#lets go have three breakdowns in a row in three different towers before we go have an even bigger meltdown in an even bigger tower

[clair-de-lunar-tears]

doing the adorable ‘make the children a slide’ quest as A2 knowing that soon I have to swap to 9S and he’ll be like, eating his own leg or something smh

[konigsfaerie]

Compass

Chapter One

Summary: Falling in love with two people isn't normal, but after fighting your way out of the TVA, you can't help but develop feelings for both Loki and Mobius. Hiding your emotions has never been your strong suit, and your resolve has been fading with each passing day you spend together at the compound.

Word count: 4,630

Loki looked across the common room to find Mobius rifling through papers, undoubtedly studying another timeline that would need to be fixed. Loki watched his hands turn the crisp pages, watched his index finger travel down to find a specific word.

He decided to break his gaze and clear his throat, shaking himself out of his daze. “Don’t you think we should take a break? We’ve been at this all day.”

Mobius looked up from the folder and raised a single eyebrow. “You mean I have been at this all day. You’ve been sitting there looking pretty while I have been isolating timelines we need to fix without so much as a lunch break.”

If not for his Frost Giant heritage, the blush on his face would be unmistakable. Suddenly words left him, so he decided to stare out of a window, his dark thoughts immediately returning.

He left who he used to be back in New York. The jealous god, the god who was angry at everything and couldn’t love anything simply out of fear. It seemed that all of the sudden there was too much love in his heart, the kind that made him feel the most guilty he had been in a long while.

Loki, Mobius, and you fighting through the TVA was no small feat, and even now there was no time to rest.

“Although I suppose we should check on y/n. She’s been cooped up in her office all day,” Mobius observed, pushing away from the desk and stretching his arms up. Loki noticed his torso as he stretched, the fabric revealing the slight V of his waist. There was that nonexistent blush again, the panging he felt in his chest.

“I’ll get her some food from the kitchen.” As Loki left for the kitchen, it was now your features that plagued his mind. Your soft skin, supple thighs, full cheeks, y/e/c. How could this be possible, to love two people at the same time? Just years before he would have destroyed an entire planet without thinking, and now every action he made, he’d run it over in his head before doing so just to make sure he didn’t say something wrong that could hurt yours or Mobius’ feelings. Although Mobius wasn’t exactly the most sensitive of the bunch, Loki cringed when he thought of all the terrible things he said to both you and Mobius when he first arrived at the TVA.

There were cooks of course, The Avengers Tower was huge with so many people coming in and out, but he wanted to make you food by his hand.

-

Your feelings for Mobius and Loki were… complicated at best. The passion you felt for Loki made your head dizzy, but the tender love you felt for Mobius made your heart ache. You ran a hand down your face, the guilt gathering up in the pit of your stomach again. How was this even possible? You loved them both, and while they probably didn’t even have a clue, you couldn’t imagine letting either one of them go. And if you lost both of them...

You heard a knock at your door, and you tried steeling your face into indifference again, but ultimately failed. “Come in!” Instead of indifference, you tried to look as happy as can be, providing a smile as bright as the stars.

As soon as you saw both of them come in at the same time, your face immediately fell. You tried to look away from their faces, your eyes pointing downward, pretending to do something you were working on before you were about to have a breakdown. You couldn’t actually be in control of your emotions when Mobius started acting all gentle and kind and Loki started a war of who could use the most sarcasm in one sentence. (Hint: He always won.)

“Is there something the two of you needed?”

Loki sat down in the chair in front of your desk, placing a covered dish in front of you, planting his feet on your desk, which he knew you absolutely hated.

“We can’t visit our favorite girl unannounced?” Mobius spoke, giving that little grin of his.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Favorite girl. Were you really… their favorite girl?

His excited smile faded. “Unless you’re busy… I don’t want to interrupt you.”

You slid a hand to Loki’s boots, roughly slapping his feet off the table and uncovering the dish. “No, I- Well, I guess I haven’t eaten all day.” Part of your job to create a new task force of Avengers to fix the timelines destroyed accompanied by Doctor Stephen Strange. He usually was in your office with you going over the candidates you thought would make a good addition to the team, but he was currently out convincing them to come back to the compound.

“Sorry. I should’ve brought food up to you a long time ago.”

Loki eyed you as you took your first bite into what had to be your favorite meal of all time. You started to shake your head at his comments, but instead you closed your eyes for a moment, letting a moan sneak past your lips. “This is so good! It tastes much better than what the cooks usually make for us. Who made this?” Usually it was all leafy green salads and juice the color of baby puke (doctor’s orders, and by doctor, you mean an overprotective philanthropist), but thank the gods, it was something actually cooked in oil.

“Loki cooked it for you,” Mobius said with a teasing smirk, but then his lips went into a pout. “While I eat this salad for the twentieth night in a row.”

A blush crept up on your nose and you giggled. “Guess I’m just that special.”

“Yes,” Loki remarked. “You are.” His eyes burned into your own.

The blush deepened into a shade of ruby red. Loki was always one for bluntness and didn’t always understand how humans communicated with each other. Yes, that was all it was. Just him reminding you how much he cared for you as a friend. The sentiment was new to him, after all.

You filled your face with more food, your eyes staring down so that you didn’t have to meet either of their pair of eyes. After finishing your food, you heard a bottle of alcohol thud on your desk. You laughed and gave a little shake of your head. “Don’t you know that the use of alcohol or other substances will hinder our training?” You mocked Tony, his strictness fueled by FRIDAY.

“Well,” Loki laughed. “I am not in training,” he continued, popping the cork off with his mouth. “Because I am already amazing.” He put the bottle to his lips and took two long swigs.

Both you and Mobius groaned, Mobius grabbing the neck of the bottle from him and doing the same. As he passed it to you, you thought that maybe this was a bad idea. You never really got too drunk unless you were “reveling” with Thor, but you were constantly afraid your feelings might slip out. One wrong look, and they might figure it out.

Mobius passed it to you, and you downed four long gulps. Maybe the alcohol would make you momentarily forget your feelings instead of bringing them to the surface. Immediately your head felt lighter as you passed it back to Loki, but instead of the smiles that were there before, two worried glances were presented on their faces.

Loki put the bottle down. “What’s wrong?” The concerned look on both of their faces made your heart thud in your chest. They really, actually cared about you. About what you thought, what you felt, if you ate, if there was too much on your plate. That was more than just being friends, right? When you were with them, you felt different. Lighter, safe, like nothing could really hurt you as long as you three were together.

“Nothing,” you defended, taking another bite of your food as the buzz you had started to ebb and flow. Trying to keep the tears springing from your eyes was no small task, but you couldn’t do this now, in front of them. You hated lying to them and you didn’t even know what excuse you could possibly make if tears started running down your cheeks.

But the truth was that you cried often. Late at night after hours of exhausting work, not only isolating timelines but trying to convince people with abilities to help your cause, usually wielding little to no results. After all that tiresome work, it wasn’t the universe or your collective impending doom you thought about; it was Mobius and Loki. How they take care of you, how it might feel to have Mobius’ lips on yours while Loki wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses your neck...

How long have you been looking at your empty plate without saying anything?

“Y/n? Sweetheart?” Mobius started, reaching for your hand across the desk which made Loki look at the pair of yours. Why did he call you that so often? Ever since coming to the TVA, even when it looked like he wanted to scream at Loki until he was hoarse, even when you joined forces with Loki and he couldn’t understand why in the world you would, he wanted to protect you. Both of them did.

It felt like your heart was just continually skipping beats. It was absolutely insane that one word was the thing that was finally going to undo you.

Sweetheart.

Our favorite girl.

Your eyes went back and forth between the two of their faces, your lip starting to wobble. Loki immediately got up from his chair in front of you, moving towards you and crouching down to your eye level. “What is it? What’s the matter, y/n?” His concerned blue eyes searched yours, his eyebrows knitting together in worry.

Mobius was hovering over you at your desk with that same look, waiting for your response.

There were lies you could tell, of course. I’m just tired. I miss my family. I want to piece this god-forsaken universe back together already. It was all true of course, but the real reason you lay awake at night with tears streaming down your face was because you were in love with the both of them and if you did anything about it, you’d lose them. And your heart could absolutely not handle that. They were everything to you.

You could only imagine it, which you did often. Their confused looks which would make you feel like the weirdest person on the planet, the neverending silence as they only talked to you about work. How could you possibly handle them not barging in on your space every night, not making you feel like the luckiest girl on the planet just to have friends like these?

Nevertheless, the tears came and the sobs started racking your body as they both came to your rescue, enveloping you in their arms, which only made you cry harder.

