#like her staying married to an abuser for years to protect him omg she deserves the world

[nomattertheoceans]

I've been reading the Percy Jackson books for the first time over the past two weeks! Just finished "The Battle of the Labyrinth" last night (which btw is my favorite of the series so far!!)

I have now gained a new obsession but it might not be what you think

[thegreymoon]

Love Like the Galaxy

Oh, Yuanyi, what does it say about you as a mother when your fifteen-year-old shows up at an acquaintance’s house looking for protection, all battered and bruised, and everyone assumes it was you who did it 🙄

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OMG, did Mr ~I-Don’t-Eat-At-Other-People’s-Houses~ Zisheng just invite himself over for dinner as the host was pointing him towards the door? 🤣🤣

The power of Niaoniao!! 

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LMAO, look at her perking up at the prospect of learning how to ride a horse!

I hope Wan Qiqi gets to marry one of her brothers, it’s going to be chaos! 🤣🤣

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Loving Grandmother Wan! 😍

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Oh, shut up, you doormat.

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Yes! Say it! Speak up for Niaoniao!

No wonder Qiqi has a nice shiny spine! She inherited it all from you!

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Wait, so she has 13 daughters?? 🤣🤣

Poor woman! I just wish I could take the modern knowledge we have about who decides a baby’s sex and smack all these ancient people blaming women for giving birth to girls over the head with it. 

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LMAOOOO, so he invited himself to stay the night??

He’s so gone 🤣🤣

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They are stupid cute, look at them! I love them so much 🤗🤗

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LMAOOOO at these fools eavesdropping on their conversation about men 😂

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Aw, baby 😢

Your mother didn’t teach you anything because she is incompetent and also because she wants to see you fail. But, look! Your future husband is spying on you, and he is a general, and an aristocrat, and a hero! He is anything but simple and he will worship the ground you walk on! Your future is much brighter than you think! 

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Good for you!

Run, baby, run in the opposite direction like your heels are on fire! 

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‘Fiend’, LMAO 

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Cuties 🖤

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LMAO, opportunist 😂😂

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I’m dying 🤣🤣

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Oh, so you stayed the night because of the map, did you 🤣🤣

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LMAO, no search warrants needed in ancient China when your name is Ling Buyi! 🤣🤣

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LMAO, she’s going to stir up so much trouble 🤣🤣

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I love her so much 🤣🤣

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LMAO, he brought you there to help a certain Fourth Lady Cheng drown as many of them as possible 😂😂

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I died laughing 🤣🤣

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THEIR FACES 🤣🤣

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Look at this adorable gremlin! The look of pure bliss on her face! 🤣🤣

I am dead and buried 🤣🤣

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That’s what you get for trying to drown Yangyang!

Everything that you can do, Niaoniao can do ten times better! 🤣🤣

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Look at these two drowned rats, having the worst day!

Much deserved! 🤣 Much, much deserved!! 🤣🤣

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Shed some blood? Jesus. With parents like these, who needs enemies?

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Coward. Self-serving hypocrite.

The only thing worse than an abuser are their enablers. 

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The way she just politely told her to fuck herself 🔥🔥

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Shut up, bitch. You’re the literal worst. 

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LMAO, some loss! 

When did you ever take care of her to begin with? You abandoned her as an infant, came back fifteen years later, and the little time you did spend trying to act like a mother all went into abusing and belittling her. Go fuck yourself. 

***

Mte.

The thing that gets me about Yuanyi is that she’s so pissed off everyone is calling her out on her atrocious treatment of this child, she’d rather renounce her daughter than admit that she’s wrong because she’s just that kind of abusive, narcissistic bitch. Leaving with Third Uncle and Aunt can only be good for Niaoniao. Fuck mothers like this. 

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LMAO, poor Ling Buyi, he just can’t catch a break 😅

And he probably thinks he’s managed to worm his way into her good graces because he helped her lure those stupid geese onto that bridge.

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Fuck you, bitch.

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LMAO, what planet are you living on?

What kindest heart? She’s an abusive narcissist who can’t stand being questioned, no matter how cruel and unjust she is. Heartless is more like it.

[khaleesiofalicante]

GUESS WHO'S BAAAACCCCCKKKKKK

THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S ME!

LEMME JUST SAY the number of times you've made me cry with your fics isn't even funny anymore...

ok ok ok but LEXI OMG SHE'S SUCH A HERONDALE SDYJCDCGYGYCDGYUYUGZSDGYUGYUACGYUMSGYUMSZD I LOVE HER SO MUCH

And "Jason talk dirty to me" is the best way to start a fic, I said what I said.

