#leela.writes

[kisstuals]

if blue could be happiness

PAIRING. na jaemin x female!reader WORD COUNT. 2.4k CONTAINS. angst, romance, actor!au WARNINGS. implied smut, just the reader being sad and in her head a lot, pretty reflective and retrospective, not much plot more emotions and vibes PLAYLIST. if blue could be happiness - florist | never goodbye - nct dream | liability - lorde NOTE. turns out i love complex female characters and depressing stories and men who fall harder… who is sensing a theme in my works? also im kinda back hahahaha hope everyone has been well xx. i’d say i’ll be more active now but i have a bad track record. that being said, please do give this some love and interact and let me know ur thoughts bc that will motivate me to be more active and post more things!!! would love to chat with you all <3

All you have ever known is being alone, so you can’t help but pull away when Jaemin comes into your life. Too bad he’s here to stay.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TRAVELING, there is a wave of relief that hits you when the plane finally makes its descent in New York City. The tall buildings shimmer against the twilight sky, and even from so far away, you can sense the hustle and bustle of the always-busy city. You can imagine people getting off work after staying late, going into bars for happy hour. They laugh and giggle with their friends with a drink in their hands. New York City is always alive, and that’s why you love being there, as the fervor and excitement almost allows you to forget about how empty you feel all the time.

Despite that, there is a blue stillness around. A cloud of comfort, broken by a brief anticipation.

Your fingers curl around your seatbelt, waiting for the indication that you could finally take it off and leave the plane. It had been a month since you were last home, as you had been in Paris for the shoot of your upcoming movie. There is no doubt that your time there had been lovely, for you participated in every cliche there was for a Parisian tourist… eating too many croissants every day, visiting the Eiffel Tower, getting lost in the Louvre. The actual work you had gone to Paris for also concluded smoothly, but film shoots were never a problem for someone like you who actually enjoys their job.

None of that mattered though. You were aching to finally be home. It’s difficult to ignore your heart that is practically beating out of your chest, but that may be for reasons other than simply arriving back in your favorite city.

Reasons that are called Na Jaemin.

You wonder if he thought about you nearly as much as you did over the past month. And why would you, consider that you were the one who pushed him away. But you keep on wondering this as you leave the plane. He plagues your mind at the baggage claim, when you get into the car waiting for you, and the entire ride home. The buzz of your phone on the leather seat next to you is the only thing that pulls you out of your daze, eyes blindly following whatever buildings you could see in the distance. It was getting late, but New York never slept.

It buzzes again, and you finally blink before reaching for your phone. It’s a text from your sister, who had been house-sitting for you (or, more of an excuse to hang out in the city).

sister: he just showed up.

Your eyebrows furrow. The texts keep coming in

sister: (name). sister: JAEMIN IS HERE sister: when are you getting back?

Movements growing frantic, you quickly look outside for a landmark, realizing you were still pretty far from your apartment. And with the city traffic, it would at least be another hour.

you: WDYM HE’S HERE? you: i won’t be home for a while you: tell him to go wait in my room

She sends you a thumbs up and you sigh, leaning back into your seat to close your eyes in hopes of getting some rest. Your efforts prove to be futile, of course, because he’s all you can think about.

The first time you met him, you were drunk out of your mind. It was Ryujin’s party for actors to gather and mingle if you remembered correctly, but truthfully your memories of that night were pretty foggy. Everyone was dressed nicely and there was expensive liquor lining the countertops, but you ungracefully stumbled into Jaemin, a new and rising actor whose name was everywhere on the tabloids, in a corner somewhere. See, you were normally always on your best behavior, with perfectly styled hair, manicured nails, and hands folded politely. You never tripped over your own feet. You never spoke out of turn. You never did what you weren’t supposed to do, which was a long list considering you were an A-list actress with an image pristine like glass. People looked up to you.

So you had really no explanation for how Jaemin’s hands ended up around your waist, his lips chasing your own. Your body was hot against his, aching for his touch, and when you finally gave in, there was no stopping either of you. His lips moved ferociously against yours, lighting your skin on fire wherever they touched you.

It was no surprise you ended up in his bed later that night, but it was equally less of a surprise that you left the next morning before he could even wake up.

Yet, that was only the beginning. You seemed to run into him everywhere. At parties of mutual friends, you didn’t even realize you shared. At dress fittings, because the stylist for your next movie also happened to be his personal stylist. At the new coffee shop you decided to try out, and then realized was his favorite.

