#like how much does she really know about trying to navigate this kind of relationship….cori might actually be the slightly more experienced

[scionshtola]

daydreaming about cori and shtola have a little fling in ARR that ends bc shtola has Feelings and is freaked out by the fact that cori might reciprocate those feelings…but then cori becomes her one that got away…as a little treat. for me.

[catty-words]

hi cori!! you've spoken in the past about how you loved what season 3 did for devi and ben, so i'm wondering if you felt like devi and paxton were done justice too? i've seen that most benvi shippers were satisfied with season 3, but most daxton shippers were really angry, not just because they broke up but because of how it happened. do you think their relationship was given its dues in s3?

oh, i love this question, thank you !

in short, no, i don't think they were done justice. but i also don't think they were done dirty.

the longer answer: i think the broad strokes work and work well, but the bottom line is that the relationship deserved an entire season dedicated to its deconstruction.

i've yet to really lay out my case for this, but something that niggles at my brain when i'm rewatching season three is that it feels like the rightful emotional continuation of season one's story. like, some of season two's fingerprints are on season three - in the obvious places like aneesa, nirmala, and mr. k being prominent figures in the story - but when it comes to devi's story, season two contributed nothing that season three doesn't do more effectively.

so, we should have just skipped to that, right?

i remember when the season two trailer dropped, i was downright elated by "i have two boyfriends." it felt like the perfectly devi response to the season one cliffhanger, and it really is, what i'm about to say next doesn't negate the fact that greedy fits devi like a glove and i'm obsessed with it for her. but -

the objectively correct storytelling response to the season one cliffhanger is to have devi pick paxton.

because paxton is "the dream," right? he is everything season one devi wanted, and devi's not the kind of person who lets go easily - that's, like, her most important character trait throughout season one. expecting that ben exists as an immovable pillar in her life because that's literally always been true to her, devi would pounce on the chance to have something with paxton, who is ephemeral and always just out of her grasp. with devi choosing paxton right away, we'd then get to spend a whole season two slowly unpacking "the dream," and how living her ideal does and does not solve her identity issues.

(benvi has a much better story this way, too, by the way. them trying to navigate what they mean to each other now, the pining, the way ben's uncertainty in relation to devi would mirror devi's uncertainty in her relation to paxton. it'd be delicious.)

having devi and paxton date over a much longer span of time gives us the chance to see devi trying to insert herself in with zoe, shira, and carley, with the hot pocket, and never quite get it right. we could see her navigating around her mom to have a relationship with a guy she knows nalini doesn't approve of and how that strains their tentatively mended relationship. we could see her grapple with why she still feels sad about her dad when she now has the perfect life.

and, perhaps most importantly to my feeling like daxton received their due, we could watch paxton's patience with devi constantly feeling like she doesn't fit with him erode over a reasonable timeline!

that said, i do think it suits them that it would eventually erode, because devi needs to idolize him, have him, lose him, and go through the whole des storyline* to be able to return to paxton with any genuine shot at a long-lasting romantic relationship. which the actual season three teased just enough, in my opinion.

*imagine how much more of a knife twist des being a combo of paxton and ben is to the benvi girlies when, in this timeline, devi hasn't really fucked with the ben of it all yet - you feeling it? hurts so gooood

[seriestrash]

You Me Her

1 || 2 || 

Chapter Three: Excuses 

Word Count: 2136

↠ ♥ ↞

After lying to Lucas about the extent of her feelings towards him Riley feels she has no choice but to tell Maya the same thing. Riley thinks it’s better to hear it from her rather than Lucas, especially after the two girls agreed to no longer keep secrets from one another. A pact that makes Riley feels horrible for lying to Maya but she keeps telling herself that this is the best thing for everyone. Her guilt subsides slightly when Maya looks relieved after Riley explains that she isn���t romantically interested in Lucas. 

As the weeks pass things remain awkward. Even though no one is asking Riley if she’s okay anymore they certainly still have a watchful eye on her in all situations. Still, Riley wears a smile that doesn’t waver as she tries to navigate through every tense situation. 

As for Maya and Lucas, on the outside you probably wouldn't even be able to tell they were dating. They almost never held hands or made contact of any sort. Riley was unsure if they acted like this because of her or for other reasons.

Not surprisingly at all Maya prioritises Riley over Lucas in ever situation, even when ‘choosing’ isn’t necessary. Riley wonders if Maya does this out of guilt or obligation but she shakes the thought every time, Maya was her best friend and she does things because they love each other. Even though Riley tries to primarily focus on Maya she can’t help but notice the slight wave of disappointment that seems to cross Lucas every time he’s passed over for Riley. At least she thinks it’s disappointment. 

Riley wonders how she would have handled the situation had she of been the girl chosen. How would she balance Maya and Lucas? A thought she abandons quite quickly as it triggers enormous amounts of guilt and heartache. 

