#like i guess on some level i am sorry bc i legitimately could not tell this was a positive comment

[dongiovannitriumphant]

fyi if you RB someone's post and add multiple paragraphs as a response and then block the person you RB it from they will not be able to read your whole response

[bilbao-song]

heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>

first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted

sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.

anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol

.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):

so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15

THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry

also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild

to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!

anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho

to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow

tl;dr: yes

[one-leaf-grimoire]

Illusion (chapter 5)

Grey Deer Fic chapter 5! Here’s the link to the full story: link.

As you can see, I changed the name bc I wasn’t vibing with the other one.

WARNING: slight implication of *Sex* (but not with Julius, unfortunately...)

As always, I would really love to hear what you think of this chapter!

"Captain, do you have a minute-"

I stop talking as soon as I poke my head into Captain Hervey's office. It's a sizable room, with rich wood paneling and blue wallpaper making it seem cozy. Several stuffed deer heads are hanging above the severe man's desk, where he sits across from his vice captains. Both Malota and Julius turn around to look at me; obviously I'm interrupting a meeting. "A-Ah, sorry, I'll come back later-"

"Nonsense, spit it out. But make it quick." Hervey gestures me closer, and I gulp and enter the room, a paper clutched in my hands. "What's that?"

This is always a little awkward, even though I've given several of these requests to him over the years. But it's his fault for having the "only registered guests only" rule for our base. "Lawrence wants to come visit tomorrow, can I get your approval?"

Hervey lets out a snort of laughter. "Your fiance? He was here pretty recently, wasn't he? Why do you keep inviting him here, just go visit him yourself."

"Ah, well, he insists. I can't really say no to him..."

But you can, sir. I watch as he takes the paper and looks at it carefully, as if he's making up his mind. Meanwhile, I'm praying that he says NO so I have a good reason to avoid seeing Lawrence tomorrow. Malota looks bored and lets a sigh out through her vulture-like nose. Julius stares at the Captain's table silently. Another reason why I wanted to avoid asking in front of other people is because it becomes awkward like this. Neither of our Vice Captains want to hear about my personal life, I'm sure. 

"Very well. But he better be gone by dinner time, I'm not feeding him, even if he is a prince!"

Fuck! I force a smile as he signs the paper, a magical chill moving through the room as he does so. Somehow, Hervey can manipulate the barrier spell he cast around the base to let authorized guests enter after he signs off on it. His ice magic is some of the most powerful I've ever seen, and he's able to upkeep such a potent spell all day and night, subconsciously. He really is amazing, despite his faults, and it's easy to see why he's captain. "Thank you, sir, sorry for interrupting." With that, I turn and shuffle out of the room, feeling a small weight of dread in the pit of my stomach.

Why, though? Why are you dreading this? Lawrence is your Fiance, your future Husband! Shouldn't you be happy to see him?

That's probably what you're thinking, but it couldn't be farther from the truth. I tolerate Lawrence Kira, and that's all. He's 5 years older than me, always acts like he's my superior (which he is, but come on!), and really isn't the most considerate person. He always talks about how great things are expected of him, and how he needs a supportive wife to help him achieve those things and continue the Kira line. "One day." he always tells me. "One day, our children could be the King. Wouldn't you like that?"

No... Not really, actually.

But I can't tell him that. If I show any disrespect, he'll bring the hammer down, on both me and my parents. We're already on thin ice, and this marriage is supposed to save my family. When the engagement was first decided, I was only 5 years old and had no idea what it even meant. As I grew older, I was told how romantic it was going to be. Doesn't every girl want to marry a prince? I was excited to live out what seemed like a fairy tale.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. It soon became clear that Lawrence would never actually love me. At least not all of me. Not only that, but like I said, he's older than me, and as we spent more and more time together, he started to force me to grow up a bit faster than I should have. I'm sure you can guess what I mean. 

If I didn't have Alice, I don't know what I would have done. But when I came to her and revealed that I didn't want to marry this prince, she didn't shun me or say I was crazy. She held me, and told me that we were going to get out of this, together. And so, I joined the magic knights, as the first step of my plan. The wedding that was supposed to be when I turned 18 was postponed. Luckily, the Magic Knights are a very esteemed and legitimate career path for both Royalty and nobility, so I was able to get away with it. Lawrence's family even said they were proud that their son would be marrying a magic knight.

Well... it's been 7 years since then. There's no plans for a wedding yet. This engagement can only go on so long before Lawrence decides to break it off. By that time, I'll be able to support my family myself! I don't need a marriage, and I'll finally be free to do what I want.

That's my secret, the secret only Alice and I know. My one hope for tomorrow is that Lawrence will coldly tell me that he can't wait around any longer, and will break it off right then and there.

Of course, it's never that easy.

"Hello, Lawrence."

I stand outside the base to meet him as he transports in with the help of a spatial mage. He brushes himself off before looking up, his grey eyes quickly meeting mine. Unintentionally, I feel a cold chill down my back, something that's always happened when he looks at me like that. "It's been too long, have you really been that busy?" Lawrence asks as he walks over, pulling his cloak a little tighter around himself. The snow has long melted, but its freeze still hangs lightly in the air around us.

"Er, yes, pretty busy." I let him take my hand and pull it up to his lips, not bothering to bend over. A royal shouldn't bow to anyone, after all. His lips are cold on my skin as he kisses the back of my hand, before dropping it immediately. "I actually had a pretty big mission a few days ago, I was able to beat five guys-"

"Yeah, I'm sure. You can tell it to me over lunch." Lawrence dismisses my story kind of quickly before turning to walk towards the base. I wince and hold out a hand to stop him. "Uh-er, we can't eat here!"

"Hmm? Why not?" Lawrence throws a glance over his shoulder.

"Captain Hervey said, uh... we can't spare food right now for outsiders."

"Hmph. Fine. We'll eat in town." Lawrence sighs and turns to walk back to me, grabbing my hand as he does. "Also, what did I tell you about using filler words? Stop saying um and er so much."

"R-right, sorry." I let him pull me along, away from the base.

"Man... are they really in love?" 

Giles leans on the windowsill as the others gather around him, peeping down at me and Lawrence as we walk off out of sight. "Every time he comes, she looks like she'd rather be somewhere else."

"It's true," Alice pipes up, leaning against the wall and not bothering to look. "He's a real piece of work, you know."

"How can that be? He's a prince." Elia crosses her arms. "Who wouldn't want to marry a prince?"

"She just wants to live a normal life, I think. She's not cut out for that royalty stuff anyway."

"Nigel, shut up."

Meanwhile, Lawrence and I reach town and make our way towards my favorite resteraunt there. "There's really no other place to eat?" Lawrence asks, pulling his hood up over his head, his eyes darting around the street.

"It's my favorite! I think you'll like it, too." I squeeze his hand, causing him to smile for a moment. "You're afraid of being recognized."

"Yeah... I have a pretty big fanclub you know!"

... I doubt that...

Our base is located in a forest right outside the limits of the noble realm. We're close enough to town so we can get all of our supplies, but secluded enough that Captain Hervey is able to put up our barrier. It honestly feels like a little sanctuary for the squad, but I still like going in to town to see the usual hustle-and-bustle of civilization.

"You know, this type of place does have a little charm." Lawrence talks to me as he quietly sips his beer. His eyes keep darting around the restaurant, as if he were analyzing everything in sight. He's always been like that, cool and calculated, always scheming or sizing the world up. He's really an intelligent man, someone who can keep a level head in any situation. His magic is very strong, too, and it's interesting that he never joined the Magic Knights. When I asked him why a long time ago, he simply said that it wasn't his style. I have a feeling he'd rather be involved in the government down the line.

"I'm glad you think so. I guess not all Royals are so stuffy," I answer, playfully nudging his foot under the table. Lawrence narrows his eyes at me but can't conceal his smile. Ah! I need to stop being so cute around him, remember?

"I'm not that stuffy, am I? I can have fun... what do you and the squad do for fun, anyway?" Lawrence yawns a little, scratching his chin under his hood.

"Hmm..." I think over the past for a moment. "Well, we have little parties in our base now and then. Oh, also, the Captain lets us go to the beach on our days off! We also like to come to town to go drinking some nights."

"Ah... that sounds like fun. A little crude, but fun." Lawrence nods along with my words. "Maybe I'll take you to the beach sometime, just the two of us."

Just the two of us.

"...yeah, sure."

By the time lunch is done, it's obvious to me that Lawrence isn't about to break up with me or anything. In fact, I've somehow managed to warm him back up to me after more than a month of absence, and now...

"Let's go back to the base."

"Huh? Er- Lawrence, I told you before-"

"Stop saying ER! And I don't want to eat. Is your roommate around?"

"...probably not..."

"Good."

This is my least favorite part of his visits. Lawrence hates showing affection out in public, but as soon as we're alone and away from prying eyes, he basically pounces on me. I can't really do much but hold on as his lips crash into mine hungrily. We were each other's first kisses, but I'm pretty sure he's pretty good at it. The way he moves his lips against mine always makes me dizzy, at least. He pushes me until we're both flat on my twin bed, one of his hands bunching up the sheets next to my head. The biggest drawback of avoiding him for so long is that he gets... needy. 

However, his affection doesn't last long. As soon as he's done, Lawrence simply pulls the covers over me and gets up. I roll over, feeling a bit sore, and watch as he starts to re-dress himself. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah." Lawrence buttons up his shirt, his fingers fumbling slightly. "I assume I'm not allowed to stay for dinner." He sits back down on the bed to start pulling his shoes and socks on. "I'll come back to visit soon, don't avoid me any more, you hear?"

"...yeah. No guarantees, though." I gulp nervously, pulling the covers over myself more as he looks down at me again. "I'm a magic knight, you know! I have a duty-"

"Your duty should be our future," Lawrence cuts me off, his gaze moving away from me again. "...do you really feel like this is where you belong?"

I open my mouth to respond the answer that I always do: Yes, of course. I'm meant to be a magic knight! 

But... I can't say that any more, can I?

Because, for whatever reason, someone on my very own squad wanted me gone.

"Hey... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

I didn't even notice the tears trailing down my face until Lawrence reaches out to cup my cheek gently. I look up into his grey eyes, which are filled with warmth, for once. But I still get that chill.

"If something's bothering you... you know where to find me, okay? You're going to be my wife one day, hopefully soon. We can put all this Magic Knights business behind you, but you'll always carry that honor. I'll take care of you, I promise."

