#like How Deep Is Your Love by Calvin Harris or maybe like Dying For You by Mystery Skulls

[featherymainffins]

4 years ago I heard a song on the radio while working my shift at KFC and it has haunted me ever since and Google thinks the song isn't real and Reddit thinks the song isn't real. This is my existential nightmare.

[furiosophie]

Hellooo

I'm halfway through rereading post·mor·tem for... I don't know how many times already and my friend has already finished it and is dying because of how good it is. The Thranto brainrot is too real, good job, you are one of the best fic writers out there, we will send you the hospital bills.

We were wondering if you listened to any music while writing it or if you have any specific song that helps your inspiration for this ship.

Thank you for writing this, I'm going to pile up some kleenex for when I finish it.

thank u anon, i'm so glad you both like the fic!!!!!

i did listen to music while writing, in fact i can't write anything without music and thus tend to have a playlist for pretty much every one of my fics! here's the one for postmortem:

🪐 post·mor·tem playlist 🪐

yes it's chronological, yes i am aware it's maybe a bit too detailed, and yes if you wanna know exactly which song fits where i left it all under the cut

✨ file 01 // an act of kindness - bastille

tentative friendship

hiding - florence + the machine 

they nearly die and start pinning hard

half alive - amber run

violet city - mansionair 

they slowly realize they are doomed

hardest of hearts - florence + the machine

thanatos (end of us) - j. maya 

thrawn sends eli away

a memory away - matt maeson

✨ file 02 // remind me - bastille

thrawn knows he fucked up but tries to justify it/turn it around

hollow crown - ellie goulding 

state lines - novo amor [resurfaced memories]

two evils - bastille

good day lieutenant vanto and aftermath

mercy - shawn mendes 

make up your mind - florence + the machine

thrawn admits to himself he lost just as he realizes he loves eli

in between - linkin park

they make up but it still all sucks

one last night - vaults

we have it all - pim stones

✨ borika interlude (eli scenes)

eli struggles with thrawn going MIA

saudade, saudade - maro

✨ file 03 // don’t let go (love) - bastille

i.

ezra and thrawn try to survive together

solitude - M83, felsmann + tiley

i know the end - phoebe bridgers

long & lost - florence + the machine

ezra and thrawn scream into the forest

my tears are becoming a sea - M83

thrawn tries to hold on to the thought of eli while captured

the night we met - amber run

they get rescued

blood // water - grandson

ii.

eli is fucking pissed at thrawn

what kind of man - florence + the machine 

blender - 5 seconds of summer

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve - taylor swift

thrawn tries to wrap his head around eli’s anger with the help of mak’ro and broika’s

high water - bishop briggs

the hearse - matt maeson

rescuing thalias and aftermath

love me - wide awake, jacob banks

foreign tongues - crywolf [bathroom scene]

they finally make up

constellations - jade lemac

iii.

they fall into each other's orbit again

war - chance pena

thrawn has to say goodbye to ezra and borika

still - noah kahan

they struggle with their guilt and trauma

daylight - david kushner

final stand

gravitational forces - itg studios

how deep is your love? Mashup - hans zimmer, calvin harris, hozier

they heal and rebuild [thrass grave & tava blossoms]

evergreen - richy mitch & the coal miners

surprise wedding

everything everywhere - noah kahan

they decide to infiltrate the empire again

as it was - hozier

[mooosicaldreamz]

Hello! I just read your track by track of Lover and really enjoyed it - did you do one for Rep? I’d love to read it!

i’m sure i have before but i will again for FUN. 