Suddenly, you couldn’t run away anymore. He was going to be in your life, whether you willed for it or not, so you entertained it for a brief minute. So you kissed him at parties and showed up at dress fittings with your hand in his. Every Sunday, you went to his favorite coffee shop together. You went to sleep in his bed and woke up in his arms. His name was linked to yours, and everyone talked about it, but you didn’t care. You had relinquished all control of your life.  

It was great, until it wasn’t. Until he got too close, and you went too far.

That night, there was a downpour in New York City and you retreated back into the comforts of your home. Of the perfect, orderly life you built for yourself.

And the next morning, you left for Paris.

There is a tremble in your fingers as you enter the code to your apartment. Why was he here? You pushed him away, and then he was meant to stay away. People don’t usually try so hard to remain in your life. Probably because of how distant you keep your heart from them. Or maybe that’s why you began doing it in the first place. It’s been so long, you cannot even remember what came first.

Your sister greets you with a worried smile as you enter. She takes your coat from you and you take a moment to set down your belongings, including the large suitcase you had been hauling behind you. The longer you take to go into your room, the longer you have to prepare for whatever is about to happen.

“(Name). He’s been waiting.” Your sister says, looking pointedly at your room door. You’ve dug your toes so far into black boots that you are afraid they may appear at the other end. There is a fleeting touch of comfort on your shoulder before she walks away. With a sigh, you take off your shoes and arrange them neatly on the shoe rack.

In an apartment as big as yours, the walk to your room is shorter than you remember, but you know you cannot delay this any further. Jaemin is definitely aware of your presence, no matter how softly your clothed feet hit the wooden floor of your apartment, so you finally open the door.  

Your heart stills when you see him. He’s sitting at the foot of your bed, wearing a fluffy brown jacket and a hat to match. It’s pretty obvious how he looks out of place against your cold, blue walls.

“Hi.” His smile is cautious like you might run away upon seeing him. His worries are not entirely absurd though, as you do consider backing away. But his eyes are warm, and you remember how much you are aching for his touch. You can’t help but take another step towards him.

“Hi.” Your voice cracks and he notices, but you both choose to ignore it.

“How was Paris?”

“It was good.” The temperature of your room must be near freezing, but somehow your words are colder. Jaemin winces, subtle yet noticeable, and stands up, rubbing his hands on his jeans. You pray that he doesn’t move any closer to you, as then you might actually run away, and somehow, he listens.

The heart is a silly little thing, because you find yourself disappointed at the distance between Jaemin and you, even though this ruin was your doing.

“(Name)...” You’re not sure what he’s going to say, but the deep breath he takes before speaking lets you know that you are not ready to hear it. Not yet.

“Sorry for making you wait. Got stuck in traffic.” You begin moving around the room to straighten up a few things that suddenly looked out of order, even though no one had entered your room while you were gone.

“Oh, uh, it’s okay.” His gaze follows your every move. “I hope your sister wasn’t uncomfortable with me just showing up.”

“No, not uncomfortable. Just surprised that you’re here.” Arranging your lipsticks from the darkest red to the lightest nude seemed like the perfect task at this moment, so you stand in the corner of your room farthest from Jaemin, hovering over your vanity.

He sighs. “Me too.”

This makes you glance back at him, eyebrows raised. “You are… also surprised that you’re here?”

“Yeah, considering how you just left me, why would I want to be here?” Jaemin is always honest, and you appreciate him for that, but you can’t ignore the guilt that pools in your stomach as you finally meet his eyes.

Your lips purse, and if you’re feeling anything, you don’t let it show. “Why are you here, then?”

This is the question that ultimately pushes him over the edge. Jaemin’s expression darkens as he finally closes the distance between you two, stopping just close enough so you could feel his breath against yours.

“You’re seriously asking me this? After everything?” He asks incredulously, his eyes searching for answers in your own

“I told you it was over.”

“Okay, but why?” You don’t answer, but you also don’t step away. “What are you afraid of?” Your lip quivers.

“Stop,” you whisper, as you feel your resolve starting to break. Jaemin takes a step back but keeps going.

“That I’ll break your heart? That I’ll leave you and go away?” He lets out an empty, pained laugh. “Well, isn’t that what you’ve done?”

