been trickier for TV writers in this shared Zoom existence. Larger writers’ rooms pushing 10 people or more may have difficulty translating into a single Zoom chat, where not talking over each other and reading the room become harder. So, You and Brooklyn Nine-Nine now opt to have multiple, smaller Zoom calls focused on more narrowly defined tasks, and only the showrunner will hop between conversations. That magic writers often like to refer to—the creative spark, the inner-staff interactions where a lunch convo might solve a plot problem later that afternoon—has also proven harder to recreate in these digital work spaces.

ATX TV Festival

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“It’s more efficient, but it is weird and less fun,” Goor said. “There’s less joking around. We did every possible Zoom joke we could do that first week—changed all the backgrounds, mine was my mom’s water colors. We did background videos of each other… so I guess we found new ways to waste time, now that I think about… But it’s nice to feel a reaction to a pitch, and it’s much harder to do that over Zoom. I find myself talking myself out of story ideas.”

Early on at least, Zoom has also surprised writers with a few positive benefits. In writers’ rooms where some staffers have been with a show much longer than others, Zoom may take away some unspoken hierarchical barriers and put everyone on equal footing. “There’s something democratizing about these squares that are always present and equally sized,” Goor said. “For new people, it might be easier to speak up now. ‘Oh, and April, what do you have to say about this?'” Zoom also inherently leads to less workday interruption: fewer bathroom breaks, less losing the room to endless joke-offs, and skipping longer lunch routines like the Brooklyn Nine-Nine staff’s elaborate Wheel of Fortune-style approach to selecting takeout.

But perhaps the biggest change? The pandemic has given everyone in the writers’ room a more holistic perspective on life—episode four of season whatever no longer gets to be anyone’s most important thing. Add it all up, and many writers now have a much more traditional work day.

“Comedy hours are usually bad, and they’ve become so much better,” Goor said, noting how he now typically works 10am to 12:30pm, takes lunch, and resumes from 1:30p to 5:30p. “Routinely for the first few seasons, we’d eat dinner [in the writers’ room] and be there till 8pm or 10pm or 11pm for a table read. We’ve adjusted. It’s partly because it’s impossible to look at Zoom for that long, but it’s partly so people can be with their families, be healthy, and experience life.”

Focusing at home versus when you’re physically in a space for a specific task can be a new challenge, but these TV writers continue to find approaches that work for individual groups. Hsu Taylor and the Nancy Drew staff start each session with a three-minute meditation to intentionally tell their minds that work time has begun. “I know some people are checking their email because I hear clicking,” she said. “But I think most like this. ‘OK, I’m doing this now.’ I’m telling my mind and body to be here for the next few hours.” And some former tasks that would force writers to split their attention now don’t exist, like having to be on set for script tweaks during an episode you may have written.

“With production being down,” Schwartz said, “you can really focus on the scripts instead of being all over the place.”

Welcome to the nerdiest, most-inside-baseball TV event this side of network upfronts. (Held in downtown Austin most years, like in 2017 when FX’s Fargo headlined)

Nathan Mattise

Years later, this ATX TV installation still represents the best use case we’ve seen for those ol’ B&W and tiny TVs.

Nathan Mattise

The end product

Whether good or bad, our new reality has absolutely already impacted what we’ll eventually see on screen. You, for instance, centers on a bookstore manager creepily obsessed with an aspiring young writer. To put it succinctly, the show frequently has characters at least kissing. But for the upcoming season three, that may be one aspect needing to change, no questions asked.

“We can’t put people in danger—TV shows aren’t worth that,” said Gamble. “So we’ll change what we can and keep an eye on the lines we don’t want to cross. We won’t do the show and have it be shitty because there was a pandemic. We’ll be measured and try to maintain the spirits of the show. But it’s a conversation, scene by scene by scene.”

The COVID-19 pandemic necessitates shifts in logistics, too. Where you can film and who can you film obviously feeds into what scenes a writing staff can write. The writers noted productions in Canada and New Zealand, like Nancy Drew and Sweet Tooth, will happen first since those countries have navigated COVID-19 better than the US. And with mandated quarantine for travelers to those places, local actors could have a leg up for roles, too.

For Goor and the Brooklyn Nine-Nine team, new logistical concerns start with babies. No explicit spoilers, but two characters had one last season, and the team suddenly has to look at animatronics and maybe less overall on-screen infant time (“There’s going to be a run on those bespoke fake babies,” Gamble joked).

“It’s hard, because we’re doing stories on the work-life balance for these people. This goes in so many different directions and we still don’t know where [the pandemic] is going, so it’s hard to write for it,” Goor said. “Is it safe to shoot outside? Originally, we wanted everything to be a bottle episode, so we can shoot on the stages, [and] it’ll be controlled. But now, is it better to do all exteriors? Because it seems like it’s healthier and safer for people. How many extras can you have? Can you use kids? And since there will be waves of productions, with movies and pilots starting, too, availability for guest cast will be a lot harder. Five-episode guest-star arcs are now harder.”

All these decisions ultimately bleed into the business of TV, too. For writers, maybe the option of participating in a writer’s room remotely suddenly becomes more commonplace, democratizing the career for people outside of NYC and LA (and those cities’ sky-high rents). And not having to commute regularly or be in one physical space would mean writers’ rooms could welcome writers with physical disabilities more easily, thus bringing wider perspectives to a host of shows.

“I think there’s a reason we do [in-person writers’ rooms], and it’s not just to spend studio money on all that rent—it’s good for creativity and production,” says Gamble. “But it will be easier to say, ‘We should just meet on Zoom on some days.’ And for the disabled community, if an agent were to call and pitch me somebody and explain why someone could rarely or never be on set, well, I know that works now. If this all leads to a crop of great writers breaking into the business, that excites me.”

ATX TV Festival 2020 continues to post its panels on YouTube throughout June (including a panel with the staff of The Mandalorian available this weekend). The entire discussion “Inside the Writers (Zoom) Room” is available below.

You can watch all of ATX TV’s “Inside the Writers (Zoom) Room” panel on-demand now.

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[survivenovascotia]

Episode 2 -Not much is happening or I am just a mess - Heather

So I'm going around and there hasn't been a lot of talk. I don't really talk game with anyone as of now but I do have my alliance of 5 and it seems solid. I'm not sure whether we can win or not.. that's why I asked my alliance to send me to Oaks Island. I feel like I'm in a pretty good position so I wouldn't get targetted for going to the Island. The reasons why I wanna go tonight: 1. I would be the first to go from my team and there could be a huge advantage that is only available for the first player from my tribe to go there. 2. Skipping tribal council? for sure! The first vote is always tricky and  it seems like my alliance leans toward voting Livingston. I think Livingston dislikes me so if he finds out that he is the vote and he has got an idol then I could be the one going instead.

So I have thought about making a trust list/order Obviously I have my alliance on the top: Austin, Eric, Evan, Heather. I'd put Heather/Evan/Eric on the top because I got really good vibes from them and I have already been hunting for idol with Evan and Heather. I think i can work with them on the long term and I told all 3 of them I wanted to get to the end with them but that's not exactly true. I do like them but if necessary I will cut them later on. The reason why I put Austin below the other 3 is because I have known him for quite a while and he's nice and loyal to some extent but also he LIES a lot in games tbh. I trust him for now but I need to be very careful w him. Dylan is the next one on my trustlist. I wish we talked more because he's so nice! I'm interested in working with him buuut I'm just not sure as he hasn't really given me much. Glo is telling me from the beginning that she trusts me and wants to work w me but basically she says nothing else. Every time she messages me she's like: "Hey we're good!" She is not really replying and I don't think she's trying. Stephen is someone I have talked to but I just have no idea where his head is at. He doesn't seem interested in talking to me but also isn't giving me bad vibes. Chips is definitely 1 of the 2 players that gives me bad vibes. I don't trust him and I found out that he has prior connections to many players. I have tried talking to him multiple times but he seems to ignore me. I can't wait to prove him later on that it was a mistake. Livingston is the one I trust the LEAST. We played together before for like 32 days in a survivor game and I talked to him less than I have talked to my top 5 in a single day. He definitely doesn't care about my messages because he leaves me on read. So all in all I'm fairly positive about my position in my tribe. I only dislike(?) 2 people but it's not like I want them gone badly. My Order: 1. Heather 2. Evan 3. Eric 4. Austin - gap- 5. Dylan -gap- 6. Glo 7. Stephen -gap- 8. Chips 9.Livingston

This link will bring you to a pic of what I’ve been doing (mainly for the VL players watching). https://imgur.com/a/gaLKyE8 It’s for the idol hunt, I talk a lil bit in the link. I’ve got Keegan and Darcy helping me (they don’t know I’m working with the other). That’ll give me the best chance of finding the idol. I wanna get Kevin and Dan on board. Game wise? I want to find out what Oak Island was like. When I asked Kyle politely he didn’t respond which isn’t helpful and worrying. I didn’t wanna play like Boston Rob and be dominant but oops my inner Mafia Godfather is coming out. As long as I keep my threat level low as possible.

WE WON AGAIN!! And I got the fastest time for my puzzle which makes me so happy. I love our tribe we are amazing. Hard work pays off!

We won again !!!!! Makes me so happy that this tribe is sooooo amazing . I have me and eric working together to find the idol but I also have heather with helping as well. One way or another I'm gonna find a idol or advantage this game.  Love my tribe and loving this game <3

Well we lost another challenge. Currently 0 for 2. I’m not surprised. Half our tribe said they sucked at puzzles and boy did they not disappoint. Frankly though Kyle is getting so extremely on my nerves I can’t wait to vote him out. But that might have to wait until I’m back in the game since I’ve been chosen of Oak Island! Oak Island is basically exile island with a bit of Island of the Idols thrown in. I’ve been given a challenge and it I succeed, I will get an advantage/reward. If I fail, I lose my vote at the next tribal council. Considering my challenge is to throw the next challenge, I’d consider it already done. I’ve kicked ass in the last two challenges so if I stumble in the next one it won’t look so bad. I hope so anyways. Back to Kyle though, since I don’t have anyone to talk to right now. First off when the challenge post was first up I said I would do the 88 piece puzzle because I’m good at them. What does Kyle do? Starts practicing the 88 piece puzzle. Doesn’t say anything until he’s already submitting his scores for them. I post a first score on it that’s almost twice as fast as his but he just keeps going. And then, after the challenge he makes a comment that the other tribe was all on Darcy’s level. Excuse me? I had a better score than Darcy. I’m not entirely sure what his problem is but I want him out. Whatever my reward is I’m going to use it to get Kyle out to the best of my ability.

