#like so many other characters have done stuff thats objectively just as bad or worse

[howaboutwedont]

joy

[jaethaone]

Otherside

Paring: Massimo x Reader 

Word Count: 2,464

Requested By @ee101abc

Warnings: Character Death, Swearing, Fluff If You Squint, Angst .. I Think Thats It 

A/n : Im Sorry For Taking Forever In Posting But Between Running A Business, Working To Fund Said Business, And Being In School Its A Little Hard Finding The Free Time To Write But I Promise I’m Going To Find A Way, I Haven’t Forgot About You All . So Anyways I Hope You Enjoy And Sorry For Any Mistakes Seeing As To How This Version That You All Are About To Read Is The Second Time I’ve Written This Because The First One Went Poof. 

Lyrics In Bold

Flashbacks In Italics 

“Do You Ever Think That There’s Something More Out There” You Asked As You And Massimo Sat Out On One Of His Many Balconies Watching The Sun Set Out Over The Ocean.. A Sight That Was Truly Breathtaking. 

“I’m Not Sure What You Mean Principessa” You Laughed At The Quizzical Look On His Face As He Tried To Think Of  What Prompted You To Ask Such A Question

“You Know Like.. Once We Die Ya Know” 

“You Mean Heaven And Hell” He Said Causing You To Slap His Arm In A Playful Manner At The Sarcasm In His Voice 

“Yes And No.. I Just, I Feel Like There’s More Out There. Like This Wouldn’t Be The End” You Said Looking Out Onto The Horizon The Sunset Long Gone 

“Okayyy , You’ve Had Enough To Drink” He Laughed Trying To Reach Over To Take The Glass From Your Hand, Causing You To Abruptly Yank You Hand Back Spilling The Contents Of The Glass 

“Just Know Torricelli There’s More Than This” You Said Taking A Sip Of Your Drink “And When All Is Said And Done, You Will See Me On The Otherside 

5 Months Later 

Massimo Stood In His Office, Looking Out At The Sunset That You And Him Often Found Yourselves Watching Everyday. So Much Was Going Through His Head. Wondering Why You Didn’t Tell Him. If Only He Knew He Could’ve Done Something. So Caught Up In His Thoughts He Didn’t Hear Domenico And Mario Walk In Until They Spoke Up.

“Massimo.. You Cannot Stay In This Office All Day, You Have To Get Out Its Been Three Day.. She Wouldn’t Want This” Mario Said As He Went To Sit In One Of The Chairs Stationed By His Desk 

“Its My House I Will Do As I Damn Well Please”

“I Don’t Agree With Mario On A Lot Of This But He’s Right On This Mas.. This Isn’t Healthy” Domenico Said As He Cautiously Walked Over And Put His Hand On His Shoulder As A Way Of Comfort 

“I Could Have Did Something” Massimo Whispered Turning Away From Domenico As Tears Started To Fall But It Was To Late. Dom Had Already Seen Bringing Him Into A Much Needed Hug 

“There Was Nothing We Could Have Done Mas” Mario Said Standing Up And Walking Towards The Two Men Wanting To Help Comfort The Man He’s Considered A Son “She Had A Heart Condition, There Was No Way Of Us Knowing” 

If The Storm Comes 

If We Burn Up 

If The Wells Run Dry 

You’re My Reason 

To Believe In 

Another Life 

You Never Were The One To Want Peoples’ Sympathy.. Or Fake Sympathy If You Should Put It, You Never Liked The Looks Of Pity People Gave You Whenever Something Bad Happened So When You Went For Your Monthly Check Up And Your Doctor Informed You That You’re Heart Was Failing, The Current Medicine You’d Been Taking No Longer Working And That You Had At The Most Six Months Left You Chose Not To Tell Any One.. Not Wanting To Be Treated Like A Fragile Porcelain Doll For The Rest Of Your Life, Or At Least What You Have Left Of It. 

Walking Into Massimos Office Like You Owned The Place Because In Some Sense You Did, It Was Your Favorite Place In The Whole House And Massimo Couldn’t For The Life Of Him Figure Out Why; You Noticed Him On The Phone And Sat Down At One Of The Chairs In Front Of His Desk Kicking You’re Feet Up Waiting For Him To Get Done With His Call.. Not That You Were In A Rush, You Liked Being In His Presence No Matter What. 

“Sorry That Took So Long, I Wasn’t Expecting You To Drop By Today” Massimo Said Getting Off The Phone An Hour Later. His Loud Voice Causing You To Jump Out Of The Slumber You Unknowingly Slipped Into 

“Huh” You Said As You Jumped Up Causing Massimo To Laugh At Your Confused State. Getting Up To Get Himself A Drink From The Makeshift Bar He Had In The Corner Of His Office Pouring Himself A Glass Of Whiskey And Shaking The Bottle In Your Direction. A Way Of Asking If You Wanted Any, Causing You To Nod Your Head. 

“I Was Saying I Wasn’t Expecting You To Stop By Today.. I Could Have Rescheduled That Call” He Said As He Walked Over To You And Handed You Your Glass 

“There’s No Need For That Mas, You Don’t Have To Reschedule A Call For Me, Especially An Important Business Call” 

“Sciocchezze (Nonsense)” Massimo Said As He Leaned Back Against The Front Of His Desk “So How Was Your Appointment” 

“Oh You Know, Same Ol Same Ol .. Female Stuff” You Started To Say But Massimo Cut You Off Saying He’d Heard Enough Causing You To Laugh At His Displeasure In The Subject 

“So What Do I Owe The Pleasure Of Seeing You Today” 

“I Can’t Just Come And See My Bestfriend Without There Being A Reason” You Said, And If You Were Paying Attention You Would Have Noticed The Slight Falter In Massimos Smile As You Mentioned The Word Bestfriend.. But You Didn’t Caught Up In The Nervousness That You Had Only Six Months Left. Six Months On This Earth, Six Months Until You Wouldn’t Be Able To See His Beautiful Face Anymore. 

“Hey, You Okay” Massimo Reached Out To Touch You Arm, That Simple Action Bringing You Back To Reality, Back To Him 

“Im Fine” You Smiled Up At Him, Then Looked Past Him Noticing The Sun Was Starting To Set 

“You Sure Amore” He Asked Worry Clearly Written On His Face

“Yes, Now Come.. Watch The Sun Set With Me” You Said Grabbing His Hand And Dragging Him Towards The Balcony In His Office 

“Since When Do You Watch The Sun Set”

“Since Now” You Said Walking To The Couch Patting The Spot Next To You For Him To Sit “Life’s Too Short Not To Try New Things And Enjoy The Little Things 

If We Wake Up 

Lose Our Patience 

Or Even Lose Our Lives, Oh

I’ll Feel Lucky

To Say That You’ve Been 

A Friend Of Mine 

Today Was One Of Your Difficult Days, The More Time Passed The More You Had You Good And Bad Days, And Today Was Proving To Be A Bad Day But You Wouldn’t Let That Stop You There Were Things That You Needed To Get Done. First You Had To Stop Buy Your Lawyers Office To Drop Off Some Things To Give To Your Family And Massimo When The Time Came, Then You Had To Clean Out You Apartment. The Task Alone Was Proving Difficult Though Seeing As How You Needed To Sit And Rest Every Couple Of Minutes Causing You To Not Get Much Done. 