Every time Riley finds herself trying to analyse situations involving feelings that weren't her own she makes a conscious effort to stop as she promised herself that she would stop trying to guess how everyone feels and only worry about her own emotions. A good idea in theory but her plan fails as Riley only ever tries to do what makes other people happy. 

Riley would never dream of abandoning Maya over a boy so she remains the perfect best friend; all through Shawn and Katy’s wedding, through debates about good and evil, through the loss of her childhood bear, through culture fairs and girls not liking her at school, through series finales of a beloved television show and auditions for a movie based on their lives. 

(interrupting this story to say these are obvi episodes that aired in season 3 but they wouldn't have happened how you remember them. I’m not going to write 100 chapters on altered episodes but they would have been similar but with a lot more fake smiley Riley ft. awkward Lucas and Maya like their smoothing pouring over the head date)

It was exhausting, all the pretending. Riley truly believed that all her smiley efforts would eventually lead to an actual resolution of her feelings. She believed that things would settle and she’d have a strong and healthy relationship with both Maya and Lucas, all platonic. All a bloody joke because after months of faking it she feels no closer to genuine happiness, all Riley feels is emotional drained. The brunette finds it harder and harder to keep up with the act as the days go by. 

In addition to the emotional exhausting Riley is physically exhausting herself as a result of throwing herself into her school work, shifts at the bakery and she even offers up her time to babysit Auggie more so her parents can restart their date night that they’ve struggled to find time for. These are all things that Riley had perfect excuses for wanting to do, like wanting to maintain a good permanent record after that failed Spanish test and wanting to save money for a European trip once she graduates, etc. but really these were all just excuses for Riley to occupy her time away from the group.

She didn’t just flat out stop hanging out with her friends, that’s not what she wanted because as much as it hurt to be with them Riley feels as thought not being with them was worse. So this was a way for Riley to have the best of both worlds. Instead of sitting at the bakery for a study session and having to engage in conversations she could look on at said conversations whilst occupying herself with waiting tables. 

The more Riley made herself available to her parents the more they started utilising her. It’s these things that help Riley be out of the group but with everyone still feeling like she’s in the group. Riley’s smart like that without even knowing how well orchestrated she makes things. Slowly weaning herself off group sessions all the while maintaining her smiley image so no big questions are raised. 

It’s at Christmas time that Riley realises Lucas is the main trigger for her. Just one on one with Maya, Riley found herself forgetting. Forgetting that Maya was in a relationship with a boy she may love. It’s whenever Lucas is brought up in conversation that Riley feels her heart sink. Christmas time confirms this in Riley’s mind when she felt relieved that Lucas went back to Texas. Even if it was only for a week Riley felt like she could breathe again but then he mails her such a sweet Secret Santa and she finds herself quickly slipping into a saddened state. After convincing Maya to spend Christmas at home with her new stepfather Riley takes a moment to herself. It’s in the early hours of the AM - after a restless sleep - that Riley comes up with a plan. Another attempt at catching her breath. 

At a reasonable hour on Christmas morning Riley approaches her parents after the gift exchange. She explains the proposal to them as more of selfless act rather than the escape she hoped it would be. Riley was scarily good at hiding her feelings from her parents so when she spun this elaborate plan to give the new Hunter family some time to bond by going to Pittsburgh for the remainder of the winter break Cory and Topanga ate up every word. 

The following day the Matthews head off to Alan’s and Amy’s where they spend a relaxing New Years at the home that Cory grew up in. 

The trip was indeed therapeutic for Riley. Giving the teen a chance to gather her thoughts. It’s in this time that she makes a promise to herself to really get over Lucas once she returns to school. 

A plan that lasted all of three seconds as Riley accidentally witnessed Lucas and Maya share an awkward kiss by the hole at school. She backs away before either of them saw her but she’s barely able to contain her emotions as she scurries away. Seeing them together hurt but seeing them kiss? That was too real for Riley to ignore. 

The brunette pushes her palms against an exit door and stumbles into the fresh air of an outdoor court yard at the side of the school. Riley’s sudden bust through the door startled the only other person out there and he drops a lighter in his hand. 

“I’m sorry,” Riley wipes at her cheeks in a desperate attempt to conceal her sadness. “I thought no one would be out here.” 

“Me too,” the boy laughs nervously as he reaches for the dropped lighter and rambles an explanation, “I don’t normally do this- This isn’t me,” he waves the cigarette about.

“And this isn’t me,” Riley gives him a sad shrug, “Yet here we are.” With that she tries to make a break for the door but he stops her.

“Wait..” He calls out.

Riley turns to him, “Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone what I saw.”