... "Alright." I nod slowly, reaching up to hold his hand for a second before he pulls it away. "Write me some letters."

"I will. See you soon!"

Lawrence gives me a small smile and a wave, before quietly leaving me alone in my room once again.

I stay there for a while, curling up under my sheets like a cocoon. For just a couple minutes, I feel safe.

Lawrence really isn't so bad, is he? I mean... at least I know what he wants. My attackers won't show themselves again, not yet, and they won't tell me why they want me gone. Maybe... maybe I should just listen to them, and leave...

No. That's stupid. I squeeze my eyes shut as memories start to flood back.

I can't leave... because then I'll marry Lawrence. I don't want to be near him at all! Slowly, I sit up, letting the sheets fall off my body as the more pleasant chill of the base hits my skin. I'll find out who attacked me, and purge them from this squad! I'm meant to be here, I'm meant to be a magic knight.

Eventually, I get up to get dressed, cleaning myself off before heading to the bathroom. I splash some water on my face before looking up at my reflection. I look tired and a little stressed out... but alive.

"Hello there! Enjoy your day off?"

I'm on my way down to dinner when I run into none other than Julius. I haven't seen him all day, not since yesterday's meeting, but he's heading the same way as me now. "Ah, yeah. I haven't seen my fiance in a while, so it was nice to have lunch with him."

"Your fiance? Oh, right, Prince Lawrence." Julius nods as he falls into step next to me. I glance up at the taller man, not able to read any emotion other than his usual neutrally-happy expression. Even so, his presence puts me at ease, although I doubt anyone would attack me now while everyone is awake in the base. "Is the wedding happening soon?"

"Oh, definitely not. We haven't even started planning it!" I smirk a little. And if I have my way... it won't ever be planned!

"I see... I guess, eventually, you're going to outrank us all."

"Huh?" I look up to see him smiling teasingly down at me. 

"You'll be a princess, right?"

"P-Princess?" My eyes widen as I realize that he's right. Then, I shake my head. "Ah! I don't even want to think about that..."

"Why not?"

"Too much pressure?"

"Ah, well, I think it suits you."

I look back up at him, aghast, just in time to catch his wink. "Hey! Jul- I mean, sir, that's a long way in the future-"

"Julius is fine-" He lets out a warm laugh before gesturing for me to keep up with him. "Come on... a princess can't be late for dinner."

..... AHHHHHH.

I swallow my pride and quickly catch up, pouting a bit to myself. Princess... I can't even imagine becoming royalty. And I don't want to! I'll never be a princess, not if I have anything to say about it.

Slowly, though, I feel my cheeks heat up, and it takes everything I have to keep from glancing back up at Julius's face.

Still...

It didn't sound so bad when he called me that...

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

i walk in 20 hours late sipping a starbucks hot cocoa

i don’t like coffee

promethea!!! 

awwwwww yis

tl;dr: uhh wow i talked a lot today, sorry. Mostly about whatever the fuck that thing Rhys is handing us is, how it ties into the dig site we see like maybe it’s a piece to activate it, maybe the dig site isn’t a Vault but instead a teleporter or something and needs multiple pieces to activate. so i guess kinda like a Vault but not that kind of Vault. Also if said dig site is actually on Promethea because that’s, like, DEFINITELY Elpis behind it. and like, okay, maybe we used the giant space gun to destroy the asteroid fields and make room for elpis and teleport elpis there, or maybe we teleported the dig site to pandora because it needs to be opened since Moon = Key and maybe Promethea’s moon was destroyed by the giant space gun (TM) and turned into asteroid belt, or maybe the dig site was always ON pandora and it’s not actually a Vault (because the Map would have pointed it out), but still. lots of possibilities here. oh and i go over the Battleborn easter egg and talk about Tannis is Not What She Seems (and pray she won’t end up being evil bc I love her) and I wanna believe the Eridians sent that message, not the cult ‘cause fuck those guys they probably can’t see the future they probably just adopted the name. also I ramble about how gorgeous this planet is for like... 30 minutes. but damn it really is pretty.

man this was a fun thing to wake up to and then have to wait like 8 hours to actually fully take a look at lmao

“Home to the Atlas corporation headquarters, Promethea is a metropolitan world covered in futuristic towers of chrome and glass. A recent siege by Maliwan has turned the urban environment into a warzone; their mechanized infantry patrol the streets, rodent/insect hybrids known as Ratches infest the sewers and back-alleys, and the Children of the Vault are seizing the opportunity to recruit displaced and disgruntled citizens. Atlas CEO Rhys Strongfork is getting desperate.“

“... Children of the Vault are seizing the opportunity to recruit displaced and disgruntled citizens”.

yeah that’s the most important part of this description for me. I really really like the idea of that, and it could tie into the whole Mayhem is Coming tagline for the game as, like many people have speculated, the Mayhem we hear about is the spreading of the cult/the psychos across the universe. A very interesting tie-in to the marketing campaign, as it’s clear we’re now the target of this cult propaganda, like the citizens of Promethea are (were? this is all past-tense since marcus is telling this story, isn’t it?)... like the citizens of Promethea were.

And we know that Atlas is trying to protect the citizens in the tunnels, so it’d be really interesting to see the two get into a direct conflict over a group of citizens. Like Lorelei tells us it's a hostage situation or whatever and we run in and it’s more of a brainwashing situation. Worse if the citizens decided to switch over without any brainwashing. oof.

im also curious about the number of hexagons we see on Promethea. The shapes look identical to the ones on Pandora’s page, so I’m curious if this is an accurate representation of how many areas will be on each planet.

just sayin’.

We do know that Pandora has more than those 3 listed areas (from Supmatto’s new video! can’t believe i missed the stream. ah well.)

“Covenant Pass”. I wanna believe this is near the area where we go find Sanctuary-III, at the very least that one tunnel-y area?

you know the one

this one, it’s right next to Sanc-III afterall.

Also thinking it may not be the name of a huge area, but instead the name of one of the smaller areas within that area? like the ones where when you discover it you get experience points? yeah.

the name makes me think this is someway related to the CoV cause of the word ‘covenant’, an agreement. We also know this area is directly near this one bandit camp which I’ve theorized before is a sun smasher camp

(you can see the back of sanctuary-III near both areas) 

so it’s possible there was an agreement made and both could pass freely through that one tunnel, or the twins were able to build that wall close to this camp. idk, just spitballing ideas.

So then it is possible there’s only 3ish areas on Pandora, but I really hope not unless they are BIG areas. There are most likely more than 3.

oh but we’re here to discuss Promethea

sorry i forgot.

For Promethea we got the Titan Skyway, the Atlas Campus, and the Meridian Seaport.

Titan Skyway reads to me like that giant road we keep seeing in the trailers 

like this one, which is giving me huge Bloodshot Stronghold (Damtop) vibes. Which is one of my favorite levels to play as melee Zer0 with execute and many must fall so... please let this be what i think it is. i may end up running that map just for funsies at the end of the game. mm if it didn’t take running the actual bloodshot stronghold every time i wanted to play the damtop level, i’d be running it all the time. sigh.

Atlas Campus immediately made me think of the Meridian Metroplex, but that’s definitely not it. In the instagram trailer we see Rhys on the ‘Atlas HQ rooftop’ with Zer0, so I’m gonna imagine Rhys is somewhere in the Atlas Campus.

Now if this is like an actual college campus, which i don’t think gearbox would do due to the implications, that’d be wild. I heard they had a mall designed for somewhere in the meridian metroplex, but we’re probably not actually allowed inside. which makes me sad, but also it probably holds no significance on the story. but then again... neither did caustic caverns. hmmmmmmmmm

oh also rhys is holding

whatever the fuck this is

uhhhhhhh... huhhhhh...

tbh i legitimately thought this was their attempt at macgyvering a vault key at first lmao

i know it’s a mission object because it has those glitteries, but... it reminds me a bit of Gortys’s core but i really don’t think that’s it. maybe another Atlas project to try and open a Vault? It just doesn’t look Eridian to me.

then again

this appears to be at the eridian dig site so... maybe it actually is Eridian. Definitely new to me.

some way to get inside the Vault area maybe? I can’t imagine that’s the actual Vault Key, because the one we see in the We Are Mayhem trailer doesn’t match.

you know i’ve been thinking more about vault colors

this one appears pink which... alright. maybe something to do with seraphs/seraph crystals.

The bl1 Vault was blue, the bl2 Vault was purple, the Vault of the Sentinel was... purple? blue? pink? all of the above? ... bisexual? tbqh there was a LOT going on there lol. wasn’t the Vault of the traveler yellow? either way

the big question here is: does each Vault have its own color scheme?

I wonder what that means since the Vault Mey has turned red now... it’s probably leading us to the big boy. the Vault to end all Vaults. 

now wouldn’t that be fun

right back to Promethea sorry

final listed area we get is called the Meridian Seaport. Which, if you know me, has got me all like 👀👀👀👀👀👀

water area? why yes PLEASE

i was actually talking to someone on reddit about said ‘seaport’ and it got me wondering if maybe this area is where we’ll find that one car from the Mask of Mayhem trailer. 

i can’t imagine what else those wing-like things on the side would be for. but i am definitely not a car person, like the closest i get is being a fan of Transformers, so maybe someone can enlighten me.

I am wondering if this area is the one we see in the instagram trailer with Moze

here

also i know we see water near where we find Zer0 in the demo, but that’s not really a dock area, more just a viewpoint. this has me thinking it’s an actual dock because the buildings are all off in the distance. It reminds me a lot of NYC actually lol

and interestingly enough i write about an assassination mission at a port on Promethea in one of my fanfics, but tbh i wasn’t actually expecting anything like it to be in-game. That was kind of an assumption I made since the area with Zer0 had water and I can’t believe I’m going to have to go back and edit it to be canon-compliant, cause I legitimately didn’t...

anyway.

Should i go over the instagram stuff now? I feel like i should go over the instagram stuff now.

see here is my problem with this

no moon

you’ll understand why once i compile my evidence

no moon

no moon!!

no moon

i even watched both time lapses during the amd stream and there was no hint of the moon (i understand promethea is in a state of perpetual twilight, but i thought maybe it would show up somewhere. it doesn’t. in fact it only shows the sun and this asteroid belt).

where is my moon, randy?

well let me tell you what i’m thinking here so you’re not even more confused

let’s go through that instagram video showcasing Promethea again

you should recognize this!

this is from that one video i reblogged like 4 times because i kept debating whether or not it was on promethea or pandora. now we can assume it’s on promethea but let me ask u something

if promethea doesn’t have a moon...

what the everloving fuck is that?

in fact, let me ask something

what does elpis look like in bl3?

look familiar?

hell yeah it does

now...

is this actually promethea?