We lost again. OOP. I’ve thrown out Jessie’s name as an easy second vote and I’ve heard Dan’s name been thrown. I have Keegan, Dan, Darcy and Kevin as my 4 “idol searchers” in my cheeky game. I want Dan to stay, he’s a good ally of mine and Jessie is a sweetheart but she gotta go. I won’t let Dan leave unless it’s a dramatic blindside.

The one downside to being on Oak Island is I can’t work my social game to protect the people I want to play with. I’d really like all the people I’m tight with to make it through this tribal. I currently have the alliance of Kevin, Sunshine, Darcy and John on the go. We’ll see if we manage to stick together for much longer. It was an iffy alliance at best. Besides them Mac and I have been working together on the idol hunt. We’re sharing paths we’ve taken and have mutually agreed we want to work together in this game. Jessie is someone who I feel is very likely to be the next person voted out. I’d really hate that though because we’ve got a bit of mutual trust going and honestly, I think I could use her as basically an extra vote for a little bit in this game. She doesn’t seem super social with other people which could very easily be her downfall. I guess that just leaves Dan and Kyle. I’ve already made my feelings for Kyle known. I’m praying he gets the boot even if I don’t get to vote for him. Dan is.... honestly I don’t even know. He mainly talks about weed and I’m not about that so we aren’t going to be friends or really get along at all. I could lose either of them and not have an issue with it. In terms of current trust ratings probably: Darcy > Mac > Jessie > Kevin > Sunshine > John > >>> Dan > >>>>>>> Kyle

I think I’m thrilled we won? Immunity streaks can either go two ways, either we have majority over the other tribe and stick together till late merge, or we finally go to tribal and we tear each other to shreds. Time will tell.

So apparently my name is out there . I don’t really see how this is a move so hopefully I can shift the vote onto someone else #greatful for my alliance members and the loyalty they have shown so far though

I definitely have found my footing on this tribe. Myself, Kevin, Kyle are a good 3 with Darcy in the alliance. Kevin and Darcy still work with me in the Idol Hunt which adds more trust. I still want Jessie gone. Sunshine is a shady bitch. I’m more aware of how this games being played. There was a voting block, I wasn’t apart of that voting block. I’m definitely not controlling the tribe but I’m in a good position atm.

We love doing the puzzle all day and not confessing oops. I am so happy we won again. Here is an update for what has been happening. Austin told me a lot of Dead ends with idol searching. Not much is happening or I am just a mess at the moment oop. SCAVENGER HUNT TIME AND WE MUST WIN AGAIN

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #13- FINALE

I gotta say Im SUPERRR upset with myself right now. To be completely honest I feel like I could have won had my laptop not frozen which would have been really nice to have. What is making this worse is knowing I lost because my computer decided to freeze for 1st time ever! 

This is okies though. Once I get to the end I'll just be able to stick to the narrative of things never going my way but I still persevered! 

The silver lining to losing and Cheatham winning is knowing this means Sara goes. I was a little worried that if Cheatham left it keeps AMs options open. Now if he wins its gonna force her hand. I just have to promise her F2 even more and pray it convinces her NOT to do anything crazy

(LATER)

I've done some rethinking- if AnnMarie is in f4 with Sara and Austin I'd like to think it means she is not gonna try and target anyone but them. I should be safe...but I am also interested in seeing if Cheatham legit votes for Austin or not

Yeah so um...Apparently Austin leaked everything that Cheatham told him to AM and Chris yesterday so they added him to an alliance chat. But pretty sure they're also playing semi emotionally rn and not thinking straight. If AM was actually going to potentially idol Austin out before..she knows he's a clear threat. All it takes is Chris/am/cheatham to get together and hash this all out and turn on Austin. Though idk how likely it is Cheatham would do that. He's flat out told me that he knows Austin is the biggest threat yet he seems stuck like glue to him. I mean..so am I...but I don't really have a lot of other options...they all want me out...and there's no way to immunity streak. I really need Austin to stay because I truly believe he'll at least tie at f4 if we have to. Cheatham may not no matter how many times he's told that Am/Chris won't split. Or he'll vote me assuming he's winning final immunity.

I'm thinking about telling Cheatham straight up I am voting him. Its just weird because he seems to already know he is likely going so perhaps AnnMarie has already talked to him, not sure but I do feel bad even if he is voting me out

I feel like I am now sort of in a great spot because I am framing AnnMarie to be the one calling the shots but actually she is coming to me asking what to do O-O. So Operation: Wolfsheep(?) was a success! I told her to see how Sara feels about Austin/Chatham became we have to max our benefits!

(LATER)

Here we go again! Austin and AnnMarie on at the same time so lets get this party started

Hi Friends, its final five! And I wanted to quit the game again! By far the hardest immunity challenge that I've ever done and tbh it pissed me off. I lasted 3 hours and 14 minutes and for what? To fight for my life again bc I might get voted out? It pisses me off. My body is still completely sore. Anyways, My plan for this week is to convince Am to vote out either Chris or Austin, I don't care who, bc they will vote each other out if it means that they get to stay. I made a DAMN good plea to AM and it seems like it might have worked. BUT you never know. If this works out for me, Its just another thing on my resume :)

(LATER)

WELL CHANGE OF PLANS. REWIND. Austin literally just called me and told me how he got added to a F3 with AM and Chris.He told Sara about it so she wants me, him, and her to work together and get out CHRIS. AHHHH CRAZY RIGHT? Like I don't wanna work with them but it is the only thing that will get me through this week. Hopefully it works out. PEACE.

Ahhh! I feel like Dorothy in Oz right now! My yellow brick road is splitting and I don't know which path to followwwww!!! Technically AM could screw things with the idol (which she finally came clean about) but there's pros and cons to all vote options this round... Voting Cheatham this round would likely make it easier for me to win immunity. I also don't fully trust him. HOWEVER, that still leaves AM and Chris in the game together and I'm nearly certain they will vote together next round. Voting Cheatham would also keep a tad of trust with AM and hopefully she and Chris would fire Austin  instead of me. But Austin is also close with Chris. Taking this path would probably leave f3 wide open and if I did somehow end up f3 with Chris/AM, I HAVE to win immunity or I'm ducked. But if that f3 did happen and I won final immunity, I'd have a much easier win than with Austin...but do I even want it easy? That's boring. You can't be the best until you win against the best. And... Voting Chris would break him from AnnMarie and we wouldn't have to worry about them trying to make finals together. Plus, Cheatham would be there next round, so maybe I could get her to vote Cheatham out next round if he isn't immune. Then in a F3 situation, I THINK both Austin/AM would take me instead of each other. But it's also a risk because I'd be leaving AM out of this vote and she may not trust me. Or can #GirlPower prevail? Did any of this make sense? And all of this lit only works if Austin doesn't plan on turning against me. If he does ..then RIP my game all together.

omg i feel im def the one going home . all my flipping and leaking info has finally caught up to me and i cant blame ppl for finding out haha. we will see what happens. tumblr survivor gods please be with me!

3 votes Chris, 2 votes Austin.

WTF?!?! I cant believe I made it past that tribal.  Thank god for sara and cheatham having my back this vote. Idk what's gonna happen next but I gotta try not damn hardest on this immunity or it could be me going home next .

Idk what my end game plan is really.  Idc who I go to the end with I just wanna make it there.  So I gotta convince someone to vote with me so at least if anything it will be a tie and there is a chance for me . It's been a hard game but I have loved every second of it <3

Ughhhh...I know what needs to be done this round but it's soooo hard!! As annoyed as I am with the way Austin tried playing the game, making F2's with idek how many people, he's still like the nicest kid ever and I feel bad. Like bro, you had a good enough social game...you didn't NEED to do that. He literally probably would have gotten by with it too if it wasn't for him leaking AM's idol plans back to her (literally told him he's going to get himself in trouble) and also telling AM Cheatham/I were voting Chris so she should save him to take out Cheatham. Lit, he could have been honest with me and and just voted Cheatham and I wouldn't have cared. But trying to be so sneaky and then blatantly lying to me about it is something. And that is that on that. As far as this F3 goes...I'm nervous. I'd love to win final immunity to ensure a spot in finals but really it's a double edged sword. I won like 4 or 5 individual immunities in my last game and jury apparently dragged me saying that's the only reason I made finals. I knew that was not true and hosts did too, but perception is reality. Also, winning forces me to piss off either AM or Cheatham. I really do not need that. I low-key, strategically brought up a F2 to AM at the last vote just to see if she had one with Chris to decide what last rounds best vote was. If she had one with him, I figured she'd sorta brush off mine. If she didn't, I figured she'd be all for it. Well...she didn't tell me I'm her F2 until AFTER Chris was blindsided, so we know what that means. But now..she may have taken mine seriously and be saltier than the Atlantic if I gave her 3rd. What would ultimately be best is for one of the other 2 to win immunity and convince them to take me with. Unless they already have a f2 together, I think this would be easier with AM as I could use the 'Cheatham was the Thrush underdog' and '#GirlPower' on her. But...she's just not the greatest at comps so I feel that's not an option. Cheatham might be more difficult as I know fo sho he's thirsty for a W. He's literally tried taking me out for whatever reason several times. Why would he target me instead of AM if it wasn't for threat purposes? But if he did win, my argument is gonna be that she auto has Chris' vote and literally ZERO blood on her hands with the jury. What else can I use with him? Maybe peeps like Noah rigging immunity for me at merge so that I'd stay loyal and then backstabbing anyway. Salt. OR Liam asking for a F2 (even tho it was lit during Tribal and too late to save himself) and then voting him out. More salt. Honestly though, idk if anything I say would change his mind...so throwing the comp intentionally is risky...risky af...but it could also be the difference in winning/losing. How about that novel? x)

Hello friends. I've made it again. I was hoping that I could win immunity too but I couldn't. TBH, I don't THINK I'm going home this week. Though I very well could, I just don't see it. The way I'm playing this week is how to get a F3 that will take me to F2. My target this week is Austin. Sara told me a lot of shit about Austin so I think it is pretty obvious that she wants him out. Then there is AM who is very quiet but why would she not vote Austin. Hopefully Austin goes and then boom! I'm in F3 and HAVE to win that immunity.

