#like i don't need beej and hawk and peg to be a triad all the time i just really prefer peg to know and be enthusiastically okay with it al

[remyfire]

so if a ficcer had a lot of stories with beejhawk but they also wrote idk peg/female OC would you not read anything from them yet? jw because I’ve nvr heard of your method b4!

I don't even know if I'd call it a method, so that's probably why hksdfsd more just a really hungry desire to build up my characterization of them in a way that can maybe be unique to me!

Also that's a very good question, and I wouldn't know until I gave them and/or their summaries a look to see if they're up my alley :D

[onekisstotakewithme]

Behind the scenes: 1, 8, 15, 18?

Neeks!!! 💜🥰

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

It was for Lost, for a rare pair that had like maybe two fics on ff.net (and it's absolutely terrible, I wrote it when I was thirteen!). Fun fact, it's actually still on my ff.net profile. I'm too nostalgic to delete it.

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

I either listen to music constantly when I write or I need to write in absolute silence, it doesn't logic to me either. But a song that's been inspiring me lately is probably "White Hot" by Tom Cochrane.

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Aaaaaas if the answer could really be anything but "ye who are weary, come home". I mean is anyone really telling me that they don't want to watch a MASH reunion? (Just kidding, but I want to watch it.)

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Oh boy. This is a tricky one... but a good question nonetheless. (Brain... shutting... down...)

I think I'll put this under a 'read more' so I don't bombard people with analysis ;)

I guess a scene I'm particularly proud of is I guess the confession/triad getting-together scene, so spoilers for 'ye who are weary come home":

Peg and BJ exchange a look.

“Hawkeye,” Peggy says gently, “We wanted to talk to you about us.”

Hawkeye swallows hard, not sure if he’s heard correctly. “About… us?”

“About you and me and Peggy,” BJ says. “And… what we all mean to each other.”

This is the first bit, I really liked having Peg taking the lead (because she's been nudging BJ here the whole time, she's the one who said they could do this!).

“Hawkeye,” BJ says softly, his expression tender. “Hawk. I love you.”

Hawkeye blinks, and it takes a second to sink in. The affection in BJ’s voice sends fissures through him that threaten to crack open at the slightest pressure. “What?”

“God,” BJ laughs a little, tinged with hysteria, shaking his head, and the world is upside down and backwards because BJ- BJ can’t, not with Peggy right here- “I’ve wanted to say that for so long. I love you, Hawkeye Pierce.”

“But… but Peggy,” Hawkeye says, a little helplessly, turning to her, not expecting the tenderness on BJ’s face to be mirrored on hers. It stuns him.

“That’s the funny thing, darling,” she says, and smiles, though she looks close to tears. “I’m in love with you too.”

Here it is!!! The moment of truth!!! And Hawk's reverence for the Hunnicutt marriage means he can't quite believe that they want him - he turns to Peg because he doesn't want BJ throwing her over for him.

“I- I don’t-” Hawkeye stammers, afraid of what he's done. “Y-You two love each other.”

“Yes,” Peggy says patiently, “And you, darling. You’ve seen Singin’ in the Rain, haven’t you? Did Don love Cosmo less for loving Kathy?”

This was in my notes from Day 1. I always wanted there to be a SITR reference in this fic, and this was just. the perfect spot for it.

And the truth spills out, a truth Hawk has carried wound around his heart for five years. “Beej, it’s- it’s always been you. And I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t be,” BJ cuts him off. “God, don’t you know? You saved me that first day, Hawk. I- I always thought Peg was the one who got me through but- but you did too.”

This makes Hawk flinch, and he turns to Peggy, afraid of what her reaction will be.

“I never meant...” he says, tears welling up anew, “Peggy, I swear-”

“Shh, darling,” she says, brushing a tear from his cheek. “I know.”

“Nothing happened-”

“I know.”

As much as i know "BJ and Hawk getting together in Korea with Peg's permission" is an old standard, I very much wanted Hawkeye to assure her that no, nothing happened between them, because again, he reveres their marriage so much!

“I can’t…” he trails off, looking between them, because to love them is the best thing he’s ever done- but it’s also the most dangerous. “ We can’t.”

“Who says?”

“The law. I- I can’t ask you to do this,” Hawkeye says, horrified. “You can’t risk your whole lives for me.”

“Hawkeye,” Peggy says patiently. “We know the risks.”

“Then you know what loving me means.”

“We do,” BJ says. “And this is worth it, if you’ll have us.”

“I-If I’ll have you,” he repeats. “If I’ll have you?”

“Hawkeye.” Peggy takes his hand. “Darling, BJ and I already decided that this is worth it, that every… every risk is worth it. But it’s up to you to take it.”

“And what about Erin?”

“We’ll talk to Erin,” BJ says.

“But-”

“Hawkeye, we could hash out every single detail right now,” Peggy says. “Or we could figure it all out later. We have time.”

Hawkeye looks between them, feels his heart crack open, and all he can do is stammer, “You stand to lose a lot by loving me.”

“Maybe,” Peg says.

“But the way we see it,” BJ says, taking his other hand, “we stand to gain a lot more.”

This. This right here is my triad manifesto. It isn't always going to be safe - it's a hell of a risk - but it's worth it and they CAN be happy. It's not going to be easy, but it will be love.

And Hawkeye feels the last piece of himself that he’s been missing since Korea – the last piece of home – fall perfectly into place.

I mean c'mon. Home is his dad and home is the Hunnicutts and I think the best answer for him is having people who knew him before AND during the war.

Thank you, this commentary is probably a bit silly.