#like he seemed kinda offended that i didnt judge him for it but hurt that others did. who cares that you thought a trans woman was hot lmao

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

thinking about the time this young 19 y/o guy i used to work with was talking to me about a bunch of random stuff and I said something about how he shouldnt worry about something this girl said on a dating app because he was just overthinking it and snowballing over nothing.

He paused a minute and said, "I guess you probably have more experience with women than me, huh?" I thought a second, but it was true. I'm not some kind of relationship guru and I fuck up a lot, but I do know more about dating and maintaining a relationship than a 19 y/o wannabe bodybuilder that watches Andrew Tate and has terminal virgin energy.

I said "I guess so, yeah'" and he visibly deflated. Like it was such a blow to his ego. I think maybe he was tethering his sense of masculinity to some weird sexual marketplace virility bullshit and felt emasculated?

im like a weird limp-wristed lesbian with a flamerboy 2003 fashion designer voice. I wear mens and womens clothes as I feel and often just have frizzy hair idgaf about because i'm not a public-facing employee most of the time anyways. if you spend more than a few hours around me it's probably pretty easy to see im a tranny no matter how hard i deny it and im honestly just kinda goofy and do silly shit for my own amusement. normies seem to like me alright and say im fun to be around but also think im a weirdo and I guess that's okay because I have some friends and a wife and I don't need external validation like that (or at least not desperately lmao).

but he seemed genuinely hurt and threatened by the possibility that I've been more successful with women than him and that just feels so weird to me. like why do you feel bad? It's not a competition and even if it was the women you like wouldnt like me and the women that like me wouldnt like you? Maybe stop talking about right wing bodybuilders and acting macho at work because those girls you like think you're an annoying closet case?

[jaebaebie]

SKZ as your high school boyfriend (part ii)

If it seems like I got a bit carried away, it’s because I DID get carried away (IM SORRY THEYRE BOTH MY BIAS/BIASWRECKER, I couldn’t help myself)

Hyunjin

ok so hyunjin would be P O P U L A R ,, no doubt

good looks + talented dancer,, everyone obviously fell for him the minute he stepped foot into school

everyone except for you,, ofcourse

you assumed him to be arrogant and narcissistic

because him having a nice personality would just be too good to be true (like come on,, no guy can be that perfect)

you were so sure you were right about him

WRONG

it took you a hit in the face to realise that,, LITERALLY a Volleyball to your face thrown by Hwang Hyun Jin himself

it was just a volleyball game between his class and yours,,

and you were simply judging your female classmates as they were squealing over Hyunjin who was right across the net

then suddenly a ball whacks your face

and you somehow wake up in the nurse’s office with a very handsome and very frantic guy beside you, grasping onto your hand

“Oh my— thank god! You’re not dead! I’m really sorry,, I really didn’t mean to hit you. I swear! I just— I didn’t even— I’m so sorry!”

His rambles went on and on, which DIDNT help with the throbbing pain in your head, so you shut him up, “Hyunjin, it’s okay. Now will you please just keep it down? I’m okay.”

that didn’t make him feel better, so he offered to drive you home, glancing at you from time to time, making sure you were okay

shyly smiling when you called him out

when you parted ways, you thought that that was the last time you’d ever have to speak to him

surprising you when you found him to be waiting for you right outside your class, leaning against the wall beside the door

he’d ask you if you were okay and apologise for the millionth time

it was kinda cute because he was an absolute softie and sweetheart,, nowhere near the selfish monster you assumed him to be

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s okay?”

