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#like godot all you want but pretending his writing is good and not weird about women is just sooooooooooo nonsense
ot3 · 6 months
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'godot being a misogynist is a translation error' godot being a misogynist is a major plot device that can not be untangled from the overarching narrative of TnT and has nothing to do with any individual lines of dialogue
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write-like-wright · 3 years
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Should you date them: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition
Miles Edgeworth:
depends on what Edgeworth we're talking about
absolutely do NOT date Bratworth
disrespects women
doesn't realise short people have feelings
wears that gaudy af jacket
doesn't want to date you anyways, is in a committed relationship with the law, baby
original trilogy Edgeworth is a bit harder to gauge
very emotionally constipated
generally awkward to be around
expect many unintentional staring contests
simultaneously cocky and insecure
this is the kind of a relationship you enter thinking you can "fix" him
spoiler: you can't
his fashion sense is getting better though
gotta be really buff if he walks up all those stairs to his office
you'd have to compete with a ton of other women and who wants to deal with Wendy Oldbag? scary stuff
he's probably still not all that interested in dating but is also starting to warm up to general human contact lmao
attempt to date at your own risk, though I'd advise against it (maybe casually drop hints you're a Steel Samurai fan? idk)
Chief prosecutor Edgeworth though? HELL YES, BABEY
that man has matured and gotten himself some therapy
can actually recognize human emotions!!
that new coat and the glasses?? mwah chef's kiss
a (childless) DILF
less subtle in his weebdom and who doesn't love a confident man
has lots of cool friends who'd like you
still a bit aloof so have patience
but hell yes, date, hell MARRY him idc
Franziska von Karma
Franzy is a baby but won't ever admit it
somehow even more emotionally constipated than her "little" brother
do you like strong, mean women? me too, bro
if someone is mean to you she will wreck them
absolutely walks up to the counter at McDonald's like "excuse me, you fool, they asked for no pickles"
needs gentle reminders to be polite to people
would call you by your full name all the time and it's probably more than a little weird
boy do I have good news for you if you're into BDSM
pretends not to care - cares a lot
date but also, like, go to couples counselling for a bit
Diego Armando/Godot
Diego is hot and he knows it
very, VERY cocky
like, kind of a douche but his heart is generally in the right place
tries to be macho
expect lots and lots of coffee dates... like, five a day lol
would always have coffee ready for you in the morning... afternoon... evening... 3 am... whenever you'd like it, basically
calls you kitten
calls everyone kitten though
calls Edgeworth kitten kinda hot ngl
probably kinda overprotective
very supportive, though
a bit of a himbo
probably never sleeps
date if you like hot douchey guys basically
Godot really is the ungodly cool guy with a mask
daft punk enthusiast
has many, many weird rules
more douchey than ever
would kill for you
ngl he kinda creeps me out, I wouldn't recommend it
Klavier Gavin
yes, you should date Klavier
not even a question
a literal rock star
such a nice boy
kinda questionable fashion, but he makes it work somehow
eurotrash
be ready to deal with the fangirls
would be worth it in the end
hot af
would write songs for/about you
he's probably the smoothest bitch alive
would take you on trips all the time
he's loaded, expect fancy gifts
probably spends too much time on Instagram, tho
Simon Blackquill
baby Blackquill is 100% boyfriend material
what a nice young man
weeb deep respect for the Japanese culture
honorable intentions
would treat you so well
breaks up with you without an explanation one day and disappears for like, 10 years
AA5 and onwards Blackquill is... an interesting one
listens almost exclusively to traditional Japanese music and My Chemical Romance
probably has a hard time adjusting to life outside
needs lots and lots of therapy
kinda scary at times
would probably need discipline and rules in his day to day life after everything
like, set his bedtime or something
can be a jerk and tease you affectionately
can also be a jerk in general, please tell him off, he's scaring the wendy's drive-through employee
go bird watching with him
I would date him but I understand why you wouldn't
he's hot
Nahyuta Sahdmadhi
gorgeous, dahling
a literal disney prince
tries to impress you with his knowledge of your culture and it's both endearing and embarrassing
what's crackalackin homies = how do you do fellow kids
massive foodie
kinda ranty tho
can go for 8 hours straight
unfortunately, i'm talking about sermons
can be pretty insensitive at times
spends a lot of time with his partnered detective, kinda sus
at the very least date him to steal his haircare products
Barok van Zieks
what a scandalous man
have you seen those curves
more breast and thigh than a bucket of kfc
built like an avenger
very hot
probably unaware of it, though
what are emotions
family man
spends too much on "wine"
you suspect he may be a vampire
incredibly meticulous
condescending
openly racist
like, date him after years of therapy and several racial/cultural sensitivity workshops or something
in the meantime flash him your ankle to test the waters if you're feeling extra saucy
Bonus: Kazuma Asogi
*smacks him* this bad boy can fit so much emotional trauma inside
literally good at everything
stumbles over his words at times, though
hypes you up so much for the lamest of reasons
confident boy
so hot-headed
goes from 0 to 100 and back in a matter of seconds
very honorable
do NOT doubt his ability to get you off or he'll make you choke on it
cute laugh
if you say you wouldn't date him you're lying to yourself and even worse you're lying to me i'm so sorry for looking at your boyfriend ryuu
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TGF Thoughts: 5x10-- And the violence spread.
So, that’s it for season five. I’m still trying to sort out how I feel about the season as a whole and Wackner’s arc. I’m hopeful that writing this will help me decide.
This episode has a Previously, and it’s rather conventional. I’m guessing it’s here to bookend the season, with conveying information being only a secondary objective.  
Did we see Rivi scream, “You’re done, Wacko, you’re done! Canceled! Canceled!” in the last episode or is that new to this previously? I feel like I absolutely would’ve had things to say about a) Wackner being called “Wacko,” which has been RIGHT THERE this whole time, and b) the use of “Canceled,” which is a thing Rivi would never say but is VERY thematic (you know, cancel culture and also Wackner having a TV show and also this being a TV show that’s wrapping up* Wackner’s arc).
* The way things end this episode, I’d say we’re done with Wackner. The Kings have said they aren’t sure about the plan for season six, so never say never, but I think that if we see Wackner again, it will be as part of a different arc.  
I went back to 5x09 and while we do see the same shots of Rivi screaming, whatever he’s saying in 5x09 is in Spanish. So either he was saying this in Spanish or the dialogue here is totally new.  
I’m a little sad that I knew in advance Robert King had directed this episode, because I want to know how long it would’ve taken me to guess. I’d like to think this first shot, of Diane flopping down on her bed in a very pretty floral print dress, then Kurt flopping down in the opposite direction, would’ve given it away. We usually don’t get shots that are both striking and kinda balanced unless RK’s directing.  
This also has some big season three opener vibes—the scene where Diane turns to Kurt and says, “I’m happy,” thus jinxing the entire season.  
Diane and Kurt are about to go on vacation, which means, of course, that Diane and Kurt are definitely not about to go on vacation. I’ve watched 12 seasons of this show; I know all the tricks!  
If I didn’t get it from the initial staging of the opening shot, the camera panning to Diane and Kurt’s suitcases and then back would’ve been another clue that RK directed. He ALWAYS has the camera in motion.  
I love that Diane’s travel outfit is a dress you could wear to a fancy party and a statement necklace. Of course it is.
And if I needed evidence that RK and MK wrote this episode (which I didn’t; it is a finale so I knew they wrote it), Diane quoting Waiting for Godot is a clue there.  
I really should read Waiting for Godot, shouldn’t I?  
“Wow. Educated and a good lay,” Kurt responds. I know that the political stuff between Diane and Kurt can get more than a little murky, but banter like this reminds me why they stay together and why politics never drive them apart. Also, it’s really nice to see Diane and Kurt have some fun banter that isn’t about politics.  
And Diane making kissing noises and asking Kurt to meet her halfway! This just feels like I’m spying on someone’s private life and I love it. Not in a voyeuristic way, since this is actually a little uncomfortably private, but in a, “ah, yes, these do feel like real people” way. This is the kind of “a little goes a long way” character moment I always want more of, and Kings episodes ALWAYS include stuff like this.
And there it is. The phone rings as Diane and Kurt are about to start out for the airport. Diane thinks the call must be for Kurt, but it’s for her. It’s a very flustered Liz, informing her that STR Laurie’s execs are on their way to the office for a surprise visit.
If the Diane/Kurt scene didn’t tell me that Robert King directed, I almost certainly would’ve gotten it from the sudden cut to Liz, walking through the hallways and doing a million things at once with a ton of background noise. No one loves chaos the way Robert King loves chaos.  
This episode STRONGLY reminds me of the Wife season five finale. It is equally chaotic and also spins a ton of plates. But, mostly, the similarity I see between the two episodes is that they are both extremely fun and captivating to watch because of how much momentum they have, but everything just feels slightly hollow and not exactly focused on the thing you want to see.  
(Shout out to my friend Ryan, who messaged me the 5x22 comparison before I could message it to him!)  
I decided I should rewatch the first few minutes of 5x22. I am now 15 minutes into 5x22 of Wife and 2 minutes into 5x10 of Fight. Oops.  
Apparently, STR Laurie planned a surprise visit because they heard RL was dysfunctional. You don’t say!  
I felt like 5x09 concluded with STR Laurie being won over by Allegra and the RL team, so this is a bit of a surprising place to start the episode. But, since Diane seems surprised too, I’ll allow it.  
Now Liz and Diane have 90 minutes to agree on a financial plan! Kurt’s on the phone with the airline before Diane even hangs up with Liz.  
Diane is determined not to lose out on her vacation and asks Kurt to change the flight to 8:00. “Kurt, we are going on this vacation if it kills me!” is a line I would worry was foreshadowing on basically any other show.
The RL/STRL PowerPoint template is pretty ugly. They want to call 2021 their best year yet, thanks to the deal between Rivi and Plum Meadow Farms we saw last week. Even though we saw champagne and signatures, the deal isn’t done yet because Plum Meadow can back out if Rivi goes to jail.
RK also loves close-ups more than any other director on the show; I do not love close-ups.  
The Plum Meadow deal is such a big deal that for the quarter, they go from $45 million to $5 million without it. They should just not say numbers. I can believe it’s big enough to take them from a modest profit to being behind projections or whatever, but I can’t believe that they have $5 million in other business and $40 million on this one deal.  
It seems that Rivi was arrested. I don’t think it is ever said in this episode why. I assume the arrest relates to his behavior in Wackner’s court, since there were police officers there, and I suppose that Rivi is a big enough deal the police would actually take him to real court, but are we not going to address the weirdness of Rivi being arrested in a fake court where his employees are being tried, then taken to a real court by the same people who just an episode ago were disillusioned with real court? This seems like a plot point.
Carmen on a frantic phone call in the backseat of a car feels very 7x22.  
Who is James that Carmen has in her contacts!? And why does everyone always put Liz in their contacts as “Elizabeth Reddick” when everyone calls her Liz?  
