#let trans people define their own relation with gendered terms ffs

[littletissueghosts]

Transmasc Person: "I am a straight guy, since I am a guy who loves women."

Toxic Queer People™: "Ew, straight guys are all predators, since only non-queer people are straight! Anyways, discrimination against straight men isn't real, even when they're a minority."

Transmasc Person: "Okay, I am a lesbian, since even if I'm not a woman, I still have a connection to womanhood."

Toxic Queer People™: "Lesbian is woman-only! If you are in any way a man or not a woman, you are not a lesbian! Transmascs can never be lesbians or have a connection to womanhood/a lack of manhood! Stop invading the lesbian community!"

I dare you to make it make sense.

[asonginthekeyofe]

long rambly post under the cut idk how to articulate anything at 6am

So there's an interesting thing I keep noticing with terfs vs trans inclusionary feminists (Im sure there's a term for that but again it’s 6am) where I think, and I shudder as I type this, the terfs have a good point (yikes @ me but bear with me here)... I see a lot of people jumping on posts and women online who say that their body defines their womanhood (ie their vagina, their period, their breasts, childbearing, motherhood, etc). A lot of these women don't  say that they think biology defines all womanhood, just that it defines their own personal relationship with their womanhood. That's fucking fine. My body defines a lot of my relationship with my gender (which is very complicated) and does in many ways define my understanding of my (nonbinary) womanhood. To tell a woman she can't say that about her own body and gender because "it's transphobic" seems pretty shitty to me. And terfs like to harp on that, like "they say we can't talk about our womanhood or our bodies without excluding them!!" and no, you're excluding transwomen with all the other shit you're saying about how they're "not real women" but it is true that people yell at them all the time for saying that. People yell at other people who aren't terfs for that and call them terfs just because they say something about their vagina. Like jeez we gotta try and get back to the "you define your own gender however is most comfortable for you" thing, and try to get away from this whole "stop making statements about yourself because it excludes me (from your personal relationship with your gender)." it's hypocritical. And dumb. Let people relate to their gender however they need to. My gender doesn't need to include you. It's for me and me alone to decide how I feel and who I am. I can explore it and articulate it and present it however I need to. The whole point is letting people self identify. If we don't let cis people do that too how do we expect them to let us do it? Let cis women express their womanhood ffs. And yeah when someone says "the only way to be a woman is to menstruate" you can say “nah ur wrong, womanhood is a diverse and noncohesive experience,” but like please be kind and gentle with it. The angrier we are and the crueler our responses, the less likely we are to be listened to and understood. Crying terf at every cis woman who says vagina devalues the weight of the term, the same as calling every republican a nazi.