since i’ve had years now to listen and dissect reputation i’d like to give my overall opinion that this is a concept album about fame that, in the process of its production, became about something very real which i think is why the album has a bit of a sea change from song to song sometimes. anyway

ready for it: this song is a fuckin bomb, can’t wait for her to sing it at the super bowl let’s go taylor let’s go. it reminds me unequivocally of college football bc the first time i heard it was for that and i cried. let’s fucking GO IRISH

endgame: this song bores me. it has a rapper, which is like, what? and ed sheeran which is like……fine. this is what i mean when i say this album is a concept bc this song does not scream taylor swift in the way that i think 1989 before this (a poppy step for a country princess) and lover after this (a country princess realizes she can be whatever she wants to be and not give a shit) are more centrally her creations. which is not to say that these songs are coming from deeply inauthentic places - i think it’s likely that htey are still more authentic than most other pop outfits - but this song is sort of a nothing even when it’s trying to say something

i did something bad: i have never had very deep feelings for this song. but that reeee duh dud duh duh noise is the best and such a fascinating bit of production. what happened sonically on this album, despite the fact that i think it was an intentional and maybe too-far step outside of taylor’s ouevre, is fascinating. she’s so dark. i’m not even sure you realize how dark she is until you compare it directly to lover. 1989 clearly starts to pick up the grey feeling of this album but it isn’t overwhelming. anyway. this album is so interesting

don’t blame me: like i said earlier, this song started out as a concept and this song is a continuation on that theme. for the most part, most of the rest of the album becomes at least one measure more authentic. this song, btw, is so dramatic. the beat drops on some of these are bomb. i love this song on the rep tour video “my name is whatever you decide” just a messy bitch. god

delicate: this song is a crown jewel and i think any pop artist or singer songwriter would kill for this song to be theirs, genuinely. imagine stevie nicks singing this song in 1970. it’s a BEAST, because it’s authentic in a way that the songs preceding it and most of the songs after it are not. i love the beat dropping away on the break down “is it cool that i said all that?” it’s so gentle. i think you can put a lot of sound in a song and not say anything in the end, but if you control yourself and produce something that’s lyrically and sonically compact, you can write a song that hits people where it hurts. “he must like me for me / can’t make any promises now can we babe? / but you can make me a drink” GOD this song is a bomb

look what you made me do: i’m often surprised that this song is not the like, second song on this album, but it’s a mean song. if you watch the music video of this (which i do, constantly, because i love it), she’s so mean in it. she plays a villain in this song that i don’t think she’s really content with. “all i think about is karma / and then the world moves on but one thing’s for sure / maybe you got mine, but you’ll all get yours” is so vindictive and so…….sad. 

…so it goes: this is the outro song on the rep tour video and i think it’s hitting on the same chord delicate hits without digging as deep. i think this song has grown on me a lot. but it’s kind of boring.

gorgeous: i love the lyrics of this song. the first line is a bomb, and the noises of it are so fun and light, and i think this song is one of the combo breakers on this album, like - taylor wanted to make an album about being so famous that you want to just hide away and be alone and feeling so scared that you just have to be loud, and the album suddenly became. not about that. it’s a journey. “you should think about the consequences of you touching my hand in a dark room”

getaway car: rip calvin harris 

king of my heart: this is the best performance of the rep tour movie and it is the thesis of the album it has the wings of fresh love “you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes” my god she should get a poet laureate for that one and it’s sonically big but has this heart that’s so apparent and bold and that synthy voice work on the bridge is such a good palette cleanser before the break to the drums THE DRUMS are the best part of this song. it’s so propulsive and it carries you so well. “your love is a secret that i’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” ugh shut UP. 

dancing with our hands tied: i always thought this song was about karlie kloss and i think it ties a direct line to like, out of the woods. i think those two songs could be pure sequels. i love the big wall of sound on the chorus and the urgency of the verses leading up to that. the minor quality of the tone, too, really makes you feel the dread. “i kissed you as the lights went out / swaying as the room burned down”

dress: this song……..takes me to the shed and kicks my fucking ass. i’ve spent a lot of time thinking of reputation as the soundtrack to stn which i’m sure you’re all tired of me talking about, but this song…………….my god. every inch of it is so different. i’d think it was one of the last ones produced if i had to guess “i’m spilling wine in the bathrub / you kiss my face and we’re both drunk” ugh god. it betrays so much feeling in a dreamy vocal quality and sound - the key repetition on the choral break is just blah BLAH i could cry. “flashback when you met me / buzzcut and my hair bleached.” this song is real in a way that some of these songs don’t have specifics - this one sits in the center of your stomach bc you know it’s real.

