#like imma respect whatever he chooses and support him regardless

[slythereen]

Genuinely don't get why people want Charles to abandon Ferrari bc like yeah the strategies rn are shit and they need to get their shit together but Charles loves Ferrari, he's passionate and dedicated to the team. Success takes hard work (from everyone on the team) and time and it would be disappointing to see him abandon his dreams just BC there's no huge success right now. Give them time, and besides not everything is just about awards. Idk just my view tho kfjfjsjfke 😭

tbh i go back and forth on this so much. it may be a product of me not being a long time tifosi and feeling significantly more loyalty to charles than ferrari (& lowkey being as much a fan of rbr in terms of brand and vibes, probably), so i don’t feel as strongly about ride or die ferrari…

mostly for me it’s just that ferrari doesn’t seem prepared to back charles completely. i can understand having a shoddy car and struggling with a bad season (or two), even if it’s a bit embarrassing such a big team can’t show some operational competence. but i can’t understand deliberately developing the car away from charles or the frankly baffling strategy calls that charles suffers or how his car is always having problems or how ferrari never seems to fight penalties or how they ignore his accomplishment and contributions on social media

like. i could keep going. i think ferrari’s problems are more than just incompetence and i worry that not having the right attitude/philosophy about it as a team means they won’t become more competent or ever deserve charles. rbr might be cut throat, but at least they fight for their drivers and at least the car would actually suit charles’s driving style. frankly if ferrari is going to treat him like a number two driver to carlos, i think he may as well roll the dice with rbr and his preferences aligning more with max’s

that being said: it really is charles’s dream and means so so much to him, and the times i love ferrari the most are when i see how the tifosi (and to some degree the mechanics) rally around him and adore him and make him so happy. so. you know. it’s 50-50 for me on any given weekend

[megape]

Adventures with Abba #1

So, I contemplated on whether or not to put this on my blog considering it’s particularly spiritual and my blog sort of wandered away from that. But, with further thought, I’ve settled on the fact that this blog brings me joy and henceforth I’m going to post it here.

I realize this blog sort of veered away from just spirituality and sexuality, but Adventures with Abba will become a new way for me to reconnect. I feel like it’ll be a good way to document what goes on and the conversations I have with the Trinity. I’m also going to point out that my views are far from what majority believes. That being said, if you don’t like something I’ve said or want to question me: feel free to, but with respect for the fact that everyone has their own beliefs and relationship with Christ. I don’t expect this new series of blog posts to be anything but a fun read for others to see what goes on in my head with the Trinity. 

After a bit of consultation with my trusty-idea-thrower of a mother, I bring you, Adventures with Abba.

(6/27/18) It been a long day, even longer night, but by the time I hit my head to the pillow I knew what could cheer me up. My...

It’s probably necessary for me to point out that up until this point in time I had only ever really dabbled in imaginary friends when I needed them most. Maybe that’s a lie... being an only child I always had someone with me by my side that was imaginary. For the longest time as a child I was obsessed with a movie that I shall not name for the sake of my reputation. ;P Regardless, the main male lead in this was who I had accompany me everywhere during my childhood. We went to the pool together, played in my room, and had conversations and very large plots to our imaginary situations I’d put us in. 

For the most crucial times I’d imagine Abba with me. For those of you that don’t know, I call God, Abba. These vivid daydreams and real-life situations with Abba only typically happened when I needed him for emotional support. Sometimes I’d ride in the car and have him sitting next to me in the passenger seat and other times we’d cuddle in bed. Like I’ve said in the past, I thoroughly believe They’re with us in all situations. They may reside in another plane of existence (a different dimension?), but that doesn’t mean that They weren’t truly there singing to songs with me in my car. I believe not only does faith come in believing They exist, but believing that they truly do spend life with us every waking second of every day. They love us, cherish us, and made us for the very purpose to have relationship. So with that being said, I’ve always used my imagination to make having faith easier. If I can imagine Abba cuddling me in bed it helps me believe They truly are there.

For the sake of the stories I’ll tell I need to be clear with you all who is called what in my head, their pronouns, and their relationship with me.

Abba/Imma: This is God. They appear as Abba or Imma depending on whether I need a father figure or mother figure in the daydream. Most of the time I refer to them with the respective pronouns of They/Them and I’ll be sure to capitalize it when I do. 

Jesus: My love! Yes, Jesus is simple. He is my love, my friend, my sibling, my significant other, my husband, caregiver, whatever human male role I need in that moment. Most of the time he appears as either a best friend or boyfriend. Lately it’s been a significant other because he offers the love languages I need fulfilled at the time.