Don't we all hate zoom meetings? I know I sure do and I have class in 5 and a half hours (i woke up at 1 am...don't even question it). Technically i was gonna try and go back to sleep when I remembered HOLY SHIT LBAF FUCK SLEEP I CAN STAY UP

Also...KIERARKTINA CHILDREN XSUHSGYDSDGJM IM SCREAMING. At first, i was like...one child...TWO CHILD???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Patrick...I never really knew the guy well but Aline is grieving LEAVE ME ALONE TO CRY

Lexi wrinkled her nose at the name. “I have a message for you.”

“You love me more than mom?” Jace asked.

THE WAY SHE SAID YES WITHOUT HESITATION

but seriously though...do silent brothers wear clothing under their robes...?

ALL THAT FORESHADOWING ABOUT "Darker times" IM SCARED AND I ALSO BELIEVE THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE COHORT.

“I’m not a child!” Lexi protested.

You are seven years old, brother Enoch pointed out. He had been there to place the protection charms after the twins had been born.

If Jace didn’t know any better he’d say the silent brother was sassing her.

But Lexi was a Herondale.

“I’m 49 in dog years!” Lexi huffed.

You are not a dog, Alexandra.

“Daddy said I can be anything I want to be,” Lexi stuck out her tongue. “I’m a dog. A very old dog. Woof!”

Brother Enoch turned to him as if to say, ‘control your Herondale spawn’.

HERONDALE SPAWN.

There is so much going on in these lines BUT LEXI IS A WHOLE ASS MOOD YES BESTIE IF YOU WANNA BE A DOG THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE!! WOOF

Jace knew many children had been orphaned by the war with the cohort - like Diego’s daughter, who had been adopted from the Chennai Institute.

This part scared me because for a second I was like "IS DIEGO DEAD??????" before I read on and my mind caught on.

ok on to my second favorite character right after Lexi

DAVID MY CHILD I SAY WE KILL ALBERT. SCREW THE PRISON I'M GONNA BURN THIS BITCH ALIVE

THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF HIM. DAVID IS A CHILD HONESTLY FUCK YOU. I WAS SO ANGRY THIS LITTLE SHIT HOW DARE HE.

I just wanna squeezes David into a bear hug ill protect him from now.

THE FAIRCHILD-HERONDALE FAMILY IM GONNA SCREAM

THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS ISTG AHDGYJDYUKCYDVYGDJHVCGYJMDV

Max stamped his foot on the ground, because he liked to be theatrical about everything

Im sure we all know where he gets it from...

“Shall we go check on the little miscreants?”

“Max and Rafe aren’t that bad,” Jace replied faithfully.

“I was talking about your girls,” Magnus grinned. “My boys are literal angels.”

“One of them is a warlock,” Jace pointed out. “With demon blood.”

“You know your family descended from Tessa, right?” Magnus asked. “Your children have demon blood too.”

“Yikes, no wonder people want us gone,” Jace chuckled and Magnus chuckled with him.

THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION THEY HAVE COME SO FAR ISTG IM GONNA CRY

“Did you know there is a trick to find out if kids are really sleeping?”

“A magic trick?” Jace asked.

“Yes,” Magnus winked. “You see…When kids are asleep, really asleep, they put up right hand. Only parents know of this secret.”

Rafael and Selena remained still, his little celery still snoring gently.

Max’s hand slowly went up and Lexi’s followed.

A bark of laughter escaped Jace, and Magnus shushed him.

“Miscreants!” Jace whispered.

“I told you so!” Magnus chuckled.

“I know of another secret. I heard the Consul has a new punishment for kids who lie,” Jace said. “They apparently have to eat Izzy’s food.”

The hands flopped back into bed immediately and Magnus covered his mouth to control his laughter.

THE DOMESTICITY OF THIS SCENE OH MY GOD

also TIAN!! ISTG IF WE DON'T SEE HIM IN TWP OR TEC 3 MARRIED AND HAPPY WITH JIN FENG IM GONNA BE VERY SAD

“Damn, I would have gladly punched you in the face, Herondale. Next time, ask for volunteers.”

Damn bestie-

“This is ridiculous! I didn’t do anything!” Albert yelled and looked at the brother Enoch. “You saw what they did, right?”

I’m a silent brother, Albert. I can’t see. Surely you know that.