(LATER)

OKAY this is my ENDGAME plans. Out of the four that are left. I'm hoping that I can take AM to F2. Tbh I feel I can defiantly beat Sara and AM. Sara I feel like just wouldn't take me to the end. Austin, though I feel I can beat, also played a really good game. I'm gonna plead my case to the jury like this. I was a target every single week for pre-merge. Every time, they wanted me out. I somehow managed to bounce back each time. I was unanimously Petrels target come swap/merge and I lasted through that. I gained a lot of peoples trust which was shown in the Captaincy immunity challenge. I was the vote that decided if Rizo was to go or not. And when it came time, I told him that. I tried my best to play an honest game. I was able to get the Idol and had it for 5 rounds without anyone voting it out of me. I was able to get everyone to take out Noah because I saw him as the biggest threat in the game. For Vincents week, I somehow convinced Sara and AM that the whole thing was Vincents idea and he made me believe that I needed to vote out Sara. EVEN AFTER I literally just used an idol to get Sara out. AND convinced Vincent to come BACK to me and vote Sara out .hats pretty badass. On Chris' week, once again I decided who goes home and I picked the right way if that means that I end up in F2. Every week, I had to FIGHT to be there. That is something that I don't think a lot of people had to do. I always came close to winning immunitys, if I didn't win. And proved that I'm not only a strong social player, but also a strong comp competitor.

IM HERE IM HERE IM HERE IM FINALLY HERE!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I CANT BELIEVE IT I REALLY CANT BELIEVE IT OMG. THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND IM SO HAPPY! I never thought I would make it this far into the game, and I'm so excited for the possibility of f3. People are telling me that they're voting Austin, but it's been awfully quiet. I'm scared that the silence is a sign, but I hope that I'm just being paranoid. I'm just happy to be here.

3 votes Austin, 1 vote AnnMarie.

well, here we are, final 3. I guess this is where my game ends. Sara just won immunity and after I plead my case and my feelings are basically crushed. She rubs a little salt in the wound by telling me a move that I messed up on. Vincent wasn't the one who told Sara and AM about the vote switch. It was Austin. It just really frustrating how this game played out. I worked my motherfucking ass off. It seems like I did it for nothing. This is my last org for hopefully a long while and I was hoping I'd get that edit of "Underdog Villain Wins the Season and Leaves the Hateful Community" and I didn't get that edit. I'm not gonna get that edit. I spent the entire first half of this game as the "Other vote" all people wanted to do was blindside me/ get me out. I had a breakdown early on in the game (def wasn't my last one) where I wanted to quit the game. The guy that I was falling in love with broke my heart, my job was chaotic, I was getting SHIT ON on discord, was doing endurance comp after endurance comp and there was no pay off, was failing my classes, was losing friendships, and all I wanted to do was quit. But I didn't and I kept going. I kept playing my ass off and it sucks to be out played. Im a sore. loser. TRUST ME I KNOW. But to come this far and still lose, it fucking sucks, Yes, this is just a game. I get it. Log off, quit, do whatever you need to do to not let it control your life. I can't DO THAT though. I love orgs! This is the kind of stuff that I always wanted to do! I have a lot of stuff to work on within myself. I know. But for right now, all I want to do is win. And I'm almost positive that its not gonna happen. I don't even think that Im gonna get POTS. Just sucks to put so much effort into something with zero pay off. Anyways. I guess I'll see y'all sometime. Much love.                                                                                             - The Villain

Did I just do THAT?!? Force myself to finals!? I know this sounds sappy and cheesy over an online game...but my entire life I've been really underestimated..for multiple reasons, so it feels great to be able to prove myself in any situation. No, I haven't won...but have at least dragged myself as far as you can go in this game. Now it's [semi] out of my hands. But now is the hard part... Who do I take with me!? I literally went to sleep last night wanting to take Cheatham. I woke up this morning wanting to slap myself in the face for thinking that. Now I want to take AM. The perk to taking AM is that I 100% feel that my game was superior. I also 'technically' asked her for a f2, though on my end it was more strategic as mentioned in an earlier confessional. However, I still do not like breaking F2s if avoidable. But she did also tell me she'd have taken Cheatham to finals over me so... And the perk to taking Cheatham is that I feel like he's more deserving of finals and winning (or losing) against him would feel much better than the other option. But is it worth breaking the f2, especially when AM was probably slightly more loyal to me? I know she said my name once too, but Cheatham said it multiple times AND tried to freaking idol me out! Even after all of that I was willing to work with him and saved him a couple rounds...but when is enough, enough??

Wow. I cannot believe I am finally here at the very end. This is so shocking to me. I have never gotten this far before in any game, so I am just so excited. I am so happy that Sara decided to take me with her to the end, but I know for a fact that I have a very small chance of winning this. I really need to get on track and figure out how to talk like a normal human being so I can win over the jury, any way I can. Making that video for right of passage was so pointless (although it was super fun to make). It was not what Sara and Cheatham had done. I really wish I would have done the doc to at least clarify what the hell I actually did in this game. In reality, I truly think I just played for a hell of a good time, and I had a hell of a good time, because it was a hell of a good time. You know what isn't a hell of a good time? Not being at the end with Cheatham. It would have been so fun, and I think it would be a little easier for me to talk. I think that speaking to the jury with Sara will get me a bit nervous. I am not the most articulate person, so going up against Sara concise speaking will ruin meeeee. But I will be extremely happy if Sara wins. She honestly deserves it.

Cheatham becomes the final member of the jury.

[junker-town]

Sony Open in Hawaii 2018: Results, scores, TV/live stream info for Jan. 11-14

A low-key Sony Open got a little zany on Sunday and it had little to do with the actual golf, which Patton Kizzire played best to win in an interminable playoff.

The PGA Tour hops from Maui to Oahu this week for the first full-field event of the year: the Sony Open.

The annual stop at Waialae may tumble to the furthest recesses of your mind by the end of the season, but it has become a highlight of the early-season schedule for the hardcore golf fans. There are stops on the upcoming West Coast swing that will get much more love, but the Sony is a great combination of rookies and vets grinding for solidified PGA Tour card status on a course with a ton of history.

It’s also an opportunity for more prime-time golf following up last week’s little 34-man party that was the Tournament of Champions. I thought the ToC fizzled a bit on the weekend, despite the fireworks from the eventual winner and world No. 1 Dustin Johnson. It was great to watch PGA Tour golf again, and Kapalua was as beautiful as ever. But it ran out of juice in my very subjective opinion.

With a full field and a course that can yield some crazy low numbers, maybe we get a better show this week. Here are some reasons to watch as well as the nuts and bolts for the Sony. We’ll update this as a hub of sorts as the tournament progresses.

Results

It was a weird, interminable final round Sunday at the Sony Open. Perhaps the biggest news of the day came when it was still dark out in Honolulu and most were still sleeping. A little after 10:30 a.m. ET, news of a labor dispute between Golf Channel and its live tournament technicians surfaced. We got word that camera operators, audio techs, and others involved in the production of their tournament coverage, had walked out and we’re not going to work on Sunday. It dramatically impacted the Web Tour coverage at 11 a.m. ET and while we didn’t know what to expect hours later at the Sony, we knew it would be odd and completely different than what we were used to from GC.

This is not a good situation for all parties involved. These technicians grind their ass off to bring a broadcast each week, and are legitimately great at what they do. Golf Channel obviously works to try and bring the best, most golf to the people who want it. I know little of the origins of the dispute, but obviously everyone would like to see it resolved as soon as possible.

So with no real crew working at Waialae, the broadcast was obviously thrown into a bit of chaos. What Golf Channel put out was impressive, all things considered. George Savaricas called the entire final round from back in their Orlando studios, with analysts Billy Kratzert and Jim Gallagher at the desk. They patchworked together a few people to operate cameras, many of whom were obviously not the pros that do this. One was even Jerry Foltz, the former PGA Tour player turned on-course reporter. He was up in a tower behind the 16th hole.

Haha, Jerry Foltz is running one of the tower cameras. What a time to be alive. http://pic.twitter.com/OsKhGI2TcA

— D.J. Piehowski (@DJPie) January 15, 2018

The camera work was, as you might expect, not particularly strong. They were set up on only the last few holes at Waialae. There was no audio from the course. Graphics were minimal. There were blimp shots — lots and lots and lots of blimp shots. The whole thing was just surreal. It was an admirable effort given the circumstances, but also made you appreciate what we get each week and what those who were on strike actually provide.

As for the actual golf, well, the GC crew back in Orlando didn’t exactly get a quick and tidy one to call on Sunday night. A playoff between Patton Kizzire and James Hahn went a slogging six holes, going almost to 11 p.m. ET. It finished as sunset in Honolulu was minutes away, with Hahn bogeying the par-3 redan 17th hole. Neither played particularly well, but Kizzire emerges with what is already his second win of the season. He won the Mayakoba back in November during the “wraparound” portion of the schedule.

So it’s just the second week of January and Kizzire is almost locked up for a spot in the final 30 at the Tour Championship in Atlanta about 9 months from now. He’s No. 1 in the FedExCup Standings, which doesn’t mean much, but means something — he should stay in the top 10 for the next several months barring a total collapse.

Kizzire is a horse, a player who can go on streaks, as evidenced by his lights-out season on the Web Tour. The big Auburn product could be an outside contender for a Ryder Cup spot too if he keeps the pedal down and accrues enough points early in the season (he doesn’t get anything for his win in the fall). Despite the weirdness of the day, we got a good winner at the end of it. Here are your final results from Waialae:

Why Watch

1) It’s pretty. This is simple. I won’t try to expound much beyond telling you that this Waialae Country Club layout is easy to look at. The media center is basically on the beach — not that I know from experience; one day, perhaps.

The course runs right up and almost onto the beach — so close that a couple of certain pros going out for a kayak ride in the ocean were easily caught by the golf course cameras and documented in a suffocating barrage of content last year. And you mayyyy see a shot or two of the infamous “W” shaped palms lording over the 18th green.

Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images

2) Raynor. I will never pretend to be a golf course architecture expert, although I appreciate those who are and love following the topic. It’s a topic that’s taken on increased interest and debate, thanks to a handful of intelligent voices in social and digital media shining new light.

Waialae is one of a too-small handful of PGA Tour courses with Golden Age roots as it was one of Seth Raynor’s last projects in the 1920s. Raynor has been a poster boy for the increased discussion and appreciation from the aforementioned group on social media. He’s a cult hero for many.

Now, the Waialae of 2018 is different from Raynor’s original intent but there are still elements that make this worth watching, especially with Tom Doak, a modern day architecture cult hero, slowly putting some restorative efforts into the historic course. The redan 17th hole should be the most noticeable change and throwback this year.

