#like not a LOT later and repeat freeze/thaw is bad for almost everything but

[mixelation]

over a year ago i went down a rabbit hole of the DNA as data storage movement and to this day i STILL don't get what the end goal was. where are you storing the dna once you put data in it. a freezer farm? but several paper talked about the utility of not needing electricity in case of disaster. are we burying it in tundra? putting it in an organism and hoping it doesn't get corrupted???

[bthenoise]

Quaran-Dine & Chill: Here are 12 Homemade Food Recipes From Some Of Your Favorite Bands

Look, we get it: You’re bored. You’re stuck at home with nothing to do and to top it all off you’re absolutely starving with no idea what to make except for a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. 

Thankfully, we knew this would happen so we reached out to some amazing artists to see if they had any recipes to help us all get through this never-ending period of social distancing. 

Submitting for a feature we like to call “Quaran-Dine & Chill,” bands like Mayday Parade, The Used, August Burns Red, Atreyu, Periphery, New Found Glory and more have all pitched in some of their most favorite recipes to make from home. 

To check out how to create Groovy Toast, cook some of Herbie’s Homemade Chicken Taquitos or even put together some Veggie Pasta with Vegan Ass White Sauce, be sure to look below. Afterward, remember, before making anything to eat, WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!

Oh, and there’s also a special 35-song Quaran-Dine & Chill playlist at the end of all this. Listen to it as loud as you possibly can -- we hear it helps the food taste better. 

Enjoy! 

JAKE BUNDRICK - MAYDAY PARADE

JAKE’S OVERNIGHT OATS

Ingredients 1/2 cup oatmeal (any type will work but I personally like Old Fashioned or Rolled Oats) 1 cup water 1 scoop protein powder (It's not necessary by any means but I prefer French Vanilla from TrueNutrition) 3/4 cup of either frozen berries or fresh berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, black berries... you can either add this now to soak overnight or wait until you're ready to eat and then add berries. It's up to you) 1 banana sliced 1 tablespoon of natural peanut butter

Instructions Mix oatmeal, water, protein and frozen berries together in a bowl or jar (frozen berries are optional). You could forego this and choose to add fresh berries later.

Cover and let sit in the fridge overnight or for a few hours -- your choice.

After soaking, add fresh berries if you haven't already. Then add bananas and peanut butter.

Enjoy.

MATT HALPERN - PERIPHERY

REALLY HEALTHY “CEREAL”

I love cereal but I don't want all the bad stuff associated with most cereals. So I came up with a healthy alternative. It's pretty simple.

Grab a bowl

Add Trader Joe's Go Raw Trek Mix

Slice up some strawberries and add them too

Throw on a couple blueberries

Add 1% milk

And there ya have it! Really hearty, really healthy, easy to make “cereal” that actually fills you up!

MATT GREINER - AUGUST BURNS RED

DEER CAMP BREAKFAST CASSEROLE 

Ingredients 18 eggs 2 cups of milk 1 cup cheddar cheese 1 lb bacon 1 lb loose sausage 1 ts salt 1 tb pepper 1 pack hash browns

Instructions Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

Brown sausage and bacon separately-drain

Pan fry hash browns until golden brown

Grease a 13” x 9” baking pan and line the bottom with hash browns

Add a layer of bacon

Add a layer of sausage

Whip the eggs in a large bowl, then add the mix, salt and pepper, mix well

Add the cheese to the eggs and mix again

Pour the egg mixture over the meat and hash browns

Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 25-30 minutes 

Remove foil and bake until the top of the casserole begins to brown. Then remove from the oven.

BRENT WALSH - I THE MIGHTY

B-LEE'S BREAKFAST FEAST

Ingredients Hash browns 2 eggs Onions Garlic Mushrooms Peppers Cheddar cheese Black pepper Salt Ketchup Valentina (black label, extra hot) hot sauce Olive oil

Instructions First, get the hash browns going in a frying pan with lots of oil. They take the longest. 

In a second pan, get all the veggies going adding garlic when everything else is almost done so that you don't burn the garlic.

When the hash browns are done, plate them and immediately add the cheese to taste. 

The veggies should be about done by this time so add those on top. 

Fry the eggs (I like mine over medium) in the original pan you cooked the hash browns in and add salt and pepper while they cook. 

I like to top it all off with some black label Valentina hot sauce and a little ketchup. 

Add a coffee and mimosa on the side and boom, you got yourself a good ol' quarantine breakfast feast.

MARK HOLCOMB - PERIPHERY

SRIRACHA TUNA SALAD

Take two cans of tuna, break it up in a mixing bowl, toss with two tablespoons of celery, half an onion and some chopped fresh parsley.

Add 1/3 cup of mayonnaise (or veganaise if you’re a tree-hugging hippy like me), 1 tablespoon mustard, and several tablespoons of Sriracha depending on how spicy you want it.

Top off with some ground pepper and lemon juice, to taste.

Also feel free to add half a diced apple if you like some sweetness and crunchy texture in there.