“Y/n-” Mobius started, but was cut short because of… that look you were giving him. The one that said everything, the one that also traveled to Loki. It was unmistakable. With them, you were an open book and your face were the words on the page.

Loki pulled away, but only to put a hand on your waist. Was he… giving you the same look? When you looked back over to Mobius, his hand was at your waist as well, his hand flying up to dry your tears. “Sweetheart,” he breathed.

As soon as your eyes fluttered, Mobius’ mouth was on yours, giving you the most tender kiss you had ever felt. His lips slightly pulled away as Loki’s finger hooked under your chin and his lips flew to yours. Back and forth you played this little game until your knees were threatening to buckle underneath your feet, both of them slightly rubbing your waist.

As you pulled back slightly, their lips finally pressed against each other. The kiss between them was more rough but just as loving.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. No, there was no way they felt the same things you did. Ever since spending time with the both of them in the TVA, the thoughts that plagued your mind were perhaps the darkest you ever felt. Not just because you knew without a shadow of a doubt whatever conclusion you came to you would get hurt, but because you might hurt them in any way. The love you felt for them didn’t seem natural, but it definitely felt it. But this…. They felt it too? Not only that, but they felt things for each other as well? For how long?

Suddenly you didn’t want to be cooped up in this office anymore so you grabbed both of their hands, locking their fingers with yours and started moving to the stairs that led to your room. As soon as you closed the door, Mobius was pushing you against it while Loki ran a finger down the length of your arm.

You didn’t need to say anything for now. Your faces said so much. Words might be necessary later, but now…

Loki nudged him over while his lips explored yours again and Mobius kissed your neck. A moan escaped your lips again, but this one wasn’t because of the pleasure of food, rather the pleasure of the two men controlling your every movement. Mobius’ hands were still pinning you to the door, and you couldn’t help it as your waist moved against Loki’s.

“Please,” you breathed. “I n-need-” God, it was hard for you to talk with Loki’s lips hovering over yours, the heat rising in you as you imagined all the marks Mobius was making on your neck, claiming you as his.

“What do you need, darling?” Loki whispered, moving to the other side of your neck. Mobius shoved his leg in between yours, your hips making quick work of him.

Apparently that was all the answer they needed. Mobius grabbed your waist, moving you to your bed as they both joined you and started on your neck again while Loki began slowly untying your top, testing to see if you were comfortable.

Usually you were shy around them, but you had enough of just fantasizing about them doing this. You would be perfectly happy if they decided to rip your clothes off and spread your legs.

“I’m tired of waiting,” Mobius snapped as if reading your mind, shoving your pants down as Loki threw your top onto the floor. They both beheld you in your matching lacy white bra and panties. They looked… hungry. Like they’d both been waiting for this, only now they realized all three of you wanted it just as much.

You swallowed as they stared into each other's eyes just a moment before taking each other’s shirts off. Even though you needed them to rip off all your underthings, you were nervous. They definitely had more experience than you, and Loki was a literal god who could get whatever or whomever he wanted.

As Mobius placed his lips onto yours again, his tongue teasing your own, you could feel Loki’s hands gripping your panties, sliding them down. He took in a breath, giving himself a moment to take you in. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, just before spreading you with two of his fingers.

“Mmm, fuck,” you moaned against Mobius’ lips, moving so that Loki had perfect access. All you wanted was his tongue on you, or even his fingers filling you up.

Okay, that’s not all you wanted, but it was a start. What you really wanted wasn’t just his fingers filling you up, but either - or both of their cock’s inside of you, hitting that one spot you really loved-

“Loki!” you gasped as his mouth connected with your clit, his finger easily sliding into you. You bucked against him, biting your own lip as Mobius slid down near Loki, giving him a kiss before removing his finger and sucking on it, tasting your juices. The look in their eyes when they looked at eachother - it was sending you over the edge already.

“Look at her, Loki,” Mobius observed. “She’s already wanting to cum on your mouth. Should we let her?” Was he teasing us? You were dripping at this point, coating his mouth with your juices, gripping the covers with your fists. The look in Loki’s eyes was feral as his tongue flicked over your clit and then swirled around it. The only answer he provided was a groan of pleasure from having his tongue play with your clit. He was waiting for permission.

“Not yet,” Mobius decided, grabbing a handful of Loki’s hair, pulling him back. Loki’s face was pure disappointment, which he soothed by licking his lips, tasting you again.

Loki moved towards you, his face hovering over yours. “You taste so good,” he whispered. “Do you want to taste yourself?”

You gave a nod, staring up at him and he gave you the most passionate kiss you’ve ever felt, his tongue enveloping yours. You sucked on it, moaning against his tongue as you savored yourself.

As you sucked on his tongue, you realized you were one-hundred percent more wet than you started off, and you couldn’t help but squirm as Mobius spread your legs ever father, his finger moving slowly up and down your clit. This was fucking agonizing. You didn’t want to be teased, you wanted them to take you right here on this bed.

“Good things come to those who wait, y/n.”

You stared at Mobius who was currently sliding a single finger into you excruciatingly slowly, a pleasured smile on his face, most likely because he knew how bad you wanted him, wanted the both of them to be inside of you.

“Please,” you begged as Loki started to unhook your bra, placing his mouth on your nipple. “I-I want-”

Mobius stopped pumping his finger in and out of you, joining Loki in playing with your nipples. “Yes y/n, tell me what you want and I may even give it to you.” Before you could speak, he slid his finger into your mouth which just made you buck your hips even more.

“Oh, is that what you want?” Suddenly, he grabbed Loki and started taking off the remainder of his clothes, finally sliding off his belt and undoing his pants, shoving them down with his underwear and exposing his cock. “Is this what you want? You need to be fucked?” You glanced at Mobius who was currently stroking Loki who tilted his back in pleasure. The sight was fucking angelic, and all you could do was speechlessly nod without abandon.

Loki was rock hard, probably from the moment he saw your glistening pussy. As you rose to your knees, you met his face as you pumped him with your hand, taking over from Mobius, exploring him. “Do you like that?” You wanted to edge him on. You wanted him to lose control, especially because you could see how much he was trying to contain himself. Mobius saw it too, which was part of the reason he was teasing the both of you so much. The other reason was because he wanted to see just how bad you wanted him.

No response, just another groan. You heard Mobius taking his pants off but was utterly focused on pleasuring Loki.

Suddenly you could feel Mobius’ cock against your ass, him coming behind you and feeling on your breasts. “Now tell Daddy exactly what you want.”

Fuck.

“Both of you. Inside of me.” You turned your head to look at him, biting your lip out of embarrassment.

Surprise lit his features. “Are you sure about that? I don’t want it to be too much for you… Yet.”

You nodded quickly. “I want both of you to fill me up.”

Mobius tore you away from Loki, pushing you face forward onto the bed, placing a hand on your stomach to prop your ass up. You took that as a clue to arch your back. “Good girl,” Loki remarked, moving you over momentarily to move under you. Loki started teasing you, placing his cock at your entrance.

“No, no more teasing,” you begged, letting out a little wine. “Please just… Please fuck me!”

“Isn’t she impatient, sweetie?” Mobius pondered, lubing himself up with something you didn’t recognize, then going to his fingers so he could stretch you out. From this angle, Mobius could control everything. He slid a finger into your ass which caused a moan to slip out. Honestly, this wasn’t a normal thing for you, but you had to have both of them. You didn’t want to wait or deny yourself any longer.

You bucked against his finger as he slid another one inside of you. It hurt a little, but in the best way possible. You could feel him stretching you out, taking his time, just as Loki rubbed himself against your clit. Loki’s little pants and quiet moans were only teasing you further, and even Mobius looked like he was losing his resolve to go slowly.

Words wouldn’t, or rather, couldn’t escape your mouth. You already felt so filled up with Mobius’ fingers pumping in and out of you, Loki threatening to slip inside of you. The feeling you felt was best described as… helpless. They were controlling your every move, how fast or slow you went, when or even if you would cum.

Mobius gave a look to Loki, silently giving him permission as he slowly slid his fingers out of you. “Are you ready, sweetheart?” Loki asked, his soft and wanting eyes staring up at you and pushing your hair behind your ear. “Would you like to feel me inside of you?”

“Y-Yes!” You leaned further onto him so that Mobius would have easier access to your ass and so that Loki could easily slip inside of you. His breathing turned ragged as the head of his cock teased your entrance, but you were tired of being teased. All those nights fantasizing about this, fantasizing about the looks they were giving you now. Never in a million years would you think they would want this too, but here they were, one under you and one on top, showing you how much they cared for you.

