#like okay why can't scout be ace. why can't soldier be ace. why can't medic be ace. why is it always sniper and pyro

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

Didn't you say like a few months ago that if someone hcs sniper as ace they're infantilizing him or smth? I think the reasoning you gave was that only reason ppl would hc him as ace is because he doesn't like being around people?

I'm going to open this by saying you know damn well that's not what I said, but I am going to clarify on what I probably was saying that you are choosing to present this way: I find a constant focus on Sniper tf2 as "the ace one" to be a weird stereotype of both socially weird/mentally ill/neurodivergent/etc. people and asexual people, especially when it overlaps with "Sniper tf2 autism king heart eyes"posting. Although obviously there are plenty of socially weird/mentally ill/neurodivergent/etc. asexual people, I dislike the fandomy conflation of the two, not only as someone who is socially weird and not asexual, but as someone who knows ace people who are not Shy and Quiet and etc.! Obviously asexual Sniper tf2 is Good and Fine and Cool, I said I like it, but like I said I think making Sniper "the ace one" veers a little too far into "asexual people are asexual because they do not Understand Sex (because neurodivergent <3)" territory, or even "asexual people just can't get any" territory. Basically like all lgbt headcanons, the way in which you go about it can and does matter sometimes. I have a big ol post complaining about how people use transfem Spy headcanons to associate being transfeminine with being "wet and pathetic" or whatever, it doesn't mean I dislike or inherently oppose transfem Spy. Don't put words into my mouth, I don't fall for that!

[ink-on-the-brink]

My Opinions On Each TF2 Ship

This is just for fun. I've been kinda stressed lately and felt like maybe just having some fun giving my opinions!

There will be no mention of Pyro because I prefer to keep them away from romance. Pyro is ace I will fucking fight all of you-

This list is from least to most favorite so strap in!

Sniper x Soldier - 0/10

I honestly don't even know what to say about this one

Heavy x Scout - 0/10

Ew, no, why the fu- no. Heavy is scout's uncle alright.

These two be fucking with each other but not that way. More like an 'i swear to god ill murder you if you touch that-' 'haha I touched it! Whatcha gonna do?' Kinda way.

Age difference. Age difference

Soldier x Scout - 0/10

No

Scout x Engie -0/10

Scout adopted Engie as his dad and you can't tell me any different.

Also no I didn't say that wrong. Scout adpoted Engie.

Medic x Scout - 0/10

Nope. No. Nadda. Medic wants this boy dead. Scout has to be one of Medic's pet peeves. A constantly curious, nosy, incompetent 'child' that doesn't understand the words 'don't touch that'? No way in hell.

Demo x Spy - 0/10

I honestly don't know how these two would even get to become friends. They seem like they'd only tolerate each other, especially since Spy's taste is more classy.

Heavy x Spy - 1/10

How...how would that even...I don't see it at all. They are completely different people and not in the opposite attract kinda way, they are on completely different moral compasses.

Maybe time chilling in the smoking-room reading???

I honestly don't know how anyone could see these two together.

Spy x Soldier - 2/10?

Okay so I've only heard of this ship recently, and I was so very caught off guard. Of all the ships y'all choose these two? Why? I don't understand. I mean aesthetically I get it. Gruff, battle-hardened military man and sleek, sneaking assassin find unexpected love. But like in reality it's sorta not like that. They'd hate each other to the bone, and I'm pretty sure they do. I mean Spy going for the least classy, least subtle, and loudest member of the team? Not likely.

Medic x Spy - 3/10

I feel like they'd have more hatred for each other than actual care.

I mean Medic literally kept a Spy head in his fridge. You don't just stare at something like that every day without some form of hatred for it.

That being said, there could be a sort of fatal attraction sort of thing. A forbidden romance where they kill each other but y'know, in a sexy way. But I really don't think they'd be a good ship.

Sniper x Spy - 4/10

Wait hold up I can explain, don't murder me yet.

Now I understand the whole enemies to lovers thing and how they're both brooding and silent and god just so dramatic-

And they're obviously close, seeing as Spy told Sniper about Scout being his kid, but I just kinda don't vibe with it. I kinda see it more as a they really only talk to eachother because they know the other is going to keep their mouth shut.

But besides that they just sorta feel like they don't vibe with eachother.

Sniper x Medic - 4/10

Maybe? Kinda? I don't see these two with very much chemistry either.

But birds might draw them together.

Maybe Medic finds Sniper's little bird facts slightly endearing or something?

Most of the time I've ever seen these two shipped is when they ship all support classes, which feels more like putting a bunch of hot guys together for just the thought of it rather than the relationship dynamics. Not that I'm complaining, you guys do what you want. I just prefer the chemistry of it all.

Heavy x Soldier - 5/10?

Hmmm, I honestly don't know. I'd have to think on this one more. It kinda gives me some nice vibes but I'm not sure why.

I can at least imagine these two hanging out in training so maybe they gain chemistry that way? I'd love to hear more about this ship but for now it stays at a steady five.

Medic x Soldier - 5/10

Surprisingly I kinda feel like it might work.

Hear me out now, but I feel like Medic would really enjoy experimenting on Soldier and, considering Soldier is oblivious, he would be all up for it.

I mean Medic sees this dude every day from cut off fingers to raccoon bites, if anything they've at least learned how to balance out each other's behaviors enough to tolerate each other.

Heavy x Sniper - 5/10

An extremely rare pairing and I kinda get it. I don't really see them being a thing?

I guess they both kinda got strong family values but I think Heavys is just more mature than Sniper and they both don't really have much of a connection anywhere. Plus the age difference(even if Sniper looks old as fuck-)

Sniper x Engie - 5/10

Another one I'm not sure about. The vibes aren't bad, but they also aren't there?