Exactly you blind fuck.

we got Jace and alec brotp bonding leave me alone to cry in a corner. the fact that shadowhunters don't have laws protecting children like wtf is wrong with you people

“Alexandra,” his parabatai interrupted. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” “Shouldn’t you be in Los Angeles?” Lexi countered.

LEXI AYUAHGUSUSUGWDCDGD,DCGKSDYG,SDGSCDH.

“Max is awake?” Magnus was alert now.

“And Max is hungry!!!” the boy walked into the room.

Live footage of me every morning (or evening. or night. depends on my sleep schedule)

DAVID LEGIT HAD A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT MOMENT MY PRECIOUS

HE NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

“Oh my god, who is this?” Max yelled and jumped straight into the bed, right next to David. “Are you a shadowhunter? Where are you from? Your eyes are so blue! My daddy has blue eyes too! Wait, I also have blue eyes! We both have blue eyes!”

Max- PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

“Yay!” Lexi yelled. “You could pretend to be my other twin.”

“Then you would be triplets,” Alec mumbled quietly. “Not twins.”

Oh shush

“Our people are not going to like this, Alec,” Jace pointed out.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Alec said unapologetically. “I’m the Consul.”

YES BITCH SHOW THEM

I really hope Albert does have to come crawling back and have his marks stripped.

“Is that...Is that a stubble?” Jace asked when something prickled his cheek.

“Yes.”

"Are you growing a beard?" Jace inquired sceptically.

"Yes."

“Gross. I don’t like it,” Jace complained.

“Too bad. Cause I do.”

“I’m going to tell Magnus to shave it off while you are asleep,” Jace muttered.

“Jokes on you. He likes it too.”

Jace weren't you starting to grow a beard in TDA as well-

no, but I'm with Jace on this one.

“So, I heard an interesting story from Magnus when I came in,” his wife said, coming out of her bathroom, wiping her face with a towel. “You adopted a kid, I hear? Your parabatai is really rubbing off on you, huh?”

It's the alec affect bestie.

“He only said there is a child at the institute who needs my help. At first, I thought he was talking about you.”

I-

Jace trying to find David a new last name was so goddamn sweet I'm crying in a corner. And David choosing to keep his name as a reminder that he survived??? TEARS

Selena had learned Spanish so she can talk to Rafael. Then she had learned French just because she could.

Oh to be good at languages...

“It means darling,” Jace corrected and then beamed. “But wait! It also means cabbage! David, you are going to be my little cabbage.”

Lexi, Selena, and Clary groaned in unison.

“You’ll have to deal with this, David,” Clary said apologetically, not letting go of the boy. “Lexi is Lettuce. Selena is Celery and I’m Carrot.”

AJHHUHYUCDJILSDYVGILCQBCDHCUOUCEDCCSCUHKK SCREAMING

DAVID YOU ARE GONNA BE EATING PIZZA TONIGHT SCREW VEGETABLES.

THE LIBRARY SLEEPOVER!!! SQUEALS. I LOVE READING TOO I WANNA JOIN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was so long wtf-

and I guess I don't truly understand what it's like to be a child abuse victim but to all those who can hurt a child and not feel anything...I hope they fucking pay for what they do. All those kids who survive are so goddamn strong but why the fuck does one have to go through so much shit and people be like "oh you came out stronger" sure bitch but they didn't deserve this shit in the first place. i might be saying it wrong but we seriously need more strict laws against this kind of shit.

damn, I curse a lot. SEE YA ON FRIDAY BYE

Me scrolling through this entire liveblog like:

Thank you so much. It made my day! I love reading reactions!!! (lol you know that)

I am so glad you like the first chapter. And I curse a lot too so issokay ;)

And thank you for that last point. It's what we need more of in this world - empathy and understanding x.

And we definitely need better laws - but these laws also need to be implemented correctly - without judgment and with efficiency.

We have a long way to go just like the shadowhunters oof.

[singingforthepromises]

fb manga lb - chs 90-95

I’m only going to be reading the manga up until this point for now, assuming that this is where s2 will end. I want to leave the rest of the manga for after the season ends so I still have something to look forward to during the break between seasons 2 and 3. With Covid, I’m assuming it’s going to be quite a while before we get the last season. So I want to enjoy this journey for as long as possible. If they end up going beyond this chapter, I’ll make sure to read further, but for right now I think this is a good stopping point, unless you guys think they’re going to adapt more or leave off somewhere else? O: 

We going into Kyoko’s backstory now apparently!

