#liam said on his live he was doing the first perf somewhere then rushing to the royal albert hall to do

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Sun 11 April ‘21

Liam is back and in excellent form! I have missed chatty Liam, he is such a chill pleasure to virtually hang out with. He went live to answer questions about his performance and joke around. He trolled fans in his response to a question about collabs- “I’d love to do one with hmm... Niall... and Zayn... and Harry and Louis,” he teased, and joked that “they’re here! Behind this curtain! Haha no… we could have put them in virtually! Probably would have gotten cease and desist letters from their managers…” and considered who would send the first letter. “Zayn,” he giggled, but then added that in fact his next upcoming collab is “with myself, tonight!” (hmm sounds dirty when you put it like THAT Liam!) And about the performance? Liam agreed that it’s very confusing but said he’d make things easier on us by naming virtual Liam; he’s Kelvin. He said he (Liam not Kelvin) has “been away for a while, been having a bit of time” and then immediately added that in fact he’s been rehearsing and working on this performance a lot but that “it’s the only thing I’ve been doing.” He said IDK when is LP2 coming- “when I can get to LA and work” (because he doesn’t like writing on zoom), that he’s currently working on a song for a film but that he can’t tell us anything about it but that it’s with some old friends he’s known since he was 17, they were the first people 1D worked with, that he’d consider making a visual album, “maybe a cartoon or something… maybe even an NFT, who knows!” A man in touch with what the fans want, always (well except for the NFT thing), he fulfilled my wish and demonstrated making faces to program Kelvin, and he shared a picture of his mo-cap feet like SEE they look like TINY SNAKES right? And then asked people to trend tinysnakes and the fans dutifully obliged. Look out you guys, it’s a tiny snake habitat!

And the performances? Well first there was the avatar-only one and I finally understand why he kept saying he’d be anywhere you wanted him in your house, sorry- I think other people got it all along and I just… didn’t… but anyway it’s like a pokemon go thing were tiny Liam Kelvin is just perched on your dirty laundry or table or whatever you point your phone at. ANYWAY, virtual Liam is awkward and weird and not a very good lipsyncer, but real Liam sounds amazing and looks terrific and the contrast only draws more attention to how well Liam holds the space on stage and how good he looked, in particular when they put the avatar and Liam together for the main event. He/ they sang Midnight, and it sounded great and was a big hit besides, the papers loved him as the show opener and were into the gimmick.

Louis’ new friend Sergio Aguero talked about DMing with him on his recent twitch stream (Sergio’s). Being Argentinian he ofc just starts talking to him about mate (the Argentinian tea, not bros, pronounced like mah-tay) which I have to say is dead on brand for every Argentinian I have ever met; you think Louis is serious about his Yorkshire but he’s probably met his beverage obsessed match here! Anyway so Sergio is like do you like mate, and “check out my tea stuff” (and sends him a picture of the traditional gourd and straw drinking apparatus) and Louis is like “idk what that is mate” which is hilarious because what it is… is mate… which is spelled the same… which Sergio tries to explain to his viewers but anyway yeah that’s the tea! Lol. He said that Louis has reached out a while back (but he didn’t know who Louis was until he was like “I was in One Direction”) and invited Sergio to a footie match in Portugal (to play with Louis’ famous people league team we’ve heard about before I bet) but he couldn’t go and they just started chatting now, after Louis messaged again; Louis was in Mexico but they’re gonna hang out when he’s back in the UK, and Sergio will give him some mate! LMAO OF COURSE he will. Louis will absolutely hate it but I would LOVE to see him try to be nice about some unfamiliar bitter herb water served in a gourd that sounds like PURE GOLD tbh.

Anne Marie talked about the Niall teaser pic for their collab. She said she’d wanted to work with him because “I just love his voice and he’s Irish, you know, he’s hot”, lol, and that “ he was just playing guitar, playing piano, and I was like wow you’re actually talented cause you never know who’s actually talented these days” and “we wrote like three songs and they were all brilliant.” Will we ever hear the other two songs?? I mean I’m fine to start with just the one, anytime now, but something to consider...

Falling won an ADG Award, the members of the Art Director’s Guild apparently feeling that Harry’s leaky piano was better than the competition, Taylor Swift’s leaky piano, and the tabloids picked up on twitter chatter about Harry going blond for My Policeman (because the character in the book is blond some people think he will bleach his hair) and then everyone talked about it more because the tabloids said so IT MUST BE TRUE. UM, are you even hearing yourselves? They don’t know shit people this is a feedback loop here.