this is why we can’t have nice things: in a former life i worked for years at a retail store and i don’t anymore which is why i’m hardly ever here bc i work a real job that exhausts me all the time and the taylor swift reputation album played often and this song grated me and it still does. on the rep tour movie it’s very fun! and i enjoy it! but it feels petty.

call it what you want: this song is very related to king of my heart and so it goes in my mind. but it has connections into lover as well that. “starry eyes sparking up my darkest night” it makes me SO HAPPY that taylor was clearly, towards the end of the 1989 production and then into tour in a bad place and then in a worse place when she started this album and accidentally fell in love and started to feel a precious happiness that i think is all over lover. GOD I M SO HAPPY

new year’s day: this song fucks me up hardcore it’s a stn beast boy and if we could rename the fic i think this song might make a hardcore run to get the title like “i want your midnights” maybe. this song. is so soft. and so real. the evolution and devolution of sound that happens over this album deserves this culmination

[lebilliam]

Hey sirmcartney asked me to do this

I’d rather be doing this over my school ish anyways :’)

Ask me some questions!

3 Fears: Ghosts :((( , fat insects , failing stuff 

3 things I love: i fukin love talking to my friends and hanging out , listening to music that i havent heard in forever, and that post workout glow 

2 turns on: i can send them memes :) , i can laugh and not give a heck with them

2 turns off: i cant send them memes :( , being mean to me (im sensitive af)

My best friend: zoo wee this is a hard one but id prob say logan or brian or adam or morgan or alex. take ur pick. (morgan and logan tbh)

Sexual orientation: str8 

How tall am I: 5′9″ according to my ID

What do I miss right now: intimacy

Favourite color: orange!!!!!

Do I have a crush: ;)

Favourite place: currently ive been digging the imagination room

What am I listening to right now: affection // Cigarettes After Sex

Shoe size: it varies on the brand but normally 9.5 or 10? idk im bad

Eye color: brown

Hair color: black 

Meaning behind my URL: its bc i wanted a recognizable alias that i could use across platforms 

Favourite song: i always say liztomania by phoenix

Favourite band: Maroon 5 fanboy here but ive been a fan of Cigarettes after Sex for a while now

How I feel right now: STRESSED and ANGERY

Someone I love: myself (kinda)

My current relationship status: 

My relationship with my parents: we dont really talk that much but good i think?

Favourite season: oof i like the heat but im gonna say winter bc i get to be emo and i can go walk on fresh snow 

Tattoos and piercing i have: none atm

Tattoos and piercing i want: hmmm idk if i want anything big but i always thought the track shoe/wing thing would be nice

The reasons I joined Tumblr: all my friends had it so i thought i would be cool if i made one

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i have gotten some before and i appreciate them 

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: the last person i texted? surprisingly no

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: depends if i shower but i can get going in ~4-5 minutes

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: nope!

Where am I right now?: imagination room!

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? hell yea who doesnt

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? not atm im chillin #dormlife

Am I excited for anything?: excited for the weekend

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? hell to the yea of course

How often do I wear a fake smile?: everytime i feel weird around people idk usually i wouldnt say i smile that much unless im gooning 

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: I believe that the world will introduce me to people when i need it (lame answer: idk anyone but maybe like my friends’ friends)

What do I think about most? this week it’s been the french essay i had to write but overall i think about being appreciated 

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? id be on both sides if i could but if i had to pick one id totally be in front

What was the last lie I told? oh haha i dont know (but i do know)

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? PHONE CALLS

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Hell yea what else am i supposed to be afraid of. aliens are super cool man of course i think theyre real

Do I believe in magic? NOPE! but theres been some crazy magic tricks where i almost believe but then i see the “how it’s done” video for it

Do I believe in luck? hell yea of course! why would it not exist? 