I think this is a fascinating topic worth diving into and for more, go to the actual experts. Andy Johnson at The Fried Egg, one of those ascendant golf architecture experts I mentioned, hosted Doak on his podcast this week. They went through some of the original Raynor intent, the restoration efforts, and how the course plays for the best pros in the world on a week like this.

3) #58Watch. Breaking 60 has become somewhat passé, but it’s still an accomplishment that gets you to change the channel to golf once murmurs of a pro going super deep start rumbling on Twitter and elsewhere. Waialae is one of the better opportunities for a pro to break 60 and maybe even match Jim Furyk’s ridiculous 58 from the Travelers a few years ago.

It’s a par 70, and the present day big hitters are taking some ridiculous lines off the tees — nothing that Raynor could have imagined back when it was originally designed. We saw this from Justin Thomas last year when he torched the place for a 59 en route to his second win in the first two weeks of the 2017 season. It’s likely we’re back on #59Watch or maybe even #58Watch again this week.

4) Rookies. With this being our first full-field event of the new year, it’s also a great opportunity to get a good look at this year’s rookie class. Of course, those rookies get some much-needed starts during the wraparound schedule in the fall. But some of these early year events are major chances for them to make hay and solidify their status for the rest of the year, or at least before the priority rankings reshuffle. The Sony Open is one of their best chances to accrue some FedExCup points, with some of the upcoming West Coast swing events having smaller fields that don’t provide starts for rookies with lower priority.

We’ve seen a rookie win this event recently, with Russell Henley going low in 2013 to win the Sony in his PGA Tour debut. There’s a boatload of rookies playing this week — they’re all worth watching but some of the bigger names that may get some love are Peter Uihlein, Tom Lovelady, Aaron Wise, Stephan Jaeger, and Austin Cook, who already won during the wraparound schedule.

You’re going to get plenty of chances to watch the top players in the world rankings in the coming months. This is a good opportunity to see some of the best young up-and-comers — the players who aren’t household names but are worth rooting for and could become one soon.

How to Watch

This is really the last opportunity to watch prime-time PGA Tour golf until the fall, when the Asian swing returns during the wraparound portion of the schedule. The upcoming West Coast swing does allow for some golf to go past dinner time on the East Coast, but not by much given the limited daylight hours this time of year.

The only real options for prime-time golf would be a West Coast venue at either the U.S. Open or the PGA Championship. The USGA is fond of getting the national championship on the West Coast during the longest days of the year, allowing for finishes as late as 11 p.m. ET. But this year, we’re about as far away from the West Coast as possible with the 2018 U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills. So this is it really. Take it in because from here on out, your weekend finishes on the PGA Tour will all slot in during daylight hours.

Like last week on Maui, Golf Channel will have exclusive coverage of the entire tournament over the next four days. It’s that time of year when CBS is still occupied with football on the weekends, and these events aren’t necessarily big enough to get the bump up to NBC. And Golf Channel is plenty capable of just running with the coverage throughout, as we see during the fall series too.

It will, however, be down a man at times this week. Jim “Bones” Mackay (Phil Mickelson’s former longtime caddie, if you’re completely golf ignorant) has become one of the best parts of the Golf Channel/NBC coverage. But this week, he’s picking up the bag again and looping for Justin Thomas, whose regular caddie has to take a few weeks off due to plantar fasciitis.

Bones is going to do double duty, putting on the headset and working as a walking reporter when Thomas is not playing. But given that the defending champ tore this course up last year and will likely play well again, Bones could be on the course as a caddie and not a TV reporter during the late weekend broadcast times.

Here’s your media schedule for Sunday:

Sunday’s final round coverage

Television:

6 to 10 p.m. — Golf Channel

Online streams:

6 to 10 p.m. — Golf Channel simulcast stream

Radio:

5 p.m. — PGA Tour Radio on SiriusXM (Ch. 92/208 and streamed here)

Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

Jordan Spieth is back for the second straight year at the Sony.

Tee Times

This is the first full field event of the year. That little party on Maui last week featured just 34 players and was obviously easy to schedule over four days with a ton of flexibility. Now we’re back to the grind of sending two waves off split tees for the first 36 holes.

The original 144-man field has been cut down at the customary 36-hole mark, but that doesn’t mean they will now send them off in twosomes all rolling off No. 1. They could do that, starting at about 8 a.m. local time. But, as the AP’s Doug Ferguson explains, this is a solid for the volunteers who have been grinding through the first two sun-up to sun-down days.

We often see the Tour put them off two tees in groups of three on a weekend when severe weather threatens the schedule. This allows them to condense the entire field down into about a two-hour window. It’s exactly two hours this week in Oahu, where the first group on Sunday will not go until after 9 a.m. local. That’s about two hours earlier than Saturday’s schedule, but still gives the volunteers and tourney staff some extra cushion on Sunday morning.

The TV coverage runs until 10 p.m., but the final group should be putting out on the 18th green well before that — sometime around 9 p.m. unless there’s a dramatic pace of play issue.

UPDATE: It turns out the tee times for Sunday were moved up because of Golf Channel technicians’ strike. Unionized employees, such as camera operators, went on strike and walked out on Sunday morning, leaving Golf Channel scrambling to put together makeshift crews of contractors to broadcast their Sunday events on the Web.com Tour, PGA Tour, and Champions Tour.

Earlier start today at the Sony is because of a strike. No, not a missile. Camera/audio techs that do GC events walked out today over contract negotiations.

— Doug Ferguson (@dougferguson405) January 14, 2018

It’s a very odd situation, which we went through here with comments from one camera operator who walked out at the Web Tour event.

Here’s your full tee sheet for the third round.

Sunday’s tee sheet (all times ET!)

Off No 1 tee:

2:20 p.m.: Lanto Griffin, Kevin Kisner, Austin Cook

2:30 p.m.: Jason Dufner, Stewart Cink, Jordan Spieth

2:40 p.m.: Matt Jones, Nicholas Lindheim, Xinjun Zhang

2:50 p.m.: Corey Conners, Keith Mitchell, Jonathan Byrd

3 p.m.: Daisuke Kataoka, Gary Woodland, Jerry Kelly

3:10 p.m.: Chez Reavie, Emiliano Grillo, Ryan Blaum

3:20 p.m.: Ryan Armour, Zach Johnson, Scott Brown

3:30 p.m.: Ben Martin, James Hahn, Nate Lashley

3:40 p.m.: Talor Gooch, Scott Piercy, Rory Sabbatini

3:50 p.m.: Sam Saunders, Webb Simpson, Brian Stuard

4 p.m.: Ollie Schniederjans, Cameron Smith, Justin Thomas

4:10 p.m.: Kyle Stanley, Chris Kirk, Russell Knox

4:20 p.m.: Tom Hoge, Patton Kizzire, Brian Harman

Off No. 10 tee:

2:20 p.m.: Brandon Harkins, Adam Schenk, Charles Howell III

2:30 p.m.: Daniel Berger, Dominic Bozzelli, Tony Finau

2:40 p.m.: Wesley Bryan, Harris English, Xander Schauffele

2:50 p.m.: John Peterson, Tyrone Van Aswegen, Marc Leishman

3 p.m.: Jason Kokrak, Keegan Bradley, Brian Gay

3:10 p.m.: Conrad Shindler, Ryan Palmer, Jonathan Randolph

3:20 p.m.: Sam Ryder, Matt Every, Seamus Power

3:30 p.m.: J.J. Spaun, Hudson Swafford, Roberto Diaz

3:40 p.m.: John Oda, Kevin Tway, Andrew Putnam

3:50 p.m.: Si Woo Kim, Shugo Imahira, Stephan Jaegar

4 p.m.: Blayne Barber, Vaughn Taylor, Steve Allan

4:10 p.m.: William McGirt, D.A. Points

4:20 p.m.: Colt Knost, Joel Dahmen

Scores

Round 1 scores

The wind was down a bit in the first round, and while we got a couple low scores, it was not the birdiefest you might be accustomed to at the Sony Open. And we sure didn’t get anything approaching the 59 that Thomas posted in the opening round last year at Waialae. Your leaders are Chris Kirk and Zach Johnson, who was all over the flag with his irons in the afternoon wave. This is a classic setup that should, traditionally, favor the ZJ game and he opened his year with an impressive 63.

Jordan Spieth somehow finished in the red despite posting a snowman 8 on his penultimate hole of the day, which included four shots hitting four trees en route to the green. Not good! But Spieth piled up a bunch of birdies elsewhere and is still in okay shape at 1-under.

I think the most fascinating thing to watch in these early rounds is how some of the classic and restored holes are holding up in a pro event. The redan hole at the 17th, this year’s most dramatic change for the Sony, was worth watching all evening on the Golf Channel broadcast. The Fried Egg picked up on the new challenge.

This year vs last year on the redan hole. Today the tour played the tees up 15 yards and there was little to no wind. The hole played tougher with a larger shot dispersion than last year when the green was flat. Proof that the best way to test players is with quality architecture http://pic.twitter.com/AdUwy1ngha

— the fried egg (@the_fried_egg) January 12, 2018

Spieth will be out in the afternoon wave and in the TV window on Friday. This is a really cool early-season test and I thought Thursday’s opening round was more entertaining than any day last week at Kapalua.

Round 2 Scores:

Brian Harman, perhaps the hottest player on the PGA Tour, backed up his opening round 64 with a 63 early on Friday morning in Honolulu. Harman has been a stud since his junior golf days, but may be settling in now for a sustained run on the PGA Tour. He beat out Dustin Johnson last year at the always tough Wells Fargo Championship for his second career win. He contended on Sunday at the U.S. Open. He finished the the year with seven top 10s.

Harman began 2018 playing in the final Sunday pairing alongside DJ in Maui. People are jumping on the trendy Harman bandwagon and a win this week will only make it more crowded. This Waialae course is perfectly suited for his precision game but he’ll need to keep the pedal down and keep posting rounds in the mid-60s to stay on top of the leaderboard.

That’s because there’s always a mega-low round available out here. We’ve seen players come from way down the board with a 9-under round of 61. We know Justin Thomas can go low after his 59 last year. JT is still well within striking distance, tied for 17th at the midpoint. Jordan Spieth is probably too far gone at just 3-under but he can at least play his way into a late Sunday tee time.

