#like tie him up and drag his ass to therapy cuz he needs it

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~Gov headcanons cuz I just realized that I don’t think I’ve done anything for him~

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-he is trans (ftm).

-he is a "straight" up coffee addict and it’s f*cking concerning

-attachment + abandonment issues. Don’t try and prove me wrong. Just don’t. You’ll fail miserably/silly

-gay gay homosexual gay-

-he practically raised himself with a bit of help from a few other states (MA, CT, DE, ect…) cuz Pennsylvania paid a lot more attention to his sister when they were growing up.

-he’s incredibly easy to scare and the other states have tried to not scare the living crap out of him when they walk into a room, but they fail miserably.

-he is autistic, but nobody knows cuz he never told them cuz he got belittled for it in the past.

-he’s actually really f*ckin good at singing but he doesn’t. Hell will freeze over before he tells someone that he can sing (although, depending on how long you’ve been around my blog, you’ll know that somebody does in fact know that he can sing and they also know that he speaks French 👀)

-I can only imagine what would happen if someone were to sit down with this poor boy and ask him any questions about his mental health and well-being….

-this man is NOT, I repeat, NOT allowed in the kitchen unsupervised.

-if you hug him, he will either: 1, break down, or 2, fall asleep instantly

-he dreads going back to the White House, cuz he isn’t treated well there.

-he has one red eye and one blue eye, and they used to be a lot brighter, but now they’ve dulled to an almost grey and brown color. You can, however, still see the lively colors in his eyes if the light hits em’ right.

-this man is the equivalent of a wet, terrified, and sad kitten.

-he doesn’t get too angry too often, but when he does…. Hehe RUN-

-the only time he gets really angry is if somebody hurts any of the states.

-he may be scrawny as sh*t (cuz he obviously has no idea as to what an eating and sleep schedule is-), but he will f*ck. You. Up. If needed. And he’ll do it with a sadistic smile in his face too.

-the closest thing to a father he ever had was Pennsylvania. The closest thing he had to somebody that treated him like a father should would probably be Georgia.

-I’m not gonna say that he’s a cryptid, but I’m not gonna say that he’s a human either (same goes with every single state-)

-if somebody is yelling at him, he’s learned to just zone out completely (unless it’s the president or another important government figure-).

[toodaioo]

For the Discord: SFW Version

- Junkrat biting his nails when he gets nervous, excited, or when they’re beginning a game

- when Junkrat gives kisses he tastes like metal and gunpowder

- when Junkrat’s tired, Roadhog gives him piggyback rides to their destination

- Junkrat has a fear of deep water/pools of water to where he can’t stand fully up in (mainly because he thinks he’ll drown because the franticness of him flailing and trying to swim and all that junk will pull his prosthetics off him and he’ll only have his left side to swim with-)

- Roadhog gives Junkrat gifts of sweets and chocolate and lollies whenever he finds them because they’re so rare and are considered a delicacy- and they’re ALWAYS melted due to the heat but Junkrat doesn’t mind it and prefers it messy

- Junkrat sleep talks/kicks in his sleep/tosses & turns

-When Roadhog and Junkrat are affectionate towards eachother (like kisses and nudges-)‘Rat makes little snorting noises with Roadhog to make him smile under his mask.

- Mako has to help Junkrat bathe when they get the chance to because he can’t reach everywhere

- When ‘Rat talks too much ‘Hog smooshes his mask against his face to shut him up- (and it doesn’t work the majority of the time-)

- Rat tries to surprise ‘Hog by painting a super basic pig on his nails but messes it up because his hands are so shaky but ‘Hog loves it anyways because Rat made it and it’s lovely

- when ‘Hog and ‘Rat are play wrestling he bites and kicks and fidgets and will essentially fight dirty to win (he never does)

- Rat blows raspberries on ‘Hog’s belly and loves it

- Junkrat LOVES having his hair tousled but not a lot of people will do it sadly enough

- Junkrat LOVES wearing ‘Hog’s shirts because they’re so big and they go down to his knees

- ‘Hog leaves little notes (and little love notes too sometimes-) on Rat’s blueprints for new things saying ‘Good job’ and little doodles of pigs and Rat tears them off and keeps every single one in a very special place on their bag.

Junkrat’s a cranky baby when he wakes up and has to be dragged around until he finally wakes up

Junkrat throws tantrums and Roadhog just fucking tolerates it until he wears himself out.

Roadhog helping Junkrat learn how to swim without his prosthetics and the whole time Rat’s clinging to him like he’s going to die. (They’re in the very short end of the pool)

Junkrat breaks his pegleg and has to have Roadie help him

Junkrat decides to eat a Carolina Reaper and Roadie has to take care of the kid

Roadhog gets sick and Junkrat has to take care of him

They find a fatally ill animal (Cat/dog/etc) and try to take care of it (can end in a positive / negative way-)

Junkrat gets too excited about getting a soda and shakes it up on accident, then forgets about it and drinks it.

Taking Jamison to an icecream bar where he excitedly tries out all of the flavours and proceeds to get sick

Roadhog forcing the kid to bathe and gets bitten/scratched to high hell

Taking Junkrat to a petstore and he’s gawking at all of the animals and falls in love with a guinea pig and they buy it cuz it’s a mix between a ‘rat and a pig’.