Delicious, healthy and super simple.

JEPHA - THE USED

GROOVY TOAST

Soak a cup of any kind of nut (almond, cashew etc..) overnight in water.

Next day, strain most of the water except for a little bit to help blend it.

Put soaked nuts in blender with a dash of lemon, a pinch of salt, pepper, two tablespoons of olive oil.

Blend until smooth.

Optional fun: slice something spicy like a jalapeño.

Add “Groovy cheese” to either toast or crackers.

Drizzle olive oil and lemon on top of “Groovy Toast” with a spicy, spicy jalapeño and let your mouth party like your stuck at home for the next month or so 🤙

CYRUS BOLOOKI - NEW FOUND GLORY

SHEPHERD’S PIE

Ingredients: Ground Beef (or turkey, or chicken, or any kind of meat for that matter) Onion, diced (optional) Frozen veggies (1 bag of pretty much anything you have, normally a carrot/corn/peas mix, but seriously, anything will do) Worcestershire Sauce (optional, but check the back of your cupboard because you probably have a bottle that’s been sitting there for years and is still good!) Potatoes (again, any kind of potatoes will do) Cheese (cheddar is the standard, but use what you have!)

Instructions: Cook your meat in a skillet, seasoning with salt and pepper and adding diced onion if you have while cooking.  

Cook/microwave your bag of frozen veggies and add directly into the meat and stir.

Now’s the time to find that Worcestershire sauce if you have it -- if not, don’t worry, this is awesome without it too!

Add a cup of cheese in there and also 1/2 cup of liquid (could be water, could be chicken/beef broth if you have). Stir to combine all ingredients and turn to low heat to keep warm.

Meanwhile, make mashed potatoes however you can (whether by hand or with a box) and when done layer these two things in an ovenproof dish — meat/veggie mix on bottom, mashed potatoes on top.

Toss cheese all over the top of that and throw it in the oven on medium heat for 20 minutes to melt the cheese.

Now, sit back, relax and enjoy your dish whether with family or all alone. It’s a full meal all in one, tastes even better the next day and you can even freeze it!

BRANDON SALLER - ATREYU

WINNER WINNER ISOLATION DINNER (Crispy Baked Chicken Thighs)

Ingredients Bone-in chicken thighs w/ skin Salt (coarse salt works best but any will work fine) Pepper Garlic powder Mixed herbs or Italian seasoning Desired veggie - Whatever you have (ie broccoli, green beans, asparagus, zucchini) Italian dressing (your favorite)

Instructions Preheat oven to 400º  

Pat dry chicken on both sides with a paper towel

Season both sides of chicken liberally. Especially the top. The key to this chicken is the well seasoned crispy skin.

Place on sheet pan and roast in oven for about 40 minutes. You are looking for the chicken to be cooked through and skin to be browned and crispy.

When chicken has about 20 minutes left, put marinated veggies on a sheet pan and roast until chicken is done.

When finished, let chicken rest for about 5 minutes as it just came out of a 40-minute fiery hell and will 100% burn your mouth.

ENJOY!

IRA GEORGE - MOVEMENTS

TACO SALAD

This is a very easy and fluid dish that you can make on your own with ease. Whether you are a vegetarian or vegan, you can make this fit your lifestyle.

Ingredients 1 bag of chopped romaine 1 can of black beans 1 frozen bag of white or brown rice 1 cup of frozen corn (thawed) Soyrizo (or any type of ground meat) 1/2 bell pepper 2 Roma tomatoes 1/3 yellow onion 1 avocado Cilantro 1 lime Taco sauce of your choice Cilantro dressing (or something comparable) Diced jalapeños Shredded Mexican cheese Handful of tortilla chips

Instructions Dice the bell pepper, yellow onion and Roma tomatoes

Chop a handful of cilantro

Thaw corn in microwave

In a small pot heat up the can of beans

Cook the soyrizo or other meat in a pan at the same time (if you are using meat you will need to season to your liking)

Heat rice in microwave (if using uncooked rice have it ready before everything)

Grab a big bowl and put rice down. Add the cilantro and lime and toss together

Now add everything else however you want. Remember this is a completely fluid meal, add or takeout any ingredient you feel. Get creative with it! DON’T FORGET TO ADD THE AVOCADO AND SAUCES!!

NICK VENTIMIGLIA - GRAYSCALE

HERBIE’S HOMEMADE CHICKEN TAQUITOS

Servings: 12 Calories: 241 Prep time: 20 min Cook time: 20 min Total time: 40 min

Ingredients 3oz cream cheese 1/4 cup salsa of your choice 1 tablespoon lime juice 1 1/2 teaspoon of taco seasoning 2 fresh cloves of garlic, minced 3 tablespoons cilantro or parsley 2 scallions diced 2 cups shredded cooked chicken or whatever protein you desire 1 cup Mexican blend cheese or whatever you want 12 6in flour tortillas Cooking spray Kosher salt

Instructions Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, mix together the cream cheese, salsa, lime juice, taco seasoning, garlic, cilantro, and scallions until well combined and creamy. Add in the cooked chicken and cheese; stir to thoroughly combine.