What’s the weather like right now? ughgh it’s disappointingly hot 

What was the last book I’ve read? Huis Clos by Jean Paul Sartre (i had to read it for class but it really is a great work of art)

Do I have any nicknames? B, Lil B(ones i have heard the most) Billiam, Broletariate Biu (my mom calls me that), (billy bear is an old one and i dont know why they ever used it in the first place), goomph, toad, frog, ugly ass, nerd, dork, dingus

Do I spend money or save it? i spend it haha kms i really need to save more efficiently

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: nope just tried and looked like a fool

Favourite animal? oof i want to say dogs but thats basic but dogs are so loving like i dont get it how do they do it

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: i was up and i was emo. jk i was hanging out and watching bad Freshman xxl cyphers

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Get Low by lil Jon or Faded (the remix) or change your mind by the killers. im gonna go ahead and say that change your mind gets my shit hyped UP

What is my favorite word? satiation

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idk if im going to be honest i dont really use tumblr that much for personal blogs but i do love foodporn, til, ruined childhood

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? love each other. 

Do I have any relatives in jail? i dont think so? oh jk theyre not really a relative but they’re a close family friend’s relative

What is my current desktop picture? FUKIN FUNCTIONAL GROUPS THAT I DONT EVER KNOW OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH THERES A TEST IN 10.25 HOURS

Had sex? ye

Bought condoms? ye

Gotten pregnant? cant really say that i have :p

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

Had job? yep! summer job at the zoo which was cool af

Smoked weed? once or twice 

Smoked cigarettes? never.nope.disgusting

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? i tried being vegetarian for a bit but then i wasnt eating enough red meat

Been overweight? as a kid i feel like i was overly big but now that i think about it i dont think i was fat

Been underweight? definitely

Gotten my heart broken? homeboy who hasnt?

Been to prom? yeep

Been in airplane? yeep

Learned another language? heck yes! english kek and im in the process of learning french. i tried learning lithuanian after a life changing experience. 

Wore make up? surprisingly no

Dyed my hair? nope! i dont want to bleach my hair

Had a surgery? uhhh does laser surgery count? bc ive had 3 so far and i might have more

Met someone famous? every time i walk by a mirror ;) jk i met the senator of WA and the mayor of Tacoma a couple times

Stalked someone on a social network? pfft hell yes

Been fishing? yep! it’s always an experience

Been rejected by a crush? rip me yes

What do I want for birthday? i want to have a nice get together with friends where we do stuff that i dont have to pay for (but i dont think thats how life works anymore)

Do I like my handwriting? I love it in pen and when i hit my ecrivain stride, but otherwise when my hands get sweaty its just a fkin mess 

Where do I want to live when older? i’ve always said paris, but zaragoza spain wouldnt be too bad!

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yea boi

What I’m really bad at: believing in myself 

What my greatest achievments are: i was a smart kid in elementary! i got some awards for getting good grades and i went to a competitive thing for piano once and i placed a couple times in some random races ive run

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: oof i dont want to really relive that experience

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: id ask /r/personalfinance 

What do I like about myself: id like to think im gaining/losing healthy weight

My closest Tumblr friend: on tumblr?? idk i said i dont really use tumblr for friends but i’d probably say memequeen or sirmccartney

Any question you’d like? when am i going to meet up with my RA? no one knows idk i forgot about our meeting and hes really cool about rescheduling so i might do it this saturday

Are you outgoing or shy? it really depends on how im feeling but id like to think im pretty outgoing!

What kind of people are you attracted to? NICE FRIENDly people who can laugh. laughing is important to me

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? personally i think yes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nope!

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? @thoseloverseyes most def

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “haha and then what ;)” jk it says” thank”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? boy oh boy am i not ready for this question. Id think “this love, maroon 5″, humble (its a bop), “the air that i breathe, “open - rhye”, and rollin by calvin harris or this house by japaense breakfast idk the last one always changes

Do you like it when people play with your hair? i had a weird experience once but idk i think im willing to let other people touch my hair? not a fan 

Do you think there is life on other planets?of course. this topic is not up for debate. just bc our defition of life has not been found that does not mean that there is not life in other places where we are either 1) not looking or 2) life that we cant recognize due to our weird weird obsession with water like life does not have to use water as a conduit for essential functions

well that was fun and id say it took some time. it def got me feeling better about life. 7.8/10 i would do it again but im sweaty af from this hot ass room

peace!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 3rd February 2019

This is super late so sorry about that, I’m just not sure if I care about this series that much anymore, honestly. I need something to spice it up and I’ve been doing that with the Featured Songs and such (That won’t be weekly, by the way), but otherwise, I need the charts to shake up and be more interesting because right now I’m tired of covering the same stuff every week.