“I don’t know. I still feel bad.”

and somehow these types of conversations diverged into many more as he walked you to your next class

and these conversations continued in the days that followed as he constantly appeared to ‘pick you up’ from class, making sure to help you carry your books if you were carrying any in your hands

And like , TADAH, like all the other girls, you had fallen for the one and only Hwang Hyun Jin… OOOOOPPS

you thought he acted this way with every girl, but like,,, he was crushing on you real hard sis and you never noticed

he’ll confess first out of frustration because you never took the hint,, even when he was making it VERYYY obvious

as a boyfriend, he’ll be the kind to pick you up every morning, honking from his car with his signature eye smile

he’ll have some kind of breakfast ready for you, knowing that you were NOT a morning person (worse than him tbh)

he’ll interlock his fingers with yours or have his arm slung around your shoulders as the two of you walk down the hallways

occasionally kissing the back of your hand/ temple when he feels you tense up from the jealous looks of the girls around you two

which is why during lunch breaks, the two of you choose to hang out on the rooftop where no one’s focused on you two

he’d listen to you talk about your day, smiling lovingly at you with his handsome face

sometimes, you’d get distracted and completely forget which part of your story you were in

because how can one function when someone looks at you like how Hyunjin does

“And then Changbin —….” your voice would trail off, falling for his eyes as he gave you an expectant look, waiting for you to continue

“Wait, where was I again?”

He’d laugh and his eyes would crinkle into little moons (you know how it is)

then he’d give you a short kiss, before helping you out “You were talking about Changbin.”

“Oh. Right!”

you’ll be the first he shows his new dance routines to

you two take LOTS of selfies together #reallycuteIGprofilewithreallycutephotosofyoutwo

he’ll be the kind of boyfriend who gets pouty when you don’t give him enough attention during your study dates,,

would start clinging onto you/playing with your hair/ hugging you from the back/ being all cuddly and cute until you finally give him attention

surprise back hugs when he sees you by your locker in between classes

all in all, he’s a very sweet and cuddly and touchy boyfriend

Jisung

let’s just say you and jisung were already bestfriends with very fun and loud personalities,, aka crackheads

so obviously you two were setting up a kind-of-harmless prank to pull on Felix involving a water bucket and a door

how were you supposed to know that your teacher had forgotten his water bottle in class?

so,, major oops when your little prank resulted in an extremely drenched, raging teacher who sent the both of you to detention

you had to clean and arrange your school’s library,, which you got bored of within the first 15 minutes, choosing to throw yourself into one of the bean bags Jisung was on

“so, now that Jinyoung has graduated, have you found a new guy to crush on yet?”

you rolled your eyes, throwing a pillow at his face because you were NOT gonna have this conversation with him AGAIN

one, because it was annoying and two, because you didn’t want to risk him finding out that HE was actually your crush

you went back to rearranging books, telling him that you wanted to finish the task fast and get home,, so he FINALLY helped you manage the other side of your bookshelf

not long after, you noticed him talking to ryujin

obv you eavesdropped on their conversation through the little gaps in the bookshelves (though you barely heard anything)

you rolled your eyes,, its hard to like Han Ji Sung

because the boy is so sweet and nice and friendly to everyone

it just makes you crazy because there was a tiny part of you that wanted him to be sweet and caring ONLY to you.

your little spy mission was interrupted by Minho, a friend from dance, who started a conversation with you

little did you know, it was now jisung’s turn to eavesdrop

“What were you guys talking about?” Jisung asks through the gap of the bookshelf, following you as you went along the aisle

“And why does it concern you?” You ask back.

“Because I’m your bestfriend.”

“Okay then. Tell me what you and Ryujin were talking about first, since I’m your bestfriend too.

“Ryujin and Minho are completely different. Tell me yours first.”

you scoffed, offended by his words, “You’re being unreasonable! Why are you acting like you’re twelve? Are you like jealous or something, Han Jisung?”

he got cut off by the librarian, shutting the two of you up

by the time you reached the end of the aisle, he was there too, allowing the two of you to directly glare at each other face to face

you crossed your arms, staring at the stack of books behind him and avoiding his glare

“Fine, I admit. I’m jealous.” He confesses, “Are you?”

Your eyes widened, your arms fell down to your sides as you slowly nodded, “Me too.”