You Let Out A Frustrated Scream Throwing The Object You Had In Your Hand Across The Room Knocking Over A Random Box Full Of Stuff. You Were Tired To Say The Least And It Looked Like You Weren’t Getting Closer To Finishing Even Though You Started At Noon, And It was Now Going On Six. In The Midst Of Your Frustration You Didn’t Notice Your Front Door Opening And Closing Massimo Walking Into View Using The Spare Key You Gave Him. You Weren’t Expecting Him To Stop By, But Seeing As How You Haven’t Been By His Place In A Couple Of Days Due To Your Shortness Of Breath Now, Its Not Completely Unexpected 

“What Is Going On In Here” Massimo Said Stepping Over Box After Box Until He Reached The One Open Space You Were Currently Standing In The Middle Of “You Not Trying To Leave Me Are You Principessa” 

“I Could Never Leave You Mas” You Said As A Small Smile Ghosted You Lips, As You Though About The Double Meaning To That Line, And The Soon Inevitable. Massimo Didn’t Miss The The Look Your Face Held Either, Worry Once Again Taking Over His Face 

“I Know I Ask This A Lot But Are You Sure You’re Okay Love” 

“I’m As Good As I’ll Ever Be Torricelli” You Said Smiling Up At Him 

“What’s With All The Boxes Anyways” He Said Taking A Look Around 

“Spring Cleaning” You Said Not Bringing Yourself To Tell Him The Real Reason For Packing All Of Your Things Up 

“In The Middle Of Fall” 

“Hey, You Have To Start Sometime Right” You Said As You Started To Laugh But Soon Turned To A Fit Of Coughing So Harsh It Caused You To Stumble Over Prompting Massimo To Reach Out And Grab You Standing You Up Straight 

“You Okay Principessa” He Said Looking At You With Eyes Of Concern 

“I’m Perfect.. I Have You Hear With Me” You Smiled Up At Him.. Taking In The Man Others Feared But You Called Your Bestfriend, Secretly Wanting To Call Him More “You Know, I Feel Lucky, To Say That You’ve Been A Friend Of Mine, That I Get To Call You My Best Friend.. I Love You Mas” 

“I Love You Too Amore” 

Massimo Eventually Left His Office, Only Moving To His Bed Room But It Was Still Progress. He Just Couldn’t Believe That The Last Words He’d Spoken To You Were “I Love You Too Amore”. If Only You’d Told Him Sooner, Why Didn’t You Tell Him Sooner. He Went To Your House That Day With The Intent Of Telling You How He Truly Felt But He Never Got The Chance. 

You Had Soon Erupted Into Another Coughing Fit The Second Worse Than The First Causing You To Clench At Your Chest And Massimo Eventually Rush You To The Nearest Emergency Room. If Only You’d Told Him, He Would Have Gave You The Best Doctors Money Could By, They Could Have Saved You He Thought. He Would Have Told You That When He Said He Loved You, He Meant It With Every Fiber Of His Being.. And He Would Have Found Out That You Recuperated Those Feelings. 

So Caught Up In His Thoughts He Ignored The Open And Close Of His Room Door Continuing To Stare Up At His Ceiling

“Something Came For You Today” Domenico Said Approaching The Side Of Massimos Bed 

“ I Don’t Care” 

“Its A Letter Fr-” Dom Started To Say But Was Cut Off By Massimo

“I Said I Don’t Give A Damn” He Growled 

Knowing His Friend Is Going Through A Lot Right Now, As They All Are Because You Worked Your Way Into All Of Their Hearts, He Understood The Frustration 

“Its From Yn” Domenico Continued To Say Causing Massimo To Look Over At Him “I Get If You Don’t Want To Read It Right Now, Just Know Its Right Here” 

And With That Domenico Put The Letter On The Nightstand And Left The Room. He Was Hesitant At First But After A Couple Of Minutes Massimo Sat Up And Reached For The Letter, Rubbing His Fingers Over The Envelope Before Ripping It Open, Taking A Moment To Admire Your Hand Writing. Taking A Deep Shaky Breath, He Unfolded The Letter And Started Reading What Was Now Clear Your Last Words To Him  

Dear Massimo, 

     By The Time You Get This Letter, It Will Have Been Three Days After My Funeral. I Know That You Are Probably Held In Your Office Or Room, Drinking Your Life Away Blaming Yourself For This, But It Is Not Your Fault. It Is No One’s Fault. This Is How Things Were Meant To Be And I’ve Came To Terms With That. I Know You Have So Many Questions As To Why This Happened Why I Didn’t Tell You, And I’m Sorry I Didn’t.. I Guess I had My Own Selfish Reasons For Keeping This From You. But To Give You The Explanation You Deserve, I’ve Had A Heart Condition For A Little Over 4 Years Now. I’ve Been On Tons Of Different Medications To Try And Sedate My Condition, But As Time Went On My Condition Worsened And The Medications Stopped Working. I Don’t Want You To Blame Yourself For This, I Don’t Want You To Shut People Out, I Know This Will Be Hard For You, Its Hard For Me Just Writing This Letter. But You Are Massimo Fucking Torricelli, My Bestfriend And The Man I Fell In Love With, And You Will Get Through This.. And When You Time Comes.. You Will See Me Again 

                                                                          Love, Yn

As He Got Done Reading The Letter, He Didn’t Even Realize He Was Crying Again. As He Was About To Lay Back Down Massimo Felt A Breeze, Turning To Get Up So He Could Close His Balcony Door, He Stopped Dead In His Tracks At The Sight In front Of Him. 

