#like i still do that like ill be feminine but youre not gunna like it because i dress like a monster high doll

[timeisacephalopod]

I don't know why my mom thought I was any kind of straight as a kid my favorite Scooby Doo character was Velma.

[eimagines]

old friend // jimmy darling

pairing: jimmy darling x reader genre: fluffy and smutty! summary: your family visit the freakshow to greet some old friends. jimmy and you can’t keep your eyes or your hands off of each other. warnings: spicy stuff, you already know. unprotected car bonnet sex lol x word count: 3800

a/n: prompt ‘the skirt is supposed to be this short’ requested by  @gooberthemanatee ! hope you like it lovely, apologies for how long this took and my disappearance! this one is for you! also, I am working through all requests at the moment!

“Remember to be on our best behaviour today everybody,” Elsa announced over breakfast as she delicately wiped away food from off of peppers chin, “An old friend is coming to visit and I would very much appreciate making her and her children’s stay with us as pleasant as possible.” 

“Who’s this old friend?” Bette asked quietly to Jimmy who sat facing her and Dot on one of the wooden breakfast benches.

“An old-timer,” Jimmy explained as he bit into an apple, “Her and her kids used to tour with the show back in the 30’s.”

“She was an absolute star, used t’ bring in hundreds in ‘er prime. It’s a real shame she’s taken ill.” Ethel spoke.

“A shame it is indeed, and we should feel privileged her one wish was to visit her old family.” Elsa finished.

“Why did she leave the show?” Dot asked, suspiciousness in her tone.

“Her eldest son went to college, got himself a great job and bought the family a home. And a giant home in the city is better than this dump, so they moved.” Jimmy explained glumly.

“Now don’t ya be ac’in’ all glum Jimmy. We ain’t got no bitterness towards ‘em. They the loyalist bunch we known. Never been a birthday or holiday we ain’t got a card off ‘em. Those kids always kept in touch on behalf of their mother, even when she got sick, precious [Y/N] must always ‘ave ‘er hands full without always writin’ to our lot.” Ethel scolded.

“Why couldn’t she ever write herself?” Dot asked.

“Well my dear, you see, some freaks are born with missing limbs, some, too many and some, like our old friend, aren’t born with any whatsoever,” Elsa explained.

Bette looked concerned. 

“She’s not been in the best of health for years,” Jimmy explained upon seeing Bette’s concerned look, quieting his voice as not to cause any upset, “I think she’s on her way out. She’s been wanting to come back for years but never had a good enough excuse to do the journey.”

Almost as if on cue, a rickety old 1948 sky blue Austin 8 came clanging down the dirt road and into the front entrance of the freak show, it’s wheels coated in dust and it’s paint job chipped and slightly rusted. As soon as the wheels came to a holt the back two doors came flying open and two young boys - one no older than eleven, the other fifteen - charged out onto the dusty path with sticks in hand as they chased each other wildly. Pepper stood quickly, ready for playtime. 

“Boys! Come here, if you’re gunna run wild and not help at least put sunscreen on. I’m not nursing you if you burn!” You called after them as you stepped out into the hot Florida air. 

“Darling! Look at how much you have grown!” Elsa called as she hurried over to you, enveloping you into a big hug, “The boys too. Come come now I’ll help fetch your mother.” 

The opposite car door was opened next and the specific old friend in question helped into a shabby old wheelchair. She was frail, weak, hard to hear as she spoke with a grave voice, but gave lots of love to her reunited friends as much as she could. Elsa helped with getting your mother out of the scorching sun, making your day seem a little less hard; Elsa looked as though she had appointed herself as the nurse for the day much to your relief. You had looked after your mother ever since you could remember, and cared for your younger brothers the best you could too. You almost never had a moment for yourself. To come back to the place you had grown up, be showered with love and given time to do what you wanted was a holiday you had prayed for.

The boys were occupied playing with Pepper as both familiar and new faces greeted and welcomed you. You had been born into the freak show, grew up around it. You hadn’t been back for ten years but somehow felt as though you’d been gone merely a week. You felt at home here. As much as you were thankful your elder brother had gotten you out of performing circus acts for a living and sleeping in a cramped little camper every day until you were 16, you’d missed the atmosphere of show life. You’d missed the laughs, the parties, hell, you’d even missed the fights and the hecklers. But honestly, you’d missed a certain Jimmy Darling more than any of that.