Is jisung’s part too long? Yes. Am I gonna keep writing? YES.

so, I guess you can say that’s how the two of you indirectly confessed to each other

you guys have a really nice and envy-worthy relationship because your boyfriend’s your bestfriend after all

you’ll have LOTS of FUN,, having after school dates at a fair, karaoke club

you guys have the same group of friends, and the two of you would sit in the same table during your breaks

sometimes, you’d sit on his lap and his arms would just be around your waist, cuddling you with his chin rested on your shoulder

whining for you to feed him a bite of your food,, which you teased him about but absolutely loved

concerts in empty lecture theatres you sneak into,

he’d have the mic, you’ll be sitting in one of the chairs pretending to be an obedient student

he starts rapping or starts advertising a random vitamin bottle he found on the floor

your stomach would hurt so much laughing,, just WHOLESOME

study dates with him would probably turn into a party as you guys start screaming your lungs out to Frozen

sometimes, when he’s having anxiety, you’ll skip school to stay home with him, making sure he was okay and well fed.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Day 3 : Kiss - Ezio Auditore

“Come on, Kat, it’s gonna be fun, I promise!” Claudia whined, holding both of my hands, looking up at me with puppy eyes. “No, Claudia, it’s not gonna be fun. I don’t want to have a joint birthday party. I know your birthday is on January 2nd, and mine on the 3rd, but...But come on, I’m so used to people forgetting about my birthday, it’s not even fun anymore. I’m sure it’s just gonna be you who remembers, and the rest would just celebrate your birthday or something, so what’s the point?” I sigh, plopping on the bed, hanging my head in disappointment. “Hmm...Okay, how about this! Let’s make a party this weekend, now that December finally started and it was the 1st snow already? It’s just gonna be the two of us, Federico, Ezio and Petruccio, and my house. It’s family! And it’s gonna be okay to get drunk, nobody’s gonna judge, right? Federico and Ezio get drunk ALL the time and nobody bats an eye, and besides, Petruccio is finally 18 and he is legal to drink! So many great things happening this year!” the younger girl chirped in glee, making me groan and lay on the bed completely. “I don’t know what to say...Not my best year.” I smile sardonically, looking up at her. “Oh, fuck that, he was a shithead and you know it! Everybody knows it! He was nothing and WILL be nothing! You deserve a break from all this...This mess, okay? You deserve to be happy and have someone who loves you! And let me tell you, Ezio is head over heels with you! -...Wait...Shit, I shouldn’t have told you that...Urgh.” she facepalmed and started mildly panicking, before giggling awkwardly. “Ezio...The guy who sleeps around and stuff...? Who doesn’t flirt with me or shows even the smallest hint...? Likes me...? Spare me, Claudia. I know he’s your brother, but...Just because he’s your family, doesn’t make him right for me.” I shake my head, getting up, ready to leave the room, but she stops me. “Wait, no, don’t go, please! Look, this was supposed to be a secret, okay? Ezio has been into you since you started hanging out with me and I kept telling you how nice you are, showed him your Facebook and Instagram, would sometimes show him our snaps and so on...I overheard him asking Federico for advice 2 years ago. It’s just...He’s trying to learn more about you so you won’t dislike him, but he’s very shy about actually being himself around you. And he hasn’t been whoring around, actually. So, uhm...If you decide to come over...The party is this Saturday, bring sweets, please. I’ll make sure to make your favourite shots.” she explaiend before letting go of my arm, letting me go home, able to overthink all my life choices.

Should I go? I mean...Ezio IS a lovely person, or at least, that’s what I could see. But so were my Ex’s, at the beginning, and it was all a facade, making everything go down in the flames of hell.

Why must decisions be so complicated?

-----

I get over my shyness and go buy some cookies from the bakery and make my way over to the Auditore Villa, where I had to stay for about 5 minutes in front of the door to convince myself to go for it... So I put my hand on the handle and get in, being greeted by the beautiful smell of Italian cuisine, namely, Pizza.

I go in the kitchen slowly, feeling not very welcomed, but I see the Auditores drinking wine together waiting for the Pizza to get cooked.  They all looked so merry and cheerful together...What the hell was I even doing here, intruding in a family party? What an idiot...

I turned around to slowly make my presence unobserved, but that couldn’t happen because Ezio raised from the table in shock, saying my name a little louder than preferable, making everyone’s attention focus on me.