Round 3 Scores:

There were low numbers available out there again on Saturday, but we still have yet to see the one player go crazy low and push 60. The round of the day belonged to Webb Simpson, who matched the round of the week with a 7-under 63. Simpson jumped 39 spots up the leaderboard and into the top 10 for the final round. He doesn’t have much of a great chance of winning, sitting still six shots behind the leading number. But it shows, as always, that big jumps can be made from deep down the leaderboard and I still think we could get a 61 before this Sony Open is over.

The man sitting atop the board with that leading number is now Tom Hoge, who was a shot shy of Simpson’s mark with a 6-under 64 on Saturday. Hoge has never won on the PGA Tour, but has seven top 10 finishes in a youngish career. Now he’s one ahead of Patton Kizzire and Brian Harman, two studs, who are in form, and won last year. It’s likely Hoge will need yet another mid-60s round on Sunday to stay on top and clinch that first career victory. He’s stayed in the range all week with a 65-65-64 run at Waialae, but the odds aren’t exactly on his side with just a one-shot cushion at a place that has seen some leaderboard volatility.

Tom Hoge takes a 1-shot lead into the final round in Honolulu. Since 2013 season began, players with a 1-shot lead through 54 holes win 25% of the time on the PGA Tour (17-for-67).

— Justin Ray (@JustinRayGC) January 14, 2018

The biggest name within striking distance is probably defending Sony Open champ and reigning player of the year Justin Thomas. He’s also six shots back at 10-under but certainly has the firepower to go low and chase them down. We’re set up for a strong Sunday at the Sony.

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - The Solicitor

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Pump Up Your Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

  Title: THE SOLICITOR Author: Sean Keefer Publisher: Four Hounds Creative Pages: 386 Genre: Mystery

When you make your living fighting for justice, the last place you expect to wake up is behind bars.

Attorney Noah Parks has spent his life keeping people out of jail.  When he’s charged with the murder of a candidate for Charleston County Solicitor he finds himself on the wrong side of the law for a crime he says he didn’t commit.

No longer fighting for others and now relying on the help of the few people he does trust, Noah must fight to clear his name and find the real killer before it’s too late.

His search will lead him through a maze of deceptions, lies, family turmoil and treachery that spans generations.

The Solicitor is set in historic Charleston and the surrounding South Carolina Lowcountry where under the surface things are not always as genteel as they appear.

ORDER YOUR COPY:

Amazon | Barnes & Noble

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR:

  What initially got you interested in writing?

One day I had a “What if…” thought about a rather intriguing legal situation. I started thinking about it more and more. When I realized I wasn’t going to shake the thought, I started writing and my first book was the product.

  What genres do you write in?

I write in the mystery/thriller genre. As I live in, and write about, South Carolina, you could likely get away with putting “Southern” before either of those monikers.

  What drew you to writing these specific genres?

I believe that I am a product of you write what you read and I have always been attracted to the mystery and legal thriller genre as a reader so it was an obvious choice for me to start in this realm as a writer.

  How did you break into the field?

Dogged determination and unyielding persistence. Since I have started writing, I have kept asking myself, “What can I do to make myself a better writer?” Then I try to do just that.

  What do you want readers to take away from reading your works?

I want readers to be able to step away from their lives, even if just for a moment, to get lost in the characters you will find in my books. Beyond that my hope is that readers will keep wanting to come back for more.

  What do you find most rewarding about writing?

There is little I enjoy more than talking to readers and getting feedback on my writing. I know time is a commodity for everyone so for readers to take the time to read my writing, I am flattered and humbled.

  What do you find most challenging about writing?

For me finding the time to write when balancing the other commitments I have.

  What advice would you give to people wanting to enter the field?

All that separates writers from non-writers is having something on paper that can be edited and expanded. If you want to be a writer, just write. Then keep writing. Start with a story and get it on paper. Then edit it to make it better.

  What type of books do you enjoy reading?

I still enjoy mysteries and thrillers, though Southern literary fiction is one of my favorite genres. I also enjoy reading cookbooks and good horror and suspense.

  Is there anything else besides writing you think people would find interesting about you?

For some reason people find it entertaining that I am a vegetarian who loves to make barbeque and cure bacon. When I’m not writing or cooking, I’m generally playing guitar or keeping people happily divorced. That and I have four dogs and a portion of the proceeds from my writing go to canine rescue groups.

  What are the best ways to connect with you, or find out more about your work?

Visit SeanKeefer.com or connect with me on Facebook at @TheNoahParksMysteries or on Instagram at @TheNoahParksMysteries.

            Prologue:

The sun’s arrival just as it cleared the horizon had always marked my favorite time of day. It wasn’t unusual to find me at dawn on the Carolina shore gazing to the east in anticipation, the ocean breeze softly brushing my face. The fleeting moments when the first rays of sunlight painted an explosion of color were more than enough to leave me knowing I was fortunate having witnessed it. Those, those were my favorite mornings and anything that followed was a bit less complicated, easier to handle.

I found myself in desperate need of such a morning.

But today there would be only cold concrete.

For the past five days, my sunrise had been a sliver of light crawling across the floor of my jail cell.

At first, I’d looked forward to it, but on the third day I realized I’d need a lot more to get me through the day, otherwise, that mere slice of sun would soon be pushing me into the icy grip of depression.

I’d quickly learned jail had a way of ushering in melancholy, even for the most optimistic. Most everyone inside, even the guards, were simply miserable.

My bail hearing had been a waste of everyone’s time. Accused murders don’t get bail with their first request, sometimes not on the second, if at all. The fact I’m a lawyer wasn’t helping. The last thing a judge wants to do is give the impression that a lawyer, particularly a criminal attorney like me, is entitled to special treatment.

Things change fast. Days earlier, my life, while not perfect, had been good.

I’d taken my girlfriend to the airport to catch a late-night flight to Chicago. She’d recently relocated to Charleston, but was wrapping up her ties to Chicago.

After returning from the airport, I turned on ESPN, eager to hear what the talking heads had to say about the South Carolina Gamecock’s next football game. As was the case for most Gamecock fans, their football season sanity ebbed or flowed with the team’s weekly performance.

It was a cool fall night and the windows were open as I watched TV from bed, my dog at my feet. Both he and I looked up as we heard a car outside–odd for that time of night in our quiet neighborhood.

The sound of the doorbell was even more unexpected, so much so I didn’t immediately get up. Rarely did anyone just drop by, especially near midnight. The second ring was immediately followed by a knock. I got out of bed, pulled on jeans and a T-shirt and went down the stairs. Austin, my Australian Shepherd, was barking and jumping beside me as I unlocked the door. He sat on my command.

I opened the door to the sight of a tall black man in plainclothes with a Charleston Police Department badge on his belt. Three uniformed Charleston County deputy sheriffs flanked him. Three police cars occupied my drive. An unmarked cruiser in the cul-de-sac completed the scene. Thankfully none had their lights on. I shifted my gaze back to the officers. Not a smile among them.

This couldn’t be good, I remember thinking.

 “Noah, how about I come in?” Emmett Gabriel said. He looked me straight in the eyes. We were the same height, just under six feet tall, but the lack of a smile, his badge, and the deputies that flanked him made him feel bigger and much stronger than me.

 I’d heard his voice many times before. At the police station, in his backyard, over a meal, on my back deck, other times through the years but never near midnight with other police officers standing on my front porch.

“Since when have you ever asked permission to come in the house?  What’s wrong?”

“Noah, let’s talk inside?”

I just stood in the doorway. Silent and motionless.

One of the officers behind him coughed, jarring me back to reality.

I stepped to the side. “Sorry, certainly, come in.”

“Wait outside,” Gabriel said to the deputies.

We walked down the short hallway into my living room in silence.

 “Where’s Anna Beth?”

A feeling of panic ran through me as he asked about my girlfriend.

“Is she okay?”

“As far as I know. She not here?”

“No. Chicago trip.”

The feeling of panic faded to one of wonder, wondering why at midnight a detective I knew was standing, unannounced, in my living room while three other anxious officers were staged on my front porch. I asked why he was here. Wonder quickly faded with the next words I heard.

 “The officers outside have a warrant for your arrest.”

Having never been one to miss the obvious, I remember uttering my insightful reply, “A warrant?”

“Yes, for the murder of Andrew Stephens.

  While growing up in South Carolina, Sean didn’t realize it, but he was absorbing the styles, mannerisms, idiosyncrasies, dialects and the culture of his home. Add to this the time he spent traveling the other Carolina for school and then North America for work, he collected a vast array of experiences and observations from which to draw upon and bring together in his writing.

After studying law in North Carolina, Sean settled in Charleston, South Carolina and instantly became enamored with the people as well as the city.  

One day he started writing and the words, generally, kept flowing. A page became a chapter which ultimately became a book known as The Trust. After this the process started again and The Solicitor was the end result. Hopefully, if you are reading this you either have, or soon will have, your very own copy of one or both.   

The experience of taking two novels from conceptualization to print has been one of frustration peppered with increasing amounts of reward.  Each step from the first words hitting the page to ultimately holding a book in hand has been a personal reward.

When Sean is not writing he practices Family Law and works as a Domestic Mediator and lives with his Wife and an ever-expanding pack of rescue canines – the current count is 4.  As well, Sean can frequently be found wandering the lowcountry of South Carolina with his camera, playing guitar in assorted venues around Charleston or exploring the underwater world of the southeast.

