#lest atem curse him again....

[kisaraslover]

bro was so down bad a new type of mental torment got invented cuz of him. kaibas dick put to magically induced coma for 2 weeks rip bro....

anyway you should vote for me in the Ongoing Poll

[teaandwitchery]

It had been several years now since Ryou had dueled, which his ranking had reflected as time slipped by. Although it had been an even longer time since he had considered himself a professional duelist back in England, he found his attention being drawn back to the game lately.

This of course concerned the spirit of the ring, who was now separate from his host. Fully resurrected through some ridiculous miracle Pharaoh Atem had been granted which by unfortunate association affected himself as well. And so the nightmare of his existence continued. Of course it did.

And now Ryou was interested in Duel Monsters again, eyeing an upcoming tournament after having been seriously considering registering for the past few days since Kaiba’s latest commercial announced his new tournament.

Bakura-- he’d recovered his own missing memories such as his original name yet opted to continue using his host’s surname instead; after all, why not steal it when he was well known for theft? He’d already taken everything else from this boy over the years-- had never wanted to be involved in another duel after all that had happened in Egypt and in Japan, and he was rightfully aggravated that Ryou wanted to.

“You almost died last time!” he snapped. Violet eyes narrowed, and Bakura asked, “What makes you think something WOULDN’T go WRONG?”

Ryou suppressed a smile. This anger at the prospect of his involvement in a card game… evidenced Bakura cared for him, and this was entirely satisfying. He craved any suggestion that his man could love him. He answered gently, “Nisut Atemu will be there. There haven’t been any more shadow games, but… if something were to happen, I trust him to take care of it.” Ryou looked back to his computer screen, finished the form, and submitted for the tournament. “I’m going. I miss playing.” he remarked then glanced back to Bakura in time to catch the pained jealousy in his gaze. He hated that Ryou was willing to leave his life in Atem’s hands if needed. 

Ryou mused, “I didn’t even get to enjoy Battle City. And I don’t remember um, what was it? What was the other one called? Magic Kingdom? I think it was on an island… Or a lake… There was water. Maybe.”

“Duelist Kingdom.” Bakura mumbled, fresh guilt surging through him for all he’d done to this boy.

Ryou asked curiously, “Did I even start that duel? I’m fairly certain it was with Yugi. Or was it all you? I’ve lived in fragmented dreams for so long. Perhaps I did start that duel before you actively possessed me, I can’t quite recall.”

“I don’t fucking know.” Bakura answered lowly. He didn’t care. He simply wanted that chaos to stay in the past. Why did Ryou need to bring it back into their lives? Their situation had improved so well over the past few months since his and Atem’s return from the Duat… all things considered. There was unfortunately Ryou’s withdrawal from his friends in favor of staying with the thief king. 

Ah, that must be it then. Ryou wanted to duel in an attempt to reconnect with Yugi, Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu. Why, Bakura couldn’t fathom, obnoxious as they all were but Yugi. Yugi he could understand why Ryou favored. They were quite similar, although Ryou had always been jealous of him.

Although the active possession had not been entirely constant, Bakura had still been aware of Ryou’s interactions at all times, even when the level of focus varied depending on his energy levels and moods. He was perfectly aware of all the feelings that haunted Ryou. The fear he had felt for his friends. The loss and guilt he had experienced when friends from junior high in England had lost their Monster World shadow games. It of course had only gotten worse after that once Bakura had crossed paths with Atem’s host. Ah, Ryou had found such camaraderie in Yugi! He didn’t think he was insane when trying to talk about his experiences with the possession and the shadow games! 

But then the sadness became heavier when he understood how deep and beautiful Yugi and Atem’s bond was. Atem loved him… while Ryou was stuck with a demonic entity who would manipulate him in any way that pleased him and furthered his opportunities for vengeance. It wasn’t fair to have this profound destiny… meant to be the one to host this ancient spirit… only for that spirit to be cruel and reckless.  

“I really like the occult deck we used.” Ryou told him, crossing the room to open a card binder. “I think I’ll change out some of the spells and update it for compatibility with phantom synchro summoning.”

“Synchro what?” Bakura’s anger had mostly subsided. He didn’t entirely want to keep Ryou from his friends… He shouldn’t want to at all as he strived toward being better for him, but there persisted a disdain toward all of the others, even if Ryou did owe Atem his life.

“It’s a way of synchro summoning from the graveyard instead of the extra deck.” Ryou explained, slipping cards out of the pages and setting them aside. His phone illuminated with a notification. “Oh dear, I’m running late!” he exclaimed after a glance to the time. “Would you please make me some tea?” 

Bakura sighed but nonetheless abandoned the bed. “What kind?”

“Any at all, do surprise me!” Ryou smiled, wrapping him in a loving hug before he went to prepare for his work day.