You could recognise his charming smile from miles away. His cocky stance, his slight smirk and his ashy blonde hair that shaped his face so perfectly. He’d bulked up since his teenage years, his build bigger and stronger looking. You caught his eye, standing at the back of the greeting crowd of people, his hands tucked away in his pockets shyly. 

You approached him, thankfully, as Jimmy had worried you wouldn’t even remember him, too embarrassed by the thought he’d talked himself out of greeting you first. 

“Jimmy, Darling,” you spoke his name fondly, the way his name rolled off your tongue spreading the feel of nostalgia coursing throughout your body. “What kind of half-assed welcome was that?” You laughed, as did he.

“Still got a mouth on you I see.” He smiles fondly, remembering how much trouble you’d get in for having absolutely no filter. Not to be expected of a “lady”. “I didn’t think you would remember me.”

“How could I forget my Jimmy?” You smirked. “I mean you sure have changed, but not that much.”

“Ahh yeah,” Jimmy held up his hands on display, “Still got these fellas, you saw them right?”

“No you dingbat, I’d recognise that smile of yours anywhere.” You giggled giving him a giant hug which he returned tightly with a laugh.

“We’re having a big dinner tonight to welcome you all back so wear something nice!” Elsa shouted as she scuttled into her tent.

“You guys gonna be okay stayin’ in this old thing?” Jimmy asked as you finished tying the last lace on your brother's shoes, sending him bouncing up and out of the open camping van door. 

The old camping van you used to live in still sat old and rusted, collecting dust and homing spiders. It didn't look all that different from when you left. Everyone had tried their best to sweep and clean it up before you’d arrived, yet the heaters were broken and the sides of the van were worn down and gritty; you prayed that tonight wouldn't be too cold and harsh for you all.

“Course we will,” You responded confidently, “As long as the spiders stay at a regular distance away from me, I think we’ll be good to go.” You smiled. Jimmy, as gentlemanly as ever, had helped you carry your bags back home and even stayed help you with the boys.

“Y’know you don’t have to stay and help me with everything Jimmy, although I do appreciate your company,” You said with a smile as you got up from your seating position on the weathering couches in the rear end of the van and popped on the stove to brew some coffee.

“Yeah, well, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t,” Jimmy asked, getting two mugs down from the shelf above your head causing him to lean into the back of you slightly. You felt your face heat up at the closeness of him behind you.

He washed out the mugs and set them down as you poured them full off coffee, the strong aroma filling the air quickly and masking the musky smell of dust that seemed to have seeped into every crevis of the place. 

You sat facing Jimmy, chatting about where you had both been, what you had been up to. You couldn’t help but eye Jimmy up as he laughed with you. The way his cheeks lifted up so high when he smiled that his eyes crinkled and deep dimples showed.

“Does the Ferris Wheel still work?” You asked with a laugh, trying to distract yourself from drooling over your old friend.

Jimmy was thankful you’d brought up the wheel, he was wondering if his oogling of you was becoming noticeable. He couldn’t help being increasingly interested in you. He always had been, but seeing how strong of a woman you had become, how beautiful and confident you were, had sent his mind into overdrive. He noticed the way you shyly looked away when he made you laugh, the way your hair fell over your glowing skin and your smile seemed to light up the dark room you both sat in. He felt overly infatuated with you already.

“Barely, it’s still as rickety as it always has been.” Jimmy laughed along with you, a thought entering his head as he sipped at his hot coffee, “Remember that old car? The yellow convertible one we used to take out at night when we thought everyone was sleeping?”

“Oh my god!” You laughed upon realisation of your earlier teenage memories, “We used to steal the keys from Elsa and drive into town! And then one night we got super drunk and it rained and we left the roof down and Elsa had a breakdown cause her leather seats got wet!”

“We still have it y’know? It's not been runnin’ for a while, far too old for it now I think, but it's parked up past the Lake. After dinner, we could walk up to there if you want?” Jimmy offered.