WEBSITE & SOCIAL LINKS:

WEBSITE | TWITTER | FACEBOOK

    BLOG TOUR – The Solicitor was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf with Shannon Muir

[systemmalfucktion]

oc asks stuff i stole and didnt proof read

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

ollie petrov, i chose the name ollie bc i liked it and pretrov is just one of the most common surnames in russia. the meaning isn’t important to his character at all 

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

nah

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

he had a decent childhood and grew up in a high income family but suffered the Neglect from daddy. his fondest memories are w childhood friends, bad memory would be Neglect from daddy and mommy and living in fear 

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

he loved his mama lots until she walked out on him, he didn’t understand why and he resented her A Lot, when he came to understand why she did it he thought she was a coward and resented her A Lot More. he never forgives her for it over the course of the entire story 

he cared for his dad maybe when he was younger but after his mom left he was basically sent off elsewhere. he made no efforts to talk to his dad over the phone or ask for visits bc he was completely content with not seeing him. after a bit he literally just hates his dad bc of Plot Related Issues, when they have their own fucked up version of Dad to Son talk later he word vomits every thing he hates about him and the dads like “ya i figured this would happen the moment u came outta mamas pussy. dammit”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

no sibs

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he was really good in school and used it as an outlet to pour all his attention into bc he liked the satisfaction it gave him when he got good grades, he planned on going to college until Plot Related Issues derailed his life. he liked the English Language and didn’t care for like science n shit

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

when he was growing up he was just a friendly nice only kid so he liked to treat friends like his family so he was well liked, when he moved away he lost all contact with anyone there. friends he makes in russia when he first moves there are mostly also left behind, hes Big on leaving places thats 4 sure

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

no pets as a child, he likes animals and is a cat person but didnt see a reason to get a pet

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

animals are probably chill with him, i imagine any instance with animals is probably just a chill one

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

same w animals, hes just chill. kids probably would like him bc hes relaxed and not strict. he likes the idea of being traditional and starting a family but he truly doesn't see it happening for him given Plot 

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

nope he eats whats put in front of him almost always

12. What is their favourite food? 

probs like a soup or something warm and filling

13. What is their least favourite food?

Get Those Damn Avocados Away  

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

when he went out to restaurants with his ma and pops as a child, or when way later his roommate Matt cooks for him when he was goin thru sum shit

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

he doesnt cook anything complicated at all, when shopping for himself its a lot of instant food bc hes cheap and doesnt care to put a lot of effort into his food. others either dont care or thinks its unhealthy

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

ive thought of this a lot and its mostly momentos, not that it matters bc every item he gets from someone is eventually left behind when he leaves russia as Symbolism. the collection serves almost no purpose bc of how often he Jumps Ship when it comes to relationships w other human beings but thats kinda the point

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

hes fine with pictures like selfies w ppl or scenery until hes in america, where he is convinced any pictures he takes or pictures hes in will end up being the reason hes found out. but in russia he liked taking silly pictures of just stuff around him. its like on instagram u dont know what someone looks like until u looked at what they were tagged in kinda, crappy over filtered pics of stuff around him like trees or windows. 1 of those instagrams....

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he likes those shitty kind of john green novel types with the manic pixie dream with the wallflower type, indie music, documentaries or crime related, video games that are story driven rather than multiplayer. just ur average Introverted Bro

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

sci fi or anything BORING like that

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

doesnt care for musicals but likes music, he gets really focused when his favorite song comes on bc he wants to appreciate it if its on and hes not focused on it he will play it over again to Appreciate it.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he has a temper but hides it well but if u manage to get him to actually lose him temper he will glare at u until its his turn to speak and argue u 1 response  before he Fucks Right Off meaning if it doesnt end right there Boy’s Got A Grudge. it doesnt happen often bc hes not huge on confrontation, the reason why goes from social anxiety when he was 14 to PSTD when he was 16

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

i dont know about favorite insults but he manages to stay polite in the face of people, and bitches about them to sergei when he can 

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

good memory and with faces for sure 

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he doesnt stay up very late all that often until he has a reason to (heists n whatnot) he sleeps on an old mattress twin sized, p soft 

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

hed probably have normie humor b4 he met the shitpost that is (i had 2 rename her bc i forgot her fuckin russian name kms but this is a name on doulingo a lot so i wont forget hopefully) vera, her humor is like my mains shitposts so hed find that stuff funny after a bit. he doesnt make many jokes 

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

hes good at hiding emotions but when hes happy abt something (thankful for ex) he’ll make it known to them, good times w friends he’ll basically mirror what they’re doing, happy when he’s by himself would be a jittery smiling Fool 

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

lots make him sad, his daddy issues, roommate issues, mental health n shit. he cries a few times and tries to be secretive about it, over time he’s not that ashamed to cry in front of sergei given that he’s seen him cry a couple times. when he’s sad he’s even more quiet and sulky. if u made him sad and said u were sorry he’d say he accepted the apology but like the mood wouldn’t lighten up at all. 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

1. big fear is probably getting hurt/attacked and being helpless (after the Great Stab), after that era he’s basically all up in self defense knowledge to prevent that turn out again. he’s scared of the ppl he deals to and eventually is scared of anyone he doesnt know well (in america, thats everyone outside of matty, joe, and austin) bc of the threat of getting caught by work peers who are looking 4 him. 

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

if he were to find out someones fear he wouldnt put it against them, if a situation came out where he could protect them from it he would try to do so casually. Nice Guy

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

he doesn’t exercise but if there were a case of him doing so pre would be a motivated Bro ready to get pumped and post would be tired dead man

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

he drank a bit in russia, hes the Underage Ollie. Underage Ollie is really clingy to sergei, the only guy he knows in the group of Bros around him, he tries to have a good time and laugh w everyone. hungover he’s sick and pitiful, boo hoo woe is me i feel like shit kinda way. when ollies around drunk sergei imagine this season of morty dealing with rick, like fed the fuck up but caring uknow? 

Not Underage Ollie is a lil more fun, he went 2 sum clubs w austin only a few times  ;) ;), hungover he was a less whiny version of Underage Ollie. he’s less caring when others are drunk around him bc its austin and austin drinks irresponsibly and is also is ex so SHRUG 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

he dresses comfort over fashion and owns like 3 shirts basically. clothes shopping is not really a priority for him at all, but he does appreciate some aesthetics just not on himself.  he sleeps in his panties (undies) with a shirt, doesnt wear makeup. his hair is a mousy brown i guess? its not tamed at all hes got that anime boy protag gohan/luffy/ash hair  

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxer briefs 

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

hes a slight young twink man, and in his youth hes like 5′5 and it caps at like 5′10 maybe when he’s an adult. he’s ok w his body but everyones got insecurities 

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

guilty pleasure are the john green type shitty novels and the ungulity pleasure is idk! slime vids or something

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

he’s good at writing i guess (4 school, in english n russian), he likes 2 read, and he can sing but its like generic male voice singing. its just ok

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

he likes 2 read and he’s fast i guess, n like i said the genre he likes is that shitty poetic adorkable fictional stuff 

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

he likes when ppl are assertive, not really when assertive @ him, but when they can be assertive in general. he would love to be able to hold any power in any conversation he’s in between ages 0-18

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

emails and messages 

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

he can stay awake without any energy boosters for a while

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

he’s gay, he likes Boys. he likes nice friendly boys who basically carry out social interactions and are good at not letting things get awkward (this goes for austin and matt and even vera). he needs a lot of space, like an unhealthy amount of space, Like Mayhaps There’s Something Wrong amount of space. 

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

goals: get outta the bis! 

sacrifice: friend’s safety/livelihood!

secret ambition/guilty subconscious: get in bis and succeed 2 make papa proud! its a job handed to him that makes BANK and is basically a fallback if his goal doesnt work except he wont admit it to himself

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

no religion basically, he would probably not be an asshole about it but be kinda an asshole abt religion in private

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

he loves the winter bc he likes being bundled up, overcast sky, he’s good in the cold and he complains abt wet weather (rain and snow) 

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

like he’s a troubled navie kid, and he’ll come around when it comes time for him to work. ollie doesnt know about the work he has to do when he’s older for a while, all he knows is that everyone is Preparing him for something. he knows he’s troubled but he doesnt think of himself as stubborn like other ppl do. 

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

no, most of the time he’s kinda awkward. it reflects him p good :(. he basically just goes “hey im ollie” and depending on who it is he’ll explain what he’s doing like “i have your coke” or “im austins friend. thanks for taking me in” 

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

he’ll act mannerly and polite like he usually does, he likes getting dressed up fancy and being in a fancy space. not one for chit chat but he’s not Hating it

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

he doesnt care for parties i guess, he turns up at them to supply the good stuff and he tries to act like it’s a job, except usually the person he deals with is like ??? y so serious bitch? he’s dragged along by sergei p often, he doesnt complain in front of others but throws fits with him before or after

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Daddys Jacket. its just a winter coat that he wears a lot

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? 

accurate to what happsn in canon. his clothes, phone, chargers, wallet, and i think that would be it. hes pretty minimalist and doesnt want to be held down by stuff cus when he went to america he did so Swiftly. 

[13walls]

Joel Gion, best known for his work with the Brian Jonestown Massacre, is setting up to release his sophomore solo record later this year. Following up his sunny 2014 album  Apple Bonkers, Gion speaks with A Love That’s Sound about recording new music with his BJM buddies, politics, psych festivals and spaghetti westerns.

David Lacroix: How are things going right now in San Francisco? Joel Gion: Things are fine, it’s freezing with a capital “F.” It’s been freezing rain which is not normal.  It’s been keeping me off of my scouter, which I don’t dig but yeah, it’s cool man. Like in a lot of places, we’ve had the big march, a lot of stuff has been going on.

Joel Gion @ Levitation Vancouver, 2015. Photo: David Lacroix.

You have started the new year off with a new single called “Tomorrow,” which bears some political sentiment. Can you tell us a bit about that song?

Joel Gion: I feel like I’ve been on the planet long enough that you see certain patterns over and over again and one of them is never get either of our political parties in office more than two terms in a row. There’s a lot of different types of people in the country but there’s two specific big groups that can be lobbed into. The political parties, it seems like have to give it up and over to the other side after at least every 8 years or that side will end up going ballistic at what they don’t like. In order to actually keep the peace and keep people from getting together and  from really making the moves to make actually change, they placate everyone by passing the baton back and forth before things get too hot and heavy for one side or the other. That’s been going on a long time.

I just wrote the song in the fall, at least I recorded the song in January, and for whatever reason there’s some red tape where I kind of expected my record to be out right now but it isn’t and I just thought “I kind of wrote this song with this event in mind so I thought “Im just going to put this out myself,” which I did. I don’t want to be Mr. Message, I don’t want to say “hey, I know what’s going on, let me tell you what’s up, kids” or anything like that. I’m just a dude living on the planet, I’m not looking for these things but they present themselves to me so often and it’s so in your face obvious that when I go to write about something, these sorts of topics present themselves. It was also “yeah, it’s complete horse-shit, but you still gotta have fun,” ya, know? It’s sort of a party song at the same time.

Matt Hollywood & Joel Gion w/ BJM, 2012. Photo: Bev Davies.

DL: Some of your friends were very politically active this past election. Did you watch your friend Zia McCabe (of the Dandy Warhols) speak in support of Bernie Sanders?

Joel Gion: I sure did. It was wonderful. That was the event when the bird came, flew in and landed on the podium. You can’t ask for a bigger sign to have then the bird of peace come down and want to hang out with this guy. We were all so optimistic. At the time that I wrote this song, it was during the Democratic National Convention when to me in my mind, the real villain was Clinton. She was for the corporations; she represented big money and the huge class divide that’s getting more and more insane. So yeah, I was a Bernie Sanders guy; at the time she was kind of the villain. Nobody thought that it would come down to this where Donald Dude-Bro is in there…. so that was the big concern back then. Now it’s nothing.