“I feel like imprinting all of her images into my brain, and forgetting everything else not related to her.” OH MY GOD. MY HEART?? This is peak romance. Kyo only wants to hold onto his memories of Tohru while he’s in confinement. 

Poor Kyo getting messed with lmao leave the boy alone

No, but... imagine how Kyo feels right now in this moment? Tohru has the DVD, the memories of Kyo in the play tangible right in front of her. I’m sure that Kyo is thinking of his future, of the fact that once he’s confined Tohru will never see him again, and having these DVDs will be a comfort to her. He doesn’t know that she’s trying to pursue a way to break the curse. So having this DVD, for Tohru, in Kyo’s eyes, is the best possible way for him to stay with her. I’m reaching, yeah, but that’s just how I’m choosing to view it rofl. 

He’s thinking about Kyoko I’m upset.

Kyo, sweetie... stop punishing yourself, please. You are allowed to be happy, you are allowed to wish to be with Tohru. You are allowed to think of her mother. Fuck what Akito told you. :( 

I can’t wait until Tohru learns that Kyo knew her mom. I don’t think she’d be the type to blame him for what happened to her. As it is, I don’t feel that Kyo had a ‘role’ in her death, anyway. He didn’t outright kill her. Perhaps he saw it, maybe he could’ve stopped it, I don’t know. But I don’t think it was his fault. Kyo has a massive inferiority and guilt complex (which is understandable after all of the abuse he’s suffered) and he’d blame himself no matter what, though.

Young Kyoko is something else rofl. But of course, she had a terrible past too. What awful parents. I think I can count on one hand the number of actual good or decent parents that this series has. 

Oooh is this Katsuya? He definitely looks like an older version of Kyo lmao.

This age gap though is kinda... yikes? I wonder if the anime will try and lessen it a bit. I don’t think they will, though, since it was mentioned that Kyoko never went to high school. 

Kyoko’s parents fucking S U C K.

GO OFF KATSUYA!!

I meaannn... marriage is so odd for a young girl Kyoko’s age, and it has a big “:/” factor, but...at the same time, if he marries her, she’’s no longer under her parents, and he can provide for her. 

Wow, she’s already pregnant with Tohru! O: 

omg baby Tohru is the CUTEST!

Katsuya was such a good dad though I’m upset.

Tohru was gonna have a sibling sfjsjfsjfjsfj she’d be the best big sister!

Oh this is just depressing. T__T

Poor Kyoko. She’s still so young, and is trying to grieve and raise a daughter.

omg she really was about to kill herself to be with Katsuya. T__T

Tohru is just the purest girl and I love her so much.

I love it so much that Kyoko told Kyo this story. 

Oh, Kyo, honey that isn’t what she was trying to say at all. :(

omg is he remembering?!

Oh, great, now Kyo’s hallucinating and suffering from ptsd. I hate it!

HE’S IMAGINING SOMETHING BAD HAPPENING TO TOHRU BECAUSE OF HIM IM OUT IM DONE ;A;

“Tohru, she.... she wouldn’t... to me... like me...” YES SHE DOES YOU ADORABLE IDIOT.

 “After seeing that dream, it means I can’t go near her anymore.” stop. Stop right there, bby. 

This hurts.

omg is Yuki involving himself in them cooking now too? I love it!

YUKI AND MACHIII YESSSS. I’m excited to see where they go!

Poor Machi. </3

Machi sees through Yuki’s walls in the same way that Kyo sees through Tohru’s. <333 And Yuki brings Machi out of her shell. 

omg she’s embarrassed lol 

lmao Kakeru getting protective + supportive at the same time hahahha

OMG KYO AND TOHRU ARE SLEEPING OVER AT KAZUMAS SJFJSFJSJF

Yuki is... going to the main house? I’m shocked tbh and nervous

LMAO YUKI AND SHIGURE ARE REALLY OUT HERE BEING KYORU SHIPPERS

KDGKDKG RIN IS HERE TOO!

hahahaha Kyo and Rin were jealous of each other’s relationship with Kazuma. XDDD

Poor Hatori XD

I don’t like that Yuki is visiting Akito. :/ Something bad is gonna happen. 

“I forgive Akito too!” .... uh...??? Yuki, honey, I really respect that. But I’m confused? 

AKITO JUST THREW A FUCKING VASE AT YUKI

“I definitely will not come back to your side.” Oooh. Was Yuki giving Akito one last indulgence? 