Even though Mobius wrapped his fingers around your hips, moving Loki’s legs slightly so he could have as much access to you as he needed, you slid onto Loki’s long shaft, sending shocks throughout your body. His grip tightened just as you could feel Mobius’ lubed cock slide into your ass.

Filled up is what you felt. You almost felt overwhelmed with it, but you could take it. You could take both of them as they started pumping in and out of you. You closed your eyes, almost feeling high, feeling like the universe was moving throughout your body.

Mobius couldn’t have possibly known your eyes were closed, but you felt one arm wrap around your waist as his fingers tightened in your hair. “Look at him pumping inside of you, y/n. Watch him fuck you.” His breath was ragged too as you moved between them, your hands tightening around Loki’s shoulders for purchase.

The moans coming out of you were loud, probably loud enough to wake the entire compound, but you didn’t care. They were stretching you out, filling you up entirely. You had never felt more loved than this exact moment. “Please-” you moaned. At this point, you weren’t sure what you were saying. You weren’t sure of anything, and you especially weren’t sure where you ended and Loki and Mobius began. “I don’t know if I can-” you started, pausing to look at Loki’s feral glance. You knew you were dripping with want, with need. You were wet, so wet, and so tight, and you loved the feeling of him inside of you. He was a god, and that almost all-powerful thing inside of him threatened to come out with every thrust, every new moan you made.

“What’s wrong?” Mobius asked, moving his hand from your hair to your chin, making you look at him. His eyes were almost glossed over, and he was still fighting his composure.

You shook your head, moving to buck back against him, which prompted him to move his hand back to your hair, controlling your every move, your every thrust. “I just don’t think I can-” Another shock rang throughout your body as they grew even more in sync with each other, picking up their pace. You felt totally dominated, and your mind was reeling from the fact that the two people you loved so much were fucking you into oblivion. The blush spread to your nose as you bit your lip. “I don’t think I can last long,” you moaned, rolling your head back momentarily as Mobius loosened his grip, kissing your soft lips.

Fuck, you saw stars. You were so close already, and his lips on yours didn’t help, his tongue exploring your own. His moans vibrated against your mouth as he grabbed a handful of your hair again, pushing you down to kiss Loki as he chuckled, some sadistic part of him enjoying seeing you on the edge. While you were usually so in control of everything around you, Mobius liked seeing you completely out of control, at his mercy.

Loki was close too. You could tell, because his grip was tightening even further on your waist, holding you completely in place while he slid in and out of you, his teeth gently pulling on your bottom lip. Through all three of your moans, you could hear the wet slap of his cock as he fucked you. He kept hitting that exact place you wanted him to, which made you cry out in pleasure. You were so glad they were both holding you, otherwise you didn’t think you could hold yourself up anymore.

Mobius’ hand moved from your hair to your throat, his grip tightening around you. Your eyes widened as any control you previously had completely disappeared along with your resolve to hold on. Your eyes squeezed shut for a moment as your pussy tightened around Loki’s cock, causing him to cry out in turn. Your eyes opened again, watching him shoot his cum inside of you. “Y/n!” He cried out your name as he reached for you, his hand tightening around your own.

“Fuck,” Mobius swore. Galaxies exploded inside of you as you gripped Loki’s other hand too, biting your lip as you felt Mobius shoot inside of your ass with a loud groan.

As your orgasm finally calmed, you felt the both of them slide out of you and let out an involuntary whimper. The feeling of being filled up, it was… everything. And now you felt empty. But as soon as they heard it, they came to your rescue, Loki turning over and pressing your face to his chest as Mobius laid down at your side, stroking your back and covering the three of you up.

“Better?” he whispered.

You nodded, moving your head to stare up at him, your lip wobbling a little. You felt completely exhausted, and the world felt like it was spinning around you, but as soon as you felt their arms tighten around you, you came back to Earth. He planted a small kiss on your lips, giving you a smile that made all dark thoughts completely disappear. You could see things in that smile, things that had been left unsaid.

“So much better,” you sighed.

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 26: Abandoned

(Form an alliance with the masses.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 26: Abandoned

Word Count: 2835

Relationships: Prinxiety (implied pre-relationship/pining Virgil)

Warnings: Crying/Emotional breakdown, mild self-harm (unintentional), mild blood, mentions of panic attacks, mention of rituals/sacrifices in a joking/satirical manner

A/N: i don't really have much of an explanation as to how this ties in with the prompt. you could view it as roman abandoning his pride to accept comfort, or virgil abandoning his anxiety to help someone he cares about, or even just something as simple as that abandoned mug of hot chocolate. up to you, do with this what you will. anyway, i intended this to be way angstier, but then it somehow got to almost 3k word of prinxiety fluff? so. yeah idek either. by the way, the song in the fic is called "Ribbons".

“And you fell in ribbons around me.”

It’s nighttime when he hears it. The melody of a song too obscure to pinpoint, beauty in each wistful note. The words are laced with thoughtfulness, speared by longing, and it’s unlike anything Virgil’s ever heard before. It’s almost as if the lyrics themselves dance down the hallway, twirls and pirouettes and every kind of graceful move imaginable to the ballad from which they were born. Virgil doesn’t know the song, hasn’t heard it sung or played in the mindscape before, which is odd considering how it feels like there’s always new music waiting to be discovered here.

“Shredded by the ones you used to seek.”

Virgil hopes he’s not intruding on anything important when he rounds the corner, and he’s met with a massive room he didn’t even know existed. It spans multiple stories, bookshelves filled with all different sorts of novels towering so far into the sky that he can’t see to the top. The room itself is oval-shaped, which is odd enough, but considering this is in Thomas’ mind, anything is possible. Smaller, more normal-sized bookcases lie in rows on either side of the room, creating long passageways that seem to twist and turn like a labyrinth fueled by pure knowledge. In the very center lies a few couches and beanbags chairs all situated in a circle, bordering a large table in the middle that holds magazines, stray bookmarks, pens, and a single mug of what looks to be steaming hot coffee beside an opened book.

The room is impressive, and almost intimidating with it’s accented swirling designs in the mahogany wood that makes up most of the walls, but the fireplace directly in front of him on the other side of the library emits a glow that keeps it cozy despite its enormity. It’s warmer in here than it is in the main part of the mindscape, though cool enough so as not to be uncomfortable, almost at the perfect temperature to lull one to sleep whilst in the middle of reading.

Virgil wonders why he never knew of this place.

“Be quiet now, it’s almost time.”

The soft voice comes again from somewhere in the left half of the room, far away enough to allow Virgil to conclude that he’s on a different floor. It’s Roman, he knows it is now that he can hear his voice better, but what’s Roman doing in a library at three in the morning?

Virgil twists his hoodie strings in his fingers as he slowly walks into the library, making the trek across the plush green carpet to the common area in the center. The soft fabric caressing his bare feet feels more soothing than he was expecting, like a cloud holding him up as he walks across the sky. He doesn’t know if Roman came in here with the express intent of being alone, but hopefully he won’t be angry. Virgil couldn’t sleep, and who’s to say he’s to blame for being curious?

“Be careful not to fall out of line.”

A page finally submits to it’s rigid conditioning and falls back to the other half as Virgil approaches, exacerbated further by the small amount of a breeze he kicks up when he gets close enough. Scanning everything on the table is more of out of wonder, for once, rather than fear, and it’s a nice breath of air from the usual hypervigilance he’s been instilled with since his first appearance within Thomas as a side.

There’s not much of note in the way of the scattered supplies and note sheets littering the table, covered in neat handwriting that is undoubtedly Logan’s. It’s a surprise to see such a disquieted work space, such an unrefined lack of organization that isn’t typical of Logan’s usual behaviour. His need for categorizing and cataloguing and sorting is something that feels like it’s been ingrained into him since day one, and to see his visibly scattered thought and work process is weird. Really weird.

“Breathe so softly, keep your whispers low.”

Virgil notices that the bright red porcelain mug on the table doesn’t, in fact, hold coffee, but hot chocolate with colourful marshmallows. It’s fitting to Roman, suits his need for simple comforts such as a warm, sweet beverage, and the thought of him with a chocolate mustache on his lip from drinking it too quickly brings a small smile to Virgil’s face. Well, at least it does until Hot Chocolate Mustache Roman turns into Regular Remus, and Virgil berates his brain for corrupting a pleasant mental image like that.