Working with a few tortillas at a time, heat them in the microwave between two paper towels until they are soft enough to roll (about 10 seconds).

Spoon 3 tablespoons of the chicken mixture onto the lower third of a tortilla. Roll the tortilla tightly.

Place the rolled tortilla seam side down on the baking sheet. Repeat with remaining tortillas until the mixture is gone, making sure the taquitos are not touching each other.

Spray the tops lightly with cooking spray and sprinkle with a little kosher salt (don’t skip the salt!)

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until crisp and golden.

Serve with salsa, sour cream, or guacamole.

BALSAC THE JAWS 'O DEATH - GWAR

I offered up my recipes for Feline Fricassee and Poodle Wellington but my publicist informed me that things hadn't yet gotten to the point where most people are ready to eat their pets. Instead, here is a recipe that you should be able to throw together without having to take that dreaded trip to the supermarket. 

Now more than ever, everyone should be able to hunt and kill their own food. So the first thing you will need to do is grab your favorite battleaxe, knife or shotgun and go in your backyard. Look for the happy yellow flowers that are probably taking over your poorly manicured lawn. Pick as many of these as you can find, making sure to pull them out from the roots keeping the long dark green leaves intact. You may be asking, “What do I need this shotgun for?” The weapon is in case your neighbor sees you and tries to shake hands!

DOOMSDAY DANDELIONS 

Ingredients Dandelion greens 1/2 cup olive oil 3 tablespoons vinegar (red wine vinegar or balsamic work best but whatever kind you can find in your cupboard. It is the apocalypse after all) 1 tablespoon mustard (Dijon if you've got it but who am I kidding, you only have that horrible yellow crap!) 2 cloves garlic minced Salt and pepper 2 teaspoons dry herb (use whatever you can find. What are you saving that stuff for?)

Instructions Pick the flowers off the dandelion greens (these are edible too, I suggest beer battering them and frying them, but that's another recipe and I'm not getting paid for this). 

Trim the hairy roots from the greens and discard. 

Wash all the dirt from the greens, cut them in half at the base keeping the leaves attached and soak in clean cold water. 

Wisk all other ingredients together until they are a cohesive solution. 

Drain and pat dry the greens and dress them with the vinaigrette. 

Enjoy by yourself!!

SCHUYLAR CROOM - HE IS LEGEND

VEGGIE PASTA WITH VEGAN ASS WHITE SAUCE

Ingredients 1 medium onion chopped 3 cloves of garlic Red bell pepper julienned Broccoli florets Mushrooms sliced thin Zucchini halved and sliced Yellow squash quartered and sliced 1 or 4 splashes of white wine

Finisher Sauce 1/4 cup of unsweetened oat milk 1 or 2 tbs coconut oil 1/4 cup vegan mayo A few handfuls of vegan cheese (I used a vegan pepper jack by Daiya and a bit of Follow Your Heart Parmesan) 1/3 cup of Nutritional yeast Fresh basil

Herbs and Spices Kosher Salt Fresh ground pepper Herbes de Provence Some other optional shit

Pasta Fettuccine noodles ( I like that Ancient Grain in the blue box.)

Instructions Boil salted water for your noodles and in a separate pot boil a few cups of water to blanche your broccoli. You’ll be mad if your water is not boiling before you start sautéing your veg... that shit goes quick, watched pots never boil.

In a large saucepan over med/high heat: Sauté onion for about 5 minutes until it is soft and almost translucent. Add chopped garlic until that smell wakes up your girlfriend. Boom you’re cooking. Salt and pepper that junk.

Add the peppers, mushrooms, zucchini and squash, hit it with some more salt and pepper. I like to throw in some Herbes de Provence and a TINY SPRINKLE of cayenne (a little goes a long way) plus some truffle salt because I’m fancy.

By now the lil pot should be boiling. Throw those broccoli guys in there and when they turn dark ass green drain them and throw them in the pot with the other veggies.

Shit’s all steamy now. It smells crazy good. Your girlfriend and your dog are in the kitchen salivating.

Hit those veggies with some white wine. I say a few dashes, but you’ll know. You’re gonna want to let that cook off for 3-5 minutes.

Maybe you’ve already put your noodles in. If so, they’re ready to drain. If not, get to it 9 minutes after the water starts boiling again (read the box)

Now your noodles are in the strainer. Make your partner divide that into bowls.

After the wine has cooked off, add the veganaise, coconut oil, vegan cheeses and the nutritional yeast and stir all of that up until melty and gooey and combined with the veggies. I like the throw in about half a cup of chopped sliced basil and leave a little for a garnish after you’ve topped your pasta with this creamy ass veggie goodness.

OH! Pro tip: Garlic bread. (Do this 40 minutes ago before starting anything else.)

Take 2 heads of garlic and peel most of the skin off but leave bulb intact.