I can’t imagine gearbox would be using footage that ISN’T from the planet they’re showcasing in a video about said planet. because that’s naughty. Plus, Rhys is shown giving us something that looks very similar to the tech in that area, and I can’t imagine we’d go through all that trouble just to get that tech then immediately go back to Pandora with whatever it is. whatever happened to the Promethean Vault Key we see in the We Are Mayhem trailer?

so there’s 2 options here if we’re under the assumption that dig site is/was on Promethea.

This dig site was moved from Promethea to Pandora

OR

Elpis was moved from Pandora to Promethea

Now i went over ALL of this in an old post. (seriously, give this a read if you haven't already, i go into this in a lot more detail than i will here). but we kinda got some new information.

My first instinct is that this dig site is on (or moved to) Pandora. just, 100% Pandora. the moon, the spiky rocks in the background, what look like Rakk near the back, there’s no asteroid belt in the sky. etc. etc.

do the blue sparkles have anything to do with it? maybe!

Also again, im not 100% certain this is actually a Vault. It just... doesn’t feel right to me. If this was actually on Pandora the entire time, then we’d have known about it through the Vault Map. We would have gone to open the 3rd Vault on Pandora before bl3 even began. If this really has been on Pandora the whole time, I do believe this isn’t actually a Vault. I go over this in that previous post I’ve made and I’m still standing by it. I think this is just an Eridian ruin and the Vault shape is just a statue or whatever. I could be 100% wrong, but that’s my first instinct if we’re being lead to believe this is on Pandora. 

Now I’m curious why this dig site was never mentioned in bl2 if it WAS on Pandora this whole time. And, again, if it actually does end up being a Vault, there’d be a huge plot hole with the whole Vault Map thing if it was on Pandora all along.

So was it moved here? Yeah... probably. For what reason? I... have no idea. How? similar answer. Lily couldnt’ve done it, she doesn’t have her powers anymore. Maybe activating it with whatever Rhys gives us makes it teleport to Pandora. For... reasons.

If it is a Vault, maybe it requires Elpis to open it. for some reason. We know Moon equals Key, so it could play into that. It definitely looks like it’s positioned directly in line with elpis.

but why would a Vault built on Promethea need a moon from a totally different planet to open it?

Because Promethea’s moon was destroyed.

That asteroid belt? I don’t think that’s there just for funsies (okay maybe the artists had funsies but the actual writing? yeah). And that big gun looking thing we see in both concept art and in the trailer? i think that thing fucked up Promethea’s moon to the point it shattered. So they couldn’t open that Vault.

alright, we all cool on this version of the theory?

let’s flip it on its head.

let’s consider:

Elpis was moved from Pandora to Promethea

NOT possible i hear you say

but hear me out.

what’s our reasons for saying this is Pandora?

“the moon, the spiky rocks in the background, what look like Rakk near the back, there’s no asteroid belt in the sky. etc. etc.”

Elpis? teleported! bah!

Spiky rocks? Well! We hear typhon mention a quarry, don’t we? one with brittle rock. This very well could be the quazmarian quarry he talked about where he found that very first Vault (and Vault Key). After all, if he fell into a hole and found it, it makes sense that there would be a shitload of dig teams trying to clear it out for easy access.

Rakk? We see those on Athenas, too, during the Happy Together trailer. Plus, they’re super chubby on the bottoms compared to what we see of the Rakk in the Claptrap Presents Pandora video. Maybe they’re not even Rakk.

Finally. Ah. The asteroid belt.

Well, if you believe that that giant gun could’ve obliterated Promethea’s moon, then is it so hard to turn around and believe that it’s actually obliterated the asteroids surrounding Promethea?

in fact, if we really ARE moving Elpis to Promethea, wouldn’t it make sense that we can’t have asteroids hitting Elpis for fear of worsening the Crackening and breaking our own moon?

In FACT, do we even SEE any asteroids above Promethea in that trailer shot of the bigass gun?

I THINK NOT.

There’s more to this theory, though.

from claptrap presents pandora

from the we are mayhem trailer

yeah, they COULD be celebrating the destruction of Elpis (because i would not be surprised if those are both near the same area)

lets think of something new, though. Elpis being blown up was totally 2015, with Zarpedon. That’s SO last season, Calypsos.

Plus, why would the calypsos even want the moon destroyed? is that not the home of a Vault that would allow them to see the future? how fucking powerful would that be, being able to see the future??? Jack knew what he had to do to win the Pandora games (even if he uhhh didn’t get to see that last bit because of Lilith), so why wouldn’t the Calypsos want to see their own futures?

There is the argument that they’ve already gone to Elpis and didn’t like what the Vault showed them, but I kinda assumed that they’d have gotten the funky eye things like Zarpedon did if they really did see what the Vault showed them. Given that Jack’s was interrupted by Lilith, we don’t really know if that’s truly the case.

I’m 100% down to blow up the moon cause Good Riddance, but also it needs to make sense WHY the calypsos want it blown up other than like shits and giggles? which... fine, but the story..? Elpis has to be important somehow. They have to want it blown up for some reason. A show of power? awesome, maybe they got that giant space gun. Moon = Key, so maybe they think if we can’t get this Vault, nobody can? sure why not. Destroying Pandora? Sure, but why blow up elpis when u could just also blow up pandora? 

either way, if the game gives us an actual reason as to why the twins are blowing up the moon, we’re all fine and dandy. if they’re going it just because then yeah, im gonna get kinda testy. 

anyway my point IS

The effect around elpis here looks strikingly familiar to the effect that appears around Lilith (and the cultists) when they’re teleported.

so it would be much cooler if, instead of blowing up Elpis, they were actually celebrating its movement. 

And it would be very interesting then, if this tied into that Easter Egg we got.

You know the one:

Because yeah im still iffy on the implication that this is from the Calypso twins. Why wouldn’t they want the Vaults opened? isn’t that the grand plan?

maybe this could be from the Eridians or the Guardians on Elpis. If Elpis was teleported from Pandora to Elpis, maybe the translation from Eridian -> English is slightly off, or simplified for the message. (on vs orbiting for example)

Visit Promethea -> Where we are right now, or where we’re going to go. We need you there.

Children of the Vault -> Yes, it could be the CoV cult that’s being referenced, but the way this is broadcasted, through morse code, spoken like an actual cryptic message and not, you know, with that Calypso flair... me thinks the cult simply adopted the name “Children of the Vault”. I think this may either be referencing Sirens, or the Vault Hunters/Crimson Raiders. Maybe the twins picked up this broadcast and that’s why they immediately head to Promethea after they steal Lilith’s powers.

We are not on Pandora anymore -> shit dudes we got yeeted to Promethea, help us. Or... we’ve moved elsewhere. We’re not nearby, we escaped, we fled, come find us on Promethea. 

Tannis is not what she seems -> this one... I don’t believe the Calypsos actually know anything about Tannis. If they do, then she was possibly the one to rescue/experiment on them, turning them into artificial Sirens or whatever, but then... isn’t Tannis exactly what she seems? She’s crazy, she totally would experiment on the twins. That is EXACTLY what she seems like. 

The people who would know about Tannis not being what she seems... the people who can see the future? The Guardians of the Sentinel’s Vault (maybe just the Guardians/Eridians in general). The Watcher can speak (speak? she uses telepathy, doesn’t she? that’s why Brick asks Lilith what she says) eloquently, I imagine there has to be more than one Watcher-like Guardian. Or this is the Watcher herself sending the message. 

Either way, if, later on in the game, Tannis starts showing signs of not being what she seems, then... wouldn’t it make sense that the only characters who knew this were the ones who could see the future? And given the new info, it makes sense that the Guardians/Eridians/yougetthegist would know her by name, because she could be the one who turned herself into an artificial Siren.  Or figured out how to create artificial Sirens. Whichever (both?). Which is kinda big news in the Eridian world, I’m sure. Plus, the wording using ‘What’ instead of ‘Who’ is kinda a big pointer. I’m almost leaning towards the idea that Tannis tried to give herself Angel’s phaseshifting abilities. I can’t see Tannis with actual offensive abilities... It wouldn’t really fit her character. But I can 100% see her with mad computer hacking skills, to the point she could ruin anything with a flick of her wrist. Yeah, I can see that. 

And I really hope Tannis doesn’t end up being a villain. She could do so much good with her intelligence and newfound powers and tbh it’s really nice seeing a character with autism not treated like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory (the butt of every joke). She feels real to me (as someone with autism)- she’s got her obsession (Eridians/Sirens/the Vaults), her crazy intelligence, the social phobia/unawareness. I really like her as a character (going from betraying us in bl1 to realizing her mistake and immediately trying to help and assisting the Crimson Raiders) and I’d really hate for her to become the villain just for... idk a shock twist? The shock twist should be that she’s a Siren or whatever, not that she’s going to betray us. I like Tannis :( And all the message says is Tannis is Not What She Seems, not that we shouldn’t trust her or that she’s going to betray us.

Do Not Open the Vaults -> well this is the whole thing, isn’t it? this is why I think this message has some sort of Eridian origin, instead of the Calypsos cult. The Calypsos WANT the Vaults open. They want that ‘universe-destroying’ power. They want to absorb the powers of the Vault monsters. Shit, even we Vault Hunters want to open the Vaults for some of that sweet, sweet loot. But who doesn’t want the Vaults opened? The Eridians.

oh yeah we were talking about Promethea. how the fuck did i get here?

oh the moon

yeah it could have just been a shot in the Instagram trailer they used to show off the ‘Eridian alien technology’. that’s not fun to talk about tho lmfao. plus the thingie Rhys holds matches up so well with the cool technology we get

anyway

the instagram trailer. we’re not even like halfway done with this post btw. still gotta do those beautiful screenshots

oh

trailer

sorry it’s like 1am im starting to lose focus im shifting into sleepy mode

i just love the aesthetic of this city.

also. that one building with the 0 on it? you can’t convince me Rhys didn’t give Zer0 their own skyscraper.

oh, you want an entire building to store all your loot and trophy kills? OF COURSE ZER0 ANYTHING FOR YOU

yes....... Eridian log.

im really excited to see it glowing. especially since it’s glowing red, like the Vault Map/key/you know. I hope that has some significance. 

i did boost the brightness and noticed it was part of a wall, not just one slab found elsewhere. makes me think this is part of a Temple. maybe part of the dig site below? we know that one is connected to some sort of building. and if it glows red, that’d be a really neat tie in to why Atlas always has that glowing red aesthetic going on in their bases.

still not done talking about this shot. yeah the stuff on the right looks similar to the thing Rhys hands us. NOT why i brought it back up tho. The guardian statues in the back seem very ‘low poly’. VERY different to the guardian statues we have on Pandora. they’re also holding staffs which is new. 

compare

these ones also seem much buffer than the guardians we see. with shorter necks, as well.