You’d never said yes to a plan so fast in your life.

You’d been slightly embarrassed to leave the van for dinner that evening. You’d not brought a huge array of clothing for the trip, but you had brought along your favourite pencil skirt and blouse. 

The pencil skirt accented your womanly figure, a glorious blend of both practicality and glamour. The bold red colour matched your soft white feminine blouse perfectly. The hemline normally skated just below your knees, but now hugged your body tighter than usual, the hemline resting on your thighs. 

You’d thought about switching your skirt out for the pleated one you wore earlier, but Elsa’s instance on dressing nicely replayed in your head, and you didn't want to underdress and possibly offend.

You’d walked with the boys towards the main tent, food freshly prepared and filling your stomach with growls. No-one had really paid attention to your slight wardrobe malfunction; no-one but Jimmy.

As you sat and chatted to the new members of the Freakshow, sharing old stories and new, you watched him up as he stood leaning against one of the heavy wooden pillars. Jimmy had become a proud man, a man that you simply couldn’t take your eyes off. You noticed the way in which his redshirt hugged his broad shoulders and his dark eyes glanced over in your direction every once in a while. If you caught him staring he wouldn't look away; his confident glare both bold and endearing.

Once the boys were fed and easily distracted amongst all of the interesting people they had not been acquainted with and the hundreds of activities Salt and Pepper bestowed upon them, you snuck off behind the layers of curtains that separated the back of the stage to the front. Music and laughter got quieter and more drawn out as you carefully tip-toed amongst the darkness.

Everything was laid out exactly like you remembered it; the assortment of props, costumes, missing lighting rig pieces, ropes and chairs. You fumbled with a set of Jimmy’s juggling balls, remembering fondly how he’d nervously shake before going on stage, how he’d whisper his lines to himself under his breath, how his eyes shone under the bright lights of the red and white tent.

“You lookin’ for something?” Jimmy’s voice seemed to appear out of nowhere, startling you as your fingers grip on the balls diminished and they bounced onto the cold floor below. “Sorry princess didn't mean to scare you,” Jimmy said with a laugh.

“I almost forgot what this place looked like,” you said fondly as you bent down to pick the props up off of the floor, the dusty air filling your lungs and pink tones rising to the apples of your cheeks, forever flustered by Jimmy’s name calling. “How long is the walk to the car?” 

“Not far at all,” Jimmy said, holding his arm out for you to take, “If you get tired I can always carry you there.” He said with a wink. 

You gave him a playful smack as you laughed, taking his arm in yours, “Forever the flirt arent you, Jimmy?”

“I try darlin’.” He smiled down at you fondly. 

“You look beautiful by the way.” Jimmy said, the heat from your cheeks brightening up your face, “Never seen a skirt so short in Jupiter before, and I mean that in a good way. You look great.”

“Thank you, Jimmy.” You smiled, maybe the skirt had shrunken for good reason. If Jimmy liked it, then so did you, and you’d wear it confidently, “Trying something new. The skirt is supposed to be this short.” If you spoke it into existence then you’d feel better about the machine back home having shrunken it.

The night air was cool, a slight breeze delicately blowing at your hair, the flags that lined the Freakshow waving back and forth. The stars were beginning to dot the dark night sky and the moon was full and round. You and Jimmy walked silently for a while, both of you not really knowing what to say but embracing the company of one another. The only sounds were the slight ripples of the lake's water lapping at its banks, the faded out music of the Freakshow and the crunch of dried grass as you both walked across the grounds.

The rusted bonnet of a yellow car brought you to a holt as you excitedly ran forward.

“Oh my god!” You laughed childishly, immediately grazing your fingers over the exterior of the car. The paint was chipped and rusted, the leather seats worn and outdated, the glass screen dusty and covered with a few fallen leaves.

“Told ya it was still here.” Jimmy laughed, his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the bonnet, “It knocked out when we got here. Shame we couldn’t get it runnin’ again.”

“This is so cool, I didn’t think I’d ever see this again.” Your eyes flickered to Jimmy, his skin catching the light of the moon making him look as though he was glowing. Jimmy was staring at you too, wondering how a little moonlight could make someone look like an angel.