Chop the very top of the head off the garlic to expose the clove (like 1/16 of the top).

Place it in tinfoil and close it up around the sides. Douse with a generous amount of olive oil and salt and pepper all over that opening on the bulb and close the foil up tight around the top. Create a little oven inside your oven.

Bake at 375 for 40 minutes. You’ll smell it.

Let it cool well.

Toast a loaf of French bread.

Those little garlic cloves will pop out like little teardrops of pure heaven. Smear that junk on your toasted bread and thank me later. The oil is now roasted garlic oil. You could drizzle that on the bread too or over the damn pasta that’s in the bowl.

(Be careful. You will want to skip the steps of letting the bulbs cool. They are unforgivingly hot and will burn your flesh.)

[sariasprincy-writes]

Hollow Point 20

One // Two // Three // Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight // Nine // Ten // Eleven // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen // Fifteen // Sixteen // Seventeen // Eighteen // Nineteen // Twenty (here) 

Chapter Twenty There is always a cost in the end

Sakura stayed in Israel another three days before heading back to New York. She tried to tell herself it was everything to do with the warm weather and checking in on her contacts, and nothing to do with her concerns over Kisame and Mossad. Or Itachi.

He had headed home the following day. She hadn’t heard from him since that night. Which was fine, she told herself for the umpteenth time.

Failing to bite back her sigh, Sakura darkened the screen of her phone and tucked it into her pocket. As soon as her plane completed its taxiing and came to a stop outside the terminal, she stood from her seat and collected her suitcase. Together, she and the rest of the passengers filed out of the narrow aircraft.

Following the familiar halls, Sakura swept through customs and down to the lower level where the taxis picked up passengers. She hadn’t called Kakashi for a ride, not really in the mood to talk. Things were becoming complicated.

Stopping on the sidewalk, Sakura glanced down the terminal for an available cab. She hadn’t even the chance to hail one before a familiar BMW pulled up to the curve in front of her. Tires nearly screeching as it came to a stop.

“Get in,” Tobirama told her through the open passenger window.

Shit. Things were about to become even more complicated.

There was no point in arguing. The look on his face told her he would drag her into the car if he had to.

Without a word, Sakura threw her bag in the backseat before she slipped into the sleek car. Tobirama took off before she had even fully closed her door.

They drove in silence for several minutes before Tobirama spoke, eyes straight ahead. “We have a problem.”

Sakura resisted her sigh, instead resting her chin on her fist as she peered out the window. “When it comes to you, there’s always a problem, Tobirama,” she muttered. “What is it this time?”

She felt his glare linger on her a moment before his eyes returned to the road. “Akatsuki is moving again. They raided one of Hashirama’s shipments coming in and burned down one of the ports we had further south. Over a dozen of our men got caught in the crossfire. We’re holding them off the best we can, but it won’t last.”

“And what do you want me to do?” Sakura asked, her voice tinted with something close to boredom.

Tobirama nearly slammed on the brakes at the next light. This time he was full on glaring at her. “We’re paying you for your help,” he told her sharply. “I expect that you’ll give it when we need. And that includes this.”

“Except you’re not paying me for my help,” she said simply. Factually. “You’re paying me for my guns. And as long as I continue to uphold my end of the bargain, you can’t have anything to complain about.”

When Tobirama didn’t reply, she peered at him. The only give away of his upset was the white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. Then that too relaxed. “If this is because of what happened that night in your apartment-”

“This has nothing to do with that,” Sakura interrupted. His chance to apologize for that had long since come and gone.

“Then what is it?”

Sakura didn’t answer. They were almost at her apartment. She waited until he stopped at the next red light before she reached for the door handle. “I’ll get your boys what they need.”

“Sakura-” he begun.

But she was already opening the door. Without a word, she collected her bag from the backseat before she made her way down the sidewalk. The light turned green, but Tobirama made no immediate move to go. Only once the car behind him blared his horn did she hear the harsh squeal of his tires as he sped away.

That sound rattled around her brain the rest of the walk home. Without bothering to turn on the lights, she dropped her bag near the front table before she left again.

For a while, Sakura wandered down the city streets, her jacket wrapped around her and her hands tucked into her pockets. Spring was beginning to thaw out the cold frost of winter, but the air still chilled her skin and twisted around her hair like death’s caress.

She slipped inside a restaurant just as the bartender flipped the ‘open’ sign on. Smiling at him, she ordered a shot of tequila before she wandered to the piano in the back. With no one but the staff to hear her play, she unleashed her thoughts, letting the music take hold of everything she wanted but yet couldn’t express.

The notes came from the deepest corners of her mind, soothing her stresses, her fears and all the anger that seemed to stem from everywhere. Tobirama, Tsunade, Hashirama. Even Itachi. The last of which surprised her, considering her latest visit with him had been…pleasant. Still, she orchestrated those notes until she scrubbed her soul clean.

Sakura was still sitting before the well-used instrument when Ino arrived some time later. The soundboard was closed, her shot glass half-full. Sakura sipped it slowly, her gaze a million miles away.