Top 10

And at number-one for a second week is “7 rings” by Ariana Grande, propelled by streaming and sales bigger than even “thank u, next”, as well as controversy and the video. Still a lousy song, though.

“Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max also stays at the runner-up spot for another week.

Sam Smith and Normani’s “Dancing with a Stranger” is also staying still at number-three.

“Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man is up one space to number-four, switching places with...

“Wow.” by Post Malone, down one spot to number-five.

“Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus stays at number-six.

As I predicted last week, Mabel’s “Don’t Call Me Up” is up four spaces to number-seven, entering the top 10 and becoming Mabel’s second single to do so.

Sadly, this means Post Malone and Swae Lee’s “Sunflower” is down one spot to number-eight.

We now have our second top 10 entry and first new arrival, “MIDDLE CHILD” by J. Cole, debuting at number-nine, mostly because of insane streaming, I imagine. It’s actually become his highest-charting single in both the US and the UK, being his fourth Top 40 here and first ever Top 10. Congratulations, but we’ll talk more about it later.

We have another top 10 entry here as well, with “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi, which is also his first ever top 10, up three spots to #10.

Climbers

Other than the top 10, we don’t have many climbers at all, with the only really notable ones here being “Hello My Love” by Westlife somehow grooving up nine spots to #20, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper perhaps having an awards show boost up five spaces to #26, and “Leave Me Alone” by Flipp Dinero up seven spots to #30 – I loved that song initially and it has only grown on me, let’s make it a hit.

Fallers

There’s not actually that many of these, either, I mean, we have “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande collapsing 14 spaces down to #22 due to the streaming cuts that happen after a song has been very popular for an extended amount of weeks, but other than that we just have the expected hit for “Psych Out!” by AJ Tracey off the debut, down nine positions to #36. The album’s coming out so it’ll rebounded next week, maybe even reach a new peak.

Dropouts

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie is out from #17 due to a streaming cut as well as general Greatest Showman hype dying down, “Ruin My Life” by Zara Larsson is out from #23 (maybe it was that streaming cut, but it didn’t seem like it was eligible for that yet), “imagine” by Ariana Grande is out from #35, “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is out from #38, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out from #39 (and for once it seems like it’ll be STAYING out and not coming back the next week), and finally, “2002” by Anne-Marie is out from #40. There are no returning entries so let’s get straight to the new arrivals, because there’s quite a few.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Nights Like This” – Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign

I still think it’s pretty sad that Kehlani has to duet with men in her love songs to get hits or at least attempts at hits, but at least she’s collaborating with some of the most talented urban sing-rappers. We’re not seeing Kehlani featuring Juice WRLD anytime soon is what I’m saying, and I really loved “Playinwitme” with KYLE last year, it ended up becoming one of my favourite songs of the year, so out of that and only that song and “Done for Me” by Charlie Puth which she also featured on (and was also fantastic, and will make my list of the best hit songs of the year), I have high hopes for Kehlani at least, but I know Ty Dolla $ign only for his beautiful features, so I expect this to be pretty great. This is only Kehlani’s second Top 40 hit but is probably more for Ty Dolla $ign because he racks up features like crazy and I couldn’t be bothered to count ones I remembered (Wikipedia doesn’t list the UK chart placement for some reason). Anyway, enough rambling on, is the song good? Well, yeah, obviously. I love Kehlani’s powerful, albeit nasal and almost childish voice, reminding me of Bebe Rexha on “Girls”. That’s probably the best comparison I can make, with the careless high notes showing a lot of naivety but passion, which is perfect for the subject matter of this song, and its catchy hook, reverb-drowned kicks and skittering trap hi-hats. I love how empty and lowkey everything is, it really adds to the atmosphere, although I feel like it’s somewhat underwritten. Ty, who I’m pretty sure is currently serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession, by the way, has a somewhat underwhelming verse but great harmonies in the hook with Kehlani so, yeah, this is pretty cool. Glad it charted.