Ryou’s tea collection was immense. Bakura randomly selected a black tea blend after putting the water on. As he waited on it to boil, he crossed his arms over a table and lowered his head, dreading that wretched card game. Not only was the danger apparent to him… but he also would have to subject himself toward Yugi and Company’s stares. If it were only himself, he wouldn’t care what anyone felt or said about him, but Ryou would be hurt by the judgment too. He already had been. They would both be better off in several ways if he kept Ryou from them. And yet… Ryou had already been through so much. He deserved friends.

“There is… something you should know about Ryou I’m not certain you’re aware of.” Atem had told Bakura once he had the chance to approach him alone. A foolish mistake, Atem must have been aware, but the thief king was as exhausted as he was.

“WHAT?” Bakura replied, forcing himself not to ask how dare you speak to me?

Atem stood his ground, determined to deliver the information that would change everything Bakura had ever felt about his host. “He managed to strike a deal… with Zorc… behind your back. That… If you were to fail… He would take your place. He would be bound to the Millennium Ring, and you would be released.”

Bakura’s newly beating heart raced from the revelation. “What? Why would he do that? Why would he do that?! Something that ridiculous? He…” He knew what that curse entailed… forever. So why… Why would he possibly… For ME?

But Atem didn’t have an answer. Not a reasonable one, at least. Who would love a man who had so thoroughly devastated their life and would never give a damn? 

Ryou kept the scar on his arm covered in public, but at home it was a constant reminder to Bakura of the suffering he had inflicted, just as his hand too bore the remnants of the time he impaled Ryou’s hand during a shadow game. Bakura’s eyes fell to the scarred hand when Ryou came to retrieve his tea from him.

“Thank you! You’re the best.” Ryou smiled.

He really wasn’t though. Silently he drank his own tea as he watched Ryou add cream to his, until Bakura broke the silence. “You haven’t told me why you risked everything. For… me. If Atem hadn’t…”

“Oh. Oh, he told you?” Ryou clipped his hair up and pulled his shoes on. “It’s what I was meant to do. I’m the only one who could wield the Ring, right? Anyone else who made the attempt died immediately? It was my destiny to help you. A parallel to Yugi helping Atem.”

“That’s no reason to help someone who would have murdered you, all of your friends, and meant to destroy the world as well. It was your choice. Ultimately your foolish bargain didn’t influence anything, but it was your choice. It was your idea. Why?”

“I love you.” 

Ryou’s response further irritated him. He repeated himself, “WHY?”

“Loving you is my choice too.” Ryou lowered himself onto Bakura’s lap, and the proximity seemed to calm him.

“You’re really weird.” he told Ryou.

“I know.” Ryou embraced him and sighed in delight as Bakura lifted his hands to his shoulder blades, pressing him closer.

For the duration of the time between Zorc’s destruction and Bakura’s resurrection, Ryou had been alone for the first in a very long time. As long as he could remember, the spirit’s presence had remained an inescapable part of his mind. He had spent years wishing for freedom only to find the isolation was entirely maddening. The emptiness was worse than anything Bakura could have done to him. 

Ryou considered himself a skilled necromancer, but no amount of incense or prayers or tears or blood offerings helped him to reach the spirit in those endless, awful nights spent begging for him. He was all Ryou had known; this made being without him the greatest misery… and the one he could not discuss with Yugi, lest he be shamed.

But Marik… Marik he could tell. He never even minded Ryou’s 3 a.m. calls spent sobbing into a glass of wine and confessing his despair.

“I want him back! I can’t live like this!” he’d wept, wondering if this same emptiness was felt by anyone who hadn’t spent their life in a state of possession.

Marik feared for him. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Okay?” He ended the call, and as he left his apartment, he prayed Ryou wouldn’t think to join Bakura in death instead.

He found Ryou sitting on the floor under his altar table, tarot cards strewn over a blood stained ouija board. A rug was scorched from when a candle had fallen over. Incense smoke curled through the air, and wet eyes looked his way. Marik knelt to help Ryou up and over onto his bed where he lay with him, stroking white hair as Ryou held onto him.

“I’m a worthless spirit worker.” Ryou muttered into Marik’s shoulder.

“No. No, that isn’t it. That isn’t it at all.” Marik’s suspicion of why none of his efforts succeeded in summoning him was far worse.

Thoughts returning to the present, Ryou lifted his face away from Bakura’s neck to grace him with a gentle smile as he said, “I’m grateful you’re okay and you’re here.” He knew Bakura didn’t want to be.