“I’ve missed it here.” You say fondly as you join Jimmy at the front of the car, looking over the Lake to the red and white tents, the fluorescent lights of the entrance making the place glow in warm hues.

Jimmy sighed, following your eyeline to the Freakshow, “You deserved better than this place.” 

You gave him a confused look, “I’m grateful for the life I have, don’t get me wrong, but not a day goes by when I don’t think of this place, these people. I miss you all.”

“A place like this isn’t a place for a woman like you, [Y/N],” Jimmy started, “You don’t wanna be my mama’s age and still livin’ this life. You had a chance to escape and you took it, and I’m glad you did.”

“You talk like you don’t have a chance to do the same.” 

“Not with my flippers I don’t.” Jimmy spoke glumly.

“Oh Jimmy,” You sighed placing your hand on his own, knowing of his anxieties but never fully being able to understand his struggles, “This world will be kinder one day, more accepting. There will always be people willing to bring you down to bring themselves up, you just gotta know in your heart you’re the better person. Not everyone is so cruel out there, so you can stop talkin’ like I’m above this place cause I don’t look like any of you. We are all people. All equal. The world will realise it soon enough.”

Jimmy listened to the words passionately pour out your mouth, “Plus, how can anyone resist a man as handsome as my Jimmy Darling.” You both laughed fondly and you playfully shoved him. The way in which your hand had rested on his own and the way you called him ‘yours’ made Jimmy’s heart beat a little faster than before.

You watched the way his lips opened slightly like words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't get them out, his dark eyes drank you in against the moonlight, the way his curls fell in front of his face. The air felt a lot hotter now.

He watched the way your smile graced your face, the way your skirt hugged your waist and exposed your thighs as you leaned against the car. Jimmy couldn’t help his embrace of you. He took your chin in his hand, your eyes meeting his.

“Jimmy,” You barely managed to whisper out his name as his lips met yours with a surprise. His lips were delicate and soft on your own, it was sweet and passionate, not rushed or desperate. Your body relaxed into the kiss as your hands came up to cup his face, your lips moving against his own as his hands wrapped protectively around your waist. 

You both smiled into the kiss, breaking away from each other for a moment, your foreheads pressed to one another, Jimmy’s arms still wrapped around you tightly.

“I’ve waited so long to do that.” Jimmy smiled down at you, scanning your face with a look of pure adoration causing fireworks to go off in your chest.

“You should have done it sooner.” You replied, kissing him again with a laugh, awkward teenage memories floating back through both your heads, neither of you confident enough to act on your feelings back then. 

You were still leaning against the car bonnet, now making out deeply like you’d wished you had done years before. Jimmy had you trapped between the car and his body, kissing his way from your neck to your collar bones. You let out little breathy moans as his lips sucked against the tender parts of your skin, his hands teasingly grazing across your exposed legs.

Every so often he would look at you and check you were okay. He kissed your lips, sucking slightly at your lower lip earning him another moan that slipped from your mouth.

“Careful, you want everyone to hear?” He smirked as he moved to grab at your behind, lifting you slightly so you sat on the bonnet of the car your legs at either side of his waist as he continued peppering sweet kisses on your revealed skin. 

“You have no idea how crazy you make me darlin’, when I saw you in this tiny skirt I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” Jimmy confessed. You could feel his growing anticipating rubbing against your clothed heat. You could feel yourself becoming more and more excited, your heart was pounding out your chest and your legs began shaking in anticipation.

Jimmy slowly moved his hand up your thigh, rubbing his fingers delicately over your clothed wet pussy. “Please don't tease me, Jimmy.” You said, lust clouding your eyes as you practically begged for more friction between the two of you. 

“I’ll do anything you ask baby.” Jimmy giggled at your impatience, lowering himself between your thighs as you lay back, letting the bonnet of the yellow car take your whole weight. 

Jimmy could barely contain his excitement at finally getting to stick his head between your legs, he eyed up your lacey underwear, using both hands to delicately pull them from you. 

He was an experienced man who knew his way around a woman’s body, and whether the women of Jupiter wanted to admit it or not, Jimmy was a catch in bed. You looked down at him, peppering your thighs in kisses, yanking your skirt up higher so you could watch him as he began to eat you out.