“Hey,” Ino said, sliding onto the wooden bench beside her.

Sakura blinked, turning her attention to her oldest friend as she slipped a pink wig off to expose her long, blonde hair underneath. “How did it go?” Sakura asked.

Ino smiled, grabbing Sakura’s shot from her and swallowing it back in one-go. She set the glass on the piano before she held up two fingers towards the bartender. “Good,” Ino said. “Madara’s man followed me all week. To the ports, to a few meet ups.” Then she smirked. “To the mall. And the nail salon. Three times.”

Sakura laughed, the sound bubbling out of her mouth without force. A burst of true amusement. “Let me see.”

Ino held up her hand, letting Sakura inspect her perfectly manicured nails. And they were perfect, her gel coat not even scratched. Whoever had done Ino’s nails had done it meticulously.

“Everything else went smoothly?” Sakura asked.

Ino nodded. “Hyuuga got his shipment. He’s very happy with your work, and Kabuto is actually paying on time for once. Seems he took your threat seriously.”

The blonde paused as the bartender arrived, smiling as he dropped off their drinks. The moment his back was turned, her smile fell. “Naruto’s been watching your port,” Ino continued, her tone turning grim. “He says at least three shipments have dropped in the last week. And they don’t seem to be slowing down.”

“Three?” Sakura repeated.

Ino confirmed with a solemn nod. That news made Sakura frown. Deeply. An unsettling feeling sinking down into the pit of her stomach. There was no way Akatsuki could move that fast. Not without help. There was something she was missing. Something she couldn’t see.

“I have to drop one more shipment to the Senju. After that, we pull everything in,” Sakura eventually said. “Until I figure out what’s going on, we keep our store. No more deliveries.”

Ino blinked in surprise. “You’re going to lose a lot of money.”

“It’s just temporary. Until at least Temari gets back to me.”

“Temari?”

“An old contact of mine in Africa,” Sakura told her. “She deals with information. She’s incredibly resourceful. And accurate.”

“You’re having her look into the port then,” Ino guessed.

Sakura nodded. “Tell Naruto to freeze everything. I’ll let you know when we can move again.”

“And when one of your customers gets upset?”

Sakura just shot her a look. “Tell them to talk to me.”

Ino didn’t look too convinced but she relented nonetheless. They didn’t speak much after that. Sakura lost in her thoughts as Ino eyed the other patrons.

Only once their shots were empty did they stand from the piano. Sakura straightened the collar of her shirt while Ino adjusted the locks of her pink wig before she slipped it over her head. Her blonde hair disappeared flawlessly.

“What do you think? Should I make it permanent?” Ino asked playfully before she made her way towards the door.

Sakura couldn’t resist her smile. She waited exactly three minutes before she too headed out into the night. She didn’t know why but for some reason she chose to take the bus home. It was almost completely empty, the usual rush of commuters already gone. Only a single woman in a waitressing outfit and a young, teenage couple to share the ride with.

Sakura sat by the window, three rows from the back. Watching the moisture gathered on the outside panels of the window. The bumps in the road bounced beneath her feet.

Everything was quiet. Content. Which is why when someone sat beside her on the next stop, Sakura glanced at them sharply. Only to kill the sharp retort on her tongue when she recognized Shisui, dressed in a pair of jeans and a black hoodie.

She waited until the bus merged back in with traffic before speaking, “It’s been awhile.”

Beside her Shisui smiled, those familiar dimples appearing in the corners of his mouth. “Did you miss me?”

“Like a bad hangover.”

“Hangover is just a sign of a good time.”

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh at that, but she cut the banter short. Her stop only a handful of blocks away. “It’s been almost three months, so either your only objective was to get me to talk to Itachi. Or you’ve been working on something.”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, a smirk on his lips that reminded her eerily of Itachi. “You’re too perceptive for your own good, you know that?”

She smiled in return but didn’t speak.

Slowly, that teasing smile slid off his face. “I’ve been following Hashirama,” he told her.

Sakura cocked her brow in surprise. “That’s a dangerous thing to do.”

“I know.”

“Then why do it?”

“Because of what you told Itachi.” When a look of confusion passed over her expression, he supplied, “That it’ll be easier to take out Madara by taking down Hashirama as well.”

“And what did you find?”

“That Hashirama has a lot of money,” Shisui said. His gaze fell forward, casually peering at the other passengers as the bus bumped along. Studied them. Then his attention returned to her. “And not all of it was obtained through his business.”

Sakura couldn’t help the slightly condescending laugh that bubbled out of her mouth. “This may surprise you, Shisui, but most people in the one percent don’t earn all their money the traditional way.”

However, Shisui didn’t share her amusement. “I’m not talking about a small portion. Nearly eighty-five percent of Hashirama’s income is from some other means. Something under the table.”

That gave her some pause. “His business is a front?”