Dressed In This Beautiful All White Dress That Just Seemed To Flow Endlessly, And Skin Glowing Stood, His Bestfriend, The Woman He Loved But Never Got To Tell. Goddess Doesn’t Even Begin To Compare To How She Looked. Shocked And Confused As To What He Was Seeing, He Stood There, Afraid To Move, Scared That What He Was Seeing Would Disappear 

“I- .. How” Massimo Stammered.. Feet Still Glued To The Spot As You Walked Closer To Him “How Are You Here Right Now” 

“It Doesn’t Matter How, All That Matters Is That I Am” 

“I Miss You So Much Principessa” Massimo Said As He Reached To Touch Your Face Shocked That His Hand Didn’t Just Fall Through Your Figure “There Is So Much I Need To Tell You.. I Don’t Know If I Can Do This Without You” 

“I Know I Know.. And That Time Will Come” You Said As Your Hand Graced The Side Of His Face As Did His On Yours “And You Don’t Have To Explain Anything I Know” 

“I Wish There Was Something I Could Have Done” He Whispered 

“There Was Nothing You Could Do, Nor Me But Except It” You Said Looking Up At Him “So I Need You To Be Strong For Me Okay” 

“I Don’t Want You To Leave” He Said Placing His Forehead Against Yours And Closing His Eyes.. Taking In Your Embrace 

“Hey” You Said Causing Him To Open His Eyes To Look At You “This Isn’t The End, Let Me Be Your Reason To Believe In Another Life”

“I Love You Mi Amore”

Taking The Chance To Kiss Him Before You Disappeared You Leaned Up And Connected Your Lips With His, Massimo Not Rejecting Eagerly Kissed Back, But After A Couple Of Moments He Started To Fell Your Once Solid Figure Fad Away. Opening His Eyes He Noticed You Smiling At Him But The Image Of You Getting Lighter 

“Don’t Leave”  He Whispered 

“Best Believe Me, You Will See Me On The Otherside” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Based On The Song Otherside By Beyonce 

Authors Note: Whew ... Yall It Is Currently 3:47am ... I Was Determined To Get This Out For Yall.. I Hope You Enjoy And Feedback Is Greatly Appreciated . So Please Let Me Know If You Guys Enjoyed It And More Imagines Will Be Coming Soon. 

Taglist: @nebulastarr @posiemax @mjaudrey @akshi8278​ 

[404utopia]

I’ve been reading this manga thats basically a re-adaption of the first recorded novel of Japanese smut. At first I thought I could indulge in a forbidden romance manga to take my mind off of things I’ve been going through lately like when I read Kuzu no Honkai or Domestic Kanojo but instead sometimes in between all the raunchy sex scenes and rather depressing outcomes there’s been some pretty wholesome vanilla and its actually been getting me even more depressed.

Like when I’m depressed, reading depressing stuff actually somehow helps me feel better but for some reason all the wholesome positive stuff makes me feel worse. Its almost like “wow I wish I could experience this”.

The manga I’m referring to is Minamoto-kun Monogatari. I’ve read roughly 150 chapters in the last two days and like I said before, in between all the negative bullshit there’s been some pretty heartfelt parts and I can’t help but feel jealous of the fictional scenarios.

The manga is a heavily manga-nized (?) reinvention of the Tales of Genji which is essentially A tale that concentrates on Genji's romantic life and describes the customs of the aristocratic society of the time. In the tale Genji encounters 14 women who he has romantic endeavors with, but they are all significantly different and it could potentially provide actual insight into the thought process of women when it comes to romance, the interesting aspect is that the author is a woman, and in the manga the main character’s aunt essentially dictates and helps his love life.

The first girl in the manga was actually rather distasteful, by the end of Minamoto’s quest with this first girl it actually turned out that she didn’t want a relationship with sexual advances - while many I feel in this day and age would say thats reasonable - I for one feel like sex is part of a healthy relationship and is rather necessary. The second girl had her own set of issues that made Minamoto-kun rather afraid of pursuing anything sexual with women. The third girl he encounters was pretty significant, this girl was extremely old fashioned, she has a pure heart, and was all about making Minamoto happy. By the end of the quest for the third girl’s heart, it was acknowledged that the third girl couldn’t figure out what love actually is - the affection she was giving him was empty. The third girl personally left a bad taste in my mouth, it was extremely relatable for me and to be honest I even felt slightly depressed by the end of the arc with the third girl. The 4th and 6th girl was rather questionable in terms of literary quality, they both felt pointless and forgotten shortly after their appearance. However, the fifth girl represented the first recorded yandere in literature which appeared in The Tales of Genji. The significant aspect of this girl is the fact that the author doesn’t take the fictional approach to yandere but rather the mentally ill aspect of it. The yandere in this manga was sexually harassed in her first line of work and because the main character was being bullied at the same time when she met him in the past she used him as an object of admiration, she thought “hes so strong that he can overcome his harassment” and eventually all those thoughts of admiration turned into an unhealthy obsession. While my libido totally agreed with this character, I have to say the way the author portrayed the mental illness in this girl was a total turn off - as it should be. The 7th girl was an interesting case, the interaction between the 7th girl and Minamoto ended up being nothing more than a one night stand but it actually served to be beneficial to the girl but really not good for Minamoto. The 7th girl already had a relationship but her relationship was rather abusive in the sense that she was completely ignored by her partner, it made her feel very invalidated and worthless. By breaking free of the chains of he relationship and having sex with Minamoto she realized she could move on from her confinement but at the same time Minamoto was stressed and depressed that he couldn’t find a valid healthy relationship with a girl. 7 times now he encountered girls who would either drop him immediately after sex or straight up had mental health issues. The 8th girl however has really captured my heart and I’m worried about reading any further to see how it will be fucked up. The 8th girl is an extremely earnest and inexperienced girl who always had a dream to find true love due to being sickly for most of her youth. After being freed from her confinement in the hospital she spends her days as a Gym trainer trying to be healthy and helping other people be healthy. Her personality is extremely earnest and pure, her thoughts and feelings are genuine, she isn’t as sexualized by the author as to signify that the relationship her and Minamoto-kun are building is real. Because of Minamoto she steps out of her boundaries and does things like experience different things with her new boyfriend like going shopping and going to cafes and eventually there is this really cute scene where she shows up in front of him wearing a dress! Whats significant about that is when she does, she had completely done it wrong. She was wearing a sports bra under her dress and wearing sneakers along with it too, it was really silly looking - but that itself is a testament to how earnest and inexperienced she is but also how much she truly loves Minamoto - that she is able to experience new things and try new things even on her own. I really like this 8th girl so far and I wish the manga could just be centered around them from now on but I know that won’t happen, there are 6 more girls to be discovered and honestly its pretty depressing.

I’m gonna share the page where she’s wearing the dress because honestly my heart can’t take it.

[sunlit-helix]

learning how computers work again. Very long post about CPU research for a workstation.

since im rambling about computers im typing out my thought process and maybe ill link it to a few nerds to see if my conclusions make sense or not.

Purposes for building my computer as a workstation:

Primary Goals: Efficiency at 3D rendering. Primarily using C4D, but in the long run, probably Blender. 4K footage processing.

Secondary Goals: Efficient in Adobe suite. Primarily After effects, Premiere, Media encoder.

Tertiary goals: Gaming.

My first question was: Should I render using my CPU or my GPU? Several quick google searches told me the choice did not matter much, it was mostly project dependent. Well I already have a decent GPU in my gtx 970, so let’s put off buying a new video card for now, and get a really good processor

Second question is:Single-Core or Multi-Core focus?