“Katrina, cara mia, what are you doing here?” Ezio asked, making his way to me. “Uhm...I brought cookies?” I said unsure of myself, looking away. “I asked her to come for our party! I bet you’re happy I did, right, guys?!” she grinned at us, but I could only shoot her a very poisonous glare. “Si, of course we are happy Kat is here! The room suddenly became much brighter!” Ezio cheered, bringing me to the table, letting me sit between me and Claudia. “Uh...Right...Whatever you say.” I mutter, putting the bag of cookies on the table and biting my lip at how awkward I felt, not exactly knowing what to say or do. “Aww, Kat, I’m so happy you are here! Hey, Federico, make the B52 shots, Kat is here so we can celebrate and do party games!” Claudia cheered, making me sweatdrop. “Food first, then alcohol. You’ll just end up sick and with a nasty hangover.” I shrug, trying to look out for her. “Experience?” Petruccio asked in a shy voice. “Yes. Others’ experience. Makes for a ton of entertaining material, if you ask me.” I chuckle softly, only able to gaze in Claudia’s direction. “And what great timing, the pizza’s ready!” Federico chuckled already putting the pizza on the table - One pizza for him, one for Claudia and Petruccio...And one for me and Ezio. Am I reading too much into it, or is there a conspiracy theory going on here? “Ezio did these. He’s the best at making pizza out of everyone here.” Claudia winked, making me roll my eyes in annoyance. “Sure, but I’m the best at Pasta, you can’t deny that.” Federico chuckled, making Ezio laugh.  “Well...Guess Claudia was right. You did a nice job with this.” I admitted in shock at how great it was, especially compared to the ones at pizzerias or restaurants. “100% Italian quality right here, baby!” he fist pumped, making me let out an amused breath. “Bring the shots! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!” Claudia chants, getting joined by Petruccio, while I looked at her with amusement, one of my eyebrows raised in confusion. “Someone’s rather enthusiastic to get drunk. But fine, be that way.”

We went to the living-room, on the carpet, waiting in a circle for Federico to come with the chocolate shots already so we can play our party games, which was basically Truth or Dare for the most part, but we were so lazy or tipsy from the high intake of alcohol (SOME of us) that we preferred to just play Truth or Truth, so we won’t have to get up.

It seems though that Claudia and Petruccio couldn’t hold their liqueur at all, so they became sick and had to go to the bathroom and puke, while Federico, despite being close to drunk himself, had to go take care of them, while I remained wobbly, humming to myself some random songs that came into my mind while cleaning up some of the mess that we made, only to notice that Ezio remained behind as well.

