pinkopalina · 2 years ago
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extremely rare shots of.... someone's? bedroom in beavis and butt-head's house
#this episode is weird because butt-head mentions having a relationship with his dad here#but then in the movie it's clear he doesn't recognize his dad#butt-head does passingly mention it's possible he and beavis have the same dad but i think its just a continuity error since#it's such an early epiosde and i don't think they were super fleshed out yet#plus the movie does say the boys are genetic matches for their dads so they do have different moms and dads#also butt-head could be. lying?#i just really hate how they keep implying beavis and butt-head mihht be related#like in this book sucks there is a family tree that implies they might be related but i really think it's just a silly joke#since beavis' mom looks like butt-head and butt-head's mom looks like beavis in that book#also the book says beavis' ''mom'' who looks like butt-head is also the child of the person she might have reproduced with#aka they're saying beavis' mom might have had beavis with her dad 🤮#sooooooooo uhhhhhh BLECH i think it's just a bad joke?#like something mike tossed in to be like this is really silly and i'm against giving them too much backstory so i'm gonna -#-throw out something really weird and obviously wrong#well anyways to my knowledge the book isnt canon anyways bc it was written by someone else#even if created by mike#and the movie - again which ill take over more canon than early unfleshed episodes and dubiously canon books -#confirmed they were genetic matches for their dads that we see and we know they have different moms#just by way of them talking about them#sorry for the tag essay but i thought itd be weird if i didnt acknowledge it#tl;dr old episodes don't count in terms of backstory that had been corrected later and b/bh are confirmed NOT RELATED!!!!#so annoying i wish mike judge would just say it but i dont think he'd have them go through all the gay shit they do#if he honestly intended for them to be interpretted as related#maybe thats why mike doesnt really wanna release the first like three seasons on dvd#it seems like it would just be opening a huge can of worms#especially since they were a lot more raunchy in the beginning LOL
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statusquoergo · 8 years ago
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Here's the thing, I've got a silly prompt, but I kinda feel like you prefer more serious ones? But I'm still going to deliver it so that you can do something about it (or not) with your talent. So I pictured Mike and Harvey working together in season 7, and Mike is stuck with Ed Sheeran song "Shape Of You" for ages. And Harvey can take it anymore. It becomes a thing for Mike, to drive Harvey nuts with the song. Until somehow they got in very embarrasing situation because of that. Feels happen.
Read on AO3
How do you spell “extortion,” anyway? E-x-t-o-r-t?E-x-t-o-r-s? It’s basic knowledge, grade-school stuff, and Harvey definitelyknew when he started reading this fucking document, but seven eight nine hoursstaring at the same sentences over and over and over have that sort of warpingeffect, especially at—Harvey glances at the clock—one AM, holy shit, when didthat happen?
Once more. He’ll read it through once more, top tobottom, and head out for the night.
Mike taps his pen rhythmically against his thigh; one two, three one two, three one two, three,and that’s gotta be a song stuck in his head but Harvey doesn’t know which one.
“This guy’s jerking us around,” Mike mutters, and Harveygrits his teeth.
“No kidding,” he says, narrowing his eyes, “but we’dbetter figure out how before we ask him or we’ll never get the truth.”
Yeah. Yeah, that.
Mike will get it, it’s fine.
He’s about halfway through the file when Mike startstapping the pen again, and he doesn’t seem to notice when he starts humming,too; Harvey recognizes the song now, even if he can’t place the name.
This is going nowhere fast.
“Go home,” he says, closing the file and shoving it intoa file underneath his desk. “Hopefully one of us has an epiphany on the way intomorrow morning.”
Mike looks up at him blearily, arching his back andstretching his arms out in front of him.
“You got it, boss,” he teases, gathering his papers and justbarely keeping from knocking into Harvey’s coffee table as he stumbles towardthe door. He starts humming again as soon as he clears the obstacle course, andHarvey presses his eyes into his palms.
“And stop your goddamn humming.”
Mike tosses a two-fingered salute on his way out.
Sauntering in the front door at nine forty-five, Harveytakes a second to appreciate such freedoms afforded to name partners before heheads for Mike’s office. Poor kid’s probably been in for an hour already, hourand a half if he had trouble sleeping last night.
Knocking on the door, Harvey doesn’t wait for an answerbefore he opens it—but he really should have, because Mike isn’t just hummingto himself anymore; he’s graduated to quiet singing, and Harvey can’t make outthe words but he sees his lips moving and catches the musical tone.
“What’ve you got for me?” he asks loudly, finallycatching Mike’s attention as he looks up with a jerk of his neck and slightlywidened eyes.
“Ideas,” he replies promptly, “and…more ideas.”
Harvey sits across from him and raises his handsqueryingly, and Mike sighs through his teeth.
“There’s something rotten in this blackmail angle,” he complains,“but I cannot figure out what it is.”