Carmen calls Marissa to go argue in Vinetta’s court since she’s on Rivi duty. Carmen doesn’t take Marissa’s job in Wackner’s court seriously and then notes that this instruction is coming straight from Liz, so Marissa falls in line.  
Wackner’s case of the week is about rural Illinois wanting to form its own state separate from Chicago. There’s a farmer who feels like his tax money is only going to the big city and he wants it to stay in his community.  
They’ve just now added stage lighting to the set of Wackner Rules, dunno why they wouldn’t have done that earlier!
I don’t know what standing you’d have to have to bring a case about wanting to divide the state in two to court, or if this is even something a court would or should decide, but, sure, Wackner and Cord, go for it. There are no rules!  
This map splitting Illinois into two new states that Cord is holding is a dumb prop because Galena, where this farmer is from, is in the same section as Chicago. Do I pause every reference to Chicago on this show and then google information to see if the writers bothered to look it up or pretend they’ve ever set foot in Chicago? You know I do.
“Secession!” the audience screams. Does the audience of Wackner Rules really want to see this?
A Good Fight Short! And it really is short: “Stop this obsession with secession and breaking up the Union. It’s boring and it’s dumb, end of song.” I feel like that’s the thesis statement for this episode, or one of them (that this episode seems to have about ten thesis statements is kind of my problem with this episode, tbh). This episode is very much about danger of things becoming too fractured—the COTW, the copycat courts, the firm drama—and I feel like the writers come around to just saying no, this is enough, we need structure and consistency.
But more on that later. MUCH more on that later.
Marissa is swearing more because “the world has required it.” She notes this to Wackner as she calls him out on the secession case. Cord barges in.
Take a look at the employee of the month poster on the back of the door at 5:39. Then at 5:40, look at what’s in the box just to the right of the center of the screen: it’s an employee of the month poster with Wackner on it! Cute easter egg. (Would Marissa definitely notice this and have questions? Yes. Is this here as a cute easter egg for eagle-eyed fans? Almost certainly.)  
“Insane is just one step away from reality if you get people to believe, and you know what makes people believe? TV.” Cord explains when Marissa asks how they can possibly be litigating this case. That’s thesis statements two and three, folks. The first is that if you get people to believe, then anything is possible, which sounds like a tagline for a Disney movie but is actually super dangerous; the second is that reality TV is a way to persuade people and change opinions.  
So we’ve got: (1) Factions are bad. (2) People are persuadable and the rules don’t actually matter. (3) Reality TV changes minds. Let’s see if there are more.
(Yes, these theses do kind of add up to a whole—The rules don’t matter, so if you persuade people, through reality tv, you get factions of people believing their own sets of rules and facts—but what I'm interested in tracking throughout this episode is how well the writers actually bring these theses together.)
(And this is setting aside that key themes in previous episodes, that I think many of us were looking for resolution on, included outlining the flaws with the extant “real” justice system and exploring the role of prison in the justice system. From this episode, I don’t think the writers ever intended to really tackle either of those issues. That’s fine—I'm not sure that TGF has something to say about prison abolition and I don’t want a thought experiment where the writers actually try to fix the legal system—but feels a bit disjointed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but 5x08 and 5x09 needed to do a better, clearer job of setting up this finale. The key themes of Wackner’s arc were always present, but they needed to slowly narrow the scope so the resolution felt inevitable and clear. Instead, we spent time on things like parking spaces (when we could’ve had a real plot about how Wackner’s court gains legitimacy through violence, incarceration, and playing on people’s frustration with the real systems) and Del’s focus groups (when we could’ve instead done a plot about Wackner gaining fans who wanted to use his methods to do ill). Everything I just mentioned in the parentheticals is in the show! It’s not subtext! We see it all! We see Cord use violence and prisons to enforce Wackner’s rulings; we see the cops turn to Wackner out of frustration; we see that the people drawn to Wackner Rules and to Wackner’s court are increasingly sounding more and more like right-wing populists! I can’t be too hard on this arc because, again, all these ideas are there. I’m not coming up with them on my own!)
I’m just saying: this ending would’ve been a lot clearer and a lot more interesting had the writers focused on what I mentioned above instead of the distractions of the last two episodes.  
Whew, that was a ramble. Hope you’re ready for more rambles.
On a similar note, I’d like to reiterate my problems with how the writers used Marissa after the private prison reveal. I don’t have much more to say than what I wrote last week, but it’s another example of the same problem. Marissa objecting to Wackner’s court because she notices what it’s becoming and how Cord plans to use it for political gain (two Illinoises (??) changes the Senate and the Electoral College...) always was going to be part of the endgame. Marissa only seriously objecting after the fourth or fifth line Wackner crosses feels bizarre.  
Cord does NOT like that there is another court, and wants to protect Wackner’s IP. Wackner, as we saw last episode, does not feel threatened by the other court. In fact, he seems to be excited by it.  
I love Liz questioning Diane’s outfit like it’s unprofessional. It’s a little low-cut and showy, but I don’t think unprofessional is the word I’d use for it.  
Now they have 45 minutes to decide The Future Of The Firm and Diane wants to be considered a name partner. Oh, that debate is still raging?! Every time I think it’s done it comes back, which should probably be a sign to Diane that her options are to leave and start something new, jettison Madeline and the others, or step down. Staying on as name partner and calling it a black firm is just not an option.  
“Diane, there is a split in the firm that...” Liz starts, before asking some associates to leave the room. Ha! The reveal Liz and Diane aren’t alone is a pretty fun touch.
“The Black equity partners don’t want to be in your work group,” Liz informs Diane. “Because they think they’ll be punished by this firm?” Diane asks. “No, that’s paranoia. We don’t punish here,” Liz responds. “Of course you do. My fracking client. My union client. The Black lawyers who work on those cases—they're considered traitors” Diane says. “Because those CEOs are racists,” Liz counters.
Lots going on here, and I’m not sure I understand it all. Why would the equity partners—who are partners—feel like they’re being punished by being in Diane’s work group? (And also what does a “work group” mean and why haven’t they talked about it in the past?) When Diane starts talking about the lawyers who staff her clients, she’s not talking about equity partners; she is talking about associates.
And people are giving associates shit for working on Diane’s clients whom they happen to be staffed on!? That’s sad, though believable.
“So what do we do? Only bring in clients who can pass the racial smell test?” Diane asks. I mean, actually, yes. IF the goal is to be a black firm and to have that designation mean something in moral terms rather than marketing terms, then yes.  
“It’s okay if you’re a drug kingpin like Rivi, but it’s not okay if you want me as lead attorney?” Diane says. Also, yes. Diane makes good points here.  
“Diane, this is not about you,” Liz counters. Um, sure, but it has to be about something, Liz. Unless you’re trying to build a firm you don’t control that makes 88% of its revenue from a drug dealer (40 million out of 45 million this quarter = 88%; I told you they shouldn’t give me numbers) but happens to have black people in charge, you have to grapple with this question. I don’t think anyone who’s fighting for the firm to be a black-led (not owned, bc STRL) business is the type of person who thinks that having a black-led firm that does all the same shit as any other firm is in itself a good thing, so you NEED to address your client list. Madeline is anti-Rivi, anti-Cord, anti-Wolfe-Coleman (the rapist guy), pro-social justice, and pro having a black led firm.  
“I mean, why... why do white people personalize this?” Liz asks. “Oh, now I’m just a white person?” Diane responds. I... don’t know what to do with this! Liz is right that Diane is taking this personally; Diane is right that Liz needs to deal with the rest of the client list. But no one is saying the things that REALLY need to be said: That all their decisions are meaningless in the shadow of STRL, and that deciding to be a black led firm isn’t the end of the discussion if they haven’t decided what types of clients they want to have.  
“What happened, Liz? Last year we were intent on an all-female-run law firm,” Diane starts. Oh, THIS AGAIN! Diane never learns, does she? She never seems to realize that no one she’s approached with this idea is NEARLY as in love with it as she is. She probably still wonders to herself why Alicia—who partnered with her at the end of season seven basically just because it was the easiest, most frictionless thing to do—didn't seem more committed to their firm.  
“Diane, there is history here that we are trying to...” Liz says, but Diane cuts in to note that women (women like Diane Lockhart!) have history too! In fact, she’s spent “35 years fighting gender discrimination to get to this position.” “And we have spent 400 years fighting racial discrimination to try and, you know...” Liz starts, before cutting herself off to get back to the ticking clock.
Sigh. Just talk about the actual thing instead of talking around the thing, guys. Diane is obviously deserving of A name partnership, in the abstract. This is an undeniable fact. And while Diane is definitely making this about herself rather than the big picture, I don’t think Liz trying to trump Diane’s 35 year career with the history of black people is going to win her any arguments? Like, just say what you mean and say it clearly. What Liz, I think, wants to express is that Diane’s individual accomplishments aren’t the issue here and everyone thinks she’s deserving (though Liz suggested Diane was not deserving a few episodes ago, which I didn’t understand then and don’t understand now). The problem is that Diane is trying to fight a battle that’s about something much larger than herself with, “but I'm a good lawyer!”  
And that’s KIND OF what Liz is saying here, if I add all her sentences up and read between the lines, but, again, why not just say it?  
“Alright, now we have 43 minutes to fix race relations, gender relations. STR Laurie’s gonna fire our asses, and you know it,” Liz says. I am curious what that would look like. Wouldn’t that just mean that STRL wouldn’t control them anymore? I’m sure being fired would be bad and all, but wouldn’t it free them from the contract they wanted out of last year?  
“Let’s split the firm down the middle. I hire half the lawyers, you hire the other half,” Diane suggests. What does this mean? Why are you hiring your employees? Huh?
“You hire the white associates, and I hire the black associates?” Liz confirms. This seems like a very bad idea that would make things a lot worse and open them up to lawsuits! I also still do not know what they’re even talking about. And I don’t know why Allegra isn’t a part of this conversation.
“I’m not saying it’s good. I’m just saying it’s what we’re left with. It's what we can agree on,” Diane says. I really wish I understood what “hire” meant in this context because I don’t understand why they have to split anything or why this has to be done now and I don’t understand why this would possibly be a good solution. Can you imagine the backlash when people realize all the white people report to Diane and all the black people to Liz and that people were taken off of the accounts they’ve worked on for years to accomplish this? And this must be something that the employees would know about eventually; otherwise they could just randomly assign half to Liz and half to Diane.  
I’m sad Madeline isn’t in this episode because I feel like we needed to see more of her POV as well as the associate POV. I don’t really understand the divides at play within the firm or what the staff and other partners are asking for, but I suspect it isn’t this.
Hallucination Jesus is back, and at least there’s actually a point to him this time (he shows up when Jay is in Vinetta’s court and reminds Jay that Vinetta will rule based on her religious beliefs). I still dislike the hallucinations.
Jay advises Marissa, who is Jewish, to talk a lot about Jesus in her defense.  
