#like if you're someone who's interested in buying my art or old clothing or etc.. would having it be an ebay auction like...

[messengerhermes]

Not that anyone needs a stranger's asshole opinion on the internet, but--

But.

I would argue that after a certain period of knowing you closely, say a year to six months, a person should start to get an idea of your tastes in terms of food, clothing, accessories, media.

I've known a lot of people who have continuously gotten me gifts of things that weren't my style, or were even explicitly stuff they wanted to see me in, then they've been upset if I don't wear or use the gift.

For example:

Jan doesn't really love stuffed animals. They think they're cute, but other than a childhood stuffy, they've given away the majority of their old stuffed toys and haven't gotten any new ones. Mark, whose been over to Jan's apartment many times, has noted this, and heard Jan explain they don't really have an interest in plushies when Mark asked, but buys Jan a plush from their favorite movie anyway. Jan appreciates the gift and thanks Mark, but doesn't know what to do with the toy other than keep it on their bed. Mark buys Jan another plush on the next gift giving occasion. When Jan is hesitant upon receiving the gift, Mark asks what's wrong and becomes upset when Jan gently points out they don't like stuffed animals. Mark insists it's from Jan's favorite thing, which Jan agrees, but explains they don't really use plushies but do like stickers or fan art from their favorite things. Mark calls Jan impossible to shop for and Jan feels pressure to apologize and make amends, lest they seem ungrateful for their gift.

A gift freely given does not obligate the receiver to liking it. That doesn't mean they get to be cruel or rude in their reception (ie tell you how much they hate the thing, yell at you for buying it, etc) but it does mean they can appreciate the gesture without really enjoying the gift and that doesn't make them terrible.

If that's an issue you keep having in trying to gift things to someone, talk to them. Maybe you're misunderstanding their tastes and preferences. Maybe there's sensory issues you aren't aware of.

There is nothing wrong with talking to someone about what they actually like.

[icewindandboringhorror]

hmmbb.... since one of the primary reasons I endlessly procrastinate selling sculptures and clothes I make (or old clothing, like mori kei stuff I dont use anymore or etc) and etc. is like... Setting Prices Is Hard.. then maybe I could just... start an ebay or something?? If I set everything as an auction or whatever that people bid on, then I’d just have to calculate a low base price that will cover cost of materials/shipping/etc. but if people want to pay more or something then that’s fine too, and I don’t really have to worry about evaluating value or how much extra I should charge for something (’oh this shirt is cool/this sculpture took me a while/etc., maybe I should make it more expensive!! but then... i dont know... hmm.”).. It would take the burden of pricing and value estimation off of me, all I have to do is set a reasonable base price and then the people who want it get to decide whatever they feel it’s worth by how much they feel like bidding on it..

Would that be weird though?? I intentionally avoid bidding on things and I only ever buy stuff with a set price because I feel like it’s stressful to keep up with lmao, I wouldn’t want to make it harder on people who want to buy my art or something...??? Like does it sound like a really bad idea to leave the pricing of sculptures and stuff up to bidding? How much do you think that would dissuade people from attempting to buy things? I know not everyone loathes bidding and stuff the way I do so it may not be as much of a problem to others as it is to me, maybe I’m over-estimating lmao.. thus I thought I would mayhapps, ask the opinion of the General Publique