Shisui simply inclined his head in her direction. “I mean, it does generate revenue, but less than five hundred thousand a year. Nowhere near the multimillions it claims to. Which means Hashirama is making his profit elsewhere. And he’s paying someone a good chunk of change to make it seem like it comes from his business.”

“Have you figured out where his money coming from?” Sakura asked.

Shisui shrugged. “Not yet. But it has to be the underground.”

Sakura hummed low in her throat as she considered that. If Hashirama really was that deep in the black market in the States than she would need to tread carefully. A lot more carefully than she had been recently.

Outside, the streetlights flashed by as the bus trucked along. It took her a moment to realize they had passed her stop. By a few blocks. Shisui was looking forward again when she glanced at him. It took her a moment to realize that he seemed to have no stop in mind. Like he was riding the bus purely for the fun of it.

“You didn’t find me just to tell me that, did you?” she asked.

Shisui’s eyes flickered to her but it was a moment before he spoke. “No,” he said quietly. “Our company is getting frustrated that we haven’t had more leads on Madara. They want to shut down your work with Itachi.”

“And what does he think about that?” she murmured. When Shisui didn’t answer, she smiled. “Itachi doesn’t know, does he?”

“Itachi likes you. I don’t know if he thinks you can actually get us information or if he feels like he wants to help you or whatever, but our company is becoming impatient,” he told her. Both not answering her question and answering one she never asked.

She got the impression Shisui was torn on his opinion of her. Both wanting to see her as nothing but a criminal, but also wanting to help her for the sake of his cousin. She understood that. That was how her relationship with Kakashi had begun. On opposite sides but with the same goal.

And not that she would ever admit it aloud, but she wanted Itachi. His help was proving to be invaluable to her. Even given his affiliation.

“What do you want me to do?” Sakura eventually asked.

From inside his pocket, Shisui retrieved a cell phone with a micro-USB cord attached to it. He held it out towards her. “You’re the only one who can get close enough to Madara. Plug this into his cell phone and it’ll make an exact copy. It’ll even receive all his new incoming text messages and emails.”

Sakura stared at the device in his hands for a very long moment. “You want me to steal Madara’s cell phone?” she repeated like he had just asked her to rob a bank that was already surrounded by police. Because he pretty much had.

“No, he can’t know it’s missing. Otherwise, he’ll just get a new phone. We just need you to plug the phones into each other. The transfer only takes five seconds,” he told her. As if that made it any better.

She eyed him flatly. “Madara has a lot of people after him. He won’t just leave it laying around.”

Shisui stared right back. “This is the only thing that will keep my company happy.”

A long moment of silence passed. Shisui waiting for her answer as Sakura seriously considered dropping her entire relationship with him and Itachi and the whole CIA.

Then Sakura took the device from his hands. “I fucking hate your company.”

Shisui’s response was a smirk as the bus rolled to a stop. And without another word, he stood and slipped out into the night.

xx

“You’re sure this will work?”

“Of course, it will,” Sakura told Ino not for the first time. Like if she kept saying it over and over again she might actually convince herself.

Ino held Sakura’s gaze for a moment longer, silently conveying her lack of belief. They were both aware of what might happen should they fail. But neither mentioned this before the blonde turned away. She slipped into the crowd seamlessly, her elegant, black dress melting in with the crowd.

The black-and-white affair was already in full swing. Where people with too much money wore clothes that cost too much and sipped from champagne whose flavor wasn’t worth the price of the bottle. At least it was an open bar.

In the back of the room, Sakura sipped from a flute filled with one of those champagnes. The rich, golden liquid bubbled in her mouth and left a pleasant tang on her tongue. Absently she ran her fingers through her hair as her eyes scanned the room. The texture of the black wig she had borrowed from Ino was silky and smooth. It felt real. But more importantly, it covered her own, unique hair color.

Sakura hadn’t specifically been invited to Hashirama’s party but she hadn’t been turned away at the door either. As if he had suspected she might join for a night of conversing and scheming and making deals.

She had been careful to avoid running into him. And Madara. Just in case either of them recognized her even with her new hairstyle. Because it would be impossible for Sakura to lift Madara’s phone. Not when both men trusted her so little already, their observant eyes scrutinizing her every move.

But Ino…neither Madara or Hashirama had ever seen her face before. It would almost be too easy for the blonde to slip in and out without being noticed.

Sakura hoped.

Sakura’s attention sharpened when she saw Madara slip his phone into the pocket of his pants as a pair of men approached him and Hashirama. The perfect distraction. Sakura held her breath, her drink halfway to her lips as Ino went in for the kill.

As if completely by accident, Ino bumped into Madara mid-conversation as she tried to slip between him and a waiter with a tray of drinks. She apologized with a pretty smile and made her exit cleanly, only pausing once to grab a hors d’oeuvre from another staff member with a platter before she took her time rounding back to Sakura.

“Have you done this before?” Sakura asked, unable to keep the impressed note out of her voice.

Ino just smiled as she smoothly passed Madara’s cell phone over. “I may have swiped a credit card or two in my younger years.”