“Jaemin, I–” You begin to speak, but now it’s his turn to cut you off.

“But despite all that, I still love you.” Your eyes widen, and an unknown, indescribable feeling overtakes your entire being. A single tear escapes you, of guilt, and fear, of love and longing.

The room is silent for a minute, and then another.

You are unsure of what the proper response to his confession should be, but whatever it is, you have messed it up already by waiting so long. You owe him an answer, because of everything you’ve put him through. Because you walked into his life, and then walked out, doing it first as you were afraid he would soon enough. But above all, because you loved him too, despite everything you had tried to convince yourself of.

“I’m sorry.” You aren’t sure how to put all your thoughts in words, so you decide to apologize first, instead. And even though it may be a deflection, you hope he realizes that it’s sincere.

But there’s disbelief in his eyes, and you hate that he doubts you, even though you’ve given him every reason to. “That’s it?”

“You’re right. I left because I wanted to do it before you could.” You continue, providing him with the honesty he deserved from day one. “I was so sure you would, because people always leave anyway, you know? They come into my life, I get used to them, then they leave, and I have to get used to life without them. There’s only so many times you can do that before you simply cannot anymore.”

Jaemin’s expression is unreadable as he considers what you said. “So, the solution was to push me away, even though I told you I wasn’t going anywhere that night?” Now his tone is neutral, and you are unable to figure out if he is mad, upset, or disappointed by your explanation.

“Do you know how many times I’ve been told that?”

You had always known that the film world was a lonely one. Your dad was a producer and your mom was an actress. They fell in love when they were twenty and fell out of love when they were twenty-five, with affairs and scandals galore. That left you and your sister, mere toddlers, stuck in the middle, as they threatened to leave each other. Eventually, they just left you. Despite all that, you chose to go down the same path, as the film world was the only world you knew. And then you went through it all over it again, as friends, boyfriends, managers, and mentors all came into your life, only to leave again. The only person who had stuck around was your sister, but because she had to.

Jaemin was the first person who ever wanted to be in your life, by choice.

“I should’ve been more clear then. If I had told you I loved you that night, would you have stayed?” He asks, his voice breaking.

“I don’t think anything would’ve stopped me that night,” you say quietly, remembering how quickly you booked a flight to Paris, and leaving one week earlier than you were originally supposed to for your shoot.

“And how about now?”

You look into Jaemin’s eyes and see only a love for yourself, despite everything, just as he said. And in that moment, the heaviness that you had been carrying around in your heart for as long as you can remember finally settles.

“I want to stay.” You admit.

“So what’s stopping you?”

The question that has plagued you forever now rises to your lips, in a bout of vulnerability you never saw for yourself. “Please don’t leave me.”

At that, Jaemin is immediately reaching for you, the touch that you had yearned for finally engulfing you. He gently cups your face, pressing his forehead against yours. “I’m here, aren’t I? And, I always will be. I won’t give up on us.” You nod, and return his touch, tugging on the collar of his jacket to pull him closer. “And if you leave, I’ll come after you, again and again, like I did today. I just needed to know that you want this as much as I do.”

“I love you.”

And then you kiss him like you never have before, like blue water in the forests of love. Because if blue could be happiness, that is all you ever want.

© kisstuals, 2023

[kisstuals]

sun & moon

PAIRING. jung jaehyun x reader WORD COUNT. 2.2k CONTAINS. angst, breakup!au WARNINGS. alcohol consumption, toxic relationship dynamics, insecure reader PLAYLIST. sun & moon - nct 127 | gold rush - taylor swift | restless - bibi NOTE. hiii hope everyone has been well x apologies for being so inactive... but here’s something new! sort of. this is an old fic with a few changes from a prev account but if you remember it. no you don’t. anyway i hope you don’t mind the angst and do keep in mind i don’t condone the actions i’ve written about in this fic. but enjoy xo.

A story about the rise and fall of a relationship that was doomed from the start.

It is college orientation where you first meet Jung Jaehyun, his peachy hair a stark contrast to the dark-clothed bodies swarming the hall. A mere glance at everyone else, and you see their forced smiles and wavering gaze. But Jaehyun, he is vibrant in all that he says and does. His plump lips are forever curved upwards as he talks to some of the freshmen, moving his hands around loudly. It is no surprise that so many people have gathered around him, with simply his presence being so inviting.