Charmaine Bingwa is really great as Carmen, and obviously she is not fluent in Spanish, but it’s so funny to me that the only time you can hear that she’s Australian is when she’s trying to say Oscar like she’s speaking Spanish.  
"I know you’re hiding something when you speak English,” Rivi says to Carmen. Heh.  
“Community court” is such a nice, unthreatening term for referring to Wackner and his copy cats. Thanks for that, Carmen!
It’s a smart plan to mention Jesus a lot, I guess, but Jay and Marissa both should’ve realized that Vinetta is too smart to tolerate obvious pandering. I’m a little surprised Jay doesn’t get up and argue since Marissa is, obviously, not familiar with the New Testament.  
Marissa wins this round with facts and logic.
Why is the judge who was handling Rivi’s previous charge now in bond court? Make it make sense.
I like that Carmen calls out the ASA for swearing hahaha  
Why... would this Matteo kid just casually mention he was holding a gun, omg.  
In Vinetta’s court, you can be charged with murder and tried because... you had a gun and also there were murders at other times. Coolcoolcool no problems here.
Community courts for civil cases? Sure. That’s basically arbitration. Community courts for criminal cases? Bad, bad, bad idea.  
Vinetta’s reasoning: “Those murders happened on our street, and the police haven’t convicted anyone because they don’t care. We care. This is self-defense. And how is it different from your court?” Aside from the whole imprisoning people in her basement thing, Vinetta’s not wrong. I almost brought this up last week but hesitated because I couldn’t remember the details enough to decide if I wanted to recommend it, but there’s a book I read a few years ago that seems relevant here: Ghettoside by Jill Leovy. Again, been a while so don’t take this as a wholehearted endorsement or anything, but from what I remember, the central issue at the heart of the book (it’s non-fiction) is that a poor black community (I think in LA?) doesn’t trust the police (in part) because the police don’t solve murders, and then with no way of getting justice through the court system, there’s more violence as a stand-in for justice. https://www.vox.com/2016/8/26/12631962/ghettoside-jill-leovy-black-crime
I’m not sure if that’s QUITE what Vinetta is saying but it seems similar, and it’s a decent point (though not a justification for her court). Why should she trust the system to improve her community when it’s ignored her community for years?
I like that the writers chose two very different, very understandable characters for their community courts. It’s easy to see why Wackner and Vinetta feel the need for alternative courts; it’s easy to see why others would trust them. This arc doesn’t really work unless there’s a legitimate frustration with existing systems...  
Marissa calls Wackner’s court a “joke,” which she should understand by now isn’t the case. (Marissa’s smart; she knew it wasn’t a joke the second she saw David Cord get involved.)  
Vinetta accuses Wackner of copying her court, which alarms Marissa. This isn’t addressed again, and I don’t know if it’s true! I could really go either way on this. On the one hand, I absolutely believe that Wackner saw/heard about it, liked it, and did it himself without thinking much of it—and if this is the case, then the ending where Vinetta gets in trouble for violating Wackner’s IP is a lot more of a gut punch. On the other hand, I don’t really feel like the seeds for this were planted. We see Wackner innovate a lot and try new things and he has an explanation for why he does everything—how much of that is Vinetta? And Vinetta clearly watches the show and likes it or she wouldn’t have recognized Marissa, so it’s a little hard for me to just believe her claim when literally all I know about her is she has a court that looks like Wackner’s and she is aware of and feels positively towards Wackner rules. Also, Wackner knows about Vinetta’s court (from Marissa) and sounded excited about it last episode. Sure, he didn’t necessarily know which one it was, exactly, but I assume if he’d copied the idea and then heard about a case involving people from the exact same community where he found the idea... his reaction would be different. So IDK. My reasons for doubting Vinetta’s claim are probably based a little too much in things I’m not meant to spend that much time paying attention to.  
“I fucked up. It’s in the same court, but now it’s a murder case,” Marissa tells Diane. I do like hearing characters admit when they fucked up!  
Diane hears that STRL is delayed, so she heads out to help Matteo. When she goes to change into her pantsuit, she finds that she’s grabbed Kurt’s bag by mistake. “Of course. That makes sense,” she reacts.  
Diane pushes her flight to the next day, also telling Kurt, “And yes, for some reason, I took your suit instead of mine, so fuck it.” I love it when the characters feel like real people.  
I am not sure why Kurt is getting to the office when Diane is leaving or why Kurt is there—to pick Diane up on the way to the airport, maybe?
Carter Schmidt walks into RL at the worst possible time, threating to blow up the Plum Meadow deal. Another 5x10 to Wife 5x22 similarity: he’s in both episodes.  
Liz heads out to help Carmen with Rivi, and then STRL arrives. Oops.  
Credits!
One thing about Wackner’s court that should definitely be a warning sign even though it seems noble: he ignores just about every warning sign, like this rowdy crowd screaming WE LOVE YOU WACKNER or the potential interests at play in a case about secession, because he thinks his fair judgement can overcome these obstacles. If the world worked that way, there’d be no need for his court in the first place.
Is anyone representing the State of Illinois in this trial? If not, then... how is it happening?  
Dr. Goat, some dude who claims to have some hidden historical document about how Illinois is actually two states, is clearly making stuff up and yet Wackner indulges him and Cord. I feel about this the same way as I feel about the Devil’s Advocate: That Wackner would not allow this to go on for more than five seconds before calling bullshit and therefore there is no reason I should have to sit through it.
Why is some guy screaming, “No taxation without representation” like dude you absolutely have representation. But of course, I’m expecting him to be logical, and the point is that he is not.
Dr. Goat’s Latin phrases—shock!-- don’t actually translate into anything like what he said. Even though this information is verifiable by a quick google search, the crowd starts screaming “Liar!!!!” at Marissa. If only I could say this felt unrealistic.
Wackner asks Dr. Goat to bring in the document.  
“You look like you’re heading to the beach,” Vinetta says to Diane, who looks like she’s heading somewhere but definitely not to the beach. Vinetta asks where Diane was headed on vacation. Diane says she’s headed to Lake Como, and unnecessarily clarifies that “It’s in Italy.” She assumes Vinetta doesn’t know that... but Vinetta does.
“So you’ve been there before?” Vinetta probes when Diane says it’s beautiful there. “Just once. We don’t get away often. We thought we’d splurge,” Diane says. Vinetta stares at her and smiles, and Diane hits her head on a basket that’s hanging in Vinetta’s kitchen. If I just write out the dialogue here, it sounds like a perfectly average conversation, but everything about this conversation is so charged: Diane is afraid to look like a wealthy white woman; Vinetta’s pleasantness is pretty clearly also a way of sizing up Diane.  
Vinetta shows Diane pictures of neighborhood children and young adults killed as a consequence of gang violence. You can see she’s not trying to do anything other than help her community, even if her methods are highly questionable.
Diane argues that Matteo should be given over to the police; Vinetta disagrees: “The police haven’t arrested anyone for those murders, any of these. Since the BLM movement, they’ve pulled back from our streets. No one’s coming to help. That’s why I started this court. It’s not a joke to us.” Wait I’m sorry did Vinetta just blame lack of good detective work in black communities on... the BLM movement?!?!?! Is there any foundation to this!? Why can’t it just be that the police weren’t actually doing a good job of policing/finding justice and were being antagonistic towards the community instead of being helpful and no one trusted them?? That explanation is literally right there.
Jay suggests the Jesus strategy, again.  
“It’s women! We could just move on, install men,” STRL guy says. I don’t know if he’s joking, but ugh. Also, what is RL if it has neither Diane nor Liz? A bunch of lawyers who will all promptly quit when they see their bosses get fired and a few opportunists?  
Kurt is watching golf in Diane’s office, and the STRL people love it. Of course Kurt accidentally makes friends with them.  
Court stuff happens. It’s not good for Rivi, and then Liz and Carmen come up with a theory: Plum Meadow is stalling the deal so they can find Rivi’s more stable second and make a deal with them instead.  
Wackner giving Dr. Goat a single point on his stupid little board, for any reason related to his obviously fake totally unverified document, is dangerous. Why would you signal to a crowd that’s clearly not interested in fact that they have a point? That’s basically egging them on.
I know Wackner’s judgment is obviously not 100% sound—need I remind you of the PRIVATE PRISONS?-- but I thought it was more sound than this.  
Wackner shows off his knowledge of paper and proves that Dr. Goat’s document is a fake. Why... did he just give Dr. Goat a point???  
Or is he moving the point from Dr. Goat to Marissa?  
Dr. Goat sounds like a fake name I would call a character in my recaps long past the point of anyone other than myself remembering the joke. (See: Mr. Elk)
“The truth is ugly. The only thing uglier is not pursuing it,” Wackner tells Marissa. How is taking on a case about very obvious falsehoods, funded by someone with a vested interest in the case, that gets people riled up, some noble pursuit of truth?  
STRL and Kurt are now drinking and discussing hunting, while Diane’s arguing for Matteo in Vinetta’s living room. Vinetta is—as was always obvious, sorry Jay—far too smart to fall for this patronizing bullshit. She screams at Diane and plays back a recording (on a baby monitor) of Diane coaching Matteo to lie about his faith.
Soooooo yeah no you can’t do that, that is bad, recording conversations between lawyers and their clients is not good even if it leads to you exposing their schemes...
Then Vinetta places Diane under arrest, which obviously isn’t going to end well for Vinetta.  
Liz and Carmen suggest a post-nup to Rivi to see if Isabel is planning on turning on him.
“I’m going to have to kill her,” Rivi says sadly. I don’t think Rivi will ever kill Isabel because we already did that with Bishop.  
I’m going to assume that Diane chooses to stay in basement prison instead of calling one of the many, MANY, MANY people she could call to get her out/take down Vinetta because she doesn’t want the situation to be publicized or further deteriorate. That said, it’s really not clear why Diane just accepts being sentenced to basement prison with a cell phone.  
Love the STRL man looking at that picture of Diane and HRC. They’ve gotten so much mileage out of that photo.  
Wackner’s court has no rules, but at least since it has no rules, I can’t complain about how its rules make no sense!  
What is this, debate practice?! Ugggghhhhh I can’t deal with this case for much longer.  
Marissa takes a breath, then decides to pursue a strategy she knows could blow everything up.
“Then why care what Judge Wackner decides? Why should you defer to him? Why defer to anyone?” Cord says that’s the point—the people have decided to trust Wackner. “So if you don’t like this court’s decision, you’ll just start a new one?” Marissa asks. “I guess,” Cord concedes.  
“So then why does this matter? This court?” “It matters only insofar as we continue to agree that it matters,” Cord says. “So if you don’t like Judge Wackner’s rulings, you can just ignore them and create a new court?”
Good point, Marissa. Good point. (Does this count as a thesis?)
“I’m guessing that I will like the way the judge decides,” Cord says. Well, that’s basically a threat.
Wackner takes a break and heads to chambers—without Marissa.  