Sakura replied with an amused smile. She set her drink aside before she withdrew the cell phone Shisui had given her from her purse. Just as he said, the transfer only took five seconds. Curiously she flipped the phone open, amazed at how much information there was on the device. Phone calls, text messages, emails. Even recent Google searches. She was reluctant to even give this back to the CIA. She would benefit from it enormously. She could spend the next week looking through Madara’s information.

Flipping the phone closed, Sakura returned the cell to her purse before she passed Madara’s back to Ino. “Are you able to get this back to him?”

Ino smiled. A little sweet. A little cunning. “Of course.”

Without a word, Ino made her way back out into the room. She weaved through the other men and women dressed to impress, only stopping once to pick up a drink at the bar.

Sipping from her glass, Sakura eyed Ino curiously, wondering exactly what her friend would do. It took a few minutes for the two men Madara and Hashirama were chatting with to depart. The very instant they were gone, Ino was there. This time, she engaged Madara, offering him an apologetic smile as she passed him a fresh drink. Sakura didn’t even see her replace his phone in his pocket.

Ino was far better at this than Sakura thought.

Smirking, Sakura sipped her champagne. She wasn’t entirely sure what drew her gaze to one side of the room, but her eyes wandered. Stopping when they landed on Tobirama.

There were a handful of others with him all engaged in conversation, but he seemed to be paying them no mind. Instead, his eyes lingered on Ino. Before they shifted to Sakura. Their eyes met.

In that moment, Sakura knew Tobirama knew it was her, even with her mild disguise. Knew he had watched the whole scene play out. She doubted he was aware of exactly what had just occurred but at least understood he had witnessed something he wasn’t supposed to.

Sakura didn’t bother trying to hide from him. Merely held his gaze for a moment longer before she turned away and headed towards the door. Ino only a minute behind her.

to be continued…

[yasminsqueendom]

Antique the Vamp Geek Pt1 Ep10

CW: Lots of cussing, anxiety, crying, stress

A/N: Like a lot of stress

W/C: 1856

Hey y’all! It’s story time.

Imma get right into it.

My bitch ass, stick up her ass having, roommate found out I’m a vamp…..and the bitch ratted me out to my school. 

So, rewinding a little bit, I got an email from the nurse’s office “reminding” me that I had exactly one month to submit my status to the office. I thought it was just a routine reminder that was sent to everyone who hadn’t taken it yet. But, then a follow up email came through setting a specific time for me to come down for testing. 

At this point, I’m getting nervous because I know that appointments aren’t required. We all just had a deadline to submit the results. We aren’t even required to get the test done here at the school. So it seems extremely odd to me that they would be harassing me like this. On top of that, I DON’T HAVE TO SUBMIT MY RESULTS SINCE I LIVE OFF CAMPUS. And even if I did, I had until the end of the month to do it.

So, when my afternoon class ends, I go down to the nurse’s office to request a time extension or something. Just anything to buy myself some time. I get down there and there is only one nurse in the office and public safety officer at the door. That set off alarm bells in my mind because there is always a secretary, an assistant, and some student volunteers. It looks way too creepy in here for me. 

The lady looks scared for her life, and I'm already convinced they know what I am. My stomach is in knots and everything and I'm stressed tf out. Like what am I going to do? She damn near jumps out of her seat when I say who I am and why I'm there. 

She pushes this little kit across the counter and says “Open it and follow the directions inside.” I feel myself starting to get pissed because now I can't go into a room for privacy? I can't get a alcohol swab before I stick this needle in my finger or whatever? What the fuck?

So I gently remind her that it is protocol for me to be called back to one of the rooms for privacy. 

THIS BITCH GON SAY IT'S FOR EVERYONE'S SAFETY FOR ME TO DO IT HERE! 

I kindly say that I wouldn't be taking any tests until I get my own room for it. If I have something contagious, it would be safer for everyone if I was somewhere private. Internally, I feel completely unsafe and honestly am convinced that if I come to a back room I might not make it back out again. The public safety monkey outside has me feeling like I'm turning myself in for committing the crime of existing. I start to doubt myself, and I feel my resolve weakening. 

So, she shakily gets up and points down the hall talking about “You can use the last room on the right.”

Ignoring her rudeness, I go down the hall with the kit. I follow the instructions to remove the cap and press it to my finger. It would put you in the mind of blood sugar monitors for diabetic people. I place it in the little baggie that comes with the shit. I go back out to hand it to the nurse over the desk. 

This bitch jumps like I threw a whole grenade at her. I mean all the way, damn near under the desk. Her damn chair hit the file cabinet behind her and everything. It would have been fucking hilarious if it wasn't for my severe terror building up inside me. I was almost numb. 

She says I can go so I just turn around and walked out because fuck this place. 

I barely remember what I did after that. I send some vague email to the professor of my next class about feeling too sick to come in. And then just go back to my place and curl up in a ball on my bedroom floor and sob like a fucking baby. Like snot and shit everywhere. I'm just beyond consolable. 