He licked at your clit and you immediately let out a moan. He used his tongue expertly on you, going slow, then quickening his pace, flattening his tongue and sucking delicately on your most sensitive area. Your hands found their way into Jimmy’s curled locks. His dark eyes drank in the sight of you, breathing heavy, eyes shut in bliss all at his doing. 

He teased your wet entrance with his long fingers, pushing them in a little and then removing them all too quickly. He knew just how to build the pace but you were becoming impatient. You wanted him, all of him, and he could tell.

He stood straight from his position, grabbing at your thighs and pulling your body closer towards him, his clothed cock rubbing at his jeans. He leaned forward helping him fumble with his belt. He gave you another kiss, this time the desperation written on his face, letting his jeans and boxers drop to the floor.

It wasn’t long before he’d delved his large member into you, the moans that fell from both your mouths loud at the feeling of your tight walls wrapped around his cock. His hips moved slowly but deeply against your own, the feel of his throbbing cock pulling out you and slipping back in sent your mind into overdrive. 

Jimmy soon picked up the pace, somewhat desperate for his own pleasure to be fulfilled. He moaned your name, the sounds of profanities spilling from his lips and the skin slapping against skin drowning out any of the other noise the surrounding nature could conjure. One hand held Jimmy’s shoulder whilst the other you used to stimulate yourself, his cock driving in and out of you deeply, both of you sweating, chasing the familiar euphoric feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Jimmy moaned, watching as you took your bottom lip in your teeth, eyes heavy and dark as you watched him fuck you, “You look so hot.” 

Your breathy moans become louder, your hand desperately moving against your clit as Jimmy continued to fuck you into the bonnet, “I’m so close.”

Jimmy took this as an opportunity to rip the buttons off the front of your shirt, latching his mouth onto your exposed nipple, grabbing your thighs and fucking you as hard as he could. The cool metal of the car rubbing against your backside harshly as the tight coil in the pit of your stomach released and you came all over his cock. 

The feeling of your walls convulsing against him, the wetness dripping all over his cock, the sounds of his name falling from your mouth, the sight of you coming undone beneath him sent Jimmy into his own orgasm. He groaned, moaning out your name, his thumbs digging into your hips as he came inside you. He collapsed on top of you, both of you a sweaty heavy breathing mess.

You started to laugh.

“What?” Jimmy asked breathlessly, a smile so big on his face his dimples looked like craters, “What are you laughing at?”

“I can’t believe we just had sex on Elsa’s car.”

Jimmy laughed along with you. 

“We can try doing it somewhere else next time then.” Jimmy gave you a cocky smirk, his eyebrow cocked as he slipping his jeans back on and helped you off the bonnet.

“You wish.” You replied playfully.

“I certainly do.”

A/N: Decided to lay the whole skirt thing out in a way that made sense for the time-period as short skirts weren't a fashionable choice until the mid 60′s if my research is correct! 

[scientifichubris]

What are some of your favorite bands? Maybe a good 10 or 15 if you need a number, or maybe some song recommendations? I need some stuff to get into and my taste's been pretty flat for a while and I'm looking for some better stuff! Thank you!!

OKAY AWESOME- I will not rank them bc my brain doesn’t do that. I jump every like 15 mins on what my favorite is SO HERES A NICE LIST OF BANDS WITH SOME SONGS!!! Links as well to youtube/SC bc I love u and want to make it easier afdsgfd I’m listing bands that are “easier” to listen to ig because I don’t know your entire taste. I will, however, pull you into my side of screaming through conditioning and have listed a few to see if you’re chill with it. Bolded is the TLDR version with links if you need it and I speak way too much!

1. The Faint Endless, while currently only on soundcloud, they are coming to spotify soon!! My favorite song of theirs is Celestial Revenge, which happens to have a music video!! I also like We Were Once Invincible and Requiem but G*D I LOVE ALL OF THEM They are… such a fucking inspiration to me and the music I want to make in the future. I try to make everyone listen to them so tbh if you wanna know me listen to them they fuck

(The rest of these you can find on spotify btw)

2. I am going to assume if you follow me you listen to My Chemical Romance, BUT if you don’t here’s some song recs that have different feels they will give you: House of Wolves, Vampire Money, You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison, Demolition Lovers, and Boy Divison but this list could go on for hours…. There’s so much to list and I couldn’t stop…..It’s for you to find and for you to feel.