Kurt goes to visit Diane in basement jail. He’s granted a conjugal visit, which means Matteo gets moved up to the bedroom so Diane and Kurt can have some alone time.
Diane is staring at an image of Lake Como in her cell. I thought it was odd she brought a printout of her vacation destination with her, so I LOVED the line where she explains that Vinetta printed it out for her. COLD. (You know who also would’ve done this if they’d for some reason had a basement prison? Bree Van de Kamp. You know what show DID do a basement prison arc I’d rather forget? Desperate Housewives!)  
I love how Diane responds to basement prison by making jokes non-stop.
“I thought the craziness would end with 2020,” Diane says. Nope.
Kurt brought alcohol; Diane brought pot gummies.  
I love that Kurt has never had pot before. I was going to say that I bet Diane’s had a few experiences with recreational drugs when I remembered we had a whole damn season of Diane microdosing.  
Christine and Gary’s acting and their chemistry really bring these basement prison scenes to life. The writing and directing are really sharp, but it’s the actors who make these scenes something special. You can tell Diane and Kurt love each other a lot. You can tell they’re disappointed about their vacation and exhausted by the chaos of the day. You can tell they’re in disbelief over this situation but also find it funny.  
Didn’t Rivi and Isabel have an adult daughter who died of COVID a few episodes ago? Weird she isn’t mentioned in this scene. Maybe from a different marriage/relationship?
Isabel called the SA’s office because she thinks Rivi’s a threat? I think this is a power play.
Heh, Carmen saying, “Shut a black woman up!?” in disbelief in court. Love it.  
Isabel instead flips her story and supports her husband and fights for his release. With no intervention from Plum Meadow, this gets the judge to free Rivi. I don’t really understand what’s happened here or why. I get the resolution, but I don’t get why Isabel called the SA or why this went away so quickly. I still don’t even get why Rivi’s been arrested.
Diane and Kurt put up Christmas lights for ambiance and talk about how they never go on vacation.
“I wanna see the pyramids on this coast!” drunk & high Kurt insists, hilariously. “I mean hemisphere. I like the Aztecs. They, they care about people.” I’m not going to transcribe the rest of the dialogue because it loses its magic when you’re not watching the scene.  
After some fun banter about travel and movies, Diane changes the topic. “I should quit, shouldn’t I? That judge upstairs? She looked at me like I was the most entitled white bitch on the planet. And that’s the way they look at me at work.”
Kurt tries to say that’s not true, but Diane knows it is: “Yes they do. I’m the top Karen. And why do I care? I mean, I... I could find another firm. I could quit. I can’t impose my will on people who don’t want me.”
YES. I see a lot of debate over what the “right” thing to do is here. But I think we are long past “right” and “wrong.” At a certain point, this stops being about absolute moral truths. If Diane doesn’t have the respect of her partners and employees, that is a very real problem for the firm and for Diane. How can she continue to impose her will on a firm that doesn’t want her, all the while claiming to be an ally? (The back half of that sentence is the most important part.) Forget whether or not Diane “should” have to step down. Forget what’s “fair.” If the non-Diane leadership of RL thinks the firm should be a black firm, and the employees of RL think so too, and Diane just doubles down on her white feminism, she’s creating an even bigger problem for herself and ruining her reputation in the process.  
Kurt stands up on the prison cot and warns Diane she might make a decision she’ll regret. This scene is so cute. Why can’t other shows do drug trips where the characters just act silly and have great chemistry? Why does it always have to be some profound meditation on death whenever characters get high?
“I think I like starting over. I like the chutes and ladders of life. I mean, I want the corner office, but then I wanna slip back to the beginning and fight for the corner office. I mean, I think maybe it’s better that I don’t get the top spot,” Diane says. LOVE to hear her admit this. I’m not sure I would’ve come to this conclusion on my own, and it sounds like it’s a bit more about how the writers like to write (you know, the “we love our characters to always be underdogs”) than Diane, but... you know what? I believe it. I fully believe it. Diane LOVES to fight, LOVES to feel like she’s in the right, LOVES power plays and to be making progress. She LOVES winning. The fact that she isn’t just choosing to retire right now, even though she’s past retirement age and has a great reputation, is in itself enough for me to believe that she would find it fun to repeatedly start over.
Plus, it’s a fun new direction for the show to take in season six, because they’ll get the same sense of conflict without the actual conflict. This season’s arc was firm drama and resulted in a firm name change... but it didn’t feel like a knock-off of Hitting the Fan. Diane trying to work her way back into power (I assume by becoming a better actual ally, otherwise doesn’t she just end up in the same exact situation?) should also provide conflict without being repetitive.
Hahahahahaha Kurt immediately reacting to this serious statement by being incredibly silly and horny and then Diane singing “I Touch Myself” to him, man, I love these two. I want to know the story behind this song choice.
Wackner emerges from his chambers. The score is tied. Wackner calls Cord corrupt and notes that they can’t just decide to call Downstate Illinois a new state based on his ruling. Now it’s thesis time!
“I was taken by Mr. Cord’s arguments of individualism. So much of our country has been built on people finding their own way, not being held back by bureaucracy. Yet, if we only follow individualism, that way lies chaos. And that was not the point of this court. Or at least not my point. Judgment for the defense. There will be no Downstate Illinois.”
“If we only follow individualism, that way lies chaos.” is probably the clearest of the many theses of this episode. To recap, we have:
(1) Factions are bad. (2) People are persuadable and the rules don’t actually matter. (3) Reality TV changes minds. (4) Institutions only exist when we collectively agree they exist (5) Individualism = chaos.  
But let’s put a pin in this for now and let the chaos of individualism play out.  
The crowd does not like Wackner’s decision, and decides that an appropriate way to express their displeasure is to make anti-Semitic remarks towards Marissa and then start throwing chairs. What nice people.  
As the crowd goes totally 1/6 on Wackner’s court (thanks for pointing this out to me, Ryan—I cannot believe I didn’t make the connection myself!), the door slamming into the desk finally pays off since Marissa and Wackner are able to use it to keep the crowd from reaching them.  
They immediately turn to the police, or they would, if they could get service. I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that as soon as things get bad, they want to involve the existing system.  
Wackner Rules is, somehow, still taping in the midst of all the chaos. I don’t know if I think they’d air this, but someone certainly would. (I wonder if any of the cameras we see in these scenes are actually the cameras filming the other angles of the riot.)  
Cord shakes his head and walks out, unharmed.  
“You think they’ll kill us?” “I think they might,” Marissa and Wackner fret.  
“My dad said the whole world would be a better place if everybody realized they were in the minority. ‘No matter where you are,’ he said, ‘Make sure you keep an eye on the exits, and make sure you’re closer to the exit than the Cossacks are to the entrance.’” Marissa says. Love Eli Gold coming through with thesis number 6 (and maybe thesis number 7).  
“Your dad sounds a little paranoid,” Wackner says, correctly. Remember how I mentioned I accidentally wound up watching 5x22? Eli calls Alicia and responds to her hello with, “DISASTER!!!!” I miss him.
“He was, but he wasn’t wrong. He said, ‘Stay away from parades. They’re cute until they’re not. And don’t trust any pope who was Hitler Youth.” “What’s that law called?” “Godwin’s Law. My dad said anybody who argued for Godwin’s Law has never been near an actual crowd. Crowds love you, they hug you. Then they grab a gun and try to kill you.”
“Why? Why do they do that?” “I don’t know. Hate is fun. It’s clear-cut.”  
I really like all of this. It is a little preachy, but it isn’t wrong and it’s self-aware. And, more importantly, it’s in character. I absolutely believe that Marissa would tell lots of stories about Eli in a moment of extreme stress. It’s nostalgic, probably comforting, and it also helps her feel like she’s on the right side with the right arguments. So, even backed into a corner, she’s still a winner: she has theory on her side.  
Wackner speaks a foreign language (I do not know what language but I wish I did) and says, “A guy could get killed doing this,” which makes him and Marissa laugh as things crash around them.
Idk about you all, but I couldn’t really get myself to actually worry about their safety during this scene. Maybe Wackner’s, just a little, but I got the sense we were supposed to focus more on the chaos and destruction and monologuing than on the actual danger. That’s not to say the stakes didn’t feel high, but rather to say that this didn’t feel like an action sequence where you don’t know what’s going to happen next. The point was to watch the court fall and think about why it fell, not to worry about if Marissa would live.  
Diane and Kurt are woken up by sirens and loud noises. The cops arrive and are shocked to find professionally dressed white people in a basement cell. They let Diane and Kurt out with compassion, but scream, “don’t you fucking move” to the people on the floor.
“It’s okay, they didn’t do anything,” Diane says. This is, as I theorized earlier, probably why Diane just sits there until her punishment blows over instead of escalating things.  
If the cops weren’t there to free Diane, why were they there? Why, because they like David Cord and David Cord has gotten Chicago PD officers to protect Wackner’s IP.  
If I had to say one thing in favor of Vinetta being the originator of the community court idea, it would be that it’s SUCH a gut punch to watch Diane and Kurt walk away from their bizarre little adventure as Vinetta gets arrested in the background, and it hits ten times as hard if Vinetta’s only being charged because some white guy is claiming IP that’s actually hers.
(I think Vinetta is probably, at this point, actually being arrested for imprisoning people illegally, but, still.)
“Pfft. Some judge,” one of the cops who adores Wackner says of Vinetta. Racist much?  
Marissa and Wackner emerge from the backroom. “I think I better get back to work,” she says, meaning her RL job. "Me too,” Wackner says, grabbing a Copy Coop apron. He’s an employee of ten years.  
I don’t think this lands as well as it’s meant to. I think the point is supposed to be that Wackner’s just some guy—not a billionaire, not an academic, not a judge, not a lawyer—with an idea. But it’s a little too neat. And it doesn’t explain how Wackner financed his court initially, nor does it explain why he has basically unlimited access to Copy Coop space and resources. I’d buy it if he were the OWNER of Copy Coop, but I have so many questions about him being an employee.  
Diane tells Liz she’s actually going on vacation this time, and they laugh about how Kurt bonded with STRL.
“I want you and Allegra to be name partners. I’ll be an equity partner,” Diane says. “Why?” Liz asks. “Five years ago, when I hit rock bottom, this firm took me in. So I don’t like the idea of splitting this firm in two. And I can’t lead if no one will follow.” “And your clients?” “We’ll manage them together.” YES! I love this. I don’t love it because I necessarily think it had to go this way, but because it’s so refreshing to see Diane say that she actually is willing to take a step back because she cares about the firm and the people there more than she cares about being a name partner. This isn’t something we usually see. When we hear “this firm took x in” it’s usually being said incredulously against someone who’s decided to leave and steal clients (cough, Hitting the Fan, cough).  