The liquid is still very hot, as shown by the steam rising from the lip of the cup and the heat Virgil can feel radiating onto his fingers despite his hands not even being close to touching the ceramic. It hasn’t been drunk, not even a sip as evident by the perfectly clean and immaculate rim around the edge, which means Roman must have either gotten distracted or was in a hurry for something. Virgil can’t imagine that someone leisurely singing songs at 3 a.m. is necessarily in a rush, so that just leaves distraction. Typical of him. Virgil wishes he were annoyed instead of endeared.

“Silently dream of what you used to know.”

Virgil finally tears himself away from the warmth, comfort, and coziness of the reading area to start locating Roman, and it’s not particularly difficult to find him. His voice carries even when he’s not in one of those grandiose, lifting belts he loves so much, and the melodies act as a rope to pull Virgil closer to where he is. Up the stairs behind one of the bookcases on the wall, along balconies, traversing ladders and mazes of shelves just to try to find his way to the source of the song.

“They don’t love you, no, they never will.”

At that lyric, Virgil stops in his tracks, falters when the words sink in. Is… is that what Roman thinks? It could be argued that they’re just lyrics and don’t mean anything, but Virgil of all people knows best that the music we listen to is an extension of ourselves. It reflects our deepest wants, and fear, and insecurities, the ones we refuse to let out of their cages locked deep within the heart to escape and leave us vulnerable. And judging by the raw emotion in his voice as he sang that line, the way it dipped at the end of the line very narrowly missing a crack, it… it makes Virgil worried. And guilty, because this must be partially his fault. 

“They’ll always be better so rest your heart and still.”

Virgil wants to tell him that he’s wrong, wants to stave off the thickness steadily building in his throat as the result of what is likely to be tears. Roman’s cried around them, of course, but never over something very serious or personal. When he learned an actress Thomas looks up to died, or when he realized that a show they were scheduled to play got cancelled at the last minute after weeks and weeks of painstaking script memorization and practice.

It’s hard to not say something when he finally peers through an open space in the last bookcase in the row and sees his their Princey, of whom is surprisingly not in his trademark royal garb. He wears it so often Virgil has wondered before if he dons it while he sleeps, when he works out, even in the shower, and if Virgil’s being honest, it wouldn’t surprise him. But the familiar red sash and white jacket and golden lace embroidery is nowhere to be seen, replaced by something much less prince-like, more humbling, more… human.

Virgil never thought he’d be admitting to himself that Roman somehow is able to look hot in dark grey sweatpants and a loose red t-shirt, but here he is.

“It’s time to leave, I promise it’ll be fine.”

Roman sings much softer this time, as if coming to his senses about his surrounding, realizes that it’s late and he might wake someone up. Too late.

His face is stained with tear tracks, both old and fresh with the moisture building in his eyes only to spill over the dam and roll heavy upon his cheekbones. Virgil’s so used to him keeping up appearances, just as Virgil himself and every other side does despite how much Patton denies being sad or Logan denies having emotions, and he decides he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the sorrow in their resident prince’s eyes, doesn’t like the way meekness looks on him.

“Just don’t look, they’re not coming back this time.”

Roman seems to get impossibly smaller with every uttered word, curling in on himself where he sits against the railing, peering over the balcony to the ground floor many stories below with misty, unseeing eyes. His arms slowly snake their way up to his sides, come to clench at each other with a surprisingly harsh force. His fingers dig hard enough into his arms to cause them to go white with the lack of blood, to create crescents in the shape of his fingernails, and Virgil doesn’t think he’ll be able to hold himself back from rushing over to help any longer if he sees even the tiniest ounce of blood come out of Roman’s skin.

“Tell me now how is it up there.”

And it does, unfortunately. Roman has never been one to control his strength very well, and in this state of upset, it’s likely he doesn’t even feel the pain. Being numbed by self-loathing, the apathy that comes shortly after almost like a soothing but assertively temporary balm to the pain, it’s all so familiar. Virgil knows that state like the back of his hand, can almost feel it radiating off of Roman in waves, but maybe that’s his ability to sense the others’ anxiety. He’s still not very good at being able to differentiate between different feelings.

Tiny little droplets of blood well up from where he pressed a bit too hard with sharp, manicured nails, wells up just the same as a soft sob does. Virgil doesn’t know why he’s here. He doesn’t know what happened, what set him off, what triggered this kind of response. He doesn’t know the kinds of thoughts Roman may be having, or how in control of himself he is. He doesn’t know. But Virgil will damn well try to help despite all of that.

“Princey?” Virgil murmurs from behind, and Roman flinches as he whips his head around to meet Virgil’s concerned gaze. He seems bewildered for a moment, as if he hadn’t been expecting anybody to be in here, which would be a fair assumption if it weren’t for the fact that Virgil’s sleeping habits and schedule is awful. Roman takes a minute to process the turn of events, and then comes back to himself with a shuddering sigh as he hastily wipes his tears away with unforgiving fingers.

“Haha, what are-- what’re you doing up, Surly Temple? Prowling in the night? Some sort of… I dunno, emo ritual? A-All the emos gather ‘round at 2 a.m. to chant My Chemical Romance lyrics while they sacrifice band tees to the flames?” Roman rambles on nervously, a look on his face that implies even he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore. He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly when Virgil gives him a judging look, but then hisses through his teeth when he realizes he has minor wounds littering his upper arms. Virgil’s immediately back to that same worry, that same empathy that coursed through his veins before, and he calmly approaches the disheveled prince. Roman gives him an unreadable look when he sits down a respectable distance away (closer than Virgil originally planned on being, close enough to barely be able to brush shoulders if he just leaned over a bit), but soon his eyelids flutter as he shifts his gaze back to look out over the chasm filled with books.

“C’mon, Princey, what’s up?” Virgil asks quietly, knocks his shoulder against Roman’s in a show of good faith (at least he hopes it comes across like that). Although he still feels awkward talking so candidly with someone he’s used to bickering with all the time, Virgil finds himself oddly confident. Maybe it’s the survival instinct that’s embedded so deeply within his core, the want to protect and save those he cares about, those who have been hurt by both others and themselves. Although he and Deceit have had their differences in the past, ones Virgil is still having trouble reconciling even after acknowledging his faults in the unfortunate falling out, the two of them share that, at least. Self-preservation, two sides working to protect and better Thomas (and the sides, by extension) in their own specific ways. 

“It’s… it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Just saw a-- saw a sad movie! Needed to cry it out, haha!” Roman bites out, pained and strained and oh so fake, and Virgil huffs out an exasperated breath. It’s times like now where Virgil feels that intense urge to safeguard, to shelter the ones he cares about, and it builds in his chest like a scream waiting to burst out. There’s no way to expel the restless energy, no way to quench that absurd, overwhelming need to shield, except…

“Roman, don’t do this to yourself,” Virgil murmurs gently, reprimands with a soft, caring tone, and taking the other side into his arms is much easier than he ever imagined. It feels right, feels like he’s supposed to be here, helping and holding the creative side throughout anything the world could throw at him. Or whatever he can throw at himself; Virgil is no stranger to being your own worst enemy. Roman just laughs brokenly, shudders through another sob as he buries his face into the soft fabric of Virgil’s patchy jacket, and Virgil wraps his arms around the broader shoulders to offer the rare moment of tactile comfort while he’s able to stand physical touch.

They sit there for a long time, a long few hours of Roman crying as quietly as he can while Virgil delivers gentle, relaxing reassurances. He knows it isn’t easy to open up like this, to allow someone you’re not very close to see you vulnerable, and Virgil hopes that maybe this’ll spark a change. Maybe they can get to know each other a bit better, understand each other’s intentions and wants and needs, and maybe. Maybe they can be friends, could be something more.

Roman’s weeping tapers off eventually, shifts into soft sniffles as the sun rises high enough to shine bright rays through the enormous stained glass window in the center of the library, just above the fireplace. Virgil is starting to get uncomfortable from holding the same position for too long, and sitting hunched over on the floor for hours like this surely isn’t very good for his back, but he’ll deal with that when it comes. Right now, his focus is on Roman, on wiping the last stray tears away from his reddened cheeks after a moment’s hesitation, and he counts it a victory when Roman doesn’t push him away for it.

Roman sits up fully but doesn’t lean away, just presses his fingers into his eyes as the two of them finally rise and stretch their sore muscles. Virgil can’t help but admire the way the red light falls upon Roman’s face, the way it casts shadows and highlights and wraps his lips and lashes in hard candy. It’s breathtaking, steals the air from his lungs and the support from his trembling knees, and he knows they need to wrap this up quickly before the events of the night can fully crash down on Virgil and send him into a spiral. The panic attacks can wait until later, when he’s alone and doesn’t have to deal with the humiliation of being so uncharacteristically sappy.