Roadhog teaching the kid various recipes and makes sure he doesn’t blow up the kitchen.

Taking Jamison to a serve-yourself-yoghurt place and he gets WAY too much and ends up getting brain freeze.

Taking him to the zoo

taking him to the pharmacy where Rat has to sit still for a min. of 30 minutes while Roadhog gets his inhaler refilled (it does not end well)

Junkrat having to wear floaties in the pool the first few times because he’ll sink like a rock because of his body density

Junkrat makes a blanket fort big enough for the both of them and they watch Mad max movies all night

PLAY WRESTLING and Roadhog lets Junkrat win

Watching cheesy romance movies on the couch and both of them are trying not to cry infront of the other because that’s silly

JUNKRAT DRAWING THINGS FOR ROADHOG AND THEY’RE ALL KEPT IN A SPECIAL BINDER and Junkrat’s like ‘why the fuck do you have my old art get rid of it’ and makes grabby hands as Roadhog holds it away from him

JUNKRAT FINDING OUT THAT ROADHOG’S TICKLISH. CUE ROADHOG FIGURING OUT JUNKRAT’S EVEN MORE TICKLISH

Having to go clothes shopping because it gets cold in Britian/China during the winter when they’re out on missions

Roadhog waking up with stickers all over his mask thanks to junkrat

Junkrat goes out of his way finding mini keychains to put on Roadhog’s gun

Junkrat leaving sticky notes on Roadhog’s mask while he’s asleep and they’re all love notes

SnugGLING AND PILLOW TALK

Roadhog teaching Junkrat how to kiss properly

Junkrat making Roadhog breakfast without him knowing and sets off the fire alarms

Grumpy tired junkrat in tiny shorts and Roadhog’s big ass shirt and complaining he wants to go to bed

BAR NIGHT

Junkrat drinking way too much alcohol and gets a horrible hangover where Roadhog takes care of him

Junkrat doing the other’s hair

junkrat getting a fuck ton of piercings

deciding to make tie dye shirts that match and it ends up with the dye getting all over everything BUT the shirts

They decide to go through a drive through and Jamie takes WAY too long to figure out what he wants.

Jamison going shoe shopping and frustrating the cashier because he only needs one shoe.

Taking Jamison to a desert bar and he’s pressed against the glass the entire time and gets it super fucking dirty

His grenade launcher totally fucking breaks and he has to put it back together with roadhog’s help

Reading eachother other heroes diary entries and laughing their asses off

Tinkering with other heroes weapons

Playing footsies at a restaurant while they’re there with everyone else and trying to be nonchalant about it.

Jamison gets hurt real fucking bad in battle and so does Hog but he only has one canister of Hogdrogen left and Jamie’s crying for him to take it instead because Hog has a better chance of survival

Figuring out that they’ve actually had this business partnership for a while and have a lot of stories to tell.

Jamison excitedly showing the other heroes how he can stick his finger up his nose to the second knuckle and then panics when it doesn’t come back out

Roadhog helping Jamison with his physical therapy, especially when he loses his leg.

Roadhog having to be the one to amputate the kid’s limbs with or without his permission.

Jamison’s first time in a hotel and experiencing what the fuck air conditioning is.

Jamison seeing a clean bed for the first time and Roadhog essentially forcing the kid to bathe before he gets in it because for once he doesn’t want to sleep in dirty sheets.

Jamison throwing a temper tantrum and smacking Roadhog with a pillow, only to be smacked back and slammed into the floor.

They go berry picking and surprisingly Roadhog’s really fucking good at it and they end up with laundry baskets full of it while Junkrat’s busy trying to set said laundry baskets on fire.

Laundry day and Junkrat and Roadhog in a laundromat while they’re waiting for their clothes to dry and Jamie has to sit still which doesn’t end well.

Grocery shopping trip with the heroes and everyone’s given a list as to what they need and Jamie goes over the top while Roadhog has to stop him.

They decide to go buy candles for whatever reason and Junkrat spends way too much time smelling everything so much that he actually passes out/knocks some shit over.

Going clothes shopping and neither can find pants/shirts/gloves/etc that fit them- then junkrat finds the cologne section of the store and tries on everything only to get light headed

Junkrat raids a buildabear and makes way too many stuffed animals.

They go to McDonalds and Junkrat gets stuck in the slide and Roadhog has to get an employee to get him out.

Junkrat and Roadhog take a pottery class and jamie gets REALLY into it because it requires a fuckload of precision and detail that is hard to work with like his bombs

Junkrat actually drawing- like - not just doodles and sketches but like actually drawing and Mako’s like ‘holy fuck man’

Mako showing Jamie all of his recipes before the war and Jamie doesn’t know what the fuck a lemon is/etc

Gardening. Gardens don’t require fire.

They go to japan and wander into a toy store which has keychains and they get all of them forever and every match Roadhog has a different keychain on his gun

Junkrat tinkering with Roadhog’s hogdrogen to the point where it makes him so fucking high he just sits there and drools

Jamie eating way too many poptarts and gets sick

Jamison and McCree have a soda drinking contest and McCree wins while Jamison’s foaming at the mouth

Jamison introducing everyone to fallout australia foods

Jamie and Roadhog make frogs in a pond for Lucio (it’s a recipe-)

Playdates with D.Va and Lucio which end up with painted nails, makeup, stickers, and nice music