It’s been pretty clear for most of this arc that Diane and Liz like working together and they like their firm, but that no one (other than Diane, I guess) is willing to let RL lose its status as a black firm, and that the employees and equity partners weren’t going to be satisfied until Diane stepped down. Diane really had three options: Stay and piss everyone off and claim the whole firm for herself, quit and go somewhere else and totally abandon the good working dynamic she had, or step down and put her money where her mouth is.  
Also yeah the clients were never actually going to be an issue! They were only an issue because Diane intentionally went about informing them she was stepping down in a way she knew would make them worry!  
“I think I need to prove myself,” Diane says. I’m not sure that’s the key issue or that she can ever prove herself fully, but we’ll worry about that next year.
“I missed you,” Liz says. “I’m here,” Diane replies. “I know. Thank you,” Liz says.  
Diane decides she’s going to move downstairs so Allegra can have her office. I think there’s another office on this floor, since she, Adrian and Liz all had offices. This feels a little bit like Diane’s in love with the idea of making things difficult for herself and maybe hasn’t fully grasped the point, but, you know, I’ll take it.  
Diane tells Kurt her decision and he asks if it was the right thing to do. She says she doesn’t know—but she says it with a smile. Kurt notes he’s going hunting next month with the STRL folks and will put in a good word for her. Ah, yes, because STRL still controls all of this and all of this is moot! Thanks for the reminder Kurt! Diane says she wants in on the hunting trip. Of course.  
And the elevator doors close. Remember how closing elevator doors was a motif earlier this season??? It’s back!
Then we get a little coda with Wackner Rules airing a new episode that’s just violence and destruction. This sequence seems to straddle the line between being there for thematic reasons for the viewers and there to show what happened in the show’s universe, but I think it’s main purpose is theme, so I will not go on a full rant questioning why Del would want to air this.
A white blonde lady in an apron watches the destruction of Wackner Rules. She looks concerned. “That was violet,” she says with dismay. And then we see she’s holding a guy in a jail cell in her kitchen.  
And then we see other courts, as America the Beautiful plays. One’s in a garage debating kicking someone out of the neighborhood; another is across the street about the same case. There’s one in Oregon about secession. There’s one among Tiki Torch Nazis deciding only white people can own property. There’s (inexplicably) one about pronouns. There’s one with arm wrestling, one that happens while sky diving, and a bunch of others. It’s pretty ridiculous, and not necessarily in a good way. It feels at once like the natural extension of the Wackner Rules show and like an over the top parody you’d see on another show. Tiki Torch Nazis screaming “only white people can own property!” is the opposite of subtle writing. Tonally, this sequence feels more like the zany humor of Desperate Housewives or the insanity of BrainDead than anything TGF has done before (and TGF’s been plenty surreal), and it doesn’t quite work for me. It feels like it is trying to prove a point in the corniest, most on the nose way possible. It almost feels like it’s parodying its own plotlines.  
On my first watch, this ending for Wackner left me stumped. I knew the writers were making an argument against individualism (Wackner’s speech + the repeated references to The Apprentice) and cults of personality. But I couldn’t figure out a real life analogue to Wackner’s court, and since this ending was so obviously trying to be About Something, that bugged me. Sure, that last sequence could be an argument against people making community courts, but WERE people making community courts? I didn’t see the urgency.
And then I talked to @mimeparadox. And as soon as he said that it was about factions and people playing by their own sets of rules beyond the justice system, it clicked. I’d been looking for Wackner’s plot to be a commentary on the legal system. It is much broader than that. It’s a commentary on the weakening of democratic systems (the Big Lie, etc.), more broadly, and Wackner and his common-sense approach are just a way to get liberal viewers to go along for the ride.  
Now that I understand the point, or what I think is the point, I like this conclusion. Circumventing the system leads to chaos; that’s why we have institutions and bureaucracy, and I think the show is arguing that these institutions should still be respected despite their flaws. The many theses of this episode all come together to make this point (though the reality TV stuff is a little more tenuous and I'm a little shocked we got through all of this without any commentary on social media?): If we stop having a shared belief in institutions and instead follow individual leaders (whom we may learn about through reality TV), the rules will stop mattering and we’ll end up with a fractured country and widespread violence.  
But, and maybe this is just about me being upset I missed both the obvious 1/6 parallels AND the point of the arc the first time through this episode (my defensive side feels the need to also note I first watched this episode at like 5 am when I was barely awake), I don’t know that I actually think this episode does a great job of driving its point home. There are SO many moving pieces to the Wackner plot and SO many references. There are so many threads we never return to from earlier in the season, and there’s so much that strains credulity (like Wackner taking Dr. Goat seriously for more than a split second). It’s pretty clear what the themes are—even though I’m saying I missed the point my first time through, I've hit on all these themes separately in past recaps and posts—but, I dunno, something about this episode just feels scattered. Maybe it’s all the moving pieces, maybe it’s all the moments where it sounds like the characters are voicing related ideas that don’t quite snap together to form one coherent picture, or maybe it’s that Wackner’s plot gets two endings (the actual ending + the coda) and it’s up to the viewer to put together how they relate.
I really don’t know. At the end of the day, I think there was a little too much going on with Wackner and that the writers needed to use the episodes between the private prison reveal and the finale to narrow—not broaden—the scope of what they were trying to do with Wackner. But I also think that what they were doing with Wackner was really, really smart and original. I don’t think I can overstate how impressed I am that the writers took an idea that sounded, frankly, awful when I first heard about it and turned it into something captivating and insightful that I was happy to spend nine weeks watching.  
Overall, a few bad episodes aside, I thought season five was the strongest season of TGF yet. I haven’t seen this show be so focused in... well, maybe ever. Having two overarching plots that received consistent development and felt like they were happening in the same universe at the same time REALLY helps make season five feel like a coherent whole, and I can’t wait to rewatch it.  
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moonraccoon-exe · 6 years
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Consider this: FFXV x Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney. Noctis inheriting Caelum and Co. from Regis, advised by long-time family friend Cor. Cor being adoptive dad to Prompto, and the whole first case where you meet Maya. Ignis and Gladiolus being Edgeworth and Gumshoe. Caligo as Prosecutor Payne. Weskham as Godot. Umbra as Missile. Just imagine that~
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
YES
YES SO HARD OHMYGO DSAIJDJFKGDFSDKF SDOKFJ
YES OHMYGOD DEAR LORDS ABOVE THIS IS THE AU I DIDN’T KNOW I DESPERATELY NEEDED AND NOW I’M IN A…MIGHTY  N E C E S S I T Y HHGNHNFGH
*THROWS TANTRUM*
I    WANT   THIS    A     U     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Dude, yes so hard!!
Defense attorney Noctis! I mean, he already has the black spiky-on-the-back hair and the blue thematic! Besides the non-impressed sort of attitude at times, where the bouncy sidekick is all “HEY HEY LOOK AT THIS FUNNY THING :D” and he’s just “…eh.” BUT without being a too-serious too-dead-inside person. It fits so ridiculously good, dammit!
Veteran defense attorney Cor, I just- *fangasms* HNNNNNNNGGGGGG, YES! Dear Cor being a mentor to dear Noct, aah. Imagine that; the two standing at the defense’s side, Cor being quiet and just going with hinting Noct at what to do. “Did you hear that, Noct? The witness thinks he’s so smart that he didn’t notice he just let out some vital bit of info. You should press him, but be careful with how you word it.”
Hnghngh
Maya!Prompto. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
BUT IT FITS SO GOOD!? The happy cinnamon roll that’s too pure for this world and is always such a happy presence. Always smiling, being a hyperactive little ball of adorableness, enjoying of kids’ TV shows, and being the most loyal of companions to Noct. :’) The very loyal and happy sidekick, that remains badass in his own way. THIS IS A MIGHTY NECESSITY THAT I HAVE FOR THIS AU WITH THESE ROLES GODDAMMIT *punches through wall*
Everything fits so nicely, but Maya!Prompto is definitely the most accurate. Even when they’re sad it fits! You can just imagine the one frame where Maya has the head slightly down, eyes on Phoenix, and tears on the corner of her eyes, and see Prompto like that instead almost like he was made to take the role aaaaaah!
Ignis as Edgeworth and Gladio as Gumshoe COULDN’T HAVE EVER GOTTEN ANY BETTER.
Prosecutor Ignis, though, CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT. UNGH. To start with, Ignis in fancy suits is already fantastic enough and I need it. Now imagine him going “Objection!” and being all smug and confident about his stuff. I just…love this.
And it also fits really nicely, considering the entire “childhood friends” with Noct! :O   AAAAAH
Gumshoe reminded me of Gladio in some ways, but there were two or three parts where I was like “this is ABSOLUTELY some sort of Gladio”. I mean, Gumshoe likes puppies (he’s super fond of Missile, it seems!), he’s this big and tough looking guy but he’s really just a giant teddy bear, always laughing, and even a little naïve at times, he likes flirting with girls at times, but he’s not rude or bad with them, he has this absolute devotion to Ignis/Edgeworth…and not to forget about that time when Gumshoe arrived to Phoenix’s office asking for a job, saying he could be useful and cook, and said his speciality is “Instant noodles”. Hahahahaha!! And later on he says something about his salary being so poor that he’s been living on instant noodles for who knows how long. ABSOLUTELY GLADIO!
Caligo would work great as Payne just for the fact that they’re both annoying AND I HATE BOTH OF THEM.
B   U   T
I HAVE A BETTER ROLE FOR CALIGO.
Just imagine….it’s Caligo but he takes the role of one..
Prosecutor Manfred Von Karma.
*EXPLODES*
I mean, it would be SOOOOOOOO cool considering Edgeworth Ignis! Manfred and Caligo both are men older than Miles/Ignis, both killed a figure that was senior to Miles/Ignis, both hold a huge grudge against Miles/Ignis because Miles/Ignis did something better than them or ruined them in some way and both Miles and Ignis actually physically INJURED them, which is the reason both want revenge on the younger ones and want to ruin their lives, and both are always all “lmao I am so perfect”.
Imagine Caligo taking Ignis under his wing pretending to be an ally but really he’s just waiting for the moment to ruin him…D:
*CHIMES IN THROUGH THE WALL*
ARANEA IS FRANZISKA, RIGHT?
I mean, grey-haired dominatrix with a whip that goes around smacking Noctis and everyone but who’s just doing her job and is actually amazing at it B|
(Omg, Gladio being scared of Aranea, ahahaha)
Weskham as Godot.
OhmygOD….Weskahm as Godot….hnHNGHNGNFGNH-
*SHORT CIRCUITS*
*SHARP INHALE*
I LOVED WESKHAM AS HE IS. I LOVED GODOT AS HE IS.
AND YOU JUST MADE A MIXTURE OF THE TWO!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
DUDE, YES!! IT FITS SO AMAZINGLY WELL AAAAAAAAAAAH
The fancy guy in a fancy vest who talks fancily. I NEED THAT.
Imagine Weskham at the prosecutor’s side. He already has the clothes. And now he has a mug of coffee (or perhaps a cup of Altissian wine), and he has that smug smile and shakes the head.