I love Yuki’s growth so much. Maybe it’s because of my own abuse, but while I am proud of Yuki’s capability to forgive, I know I couldn’t - because I still haven’t. And Akito hasn’t done anything to try and deserve that forgiveness yet. Also, Yuki is just shedding off the blame others had and taking it all upon himself which is... wrong. How he was treated by others, as a child, was not his fault. I hate that he feels he has to forgive Akito because he thinks he’s the one at fault. It’s okay to be angry and hateful of your abusers? 

OMG that scene between Hatori and Yuki was cute af though. 

“Kyo, you’re so cute!” IM

“Do you have any wishes for the new year?” I’m sad af.

Tohru’s wish is for them to break the curse!

Awww Rin and Haru are soo cute!

[coldtomyflash]

Things I would Do Different if I Re-Wrote AATJS

This is random but while getting job apps done this week I’ve been rereading AATJS (because why not - I’ve never actually read it after it was done) and thinking back on conversations I’ve had about it, reading comments on it, and I’ve come to a few conclusions.

So eh, dumping my thoughts here for any interested parties :)

(major spoilers for the end of the fic under the cut!)

Big Changes

There’s only a few broad / large scale changes I would make, I think, and they all feed into one another.

There’s some stuff with how the climax occurs that isn’t well foreshadowed within the fic. Or if it’s foreshadowed, the narrative still doesn’t build up to it properly.

A main thing I would change would be to introduce the notion of metagenes much sooner and talk about it as something Caitlin is researching actively. Bring it up early in the fic and leave it there. When Barry is searching for metas to warn about the military, maybe have them discuss using a search based on genetics but toss it aside as too much of a violation of privacy and too danger to have a list like that. Have him actually get to interact with the meta he goes searching for at the circus (when he and Len run into James Jesse in the fic) to make the theme of metas more prominent throughout. In this way, I’d also introduce the military element a little sooner / stronger, and Dr. Eilias.

Feeding into that, I have serious changes I would make to the Hartley / James storyline. Right now, it’s uncomfortable to me. I did my damn best not to make it abuse-apologist after I wrote James’ behavior as totally deplorable, but at the end of the day, the narrative still advocates: “if you think they’ve changed, take them back”. It’s not a narrative I want to advocate, regardless of how sincere James’s changes are in the fic. And there are reasons I wrote that storyline the way I did that deal with people in my life, but honestly, it’s bullshit and I kind of hate how it fell out.

What I’d do instead is make Hartley’s Soulmate someone else. Some abusive asshole who had serious internalized homophobia and never really dealt with it. And I’d have Hartley as having left him, except they’d stay separated. I would use Hartley both as a cautionary tale (”soulmates don’t always end up together”) but also give him a better ending with a more beautiful theme to it: he’d end up with James anyway, except James would be Unmarked. He’d be someone else that Hartley falls in love with, maybe someone from the circus or else an additional Rogue struggling to come to terms with his identity as he starts to fall for Hartley from the sidelines while Hartley’s busy flirting with Len. Maybe I’d make him a meta (and not use James Jesse, idk) to fit with that theme. But he wouldn’t be Hartley’s Soulmate, and the lesson would be: “you can fall in love with someone else and never see your Soulmate again and still be happy and fulfilled.” Because honestly, that to me is a much more powerful storyline.

This would also allow me to introduce the notions of NAB Blockers and Breaking Bonds much sooner and in a much bigger way. Hartley would be contemplating Breaking his Bond with his Soulmate, but he hasn’t been able to go through with it yet. Sometime in the middle of the fic’s narrative, or at least after things with him and Len shake out and after he becomes a Rogue, Hartley would Break his Bond. Then we would know it’s possible and would learn about Dr. Elias’s research here.

(For the record, all of this would up the “consequences” element for Barry and Len sorting their shit out, though that’s not the sole reason for doing it, of course).

Speaking of Barry and Len, there’s a few things I would change there. For one, I would make it clearer up front some of the extra stuff Barry is dealing with which only gets revealed later in the fic. I might drop the “there’s an alternate future / timeline where he married Iris, a la season 1 newspaper″ storyline altogether because it’s... bumpy. But I’d acknowledge that he’s still getting over his love for Iris and watching her and Eddie be together and have that life and have a kid is tough on him. I’d acknowledge up front and quick that it’s only been about a month since Len’s betrayal at Ferris Air, and that’s a huge part of why Barry is struggling to trust Len and worried at the outset. I’d make it clearer that he’s still re-grieving his mother and conflicted over how things shook out with Eobard and laboring to get his life in order.