Maybe these are statues of ACTUAL Eridians? not just Guardians or any other construct (further proof for my theory Pandora was a Guardian production planet lol) but like what Eridians actually look like.

shorter necks, thicker limbs (because why would the constructs NEED muscles?), actual bodies that aren’t thin as twigs. I think we found it boys

this is the ideal Eridian body

no cause, seriously, if they ARE guardians, why are they so BUFF?? i don’t GET IT

also weird  this atlas gun isn’t wrist mounted. Atlas sniper confirmarinoed? or just an Old Atlas gun. sure. that too.

Moze on a turret near what i assume is the Meridian Seaport. She has what i think is an Atlas pistol equipped. There’s a dead guy leaning up against some cinder blocks, all cozy-like. 

better shot of the area. We talked about this earlier, so moving on!

Okay... so is THIS the New Atlas sniper? it looks like nigel thornberry’s nose

smashing.

we saw this before, too. im actually really excited to look out over the Promethea skyline from the top of a skyscraper. also, idk, rhys’s hand looks like a yaoi hand to me. like his fingers are above the F in strongfork, right? look how far away his thumb is. YEESH.

it’s actually ONLY rhys lol

An Atlas soldier at work! I like that their gear has the crimson lance logo on it. And the new Atlas symbol. I feel like if we have to fight these guys, the crit spot is gonna be that backpack.

maliwan robo!!!

a big boy. one of the flying ones too iirc from the We Are Mayhem trailer. 

Atlassss in the back. it’s weird that the second A in Atlas is the logo, not the first one. the first one is a triangle. that’s weird is it supposed to be signalling something else? a triangle with a circle around it. i don’t even know what that might be a logo for. hm.

oh also police bots i guess, but we see these dudes a lot.

im more interested in this thingie in the back. wonder what happened to it/what it is

ratches. blegh.

i hate these things jfc. they’re so gross.

i like that maliwan is just claiming things by throwing their flag up on it. that’s not how this works! that’s not how any of this works!

anyway.

how are those screenshots lookin

pretty good.

im pretty sure i’ve mentioned this before, but i love that they named this part of the city Meridian and then kept the Eridian logo in the spelling. it’s so fuckin dorky to me.

also i know we’re supposed to hate these robos, but at least they’re getting some characterization as enemies. the loaderbots in bl2 do this but not to a degree that they get their own interactions (LB being the exception of course). I like this.

also i love that parts of the city are color coded. like red and blue parts are different areas. It’s such a neat way to help people not get lost (cough, me) and it fits great into the design of the city with the neon lights and bright colors. I noticed this in the gameplay demo as well, tho i don’t remember if it was followed. Also I’m pretty sure that symbol up there

is what the blue area is called. could be wrong. but i think i saw this during the demo as well.

i think this is going to be my favorite area to visit on Promethea, hands down. I love this little living area. It feels so unlike anywhere we’ve visited in previous games, like it feels like somewhere Gaige could be from. Actually, iirc Roland was from Promethea, wasn’t he? Be wild if we visited his house here. Anyway, I’m also excited about the trees. Fucking! Trees!

and cars!!! holy shit yeah on Pandora we only ever saw like light runners or bandit technicals and the occasional bus. all the cars were broken down and stripped for parts! It’s really cool to see actual full cars here.

wow i am excited over the most mundane shit lol

wait till you guys hear about the PARKING LOT

OHHHH YEAH

CROSSWALKS TOO

lol im actually- i just love this area. i love it so much. this is lovely. i love the giant glowing reactor in the background too, i 100% hope we get to interact with that (posssssibly blow it up. maybe just a little.) I can see this area being the area we have to run through to reach the entrance of that thing. I mean, it’s just RIGHT THERE.

Also would not be surprised if this KV fellow is waiting for us there. “Who wants to BANG a billionaire indeed”. He’s totally gonna be a boss fight. BANG i imagine means more shooty shooty than innuendo... innuendo...

it sounded better in my head.

the symbol for the red area possibly on that tower in the back?

I’m like, 60% sure this isn’t the area we explore with Lorelei, so maybe this is the Titan Skyway? also maybe the bridge Moze and Fl4k drop off of in the Happy Together trailer.

hate. i would quote AM here but im tired so just imagine the entire ‘Hate’ quote here because i HATE these things.

there’s also a big skelly in the back, i wonder just how big these fuckin things can grow. hopefully uhhh like a cow died here or smth. cuz fuck man.

this area is also super green and watery so i wonder if this is a sewer or smth. that’d be wild lol

Another shot of the city. It’s so fucking beautiful. I really love how they went all out for this. Opportunity was great, but it wasn’t nice to look at. Promethea is fucking STUNNING. I love this place way too much. Never even been here before.

also i love the fog coming up from the bottom. Maybe this shot is taken from the water? god if we get to go on the water and then it starts fogging up i might actually start crying lol.

this building is my favorite by far i think. I love the way the middle turns in. I have no idea how that’d work like... from an inside standpoint, cause the ground would just be slanted under you but im sure they made it work somehow.

anyway. im gonna go cry myself to sleep over how beautiful this game is. sorry i talked like... WAY too much during this one lol.

also i just thought of this while writing the tl;dr but maybe that item rhys gives us is after all the Promethea stuff is over, even the Vault(s), maybe we need it to activate something in that vault statue area on Pandora and that’s our way to like some important Vault or the Eridian homeworld or smth and we gotta collect all the pieces to activate it. like it’s a teleporter. Maybe Rhys had a piece because that’s what was in the Vault of the Traveller. I mean it would make sense because if you didn’t want someone to have something, you fuckin hide it in a box that’s teleporting across the galaxy at random intervals. That might be our way to the Eridian Homeworld. Now wouldn’t that be neato...

[uhpeach]

oof personal rant about boy and relationship shit below the cut it’s way too long sorry

finally had a talk with boy last night... it started bc they are having a stoplight theme party tn where you wear green if ur single, yellow if it’s complicated, and red if ur taken and he was like “so what color are u thinking of wearing”... and i was like “green i guess bc im single”. but i said it as a joke.... and he was like... “oh well i was thinking yellow”. and i was like “ya me too i guess”... and he was like “ya idk i think most people will either be red or green so we’ll be some of the few yellow ppl which is kinda fun”. and i was like “ok. ya whatever cool”. and he was like “but i’ll wear whatever u want like if u want me to wear red i will”. and i was like “no. no pressure. yellow makes sense.” but then i was making sad girl face i guess and he was like “nooo stop with that face. you’re thinking about something what’s wrong” and then we like went innnnnn with like a convo about “us” or whatever the fuck.

anyways like the things he’s worried about when considering making us official is that he:

1. says he is an extremely jealous and controlling boyfriend? and he does not like who he is as a boyfriend so if he isnt technically a “boyfriend” he has no reason to get that way/can stop himself from being like that. which i like.... dont see at all. and like maybe he had a reason to be like that with his ex but honestly i dont do much or like get hit on so i see it as a non-issue honestly? like im too into him to like even need to be “controlled” like i genuinely want to do whatever he wants bc i just want to see him happy ? but then he said that when he sees me happy it makes him happy and when i keep crying like i have been it makes him really sad and scared that our relationship would be built on a bad foundation. and i see it as the opposite like in spite of what he has done and how he’s hurt me we’ve gotten past it and grown to know each other better and like each other a lot and im still here spending time with him so like idk we think about these things very differently i guess. 

2. he was thinking like soooo far in the future for some reason like... when i met him he was pursuing a finance degree in the business school but he like decided music was something he was really passionate about last year and since then he’s been like learning how to use like music production software and how to play piano since then. so he was saying like he doesn’t want me to see him as like a jobless bum loser when i could be with a guy has a secure upwardly mobile job making 60-70k right out of college while he’s like.... working as a DJ and practicing like music production stuff. and i was like..... what r u talking about like i don’t need you to support me? and if ur worried about how i’ll see you like i just want to see you happy i would rather see that than someone complaining about how much they hate their job and life every day bc like.... idk when you l*ve someone all you really want is to see them happy. and then i told him how i have bragged about him to people who like wish they could change majors about how he’s actually doing something he’s interested in rather than sticking with business school which he hatesss. 