“Maybe if you tried singing about it,” Harvey tauntsbefore he thinks better of it, and Mike smirks.
“Not without my backup dancers.”
Grinning, Harvey stands and knocks his knuckles againstMike’s desk.
“Let me know when you have your next brilliant flash ofinsight,” he says. “In the meantime, I’ll put Vanessa on it.”
Mike drops his head into his hands. “I’ve gotta get meone of those.”
“Alright, Commissioner.”
By three that afternoon, Mike has cobbled together enoughof a theory to start making probing phone calls, and from what little Vanessahas found so far, their conclusions seem to be lining up; when Harvey returnsto his office after a late lunch, Mike has left a stack of papers clippedtogether on top of his laptop with a blue highlighter placed carefully on thedesk beside.
The first page is a concise summary with page references(good boy), informing him that the best information will be on the fifth page,and sure enough, when Harvey flips to it, there’s a Post-It stuck to the topmargin.
“Who pays blackmail through a hospital fund?” Mike’srushed scrawl reads, which is certainly a point worth considering. Then,underneath, a little neater: “The club isn’t the best place to find a lover, sothe bar is where I go; me and my friends at the table doing shots, drinkingfast and then we talk slow.”
The tune begins ringing in his head immediately andHarvey rips the lower half off the Post-It, crumpling it in his fist andtossing it in the garbage.
That little fucker.
Of all things, why did it have to be a love song?
“Put Van the Man on the jukebox,” Mike declaresnonsensically, slapping a printout that looks like an email chain down onHarvey’s desk.
“Most people knock,” Harvey drawls, hoping Mike can’ttell that that damn song is suddenly stuck in his head for the third time today.“What’s this?”
“A conversation beginning exactly eleven months ago nextweek between our client Mister Jim Stone and the man he claims to beblackmailing him,” Mike stabs the paper, his eyes lighting up, “initiated by—”
“Stone,” Harvey interrupts, taking the paper and skimmingthe text. “Where’d you get this?”
“My new girl Penelope,” Mike says with a grin. “AnywayI’d say this is pretty damning evidence that the blackmail claim is bullshit.”
“And it only took a week to drag this up,” Harvey says.Leaning back in his chair, he purses his lips and raises his eyebrows. “Sowho’s Penelope? Someone special I should be getting to know?”
“Oh, don’t be jealous, Harvey,” Mike sing-songs, “youknow your love was handmade for somebody like me.”
“Get the fuck out of here,” Harvey chuckles, and Mikewalks backwards out of the office with a little swing in his hips.
Harvey pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. This isstarting to get out of hand.
Two days later, Mike and Harvey lurk in the hall as theylet Jim Stone and some assistant of his wait in Conference Room C, uncertain asto exactly why they’ve been called in and hopefully getting nervous. Flippingthrough an unrelated file, Mike tries to look busy in case Stone is watchingthem.
“You wanna be the good cop or the bad cop?” Mike asks,and Harvey scoffs.
“You really asking me that?”
Mike closes the file and bites down on a smirk. “We pushand pull like a magnet do,” he croons; Harvey smacks his shoulder and Mikelaughs.
“Come on, follow my lead.”
God help him, Harvey does, walking half a pace behindMike as they confront Mister Stone.
“Harvey,” Jim says, standing with a cocksure smile. “Iassume I’m here because you have good news?”
“If that’s what you want to call it,” Harvey returnsskeptically, brandishing a printout of the email chain. “How about you start bybeing up front with us about this?”
Harvey watches Jim rush to invent a plausible excuse ashe puffs up his chest and darts a gaze to his assistant; he hasn’t had to lie likethis in awhile, it seems.
Mike begins to hum.
Oh, no you don’t.
“He first contacted me by phone,” Jim says eventually,obviously under the impression that he’s coming across as some kind of smoothcustomer, and Mike stops humming as he rolls his eyes and the assistantscribbles something on a notepad.
“‘Mister Tennon,’” Mike recites, “‘my name is Jim Stone,and I believe I have a proposal which would be of mutual benefit to us if youwould be willing to further discuss the matter at a later date.’ Sounds like anintroduction to me, wouldn’t you say, Harvey?”
“I would,” Harvey agrees, “and frankly Jim, I don’t givea damn what you’re trying to cover up here unless it’s going to come around andbite me in the ass while I’m trying to mount your defense, so how about youstop bullshitting us and explain yourself?”
Stone fumbles for another few seconds before falling backinto his seat, averting his gaze and doing his best to keep from gaping like afish; Harvey cross his arms over his chest and Mike puts his hands on his hips.
Then…wait a second.
For crying out loud, does he even know he’s doing itanymore, or has it become just some awful habit?
Stone starts digging around in his briefcase, as thoughsomething in there will explain his poor planning and general stupidity, whenHarvey hears it clearly:
“I’m in love with your body,” Mike mumbles rhythmically.