#38 – “Swervin” – A Boogie wit da Hoodie featuring 6ix9ine

Oh, come on, I thought we were keeping 6ix9ine in 2018, because he is deservedly jailed for a definite, extended length of time – not for sexual conduct with a minor, but racketeering and fraud is good enough. I do like A Boogie wit da Hoodie though, his album, while bloated, definitely shows his talent and his appeal because he’s a 2000s emo singer who decided to be a SoundCloud trap-rapper in the middle of his career, but hates it. Well, he’s not, obviously, but that’s how he always comes off and it makes a lot of his songs pretty hilarious to listen to, especially when he says something sexually explicit, because he sounds funny with his pathetic falsetto, especially in this song, which is basically a pop song with a 6ix9ine feature... but honestly, I’ve been listening to this song for months, I like it a lot. Boogie isn’t as charismatic as usual, but his melodies here are some of his catchiest and most fun, especially in his verse, where he has a pretty off-kilter flow that almost parallels the polished guitar. Nevermind the chorus, just listen to that snappy refrain... and then hear it get interrupted by 6ix9ine... who is great on the song. He restrains himself from screaming, rather just yelling with great chemistry from Boogie too, as he kind of replicates Boogie’s melody while also dismantles the song entirely, and I like to think that this is a nu-metal song except 6ix9ine is the pedophile version of the Mike Shinoda rap breakdown, and it’s produced by London on tha Track. The outro where Boogie’s vocal is chopped up is great. I’m disappointed to say this is only Boogie’s first top 40 hit (congratulations) and 6ix9ine’s fourth (four too many), but, this is good.

#34 – “Think About Us” – Little Mix featuring Ty Dolla $ign

Little Mix... eh, okay, I don’t like anything they put out. Out of the 23 Top 40 hits the girls have had before this, I’ve liked one. Their 23rd, “Strip” featuring Sharaya J. This is their 24th, and I hope this isn’t as messy, plastic and cluttered as stuff like “Power” and “Woman Like Me”, or as boring as “Touch” or “Hair” (with Sean Paul of all people). Probably won’t be, because Ty Dolla $ign is a perfect human being (who is arrested for 15 years due to cocaine possession), or at least I hope so. I’m pretty sure this is a remix though, which kind of proves that their whole ‘all women!’ motif (that didn’t even end up being true for the album, the lead single was written by Ed Sheeran) didn’t work, sadly, and they need to rely on rappers to get their hits, which is unfortunate but understandable, because they do have to do that, especially right now in pop where women practically don’t exist on the Hot 100 (Yeah, they’re constantly trying to cross over to America again but it’ll NEVER happen). Oh, yeah, this song is awful, but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take it seriously or as a complete joke because this is bloody incompetent to extreme levels, like this isn’t appealingly glitchy like “Strip” or even Ariana Grande’s “imagine”, it’s just a pop song that should have been aborted because clearly someone misplaced the FL Studio stems and put them in random places with cheap Audacity effects. The girls’ vocals are often too isolated, with only that random reverb-drowned drum hit being their accompaniment as well as a few shrill synths and some fake finger-snapping, until the drop which is just... what? Is this Sean Paul again? Sean Paul mumbled into a microphone and they pitched it down, and that’s how we got the messy vocal drop. It’s just an autotuned deep-voiced man saying nonsense words, and somehow they made that off-beat. How incompetent is the producer, sorry, the four producers? Geez! Ty Dolla $ign’s verse is beautiful and criminally misplaced. Please re-use this verse for your album, which will be released in 15 years after your arrest for cocaine possession. I’m just kidding, he’ll get bailed in a couple months at most.