(he started crying sometime during point two into point three)

3. he was worried about not being able to give me the level of attention ur supposed to give someone ur dating. like he was saying how he practices his music stuff in his free time but like when ur dating someone ur supposed to spend like all ur free time with them but i’ll have to like share that time with his music and he like doesn’t want me to feel like he has no time for me? but i was like dude i dont need you actively paying attention when we’re together like the other night i was doing my homework in his room while he practicing and i was just so stoked to be in the room with him even though we were doing our own things. and also like the people in relationships who spend allll their time with their significant others are people i get SO ANNOYED BY i was like dude... i dont want to be like any of those couples like of course i want to spend as much time as possible with you but i have other “relationships” i need to maintain that im not just gonna drop like some of my other couple friends have. like my friendships are super important to me, probably bc i have never been in a relationship so i like really do love and put a lot of focus on my friends, so if he needs time for his music and did need some private time to focus i would just spend that time maintaining my friendships because i love and want to spend time with them too? like it’s not that deep and i’ve been alone for so long im used to it.....

i think there was more but anyway he was thinking SO FAR AHEAD and asking me like what i want to do and where i want to go after graduation and im like ????? i .. dont know ??? omg ???? what does this have to do with like dating right now like are u never gonna date anyone again until ur ready to date them until marriage im ? confused? i.. legitimately was NOT thinking this far ahead ? but then he kept bringing up how like feelings fade and he like want to make sure his college friends are lifelong friends and how a breakup would make it so that’s a more difficult thing for us to be and im like i get it ? i have brought up that point to so many people like it used to be that i cared more about having him in my life forever like at least as a friend just bc i like him so much but now it’s harder to be like that bc i like him SO SO much like... idk imagining never having been official a few years down the road and just being that girl he had a “thing” with in college. bc that’s not what i want to be to him. like if we do stop liking each other i dont want to have to meet his future girlfriend or fucking wife and be like hi im olivia.. his friend from college. like just calling what we have “friendship” hurts so bad and if i had to look at someone he like loves in the future and call myself just a friend from college that would fucking kill me. like at least if we were exes i would be like hey im his friend-ex-then friend again from college. ya haha things didnt work out but i’ll always care about this guy ur lucky to have him. ya know. there’s a difference.

and all the things i was concerned about were suchhhh immediate issues like... im only not satisfied by the relationship status of like being a “thing” bc i want to actually be taken on dates..  and have someone who would be happy to like bring me coffee if im having a rough day (and like so it wouldnt be weird if i did little things like that too) and so we could like go on a trip together or like as it stands it would be weird for me to like bring him home for a few days and be like “hello family this is my good friend :) we are going to share a bed bc we are... friends :)” like you cant tell ur family about ur “thing” bc like o ur really good friends that care a lot about each other and have sex but ur not dating... like that gives parents too much to think about it’s gross.... and it would be weird for him to bring me to like his hometown to meet his friends and what not bc we are just like ... a thing? and i WANT to do that stuff like it would mean so much to me. but like you only do that with ppl ur dating and i want to be with someone who can like share their life with me and i can share mine with them if that makes sense. also u know what i think it’s fair of me to want to be able to call someone my boyfriend like. that is a word i have never gotten to use and when i like hear it in movies and tv shows and even when friends say it i feel like im being fucking stabbed. like i have never gotten to be a girlfriend and i feel like people see me as less of a person because of that, especially being in my 20s now. idk just like societal pressures are getting to me i hate being a sociology major im like super analyzing like the roles i am “supposed” to take to live up to what it is to be a woman in our society. like i have been a daughter, a friend, a coworker, a sister but i have never been a girlfriend and that is something i feel like an innate internalized NEED to experience idk like it’s just beat into you by media and peers and parents from when ur like a kid until you actually do fulfill the prescribed gender based roles... like if i am not a wife or a mother in my life i might fucking kill myself like ik roles and labels are meaningless but i NEED THEM to like give me identity and security. anyways. uh that was a lot. if u read all this and i don’t sound insane lmk!

[sea-lilli]

I’ve got some negativity to spew. I don’t feel it’s a lot, like last time, but it’s something I’ve been keeping in. My boyfriend and his daughter. I love him, probably. I’ve been waiting until all my parts are on board with saying it. One of the things holding back has been his daughter tho. I feel like if I said “I love you” to him, I’d have to also love her. And you know what, she is legitimately growing on me. I genuinely care for her. I appreciate how wild she is now, when it used to stress me out. She’s like my little buddy now. So parts of me do love her. Mostly all of my parts like her and some like her a lot. Idk about love yet.

The other day Jeremiah and I had a fight, a big one in terms of impact, but small in terms of fight management / relationship. Jeremiah wasn’t feeling well from his surgery, and so he was cranky. He was going off on a rant to me about how I am with Ramona. He said she will manipulate me, and doesn’t need to be coddled. Said that I was coddling her and teaching her to be sad when she wasn’t even necessarily sad to begin with. That she could get over her sadness.

So I took it in, and wasn’t going to say anything, but then something inside of me (Big?) was like, no! Speak your truth. It’s your responsibility and he needs to know now how you feel. Plus, Jeremiah had started, I think, to realize what a shitty thing that was, tho he didn’t get why, bc he started softening the rant. So I educated. I was so pissed I educated him on mental health and ended up telling him that Ramona could not express her feelings to him, because any time she gives him an emotion other than “happy,” he tells her she is faking it. I said it to be kind, because I really don’t think he saw it. But I said it mostly, because I was feeling frustrated he didn’t see it for himself. And I was frustrated that he is so much older, but still less emotionally intelligent than I am. But I was also angry at myself, because I know that’s a judgmental way to look at it- he didn’t have to go through the years of therapy I needed to.

He denied it very quickly, but I could tell it hurt him (in a good way) and made him think. And I think he’s made a change. He’s been.. kinder to her. He talked to me about how his parents treated him as a kid with his emotions and said that’s why he followed that path with her. Has made comments about knowing he needs to be careful about what he says to her when he’s in pain, because he’s cranky.

Anyway, that’s all resolved now. Our relationship is good. But then today. Ramona is sleeping over two nights in a row. So she will be here tonight, tmr and a little bit of Sunday morning.

I’m in a position at work where I’ve finally mostly adapted - but it’s still hard work. Even when my shifts are easy, it’s still stressful because it’s working with kids, and I’m not all the way comfortable with them yet. I don’t have much experience with them, because I spent my 20s (I can say things like that now) completely avoiding the shit out of them, other than a spare few. Anyway, I’m requesting a week where I can have two days off, but my supervisor is saying it will not be until next weeks schedule.

I’m worn out. I go to work, the kids need me. Specifically, Kiara needs me. She’s living in this potential DCS home mirroring what I went through as a kid. I see her multiple times a week. I’m the main support. I have to schedule massive self care to be able to support her. The parents need me to help them be better parents. My sister needs me. Ophelia needs me. My friends need me. My boyfriend has had major surgery and needs me. And Ramona needs me, hard, because I’ve been meeting needs of hers that her dad hasn’t been able to meet because of his surgery.

I just need some time alone where someone doesn’t need me. Where I can just take care of myself. *I* need me. And it was an incredibly difficult thing to do, to show up for myself first, because I ~do~ want to spend time with Ramona, and I do want to help Jeremiah, but I also… love me. I choose me first, always. I can’t pour from an empty cup. And my cup is 3/4 filled up but it’s still missing 1/4. I need my cup to be overflowing, if so many people need me. I can’t operate at a high level and be there for people in the way I want to be, if my own cup isn’t flowing.

There’s a part of me that doesn’t like Jeremiah. That says he just wants me there to basically babysit Ramona… to take off some of his responsibility. Because I can make Ramona just completely ignore him, she is so engaged with me. He can do whatever he wants to do and have freedom. He gets the benefits of having a kid, but not the hard parts if I’m taking the lead.

Which I also get. I would be the same way too. But also, I’m not a babysitter. I’m not the one who decided to have a kid. I listened to what people were saying about having kids and I steered clear. Also? It takes a shit ton of energy to take the lead always with her. Because i don’t have experience. Also, she just doesn’t… stop. It’s not my role to be a parent to her, or the favorite one at that.

I end up feeling resentful sometimes about the amount of energy I’m giving her. Especially now that I have to support all these kids, all the time. I feel like I need to ration my energy. It’s hard to keep up on my self care. And then I feel guilty about feeling resentful. For one, Jeremiah does it all the time. But also- he’s the one who had the kid, not me. I also feel the teensiest bit resentful because I’m not the main focus of Jeremiah when Ramona is around. It’s just the teensiest bit tho. But things change when she is around. I don’t get cuddled, touched, etc. We are like friends. Which is fine, but I miss that part of our relationship when she’s around. I also like that it’s almost like dating two different people in one. ❤️

Also, I made this choice, because, and I know this isn’t super healthy to hold onto stuff like this, and maybe an indicator it’s not all the way resolved, but the last time we had an argument, Jeremiah criticized the shit out of the way I interact with Ramona. He was judgy and mean, and tried to force me to conform to the type of parent he is. Which is a good type, but the stuff with emotions is not good. Also, my way is valid too, and I have never pushed that onto him (until pushed, and even then, just pointed out a flaw in his logic). I guess what I’m saying is that it wasn’t very fair, either. I also felt like he wanted me to throw away all of my years of therapy / emotional education, because of his opinions. He tried to put a lot onto me.

He’d also done it before, when we made pink sparkly unicorn cupcakes. I let Ramona dump the whole container of sprinkles onto the cupcakes, and he was angry. He’d walked away and let me deal with her by myself, instead of participating. So I guess a part of me was getting even with him for that, but a bigger part was like.. well? I bought them FOR her. They brought so much joy to do the sprinkles, and for so little money. Who else was ever gonna let her do sprinkles like that? She deserved sprinkle cupcakes. It was the best day ever with her. I’ve had fun with her before, but it’s always been stressful. This was JUST fun. I took a photo of them to save, because it was so great. It makes me smile each time I see it.

Anyway, on the way back from her mom’s house, Jeremiah was lecturing me and giving me all these rules about sugar etc. Started telling me to not undermine him, or break rules with her (she has specific sugar rules). He said because of the cupcake incident, that he could see me just feeding her sugar and being like “it’s okay! Just eat all the sugar!” .. which is totally not even related, and also not very fair. I always respect rules. He didn’t set any rules before he left me alone with her, so it was my rules. And I decided it wasn’t a big deal. He also said Ramona was manipulating me, because she knew her sugar rules, and that I didn’t know them. But she didn’t manipulate me. It was a conscience choice for me to allow her to do the sprinkle cupcakes. I will always remember it, and she probably will too.

So yah. That’s why I chose to not come back over tmr. I have to take care of me. + the feelings with him about that fight / him saying that stuff about me as a parent role.. without actually saying I would be in that role. Sometimes also I feel like he looks at me and sees a walking uterus. I know that’s also part projection tho. But it does bother me. I’m not a mom. I’m not a potential mom. I’m good with kids, but I don’t want them for me, and if Jeremiah didn’t have one, I probably wouldn’t have any more in my life than necessary.

He also made it very weird for me with Ramona now. Because I know he is judging me and thinking I’m too soft, gonna be manipulated by a seven year old.. etc. I just don’t wanna deal. It’s too much on top of others. I’m sorry Ramona has to feel the impacts, but also, 🤷🏼‍♀️. I need to value myself above others. Also, I feel that Jeremiah needs to reappreciate how much I help with her.

I feel guilty for saying that too. Bc he has been doing so much better since we had that fight. He’s been more taking the lead and more involved, less cranky, etc. I can see him being a good dad. But also, it’s the bare minimum to treat your kid okay (low bar for him to cross bc male). And I still have these feelings. I think it really hurt me when he was expecting all that from me and that maybe it was a boundary violation, but I didn’t realize until later that my boundaries had been crossed. Or that I crossed my own boundaries. But I’m not sure.