I read two articles. this one and this one

They both give CPU recommendations based on different factors. I learned something important, some processors are better at editing and gaming, and others are better at rendering and exporting. Basically, some processors are better at doing one thing really well(single-core speed), while others are better at doing lots of things somewhat well (multi-core speed).

I compared CPU’s by cinebench score. I use Cinema 4D for most of my rendering, so using a benchmark for telling me how fast something is in the program I use? pretty good. These are the charts I stared at for 27 years.

The articles I read suggested getting processors that are high end in both single core and multicore, so they’re just generally good at both things. Well, trouble is, those are really expensive. Processors that prioritize just one or the other are a bit cheaper, funny enough.

So for options under $1,000 I was deciding between the i9-9900k and the Threadripper 2950x, along with the other threadrippers. This took a long time to decide. the i9 is about $500 while the threadripper is $800. on paper the cinebench score is about 1,000 points higher, which about 38% higher. It took me some research to find out if that actually means it’s 38% faster at rendering and it turns out that’s true. But the ‘proof’ is a little shaky, I watched this video (x) with very few views, but actually watching the benchmark as it’s happening is convincing enough. If I’m going to be rendering videos in 4K I like, 40% is big. that’s the difference between a project taking 10 hours and 14 hours. 20 hours and 28 hours.

Here’s where things get a little more subjective.

The stats didn’t totally convince me. I mean, i can render 3D images out as PNG sequences, meaning that I can render a bunch of images overnight, and if it’s not done, I can use the computer during the day, and start rendering where I left off the night before. Having a computer that’s fast at rendering isn’t *Super* important for just rendering.

Likewise, Having a desktop that’s super good at single core either isn’t the most important thing ever. every 3d modelling program has ‘subdivision surfaces’ meaning that you can preview and edit models at lower resolution and render them at higher ones than the ones you’re editing. I could see having a good single core processing being good at sculpting and certain simulations, but... I hate sculpting. I hate character design in 3D in general. rotopology fucking sucks.

But one thing I remembered is that you are constantly rendering things as you’re editing them, while adjusting lighting and shaders. Having a better processor for rendering is going to massively speed up the workflow, not just the exporting and rendering process. 

Also, I’ve been... pretty content with the speed of editing -not rendering- in general with my 3D programs. Sometimes my scenes get too complicated but I can usually tell you why and adjust my viewport, and hide objects to compensate. So let me think, if I’m pretty content with the speed already, what’s the point of getting something spectacularly good?

Let’s compare single core Speed, AKA speed of editing, not rendering, using Cinebench scores.

The average score of the processor I’m currently using for editing, the  i5-6300HQ, is 131

The speed of the threadripper 179

The score of the I9 is 218

So whatever I pick, It’s going to be faster. And not constrained to a shitty laptop.

Meanwhile, Let’s compare the scores for multi-core processing.

the i5, my laptop, is about 466 

the i9 is about 2,000

the threadripper 2950x is about 3,200.

no matter what I get it’s a HUGE leap, but the threadripper is an even bigger leap over the i9. So if my issue is rendering, then this solves that issue. Still funny though, the I9 is far from a bad choice, it is after all, 4x faster than my current renderer. But it’s also not 6x faster. It is $300 cheaper though.

And for single core rendering, the difference between 179 and 218 isn’t huge. It’s not minor either, but it’s not nearly as big as the difference in rendering.

So I go back to my original goals. I want a computer to render out 4K footage so I don’t have to rent a render farm, or at least don’t have to do it that much. I don’t want to skimp out on computer parts, but I want things to be within a decent budget to. Waiting till I have the money to get the thread ripper makes the most sense.

BUT WAIT, I JUST SAW A REDDIT COMMENT. it says that it makes more sense to get a good video card than a processor. Well, I thought I solved that problem but I couldn’t find a good benchmark, so let’s research it again. I searched around a bit and finally found a benchmark that can compare CPU’s to GPU’s for rendering. Let’s figure this out once and for all. (article here)

VRAY PROCESSOR SCORES

Vray Video card scores.

I wish that these had prices listed next to them but basically heres my interpretation.

The threadripper 2950x is $800, and renders the benchmark in 40 seconds

the the cards that come close are the 2080TI and the TITAN XP which are both well over $1000.

The cards that beat it are 2 1080 TI’s which together will be over $1,500 and the titan V which is like over $2,000.

So my conclusion is, then, this processor about as good as all these cards but at a significantly cheaper price. This allows me to skip buying a good video card, and instead I’ll just put the 970 thats in my current laptop into my new computer. And in terms of gaming? This thing has been bottle necked by my decade-old processor the AMD phenom 2 x4 black edition that’s even worse than my laptop processor. I’m going to get a performance boost just by having my GPU free from a shitty processor.

Also while researching I just found out there is a benchmark site for blender, and it lists two gtx 970′s as having a time of 39 seconds which is really close to the thread ripper. So I suppose, then, an option would be to get a worse processor and another 970, but running two GPU’s has it’s own problems isn’t significantly cheaper than just getting one processor to handle the problems. Most games don’t take advantage of two video cards, many rendering programs only use the CPU and not the GPU. I haven’t done much research but I’m fairly sure having two video cards wouldn’t help render anything in media encoder/after effects any better. Having a better processor has more versatility than having two video cards, if they have the same speed. At least, that’s my conclusion for now, I haven’t found anything to prove otherwise.

Lastly, I’ve some research told me that adobe doesn’t support AMD processors as well as intel. this could be an issue since I’ll be putting everything through after effects and then exporting in media encoder, and maybe using premiere. So I looked up some benchmarks on that.

Seems fine to me.

Perhaps this amount of research has been overkill but It’s what I need to do to justify spending this much money on something. It’s worth researching because your individual needs might not be the same as everyone elses. I think the 2950x is my best option for rendering right now while still being good at single core stuff even if it’s not the “best” it’s still good.

It does mean the build will be more expensive though, so I’m still expecting to wait at least 4 more months savings before I build this machine.

I still have to research motherboards, Psu’s, ram, those PCI storage cards that are apparently faster than SSD’s and cheaper. I have a case picked out but since those are largely subjective I don’t like, have to decide on one yet either.

If you bothered to read this, thanks for reading and let me know if my reasoning is alright or bad!

[aximili]

For your OCs (you can choose whoever you want): 2, 3, 7, 11, 16, 17, 28, 30, 31, 34, 35, 39, 40. For you: A, B, D, E, G, H

omg thats a LOT so ill just do one person!! uhhhhhh how bout that Piers

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

he laughs a lot but he’s not often actually amused... it’s more to give the impression that he’s at ease. he’s never at ease, & doesn’t find much funny. 

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

definitely reading, he’s one of those people who will fight god over his inability to read everything ever written before his time on earth is done. 