“What are you singing, bella?” he asked randomly, making me turn around at him in slight confusion. “Uh...Just some Christmas songs, I guess. My friends keep singing them, you hear them on the radio too...Kinda got them stuck in mind head, I s’ppose.” I shrug, looking away from him, busying myself as a way to not look rude. “May I ask you something, Kat?” Ezio asks, getting in front of me and resting his arm on the table, looking straight at me. “Uhm...What is it?” I mutter, feeling awkward as hell. “Have you been avoiding me? Have I done something that annoyed you so much that you act so cold with me?” he asked with the most serious, yet puppy looking face I’ve ever seen on him. “I-I didnt avoid you, okay? And if I did, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” I tried to reason with him, but he only shook his head and sighed. “I may be tipsy, but I’m not stupid, Kat. If something that I’m doing is bothering you, then I’d like you to tell me so I can stop, okay?” Ezio pressed the subject, making me rake my fingers through my hair. “Okay, fine, look...I will be straight with you, I guess. I’ve been pondering a lot of things this week and...My head hurts like hell because of it, I have to admit. Claudia invited me to this party just before she let it slip that you have a crush on me or something and since Monday I’ve been trying to sort out my feelings and judgement, and honestly, I don’t know what to say or do. So yeah, sorry for being cold and distant, it wasn’t on purpose or anything, I have nothing against you.” I bit my lip in annoyance, not really up for a heart-to-heart conversation with a person that makes my heart feel like it has a panic attack. “Claudia told me about what happened with those jerks in the past. I can only imagine how bad it would be for you and I can only imagine how bad it must have hurt you that it made you not believe in true love anymore. Before she told me about it, I wanted to try my chance and ask you out very soon, but what chance do I have with someone like you?” he chuckled as his cheeks got faintly pinker. “Uhm...Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” I snorted in mock-amusement, but it made him shake his head vehemently, gripping my shoulders. “You, cara mia, are an amazing person, okay? Beautiful, smart, talented, funny, kind? Literally so perfect? And I’m what? A guy with a pretty face, fabulous hair and a bad reputation.” he shrugged dramatically, making me stifle my laugh. “I don’t know, Ezio, the last guy told me he dated me out of pity. I’m not sure where my self-esteem lies anymore, you feel me?” I give him a self-deprecating half-smile, but it only caused his expression to change from dramatic to offended. “Oddio santo, if I ever see that guy, he’s dead. How dare he treat such a beautiful soul like that? If anything else, you were with him out of pity!” he spoke out, shaking his head. “To be fair...I never actually loved any of my ex’s. Is that sad? I don’t know. You think you like someone, but then you realise that you just made yourself like the person for the sake of a relationship and...When you get to the point when you just want to get the hell out of it, you realise that it was all for nothing. It’s pretty sad, y’know?” I confess, looking away, but from the corner of my eye I could see him nodding slightly. “I know I’m basically out of your league, but would you let me show you that true love exists? Would you allow me to help you believe in it again?” Ezio leans in closer to me, one of his hands on my face, caressing it gently, as I leaned into his touch by reflex, as he let out an amused, adoring breath. “I mean...What’s the worst thing that could happen anyways? It can’t get any worse than what I’ve already been through, so...Okay, Ezio, do your magic.” I smile timidly, looking away. “Trust me, mi fiore, I won’t make regret it.” he ushered as he cupped my face and leaned in, planting a long and loving kiss on my lips, as I could only put my hands on his chest, too out of it to know what to do. “W-Well...I’m pretty sure I won’t regret it.” I managed to say after a while. “Oh~? Did you like that, Kitten?” Ezio teased me, as I could only chuckle shyly, nudging him slightly. “Hey, I mean, compared to my first kiss, that was a tongue-forced one, in front of a public toilet...This was heavenly, okay?” I cover my mouth with my hand as I laugh at the stupid memory, only to have my hand snatched away and kissed by the Italian boy. “And it will only get better from here on. Also, I’m so happy Claudia told Federico about that shot mix, ‘cause chocolate tastes so good on your lips.” he smirks, but he wasn’t expecting me putting my hands on his neck to steal a quick kiss from him, leaving him stunned and blushing. “Awww, I guess I have competition, ‘cause you sure tasted so damn sweet too~.” I wink at him playfully before chuckling at how adorable he looked. “Ay ay ay, cara mia, you’re going to be the death of me.” was the last thing he could say before we went to check on the others, who apparently all fell asleep.

I suppose...Sometimes it’s nice to face your fears and be brave in your decision to take risks and have such a nice win.

And so much more free, 100% genuine Italian pizza!

[jambud-universe]

   Hey, so I know I’m gonna be talking about a sensitive subject with this, and i know it might start some controversy stuff, but i’ve been holding this in for a year now or so and i just really had to get it out. I do not intend to offend anyone, i just would like to be heard out if thats okay.

  I should start this out with my drawing, and steven and connie’s relationship.  Steven and Connie’s relationship is heterosexual, or at least heteroromantic since they’re not at the age for intimacy yet (Connverse is basically canon so i think its safe to say they have a relationship). Now, I,myself am a straight girl, so i guess it’d be obvious i have a better interest in straight relationships over queer ones. But do i only like connverse because it’s a hetero ship? of course not! I like steven and connie for how they are together and alone. They’re both well written characters,and have a great connection with eachother. Pretty much in the beginning, it started out as steven having a crush on connie and didn’t know how to talk to her,but eventually they started a true and wonderful friendship together, as well as developing a cute romance once they got to know eachother better. They’re both just two young people who feel innocent and blissful when they’re singing or dancing or just hanging out together. I can go on with more examples,but if you’re a connverse shipper you should know what im talking about.