And I’d make it clear very quickly that Barry is struggling to protect everyone. I think I would use Joe a lot more in the fic for this (a lot more in the first half in general). Have scenes after Joe’s leg got injured where Barry is wracked with guilt over how things went at the gala. Show more of Barry’s fear that he can’t protect Len from the rest of the shit in his life, including maybe a nightmare about Joe shooting Len (because if the cold field hadn’t been in place, well, that pretty much almost happened). Just... give more evidence of Barry’s motives and not play up the self-deception and repression stuff so much, or else make better use of the perspectives of those around him to showcase his conflict if he himself isn’t understanding what’s going on in his own head.

Minor Changes

Some people won’t think this is a minor change, but I think it ultimately is: I’d give Barry and Len back their bleed at the end, after a fashion.

I always intended for it to break. For Barry to tell Len he loves him only after there’s nothing in place that Len could possibly ‘blame’ for keeping Barry at his side or for distorting how Barry feels about him. I actually think that’s important, and kind of stand by that decision still. It seriously wasn’t done for shock value or to hurt the reader. Subverting the soulmate tropes? Yes. But with a lot of forethought.

But. I think I’d give it back. I’d make their Mark turn into a Widow Mark (it’s not specified in the fic currently but it never does go black, and I’d change that) but like Caitlin and Ronnie, I’d have some measure of the bleed return to them, after a bit. I’d give a bit more space at the end to flesh that out, I think, too. The end was a bit rushed. I was just so ready to be done with the long fucking thing that AATJS is and I write very quick resolutions post-climax as a general rule, but I think it needed a bit more than I gave it.

So yeah, I’d have it start to flutter and return. Maybe not as strong, maybe stunted. “A little scarred and jagged, just like us.” It would be nice, right? And I’d do it even maybe just shortly after the love confession, even. Because while it’s sort of a picture-perfect happy ending... after all the complete and utter bullshit and heaviness of the fic, they sort of deserve that? (i.e., you can tell I was pretty depressed when I first started writing this, I think....)

Another minor change I’d make is about their discussions on kids. I wouldn’t change much except to make Len’s issues on it clearer, him seriously wanting kids, always wanting kids, but not letting himself want them. I’d introduce that to his cognitions before Barry ever bringing it up, I think, but make it clear that Len’s in total denial about it.

I’d also change... something about Kane. I’m not sure what, exactly. Because there’s a serious issue in the fic with the whole “lesbians always die” trope. Because there’s Pam and Angie, who lived a long and happy life but ultimately are both dead by the end of the fic, even if they died of old age. And there’s Bette and Kane, who never even got to be together before Bette died. And that’s... so shitty I hate it. I don’t know what I’d fix about it because I love Pam and Angie so much and I like what Pam’s existence brings to the story via Mick, and I love Kane and her motivations help humanize her and what she’s been through at Eiling and Elias’s hand but... I’m still somewhat dissatisfied. So I’d fix something in there.

And the most minor of changes: I’d never in a million years include such cringe-worthy attempts to use random words from other languages from both Hartley and James’ PoVs, especially swear words. Like wtf, why. Just why. That’s a trope I learned from fic and while showcasing bilingualism is great, or having Hartley spout off random Latin phrases when appropriate is in character, I really went about it so poorly. So sorry, guys. It’s just... cringeworthy.

Conclusion

That’s all of them off the top of my head. Some of these came about just due to hindsight (the Hartley and James stuff, the making motives and mindsets clearer) and some came about because they’re Bad Tropes I became aware of either during or after writing it. Some are because I knew more or less that, for instance, the military was going to abduct Len and do something with his Bond/NAB to mess with Barry’s head and ultimately the Bond would break, but I didn’t actually have the military’s motives pinned down until right before I worked on that arc of the fic. So there’s a lot of meandering and not a lot of proper build into the specifics there, with a lot of details introduced right at that arc toward the end. That’s just something that happens that means things inherently will improve on re-writing.

Not that I ever intend to re-write that monster (omg I would never have the time or energy) but it’s always good to take an honest look at your writing, and I figured it might even help other writers out there if I candidly shared some major changes my fic could use to improve :) Because we can all always improve.

And hey, if I ever decide to take this fic and turn it into an original work (probably dropping the metahuman element but supplanting it with something else... I’ve genuinely mapped out how I’d write it as an original work), then at least I know what the structure would look like :