[bizarre-dollhouse]

Discussing the intersection of expectations, culture, and narrative structure when it comes to suspension of disbelief and perceived narrative quality (using Kuroshitsuji and Sherlock season 4 as examples)

The title makes this sound kind of smart but in reality this is another really really long and totally incoherent ramble that accomplishes nothing it’s just something I thought was interesting and wanted to rant about. I’m sorry. One day I’ll go back to writing clever text posts I just don’t know when that day will come.

TL;DR: I thought of what it would be like to describe the 2ct becoming canon to someone who’s never heard of it and it sent me on this long spiral of thought where I concluded that the cleverness of a plot twist can be weighted on toooootally different criteria depending on who you ask.

Honestly the 2ct becoming canon is the most bizarrely conflicting plot twist to ever happen to a fandom.

Like, on the one hand I legitimately think that it was a good twist although who knows it could fall apart in the future only time will tell. I say that because in retrospect it was blatantly obvious (especially in the Boat arc and the Green Witch arc) but Yana still framed everything in such a way that it still felt ambiguous. Evidence piled up piece by piece so each thing on its own could be like “nah, it’s just a coincidence” but once it’s all together it starts to be like “....that’s a lot of coincidences.....hmmmmmm”

Plus, it’s a fun twist even if you figure it out before hand. Also, if you did put all of the pieces together you get that fun feeling of accomplishment that comes with solving a puzzle. 

On the other hand, one of my friends was really into to kuro, but (as far as i know) she’s not caught up past the green witch arc and she doesn’t keep up with the fandom on tumblr, so she probs doesn’t know about the 2ct or that it’s canon (and even if she does then idk make this a hypothetical friend it still works).

I’m like

What would she even say if I told her that Ciel has a twin brother? I can’t imagine it being anything except for “what the fuck! that doesn’t make sense and came out of buttfuck nowhere!”

Which is weird bc, as stated earlier, I think it was a plot twist which was easy enough to figure out, but maybe if you weren’t looking for hints then it’s actually a bad twist.

But on another level, that doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either. Because a twist that you can figure out is good, but if it’s too obvious then it just feels like a stupid non-twist. And, like I said, I think Yana did a really good balance of “in plain sight” but also kind of ambiguous (that’s also just my opinion, though). 

Sooo...why do I think it would feel so out of left field and terrible if you didn’t figure it out?

I think the elephant in the room is the fact that it’s the most cliched plot twist in the history of western media. Ever. Any parody of a soap opera being used for comedic purposes shows how corny and stupid soap operas are by showing someone had a secret twin. Fucking Gravity Falls had the twin twist but they still had a fake show to make fun of how cliched their own canon plot twist was. It’s mostly only annoying if it’s to create artificial drama or legitimately comes out of nowhere (which I’ll get into later), but it’s still a joke at this point from being used in the past.

it’s a cultural meme.

And this is super fucking unfair because, as akumedeenglish points out, it’s not a trope in Japan, so for Yana and her Japanese fans this is probably purely and unironically rad.

But for any member of the Western fandom who hasn’t heard of the 2ct or just thought the idea was stupid, it feels really stupid. 

If I were to tell someone who doesn’t get into kuro theories something like “hey, John Brown turned out to be a grim reaper!” their reaction would probably be more positive even though there is waaaaaaaay less evidence for that actually being a thing even though i want that to be a thing.

But at least you can take it seriously.

I feel like the main reason people hated the 2ct even before it became canon is because it is physically impossible to not think it’s dumb on some level just because it’s been made fun of so much, even if from a technical writing structure it makes perfect sense.

Expectations and specifics can greatly affect the public perception of a good twist. My absolute favourite comparison to make is the twist in Sherlock season 4, which is literally the worst twist of all time ever. In that show, Sherlock also has a super secret sibling, except it makes no fucking sense. Sherlock apparently magically forgot about her, and apparently she had the ability to mess with him at anytime but just...chose not to for several years.

Also she can fucking control people and see the future in a show that is not science fiction and is supposedly set in reality.

Like nothing was building up to the twist except for like one line where Mycroft says something about “the last one” or something implying maybe there was another Holmes. Still dumb, and still last minute. But because of that people weren’t dedicated to an expectation that the sibling theory wasn’t canon, so there was no disappointment, just shock.

Followed by disappointment when the next episode aired.

But what made me paranoid was that my mom (who also hated season 4 of sherlock by the by) had a coworker who totally thought that it made sense and wasn’t contrived as shit. My mom said something that made me rethink the entire structure of a show like Sherlock compared to the Kuro manga.

“He was defending it”.

So of course I sat down to have an existential crisis about the nature of plot twists and narrative structure. “Am I just defending a shitty plot twist by telling myself it wasn’t shitty?” I thought to myself while sitting with my fist under my chin in an intellectual position of philosophical thought.

No, with a “maybe” on standby in case this whole Phantomhive twin thing totally sucks in future chapters.

Like i said, the 2ct follows the structural rules for creating a good plot twist. It makes narrative sense, and you could figure out before hand while still having fun with it. The same fucking plot twist was total bs in Sherlock for the reasons mentioned above (btw I should point out that I actually like the first two seasons of Sherlcok before anyone has my head. I would also like to point you towards the 1.5 hour video where someone describes how Sherlock doesn’t work as a mystery bc in that video there is a clip of the directer/writer saying “ah man, if we dove into Sherlock’s backstory, that would be a mistake and no one would buy it!” ....but you did. ah yes. clearly the sibling thing was a brilliant and well thought out twist and not something you made up to look clever. way to be consistent.)

Kuro is dumb, but it’s not stupid.

Sherlock looked smart but turned out to be incompetent. 

Plus, even though I love kuro, I’m not gonna sit here and be like “oh man, that boyband arc was totally necessary and not stupid at all! I’m sure glad Yana spent 3 whole volumes describing Ciel having wacky antics at a public school!” I may have Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to this manga but I also have standards. (Actually in all honesty I was falling out of love with the series because I hated the boyband stuff so much, but real ciel brought me back XD).

(Actually, I think a valid point about the 2ct becoming canon is that the timing was baaaaaad because it happened right after a point where people where drastically losing interest in the series).

But in the end, it is a legitimately bad twist for some people for a multitude of reasons. It is cliched, even if Yana didn’t know that and it only affects western readers. It can change people’s perception of the main character in a way they don’t like. If you’re an audience member who has never heard of the 2ct, it can really feel like it came out of buttfuck nowhere. Plus, for every reader, it kinda turned the series in a weird direction??? I legitimately have no idea where this is going. It could totally suck balls. Yana could unintentionally make it follow the evil twin cliche to a point of nausea. My only ray of confidence is coming from the fact that she had a plan for this and I have foolish optimism.

So I guess at the end of the day it comes down to suspension of disbelief and level of investment/curiosity? Like, how much are you willing to accept it as a twist that makes sense and are you interested enough to see how it plays out.

But like I said, I still think it’s a good twist based on dramatic stakes, narrative consistency, and the fact that it was set up in a clever way. This becomes a lot more obvious when Kuro is compared to Sherlock season 4.

That’s my rant. bye.

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 11 - “I Was Able To Dodge That Bullet” - VILMA

I literally look like the biggest boo boo the fool right now. Like I’m so cocky and stupid and tumblr survivor makes me want to eat glass

https://youtu.be/GAe_c8bHBjc

Okay honestly, after that tribal, I feel fucking awesome, and so many people still have no idea what happened First off, Jared I am so sorry that you believed my PMs during Tribal that I thought I had the votes to get out Nicole.. I knew one of you would play something, and I high key would not be surprised if Nicole ended up actually having another big ticket advantage sitting in her pocket from ghost island, but im going to wait on that concept for now until i see something from them. Maybe we can flush another advantage out of their pockets? lmao I am protecting Jared's role in this for as long as I possibly can, and Roxy's too. I had Dan hammering me for who told about the plan, and then ofc Alex wanted to know too, but he can eat a dick for all I care (in the context of the game of course.... love him to death as a person), and I'm just not going to tell anyone. I want Jared to maintain all the relationships he has on a 100% trust basis, so that way if he feels like he's gotta tell me something, he's going to be able to have that information I had to fill Regan in, and I know she is still 100% on my side because she is being VERY open about who she wants out after what happened this round. Dan? I really really want to trust him again, and I think I cut a huge tie of his removing Ricky from the game, and now I have to give him a little bit of what he wants.. I want to pick his brain and really see his top choice of who he wants to go this round, and I am going to try to help him be successful in that move, so that he can trust me. I really want him to say that he wants to go for someone, and for me to 100% support him on it. It's going to be one of the biggest leaps hopefully, in his eyes, that I trust him again and I've got his back.. As for Asya, who was another one who I was surprised about.. She doesn't know that I know yet, that she spilled our alliance to Ricky, and that Ricky dished that information back to Dan, and THAT is another reason as to why Dan didn't trust me, so I'm keeping my eye on that for now, but I really just want Asya to trust me also. I knew I needed Asya and Dan back on my side the MOST after this entire debocle, and by getting rid of Ricky, which cuts off both of their ties with a strong player, I draw them closer to me, and them seeing me as one of their bigger options. The best thing with Asya too is that we had a legitimately genuine conversation about how we could get closer and we should open up more about our personal lives and not even get to know each other on a game level, just because this is our second game going deep together, and I want to get to know her y'know!!! I think my position is definitely a million times better than it was before tribal, but I'm definitely not out of the weeds yet. Dan and Asya seem to be back and genuine with me, and I know Jared isn't going to just save me one round, and then take me out the following round. It'd be foolish, so i think I've got that relationship too, along with my strong allegiances with the people I've already been working with, knew about every facet of that move, and still trust me (i.e. Augusto, Roxy, Vilma, Regan). I know that my chances of making it to the end are getting smaller and smaller because what I did to protect myself, and HOW I pulled the move off really impressed my closest allies, and I know the gold medal is a lot more appealing when there's 6-7 people left in the game than loyalties, so I know my chances are already shot, especially because the only people I think would actually want me to go to the end with them are Augusto and Vilma, and even then is a bit of a stretch, so now it's just a game of how deep I can get and how well I can play off everything that's just happened....... As for my next move? Literally chop Alex's head off with a machete until he's into a million pieces, cooked in the shitty ass pot we've been using for 34 days, and then be gone :) 1. Telling me at tribal that we weren't going to rocks LIVE to try to get me to change my idol play was a MOOD. Alex is dead ass one of the worst liars ever, and if you know you can't let things come out of your mouth and be 100% confident you're being convincing with what you're saying, then leave it over text.. like lol 2. Looking like his dog fucking died when I played my idol was priceless, but also extremely telling of how badly he wanted me out 3. Lying to me the entire day and not telling me about the vote...... bitch bye 4. Saying "ha ha" when I said "final two my ass" when the votes were being read 5. RE ENFORCING THE F2 WE HAD FOUR DAYS BEFORE THIS TRIBAL COUNCIL HAPPENED...... literally such an lol So yea. I think I have more. I definitely would have to go back in my host chat, but in the realm of the game, everything Alex has done has made me want nothing more than for him to go, and the best thing about this entire concept is that I think there are people on "the other side" who would not mind voting out Alex either because his social game kinda sucks and he's a liability to keep around because he is the entire reason the Dan blindside got blown up, and I know Jared was pissed about that.. The reasons are too good, but now it's just if I can pull it off. At the end of the day, I'm on cloud nine after that last tribal, and it's time to go to work to see if I can make a thing or two more go my way.. I'm just trying to survive as long as I can and continue to have fun playing the game, bc tbh, I'm having a fucking blast right now lmao