Joel Gion @ Levitation Vancouver 2015. Photo: David Lacroix.

DL: This last fall, you released a song titled “Divide” that has a strong Tropicalia influence. Can you tell us a bit about that song?

Joel Gion: Yeah, that’s kind of a leak to some of the direction that the new record will be representing. There’s things that I enjoy in pretty much every genre of music, although I’m not a heavy metal guy. But I can find something that I love in almost everything. Brazilian music, jazz, soul and then of course my roots of shoe-gaze, psych, blues and classic rock stuff. I’m trying to incorporate different things into the mix. That’s definitely the most overt Brazilian song but there’s more of that type of energy on the way as well. We recorded the majority of the album in at Revolver Studios in Portland which is run by  Colin Hegna, the bass player for the BJM. His band Federale has got some pretty heavy-duty spaghetti moves.

The Committee To Keep Music Evil.

DL: The Last album was mostly recorded with Rob Campanella, was it not?

Joel Gion: Yeah the last one was leaning more heavily to his studio, the Committee to Keep Music Evil and I also did some at Colin’s studio in Portland. This new one is kind of flipped where it’s the other way around. We did most of that album down there in LA. I had Dan Allaire from the BJM come and play drums on the majority of it; Plucky played on three songs.  We got Rob and whoever else we could drag in there – Miranda Lee Richards who is a great soul singer and used to be in BJM way back in the day. You had the whole L.A. wrecking crew coming in. It was neat.

DL: What’s the title of your upcoming record?

Joel Gion: It’s going to be self-titled. I was the biggest influence on myself this time around. It represents more of where I am coming from. The first album was me staking my claim in the songwriting ring and really showing my colours on the music that got me here and probably the music I should have been making a long time ago. I think I just needed to get that “never happened” first album out of me. This one is much more influenced by the things that I listen to now. I’m making my own thing out of it, before I was just joining the parade as it were.

Joel Gion @ Levitation Vancouver 2015. Photo: David Lacroix.

DL: What was it like playing with the Primary Colours?

Joel Gion: that was my crew, my local San Francisco crew. Because of the gentrification and the tech industry, there’s lots of factors where most of my friends no longer live here. These were my DJ friends that I made. I asked them if they wanted to play these songs with me and they were into it because the BJM who play on the record are all so spread out, there was no way to have a local band. You can’t have these guys come to San Francisco to play some 200 seater, ya know? We had a lot of fun.

DL: You played an excellent set at Levitation Vancouver festival in 2015. Will you be seeking Raymundo Calderon, Yvonne Hernandez and Christof Certik to be touring again?

Joel Gion: Absolutely! We kind of morphed into the lineup we had at Levitation Vancouver because some of the BJM guys became more available and got integrated in but I still have some of those primary colours people in my band., it’ll be the same group the next time around that you had there. But we have to get a flute player! Flute, congas, it’s expanding… it’s kind of blowing up.

DL: You have a few friends and bandmates in cowboy bands, are you a fan of spaghetti westerns and cowboy music music in general?

Joel Gion: Well, my favourite composer of all time is Ennio Morricone. I have a huge music collection and I have an entire shelf that’s just movies where Morricone scores the soundtrack. A lot of the movies aren’t that good but the scores are great. Primarily from the mid ‘60s to the late ‘70s is kind of the zone but yeah, spaghetti westerns and Morricone, I certainly do love that stuff.

On my new album there will be a little bit of that style well, more of his psych-lounge mode, not so much western. There will be a tiny hint of western on there but nothing like your Spindrift or Federale.

BJM @ Desert Daze 2016. Photo: David Lacroix.

DL: What was your experience like at this year’s Desert Daze Festival? What did you think of the oil projections with the BJM set?

Joel Gion: I think it’s a great festival. We go to psych fest usually, either to play or just hang out in Austin. This had a very similar vibe but it was scaled down. But you know….. the whole place was built by Frank Lloyd Wright so that in of itself made it amazing for me. It was a really neat vibe, it was really similar to your Austin Psych Fest/Levitation kind of vibe. We had a great time. I couldn’t really see the light show. It was on me. [Laughs]. But I heard it was really good. I guess I saw some youtube clips, yeah. Somebody threw a bottle or a shoe or something. We were playing and I saw it rocketing straight for my head and I got out of the way just in time. There’s video if it on youtube… but yeah… enthusiastic crowd!

DL: Speaking about BJM history, your first involvement on a BJM recording was with Take it From the Man , which was the first record to go revisit ‘60s garage guitar instead of the louder shoe-gaze style present on Spacegirl and Methodrone. Given the recent resurgence in ‘60s music, do you feel that that record helped revive that style back in 1996?

Joel Gion: Yeah, I would have to and Matt Hollywood or Dean Taylor, Brian Glaze and anyone else who was around at the time would say the same thing. I certainly didn’t introduce that kind of music to Anton in any kind of way but when I came around I was a huge cheerleader for embracing that and turning people onto bands like the Small Faces and really pushing to embrace the Rolling Stones – Brian Jones kind of imagery.

I guess that you could say it all naturally happened at once, at least I better say that, but I was definitely pushing for things to go in that direction. I fell into a period where I basically fell off the face of the earth for a couple of months and when I came back Anton had At Her Satanic Majesty’s Second Request finished and he had just taken it to such a whole other level at that point. I was completely blown away by that record; it’s still my favourite; it’s a complete psychedelic piece. Also, I hadn’t heard any of  it. When you are making albums, you hear tracks over and over again to the point where they lose some of their sparkle but I hadn’t heard any of it. Also, because of that, it might be my favourite album by the band. I was just blown away when Anton played me that.

DL: Do you recall the first time you heard or saw “Anemone” performed?

Joel Gion: Unfortunately, because of the same reason, I wasn’t around. Mara Keagle, who sings that song, joined the band right after I left on keyboard and played some tambourine and filled that part. I never got to play with the band when she was doing it. When I rejoined the band, that song wasn’t played for quite some time. It wasn’t really the standard and crowd favourite that it has become. I don’t even remember playing it until I rejoined the band after Dig! came out.

Mara Keagle w/ the BJM @ Desert Daze 2016. Photo: David Lacroix.

DL: 2017 marks half a century since the summer of love. What are your thoughts on music 50 years after 1967?

Joel Gion: Well, I dunno man, I don’t listen to a lot of new bands these days. Most of the music I listen to comes from the ‘60s and ‘70s, I think for a lot of people that is the case. There’s a huge vinyl resurgence going right now but its primary old vinyl. I like new music but for me, I dunno… I like the old stuff so I guess it is the summer of love for me; I guess the summer of love never ended.

Photos: Bev Davies,  David Lacroix. Artwork: Marie Ingouf. Interview: David Lacroix.

  BJM @ Austin Psych Fest 2014. Photo: David Lacroix.

A Love That's Sound speaks with Joel Gion of the BJM about his forthcoming 2017 record. Joel Gion, best known for his work with the Brian Jonestown Massacre, is setting up to release his sophomore solo record later this year.

[junker-town]

Bret Bielema's Arkansas brand is strong, but where are the wins?

“How are the Razorbacks doing?” is one of college football’s trickiest questions heading into 2017.

How should we judge how a coach is doing?

We know how fans do it. It’s a combination of wins, rivalry wins, linear improvement, and how often his offensive coordinator calls the touchdown play. We don’t deal well with setbacks, and we don’t tolerate much context. And the short-term fan view probably isn’t something the long-term administrator should use.

(Of course, it’s hard to ignore this view when the richer fans threaten to remove their support if said offensive coordinator doesn’t call said touchdown play more often.)

I ask this because I’m finding it difficult to evaluate how Bret Bielema is doing.

Bielema has brought a strange stability to a program that lived in an all-or-nothing universe.

From 2004-13, Arkansas became one of the most volatile programs you'll ever see. The Razorbacks had three top-15 finishes and 10-win campaigns in this span; they also went 5-7 or worse five times. They averaged seven wins per year without ever actually winning seven games in a year.

Bielema has gone 7-6, 8-5, and 7-6 the last three years. The first seven-win season was unlucky, and the second was lucky, but steady it has been.

After a first-year reset, Bielema has fielded, per S&P+, a top-10 defense, a top-10 offense, and two top-20 teams. Granted, he hasn't gotten both sides of the ball figured out simultaneously — his defense surged while his offense occasionally labored, then his offense surged as his defense regressed — but the spikes have been impressive.

Bielema has established a true brand, which is hard to do in college football. He called one of his team’s best performances, the 2014 Texas Bowl romp over Texas, “borderline erotic” in the way that the Razorbacks dominated the clock (41 minutes of possession) and played impossibly physical football. He recruits the meatiest linemen and builds his team’s identity from there.

Actually, let’s back up. This is an identity he has sold.

He would be well-served to better establish it.

His identity has been one of a powerful run game that keeps the chains moving with efficient rushing and girth in short yardage. This style will supposedly wear teams down and allow you to control the late stages of a game. But practice doesn’t match theory:

In four years, Bielema's Hogs are 6-12 in games decided by one possession. They were 0-7 in his first two years and have improved to 6-5, a smidge over .500.

Last year, they ranked 74th in Rushing S&P+, and that was bolstered by explosive plays. They were dreadful at staying ahead of the chains on the ground: 102nd in rushing success rate, 109th in stuff rate, and 128th in power success rate. Out of 128 teams.

Dear lord, was Arkansas an awful second-half team last year. On offense, the Razorbacks were third in first-quarter S&P+, 14th in the second quarter, 119th in the third, and 57th in the fourth. The defense was below average in every quarter but hit rock bottom at 107th in the fourth quarter. They outscored opponents by 87 in the first half and got outscored by 100 in the second. They led Missouri 24-7 at halftime and led Virginia Tech 21-0; they lost both games.

Despite the identity, Bielema's best moments have come when he had an unstoppable passing attack (first in Passing S&P+ in 2015) and a reckless defense (seventh in Def. S&P+ and havoc rate in 2014).

If the Hogs end up really good in 2017, it could be because of those things. Quarterback Austin Allen returns for his senior season after flashes of brilliant play (22nd in Passing S&P+, 3,430 passing yards, 14 yards per completion).

Meanwhile, after watching his defense slip to the mid-60s in Def. S&P+ for two straight years, Bielema brought in coordinator Paul Rhoads. Rhoads couldn’t bring enough talent to Ames as former Iowa State head coach, but he had a few strong defenses at ISU and was a tremendous coordinator under Dave Wannstedt (whom I must point out was also awful in close finishes) at Pitt.