“I don’t really care about that,” He shakes his head, “I just wanted to ask if you were okay?” There it is, the question that’s been aggravating Riley for months expect now she doesn’t lash out at the stranger or even pretend to smile instead she does her best to suck back the tears and gives the boy a quiet but honest, “Not yet.”

Riley tries to remove herself from the scenario but again the boy stops her. 

“Wait, please?” He softens. 

Riley wipes at her eyes again and turns around to find the boy fiddling in his backpack. He takes out a packet of tissues and with a cautious smile he hands them to her. 

“Thank you,” Riley uses a tissue to dry her eyes and wipe any makeup that may of smudged. Riley takes a moment to look at the stranger. He’s only a little taller than her with a boyish frame but not too lanky. He’s got dark hair and eyes to match that sit behind wide brimmed black glasses. He’s undoubtedly attractive but in a soft and pure kind of way.

“I’m Kai by the way,” he gives her a small smile as he holds out a hand for her to shake. 

Riley doesn’t know why, maybe it’s her haywire emotions but she laughs at the gesture. Still she shakes his hand, “I’m Riley.” 

“I know.” He admits, “Everyone kinda does...” 

“Right..” Riley deflates again. 

“If you want to talk about it, or anything...” Kai gives her a sympathetic smile, “I’m happy to lend an ear.” 

“Thanks you.” 

The morning bell rings and Riley uses this as an excuse to exit. As she scurries inside Riley, bumps into Lucas and Maya on her way to home room. Riley is thankful that neither of them noticed that only minutes beforehand she was crying. Instead the short girl leaps at her best friend the moment she spots her. Cooing about how she’s missed her since Christmas and is so excited to have her back in New York.

Lucas stands back and gives Riley a sheepish “hello”.  Riley thanks him again for her lovely Secret Santa gift and asks him lightly how Texas was. Lucas excitedly starts to ramble on about something that happened during his trip before Maya hurries Huckleberry along so they’re not late for homeroom.

That afternoon when the final bell rings Riley finds Maya, Lucas and Farkle huddled together near her locker. Having no other choice she approaches them. 

“Hello,” Riley says with a goofy chuckle. “Am I being voted off the island?” 

“What?” Farkle crinkles his brows. 

“Nothing,” Riley shakes her head. “I just watched a couple survivor reruns on my winter break...” 

“We were just talking about going to see a movie,” Lucas says with a smile. 

“Tonight?” Riley raises a brow. “It’s our first day back...” 

“Yeah but we didn’t get a chance to hang out over the break,” Maya frowns. 

“Oh, uh,” Riley fumbles over her words. 

“Ri,” a newly familiar voice creeps up behind her. Riley turns Kai who’s approaching with his backpack slung over one shoulder. “You ready?” he asks. 

Maya turns to Lucas and mouths “Ri?” to which he shrugs just as confused as her. 

“Yeah,” Riley nods unsure what was going on. She turns back to her friends, “You know Kai? He’s in our year.” 

Everyone mumbles hellos even though they didn’t really know him. 

“Kai and I had plans this afternoon,” Riley lies. 

“Like a date?” Maya slips out without really think. 

“She’s real pretty and all but definitely not my type.” Kai chokes on his laughter. “We are going to work on her audition for the school play.”

“My what?” Riley squeaks. 

“Don’t be shy,” he playfully shoves Riley’s arm. 

“The school play?” Maya pricks up a brow. “I didn’t know you wanted to be in the play...” 

“Last minute decision,” Riley shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly, “I just didn’t get the chance to tell you yet.” 

“Oh, okay,” Maya nods. 

“Come, come,” Kai tugs at her arm. “The theatre waits for no one.” 

Riley gives her friends a small wave as she allows herself to be dragged away.

“What was all that?” Riley whispers as they continue to walk away together. 

“That was me helping you get out of whatever it is you wanted to get out of,” Kai shrugs casually. 

“How do you know I wanted to get out of anything?” Riley frowns. 

“I have a feeling we didn’t meet this morning by accident,” Kai gives her a starry eyed look and a slight smirk. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Riley raises a brow. 

“Well I was three seconds away from poisoning my lungs before you burst through those doors,” he scrunches up his face in disgust. “You stopped me from making a mistake. You helped me.” 

“And you were there to dry my tears?” Riley lets out an unconvincing laugh. 

“Exactly.” Kai nods. “I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” 

Riley was unsure about this but something about a friend that had nothing to do with her current situation seemed so inviting to Riley. So inviting that she finds herself smiling for real. 

End Notes: Posting this real quick before my boss gets to work!! Thanks to everyone who was helping with my name debacle I genuinely appreciate so much!!! Sorry if this chapter is a bit choppy but I’m trying to go through time without adding 100 unnecessary chapters!! :) 

Going to take a short break from this.. Maybe a week? To work on The Story of Us !! See ya soon! In the meantime reviews etc are always appreciated :)