He does not notice you that day, and you do not blame him. You stand in the corner of the hall, mindlessly tapping away on your phone and barely participating in the conversation around you. Not that you are invited to the conversation in the first place, considering a small group of friends had just found a spot near you and began chatting, but you don’t have the heart to talk anyway. 

Considering you are a junior and have transferred schools, you feel unbecoming between freshmen, who had seemed to have found their place despite being entirely new to the college scene. With the start of any new year comes a rush of nerves, but you especially feel unable to go around and mingle that day. Perhaps it is Jaehyun, standing so close to you yet being practically unreachable, or perhaps it is the new environment. 

Surprisingly, it bothers you. It is much in your nature to keep to yourself, and that has been sufficient for so long, but in that moment, you wish that you had the courage to approach him as everyone else did. You don’t, of course, choose to remain in the corner and blend into the walls behind you.

So, yes, you do not blame him for not even looking your way. What even was there to look at? He was the blazing sun and you were but a passing comet. 

Surprisingly, he does notice you the second time around. You are at a party, a little drunk and very much fed-up with the crowd. So you find yourself on the balcony, under the inked sky speckled with too many stars to count. The silence is comforting, wrapping around you like a warm blanket, and you appreciate the moment to yourself. 

Jaehyun does not let that moment linger for long as he comes stumbling out of the house and crashing into you, quite literally. 

“Sorry,” he breathes out and you can smell the scent of alcohol on him. 

“It’s alright,” you give him a meek smile. For a moment, his gaze lingers too long, and you wonder if he recognizes you.

But then his eyes flicker away too quickly, and you know he doesn’t. 

“Hey, are you a freshman? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

You chuckle at yourself for thinking he would recognize you. “I don’t think you would have noticed me anyway.”

Jaehyun quirks a brow before shaking his head. “No, I think I would have,” he affirms. You wonder why he is so sure, when he probably won’t even remember you the next day. “What’s your name?”

“(Name),” you say, not expecting him to actually continue the conversation. But he doesn’t, instead urging you to continue. “Actually, I’m a junior but I just transferred here.”

“Ah, that explains it. I’m a junior as well.” He pauses as he moves closer to the railing, leaning comfortably back on his elbows like he was planning to stay. “Were you at orientation, then?”

“No,” the lie slips out of your mouth before you can even catch yourself. “I, uh, missed it.” You’re not quite sure why you are so inclined to lie; perhaps it is the embarrassing ordeal of being perceived by him, or perhaps the desire to forget that day entirely.  

“Oh, okay. Are you enjoying the party?”

This time you choose to be honest. And brutally, at that. “No, it kinda sucks.”

Jaehyun lets out a chuckle, eyes crinkling up with delight. “I’ll have to let my roommate know that he needs to step up his game.” 

You return his sentiment with soft laughter, letting yourself be at ease with him, even if it was for a moment. There is a brief moment of silence and you think that he wants to tell you something. But he decides against it, perhaps sensing your hesitance to talk to him. 

“Well, you should come join us for a game of beer pong then, it’ll be fun.”

“I’ll think about it,” you say, even though you’ve made up your mind. He smiles again, this time rather rushed, before disappearing just like that.

This time he notices you all the way across from your campus quad, calling your name out between the crowds. You only hear his voice at first before he fully comes into your view, jogging over to where you were standing at the entrance of the library.

“Hey,” he says between deep breaths. “You never joined us for beer pong that day.”

Jaehyun’s words take you by surprise, as you had thought his offer was a mere formality. “Yeah, um—”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.” You’re not sure what he understands, for you have not even said anything, but that’s the thing with Jaehyun. You never have to say anything, and he seems to understand. “I’m just glad I saw you again.”

“Oh, why?”

“There’s another party tonight… and, um, I was wondering if you’d like to come.” It is probably the first and last time that you see Jaehyun nervous, and it’s a mystery why you are the reason for it. He searches for the right words to say like he so desperately wants to convince you. “I promise it’ll be fun this time.”

In hindsight, you should have said no. But you were truly doomed from the beginning because if going to that party meant seeing Jaehyun again, there was no way you could refuse. 

“Alright.” 