Will they be able to run the ball, though? They lost their best running back (Rawleigh Williams III) and best lineman (left tackle Dan Skipper), and while just about everybody else in those two units returns, it’s counterproductive to lose your best pieces while trying to restore a run game that slumped so thoroughly.

If the run game isn’t better, will the Hogs suffer the same fate as the last few years, putting themselves within shouting distance of great but settling for solid? And if that happens again, at what point does Arkansas decide that’s all Bielema’s going to do?

2016 in review

2016 Arkansas statistical profile.

The record has been steady, but that was about the only thing you could label with that word in 2016. The Razorbacks’ brilliant performances were as brilliant as ever — 97th percentile in a 31-10 win over Florida, 89th in a 42-3 win over Texas State, 84th in a 58-42 win over Mississippi State — but each seemed to be preceded or followed by a drastic letdown.

Following the Texas State win, the Razorbacks hit only the 33rd percentile in a 45-24 loss to Texas A&M. Before the win over Florida was a humiliating, eighth-percentile, 56-3 loss at Auburn. And following A&M was a 30th-percentile performance in a 38-10 loss to LSU.

At the end of the year, the Razorbacks squeezed both the brilliance and the letdowns into single games. The season had seen them blow a 13-point halftime lead against TCU before they rallied to win in overtime, and the A&M letdown happened all after halftime (it was 17-17 at half). But the first halves of the Missouri and Virginia Tech games were sheer dominance; the second halves were dreck.

If the Razorbacks end up strong again in 2017, we’ll say 2016 was a product of youth. Allen was taking over for his brother Brandon at quarterback, and the run game was learning to live without 2015 leading rusher Alex Collins and three long-term starting linemen. The defense was too experienced to get away with stagnation, but if the offense had a few more tricks up its sleeve, maybe that would have chased away the second-half demons.

Maybe they’ll have those tricks this year?

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

That chart almost couldn’t stray further from the Bielema brand. The Razorbacks were run-heavy on standard downs but awful at actually generating standard-downs yardage. Allen, however, was capable of occasional passing downs brilliance — he had a 170.7 passer rating on second downs, and while he completed just 43 percent of his passes on third-and-4 or longer, 28 of his 37 completions in those situations generated first downs.

If the run still hasn’t completely clicked, maybe Arkansas should give Allen more passes in friendlier downs and distances.

Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Devwah Whaley

Granted, the run might click. As strong as Williams was, his per-carry production was almost duplicated by true freshman backup Devwah Whaley. The blue-chipper averaged just 3.5 yards per carry in his first four games and had just five carries for one yard in the bowl game. But in between that, he averaged 65 yards per game and 6.4 yards per carry. He carried 19 times for 112 yards in the shootout win over MSU.

If Whaley continues to develop (as most sophomores do), he could be tremendous. And in that way, the loss of Williams might be about the loss of Whaley as a second-stringer — do the Hogs have a decent backup? Bielema yanked South Carolina graduate transfer David Williams away from UConn at the last minute, but Williams has yet to prove himself to any major degree. And if he doesn’t stick on the second string, it’ll likely be high-three-star freshman Chase Hayden.

If Whaley gets hurt, the Arkansas run game is every bit as iffy as it was. But with Whaley perhaps growing more consistent (only 39 percent of his carries gained at least five yards, slightly below the national average), perhaps the line will take a step too. Six linemen return with starting experience, and young four-stars like sophomore Jalen Merrick and redshirt freshman Jake Heinrich are waiting for their turn in the rotation.

Those short-yardage numbers, though. Yuck. Even considering youth, there’s no excuse for a team this big, with this many former star recruits, to rank last in short-yardage execution. This offense can’t approach its ceiling if the Hogs don’t improve to at least average in this regard.

Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Jared Cornelius

There’s another reason why Arkansas will need its run game to be more consistent: a brand new receiving corps.

Six of last year’s top eight targets are gone, including a pair of 700-yard receivers in Drew Morgan and Keon Hatcher. Hatcher and fellow departee Dominique Reed combined to average 16.6 yards per catch, and half of Hatcher’s 44 catches gained at least 15 yards.

I’ve written quite a bit on the effects of continuity in the receiving corps. Your percentage of returning production at receiver has as much of an impact on your overall S&P+ ratings as any other production category. But if you’re an Arkansas fan looking for a reason why the Hogs may be able to buck this trend, you’ve got evidence.

First, there’s Allen. He looked every bit as effective as his brother at times and could be ready for high-caliber play no matter who he’s throwing to.

Beyond that, you’ve still got senior receiver Jared Cornelius, who led the receiving corps with 10.7 yards per target and produced a solid 52 percent success rate. You’ve got some high-ceiling youngsters: Whaley could be a home run hitter on check downs, four-star sophomore tight end Cheyenne O’Grady had three catches for 63 yards over the last three games, and sophomore La’Michael Pettway and freshman Koilan Jackson have been early fall camp stars thus far.

So yeah, the potential may be as high as ever. But having this many new pieces is a recipe for massive inconsistency.

Defense

You never know for sure how a guy will do in returning to an old role. The game has changed enough that Rhoads is not automatically going to do great things for Arkansas simply because he fielded some fantastic Pitt defenses between 2000-07, and simply because he was able to drag a two-deep of low-three-star recruits to three straight Def. S&P+ top-50 performances (2010-12).

At the least, though, you know why he might do well. Lord knows the bar’s low at the moment.

After ranking seventh in Def. S&P+ in 2014, the Razorbacks slumped to 65th in 2015 and 64th in 2016. The 2016 unit rushed the passer pretty well (45th in Adj. Sack Rate) while doing a reasonable job of preventing big pass plays. They got their hands on a lot of passes — 39 percent of opponents’ incompletions were due to either an interception or breakup, 14th in the country. That Rhoads was Arkansas’ DB coach last year is maybe a good sign, then.

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McTelvin Agim

The biggest story for this defense in 2017 is not the change in coordinator; it’s the change in structure. Bielema requested a move to a 3-4 defense, in part because “you naturally become more athletic with eight guys on their feet.”

You could assert that he made the move because he has a lot more natural linebackers than linemen. Five of last year’s top six linemen are gone, though there’s plenty of potential among the returnees. Sophomore blue-chipper McTelvin Agim could develop into something spectacular, giant senior Bijhon Jackson is a decent play-maker for his size, and fellow sophomores Austin Capps and T.J. Smith combined for three tackles for loss in backup duty. Plus, there seems to be enough size to translate from 4-3 to 3-4 — at 339 pounds and semi-agile, Jackson is a custom-made two-gap nose tackle, and Agim, Capps, and Smith are all at least 286 pounds. Still, that’s a lot of turnover.

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Ryan Pulley

If the line holds up, you can see a lot of other pieces falling into place. Six of last year’s top seven linebackers return, including junior Randy Ramsey, who was maybe the Hogs’ best play-making linebacker. At 6’4, 228 pounds, he looks the part of a 3-4 outside linebacker. And perhaps a slight shift in responsibilities will create play-makers out of guys like Dwayne Eugene, Dre Greenlaw, and De’Jon Harris, who played lots of snaps but didn’t do a ton with them.

Arkansas also returns one of two disruptive corners — Jared Collins had 12 passes defensed but departed; Ryan Pulley had 15 and returns — and basically every safety. That’s could give Rhoads confidence to attack up front. And if the DBs only occasionally get burned, it might be worth it.

Special Teams

Arkansas had bailouts in place for its inefficient run game. Allen was pretty good on passing downs, and punter Toby Baker basically provided an extra half a first down with each punt. Baker ranked fourth in the county in punt efficiency, averaging 44.4 yards per kick and allowing returns on only 18 of 57 punts.

Baker’s now gone, which — combined with the turnover in the receiving corps — takes the training wheels off for Whaley and company.

Without Baker, Arkansas’ special teams were hit and miss. Connor Limpert’s kickoffs rarely resulted in touchbacks, and Deon Stewart’s kick returns were inconsistent, but Cole Hedlund was a decent place-kicker, and Jared Cornelius was strong in punt returns. They’re all back.

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 2-Sep Florida A&M NR 54.4 100% 9-Sep TCU 21 -1.8 46% 23-Sep vs. Texas A&M 19 -4.8 39% 30-Sep New Mexico State 124 27.0 94% 7-Oct at South Carolina 36 -0.7 48% 14-Oct at Alabama 1 -27.9 5% 21-Oct Auburn 9 -8.9 30% 28-Oct at Ole Miss 26 -4.7 39% 4-Nov Coastal Carolina 114 23.6 91% 11-Nov at LSU 4 -17.2 16% 18-Nov Mississippi State 30 2.5 56% 25-Nov Missouri 53 7.2 66%

Projected S&P+ Rk 32 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 29 / 51 Projected wins 6.3 Five-Year S&P+ Rk 9.0 (32) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 26 / 31 2016 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -4 / 3.1 2016 TO Luck/Game -2.7 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 57% (55%, 58%) 2016 Second-order wins (difference) 5.6 (1.4)

After rousing success in his first year at Wisconsin, Bielema hit a funk. His Badgers fell from 12-1 to 9-4 in 2007, then to 7-6 in 2008, and with the standard Barry Alvarez had set, there pressure was growing. Bielema responded with a 10-3 2009 and then went to three straight Rose Bowls, with two top-10 finishes. His record in one-possession games, meanwhile, oscillated drastically: 6-0, then 2-5, then 10-2, then 3-9.

Don’t count Bielema out just because he’s hit a frustrating patch, in other words.

Bielema’s timing hasn’t been right yet. For all we know, it might never be right, but it’s not hard to see Arkansas putting all the pieces together soon. The main problem: the prevalence of big-time underclassmen suggests a team-wide surge in 2018, but since Allen’s a senior, this surge would coincide with a new QB.

But we’ll talk about 2018 in 2018. For now, you’re looking at a team that is projected 32nd overall in S&P+, with two likely losses (at Alabama, at LSU), a probable loss (Auburn), three slam-dunk wins (Florida A&M, NMSU, Coastal Carolina) ... and six relative tossups.

S&P+ gives the Hogs between 39 and 66 percent win probability on half the schedule, which means close-game operation and the ability to finish will determine whether we’re looking at another 7-6 season (as S&P+ basically projects) or something greater.

Things have turned around for Bielema before, but it’s hard to assume it until we see it.

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