HS: My homie. I call the Holy Spirit “H.S.” She’ll always have female pronouns. She comes and goes as either a best friend or anything else I may need. Lately She has been in the form of a mental health dog: a pug. She’s always very quirky, playful, and tends to me emotionally.

I hope that makes sense. To the story!

It all started... when I was craving mangos. Yes, mangos. It was the comfort food of choice that night. But alas, it was 2:30 in the morning so I couldn’t go get mangos. (I got them the next day(; ) We all proceeded into what I’m assuming was a mixture of my local Kroger and Target. We headed straight for the fruit and vegetable section to our right and HS couldn’t hardly wait but to start darting in and out of the aisles. I went with Jesus down the first aisle, looking at the rows of fruit and looking over to see Abba trying some form of sample from the deli. My eyes settled on some apples, making me think on the Garden of Eden.

“Why didn’t you intercede when you saw Eve going for the fruit?” I’d say without much thought to who it was directed towards.

“Because Eve had to make her own choice.” Jesus would say, standing beside me and holding my hand.

“But you could have said something and then all of this would have been different.” I’d look down, genuinely confused why we all had been put in a position that Eve had destined for us.

“I did say something, before the situation had even begun. She had the entire garden to choose from.” 

“I suppose so.” The conversation ended as soon as it had begun, not from a lack of interest but my mind was still focused on the mangoes. “Where are they?”

HS would bark up at Jesus and I, scrambling over and leading us to another aisle of fruit. I put four mangos in a bag and asked them if we should get anything else. I got my answer with a shake of heads.

“We could go somewhere to eat them; where do you want to go?” Abba would speak up. “If we’re going to have a picnic let’s go get a blanket.”

As we started off towards wherever the home goods were I tried figuring out where we could go. “We could go to my safe place: the meadow on the mountain, remember?” It was exactly as it sounded. The area was at the top of a mountain surrounded my trees and green bushes.  The grass was always high there since no one kept those areas maintained and the sun would sparkle along the ground making shadows of the trees dance. It was my favorite spot and sometimes I’d even swing on the tree that rested in the middle of it. It was a big weeping willow with a large wooden swing attached to it. 

HS darted in front of us, clearly knowing the way of the land here at my fantasy Kroget. She yipped and sped along the slippery tiled floor with her paws and we found the blankets. 

I stood there and tossed a white sheet to Abba who caught it and put it in his red shopping basket. 

“Go ahead and pick you out a blanket yourself. I know you love blankets.” Jesus would wink and motion for me to pick at the shelves of blankets. 

I gazed all around the shelf and ultimately came to the conclusion they were all those really expensive but cheap thin blankets that were more for decoration. “These are all really crappy. I don’t want you spending more money on me. You’re already buying the mangos and sheet...”

Jesus would put his hand on my shoulder, “If this is your imagination, I’m sure you can come up with a blanket that you want. Besides, if I can turn water into wine surely I can turn some cheap gum into money to buy this with. Worry less, little one.”

“I can’t help but worry.” I’d stare at the shelf trying to figure out what blanket I’d want. “I want a silky red microfiber blanket that’s also weighted so when I have it draped over me it feels like I’m being hugged.” And just like that the blanket was on the shelf.

Jesus would take the blanket and wrap it around me as a hooded cape. He took my hand once again and looked at the rest of the party, “Do we need anything else?”

I’d shrug and Abba would lead the way back to the front. We’d stand in line with HS obviously standing in front of us now, sniffing at the candies on the checkout counters. 

“Watch this.” Jesus joked after our items were rung up. He’d wave his wrist across the credit card machine and it’d beep in satisfaction. 

“Wow, does he have a chip or something implanted? Technology!” I’d joke inside my head.

Jesus would take my hand and grab the two bags that contained our fruit and blankets. HS would be running towards the car, “I call shotgun!” She’d say as her pug form quickly transcended to that of a playful-looking girl. 

“I don’t want to drive. I always drive in these first person imaginations~” I’d whine. “Abba, you drive. I know I’ll fall asleep before we get there anyway.”

Abba smiled, settling in the front while I rested my head on Jesus in the back. HS swung her head around and looked at the both of us, grinning, “I get to be the DJ!” She’d already be holding a phone in her hand to shuffle the music around.

I’d smile, laughing lightly at her and wrap arm around Jesus’s while our hands were still connected. I’d close my eyes as we drove off, the sound of the wind hitting the car and our plastic shopping bags rustling beside me. That’s the last I remember of my first Adventure with Abba.