Jaehyun keeps his promise, not leaving your side that entire night, though you’re unsure why. There are probably crowds of people waiting to meet him, yet he spends his time with you. He holds your hand, introduces you to his friends, and chats your ear off. And surprisingly, you enjoy it. For the first time, being part of the crowd and mingling brings you an immense amount of happiness and you guess that it is all because of Jaehyun.

“You look really pretty tonight.” His hot breath tickles your skin. Jaehyun’s voice is like a soft melody against the loud pop track that booms in the background.

“Thank you,” you whisper back. You have to hold yourself back from telling him he’s beautiful in response. Because he is, with his golden smile and even more golden heart. 

You are just worried you’ll tarnish it.

“I’m glad you came.” Jaehyun beams at you, and you are sure that he’s tipsy.

“Me too,” you say and he almost looks relieved.

“Do you wanna go dance?” And you nod in response, taking his hand as he leads you to the dance floor. He immediately fits in, matching the rhythm of the music and the crowd around him, and you’re hesitant to join him. But he sends you a reassuring smile and tightens his hold on your hand, so you begin to sway your hips along to the song that is playing. 

Jaehyun pulls you closer, asking permission to hold you and when you comply, you feel his arms securing around your waist. He smells of fresh lavender and blueberries, an odd combination, but one that you grow comfortable with. Long fingers splayed across your waist, his touch burns against your own. The night passes with him whispering affections in your ears, lips feverishly grazing your skin.

The damage was done. 

As the months pass, a relationship blossoms between you quite soon after that and it is fascinating how quickly he etches himself into your life and very being. You go on dates, call him routinely, and lean on him for comfort. He gives you the best hugs and texts you goodnight, and when you need it, he always shows up on your doorstep with your favorite takeout.

Jaehyun is gentle with you, and you try to be gentle with him because you think he deserves the world, if not more. He thinks the same for you, but you fail to notice it. 

Instead, your mind is occupied with other matters, negative thoughts blooming like a poisonous flower, and villainizing any semblance of security you had. 

“Who was that?” You ask quietly, not wanting to intrude on his life but you are clearly unable to stop the curiosity from brimming. You don’t want to be that person, constantly nagging about their boyfriend’s whereabouts and acquaintances, but seeing Jaehyun close to one of his friends makes you feel some sort of way. And it’s not good, not at all.

“Ah, just a friend from high school.” His response is brief but cautious of whatever was bubbling in your heart. You don’t ask him anything more, and he does not say anything else, though you are well aware that he knows why you asked. Instead, he pulls you into an embrace, holding your body tightly against his. 

“I think you’re wonderful,” he murmurs, and just with those words, he sets your heart at ease. In place of a response, you lift your head up and press your lips against his own.

You think he is wonderful as well, perhaps too much, and that is why your relationship is doomed.

There comes a time when Jaehyun’s words no longer bring you ease.

Almost a year into your relationship, you find that the worries that once frequented your mind had now completely taken the reign of your heart. Rather than listening to and being honest with the boy you so very much loved, you began picking fights with him. Over things he cannot control and things he does not deserve the blame for, all the same, you find your insecurities becoming something much more dangerous.

“I told you, they are just a friend.” Unfortunately, Jaehyun had to say this more often than he would have liked, exhausting those words to the point where they did not mean anything to you anymore.

“I didn’t even say anything,” you argue, but he shakes his head.

“No, but you meant it. You always become tense and annoyed when you see me with someone else.”

“Are you saying I don’t trust you?”

“Don’t you not?”

And then you realize, that what was for you simply a projection of your own worries, was something else for Jaehyun. 

“I– I don’t mean, it’s just that–”

And like he always does, when he sees you practically unraveling before his own eyes, he brings his arms around you. “It’s fine,” he murmurs, kissing your hair.

But it’s not fine, and you both know that.

You decide to break up with him one week after that. 

There is no doubt that both of you know it’s coming, considering how the week passed with arguments and tears only, so he is not surprised when you approach him with a sad smile.

“I’ve gotta go,” you say softly. Somehow, you are not crying, but you avoid Jaehyun’s gaze just in case. One look at him, and you would probably be in tears.

“Where? Do you have class?” He asks this even though he knows well in his heart what you mean. Perhaps it was his way of holding onto you longer, even if it was just for a moment.

“I’ve gotta go away. From you.” There’s no other way to say it, he knew just as well as you that this relationship could no longer continue. Not with your insecurities and not with how unfair you treated him because of it. 