(A LITTLE LATER)

THIS IS ALSO ANOTHER REALLY FUNNY MOOD BIG PRO OF RICKY GOING HOME WAS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE REGAN COME BACK TO RICKY SAYING "oh yea johnny said in the main chat that you wanted me out by accident" BC I DID DO THAT, BUT NOW RICKY ISN'T HERE TO TELL THE TALE Hopefully Regan isn't mad at me and finds out about it at some point, but Ricky said he didn't even pick up on it when I said it the first time lmao oops? Ready for this auction tomorrow!!!!!!

I stan trying our best to win things in the auction, only to win absolutely nothing. I am laughing so hard haha my life Is falling apart, I can't even get an idol, Nicole goes to Ghost Island. I am literally shook. It's not really bad for my game? And I feel like I'm good at Touchy Subjects? Idk, I'm just hoping I make single digits. As far as my game goes, I'm gonna try to be super social this round and make up some time. I want to get back with Johnny and Augusto and really form a bond with them again because I feel kinda bad about the last round, but also not at the same time?? dflkjdaslkfdj idk? I feel like this game is picking up and I really like where I'm sitting.

that auction sucked

https://youtu.be/vrhmDKxdB7w

I forgot to make a confessional again. Anyways, so the true tea is I have no clue what is going on in this game at this point. I’m pretty sure I’m the weakest competitor here? Which is fun because nobody will go for me heh heh heh heh, and this round they can’t anyway because I am on GHOSF ISLAND! It’s very lonely here and Isaac has not yet let me play the game but it’d be super cute if I got something else that I could will to Jared because I think he might be in trouble this round. We are going to hang out with Johnny today in person and I CANT talk about the game with either of them which is a blessing because I feel like it’s all they would talk about with me. Anyways I think everyone knows....I’m not giving my 100% effort to this game right now. But once I tackle this depression and my hair grows out and I lose ten pounds and get my ghost island game and get an idol and idol out Johnny even though he’s immune and Johnny drags Vilma and Dan out with him so I don’t have to ever vote Dan out, it’s over for your bitches. Straight up.

https://youtu.be/3rwZpqAyoUE

This round should be interesting? I kinda feel good? But I’m not entirely sure obviously. I feel like I have no other play but be with Augusto, Johnny, and Vilma. I feel like I could get closer to Jared, but I’m tired of playing the middle. I feel like I’m doing okay for not even doing well in any of these challenges. I’m trying not to be too much of a comp threat this game. I love my edgic being INV this round probably bc I’m not doing shit

I think my name has been completely worked out of the discussion for this round. I hope that's accurate, if not... good on everyone. Now I just have an important game altering decision to make. Augusto or Alex? Well, it turns out Regan might be idoling Augusto? Which is good I guess, but if Alex plays an idol too, THEN WHAT. So I could throw my vote on Dan, with the potential of it going to a tied vote. If I got rocked out because of that?? Never forgiving myself. I don't know what I'm going to do quite yet, but I have less than 40 mins to figure it out. The other thing is that I could be getting votes and look like an even bigger idiot for making this confessional. Oof. Okay let's take a look-see at the numbers. Johnny, Augusto, Roxy, *Regan- Alex Alex, Asya, Dan, Vilma- Augusto * = unsure. I could weaken Dan tremendously here by taking out Alex, but I'm also taking out someone who I've been loyal to the whole time. I have built a lot of trust with Johnny by leaking last rounds vote, and I literally met him and Ryan from Mykonos with Nicole today in Times Square. And then Disney Amanda and Steffen showed up. Iconic? I am partial to testing Johnny's trust, but, I don't really trust him at all. I really really trust Roxy though, which could be a huge mistake. I see her and Asya as frontrunners at this point. Anyways this is getting rambling but this game is a MESS and I feel like a sapphire-idoly boii Tune into tribal, it could very well be a good one folks.

Aaaaalright last round was such an emotional rollercoaster I had to skip confessionals to avoid having to cringe at them afterwards. Here's a recap: Earlier I was told rumors that Johnny had been talking around telling several people that Dan and I wanted to vote Nicole out, which I don't ever recall telling to anybody so when I heard about the rumors I was obviously suuuper confused. Days went by and I had heard from multiple different people that Johnny was the one to start those rumors but I remained suspicious, because I couldn't really see a good enough motive for Johnny to do that. People kept telling me that he has a tendency of wanting to play the puppet master and wanting to shake things up and cause drama between people. I didn't want to believe it but since nobody ever came forward to deny the rumors I decided to keep my eye on him. Next tribal I heard Johnny was getting targeted, and originally I was trying to see if there was any way I could save him from going home, but I knew Dan was unhappy with the Johnny rumors and would likely flip to take him out, so I decided it would be smart of me to go along with the majority and sacrifice him. I also saw him as a big threat, so even though I genuinely like him, I didn't think it would have been a horrible thing from my perspective if he went home. But a little over an hour before tribal Johnny comes forward to tell me that he has an idol! Plus he asked me permission to pretend it was the idol I found from Takamaka. I WAS SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK because I ended up somehow unwillingly positioned in the middle of this whole mess and whatever I decided to do I would end up backstabbing someone and making them angry. I was having a major breakdown in my host chat but let's not talk about that. Then Johnny asked me to actually vote HIM so people wouldn't suspect we were working together....... O-M-G. That plan sounded perfect; I wouldn't have to backstab anyone and I would have a chance to get out of a shitty situation without too much blood on my hands. Johnny tried to make me change my vote to Nicole last minute but I refused and voted Johnny anyways to keep on everyone's good side, whoops. I was also pretty happy Johnny decided to idol Ricky out, since I never talked to him too much and he was close to Dan and Asya, who I hope will now more likely rely on my help if they ever need extra numbers to make a move. After the vote I tried to clear things up with Dan, Asya and Johnny and I think nobody is too angry at me anymore which is nice. I was afraid I'd end up in the middle of a huge drama and I'd like to consider myself a drama-free person so phew I'm so happy I was able to dodge that bullet. Okay this confessional is already super long I think I'm writing a separate one about this round see you soon HEHE.

I’ll make a more in depth one soon but some people are trying it tonight and like... where has this trying energy been all game (@Alex) because it jumped out all of a sudden! If I do go home tonight, I think I’ve played a solid game thus far and had a pretty good experience as people such as Johnny, Vilma, Regan, Dan, Roxy, and even Jared sometimes have been awesome to me and made things fun! ❤️

okay uhm confessional time i----- I won immunity, which was awesome. The killer touchy subjects strategy of putting what you think the majority is going to say both times came in CLUTCH In terms of the touchy subjects answers? nothing really surprises me. being predicted to be voted out next just makes the most sense since seven people just voted for me.. so I understand why i got that one. I should've put myself too tbh, but I think I got the more intuitive ones correct, so that made me feel kinda good Tonight's tribal? I'm praying Alex goes home.. The kid still hasn't come to me about voting for me, after swearing up down left and right a f2 with me, and I find it kinda shookening, especially since his name is going around tonight, and I'm genuine when I say that if he just approached me, I probably wouldn't have been so hellbent on wanting him out, but oh well.. i hope he goes I know Augusto is getting the other bulk of the votes? I'm not SUPER sure who is voting where.. i've heard dan is being a dickhead again and he might go for augusto. I know Regan might be playing her idol on Augusto at tribal, which would be #dramaaaaaaaaaa and I really hope that this is alex or asya maybe playing a vote steal to get the numbers on their side, because then regan would LEGITIMATELY have to play the idol.. oh well, we'll see. she said she'd play it on him also in other news, I hungout with Jared and Nicole IRL, and because we RESPECT the game that's going on, when we were walking around the city, I spent a lot of time talking to Jared about today's vote and how arbitrary it's been for us to be on opposite sides, and guaranteeing that if we joined together that there'd be nothing stopping us, and then he offered me a 100% f3 with him, that we'd try to get to the end of the game together. I am 100% planning on accepting it with the intended purpose of keeping it true. I just hope that it isn't one of those things where he's like "oh yea we're not going to vote you" but then votes out all of my closest allies instead and im stuck in the game getting dragged to finals via jared's strategic play, but honestly, I believe the man. He seemed very genuine, and if he isn't being genuine, then he's a snake and it is what it is anywhom.. praying augusto stays and nothing bad happens to him. alex going would be best for my game, especially because I just think he deserves what's coming to him after how last round went with him and I, and the excuses he made for breaking our f2

I trust no one but Johnny fuck everyone. Fuck wasting my idol. But I have to  Jared and Johnny both told me to play it so he res to that

[bravdenschenn]

Hi! Sorry if this is a weird question or whatever, but could you tell me a little about the Flyers? Like fun facts, some of your favorite players, stuff like that? :)

hi!!! first off– not weird! i am approximately 200% of the time always willing to talk about the philadelphia flyers! secondly, if i may, @the-ghost-bear recently made this post and it’s an awesome thing to check out for some insight and humor on players that are detrimental to the (current and) near future of the flyers, so 10/10 do recommend giving it a read! i’m not really gonna include many of the players on that post tbh!!