Roman sudden barks out a hoarse laugh, shakes his head at Virgil’s questioning look. He leans back nonchalantly, tries to appear casual even though Virgil can see that his hands are still shaking in the aftermath of his breakdown. He won’t say anything, though. He doesn’t like when people call attention to his anxiety unnecessarily, and although he knows it’s out of concern, it often just makes it worse. “‘Grasp my hand and pull me out of here.’ The next line in the song.”

Virgil smirks at the soft, final notes, senses an idea blooming in his head. This is probably a bad idea, a terrible idea, and Roman will probably slap him for it, but… he said to grasp his hand and pull him out of there. So Virgil does, he slides his hand into Roman’s own, tugs him to run down the balcony and the stairs and through bookshelves and the thankful grin he’s given in return is absolutely blinding.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

“Murphy plans, Emori reacts”

When we started season 5, I confidently said a few times, “Murphy plans, Emori reacts” and then the show proceeded to prove me wrong like five times in a row, so I was like, “okay, I clearly read that part of their dynamic wrong, let me adjust my reading of them.”

But I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and I don’t think I’m wrong that that WAS true for most of season 3 and 4 - and the shift in that dynamic is another sign of how the time in space affected and changed them.

Emori can be incredibly cautious about things, she tries to avoid situations that will put her in danger, and she IS conniving and clever and smart and has thought and manipulated her way out of some dangerous situations (namely the iconic Baylis con). All of that is true. But once Emori was IN a dangerous situation, she often tended to react rashly:

she was going to fight three large, armed men in the forest when they captured John and only stopped because he told her not to (there was literally no grand plan there other than fight to the death with one (1) knife)

she took the chip despite seeing what it had done to Otan because it MIGHT have helped her find John

she wanted to go after Otan despite it being incredibly dangerous and only didn’t go because John argued against it (acting as the rational voice of reason)

she tried to cut and run after 3x16 because she was afraid of what John’s reaction was going to be

her first response to hearing about the plan to test nightblood was to immediately assume it was going to be her and try to run away, despite not having all the information

her immediate response to everyone finding out about her con was to RUN FORWARD AND TRY TO DESTROY THE MACHINE WITH EVERYONE STANDING THERE WATCHING (literally the dumbest thing Emori has ever done)

Up until s5, Emori tends to panic and then react. The fact that she is cautious and wary tends to keep her out of dangerous situations in the first place, but once she’s in them, she doesn’t take the time to plan an escape - she runs for it, ready to throw fists at anything and anyone in her way.

Because that’s what Emori had to do to survive in the world. She faced so much danger in her life that she had to learn to react to things quickly, and if something started looking like a dangerous situation, she really only had two options: throw some fists or flee.

Emori is brilliant. She’s a master manipulator. But she’s really not a strategist.

Before s5, Murphy really is the more level-headed of the two of them, even though there seems to be some sort of disconnect that keeps the fandom from viewing Murphy as level-headed in any way. (He WAS, guys.) Emori’s the one who wants to fly into a situation fists swinging without all the information, Murphy’s the one who wants to stop, take a breath, figure out what the situation is, and THEN come up with a way to get out of it.

And this is all because of what happened to Murphy when he was the one acting on impulse. The way that Murphy reacts to danger in s3/s4 is absolutely a result of the hanging and the banishing (and likely, getting locked in a lighthouse he immediately decided was a safe haven without knowing otherwise.) Acting on impulse ended badly for Murphy. Using violence ended badly for Murphy. And because he’s the ultimate survivor - because he LEARNS and adapts to keep surviving (the whole survivor identity is more than just luck, guys) - he learned to stop, assess a situation, and then approach it. (Not to say that he doesn’t sometimes still act rashly or with violence when strong emotions are motivating him, of course.)

That’s why he:

wisely told Emori not to fight a bunch of armed men in the forest with one (1) knife and instead found a way to save himself using the information he learned by not acting rashly

found a way to keep himself alive with Ontari that didn’t require him to fight everyone in the tower and die

was the ONLY ONE in the ALIE Resistance Team that pointed out going up the tower with no way down was going to likely end badly for them

calmed Emori down during 4x07 and then went to a) learn more information about the situation (aka, hey Clarke are you REALLY going to use my girlfriend in your experiment?) and b) potentially to try to talk Clarke out of it

Pre-s5: Emori panics and reacts. Murphy thinks things through. Both as a result of things that have happened to them in the past.

And then in s5, the dynamic flips completely. 

This isn’t a case of bad writing or the writers losing track of their characters (like some of s5, tbh) - this was a deliberate change in character indicative of the change both of them went through in space.

I’ve talked before about how the environment on the Ring affected Emori and Murphy both completely differently, and I won’t go a long rant here - but the gist is this: to Emori, space was a safe haven she’d never experienced before. Space was an entirely new place that held no trauma for her and had never operated under the laws of Earth that banished her. Space was a fresh start, populated only by people who had been willing to save her life and later came to accept and love and support her.

Space for Emori was almost paradise. Sure, they were stuck, and sure, it was constantly trying to kill them, but it was a far improvement from Earth, which had not only always tried to kill her, but also always isolated her. And that’s why Emori was able to grow so much and so positively on the Ring.

Space also was full of threats, but they weren’t the immediate kind she had been used to on Earth. Sure, a breakdown of the Ring’s life support systems would kill them, but reacting rashly and without thinking things through was not only no longer useful, it was more dangerous. The way to stay alive in space was to learn as much as she could about the Ark systems and how to repair them and then maintain them through slow, continuous, monotonous repairs. And that likely forced Emori to change her tendency of reacting without thinking. It taught her to pause before acting and think things through. It taught her to plan and be strategic.

Space for Murphy, however, was hell. Not only was it a place that held trauma for him, but he was trapped with a bunch of people who he had complicated pasts with. Space couldn’t be a fresh start for him at all. And since I tend to believe that there’s a lot more trauma related to the lighthouse bunker than the show really dives into, being trapped in an enclosed space for such an extended length of time was likely the worst possible thing for Murphy.

Murphy tends to need distractions to handle uncomfortable situations, and when he doesn’t keep himself occupied, he struggles. I mean, we’ve all joked about his tendency to find toys everywhere he goes, but that little detail really does show us something about Murphy’s character - he needs to be distracted. He needs things to happen. Richard has talked about how Murphy struggles with peace time, and I think it’s because Murphy really doesn’t handle being bored well. Because being bored gives you time to think and be introspective - and in an environment brimming with trauma and unresolved issues, I’m sure that’s the absolutely last thing Murphy wanted.

The problem is that the Ring was pretty much unchanging for 6 years. Once you fall into a rhythm of the necessary tasks to survive, there isn’t much to do. And if Murphy in particular didn’t feel he had a useful and unique skill to contribute, then he really didn’t have much to do. Playing around with bouncy balls is only going to keep you occupied for so long.

So Murphy in s5 NEEDS SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. He’s bursting with anxious energy. He’s bored and trying to keep himself distracted. He’s feeling trapped. He needs to act. And so he backtracks. No longer does he stop to plan things through, he just acts, because at least SOMETHING will happen, even if it’s bad.

The Murphy of past seasons would have never suggested they contact the other ship before knowing if it was a threat or not. He would have been cautious and wary of putting themselves in danger. But the Murphy of s5 who is dying for some kind of change in the endless monotony of the Ring, who cares more about getting down to Earth than staying cautious, who picks fights just for SOMETHING to do, wants to contact that ship the minute they spot it because potential danger is better than the hellish, unending waiting.

The fact that Murphy reacts so rashly throughout so much of s5 isn’t meant to be an aspect of his character that’s overlooked. It ISN’T “just classic Murphy” - and that’s the point. It’s indicative of what’s happening inside of him - what’s been happening over the course of the time we missed and how it’s changed him.

And the fact that it ALWAYS BACKFIRES ON HIM is also incredibly important. Staying behind with Raven before knowing all the information leaves him stranded in the last place he wants to be. Throwing the rock and starting the riot ruins the truce that Bellamy/Clarke had secured. 

Which is why I’m still a bit disappointed that this writing didn’t carry through to any kind of conclusion. We didn’t have a moment when Murphy was forced to recognize acting rashly was only going to get him killed. (I mean....acting rashly DID get him shot, but it’s also framed as a necessary and noble sacrifice to keep Bellamy and Echo safe.) Emori grew positively and that was celebrated by the narrative - but Murphy growing negatively wasn’t called out the way it NEEDED to be called out. Not in the end, at least.