“Please, (Name)… can’t you stay any longer?”

“I’m sorry,” you say, shaking your head.

“It’s not your fault–”

You cut him off this time, unable to let him suffer because of your mistakes any longer. “No, Jaehyun, it is my fault. It has been this whole time. You’ve been nothing but good to me, and I’ve ruined you.”

He brings his hands to your cheeks, soft against your skin, and moves his lips so close to your own that you could feel his breath mixing with yours. “You say that like I did not willingly give my heart to you.”

“But that does not mean that I can keep hurting you like this.” Jaehyun lets out a sigh, agonizingly slow and painful. And then he steps away, knowing that there is nothing he can do that will change your mind.

He was the boy that everyone loved, but he only loved you. And you loved him back, just as much, maybe even more. But the fact that everyone loved him so much, that he was perfect in every way, that he was the boy of your dreams and everything more, pushed you beyond the extent of the feelings you harbored for him.

So yes, he was the sun but you were, in fact, his moon. Not a passing comet, not a fleeting moment, but someone who deeply meant something to him. The sun and the moon, poles apart, leading separate lives, yet somewhere, incomplete without each other.

© kisstuals, 2023

[kisstuals]

the art of love [m.list]

PAIRINGS. dream 00 line x fem reader CONTAINS. fluff, angst, romance, college!au, art school!au & other various aus WARNINGS. cursing, alcohol consumption, suggestive content, more to be added INSPO. personal experience, the kdrama nevertheless, for the titles & beatopia by beabadoobee  NOTE. check end for extended authors note! while all of these take place in the same universe and are loosely connected, they can be read as standalones! if you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! and i hope u enjoy what is to come <3

The New School of Arts at Neo University has a top ranking, state-of-the-art program for all aspiring artists. With any distinguished college degree comes sleepless nights, copious amounts of coffee and hours spent working, but students Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan find it especially difficult to balance their professional passions with, well, their personal passions. Will they be able to figure out the art of love before they venture out into the real world?

LIKEWISE, 

pairing. sculpture major!jeno x sculpture major!reader contains. fluff, romance, angst, college!au, sculptor!au, classmates!au

Despite having had several classes with Lee Jeno, you never realize how much you have in common with him– that is, until you have to spend your entire semester working on a sculpture piece together for the new exhibit at your school’s gallery.

UNDOUBTEDLY,

pairing. photography major!jaemin x neuroscience major!reader contains. fluff, romance, minor angst, childhood best friends to lovers!au, college au

Everyone thought that you and Jaemin would end up together, but something always seemed to get in the way. After years of missed opportunities (and both of you being complete dumbasses), Jaemin realizes how undeniable your presence is in his life, all thanks to his photography final.

NEVERTHELESS,

pairing. theater major!haechan x journalism major!reader x painting major!renjun contains. fluff, romance, angst, college!au, theater!au, enemies to lovers!au or friends to lovers!au

On one hand you have the loud and annoying (yet, unfortunately attractive) Haechan, the lead of the play you are covering for your article. And, on the other hand you have his kind and approachable (yet, emotionally unavailable) best friend, Renjun, who volunteers with the set design crew in his free time. Perhaps… this was much more than you signed up for.

LEELA’S NOTE. hi omg welcome to kisstuals, this is the first thing i am planning on posting here :) honestly i was scared to start with a series because it's a lot of pressure but i am way too excited not to. this is pure escapism for me because i am an art student and i am planning on projecting all my thoughts and desires onto these fics lol. that being said, a lot of this is based on my personal experiences in art school but obviously there are other parts where i have to fill in on my own. i haven’t started writing any of these but please let me know if you’re looking forward to this so i can motivate myself to write! i also have a bonus piece planned already if i can get through these initial ones!!! also some of these are from dream’s pov, others are from reader’s pov, it’s just whatever is convenient for the storyline. but pls pls lmk ur thoughts and keep ur eyes peeled for some teaser content!!! xoxo, leela

© kisstuals, 2022

[kisstuals]

7pm. donghyuck x gn!reader wc 658 | fluff, strangers2lovers | mentions of alcohol

You are beginning to think that 7pm on a Thursday might be your favorite part of the week. Maybe it’s because that is when the sun begins to set, making the sky look like it's been painted. Maybe it’s because your strawberry yogurt tastes especially sweet during that hour. Or, maybe it is because there’s a cute boy that always walks in the convenience store you work at every Thursday, at 7pm. 