Stone pulls out a stack of papers and keeps digging ashis assistant wrings his hands uselessly.
“Every day discovering something brand new…”
Harvey grits his teeth.
“I’m in love with the shape—”
“Alright, that’s it.”
Harvey grabs Mike’s elbow and hauls him stumbling out thedoor into the hall; Stone looks up in surprise and his assistant’s head snapsaround as the door swings shut behind them and Harvey doesn’t often wish theglass walls of this office were made of something a little more opaque, but he sureis wishing that now.
“What the hell are you doing?” he hisses the moment heand Mike are out of view of their client; a couple of stray associates wisely scuttleaway, keeping their heads down, and Mike looks genuinely baffled, raising hishands and shaking his head.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mike says. Harveyisn’t sure whether to believe him or not.
“That song,” he snaps, “you’ve been—humming it andsinging it and drumming it for a weekand a half!”
“It’s stuck in my head,” Mike mutters.
“That song,” Harvey says dryly. “That song in particularhas been stuck in your head for over aweek.”
Mike shrugs. “I guess? Why, you got something against EdSheeran?”
“Do I— No, Mike, I have something against you singing a love song at me for ten days straight!”
Mike looks down shamefacedly, then back up with his eyesnarrowed. “Wait, why?”
Harvey doesn’t really have an answer to that; or, hedoes, handily, but he’s not about to tell Mike what it is.
“Because it’s very unprofessional,” he declares, which itactually kind of is. “And I know he sure doesn’t look it, but Stone is worth alot of money that I don’t want to see flushed down the drain when he fires us becauseyou can’t get your earworm under control!”
It’s true; Stone’s suit isn’t even made to measure, muchless bespoke. The man clearly has no idea how to handle his fortune. Probably inherited.
But Mike has that look in his eye like he’s uncovered afact buried about a hundred meters underground that someone went to a greatdeal of trouble to hide from him (because Harvey did), and he’s not about tolet it go (just as Harvey taught him).
“But you would’ve been fine with ‘Castle on the Hill.’”
“That’s not the point.”
“That’s exactly the point,” Mike argues. “You said youdon’t like me singing a love song, at you, for ten days, and I’m asking you why,because I have an idea and I’d like to know if we’re on the same page with it.”
Shit.
Wait.
Harvey frowns. “What do you mean, ‘same page’?”
Shoving his hand into his hair, Mike looks away and sighssharply.
“Before I say what I’m going to say, I’d like to remindyou that it would be a huge pain in the ass at this point for you to hiresomeone to replace me and the number of people with eidetic memories is vanishinglysmall so you’re basically guaranteed to never find anyone else who’s goodenough to pass the Bar without going to law school and I’ve got enough dirt onyou and Specter Litt to bury this firm if I really want to but.” He pauses abruptly and Harvey takes a moment to be impressedthat he got that all out in one breath before Mike meets his eyes challengingly.
“I’m getting kind of sick of pretending I’m not super into you.”
Of all the ways this situation could have played out,this is definitely one of the weirdest. Best? Weirdest. But also sort ofawesome.
But very weird.
Harvey clears his throat imperiously and tries to find somestable footing.
“Are you threatening me?”
Mike puts his hands in his pockets and looks upthoughtfully, clenching his teeth; he was confident enough to say what he did,but he’s not completely confident that he’s right about it. Well, he’s a guywho goes after what he wants, that’s for sure; that consequences-be-damnedattitude has gotten him in trouble in the past, but he’s still willing to puthimself out there when it counts.
“I think,” Mike speculates, “that it was more like…blackmail?”
Harvey smirks. “Are you sure about that, because I didn’thear any quid pro quo demands.”
He sees the moment Mike realizes that he hasn’t beenchastised, or demoted, and his cocky grin mimics Harvey’s almost exactly.
“Either you invite me out to dinner in a clearly defineddate-like capacity, or you wait for me to ask you first.”
“You son of a bitch.”
Nodding his agreement, Mike magnanimously offers hishand. “So, Mister Specter, we agree?”
Harvey takes his hand and shakes it firmly. “I’ll pickyou up at eight.”
They hold each other’s grips for a period definitelylonger than necessary, and Mike grins.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Harvey watches fondly as Mike strides back into theconference room and opens a folder full of spreadsheets to shove in theirclient’s face.
The kid sure knows how to handle a tough situation; thisis going to be fun.
There’s just one more question Harvey has to ask himself beforetonight:
The button-front or the Henley?
Chapter Two
“I’ve gotta get me one of those.” —Commissioner James Gordon (GaryOldman), Batman Begins (2005)
“Castle on the Hill” is the other lead single fromSheeran’s studio album ÷ (2017).
Just to clarify, Penelope isn’t Mike’s girlfriend, she’s his C.I. (his Vanessa).
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