Having Emori and Murphy switch roles in this dynamic was really important to show how they handled space and what it did to them and to easily reveal who they were now compared to 6 years ago, and I do really think that was masterfully done (5x04 aside) - but whatever message they were trying to deliver with Murphy was lost amongst everything happening in the finale. And that’s disappointing.

Still. At least I didn’t misunderstand their dynamic for two seasons. (Go me!) This change was absolutely intentional.

[jamie-leah]

Dancing Shadows- Part 3

Bucky x Reader 

Summary:  You’re a fire elemental that has been in love with Bucky for a long time. He doesn’t know and you can’t tell him because of his girlfriend. And with an enemy threatening you and everything you love, will you and Bucky find each other before its too late?

Word Count: 2325

Warnings: Violence, a breakdown, swearing 

A/N: Here’s another part! Please remember to give some feedback, I write for you and it really motivates me! Thank you for reading and enjoy Lovelies! Permanent tags are OPEN and series tags are OPEN 

Dancing Shadows Masterlist   Series Masterlist   One Shot Masterlist 

You knew Steve would fill everyone in on the information you just shared so you decided to go for a walk. Even though your body hurt your mind was wandering too much cooped up in your room. You put shoes on and enter the elevator where F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks which floor. For a few seconds you long to be in Bucky’s presence, to talk through all the thoughts in your head but you knew it was a bad idea. Still you found yourself asking, “where’s Bucky? What is he doing?”.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. replies, “he is in his room, would you like me to get him for you?”

“Is he with Jessica?”.

“Yes”.

You sigh, “don’t bother him. Just take me to the exit F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’m going for a walk”. The elevator makes its way down while you try and figure out where you’re going to walk to.

When you exit the tower, your feet do the thinking for you as you get lost in different thoughts. Bucky was lingering above all else, not having the heart think about your parents. Steve always thought you should tell him. He always said Bucky has feelings for you, but its hard to see when Jess is around which is most of the time. You wouldn’t want to complicate his life anymore than it is, but if you were going to tell him there just never seemed to be the right time between missions and Jess being there.

Before you knew it, you were in the heart of the city. The skies darken as the clouds let the first drops of rain loose. Despite your powers you loved the rain and it matched your mood perfectly. You felt a vibration in your pocket, so you fished it out with your hand. When you looked you saw you had a few missed calls from Steve and one from Bucky. Looking at the time you realise you had been walking for a few hours. Your phone vibrates again, a picture of Bucky lighting up the screen. You don’t answer for a few seconds, admiring one of the only photos you have of him. He isn’t fond of pictures but the one on the screen was of Bucky laughing, eyes closed with crinkles on the side. His hair framing his face like a make-up artist had just done it.

You answer it, “hey, what’s wrong?”.

You hear Bucky sigh in relief, “nothing now. F.R.I.D.A.Y. had said you had gone for a walk but that was hours ago, and Steve and I was worried you had over done it”.

You smile at their concern, “well I’m alive, so no need to worry. Did you and Jess make up?”. You carry on walking through the streets, the rain coming down harder.

“Yes, we did eventually. I’m sorry for bailing, Steve said he had to go and help you-“.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Buck. I told you to go, and you’ve sorted it all out with Jessica”. The name tasted bad in your mouth.

Bucky makes a noise of agreement, “I just think it’s harder than its supposed to be sometimes. Its not as easy as when I’m with-“. He never gets to finish that sentence when a scream pierces through the street, swiftly followed by more and people running. Bucky instantly goes on high alert, “what was that? What’s going on?”.

You look around confused not seeing the danger everyone is running from. You step in front of someone and catch them as they bump into you, “what’s going on?”.

The woman looks frantic to get away, “I don’t know, it happened a few blocks away”. You don’t waste time as you take off in the opposite way to everyone else. You hear Bucky talk again, “where are you Y/N? I’m on my way”.

You manage to talk around the breaths you’re heaving in, “remember where we went for that coffee and you spilt some on me, so I tipped mine on you? It’s a few blocks north of that. Get Tony to track my phone”.

You hear him talking to someone else, you think its Tony and Steve and Sam, but their voices fall away when you reach the scene. You come across a few rows of apartment blocks, some on fire, some ripped in half and bodies everywhere. You spot three people in the middle of it all, elementals by the looks of it. They’re killing people left and right. To stop the fire elemental from killing another you drop your phone, sending a ball of fire that knocks him back into the apartment blocks.

The other two notice you, leaving the people they were about to pray on. You roll your shoulders back, trying to look more confident and ready than you felt. The water elemental spoke, “He requires your allegiance to his cause”.

You try to stall them, so the others can get here, “why didn’t he ask me himself?”. The two steps forward, the water elemental a woman, the air a man. The man speaks next, “he had other commitments”.  

You can feel your insides shake at taking on all three elementals by yourself, “and if I say no?”.

They both smile, the woman speaking again, “I’m sure you’re old enough to have heard the stories”. You roll your eyes at their cryptic bullshit, “okay, you may think you’re coming across all cool and evil but you seriously sound dumb”.

They look at each other and you feel your heart rate pick up. They look back at you throwing their power at you. You dodge the water not wanting it to hinder your fire, but you get hit with a burst of air. You get knocked back impossibly far, across the street and into the windows of an abandoned coffee shop. You crash into some tables and chairs and land on the floor.

Your spine feels like its on fire and you groan as you try to get up. When you turn around you’re met with the three of them standing there watching you. Your stomach flips, and you had the faint feeling that you may die today.

The fire elemental you knocked over stepped forward, “He has allowed you time to think, to join willingly, but he will come whether you’re ready or not”. He strikes suddenly, his own fire hitting you. You crash into more tables as you slide across the room and into the back wall. You can’t help but cry out at the pain.

It takes you a few moments to recover, but when you do the three are gone. You know you have to get up to help people, to put the fire out in the apartment buildings, but everything hurts too much. A few seconds later you hear Bucky calling out your name, along with Sam and Steve.

You shout out, “in here!”. Bucky reaches you first, worry all over his face so you try to lighten the mood, “just thought I’d grab a cup of coffee, being a superhero is thirsty work”. He gives you a glare, telling you he doesn’t think it was funny. Steve comes running in, “Y/N, I know you’re hurt, but do you think you can put out the fires, it’s starting to spread to other buildings. You nod your head but cry out when Bucky allows you to stand on your own.

He reaches out to you and turns to Steve, “no, we’ll have to think of something else, she’s too hurt”. Bucky proceeds to pick you up bridal style and starts to leave the coffee shop. You pat him on the shoulder, “I know you’re worried Buck, but it’s my job. Let me do that and then you can take me home”. His eyes search yours for a few moments before carrying you over to the buildings. Its not long before you’ve put out all the fires. Steve tells Bucky to take me back while he and Sam stay to help out.

Bucky carries you all the way back to the tower. When you get into the elevator you ask Bucky a question that has been playing on your mind since Bucky picked you up, “so, you never did finish that sentence from the conversation we had earlier”. He looks down at you with a half-smile. He takes a few moments to answer, “after everything that just happened you’re still concerned with our conversation from earlier?”.

You raise your eyebrows in a ‘yes, but please answer my question’. He sighs, but it comes across as a nervous sigh, “I was going to say that it’s not as easy as when I’m with you. I was going to say you”. Your heart stops and yet beats faster all at once. You had hoped it would be you, but you never thought that he would actual say that.

Then the doors to the elevator chimes open with Jess standing on the order side. You know what she’s seeing, you in Bucky’s arms lovingly looking up at him as he looks back. Bucky steps forward, but Jess steps back looking hurt. She takes the stairs next to the elevator instead, the door banging shut behind her. Bucky calls out to her, looking down at you and back at the door. You make the choice easier for him, “put me down Bucky”.

He looks at you confused, “what?”.

“Put me down, I can walk from here. You obviously need to go after her”.

“But-“.

“Go Buck. I’ll be fine”. He takes another few seconds before he sets you down gently. He kisses your cheek before running through the door and down the stairs. Before you know it you’ve sunk to the floor with F.R.I.D.A.Y. asking if you need assistance. You ignore her, not having the energy to say anything as you lay back on the floor.

You can feel your body shutting down, wanting to rest, to sleep. You weren’t sure if it was from the beating you’ve taken over the last two days or the heart ache that never seems to go away, but you don’t care. You let the cool tiles seep into your back as you close your eyes to the harsh light in the hall. There’s a roaring in your ears, like the ocean on a stormy day, and every cut and bruise pulses with pain to the time of your heartbeat. You find that it doesn’t quite hurt as much as the ache in your chest. You can’t help that small part of you that wonders about the day that he’ll stay.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of footsteps approaching, Tony’s face coming into focus followed by Thor’s. You give a small smile to Thor having not seen him for a few months, but you see his lips moving and no sound coming out. Tony goes to touch you but pulls his hand away like he’s been burnt. You try to focus more on what your body is doing and that’s when you realise your fingertips are on fire. You make out Tony saying, “F.R.I.D.A.Y. turn the sprinklers on”. They come on immediately, water raining down on all three of you. The fire sputters out, partly from the water and from your efforts.