Eventually, I hear someone moving around out in the main room and I'm immediately paranoid. I crawl over to my bathroom to splash water on my face. I look a hot ass mess in the mirror. I'm frustrated at myself for crying because if I didn't look ghoulish before, I do now. 

Anyway, I ease my door open and see it's gotten dark since I came in. And that's strange to me since both my other roommates need light to see at night. So, if one of them is here, it would certainly be much brighter in the apartment.

I see my super religious roommate's door is open. I peak around her doorway and see her in there trying (and failing miserably) to stuff a backpack full of clothes. Some burly dude is in there with her using his cell phone's flashlight.  

When I tell you I felt heat in my damn scalp. Like, literally I thought I was gonna set something on fire just by touching it. Because I immediately know that everything I have suffered through that day was because of this ugly, naked mole rat looking, “I only buss it open for Jesus” acting, “my shit smell better than yours”  behaving, stick up her ass having ass bitch is trying to run away after she just potentially ended my time as a student. And may have just fucked up my whole world. AND SHE IS TRYING TO RUN??? RUN AWAY FROM THE SITUATION THAT SHE IS CAUSING RIGHT NOW.  

I close my eyes for a brief moment, and switch the lights on. I know it will take them longer to adjust than me. She starts screaming and he grunts like the big ass gollum he is. But he recovers quicker. I know already that any physical motion I make will be interpreted as a threat to these assholes. I just slowly open my eyes and just stare at them. My eyes burn, but I am so numb that I can’t even manage a reaction. He is standing there looking like there isn’t much between his ears (as my grandma would say). But she…...oh this bitch right here…..has the audacity to look like I just pulled a gun on her. Like I was gonna shoot her right then. I guess that’s how I looked. I know that’s how I felt. I never wanted to bite someone so bad. As much as I hate the thought of consuming any part of a creature like her, I wanted to attack. I was feeling reckless.

“Just tell me the truth.” I asked her. And she looks like she is about to piss on herself. I’m hoping she does. I want her to feel humiliated. I want her to hurt. She won’t say anything though, so I repeat myself. “Just tell me that you did it. Tell me that you called in and snitched on me.” 

She is still standing there looking absolutely foolish. But eventually she squeaks out, “I don’t know what you mean.”

Now, I feel cold. Like ice cold. We already run a little cooler, but now I feel a got damn iceberg. And then I feel nothing. 

It is at this precise moment that I hear the key turning in the main room. The Uninfected in front of me can’t hear it. They both clearly want to bolt, but I’m blocking the only safe exit. The fire escape outside of the window is rickety and rusting in places, but they look like they might try it just to get away from the “monster.” 

“Home sweet home.” My other roommate says from the hall. She walks up behind me, and freezes. She can only just see over my shoulder, and she is so close behind me I can feel her body heat. “What’s going on?”

It’s weird, but her body heat starts to thaw me out a little. I feel completely drained. I almost slump over, but I’m still angry enough to keep standing. I slowly back into my roommate, I know there are shadows behind me, swallowing me up as I step backwards. She’s complaining about me bumping into her, but she isn’t strong enough to push me forward, and she clearly doesn’t want to get in between me and the others. 

I reach up and shut the lights off again, and feel the smallest bit of satisfaction from the look of horror on Gollum and Stiff’s faces as they can’t see me anymore. He’s fumbling for his phone for the flashlight, and she is looking like a lost child. I can’t bring myself to care. They look pathetic. 

“Tell me what’s going on right now.” My saint of a roommate whispers in my ear.  I pull her back across the hall into my bedroom and close the door loud enough for the others to hear. I leave the lights off since I don’t need them (she’s used to that by now), and I tell her everything that has happened to me. Even things that haven’t happened yet. All my fears, all my pain pours out of me, and I feel incredibly grateful that I have at least one good friend that I can talk to face to face about everything. 

It made me think about all of my baby vamp listeners who send me emails about how alone they feel. I know it’s hard, but you aren’t alone. We aren’t alone. You are seen. You are heard. You are loved. 

Back to the story, my phone starts buzzing. I look over at it, and hear my roommate gasp. I realize this is the first time that she has seen my face. The light of my phone is illuminating me. Apparently, I was crying while I was talking, so she reaches across and hugs me. Just a sweet, friendly hug of someone being supportive, and kind. 

And then she does something I never thought anyone would do for me. She offers to be my source. I mean, wow. My world is fucking ending, and sometimes I don’t pay my portion of rent on time, and she offers to keep me alive. I am stunned. But, I politely refuse. I don’t want her life to be stained by mine any more than it already is by associating with me. 

I was so distracted by her kindness that I almost forgot what I had just seen on my phone. My father called me...he never calls me. My panic levels instantly soar over 9,000. My eyes go blurry and I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do. There’s a text message there, too, but I feel too distraught to read it. 

I just put that shit down, rolled over and went to sleep. 

At some point, I woke up and dealt with that shit later.

Anyway, stay safe y’all. Moisturize and hydrate.

Love Tique.