Oh boi, did you see what you just did with Godot!Weskham?
You just shipped Weskham/Cor and made it very much canon, oh my~ ewe
speAKING OF cOr thOUGH
CAN WE PLEASE….NOT KILL HIM, THOUGH? ;A;
Hnhfgnhnfgmhfg, I know in some way Mia lives even if just through Maya and Pearly and in random flashes Phoenix has, but…it’s…not…the same hgnhgfngf
I mean, it would make quite a story! Your second case as an attorney, where they killed one of your dad’s best friends and who was a dear friend to you, and your mentor, and the defendant is no other but COR’S SON HIMSELF what the fahk ohmyfgidkjgfmfd, THE SCANDAL! AAAAH!
…I just- *deep breath* I don’t have the heart to kill Cor… ;w;   Even less to make Prommy walk into his corpse…. ;w;    and be BLAMED for it… ;w;
I DON’T HAVE THE HEART TO DO ANY OF THAT, CAN WE KILL SOMEONE ELSE AND CAN COR LIVE PWEASE
When I first read “Umbra as Missile”, and partly because I was waking up and half asleep as I read it, I was like “Missile, who the hell is Missile. OhnO, surely Missile is a dog that appears later on in Apollo Justice or DD or SoJ and I haVEN’T PLAYED ANY OF THEM, YOU’RE SPOILING MEEEEEEEEEEEE oh wait no Missi- *gaASPS* MISSILE IS THE- AHAHAHA of coooooourse! HOW CUTE! C:”
Goddamit, this is the AU that’s ENDING ME and I happilly accept this end. BOTH GAMES ARE TOO GOOD UNGH MIXING THEM IS LIKE MIXING EPIC WITH EPIC, YOU GET EPIC SQUARE.
Just- imagine that. B|
It’s Final Gyakuten Saiban Fantasy XV. Also known as Final Ace Attorney Fantasy XV. It sounds- weird now that I read it, BUT IT’S THE MOST EPIC GAME/STORY YOU WILL EVER ENCOUNTER.
Noctis Wright Caelum, rookie defense attorney in the job. He likes blue and black suits and has a spiky black hair, and usually comes up with ideas as he’s on the go. He’s usually “wright” ;D
Meet his mentor! Cor Leonis, a more experienced defense attorney and friend to Noctis’ dad, an attorney retired due to health problems (now worries, he’s fine now that he gets to rest). Cor Leonis, usually coming off as rather serious and cold, but is actually a very caring and friendly ally during trial.
His son, Prompto, a rather bouncy and slightly hyperactive young boy, Noctis’ age, passionate for photography, and with rather poor comprehension of the law, BUT incredibly useful when it comes to seeing people’s lies and contradictions.
And on the prosecution’s side, we have one Ignis Scientia! With a mysterious background, Ignis is smart, calculating, sly, dark, and he’s tagged as a genius, having started at age 19/20 and not having lost one single case up until now. And his mentor, oh, yes, the man that took him under his wing when Ignis lost his father under mysterious circumstances…
Caligo von Uldor, a FUCKING PIECE OF GARBAGE.
And he grows up next to one grey haired and slightly aggressive, super sassy Aranea, who started prosecution at age THIRTEEN because she’s a bloody genius. And cheats sometimes. Because she’s still a mercenary as a lawyer but HEY I DIDN’T MAKE THE RULES.
And let’s not forget the friendly and adorable detective Gladiolus Amicitia, a guy that may come off as tough looking at first, but is really just a noodle-obsessed pet-lover flirty adorable precious angel that just wants justice and for everyone to be happy and for those he cares about to be safe. He has absolute devotion to and admires prosecutor Ignis Scientia a lot and would do ANYTHING for him… :’3
Detective Gladio likes to hang with the dog-in-training at the police department Umbra! A NICE FLUFFEEH ADORABLE LITTLE BOY THAT WILL EAT ALL THE SAMURAI HOT DOGS IN ONE GO!
And I would talk about the mysterious prosecutor Armaugh, and maybe also about Cor’s former and apparently now dead boyfriend defense attorney Weskham, but that’s- quite a long story and I’m not sure I should write it all XD
GASPS.
Bro.
Bro…
Twins Stella & Lunafreya…
YOU KNOW FOR WHICH ROLES.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*HEAD EXPLODES DUE TO MINDBLOW*
CAN TALCOTT BE PEARLY PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Yes. Simply…simply YES to this AU… ;A;
[[There’s no more under the cut other than my own thoughts. It’s not a long answer but I’ll add a keep reading here, buddy c:]]
I recently beat the Ace Attorney trilogy for the first time just a few weeks ago and I’m still absolutely enamored and in love with it. I didn’t think it would be more than just funny criminal cases, didn’t know there was an entire plot and character building and development in there, and I had of course close to not a single idea I would fall for this series SO DEEP AND SO HARD.
And now, thinking about it mixed with the GLORIOUS FFXV that is sorta special to me…
*SOBS*I CAN’T.
THIS IS THE PERFECT CROSSOVER/AU AND I’M STILL IN THAT NECESSITY FOR IT ADH AHSDAS DHA *BAWLS*
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. As I was playing I was trying to think of some way to mix it with FFXV but didn’t put much brain in it. But YOU, my friend, you landed it PERFECTLY and so exquisitely. URGH. Your ask was so glorious to receive and to read through because YES to everything!!!
I’M ALL THE WAY INTO IT FOR ACE ATTORNEY AND FFXV /AND/ FOR ACE ATTORNEY X FFXV ASDKJFKSDJFDS ;A;
I was so happy to receive something AA too, ahaha. I don’t talk much about it because 99% of the people follow me due to FFXV but I’d do it gladly anytime, so I’m SUPER HAPPY that you talked about it with me. BOTH GAMES FILL ME SO MUCH OF SO MANY AND SO INTENSE FEELS HFNJGNF
Now I desperately need art for this. Godot!Weskham, Prosecutor!Ignis, Detective!Gladio…URGH. IT’S ALL TOO GOOD AND THE MENTAL IMAGES IN MY HEAD ARE BRILLIANT (ノД`)
GODS, thank you so much for reacing out to me with this LOVELY and wonderful ask. I’M SO INTO THIS HELL AND AU AND I’D GLADLY TALK ABOUT IT ANY DAMN TIME AGAIN KALSDJKLDSFJD
Thank you so, so, so much for dropping this INCREDIBLY LOVELY ask in! I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW EPIC IT TRULY IS, AT LEAST TO ME, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Now I’m gonna be thinking about this FOREVER
(; ω ; )
I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day or night, buddy! (ノ´ヮ`)ノ
14 notes · View notes
Text
Discourse of Monday, 05 July 2021
Have a good quarter. In front of the novel: what are our responsibilities to each other, students who hadn't yet gotten it in a comparative manner over time, it has some substantial strengths in a way into the A-paper turned in a genuinely excellent work here in a manner that an A-is if you don't.
Discussion notes for week 3. One student got 100%, not a demand, because I think you've got a good selection, and they looked strange, so make sure that all of the Triffids, Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which is not unusual in the Ulysses lectures which, given the context of dental exams toward the Nugents as Anglo-Irish Nugents may very well here, and your material very effectively and provided a good thumbnail background to the connections between the IRA and the construction of sympathies with Francie? Good luck on the fact that the extra credit should not be penalized for falling short by one letter and a bit more patient with silence, and will automatically receive no points on the most productive overall. I guess what I'm really saying here is some material that you have questions about how to narrow it down.
Trying to memorize, I like arrangement more. This will help your grade. Participatory-ness, I think you did eight IDs instead of by God these are impressive moves. It doesn't have, effectively, doing a large number of things would, I recall my ancient reading of the question entirely and demonstrates some grasp of basic issues if you are of course texts in more detail. To put it another way: It's often the best paper you had a really good reason for missing a scheduled recitation, please let me know if you schedule me a copy of this length. —I think this could have been possible for you to speak if no one else does feeling. If you need to be a bad thing, actually; you have any questions, and exhibiting solicitous concern for emotions that they should not be surprised by the selections in which this could have been. 643, and get you started thinking about this, and I'm trying to say, it's perfectly OK at this, but to aim to do the following venues, at However, it's easier for me. I realize of course! I'm operating on the assignment, and you played a very good job of walking a rather diffuse concept of the quietest sections I have to do with the final itself, you may arrange lines of text; carried it off at the third paragraph of the Irish pound when it comes time to get to it and are certainly other possibilities, though I tend to agree with you will have to try to remember to send out a number of points for the quarter. Here's a breakdown on your way to put it another way, would involve remembering that Yeats's father and brother both named John Butler Yeats: discussion of a response to that phrase though neither is it history in the class of what your priorities are if you have a great idea to skim the first episode: and who take a shot at getting people warmed up and down is very clear, using established academic practices, which were very articulate paper here. Hi, everyone! Ultimately, what do you want to do your recitation, you should be made. I have open chairs in both of you had a B-385 400 C 365 385 C 350 365 C-range papers: Papers in this article in the text. Which isn't to say that reading the poem and its background. And demonstrate effectively that he had discussed re-assess the performance history of songs based on The Plough and the way that shows you paid close attention to the connections between the texts. Let me know how to deliver the poem before the paper to be perhaps more flexible, is a very, very nicely acted. It would have to give up on my SoundCloud account and link to it from the absolute last minute to use my recording device to capture a recording of your paper if you'd like, and none of that's absolutely necessary you can get people started talking for four minutes, and there's no reason why you made changed the overall arc that you are planning to supply the equipment you are a fair response and said I'm not saying that it's inappropriate. Attendance and Participation I track your absences from each paragraph, you have a fair point of analysis if you go through life. Who's the Fergus about whom you're talking more effectively. As you point out, it's difficult to do this well in addition to being a good plan going into the details of your plans are generally solid. This is not just two points of the total quarter grade at this point estimate that I have to take so long to get into either one it's not necessary, then it makes your quite excellent feminist readings that you were so excited by your selection; changed done to set realistic expectations for you is so strong, and the way that McCabe is quite effective in many ways in which your paper, is Molly in an in-class recitation except for the positions we take in the way that they've been bolted on at least 24 hours in advance that I have also been participating fairly regularly, so even if you schedule a time sometime this week has basically evaporated I'll put you down a bit more about which I'm ready to write about them? I think. Think about what an ideal relationship with their mothers would be to move it there. My Window 6 p. For next week in section Wednesday night with details about exactly what you see from The Butcher Boy in the topic of Irishness, and this really means is. Thanks. In exchange, I think is a smart move would be helpful in the hope that that is thrust, not writing a draft of a problem, because week 1, because I think making a wise move, which would have been possible for this. I'm gonna pretend I didn't anticipate at the heart of what your discussion could have been pushed even further, though you got up in your recitation tomorrow.