#32 – “Comfortable” – Yungen and Dappy

I’ve been getting REALLY into British rap recently, mostly because I love the accents. I am British myself, so English accents should be something I’m used to, but “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is equally as funny, perhaps unintentionally, as it is a banger. Fredo released an album and I haven’t heard it yet but I’m definitely going to listen to it at some point because he is the most charismatic dude, with some of the weirdest metaphors I think I’ve heard in pop rap. I hope Dave’s releasing something too, I’m going to listen to that AJ Tracey one too, although I do like some of the more underground stuff, who I hope blow up because they have such good material. Check out “Picasso” by Whvsper, it’s such a fun song. Yungen, however, has never impressed me. I don’t like the dudes who sing, I like the guys with straight bars and blunt, catchy delivery, these melodic British rappers just bore me. This is Yungen’s third Top 40 hit, with his first being “Bestie” (one of the worst songs to come out of the UK rap boom of recent years), featuring a vocalist Dappy, who was the lead singer and rapper of London grime duo N-Dubz, who broke up in 2011. I’m just amazed this dude still gets hits, this being his tenth without the other two members of N-Dubz, and his second since he started to take advantage of the UK rap boom. Oh, yeah, this is pretty good, actually, with some... questionable metaphors and an off-kilter yet boring beat that really does not fit with the cloudy synths and such, although Yungen and Dappy ride it incredibly, Yungen in particular having a great flow in the hook. The melody in the intro is pretty catchy, I like his nasal, obnoxiously British voice. It’s a bit too long, though, and I’m not sure if I’m entirely fond of Yungen’s straining emo voice. Putting that aside, this is catchy, and fun, and that’s all I need in this type of UK rap, so, I’m okay with it.

#25 – “Swan Song” – Dua Lipa

No, Dua Lipa is not dying, and this is not her last ever song. This isn’t HER swan song, this is a song titled “Swan Song” from the film Alita: Battle Angel, first announced in 2003 before starting production for more than a decade and a half, being released in 2019 with a trendy pop singer with a little inoffensive ballad. It’s charted because Britain loves soundtracks, and Britain loves Dua Lipa. If you want proof of that, this is her 12th Top 40 hit since 2015. Honestly, I’m pretty impressed by this, though, as it is NOT inoffensive and it is NOT little. It’s minimalism in its most maximalist way, with an attack of hi-hats assaulting our ears in the most beautiful way with only small muted electronics building it up, almost too much at once, with that insane horn riff and some vocal chanting which sounds great. In the pre-chorus, some reversed orchestral strings in accompaniment with a great guitar solo are added and they’re kind of chopped up just for the sake of the epic drop, which is... so weird. It’s just Dua Lipa yelling in autotune, pretty much, and throughout all of this there’s a deep bass that adds so much “oomph” to the whole thing. This sounds like something Bjork would do, and I’m not saying it’s all that artsy, but oddly experimental and just massive-sounding, with Kanye-like vocal effects surrounding Dua in the instrumental bridge, along with a different horn riff and some more chanting. God, I didn’t expect this, and it’s honestly pretty fantastic. I’m impressed by this, but I’m also surprised, and this intrigues me. Where is Dua Lipa going with her next album? Is it going to be weirder? If so, I hope this somehow ends up on it because this is cinematic. This is a fight scene in pop music form, and I hope it succeeds.

#9 – “MIDDLE CHILD” – J. Cole

Oh, and J. Cole exists, I suppose. Well, I like T-Minus’ beat, I suppose. Apparently they paid like $500 for that horn sample, and it was probably a waste of money because you can barely hear it under some yelling vocal samples, bass, and, sigh... J. Cole is so boring in his solo work. I love a lot of his features because he is insane when he goes off on a track, like on “Off Deez” by JID or “a lot” by 21 Savage, but here, he’s exhaustingly boring. Yeah, okay, that bass is pretty hard-hitting, and I like how Cole sounds with that autotune and distortion (honestly I want more of it), but mostly, his oddly-mixed vocals are just re-treading his desperate attempt to be accepted as hip hop’s “middle child” (sorry, “MIDDLE CHILD”) because he likes both mumble-rappers and JAY-Z, I suppose? Who cares, man? Can J. Cole go away for a year? Have your “Off Season” you promised and go back to appearing when nobody expects you to on trap bangers, whilst crafting a concept and project that anyone would actually enjoy. I like Cole, but he tests my patience with underdeveloped tracks like this.

Conclusion

This is one of the odd weeks when choosing Best of the Week is a difficult choice, but I’m going to give it to Dua Lipa for “Swan Song”, with tied Honourable Mentions to A Boogie wit da Hoodie for “Swervin” and Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign for “Nights Like This”. Worst of the Week goes to Little Mix, obviously, for “Think About Us” – that track is borderline unlistenable. See ya next week!