3. The Used is super high up on my list! Shame they’re not as popular on here like MCR, like y’all missed 2004 (me too I wasn’t even split then but shhhhhhhhhh i know my history). Really depends on the mood you’re in because they’re either bangers or Sucidical Moments tbh so fair warning. Really got into them when life was super shitty, but they have a lot that aren’t always imma kms. If you’re up for loud shit there is The Back of Your Mouth which I’ve been blasting for a week. Choke Me is good if you wanna hear someone scream “fuck my ass” over and over while you feel dead inside lmao. If you want something more themed for this blog there’s Wake The Dead, although I feel like the mid part ruins it tbh. I want to cover it so I can make it go hard the entire time. I’d recommend the full album Lies For The Liers to get started.

4. If you like Vocaloid and want it in English and like horror then check out GHOST, or Ghost and Pals on spotify. Some of my favorites are Those Who Carried On, Honey I’m Home, and Entomologists, but there’s so much more that is amazingly themed.

5. Red Vox is also really good, but I’d recommend staying away from their album Vomit in the Ballpit because it’s just gross-out humor and I’m not into that. For my oc Franklin I think his voice would sound like Vin’s. They’re releasing a new album soon which I’m excited for, and they released one song early which is Why Can’t This Be Easy. Other songs I really enjoy are: Kerosene (I recommend the album of that same name too def one I use to calm down some nights), Memories Lie, Hazy, and Stranded (if you’re down for a 9 min space themed/star trek downer). I really enjoy their music and it’s another inspiration to me even if the music is a lot more chill. Their music has really calmed me down some nights and I’m thankful.

6. Will Wood and the Tapeworms is good if you just wanna go “oh my god I’m so mentally ill. I am going to break something. Fuck, I can’t remember 2012” Maybe that’s just me though- Anyways, Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! is a banger and good for this blog, and the mv is a mess so its perfect, and absolutely what my mind looks like. Also Dr. Sunshine Is Dead is for this blog. Actually the entire album. Honestly, just listen to the entire album Self-Ish. It’s not great if you’re feeling bad bc its gunna have you screamin’ “I WANT MY MURDER TO LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE” but it’s so good, dude. I’m obsessed. You gotta listen to it in order to get the full effect. Highly recommended if you’re okay enough to do it.

7. Mother Mother, aka mentally ill central, babie. They are an experience. Vauagely horny, drugged up and craving death or something worse? It’s all there! Calm Me Down is blatantly horny, but a jam and an experience, which I recommend the entire album it came off of as a starting place. The Cry Forum is really good, but I always forget the ending has a poem in german. Back To Life is amazing too and I really vibe with it. 

8. Bayside is another really good band and amazing and cheaper fuck you Ticketmaster to see live. Some dick groped me in the pit and a punk punched the shit out of him and protected me the rest of the night and made sure my short ass could still see. The girl I went with got a drum stick handed to her. They’re amazing. Feeling shitty, ex-relationship problems and some Christian guilt mixed in! I highly recommend their latest album, Interrobang. Numb and Prayers are good on that. I feel like I have to recommend Sick Sick Sick and Devotion and Desiresince I’m pretty sure it’s their biggest songs. 

9. The Vincent Black Shadow! I don’t even know how I found them tbh. Stupid Intruders is something I blast a lot. Metro is relatable, unfortunately. The House of Tasteful Men is very 👌 I die. They need more recognition….. 

10. Halestorm! Female led metalish rock is very good. Very Vent-y songs for me, but very good and sexy. I Miss The Misery is very popular for good reason/  You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing, Freak Like Me and  Killing Ourselves To Live are definitely my favorites. Also a big inspo to me as someone with a feminine voice/presenting that wants to sing! 

I’m kinda foggy right now so ten is my max! Hope you enjoy

[first-potato-in-spaace]

I got called transphobic today. Now this is kinda funny considering I am myself trans, but anyway I needed to have a bit of a rant about this and how annoying this is when people throw this word around.