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

the smell of mud & grass, fresh vegetables, quiet country roads, summer wind in your face... they make him think of where he grew up in the cotswolds. & no, he doesn’t enjoy it. he’s not comfortable with having the origin story of a country bumpkin, he finds it very gauche; it’s not the persona he’s trying to create.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

depends on the context. alone, eg in academic writing? seek clarification. he hates not knowing things. in social situations? pretend he understands until he does. he never wants to have to ask. 

What makes their stomach turn?

sentimentality, & emotional displays. like, people who can’t be cynical and aloof about everything? cringe. 

Are they easily embarrassed?

not really, as in like, he’s good at never having a situation seem embarrassing for him? he’s a v natural leader and always acts as if he’s the one setting the norm, and other people do kinda fold to that. so if he like, tripped over, it would immediately become awkward for anyone who laughed, because he could be hurt, like what the hell. but if it was the other way around, he’d laugh at them, in the spirit of friendship. total double standards.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

wow, talk about things his entire character is about haha... absolutely a lie. piers doesn’t settle for unpleasant truths, he’ll do whatever he can to make it so that the truth is what’s easiest for him.

Who do they most regret meeting?

B L A S lmao. tfw u become obsessed w someone, accidentally cause their death, then realise afterwards that you may in fact have fucked up pretty bad

Who are they the most glad to have met?

at the start of the book, at least? sol! he feels like he can use her to wipe away his guilt for blas, both literally (as in, misdirect her enough that he doesn’t seem at all suspicious) and emotionally (as in, make a new start and be a positive influence on her in place of her brother. unfortunately, he still has a twisted perspective on how to be a positive influence on someone). 

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 

fake it til you make it baby...... lmao he tries but it’s always there, probably because he’ll never confront it bc that would mean facing up to what he’s done and who he’s become as a person. 

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

almost always! on the surface, at least. he needs to seem like a supportive pillar. the things he secretly thinks are lame, though? he’ll chip away at those. like, he’s always making offhand mean-spirited & dismissive comments about ari’s fields of expertise, mainly because he doesn’t like that they’re much more intelligent than him, and he doesn’t want them to know they have that power. fortunately, ari has an ego of steel & cannot be manipulated! 

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

all he SEES is flaws in other people tbh.... if he learnt to just whole-heartedly value the good stuff about others, like most people manage to, maybe he’d be a nice boy 

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

tbh, piers is emotionally intelligent enough to know he has them. he knows, very deep down, that he’s a fucked up person who doesn’t treat others well. he just feels in too deep at this point, though? he’s been faking who he is for so long, he has no idea who the authentic him is, what would be left if you stripped away all the cynicism and left real feelings. .....god that sounds edgelordy when i put it like that. 

A) Why are you excited about this character?

what i mainly want him to do in the story is be a moral lesson about never trusting guys who treat you like he treats sol, and i feel like... so many YA books out there are unhealthy het romance focused and i really want this to be a rug-pull on that. i just really hope it’s effective. 

B) What inspired you to create them?

omg.... geez, let me think back.... originally, he was a dangan ronpa fan character (well, he remained one for a while lol), and female, and nice. she was a very chilled-out, new agey type, a source of wisdom and calm. he became male when i realised the cast wasn’t quite gender-balanced, and stayed that way since (he really couldn’t not be male, how he is now...). i thought it’d be a great twist for the end of the fangan ronpa for him to suddenly snap and reveal the stress of being the calm one had finally gotten to him. a few more iterations happened, for a while he was very much the secretly eeeevil one, and like... i guess he kinda still is, but i wasn’t happy w that, like, real people aren’t like that, and it would seem a cheap twist. so now he’s more like... the type of person who lowkey bullies his friends and enjoys the benefits of it, combined with the ego of being told he’s very intelligent, plus the typical white male brand of world-weary cynicism that can only result from never having had any real problems. 

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

he’s always had long blonde hair, and that’s definitely a character staple i couldn’t get rid of! however, he used to dress super feminine - essentially because, of course, he was originally a girl and i saw no reason to change the design. it was only later on that i realised like... i’m not at all comfy with my villain being a man who dresses like a woman. that doesn’t sit remotely ok, regardless of its innocent origins. now he dresses much more like a nerdy posh fuckboy, and it suits him better.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

omg its easy to say NOOO but honestly? i can’t pretend he isn’t based a little bit on an amalgamation of cis guys i’ve known who have these emotionally manipulative tendencies hidden underneath a charming nerd persona, so i guess i could certainly see us becoming initial friends. hopefully, tho, i’d see sense and dump him eventually. and nah, he would definitely think i’m pathetic lol 

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

fdjkjkdksdhkfjhsdj uh..... the murderin bit. well, i guess the most disturbing part of his personality, to me objectively, is, yeah, seeing troubled people as potential experiments. being someone’s token mentally ill friend in various ways is bad enough, i can’t imagine how fucked up i’d feel if i found out someone was trying to manipulate me to get worse in the brain. 

H) What trait do you admire most?

i wish i could read as much & be as devoted to my studies..... lol

[rpchive]

106th Encounter-- Honesty’s Policy

character development is all over everywhere!

Collin quietly walks down the hallway of the IT, glancing around as he looks for a new door that leads to Azreldeh's room. There is a door in across the hall from Maya's to a room that hadn't been there before. Stopping in front of it, he takes a deep breath and then reaches out to the door. He hesitates for a split second and then knocks a couple of times, waiting for a response. The door opens itself to a room with dark, red walls and darker wooden floors that are a mix between brown and gray. Floating within the room are various objects: a massive, ornate hourglass with silver sand that seems to be flowing in the opposite direction; a cuckoo clock thats hands seem to endlessly run backwards, the bird constantly coming in and out without making any chiming chirps; varying sheathed swords, daggers, dirks, and sais of varying sizes, colors, shapes, and ages; a massive, dark chair that seems to be carved of obsidian, the seat cushion and backing lined with some sort of red material that looks incredibly inviting, however the top of the chair has the head of a dragon carved into it, two green jewels staring blindly into eternity that seem to give quite the opposite effect; many books and scrolls that seem to be rather old, yet well taken care of; and several bottles, vials, and flasks of entirely unidentifiable contents.

Seated at the back of the room, her back against the wall, head to her knees, tail curled around her, and wings shielding her from view, Azreldeh makes no effort to greet or look upon whoever has entered her room.