You’re still not cool enough to be touched yet, but you can hear Tony speak now, “Y/N, are you okay? You need to tell me what’s going on”. You get a flash back to the words the elemental said earlier, “he will come whether you’re ready or not”, and suddenly you begin to cry. Your tears mix with the water raining down, but Tony still notices. Shock over takes his features for a split second. He’s only ever seen you cry once before.

Thor manages to pick you up and you vaguely hear Tony tell him to take you to med bay. You don’t argue as you close your eyes and let your body succumb to sleep.

When you wake up, you don’t open your eyes, wanting to remain in the land of nothing for a few moments more. You know you’re in med bay by the sounds, the smells, the feel of the bed. You can feel someone in the room, but you don’t have the heart to say anything.

It wasn’t long before you hear the door open and Steve’s voice breaks the silence softly, “how is she?”.

Tony’s voice comes from beside you, “still no change”. He sounded tired.

You hear Steve walk into the room, “he really wants to see her Tony”.

Tony’s voice comes out laced with anger, “and I’ve already said I don’t care. He left her in the middle of the hallway. Just to chase after his arse of a girlfriend while Y/N was injured”.

Steve sighs, you can feel the weight of it on your chest, “I know. He messed up and I’ve already given him a hard time about it-“.

Tony cuts him off, “not hard enough. When we found her Steve at the start, she was in a bad place. I’ve grown closer to her than I expected, and I see her like a daughter and I know you see her as your sister. Now if someone left her in the state that she was in as her father I’d kill that person…she cried Steve”.

You could hear the shock in Steve’s voice. He’s seen you cry a few times but not many, “you never told me that”.

The room is silent for a few moments before Tony speaks again, “what happened Steve? I know she’s in love with Bucky, but I think that was just the cherry on top of the shitty cake life made for her. What happened in the city?”.

Steve sounds tired when he answers, “I don’t know. I pulled some footage from cameras but there wasn’t any sound. They definitely said something to her though…whatever it is we’ll fix it, its what we do”.

Permanent Tags: @glimmering-darling-dolly , @justakpopfan4 , @overlywhelmedfangirl

Dancing Shadows Tags: @imeannooffensebabybut , @wandressfox , @animegirlgeeky , @writing-for-a-chance , @damnbuckyishot

[hoteles5estrellas]

Flights were all on SQ booked on points. It was 425,000 total for round trip for the two of us and about $1400 in total taxes and fees. LAX-NRT Business, NRT-SIN First, SIN-MLE-SIN Business, SIN-NRT-LAX First. I had the first leg LAX-NRT waitlisted in First but it never cleared.

We had 17 nights in hotels, of them 14 nights were paid for by an assortment of Points, Points+Cash, or CC Award Certs. 3 nights we paid cash as we were staying in places that had no award programs. Breakdown and trip report is below.

LAX – Star Alliance Lounge – This lounge was pretty great; it had a roof top patio, tons of comfortable seating and a pretty decent food and drink selection (it even had a noodle bar). Hung out in here for about an hour before going to board.

Singapore Airlines LAX-NRT Business Class – Had the bulkhead first row of business class in the mini cabin on the new version of SQ Business class on the 777-300er. The seat and service was better than any domestic first class and probably quite a few international ones as well. Did a book the cook for one meal and the regular menu for the other, both of which were great and we both ate and drank quite a bit. Service was excellent. The bed was super comfortable and we forced ourselves to get some sleep so we wouldn’t be too jetlagged once we got to Japan.

Andaz Tokyo – King View Room – We had the first 3 Nights in Tokyo here, booked with CC award certs. This is probably one of the nicest hotels I have ever stayed at. It is so well designed, and really is a beautiful hotel. You get whisked up to the 51st floor and get seated and provide your passport and credit card and they checked us in. I have Discoverist status and they upgraded us from a standard King to a view King. Everything can be controlled from the switches next to the bed and it was an amazing view of Tokyo from the room. Service here was excellent, breakfast here was great as well which we ended up having twice. The concierge also assisted with making some tough reservations when I emailed them in advance.

Park Hyatt Tokyo – We did two nights here, one in a standard king room with an CC Award cert, and the other Cash+Points with a Diamond Suite upgrade. While it was a beautiful hotel, after staying at the Andaz I have to admit this was a bit of a letdown for us. The property was just dated and everything looked a bit worn down. The standard room was a bit of a bummer after the Andaz. That being said, you could tell the service was here was just a slight notch higher than at the Andaz, but barely. I was a bit surprised they didn’t just put us in the suite for both nights so we didn’t have to change rooms– they offered to at a cost of $300++, but it just didn’t seem worth it. They did however move our luggage to the suite for us while we were out and about for the day. The suite was quite impressive and enormous, but it still had the dated worn feeling of the rest of the hotel. Service here was top notch, cover charge for the New York bar was waived, but we really only went up there for one drink. Did room service breakfast here one day and it was nice, but didn’t try the main breakfast here.

Gora Kadan – Paid for this one. It is a traditional Ryokan on Hakone complete with Kaiseki dinner and a breakfast, with an in room hot spring bath. Everything here was amazing and very needed relaxation of the hustle and bustle of Tokyo. Since this was one of the three nights of hotels we actually paid for we really splurged on them.

Ritz Carlton Kyoto – 3 Nights here paid with Marriot points. It was supposed to be 210,000 points but after a series of various events we somehow got extremely lucky and in the end we were charged 140,000 points. This hotel was impeccably done; it was just gorgeous. Somehow as we pulled up in a Taxi they knew who we were and whisked us inside in to check-in. Again we were sat down in a lobby area and check in was taken care of and then they took us to the room. I think they upgraded us to a view room here as I am gold and it was our honeymoon. They also had a plate of Pierre Hermes macaroons in the room for us when we came back after the first day out and a little thing that said happy honeymoon. The breakfast here was excellent and so was the late-night wagyu beef burger we had in room service. Location was great as well; we walked around a lot and it was only a few minutes walk to get to the metro. Service here was top notch.

Benesse House Naoshima – This one we had to pay for, there are no award hotels on the island and this property was epic. We stayed in an oval room. The room was kind of basic, but the service great, but bottom line is the architecture can’t be beat. We were also allowed access to the museum after hours which was pretty cool and had a free shuttle to the sites on the Island.

JAL Airlines Economy TAK-HND – We booked this with Avios. I think it was 15,000 total for both of us and about $10 in fees. Just a basic domestic economy seat, seemed to have more space than most domestic US economy and didn’t have to pay for drinks. It was an hour flight and we just wanted to save on the 6 hours on the train it would’ve taken to get back to Tokyo.

Andaz Tokyo – We did another 2 nights here with CC Award certs. We had left 2 bags at the Park Hyatt and only traveled to Kyoto/Naoshima with one suitcase so we wouldn’t have to carry much on the trains. They transferred it over to the Andaz for us for a nominal fee. When we checked in they had put us in another view room upgrade this time on the other side of the tower so we could have a different view; nice touch. Our bags were waiting for us in our room when we got there that evening. We were hungry and wanted some Sushi, and since it was Sunday they said most of the good places were closed but their restaurant on the top floor was open. We went up there and while a bit pricey it did not disappoint. While we didn’t have quite the same selection of the Michelin star sushi we had earlier in the week, the quality of the fish we did have was just as good.

Singapore Airlines NRT-SIN First Class – Wow, just wow. Business class was already an amazing experience and this was just another level, maybe even too much. There were 4 first class seats on the plane and 3 people taking care of us, and 2 first class bathrooms. They knew our names, knew it was our honeymoon, Dom or Krug, huge seat, huge screen. Food was excellent, we didn’t take Pajamas on this leg or try out the bed as it was a daytime flight and we just feasted, drank, and watched movies. They regularly checked on us by name asking if we needed, and would constantly refill our Krug.