So im a waiter at this shitty restaurant and this is my first job so I do make mistakes and im still learning. It was a sunday lunch time shift and with sundays being are busiest day you would expect their to be quite a few staff members on... yeah nope we had three people on (or outfront). One on bar and 2 on floor (for anyone who doesn't know what this means its basically 1 person stays on the bar serving drinks and making them for tables in the restaurant area and the people on the floor tske orders and shit). Just to put it into perspective a usual pub/restaurant would have 7 members of staff on, we had three. So life wasn't going great already.

I was put onto the floor and because most of are bookings were in the 1pm to 1:30pm time frame it became very difficult to make sure everyone had excellent service but I did try my best.

So the person I was on the floor with smokes which is fine up until your taking smoke brakes every 10 minuets for half and hour. When my coworker was on his smoke break this booking of two came in they ordered starters and mains which is fine but means i will have to keep a eye ok them to make sure when they are done and so.

Time skip untill they have their mains, now just to say again it was very busy and my coworker was still on his smoke break meaning that I - a new waiter with no training is running the floor by myself so not everyone is gunna get fantastic service.

About 20 minutes go by I finally get a minute just to have a drink and the table of two comes up to pay and when they do pay you have to ask the question "how was eveything?" In which the woman replied it was great apart from we wanted to have coffes but we ran out of time because you didnt clear are plates. I apologised and stated that its been very busy, they walked out and I though that was that.

But I was wrong, because my coworker informed me the next day that we had got a trip adviser stating that the waiter was transphobic (i pass yay jjkjkjdjdjd). Now for a second I was like wow thats weird I wonder what coworker upset them, then I relised I knew exactly who that was becuase the person that wwe with the woman was apparently trans. If im honest I did assume that they where a drag queen of liked to dress feminine which is wrong of me so I do apologise but like you not having your plates cleared is not transphobic its bad service do not get it mixed. I didn't choose to not clear your plates I honeslty forgot as I was incredibly busy.

Anyways tyat was that im writing this at 4am so sorry if any spelling or grammer mistakes, Ill fix it in the morning

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[dragon-babe]

howdy nyall im gunna talk abt gender/sexuality stuff for a second 

to preface, this is mostly just a stream of consciousness rambling to maybe figure some stuff out. ok to interact or not i guess???

anyway for a while ive felt pretty comfortable with labeling myself as Genderfluid pansexual, and still mostly it fits i think? but like, A. my definition of what genderfluidity means to me has changed! and B. as ive gotten older and had more experiences i feel like my sexuality is...less broad than what pansexuality covers 

so what does this mean? for starters my previous experience with genderfluidity was sometimes felt female, sometimes felt male, sometimes felt nonbianry. and that was all well and good and simple but more and more i dont feel attachment to gender whatsoever? The closest thing i can approximate it to is being agender, but that doesnt feel quite right either. and it doesnt help that i dont like any pronouns! She/her is what everyone uses bc of how i present. and thats fine i guess. but when someone uses he/him or they/them i get this little giddy feeling! like yes! you recognize my detachment from the pronoun! and yet i personally dislike they/them for reasons i cant really articulate. and i dont think ill ever use neopronouns, not that there’s anything wrong with them they just dont suit me. oh well

now the real meat and potatoes of this post is sexuality! And ill be blunt, ive recently wondered if i’m asexual. The definition of asexuality is so...vague. ‘dont experience sexual attraction” but what does that mean? what is sexual attraction? The desire to have sex with a particular person? I used to think i was a fairly sexual person but the idea of “oh i wanna fuck that guy” is never in my thoughts! Ive had sex before a couple times, and yet the possibility of me having sex with someone sends me into a panic attack! Why is that? Why is it that when i visited a friend i had the thought “oh god we might have sex” and then the entire day i was constantly shaking and didnt want to get anywhere near them? Why did i agree to hang out with a guy quite willingly, and then after he sent a dick pic did i have anxiety all day and canceled immediately? Now in all these cases they were dudes, is that what the problem was? Or was it the sex itself? Dunno! 