Azreldeh’s room is full of some really questionable shit and nobody knows where the fuck any of it came from or why it’s there, let alone if any of it belongs to her

Collin's eyes dart around the room as he tries to adjust to the strange atmosphere. He finally tears himself away from the room as he looks back to Azreldeh, then clears his throat before speaking. "Uh... hey. Is this a bad time?" Azreldeh: ...Depends on how you look at it, I guess... Collin: I'm... not sure what that means, but... I just wanted to apologize about how I treated you. You didn't deserve that.

she might be talking about the state of the room. or the capabilities of the contents

Azreldeh: Why not? I'm a demon, aren't I? We can only do bad things; we're just dangerous to everybody... Collin: That's not true. Fawkes told me about what you used to do after that time we got dumped on that weird island. It might be the most, uh... "moral" method, but you've always tried to help where you could. Azreldeh: I don't know. I spent my whole life killing people for the good of others; suddenly I'm in a situation where I shouldn't do that, so I tried not to, but it still ended in a bad reputation. This is probably why most demons don't help people...even what we consider good is too reckless or questionable by your standards... Collin: It... didn't have the ideal side effects, I'll admit, but it was the safest, fastest way out of there now that I'm looking back at it. I realized that I'm not mad about what happened, I'm... scared. Having Hod be with Rio like that makes her just as much of a target for Lobotomy as Maya, and the thought of what they might do to her if they found out what happened terrifies me. I took that out on you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. Honestly things would probably be even worse if you hadn't teleported us out of there, and we all owe you for that. Drawing her wings back a bit, Azreldeh sits upright finally.

"...Not when, but if Lobotomy has the nerve to even try to find Hod or Rio, them getting caught would be the worst thing that could happen, but only for them; so you have every right to be scared. Hod's seen a Sephirah be dismantled for their...resistance. Lobotomy is just as kind to their "equipment" as it is to their employees; and that's all I'll really say about that. That being said; with Hod's body dysfunctional, Lobotomy has no way of tracking us, assuming Maya truly destroyed her old armband. The suits and weapons are so expendable that Lobotomy never bothered to rig them, but since the armbands are for clearance; rank; and status; they're made to be more...all around useful to both parties." Collin: I don't see why Maya would've kept something like that, but I can check with her later. Right now I just... wanted to apologize to you. You had the best solution to the problem, even with the side effects, and I didn't appreciate you for it. Azreldeh: Jeez, I'm not used to you saying nice stuff to me. Sure you didn't hit your head on the way over? Collin: I'm pretty sure. I'm not just an illlusion or something either, promise. If there's any way I can make this up to you, just let me know, alright? A sly smile spreads across Azreldeh's face as she finally relaxes. "Oh, I'm sure I can think of something~." Collin turns slightly red at the expression. "H-Hey, don't look at me like that." Azreldeh: Now that's more like the Collin I know! Heheh. Collin: Good grief... I guess I had that one coming, though. Azreldeh: Hmm...well, if you really want to try and make it up to me, we should go on a date or something at least. Unless your boyfriend would get jealous... A brief moment of silence passes as Collin tries to process her words. "... W-Wait, are you being serious?" Azreldeh: ...Did you think I was joking this whole time? Collin: Well yeah, you've flirted with at least half the IT at this point! I just thought it was something you did to catch people off guard or something! Azreldeh: Haha! Well, yeah, but I mean it sometimes...! Collin: I'm... uh, not sure what to say? If you're serious about this, I... I'll need to talk with Jay about this. I'm not going to do anything that's going to hurt him. Azreldeh: Happy to hear you're considering it! ...The date, not hurting your partner. Collin: W-Well, I do owe you after what I did. Although if Jay doesn't want me to do this, you're going to have to pick something else. Azreldeh: That's fine with me! Collin: Alright, uh... I guess I'll go talk with him, and I'll let you know what we decide. From there I guess we'll... make plans? I don't really know how this works... Azreldeh: Don't worry; I'll take care of that stuff. You just worry about your guy. Collin: Alright, well... I'll go see if he's busy, I guess. Is there anything else you wanted before I go?

Azreldeh: Not that I can think of...but thanks for saying all that. I don't know what I would've done if you all hated me or something; I can't get back home when I'm like this, after all. Collin: I don't think anyone hates you, don't worry. Although you probably shouldn't dangle people out of airships from now on, alright? Azreldeh: I doubt we'll be on any more of those, but I'll keep it in mind. Collin nods and gives a slightly awkward wave as he turns back and exits Azreldeh's room, already lost in thought.

more like lost in thot

Standing outside of Daedalus' room, Clair reaches for the door several times, retracting her arm back to her side or placing her hand on her cheek as she debates knocking or simply trying to go in over and over. Dragging both hands down her face, she takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and quickly knocks on the door; letting out a long sigh as she opens her eyes and waits. A muffled voice from somewhere further in the room answers the knock. "Hang on a second!" 

A minute or so passes, filled with the sounds of things being moved or set down. Finally Daedalus opens the door, adjusting the sunglasses back on his face. "Alright, what do you- Oh, uh, hey. Everything alright?" Clair: Um, well, I was gonna ask you that, actually. You just kinda walked off yesterday... Daedalus: Oh, yeah, yesterday... kinda sucked, frankly, but at least we didn't have to meet that Angela chick. I haven't had a bad gut feeling about someone like that in a long time. Uh, did you want to come in?

I mean, in the long run he still has every right to be concerned, but I really don’t know what Bad Thing you[x2] were expecting? you’re legitimately gonna have to look through every single abnormality and tell me what’s up

Clair: Um, sure; if you don't mind... Daedalus: Yeah, it's fine. Sorry, hospitality isn't exactly my strong suit. Also, pardon the mess.

He opens the door wider for her to come inside. Half of his room now looks more like a workshop than a bedroom. A couple of partially finished weapons lie on racks, along with a large array of tools. A suit of armor rests on a mounted stand, vaguely resembling a suit of knight's armor but significantly slimmed down and modernized with some strange mesh-like accents around the chest plate.

Closer to the doorway is a more inviting living space area, separated from the rest of the room by a small pair of shelves filled with various cases for movies, music, and games. A single couch faces a television, a coffee table covered with the empty plates from a couple of meals sitting between them. Opposite of that is another room that appears to be a bedroom with an attached closet and bathroom area, although the room isn't as visible from the doorway. Entering the room, Clair looks around curiously. "...I thought you were just working on a sheath for the stagblade this whole time, but it looks like you've been making a lot of other stuff too..." Daedalus: The stagblade was more of a hobby project. After Oz went stab-happy on my torso, I realized that I desperately needed some better protection when I'm out dealing with whatever gets thrown our way. I only just got the base finished, but I still need to do some detail work and stuff. It'll work, but it ain't pretty. Clair: But where did you even learn how to make all this? There's a difference between "I know how to metalwork from our old hobbies" and "I just made a suit of armor 'cause I sang a bunch for a while..." Daedalus: It's not just singing... although that just makes it weirder, I guess. I don't know, things have just been weird for me ever since I first magicked up that fire or whatever. It's completely foreign to me, but it's also like something is, I don't know, guiding me? I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that Collin was all sorts of weird when Demo brought me back through him. Maybe I inherited some memories from one of those gods or something? It kinda makes me nervous to think about, so I haven't really spent much time focusing on it.

But uh, you didn't come here to talk about that, sorry. I'm getting off on a tangent.

He steps over to the couch and sits down on one end, turning his body to rest his back against the arm rest and face both her and the other end of the couch.