He looks especially beautiful today, with his hair freshly dyed black and eyeliner smudged around his eyes. As always, his guitar is strapped behind his back, hitting some of the shelves as he makes his way to the aisle with ramen. That’s where he always goes– to the ramen section, before getting some ice cream and then heading to the checkout, where you are at the register.

You aren’t a stalker, you swear, but he’s kept to this routine for the past three months, so that’s given you a lot of time to observe him. He dyes his hair a new color almost every other week. He always has his guitar, and almost always is sucking on what you assume is a cherry lollipop. Usually, he comes alone, though sometimes his friends (who you think might be his bandmates) will also join him. Occasionally, he will also come in another time during the week, but he has yet to have not shown up at 7pm on a Thursday.

Thank god for that, because his visits seem to have become the highlight of the week. He doesn’t do much, besides go about his day, but he will usually give you the sweetest smile when he approaches you at the register and asks you about your day. He’s making small talk, you know, but when you have a crush on someone, even the smallest things warm your heart. Perhaps one day, with a little alcohol in your system, you will take it to the next level, and approach him first. Ask him his name, and offer to buy him a drink. 

Alas, that day is not today, as you’d like to keep the peace and quiet of your Thursday evening. Plus, you plan to work here for a long time, and if confessing were to make things awkward, you weren’t sure how to inconspicuously ask your manager to let you change your schedule. So, you tap your fingernails on the counter next to the register, waiting for him to make his way to the register. 

“Hey.” A soft voice draws your attention away from the flyers on the window that you were distracting yourself with. 

“Hey.” You can’t help the smile that forms on your face as he appears, knowing all too well that your cheeks are warming up due to the fact that you had spent the last ten minutes thinking about him. One awkward shuffle later, you manage to grab the items he had put down and scan them without embarrassing yourself too much. Until the next time he opens his mouth, that is.

“You’re really cute.”

“Huh?” Your fingers falter on the keypad as you ring up his final price. He remains silent and just chuckles instead, inserting his card in the reader after the total shows up on the screen. You, on the other hand, are playing a game of hide-and-seek with his gaze, wondering if you heard him wrong.

“I said, you’re really cute.” As you gather his belongings into a bag, you feel his eyes on you.

“Oh, um, thanks,” you mumble, handing the bag to him. 

He smiles. You smile back.

“I’m Haechan, by the way.” He says, walking backward to the exit– you both can’t seem to break eye contact. “I’ll see you again next Thursday then?” You nod, a little too excitedly, and he just chuckles again before leaving the store.

You are most definitely sure that 7pm on a Thursday is your favorite part of the week. 

© kisstuals, 2022

[kisstuals]

au revoir. jisung x gn!reader wc 1.2k | fluff, bff2l | no warnings

“So… you’ll come visit me, right?” Jisung finally breaks the silence, his soft voice speaking from beside you. 

You stare at the gravel underneath your battered sneakers, moving your feet to kick a few pebbles. The pavement feels hot underneath your body, as you're seated with your best friend of five years on the sidewalk, waiting for his cab to arrive and take him away.

You want to say yes, you really do, but frankly you are not sure if you’ll be able to. Seeing Jisung move away is difficult as it is, but your sadness has been exacerbated by the unexpected and unwelcome realization that you’re hopelessly in love with him.

Only recently have you come to terms with it, thanks to the help of numerous coffees and reassuring promises to call from Jisung. Your adoration for him has been safely and soundly tucked away, something you do not want to uncover any time soon. So while meeting him in his new city would be wonderful, you don’t doubt that, having to say goodbye all over would only make all those feelings come rushing back.

Jisung’s expectant smile tugs at your heart and you cannot avoid his glance any longer. Yet, his smile is not enough for you to let a lie slip between your lips. “I- I don’t know.”

Just as his smile falls from his face, the evening sky morphs into darkness, pricking your skin with the cool breeze. “(Name)… please.” For your own sake, you pretend as if you do not hear his voice break. “I just- I just want to know that I’ll be able to see you again.”

“Your cab is here,” you tell him, seeing a vehicle pull into your street. He doesn’t budge, poking your arm once, twice, and thrice before you finally look at him again. 