    So, about the drawing. It’s in black in white,which are the colors of the straight flag (im not sure if its official or not). Which might be taken as a micro-aggression against the gay flag,but i dont see it that way. I see it as a symbol of the Yin-Yang sign (which i’ve always seemed to have an interest in). Since the (Yin) black side represents women,the moon,calmness, and submissiveness. And the (Yang) white side represents men,the sun,pride, and dominance. Together they stand for the power of two different forces, and how they complement eachother,yet are so different. Bringing a unique balance to the world (or relationship).  I think steven and connie’s relationship is a really important example of heterosexual relationships, especially in this day and age since its really hard to see a relationship in the media that isn’t just based on attraction and not actual chemistry.

     I think it’s important since the show has two different relationships that are pretty similar, steven and connie which are straight, and ruby and sapphire which are gay. I think i like it for displaying both relationships with a fair amount of ups and downs, with the love thats obviously there. I like the idea of portraying both gay and straight people equally because, they are. Who you are as a person shouldn’t be judged on your sexuality, but people should like you for who you are as an individual. The show displays both straight and gay relationship in a normal and healthy way, and i really like that.

   So this is kinda where it gets personal about me, so i do not mean to hurt anyone if i say something wrong. I wasn’t always straight (believe it or not) when i was like 5 i remember equally considering the possibilities of being in a relationship with both boys and girls, hell i even remember having the mindset that if two guys get together,they have a son,and if two girls get together they have a daughter,and a guy and a girl could have either. When i was around middle school or so i never really felt attracted to anyone (my anxiety keeps me away from people anyways) so i was aromantic but i felt more comfortable considering myself straight and not queer, since i didnt feel like i needed to group myself, and it wasnt a big transition or anything, thats just how it was i guess. I’m just straight now since my now boyfriend (who i love with all my heart,and basically have a relationship like connverse with him) admitted he liked me and i just said “fuck it, you’re nice so i’d like to see where this goes”.  All this stuff has been simple to me, and it never felt like a big transition to me really.

What motivated me to speak out now is that originally, i wanted to see if there was some straight appreciation, or gay-straight alliance day where i can post this, but all i got where tweets and posts just saying some really offensive stuff. I saw this one thing posted (as a joke) talking about a terrorist attack (or something similar) in a gay bar with the tag “happy heterosexual pride day”. Which, is just repulsive, basically calling everyone confident about being straight a terrorist, making a joke out of it, and taking a horrible tragedy of people dying as a joke to make instead of doing something positive for those in the community who were hurt. For years now, i’ve seen posts passively joking and stereotyping straight people,which for one is insulting an entire group of people for their sexuality, and thats just kinda ironic since im sure gay jokes are offensive, i find them offensive too. And then right after they make posts like this they say shit like “heterophobia doesn’t exist” which really ticks me off since that in itself is an example of people thinking “or you’re straight so you don’t face any hardships in the world and have a perfect relationship with your family and are healthy and not misunderstood in any other way”  i’ve seen this shit a lot, and i’m mentally disabled,i’ve been abused by my family physically,mentally and sexually, i guess its just ironic to me,though its not noticed as much but straight people still get shit at them and blamed for things they didnt do. And hell,i waited a year,and i still feel bad just saying how i feel.Maybe its just a personal thing and all im doing is finding some shit to rant about because im an asshole,if you want, you can minimize my feelings to that.  I know hardly anyone would hear me out,let alone understand.

I’m not saying there should be a straight pride day,since that’d be pointless, but i’d like a straight-gay appreciation thing, because both sides have people who are innocent and would like to seek equality. I just believe that would help seek past conflict, and maybe calm down some aggression in some way. I know the queer community has been through a lot and is still struggling, and while that is awful, that doesnt mean every straight person is homophobic or rude, though i know a lot of people these days are and i believe it will get better in the future and hope people of any sexuality will be equal.