"Here, you can sit if you want. I'd take a separate chair if I had one, but I never really expected company." Sitting on the opposite end of the couch, Clair glances away for a moment as she quietly mumbles "Right..." before circling back to the original topic. "...So you're doing okay after having to...?" Daedalus: I'm... alright now. It had to be done, I don't regret it or anything. I just really hope this doesn't become a trend for me or something. Doing that kind of thing feels... actually I don't really know how to describe it. The old me never felt this way about anything, so it's sort of a foreign feeling to me.

don’t hurt my son or I’ll rip off your other leg

I say as if I don’t know about the next like...10 logs

Clair: ...I guess I'm just worried about you. I understand the circumstances for why you were the way you were back then were different, but since you were brought here in such a weird way, I just...I never know what's gonna happen with you. Jay and Collin always have some kind of weird stuff happening to them because of what they are, or were, or how they got that way, so why would you be different? I doubt anyone would be trying to hurt you, but what's saying that something else won't happen? Daedalus: ... I don't know. I don't feel wrong right now, but it doesn't feel normal either. I couldn't do any of this stuff before now, and I'm not sure if it stops here or if something else is going to happen too. I mean, let's be real here, given the trend on this old vending machine, I'm probably long overdue for some crazy thing to happen to me. I feel like I've been given a blank check after all the things I did before, and it feels... wrong, like karma's being too nice to me or something. Clair: But you weren't doing any of that because you wanted to! You getting punished now would be like blaming Zenith for all the things my dad made Alzedeth do; it just...it doesn't work like that...

She glances back down to the floor. "You didn't hurt anybody..." Daedalus: I'm... not so sure about that. I feel like I've hurt you more than anyone right now. Honestly I'm surprised you're even talking with me still. Clair: ...It had to be done. Taking Alzedeth with us wouldn't have brought back Zenith's soul; and if we'd left him with Lobotomy, there's no telling what he would've done, or how many other people he would've killed trying to find his way back to OZ or myself...I can't blame you. There is a brief pause as Daedalus takes a deep breath. "I guess that's fair. So what about you? I know I've got my own weird stuff going on right now, but you haven't exactly had an easy time either." Clair: ...I...think you guys had a point. I shouldn't be so obsessed with trying to get Zenith back. It's just...hard. Our family was so terrible to us, and then, when Zenith was kind of a person again, I barely got to spend any time with him before our parents took him away from me for good. Now I don't even know what I am and I don't have anything left...but I can't let it stay that way. I'm gonna find a reason to keep going; I'll figure out what I am, what I can do, what all of this means for me, and I'll bring an end to everybody trying to do anything like what my parents did. I won't let anybody suffer like us again...

I wish I could do those cool aesthetic graphics with the pretty typeface panels of character lines because I would make such a good Clair one tbh

Daedalus: ... Always full of surprises. You really are as tough as they come, y'know? I'm glad to hear you say that though. You fit right in around here. Clair: I hate to say it, but I think the first step to doing the right thing is getting Hod to help us bring down Lobotomy. Getting near them with Rio and Hod will be risky; but after everything they've done, we can't just let them off the hook because they're dangerous. We're dangerous too... Daedalus blinks once, although his sunglasses just make it seem like a brief stare. "Wow, there you go again with the surprise thing. I don't entirely disagree, but you don't even know what you can do. Should you really be tackling something like Lobotomy as your starting point?" Clair: W-well, not now! Hod's still in no condition to help without a body of her own; so until XL can figure out what to do with her, I'll just...figure myself out! Daedalus: And what's your plan for that, exactly? Have you tried anything yet? Clair: Well, no...I was gonna talk to Jay and Karumet about it since they know how kleivenn stuff works... Daedalus: Not a bad idea. I doubt using kleivenn magic is as simple as thinking happy thoughts or something. Clair: I have no idea. I've never used any kind of magic before...but what about you? Are you trying to figure out what's up with you too? Daedalus: If you're talking about the fire thing, it's... strange. It only happens when I get in the proper state for it. I have to be mad enough, determined enough, focused on what I want and nothing else. It's this feeling like I have a magma chamber in my gut, and it channels through the rest of me as I need it. I decide I want to do something, and I just kind of... will the tool that can do that to appear in my hands. Honestly every time it happens, it feels like I'm flying by the seat of my pants on a raging bull born from a bonfire, but it's worked out so far? Clair: I'm not totally sure what that last part means, but are you sure it's safe to be doing it this often? Daedalus: Sorry, metaphors aren't my strong point I guess. I don't think it's "dangerous"; I always feel like I'm in control, it's just like an... adrenaline rush or something. It's hard to describe, but maybe you'll know what I mean when you figure out your own stuff. The worst thing that's ever happened after I do that is when I hit my limit or whatever and just sorta... crash. Luckily it hasn't happened when I was in danger afterwards, so I guess I just need to get better at reigning myself in or something. Clair: Well, as long as you're alright, I guess it doesn't matter much... Daedalus: C'mon, I'm not that fragile. I've dealt with way worse than getting a little tired. Why are you always so worried about me? Clair: W-well, that's what friends and stuff do, right? Daedalus: Beats me, you're arguably the first person to ever be nice to me out the gate. Guess it helps that you missed my shittier years... Clair: All the more reason to keep being nice, then! Daedalus: Sheesh, I'd say you're too nice to me. Makin' me feel bad, here. Clair: I mean, if you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so... Daedalus: Woah, hey, don't start reading me the wrong way. You're the only- I mean, you make this- uh...

He coughs and then clears his throat for a second, fixing his sunglasses back in place afterwards. "I'm just messing with you. You're fine, don't worry about it." Clair: Heheh, if you say so. Daedalus: What? What's so funny? Clair: You. You're ridiculous. Daedalus: What's that supposed to mean? Clair: You're just funny is all. Sometimes. Daedalus: Sometimes? Now that's just insulting. I'm always funny, thank you kindly. Clair: Well, you're funny 'til you're serious, at least! Daedalus: I'll accept that.

He scratches the back of his head for a second. "It... is clear that I'm joking right now, right? I know I had a bit of an ego before, but..." Clair: Whoa, are you getting embarrassed? That's a first, haha! But yeah, I know. Daedalus: You've given me a lot of firsts, frankly. Maybe that's your kleivenn power?