“Can you at least think about it?” You know he only means well and that he wouldn’t force you to meet him, but you realize that just like you, he is holding onto this friendship as best as he can. Only his way of dealing with it is facing it head on, while you simply want to run away. 

“I will,” you assure him, your eyes locking with his own as you feel bumps forming on your forearms. His gaze would always have that effect on you.

The cab finally parks in front of his house, where you and him slowly stand up. He grabs his suitcases, ready to leave, but turns back to you one last time. “(Name),” your name drops from his lips like a sweet melody. “You’re my best fri- you’re really special to me. I’m going to miss you, a lot.” 

You smile back at him, unable to form a proper goodbye yourself, choosing to wave at him instead as he gets into the cab. You could not put into words how much you’d miss him as well, your best fri—

He hesitated from calling you his friend.

Pondering over Jisung’s choice of words, you quickly drop your hand. You have a tendency to overthink, perhaps an unhealthy amount, but as you watch Jisung’s cab disappear from your line of vision, you wonder if you also mean something more to him. 

But it is too late now, he is gone and even if you manage to let him know, leaving is inevitable. You could never ask him to stay anyway, especially not for you. At least, that is what the more rational part of your brain says.

Elsewhere, the inner workings of your mind are doing wonders to convince you that going after him was the best thing you could do. That you have nothing to lose at this point, and that you should at least let him now.

So, before you can rationalize any further, you reach for your phone and quickly tap on Jisung’s contact. 

He answers within a second. “Hey, is everything okay?” 

Well, no, nothing is okay, but you cannot really tell him that. Maybe you should have actually thought about what you would say before calling him. Then at least you would be freezing up, racking your brain for an appropriate way to confess your feelings for him.

“Um, well yeah, but…” Gosh, you sound unbelievably stupid when you’re nervous.

“(Name)?” Jisung chuckles, but you can hear the concern lacing his voice.

“You, um left something behind.” 

“What? What did I leave behind? I thought I grabbed everything…” He murmurs, and you can almost imagine him scratching his head while looking around. 

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it—

“... my heart?” And you said it. You had managed to sound even more stupid, if possible. Regret washes over you as you wince at your own words, dreading Jisung’s reply. If he had any feelings for you earlier, they must be gone after that.

“No, don’t worry, I have it.” He pauses, before lowering his voice. “But I left mine behind for you.” You let out an embarrassingly audible gasp, wondering if you heard him wrong, if he actually reciprocated your confession. 

“What?”

“What?” He repeats your words before you hear the line go completely blank, leaving you in pure confusion. You ignore how your hands are shaking as you wait in complete silence under the twilight sky, hoping that Jisung will call you back or at least text you.

He doesn’t do either. Instead, you look up to find his cab pulling back into the street. The door swings open, revealing a red-faced, huffing and puffing Jisung with the brightest smile on his face. His hair is a disheveled mess, wondering what you put him through in the three minutes you had been apart.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you gonna be late for your flight—”

“Can I kiss you?” He says between breaths, eyes not leaving your lips for even a second.

You get over your shock fairly quickly, knowing that if you did not take up his offer now, perhaps you’d never get a second chance. Here he was, the love of your life and your best friend, standing in front of you to ask you the question that had been lingering in your mind for weeks now.

“Yes, please.” And without skipping a beat, his lips find your own. His palms are pressed firmly against the back of your neck, as if you might slip away, and you can’t help but melt into his touch. 

You unknowingly smile into the kiss, and you feel Jisung doing the same. “Gosh, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for quite a while now,” you say against his lips, before pulling him into another quick kiss.

“Me too,” he reveals as he wraps his arms around you in a hug.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner, you idiot?” You whine into his sweater. “I can’t believe you’re going to leave me now after kissing me like that.”

“Well, why didn’t you?” He counters amusedly, before changing his tone to match yours. “I can’t believe you’re going to let me go after kissing me like that.” Jisung laughs as you pinch him in the waist, tightening his grip around you as you continue to whine. Now that you are in his arms, he is sure that he will never let anything separate you.

Except, the honking of the cab of course. You had almost forgotten about the poor driver who was probably tired of waiting around for him. Jisung looks at the cab, before glancing back at you with a sad smile. 

“Go on.” Jisung nods at your words, kissing you one last time before getting into the cab. “I’ll be right here, waiting for you.”

© kisstuals, 2022