Again, i didn’t mean any offense to anyone, and if you’re queer and made it this far, i hope your life gets better if you’re going through any struggles, same goes to anyone reading this who needs some cheering up. the last thing i want to do is hurt anyone.  you’ve been really kind to have read this far in my nonsense,and for that, i respect you for listening to me.💜

[cool-kink-sis]

Lucas having BPD (borderline personality disorder)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-almost-effect/201405/men-borderline-personality-disorderY’know I always wondered why Zoe calling Lucas a perv was ranked so bad in his eyes that it was in his ‘Fuck you’ List, alongside being hit in the face by his dad! I’d say that was the worst one. 

So he glanced in to see what Zoe was doing and she (probably jokingly) called him a perv since I imagine she was in a weird yoga position.

I looked up some stuff on bpd and saw a few things that made me think of Lucas. (I’m no expert at all on this, so i am sorry if I offend or get things wrong, feel free to chip in.)  Here are a few examples of how BPD manifests itself in men:

1. Aggressively thin skinned. Clearly, judging from the fuck you list, Lucas is since he gets angry at being yelled at cos he said something about his mother’s cooking, Zoe calling him a perv got an angry reaction. I won’t count the other two because I’d get angry and upset having my drunk dad take my things and lock them away from me and slapping me in the face,

2. Holding grudges. Woo, boy. Considering that fuck you list has the date on it and says 2014 edition, i think its obv he has other years written down and stored away somewhere too.

3. Possessive but detached. Also i found this quote: “ People with borderline feel empty, and they are always trying to fight off what they perceive as rejection and abandonment, so they see abandonment and rejection where it doesn’t necessarily exist. They’re so afraid of being alone, abandoned, or left, or people breaking up with them, that they sense it where it doesn’t exist and they need tons of reassurance.”

Not sure about this for our boy but the detached part he has down pat, glued to his phone when a small girl was rescued, hell he didnt even bother opening the door for his mother in the beginning of Daughters, he was stood closest and yet let Marguerite walk from the livingroom, across the kitchen to open it.

He could be possessive in the fact that he still lives there but I think I’m stretching that.

4. Rejecting relationships. He doesn’t seem to have any friends, none are mentioned, and he is pretty anti-social.

5. Substance Abuse It said on the website that some people with bpd abuse psychotropic medications, drink or smoke pot  as a means of anesthetizing the free-floating anxiety in their head.

We saw a Lucas database that listed some of his crimes and one was drugs, it might be before Eveline was there as a part of the ‘bad rumours’ to do with Lucas.

There are medication pills in the bathroom in the main house(in Daughters before infection), no one else in the family has had notes or said anything about when they used to be ill or anything, but Lucas had notes to say about Marguerite taking him to the doctors so that couldn’t have been for nothing.

6. Hallucinations Adding to the bewilderment of the disorder, people struggling with borderline personality disorder might sometimes feel as though they leave their bodies during times of stress and can’t recall what happened. These severe periods of dissociation only add to their unstable sense of self. Similarly, and equally disturbing, are periods of hallucinations that can occur during times of stress or depression.

Oliver....Need i say more?

The overall theme for this disorder is rapid and unpredictable changes in a person’s thoughts, moods, behaviours, relationships, and beliefs. Intense emotions such as fear, hurt, anxiety, anger, sadness, and shame can last for a few hours to as long as a few days. (Hence the grudge holding).

I can’t honestly see him being so manically happy and passionate like some of these websites say and i’m only hazarding a guess but maybe his medication stop that, so he doesn’t mood swing anymore but he’s kinda stuck in moodiness most of the time anyway.

I honestly wanna know what everyone thinks of this so imma tag you and let you ignore, ramble or cry over the poor boy from here lol @kittenstorm @witch-of-the-west-country @nightsatkendalls @gomakeawaffle @lucasbakerishot If Ive missed anyone that please someone tag them in.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-almost-effect/201405/men-borderline-personality-disorder https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/blog/what-you-need-to-know-when-dating-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder/#sthash.lkQhn5Ii.dpbs

https://www.newharbinger.com/psychsolve/borderline-personality-disorder I DID NOT GOOGLE ABUT DATING SOMEONE WITH BPD JUST COS I THOUGHT LUCAS MIGHT HAVE IT SHUT UP