Intercontinental Singapore – Heritage King Room that was paid for with points, it was 50,000 IHG points. Although, for some reason a few days after our stay the 50,000 points were refunded to our account, have no idea why. After the previous hotels we had been staying at it was a total let down. But we got in late and were checking out early the next morning. Looking back we should have just booked the Crowne Plaza at the airport for that night. The hotel felt pretty dated even though it had went through a recent renovation and we were put in a heritage room that overlooked the interior of some mall. They did upgrade us to a Deluxe corner room and it was larger than what we had booked and had some honeymoon treats waiting for us in our room. We were glad we were only here one night. Service was ok, but check-in and check-out here took a bit longer that what things were like in Japan.

Marina Bay Sands – Orchid Suite View – This building is just amazing, with the three towers and a pool spanning the top. The place is huge. The suite was awesome and you could see both side of the city from the room with floor to ceiling windows. Great living room area with ample seating and an amazing view. The bathroom had a tub right next to the window and they drew us a bath with rose petals while we were out and well as gave us a honeymoon cake. We also had access to the pool and club 55 which had free breakfast, afternoon tea, and evening drinks and canapes with alcohol and more amazing views. The grounds around the property were also incredible. The interior of the room felt slightly dated but was still great. I don’t think we needed more than two nights in Singapore.

Singapore Changi Airport – First Class Lounge Terminal 2 – After checking in to our SilkAir Business flight went to the lounge, as we entered we had our First Class NRT-SIN boarding pass as well and since we came in less than 48 hours before they escorted us to the First Class lounge. Here we had some great food and quiet time before it was time to board.

SilkAir SIN-MLE Business Class – This was originally a Singapore Airlines flight but it was canceled and moved to their code-share with SilkAir. Seats were kind like a domestic First Class with comfortable recliners and it was just a 4 hour flight so no big deal. The food was not nearly as good as Singapore Airlines business class.

St Regis Maldives Great Lounge and Sea Plane– This was all on points with the initial loading of the property it was loaded at like 32,000 points for a night in an over-water bungalow so it was 96,000 points for 3 nights. We still had to pay for the sea plane transfer and food, but there was no way we would normally be able to afford a property like this. As soon as we got through immigration we were whisked away in a nice van with wifi with a couple other people that were on our flight also staying at the St Regis to their Sea Plan lounge. Very nice small lounge with snacks and drinks and excellent service. We had to wait here for about 90 minutes for our seaplane flight. They took care of all the check-in process here, took our order for a welcome drink and showed us a video intro of our butler. When it was time for the sea plane they took us back to the van and drove us the 30 seconds to the sea plan terminal. All the while they handled our bags. Boarded the seaplane and off we went on a 45 minute flight to the island. The flight flew by and it was nothing but beautiful views.

St Regis Maldives Arrival – There was a light rain as we landed, all the butlers were at the jetty waving and welcoming us in. They had umbrellas out and covered us as we went under the reception area. Our butler introduced herself, gave us our welcome drinks while we waited a moment for our handbags. Someone else whisked our luggage away. Our butler took us to a golf cart and took us straight to our over-water suite. She gave us a quick tour of the island in the golf cart, this only took a few minutes as it is pretty small.

St Regis Over-water Sunrise Suite – Everything was really nice and very well done–the whole suite is controlled by an ipad, TV, shades, blinds, lights, DND, etc. There was a bottle of champagne on ice waiting for us, a bowl of fruit, and all sorts of snacks. It was real nice to relax here after the go go go of Japan and Singapore. There really aren’t words to describe how beautiful the Maldives is. The deck space is expansive with the plunge pool, 4 over-water hammocks, and table to sit at, 2 sun chairs, and a large sun lounger, plenty of options on where to relax in your suite. Of course there were stairs down to go straight into the water. Food on the island was great, but pretty expensive, we probably spent 400-500 a day on food.

St Regis Departure – Initially we were told the last seaplane on our departure day was 230PM, our flight out of Male was 11PM, so we were a bit bummed. Turned out at 230PM they said there was some issue and we would be at the resort until the 5PM plane which was much better. They let us stay in our room until it was time to depart. About 15 min before it was time to leave our butler came to pick us up in the golf cart and take us to reception. This was the first time we had been to reception, just finalized the bill and then got on the golf cart to go the few hundred feet to the jetty. The sea plane was mostly full and only us and one other couple got on here. A quick 45 min flight back to Male and we were greeted with by the St Regis reps who shuttled us back to the great lounge.

St Regis Great Lounge pre departure – As it was only just passed 6PM and we had an 11:30PM flight we were offered 3 options. 1. Relax in the Great Lounge until we needed to check in to the airport. 2. Hop on a boat to Male and they would provide us a free tour of the island. 3. Go to the Male and they would arrange for us dinner reservations. We opted to stay in The Great Lounge, as we were both pretty sweaty after the sea plane flight. There was a shower in the lounge that had all the amenities of the hotel so we freshened up there as we knew we had 30+ hours of travel ahead of us. We were given sandwiches, and non-alcoholic drinks. And after a couple hours it was time to head to the airport. As we walked out of the lounge the St Regis Bentley was waiting for us and we got to ride the 5-10 min to the airport from the seaplane terminal. The St Regis Rep guided us all the way through check in and up to security.

Singapore Airlines MLE-SIN Business Class – This flight was on a 777-200, the business class was angled lie flat seats. We were in the bulkhead and had plenty of space. It was significantly better than the SilkAir flight on the way out to MLE but not nearly as good as the 777-300er. For the 4 hour flight redeye it was fine though. Service was great, and we tried to stay awake for most the flight as we began to adjust ourselves back to PST.

Changi Singapore Airport – We landed and were first off the plane, our bags were interlined from MLE to LAX and we headed to the Private Room. There were a few groups of people making their way in to the lounge and most people were just getting scanned and let in, but as soon as an attendant saw our first class boarding passes they escorted us back to the great lounge through the business and then first class lounge. We didn’t have that much time so we decided to be seated in the restaurant area ordered some great food, unfortunately as it was early the full menu wasn’t available, but what we had was good. When it was time to board an attendant came to us and said our flight was beginning to board and we should head down there. *SIN-NRT Singapore Airlines First Class – At boarding we were greeted and offered Dom or Krug. Also, were offered pajamas and slippers and had our book the cook lobster thermidor confirmed. As soon as we were in the air we changed into our pajamas which were surprisingly comfortable and lounged. When it was lunch time we were still pretty content from eating in the lounge but also wanted to get some rest so we asked to skip some of the courses. Of course they obliged but also seemed genuinely concerned we didn’t want more and wanted to make sure we were happy. Everything was great and the 7 hour leg flew by, and we didn’t end up having them put the bed down on this leg. As we landed and got to gate there was some commotion about VIP something and people were being brought up to the other 2 people in First Class. The door opened and we were motioned to go off first, there was a delegation of people in suits and security with ear pieces in the Jetway obviously wondering who we were and where were the VIPs. Coming in to Tokyo you have to go through security before you can go into the lounge and reboard the plane. We quickly got to security and were told to wait, a few seconds later the VIPs were whisked through all the security and after their whole group and the waiting delegation went through we quickly got through security and went to the ANA Suites lounge.

ANA Suites Lounge NRT – Low key lounge, with excellent service, there was a buffet and some made to order food options. Curry, Ramen, Hamburger, a couple other things, we had the curry which was pretty good. Plenty of drinks to choose from and a nice view of the tarmac. We had about an 90 minutes in here before it was time to re-board.

NRT-LAX Singapore Airlines First Class – Boarded quickly and as we walked on the plane they checked our boarding pass and we were escorted back to our seats and promptly offered more Dom or Krug. More Krug please. It was a new crew from the SIN-NRT leg and they asked us if we wanted another set of PJ’s which we accepted. For this leg we did not book the cook and we had a wagyu steak, and some chicken thing as part of our 5 course meal with satay, lobster or caviar appetizer, salad, soup, dessert and cheese course. We asked that the meal be served as soon as possible as we wanted to sleep and get better adjusted to LA time. Meal service was great, and then we went to change into our PJs, by the time we were done changing our beds were made up. We asked the attendant to wake us up 1030AM PST and we were fast asleep in no time. I have never slept so well on a plane. Sure enough 1030AM PST came along and felt a gentle touch on our shoulder. As we were getting situated they brought over a tray with a Happy Honeymoon Cake, some Singapore Airlines teddy bears, a card signed by all the flight attendants and of course offered more champagne which we turned down. Went to change out of PJs and by the time we were back our beds were made back into seats. The level of service in first class is just absurd. Shortly after landing in LAX and after 33+ hours of traveling we made it home.

This was the trip of a lifetime and made possible to take such an absurd honeymoon thanks to r/churning r/awardtravel r/japantravel among various blogs and forums.

Next up is India fall 2018.

TL:DR Trip of a lifetime.

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