Is there a term for “i dont care what your gender identity is, im attracted to you.... just s long as you’re not a cis straight male”? because im that. I’ve learned im really attracted to feminine people almost exclusively, theres nothing appealing about masculinity to me. which would be fine except for two things! Butch women dont really do anything for me (a real shame) :(  because i know im missing out there. but what i feel is worse is that ill be attracted to someone who appears feminine but they’re transmasc, or nonbianry or someone who dislikes appearing feminine. and that fucking succcks. because i feel like im invalidating them, not seeing them for how they want to be seen/how they really are. and like thats all i want people to do for me, why cant i naturally do that for others????

ugh this post is too long already. in summary, uhhhh am i Agender panromantic asexual now? Fuckin mouthful 

[gamecubehoshi]

@ask-bluejack​  The real Cishet discourse we all needed.

I’d say there are plenty canon hetero characters, people just chose to ignore that for the sake of gay ships. Sakura literally mentions having a boyfriend while Aoi worries if she’s feminine enough for a man in her FTEs. Celeste’s dream was a castle full hot vampire man candy. Kaz was lusting at every fanservice moment with girls in it, etc. Yet all the popular ships with them in the Fandom are gay. Not bashing but just saying.

I say that purely because being attracted to a guy doesn’t mean you’re into guys? It’s a lot to do with how people are raised really, because it’s ‘social norm’ to be into the opposite sex. Aoi being worried about being feminine is a cultural thing in Japan because femininity for girls is super important there. Sakura and Hoshi are the only two to officially have actually been with someone of the opposite sex that’s straight up canon. I just say Hoshi is more ‘canon hetero’ than Sakura purely just because he was going to get married to this girl and he feels more upset he wasn’t there for her than his entire family dying. I’m not joking when I say that either he is literally more upset he wasn’t there for his fiancee then his family being slaughtered how’s that for dedication to your significant other- Yeah people can imagine Leon getting with that hairdresser he talks about and people can imagine Celestia thinking about dreamy vampire butlers for hours on end, but I’d argue it’s different to actually be in a relationship than to imagine yourself in one. And a quick fling or a one night stand is also different than a long lasting relationship. Not that quick flings are bad or anything, but wanting to have sex with someone is different than wanting a romantic relationship with a person, if that makes sense. Hell, even Kaito and Maki aren’t as directly canon as one might think because Kaito just doesn’t even confirm if he has feelings for her or not. He says that it’s good she can feel that way to him and that she’s gunna have to accept that he’d be dead either of illness or execution real soon there and to try not to cry about it, but he never says anything like “i love you too Harumaki” or anything that says “i feel the same way that you do to me”. 

And there’s nothin wrong with gay ships bein popular! Hell, it’s great we can have so much in this community. But a lot of people tend to forget that characters can be bi or pan or even aro. Celes can be bi! So can Leon! Hell, both of them can be just gay that believe they’re straight due to social expectations placed on them in modern society, which would actually explain why Leon is unable to really settle down w/ a girl (unless of course he’s just someone that doesn’t do well in long term relationships). Just because Sakura’s had a boyfriend doesn’t mean she can’t have a great girlfriend, and just because Ryoma’s had a girlfriend soon-to-be-wife doesn’t mean he can’t have a boyfriend either. Hell I see Ryoma as bi, but i still acknowledge that he has had a girlfriend.

And you see it’s funny you say that, because a lot of people must play the ignorant card or just don’t look at Sakura’s or Ryoma’s FTE’s, because a lot of people just call em gay when they would actually be biromantic at least! If we can call out people for making Kokichi straight when he’s canonically shown being into men, then shouldn’t we make the same argument that saying Sakura and Hoshi are gay is wrong when they have canonically been with the opposite sex? If someone wants to interject with “oh but that’s different because there are so many straight people as is” then isn’t that a double standard? Shouldn’t everyone be treated with respect despite their sexual orientation? If we can respect fictional characters having LGBT orientations then can’t we extend that same respect towards hetero fictional characters? It’s stuff like this that makes ya think. 

I thank you for takin your time to reply to this, because it’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while, and I appreciate that you were really polite. I hope you have a great day! ^q^