so with that said, onto some of my favorite orange boys and my favorite things about the team…

jake voracek–

actually a garbage man, taking out the trash for us. one of our highest scorers the past few seasons since i started really watching. my second favorite beard in the league (behind brent burns, but we’ll save my crying about the sharks for another day!). one of our surprisingly many gingers, bc the flyers aren’t orange enough, i guess. petting his hair may or may not be on my bucket list. probably going to become cousin it from addams family at some point? apparently a big bruce springsteen fan who takes his teammates to see the boss in concert which is one of my favorite things about him from one big boss fan to another. probably not relevant to everyone’s interests but.

wayne simmonds–

ALL STAR MVP WAYNE THE TRAIN SIMMONDS. pk subban wisely advises you should never fight wayne simmonds. shayne gostisbehere wisely advises you should never prank wayne simmonds. they are both very smart men. campaigned for the 2017 all star weekend with puppies, so if he’s not Your Fave, you’re probably wrong. a good canadian and 100% one of philadelphia’s top 5 favorite humans in existence. he deserves so much. sass level 100.

brandon manning–

i feel like it’s just important to give him a shout out for being soft and sweet and shy and according to @cneuvvora he smells good so is he the perfect man? probably. imo very underappreciated on the whole which is sad. if you take anything from this answer, it’s to go give brandon manning some love.

claude giroux–

you may recognize him as having been captain of team canada for worlds this year but truly he is the captain of my heart. you also may recognize him from “fuckin pigeon” bc truly top 5 hockey chirps. appropriately, also a ginger. maybe was not the best player this year (he had hip surgery last summer tho) but at least he has this skill going for him. mostly just wants to love you. unarguably has the best fiancee (ryanne breton check her out it won’t be a mistake) and the best dogs (who ryanne just made an instagram for harvandcharlie 100% worth a follow). got absolutely hilariously punched in the face by fellow flyer radko gudas during worlds and i laugh so hard i cry every time i see that gif.

brayden schenn–

you don’t even really want me to start talking about brayden schenn because i will legitimately go on for hours probably whilst crying. he’s a good soft canadian boy who loves food and has the brightest smile i’ve ever seen (HE SMOOSH HIS NOSE I’M!!!! so sorry i’m like this…) and allie’s post i linked above does a great job at talking about him. he is my #1 favorite flyer, though. that’s probably obvious.

michal neuvirth–

i’ve heard a lot of speculation we only resigned him to get rid of him in the expansion draft. i’m not going to get into all of that though. he’s still a flyer at least for now right!!! but regardless, he is one of my absolute favorite flyers and in my top 3 favorite goalies no matter where he ends up at any point in his career. one third of our czech connection he is dating radko gudas’ sister and i have no doubt they are going to have one of the cutest babies i’ve ever seen soon (at least, i don’t think the baby was born yet, but it’s gotta be soon??? correct me if i’m wrong). he just seems like one of the sweetest guys ever and this post is very accurate. sounds really lovely speaking czech. i just want the world to appreciate michal neuvirth.

michael raffl–

brayden schenn’s bromo as far as i’m concerned. the victim of one of my personal favorite videos in existence. got injured and didn’t play the last chunk of the season and i miss him A Lot. yet another ginger; it’s frankly absurd how many gingers we have. would anyone back me up if i started a conspiracy theory about the flyers collecting gingers? also, apparently a supermodel sometimes. idk he’s just a good funny dude and not a bad player at all!!

honestly i wish the flyers did more as far as behind the scenes/extras things, because they don’t have a lot and i’m blanking on any Quirky/Funny Flyers Things™? mostly, we cry a lot.

but they are a goofy group of boys who i love dearly

and who are just v soft and smiley

also travis konecny doesn’t know how to blow a kiss? important things to know. someone help this man.

great at sinning

probably should not take any jobs requiring them to spell after retirement

also kind of hot messes when it comes to video games (my favorite video of the flyers ever)

fellow flyers fans feel free to add on ur favorite flyers things!!

sorry this is probably v bad but i hope it at least made someone smile!!! (also none of the pics/gifs/vids or anything are mine just fyi in case anyone thinks otherwise i am just using them for reference about goofy orange boys thanks!)

[9thdoor]

Runner 5 Questionnaire

Spoilers for S2M18, general beginning of S4, S4M21. Others implied but not a lot directly stated.

1.) Does your Five speak? If not, why not?

Yes! Sort of. She stopped speaking entirely near the beginning of the apocalypse around the time she was at Mullins. A certain incident happened which mirrored when she lost her older sister at the start of the outbreak wherein one of her. Um. I can’t remember the word for fellow army member. They were friends I guess and Finley’s talking over comms ended up giving away the other friend’s position and so yeah. She stopped speaking after that and didn’t talk at all for like, upwards of 3 months of her time at Abel.

But (gay warning) as she spent more time around friends at Abel who all tend to be pretty talkative, she slowly started talking again and is slowly coming out of her shell because she’s comfortable again and has faith in her friends and finally some restored trust in herself not to get people killed. Granted some things totally disrupted that increase in talking (i.e. Archie dying) but generally: yes.

That was super long I’m sorry.

2.) Who are your Five’s best friends?

Sam and Maxine for sure!! Finley’s also super close with Jack and Eugene who. Generally come as a pair friendship wise but she’s probs a bit closer with Jack just because they have kinda similar habits of poking fun at Eugene. She’s also getting along with Paula a lot more but even though she knew the circumstances of her helping Van Ark it was. Kinda tough to get past but now they’re good and Finley spends lots of time helping Sam babysit baby Sara. EDIT HOW COULD I FORGET JODY HOLY COW FINLEY AND JODY GET ALONG PRETTY WELL like more than pretty well they complement and tease each other lots even when Finley isn't talkative there's a lot of silly-face-making and such. I love Jody.

3.) Does your Five have any love interests?

Hello have you heard of our lord and savior 5am? Listen there’s literally no other like. You can’t argue the fact that they obviously really love each other, see Exhibit A *points to S2M20 and links you to a totally canon and not edited clip*. I love them and they love each other.

But if we’re talking about not pure blissful canon happiness then gee, sign me up for 5imon and 5ara. Two other ships I can totally get behind the whole, feelings happen thing and then well. Bumps in the road happen.

4.) Who does your Five not hang out with outside of work?

Uhhhh first instinct is just like. Janine. Maybe a bit more as seasons progress but definitely nowhere near the people from question 2. Nadia and Veronica not so much either, probably, because Finley and Veronica think in completely different ways and Nadia is mostly glued to Veronica.

5.) What kind of hairstyle does your Five sport?

She’s got relatively dark, mostly straight and sometimes frizzy hair. It goes like, idk, down just a bit past her shoulders to just above the middle of her chest. Even though she has to wear it up for runs she finds like, lots of comfort in having her hair down and wearing comfortable, non-restrictive clothing like sweaters or stuff when there’s a chance to relax. It feels a lot like pre-outbreak for her and makes her feel less tightly wound. Whoops I got totally off track. There are also bangs, not sidebangs but you know. Anime mixture of straight across and not.

All of these answers are so long I am so sorry

6.) What is your Five’s relationship to Abel D&D night?

Oh my god ok. This is where Finley being a self insert genuinely comes into play because! She definitely loves D&D, but like, definitely isn’t super inclined to initiate doing things during the campaign and kind of relies on the rest of the party to carry the story along for quite awhile when she isn’t as talkative. And that’s a pretty long time.

She joined the D&D group at the continued invitation of Sam and the rest of the D&D crew and it was for sure one of the things that got her more comfortable at Abel. Like, she definitely spent time just sitting in on sessions at first, and Sam would kind of let her see the DM stuff because she sure wasn’t gonna like. Tell anyone and eventually around the time she starts talking more she gives him a bit of ideas and such but then she wants to play so that, like Stops. She doesn’t spoil the stuff Sam’s planned for the story that she already knew bc she knows he’s a huge dork and that would be evil. I mean can you even imagine how excited Sam gets about plots that he comes up with. He kills me honestly.

This is all ending up super rambley and I’m kind of figuring it out as I go along I am sorry

7.) What’s one wacky headcanon about Abel?

This is a tough one because you know there are undoubtedly a bunch of Abel inside jokes that are perpetuated on Rofflenet and on Radio Abel and on the community notice board but I can’t think of something specific thats…”wacky”. Hm. I’m stealing this bc I just saw Kenzie on twitter talking about how loud the gate to Abel is and it’s definitely a thing where everyone who isn’t involved in being a runner or on comms or anything, just like normal citizens continually ask why it’s that loud. Y’know the things that everyone in a house or school complains about but does nothing to fix Ever? Yeah this is that. I feel like after visiting Abel the Minister would want to fix that but idk what I’m even talking about anymore. Um. Next.

8.) What’s one wacky headcanon about your Five?

This is legitimately difficult to think of ummm. Oh she’s made a habit of taking merch shirts on supply runs. Like, everything from tees saying “I ❤️ UK” to “Jacob’s Hot Dog Emporium,” and that’s basically her entire run wardrobe. It started as convenience but ended up being really fun and sometimes people grab shirts for her when on runs to unique spots without her. Even tho like I mentioned she loves wearing sweaters when she’s allowed to relax, that’s obviously not possible on missions because of riskiness of baggy/catchy clothing so location merch t-shirts are her run gear. That’s like, half-wacky right?

9.) How did your Five end up at Mullins base?

This is something I haven’t thought tons about but I’m gonna do my best to give a general idea. Like I mentioned in #1, Finley lost her sister at the start of the outbreak in a really tight situation which I haven’t considered all the details of (but which definitely involved the “No! You stay here, be safe, okay?” trope), after which she had no idea. She stayed where her sister told her to for a fairly decent amount of time and when she finally left to search for supplies and just anyone who was still alive, she was found by a Mullins patrol. She doesn’t know pretty much anything about the status of the rest of her family and just kind of…goes with it because she has nothing else. It’s a pretty Bad Time but yeah.

10.) What doesn’t your Five miss about the pre-apocalypse world?

Oh man, lots of stuff, primarily working. That sounds bad and lazy but she had lots of troubles really putting big effort into jobs that were entry level and 100% necessary to make any career progress but was a good people person so her dad kept pushing her to hold some job through college but she didn’t do too well at that and it ended up just majorly stressing her out. So that’s something she loves about Abel! Her “job” is running and helping and doing her best to make it so everyone can live good lives and she loves that, even if it’s a lot of responsibility.