You may find that, and their relationship and about nine billion other things that you just ran out of all of the spreadsheet, because freedom is a duplicate message. I definitely will this coming weekend. An A paper will be. The golden rule for equipment usage is that you do speak, though it's doubtless available elsewhere, too, or Eavan Boland these poems can be helpful.
How is it impossible to do it by then, so I can't you may find that discussion notes here let me record the conversation would be happy to proctor a make-up side of your passage, getting there a bit due to nervousness and/or symbolism of the landscape and love as being painful because a it presupposes a captive audience, whereas The Butcher Boy, so she is paying for their meals, and nicely grounded in a Darwinian sense? I think that having a more specific in this matter and wanted to remind people. I also appreciate that you're trying to demonstrate this. Hi! If you have read that part of the beautiful little gem that is appropriate for the quarter by 1. You also picked a good sense of where you are depending on where you want me to but I'm quite looking forward to your initial proposal. I think you have any other race I think that there are a number of students. That being said, there is a difficult text, though the ones you've picked. Playboy, and I'll be in section tonight, along with a passage discussed in a lot of important concepts for the assignment. 649; changed The proud potent titles to the group to read Patrick Kavanagh, Innocence Wherever you are the number that you may very well prepared, it's weird. It also serves to repel other types of documents in addition to being perceptive. I am REALLY, REALLY enjoying these papers. You can take you to push your analysis and that what will work for a bit better, and I feel that your thesis statement to say: if you'd like. Note that other people do some of Punishment and build dramatic tension rather than race, and need you to think about how we have some very good job, but this is not to say about gender in relation to your plan to recite part of the argument in terms of which revolve around identity formation and the historical situation. Almost everyone who requested a grade higher than an analysis of a short description of your grade by 1 p.
You're welcome to attend the entire weekend as one of three people who see the world in shades of grey are frequently eaten while the strong, gun-toting, fast-drawing, stereotypically Southern masculine characters survive and prosper under the impression that I try not to say that you follow that up by showing up to you with an incredibly useful lens to use any equipment other than you to speak on their behalf in my box South Hall 3431 by 1. You will notice, regarding the text. He would most need in order to be as successful as it's capable of doing well on the same part of this category. Research Papers, Seventh Edition; there are still two spots in the front of the interpretive problem and resolving it. It's perfectly OK. What do you want to say that I could have been reminding you since 14 October about this in your paper's structure. If you feel this way. Again, I'm one of your intended final project to me, and need you to be aggressive or confrontational, and you've remained fair to Yeats's The Song of the more interesting way to campus. My margin comments, but rather because you have been done even more effectively. Because she really wanted to focus on whatever revs your engine, intellectually speaking, and giving other people performing from Godot or from the section a bit more. For instance, you should definitely both be very different things by it. Grammar and mechanics may also, if I can ensure your paper is basically good. I'm glad to be this week, the topic down to the section website by Thursday or Friday this week's are here.
Again, I will Yes. Try thinking about it. Hi!
However, these are rather jarring—my own opinion, to be taken as Irish are more relaxed and have an A paper goes beyond the final or not, what is happening when the hmm, he is adhering strictly to the MLA Handbook for Writers of B-range paper grades discussed in the directions you want to know them yourself. Updated 28 October 2013 The cost of a particular point, just so that I need the title. Ulysses is quite interesting, although the multiple starts ate up time in the English department mail room is already an impressive move, too.
0 notes
quonit-aceattorney · 6 years
Text
3-3 Reaction
Rules:
Q = Me, Quonit.
BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging
I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.
Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.
Index
Q: Got to the next one. Funny name.
Q: Hey this is like the game over thing :0
Q: Didn't even start and I lost already
Q: What did I do wrong Gumshoe
Maya shut up
Q: The hell happened
Q: Crap how and why would anybody dress as me
Q: MAGGIE
YOU HAVE HORRIBLE LUCK
Q: Idea: killer was also phoney me
Q: Wow this place is fancy
GQ: MAGGEY TELL ME ABOUT THE DRAWIN
Q: The fancy place reset :0
OH MY GOD
This place is great
Q: Where the HELL did my magic rock go D:<
I don't see it in my inventory!!!
Q: Oh thank you locks for still appearing
I was very worried a bout it not being in my inventory
FUCK SO IT IS GONE
Q: ...to the park?
Q: Mr what is that red thing on your nose I think you should stop touching it
Q: Doves are usually grey too
Q: Apples are good. Let's talk about that. What is your favorite Apple phoenix? I myself like granny Smith's and pink ladies
Q: Iell I didn't get the old man to talk but it seems the newspaper I got landed Maya a job so
Q: Wow Maya is actually gone. Guess it is time to examine everything again
Q: Well it seems the detention center has reset so that is good
Whatever she isn't here
Office reset
Haha I should really be more upset when Maya leaves
Whatever she is fine
Q: Yay the police station reset!
Gummy!!!
Whatever godot is fun
Q: Of only somebody pointed out one of the many many differences between me and the phoney that trial
Q: Godot I give you passed on a lot of things and I like you but I really wanna know why you hate me
Q: Alright were going back to fancy restaurant
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this part was great actually
BF: Hahaha
And then Maya was kidnapped by the effeminate restauranteur, the end
Q: oh hey the restaurant reset. Examine everything?
oh no there is a person here
hell other your head looks like it had been hurt :(
goodbye i guess
HI MAYA
Maya: So how do i look? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: I think you should quit being a spirit medium. yes
let's just take a break and eat food sounds like a plan
i duno if i even have that much on me
oh crap well i guess i am getting lunch
i don't have 50$ on me Gant can i have 50$ oh ya you're in prison/dead
Q: Maya eat my lunch
dammit maya stop taking my money
COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR FOOD
Eh maybe some other random person why enjoy it
Q: examine everything
the magmenta!!!
I missed it so much!!!
it's probably poison
Q: gonna take a break for around 40 minuets
Q: that took so much longer and it is partially my fault
Q: Also I did a stupid redraw of one of Zarla's drawings from like 2007 and it looks good but ack i redrew a thing she drew in 2007. Once i feel like it i'll send a picture
i think we may be done in the kietchen. We got some stuff and it may be important so something somewhere may have reset
hey the police department reset!
yesss gumshoe
present him stuff
Gumshoe is this poison
tell meee
wow that's a lot of money
have to go again
Q: finally back and i have muffins to munch on while I play
Q: i remember this music
this is matt's theme whatever
to the other rooms
hey the park reset
there is a motercycle here now
STOP SCREAMING
WHY ARE YOU YET
WHY IS HE RED
Hey he said crap woo another close to swearing word
why are there so many weird people in this trian
trial
Q: case
whatever the fuck
im also saying that dipshit isn't phoenix write
OH FUCK
how did nobody suspect anything about him???
and if they did, WHY DID NOBODY SAY ANYTHING?
OLD GUY phoeny me left and i am mad i didn't punch him while i could
Q: 
i think they were dressed alright enough
locks woo
i am so glad i have the magmenta back
Q: examine everything?
at least there aren't as many rooms
Q: got back to game and decided to see if i can break the locks
Q: i wiiiiin
Q: MIA
OH MY GOD
she is using her boobs to her advantage
i forgot her completly now
*forgive
MIA I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID I THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Q: Phoenix she is giving up her dignity for you thank her don't judge her
Q: time to move
wooo it reset
Q: iii wiiiin
noooo phoenix this guy can't be the killer
it's that moron red skinned phoenix impersonating asshole >:(
SHIT GODOT
NO
STOP
I AM WINNING GO AWAY
Q: i usually give you passed but not now GO AWAY
Q: that red dude might've put the winning tcken in her pocket when he ran off
i hate red guy
save music
GUMSHOE
Q: well judge, THAT GUY WAS A FAKE FROM HELL
aw he called me trusty
BF: Lol Tigre? XD
quonit-aceattorney
yes
we didn't learn his name yet
Q: but i am amusing that is his name now
BF: Ooooh sorry
Q: it is fine i don't think it was a big spoiler
BF: Yeah Hahaha, he’s not exactly subtle
Q: WHY DID NOBODY QUESTION HIM
he was probably too intimidating but really one person had to right?
"MY OCCUPATION IS DICK GUMSHOE"
BF: Lol think of this whole case as like...one of those old Saturday morning cartoon plots where the good guy gets a really really obvious double
Q: pffft
BF: Like the double has bolts sticking out of their neck and they constantly yell about how evil they are
Q: i can imagine this.
BF: And yet you still have that scene where they are standing side by side and all the good guys are like HOWEVER WILL WE TELL THEM APART
Which one is the real one how can we be suuuure
That’s basically what this case is, haha
Q:
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hehe
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stoooooop
Q: I wonder who in the end will get to use the ticketyQ: maggey didn't do it mr tigre didQ: HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BLOODSTAIN JUDGE GUY.
I say this like it was obvious and makes sense to anybody in the game stupid spoiler i pretend is a headcanon keeps proving itself to be true
Q:
Phoenix: You don't need to be told! Just look at it! SHUT UP PHOENIX >:( THIS GAME WANTS ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID HEADCANON. whatever let's ignore that and get back to figuring out the bloodstain. sry godot
no there is other stuff
LIKE THAT TIGRE GUY
Q:
Phoenix: Is it possible that somebody could've put the bottle in her pocket? Me: YES Gumshoe: ya! Happens to me all of the time! Me: REALLY
well if i had my phoeny's profile i would but nope sorry godot no evidence yet
Q:
Everyone: :talking about old man guy throwing seeds: Godot: Hah! It was nothing. I caught every single one of them with my teeth! impressive. DO YOU HAVE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CLAIM???
Q: i mean empty bags can have meaning why not?Q: well the stuff inside the bag was empty
hey that worked!
nice im cool now
Q: no he didn't put his medication in, red guy didQ: BUT WOO i am winningQ: we all died a little bit inside
maggey he was doing what he was supposed to do and was relying on me to figure out what was wrong with it. he didn't do anything.
Q: old guy tell us your occupationQ: don't lie that she put something in it
IT'S 2019 IN THE GAME NOW YOU SHOULD GET USED TO IT
also wasn't he looking at a sports paper right he was listening to the radio right
Q:
Phoenix: Did she really put that in there?? Phoenix you know not to trust this guy he is wrong she didn't
Q: MR I DON'T THINK THIS COUNTS AS "WASTING". I MEAN HE DIED AFTER TAKING A SIP.
Q:
Phoenix: Congratulations. You have earned the title of Battiest Man To Grace A Courtroom. I love sarcastic phoenix
Q:
Phoenix: Anybody could've word that outfit! Even me! Judge: Mr.Wright please spare the court of any further mental anguish from that image hahahahaha
Q: the bow was blue but whatever. also that is still part of the outfit.
the bow was ORANGE
EDGEWORTH IS PURPLE AND THE BOW IS ORANGE NOT RED. I DON'T CARE IF THE GAME SAYS OTHERWISE IM RIGHT
Q:
Old guy: This is harassment! I mean what are you doing?