I feel like these two have a bunch of early morning talks over a cup of coffee. They probably memorized each other's coffee.

Sniper and him probably go for road trips too.

There are also the other two that are fully trusted to go to the store to only get what they need, which means they probably end up going with each other 99% of the time, just so that they don't have to bring one of the others.

Demo x Scout - 6/10

I mean, why not. They seem like they'd get along.

Again, age difference, but at least they're closer with maturity levels.

I feel like they'd be masters at pranks when they work together. These two would have the whole team hating them in seconds.

They'd totally just have breakdowns in front of each other which makes the other start crying and eventually they're both sobbing in each other's arms. Kids at heart.

Sniper x Demo - 6/10

I could honestly see this working a bit. Just two dudes chillin.

They kinda have the same sort of problems with letting down family and have different ways of suppressing their emotions.

I feel like they'd sit under the stars with hours of conversation before ending up sobbing together.

They strike me as the types of dudes who kinda help each other out of their lows.

Heavy x Engie - 7/10

Awww, this could be cute.

Heavy's like 20 times the size of Engie, and they are both teddy bears in their respective ways.

I can imagine Heavy giving Engie a blunt compliment due to his lack of English not making him really subtle and Engie getting flustered by it.

These two are also dads. They both give off huge dad energy.

They are the only thing keeping the team from falling into utter chaos.

Plus they're both extremely smart in their own fields so I imagine they like to surprise each other with little trivia facts.

Demo x Medic - 8/10

These two could totally work. They both encourage each other a lot. Maybe a little bit too much.

Medic is gonna be super interested in studying Demo and his body's ability to withstand so much alcohol. Science nerds? Hell yeah!

Heavy x Demo - 8/10

Double teddy bears! Since they're both huge Heavy isn't worried about crushing him so hugs, lots of hugs.

I could 100% see these two silently sitting together late at night reading different books just chilling in each other's company.

And Demo trying to teach Heavy to play piano and Heavy failing miserably, but both of them just laugh it off

Spy x Engie - 8/10

Okay, so this was only recently brought to my attention as a good ship. I kinda didn't like it at first, I'm just not for enemies to lovers really, but then I saw a bunch of art for this ship. I don't remember who it was but it was genuinely the most moving work I'd seen from tf2 fanart and honestly, it set these two so much higher for me.

Okay so, to the actual analysis of the ship now. Basically, it's kinda the fact that these two have always been the most mature and the even-minded problem-solvers that draw them together.

They can only really trust each other and yet they both really don't. Spys a backstabber and Engie isn't all he pretends to be.

But they end up having to trust each other anyway in order to get things done until eventually they only really have each other to hold on to. Meaning each other are the only ones able to see past their disguises and into who they truly are.

Demo x Soldier - 9/10

Boots and bombs! I fucking love it.

Best friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes.

These two would literally die for each other.

And they're constantly doing dumb shit with each other.

They have fun and blow shit up! Who could ask for more?

Soldier x Engie - 9/10

Not gonna lie, these two used to be my otp for a while.

They just kinda have a wholesomeness to them. Engie with his calm, collected, well-meaning attitude and Soldier with his loud, outgoing, straight to the point attitude make for a nice opposites attract kinda thing.

I feel like Engie would calm Soldier down a bit and Soldier would get Engie to get louder every now and then. Soldier would also be kinda protective of Engie, though Engie would be the one saving his ass most of the time.

Heavy x Medic - 10/10

Top tear, basically cannon gay dudes, amazing, gorgeous.

Mad scientist and his indifferent but caring lover, what more could you ask for.

Best bird parents.

These two have hella chemistry and I know this ship is overdone to all hell but fuck that, this ship's fire.

Sniper x Scout - 10/10

Oh boy, it's time for another 10/10. These boys go perfectly together. I fucking love this dynamic.

Scout just going around being an annoying little shit indiscriminately and in doing so getting Sniper's attention.

Sniper likes to act mature but no, no he fucking isn't. The dude willingly and openly chooses to piss in jars and throw it at people.

They mess with everyone on the team, but Scout always gets the slack for it, even if Sniper helped. Scout doesn't mind though because that means he has someone who everyone thinks is mature working for him. It's so much easier to pull off pranks when no one suspects you.

Also, I bet whenever one of them has especially vivid nightmares they'd sleep over in the other's room for the night. They vibe so hard that even if they weren't dating they wouldn't even question it.

Medic x Engie - 10/10

Science party! And it's another one of those underrated ships! Less so than Demo x Engie but still!

What does a mad surgeon mixed with a mechanical genius just as desensitized to insanity make? Crimes against god. These two are work buddies but I mean come on. That's one wall of separation between lovers. Making sure each other sleep? Providing blankets when they inevitably fall asleep at their desk? Making each other coffee in the morning? Getting excited about a shared project?! These two are flirting, you know I'm right!

They'd commit war crimes for each other.

Demo x Engie - 10000000000/10

OTP! OTP! OTP!

For real, literally the most underrated ship. I need more of this in my life from the love of all that is sacred please notice this amazing ship.

Okay so first off, dad vibes. They give the best comfort and advice.

Second, they're both extremely smart in their own fields. You can't tell me they wouldn't rant for hours about their latest intelligence based endeavor as the other silently nods along.

Thirdly, they both genuinely care about the team and each other. They can pick up when the other isn't feeling okay and will do whatever they can to fix it, even if it's small like making little trinkets or keeping the team busy to give the other some space.

Not to mention that they are aware of each other's bad habits and try to help the other when it goes overboard.

Best couple ^-^