I’ll be blunt, Dair’s probably my favorite ship in the series. they’re really cute together

Clair: What, to be first for everything? No way; I'm pretty sure Sanglied lives in the kitchen, 'cause I've never beaten them to getting breakfast. Daedalus: I don't know what Sanglied is, but I've seen them do things with food that I don't think mortals were meant to witness. Clair: Maybe they're a black hole. Daedalus: Yeah, but only for pancakes and watermelon. Clair: Hey, all food's gotta go somewhere. Daedalus: I guess so. Was anything else on your mind? I'm not trying to dodge questions, I promise. al Clair: Um, not really...I've pretty much voiced everything I was thinking about. Daedalus: Alright, good. I just wanted to make sure. I'm glad you stopped by, honestly. I was afraid you might not want to talk anymore after, well... Clair: No, I couldn't get mad at you for that...I'm trying not to think about it too much, but like I said earlier, you guys were right, it was really just all that could be done...doesn't mean I have to /like/ it, but I can't just keep feeling angry and sad about everything... Daedalus: Very true... Well, you should probably go find Jay or Karumet since there aren't any fires at the moment. Never know when the next thing is gonna hit the fan. If you need help with practicing your magical shenanigans or whatever, just let me know, alright? It's the least I can do for you. Clair: Um, yeah, okay! Thanks for having this talk. I guess we both had a lot to say.

Getting up from the couch, Clair leaves the room. Daedalus takes off his sunglasses and sets them on the cushion, then covers his face with his hands for a second as he lets out a sigh. "... I should really keep this room cleaner."

Collin walks up to XL's door and pauses for a moment to push his thoughts about earlier aside before he knocks a few times. XL: "The door's unlocked; feel free to come in!" Collin steps inside at the invitation. "Sorry, it feels weird to just walk in." Rio is seated in the back of XL's room, while XL is seated beside Hod's body , which is currently occupying XL's bed. Occasionally, XL will get up to retrieve yet another tool to cautiously examine the body with. Collin: So uh, how're things going in here? XL: The construction of any sort of artificial lifeform of this grade and caliber is so incredibly illegal I have no idea where to start. Collin: Sounds about right for Lobotomy then, huh? How about you, Rio? You and Hod doing alright? Hod: I'm doing fine. Er, so is Rio... I'm really sorry about suddenly being here...I probably would've asked if I'd had the choice. Collin: It's not your fault, don't worry. I'm just glad everyone got out okay. Or, well... as close okay as you can get, in your case. XL: The implications of something like this existing are incredibly immoral. This is beyond standard android structure; this is damn near--...do...do you know how you were made?

Hod: I...know enough to know I'd rather not; I'll put it that way. Collin: I'm not exactly liking the way you're making it sound either. Do you think you can fix it? XL: It would be an incredibly delicate and intricate process; it could even take me years.

Hod: This is why A dimantled us so frequently. It was easier to just...transfer us to something new instead of repairing something old. But anything new would be exactly the same... Collin: Wait, this happened frequently for you? And they'd just... swap the entire thing out like a battery? Hod: Not...for me, but I was...scheduled recently...but another Sephirah I was close with was...opted in due to...well, due to participating in recreational activities the facility deemed unfit for his person. They made me watch before they scheduled me for the same reason... Collin: ... This "dismantling" isn't just moving you to a new unit, is it? Hod: No; when the facility deems a Sephirah's body unfit for its contents, they dismantle it while the Sephirah is present, then remove the AI and give them a new body. They told us it was because there was no other way to relocate an AI integrated with such complicated systems...clearly they were lying just to hurt us

cannocly they just smash it in a hydraulic press sort of thing and fish out the human bits so they can place what’s left in a new construct, but in this AU of mine it’s a lot more of a process and less “SMASH THIS HUMANOID THING AND SCOOP THE MEAT PASTE”

XL: ...We're gonna tear that place apart from the inside out, right? Collin: Brick by fucking brick. I'm so sorry, Hod. We're not going to let them hurt you ever again. Hod: ...All you'd need to do is get to A. You wouldn't need to get through any abnormalities or anything; once he's out of the picture, Lobotomy will fall apart on it's own...but the abnormalities will breach...and once they reach the surface, that world will be destroyed. Collin: ... Well that sounded easy right up until that last part. Shit, what are we gonna do? Hod: Only a Sephirah would be able to hold them in A's absence...but with A dead, no Sephirah would be functioning. Collin: Geez, is there any good news? XL: ...There is. Even if I can't fix your body, I know who can. Asra Nox is the most talented, intelligent outlaw the galaxy's ever seen; if she couldn't fix something like this, we would have to hand your body over to the avali. Undoubtedly, they could fix it, but legally, we would be in an uncomfortable position, and they would almost definitely turn us down once they saw what your body was like...Almiet, on the other hand, would probably welcome the challenge, and say that "laws are meant to be broken for the good of others," or something.

Asra’s last name is Nox but saying Asra by itself just sounds like Raven got halfway through a spell, so I often find myself trying to say the whole thing all the time regardless

Hod: But why would you risk getting arrested for me?

XL: The galaxy I come from kind of owes all of us a favor for bringing an end to a massive war. I think they would let it slide if we got caught, though they'd probably start grouping us with Almiet...as they should, we wouldn't even be on this ship if we hadn't sided with her. Collin: And even if we didn't have that working in our favor, helping people like you get away from places like that is pretty much our standard practice. Rio: ...So, in theory, we have a way to bring down A and Lobotomy, and a functioning Sephirah body; but we still need an AI to keep all the abnormalities underground...and then what? Then we'd just have another incredibly dangerous facility run by a singular, incredibly powerful AI; would that really be the best option? What happens if they get bored; or break down; or get angry? What if they get too curious for their own good?

Hod: Unless you have a way to kill multiple things with the strength of gods simultaneously, you won't be able to stop all the abnormalities... Collin: I mean... we have gods, but I don't think they're as strong as they used to be. This is gonna be a real can of worms, isn't it? I think this place has actually taken Aperture's title of "worst lab ever". Hod: ...There has to be something we can do...we can't just leave Lobotomy as it is... Collin takes a deep breath. ”We... We can probably deal with the abnormalities if we have to. Between all of us, we should have enough power to deal with anything that comes our way." Hod: B-but you could die...! And if you underestimate anything...!

Rio: We couldn't! We have you here, after all. There can't be any surprises if we know what we're expecting...you can help us, so we can actually help everybody!

Hod: ...Y-yeah, I guess you're right! Okay, I'll...I'll tell you what I can. I'm sure Maya can help too; she's...had some experience. Collin: Assuming she'll come with us, she'll definitely be a huge help with this. Hod: If you can pull this off, it would be absolutely incredible! But the other Sephirahs...

XL: ...Let's just try to take this one step at a time. First, your body.

Hod: ...Yeah. Collin: Yeah, sorry. I was getting us a little too far ahead. So we gotta ring up Asra again, huh? XL: Absolutely. I'm sure she's got some highly illegal technology scrapped together from apex and avali parts that could easily handle this in a convenient timespan. Collin: Alright. Well, I should get out of the way for now. I've uh, got some other stuff to deal with before things get too crazy. Rio: Oh, okay! We'll see you later, then! Collin waves and then steps back out into the hall and heads back to his room.

okay so I forgot this log was just talkies, next log we start to fix Hod and progress some Story Stuff!