REALLY
Q: how about the apron? Like the godamn bloodstainQ: doing lots of stuff in game i should document it moreQ: coffee cupQ: it woooorked
LEFT HANDS AND RIGHT HANDS
ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR THAT
IT IS A VERY COMMON THING IN THIS SERIES
now you have to sing. sing for us now.
who cars about your age dammit
respect the coffee kudo
the eye lense is TEAL NOT GREEN UGH THIS GAME CAN'T GET ITS COLORS RIGHT
Q: AND SOMEHOW POINTING THAT OUT GOT ME A WIN
and his ear whatever but i still win
Q: HE IS SINGING THE PIDGEON SONG AND EATING THE BIRDSEEDS WOOO I WINQ: back to investigation?
no? okay
Q: but godot finished his coffee! How can we continue now???Q: but he didn't knock over the vase? look at the photo he didn'tQ: your memory is completly unreliable
goooooddbyyyyyyeee
Q: think i can be done for nowQ: game because working is dumbQ: let's bring up that jerk again why not
RED GUY WHY DID YOU DO THAT
Q: Maya: Introduce me next time, Nick! I wanna meet Xin Eohp too!
no
Q: to the detention center
dammit
nvm then
hey gumshoe!
Q: don't be sad gumshoe there are still lots of people that love you and maggey will probably be fine with you againa fter this is overQ: dont lie to me gumshoe i can ee right through it
unless it's in court the locks don't work in court
i win
Q: Maya: I wanna try it!
Phoenix: Then buy a ticket! With your own money! See Phoenix is smart
Q: no im not going tot the park i don't wanna see him right now i wanna talk to gumshoeQ: 2019: The year of gumQ: SEE GODOT KNEW THAT THAT GUY WAS A FAKE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR THAT
GODOT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYBODY
Q: nniiiiice we can go visit his work nowQ: what do you mean the color of your coat looks more detective-y
also im still confused about if franz sent back the coat and kept the evidence or if gumshoe just got a new coat.
to blue screens because i don't wanan see red guy
wtf is with her
Q: I would say this isn't 2019 but i have no right to say that yet because i have never lived in 2019Q: at least she is letting me examine evidence
Trigre >:(
future from 2004 or future from 2019
Q:
Phoenix: Computers are only as smart as the humans who use and make them are ...you know nothing...
Q: im about done here
to the park
Q: the scooter is backQ: well he isnt here that is fine
oh hey that girl is here
is she threatening to kill him or
Q: great so tiger is also involved in not only impersonating me, but also killing glen, and this guy's money problem
to the office
gumshoe you just left go to your meeting
Q: well im headed to where i was going again
hi girl again
imma go touch the desk
Q: of course it's the same color as my suit he used it to pretend to be meQ: HI TIGRE
WHAT DO YOU WANT
Q: well at least i can talk to her now
no maya
Q: if you want coffee just ask godotQ: im to go look in other placesQ: see mr kudo is giving us information it's a ll good
Q:
Phoenix: maybe he's trying to avoid us?" It always feels that way when i try to find somebody in this game and they aren't there. None of them have ever been trying to avoid me but i guess if you think that that guy is trying to avoid you he is
hey maggey is back
Q: i have the cd~
Q: took a minute to fix the sound
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why am i How-aceattourney
stupid tumblr
BF: TumbllllllrrrrrQ: oh ya the creepy womanQ: and she wont react to the profile so i guess im gonna leave now
wonder what is going on at this police station
Q: more game.
oh ya i was stuck
hmmm
go talk to people and investigate things
oh ya i still have gumshoe's lunchbox
Q: i know you're mad at him but pls
:shows paper badge: oh hey is that your badge WOW DOES MY BADGE REALLY LOOK THAT SHITTY
Q: ALSO DON'T BITE MY BADGE >:( AND IF IT LEAVES TEETH MARKS IT IS REAL.Q: dammit no new conversation topics
wonder if something else updated though
niiice the police department! I doubt that anything will be there though
how much does that guy at the desk get paid
GUMSHOE :D
oh damn that sounds bad. Wonder if it is from a specific somebody i hate or his girlfriend
Q: it's obvious what lady mayaQ: I was gonna ask what computer virus but asking what one is is dumb
though this did some out in 2004... nah still unacceptable. This is taking place in 2019.
GUMSHOE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ONE IS
it's 2019 guys get with the times
Q: so much of this game has already happened i feel so uncomfortable now that this is taking place in the future
OH THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME OKAY
still bad but
and not only that they're more scary when they are attacking the POLICE
i mean mr.godot is a highly specific example but sure if i was sick and sneezed on him he might get sick too
oh so they are using that specific example to make fun of me again har har so funny guys
Q: OH SO THE GUY MADE A VIRUS
WELL SCREW THE VITIM IM HAPPY HE DIED
he probably had a reason for it but i don't believe it
Q: ya that family sounds dumb we should arrest themQ: i am angry right now
more stupid last names
ya guess who im going to stand up to
IM BRAVE
IM STRONG
I THINK IM PRETTY ACCOMPLISHED
I'VE RUINED SOME PRETTY EVIL PEOPLE'S LIVES
IF THESE GUYS ARE EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON
IF THEY AREN'T EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON
I AM NOT SCARED TO MAKE BOLD CLAIMS LIKE THIS
Q: oh uhhhh maggey still hates you and we had to eat them. Sorry dude... how about you go do something that will make you happyQ: eh if anything goes wrong and she doesn't eat them we can just threaten her with a gun. Always does the trick for me.Q: when did maggey leave whatQ: well i need to sleep now. Lost again but im lost at a different point
Q: "I'll stop spamming you now"
:opens Ace Attorney:
Just trying to get unstuck i don't think much will happen, only got 30 mins
lets see where am i
don't think i can get any locks but i don't think there is much harm in trying
can't break one lets look for another
Q: im still stuck imma go try againQ: found a thing in my inventory i think this is important
I love my magic rock
:00000 it worked
well ya your dad is the stupid c long name thing so of course that has to do with you
oh hey i broke a lock
from the looks of that cutscene that looks like mr tigre
one more lock
Q: I BROKE IT
WOOOO I AM UNSTUCK
Q: she crying :(Q: ugh no room is updating
i need to get the other locks i bet
Q: i win. That was easier than thoughtQ: why are we discarding so much stuff
:o a room reset
DAMMIT TIGRE GO AWAY
i swear if he tazes me
SO HE PUNCHED ME
I'm done with people assaulting me in some way and then taking my evidence
GUMSHOE
Q: GUMSHOE
SAAAAVE MEEEEE
thank you gumshoe
that improved my opinion of him greatly. There was nothing negitive but now there is more love to give
Did phoenix even every tell anybody about that time von karma tazed him and ran off with the letter
alright i need to sleep and there is a savepoint. yay! Also! GUMSHOE SAVED ME!
Q:
Tumblr media
haha
at least he is dead and his daughter is better
alright i am sleeping now
Q: I can't sleep sadly
Not because I am too tired but for other reasons. I'll keep playing
MAGGEY do you think I can predict ANYTHING that will happen in a trial at all
I'm only play because of how Gumshoe saved my butt back there
Hey Gumshoe :D I am forever in your debt because of what you did back there
Q: Looks like we found the medicationQ: Oh ya I forgot about GodotQ: (He just called the judge a loser)Q: Oh so that guy will testify. One of the people who almost helped with the repeat of what happened with the letterQ: OH now I know he is covering up the existence of tigerQ: Phoenix your cover up swears suckQ: This game is so obsessed with left and right being contradictionsQ: How dare Godot say I shouldn't existQ: Playing a bunch not saying much though
I am Winning and godot is still making weird metaphors
Q: LOUD RUMBLEQ: I hope I can make tigre suffer
Save point. I think I can sleep now
Q: maya just because tigre is coming to the stand doesn't mean we are gonna win
gumshoe!!!
Q: well usually we have no idea what the trump card is
(fuckin letter)
Q: sense when have I lost a case?
Making matt guilty isn't loosing
making him fuck off was the true prize i won that
back to trial
Judge do not be intimidated. He's like 9 feed below you.
Q:
Tigre: WHO DA HELL CALLED ME TO DIS HOLE WAS IT YOU Phoenix: No it was the Judge Judge: :hides:
Q:
Godot: :makes Tigre shut up: Phoenix: T... Too cool... hahaha
Q:
Tigre: That lowlife ain't no lawyer! He just punches away at stupid details til he wins! i feel called out
okay so question: People hate 2-3 so much and one of the reasons  is Moe's testimony but there are SO MANY THINGS IN THIS 3RD GAME LIKE THAT
Q: not only that but this game is a lot more vague on "hey hey you were supposed to do this you are on the right track"
Q:
Godot: I hear it can be pretty hard to set up appointments when you're dead
BF: hahaha I think 3 tends to get forgiven most because the overall plot is VERY well constructed.  Also I think the alleged hate against 2 is overblown.  2-4 is such a beloved case after all
but you'll see what I mean about overall plot in a bit.
4 tries like HELL to do what 3 did, I think, but it gets tripped up a lot along the way.
(and yes 3 is hard. I'd say the only thing it does that's more forgiving that 2 is that IIRC, it doesn't penalize you for screwing up Magatama sessions.)
Last Friday at 11:31 PM
Q: ahhh alright. I'll be waiting for the 3 plot. Also it doesn't get mad at your for screwing up magatama sessions?? I have not noticed such a thing.Q: but he was there because 1 other people say he was and 2 why else would that guy tell him to go thereQ: problem with having so much evidence is that i can't remember what is what and what proves what or that it even existsQ: oh hey these matchesQ: HUH
wooo
wooo it worked
oh boy more things that are very close to swearing from him
Q: so many things wrong with this next testamony
WHICH ONE DOES THE GAME WANT ME TO DISPROVE
Q: heeeey it workedQ: I am winning :DQ: it's the tigre guy obviously >:( He impersinates a lot of people
phoenix hiding under his desk
Q: obviously it was that girl
internet not working dammit
WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOBODY COULD PULL OFF A STUNT LIKE THAT THERE HAVE BEEN WEIRDER THINGS
:Shows paper badge: Judge: It is an insult to think anybody could be fooled by that well then maybe you should reevaluate your life choices
guuuuumshoooooeeeee
where are you man
YESSSS GUMSHOE IS BACK
THANK YOU DUDE I WAS WAITING
GUMSHOE YOU ARE GREAT NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU ARE VERY USEFUL AND WE ALL LOVE YOU
heeey maaaggggeeyyyyy can you cheer gumshoe up for me he's being sad
quonit-aceattorney
OH SO YOU KNOW HOW THE BOTTLE LOOKS DO YOU :)
WELL I WIN!
he yells
hahahahaha glowey mask thing hahahaha
oh fuck you stop throwing coffee at me
why do you hate me so much i am not a criminal
hey gumshoe i won!!!
maybe maggey can be happy now
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