Bakura’s chest tightened with… emotion. He knew Ryou wanted to hear something nice in return… but his feelings were complicated. He’d been so angry with Atem to be back, and although the situation was better as he made a life for himself with Ryou… He was weary. He had been trapped in this world longer than anyone except Atem could imagine, which certainly was a reason Ryou’s little scheme regarding Zorc had touched his heart when nothing else could. There was no way he could understand, and yet… he was willing to suffer… for him.

His strangeness and his strength shouldn’t be overlooked because of his softness, but Ryou was pure. Selfless. He deserved more than… this. Better than… me.

Ryou brushed his lips delicately across the Egyptian’s. “I might have been the landlord, but you are my home.”

There were no words for how this all made Bakura feel. There was great sorrow interwoven with shame and discomfort as well as with desire and awe. 

Ryou brought a hand to Bakura’s face, looking over the scarring under his eye. He stroked his thumb over it then pressed his next kiss to it. “I like this. Does it hurt?” he inquired.

“No.” Netjer, this boy was odd.

“Marik’s back hurts often. So I wondered.” Ryou said before he kissed his lips again, more boldly. “I told him he should go to a doctor, but he’s quite afraid of them. He says weed helps. Did you ever smoke in Egypt? I--”

Bakura silenced him with a firm, soul consuming kiss that ignited Ryou’s heart and brought tears to his eyes. The hand at Bakura’s cheek slipped into his hair, and Ryou opened his mouth to him, clinging closer as his tears fell onto Bakura’s beautiful skin. 

Bakura pressed his tongue past his teeth, eyes closing. Everything about this was divine… and he couldn’t help but to notice how right it felt. Everything that had ever happened to him had served the purpose to allow him this moment. In an instant everything had changed. He smiled against Ryou’s lips. The serenity was a relief he had craved yet had been without for so long he had forgotten what peace could possibly feel like.

“It wasn’t by accident you’re here. Or by whatever technicality of the millennium items you attribute it to through Nisut Atem.” Marik had told him in their first encounter following the resurrection. “The Netjeru have always known your purpose. Whether or not you place any faith in Them... You are loved. And you are a reflection of the divine. They have a plan for you.”

He’d never felt so insulted or infuriated, and he hadn’t spoken to Marik since. Love? If any god loved him, why was he ever in his wretched predicament in the first place? If any god loved him, why had his family been slaughtered? How did any of it evidence Netjer cared at all when suffering thrived throughout the world for thousands of years?  

But now he had this precious boy in his arms. As Ryou eagerly worked his lips against his, Bakura’s tongue stroked over his hungrily.

Bakura reached for Ryou’s phone on the table.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting you in sick to work.”

Ryou giggled at this but took his phone back. “No, I need to go.” Another kiss and he rose from his lap, dropping his phone into his backpack. “Senebty.”

The sunshine this lately morose boy radiated surprised the library staff, but no one questioned it as Ryou went to load onto a cart the books which needed to be shelved. Glancing to the schedule on his way to put the books away, he was pleased to find he would be working the next circulation desk shift with Akali. 

He loved the library, but he was working on plans to open a combination occult and tea shop. Magic and tea were his favorite things!

Book shelving was relaxing. He didn’t know why most staff hated this. It was easy and fun. It only became tedious when too-full shelves needed rearranging to make space.

As he alphabetized, he thought of the discovery last week Bakura had been defensive about. Marik, frustrated with Bakura’s avoidance, had went about texting him using a custom keyboard he had invented for typing in hieroglyphs. It was faster for Marik than transcribing Egyptian into a Latin alphabet, and it just made sense this way since Bakura did not know any Arabic, and Marik hadn’t been in the mood for Japanese. Japanese took more effort. (Atem had been delighted to install the hieroglyphic keyboard.) 

The problem was the vast majority of Egyptians had been illiterate, and this included the thief king. He had no issues with English or Japanese due to living through Ryou for many years, but it was still annoying that anyone expected him to be able to write or read hieroglyphic text.

“You could download Duo Lingo and start learning Arabic with me and Atem.” Ryou had suggested.

“Marik’s Japanese is fine!” Bakura had shouted. “If I wanted to communicate with him, Japanese would be fine! Why is it my fault if that bitch doesn’t feel like texting in Japanese? Fuck him!” Why the hell did he need Arabic? He would be perfectly happy to never set foot in the fucking desert again! 

By the time he finished shelving, then worked in the donation room sorting books, it was time to return to the circulation desk and greet Akali. 

“Hello!” he exclaimed cheerily. He waved to her and stepped to one of the computers, bringing up the tournament page on the Kaiba Corporation website. “I signed up for this, and… I thought you might like to join me?” he asked hopefully. If none of his other friends would talk to him… it would be much better if someone was there who would. Someone unaware of his drama. “I haven’t played an official game in a while, but I’ve been practicing on Duel Links… I used to be quite good in junior high, maybe I can get back into it...”

@yugioh-dsxpl