#✨mmm trauma✨

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~Gov headcanons cuz I just realized that I don’t think I’ve done anything for him~

=======================================================================

-he is trans (ftm).

-he is a "straight" up coffee addict and it’s f*cking concerning

-attachment + abandonment issues. Don’t try and prove me wrong. Just don’t. You’ll fail miserably/silly

-gay gay homosexual gay-

-he practically raised himself with a bit of help from a few other states (MA, CT, DE, ect…) cuz Pennsylvania paid a lot more attention to his sister when they were growing up.

-he’s incredibly easy to scare and the other states have tried to not scare the living crap out of him when they walk into a room, but they fail miserably.

-he is autistic, but nobody knows cuz he never told them cuz he got belittled for it in the past.

-he’s actually really f*ckin good at singing but he doesn’t. Hell will freeze over before he tells someone that he can sing (although, depending on how long you’ve been around my blog, you’ll know that somebody does in fact know that he can sing and they also know that he speaks French 👀)

-I can only imagine what would happen if someone were to sit down with this poor boy and ask him any questions about his mental health and well-being….

-this man is NOT, I repeat, NOT allowed in the kitchen unsupervised.

-if you hug him, he will either: 1, break down, or 2, fall asleep instantly

-he dreads going back to the White House, cuz he isn’t treated well there.

-he has one red eye and one blue eye, and they used to be a lot brighter, but now they’ve dulled to an almost grey and brown color. You can, however, still see the lively colors in his eyes if the light hits em’ right.

-this man is the equivalent of a wet, terrified, and sad kitten.

-he doesn’t get too angry too often, but when he does…. Hehe RUN-

-the only time he gets really angry is if somebody hurts any of the states.

-he may be scrawny as sh*t (cuz he obviously has no idea as to what an eating and sleep schedule is-), but he will f*ck. You. Up. If needed. And he’ll do it with a sadistic smile in his face too.

-the closest thing to a father he ever had was Pennsylvania. The closest thing he had to somebody that treated him like a father should would probably be Georgia.

-I’m not gonna say that he’s a cryptid, but I’m not gonna say that he’s a human either (same goes with every single state-)

-if somebody is yelling at him, he’s learned to just zone out completely (unless it’s the president or another important government figure-).

[mythology-void]

watching S2 of ATLA and why did no one tell me zuko had them pretty pretty man titties

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

Please Please Please - Rafe Cameron Short Story (Part 6 of 6 Final Chapter and Epilogue)

Bonus smut chapter is complete - making final edits now 💕

+18 Minor DNI

Older MobDealer!Rafe x Female Reader

⭐ NEW DROP ⭐

+18 Minor DNI

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

🪄 Warnings contain spoilers: blood, cheating, swearing, name-calling, threats, soft!rafe, mentions of killing partner, kissing, general violence, guns, fighting, ownership kink, mention of drugs, stabbing, murder, major character trauma, pet names.

📖 Loosely based on the song and music video Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter 💕

✨ “You are. You think I’m gonna believe that line of shit. ‘Bout her lyin’ to me? About you beating the livin’ shit out of her to throw me off? ✨

Reader’s POV:

You roll into the parking lot, unable to fight back your smile. The week was long, but the phone conversations with Rafe held you over just enough. The jail in Charleston wasn’t as lax as Kildare County. Understandably, Rafe did not want to push his limits, leaving the phone conversations shorter than you’d hoped they’d be. Until Rafe was out and everything was taken care of, he didn’t want you to leave the penthouse, which meant no face-to-face visits, leaving you craving him even.

Rafe ensured you were taken care of: additional security, groceries sent over, dinner brought by every night, fresh-cut flowers when he thought the old ones had wilted. Rafe had the G-Wagon scrubbed and triple-checked for any additional trackers placed or bugs planted.

He paid a hefty fee to have the cops delete a single recorded call between the two of you. Rafe wanted to know what happened the night he had gotten taken away by the officers. He wanted to know what Tony had said in the voicemail, and what happened between the restaurant and the penthouse. Everything was awful, but the voicemail conjured up the most fury. Rafe dissected each word, dragging Tony; your ex’s vile words just added fuel to the fire, like he needed any more. Rafe was very conscious with his words, careful not to incriminate himself further, emphasizing the importance of the business meeting, and that he was looking forward to it even more now.

Of course, given the situation, you couldn’t ask about Tony. His well-being wasn’t the concern, just curiosity. Where was he? Where did Barry take him? It’s been seven days… He must be well-hidden, or his boys would have found him by now. There’s no way he’s dead… Rafe would never allow Barry to take that pleasure away from him.

A conversation— it’s never a conversation with these men, even more satirical after watching how the first one unfolded. If Tony had been there, this would have been over. Maybe this is how it was supposed to happen. I’m sure Rafe has a few things he wants to say to Tony before he pulls the trigger. There are so many things I want to say to him. I wish I could have been strong enough to take the call at the bar. His words have done nothing but haunt me. But maybe I was meant to hear it too… Any fraction of guilt I had about my choices were eliminated in an instant.

The door of the jail fans open, just like it did the week before; Rafe all smiles once again. He bites his lip as he walks to you, taking you in like it's the very first time. Rafe shakes his head in awe as he looks down at you, clearing the space between as you do the same. You jump into his arms, hugging him tightly, burying yourself in his neck. He kisses wherever he can, mumbling against your soft skin about how you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen and feelings mutual. Seeing the beautiful man before you, paired with all the lovely things he did brings nothing but tears and emotion. “I love you, Rafe. I love you so much,” you snivel.

“Mmm…” He hums happily, taking his turn kissing up the column of your neck to your ear. “I love you, princess.”

You pull back and smile, eyes locked. His ocean eyes shimmer with happy tears as well. Rafe’s gaze falls to your lips, his focus like a magnet pulling you in. Your arms wrap loosely around his neck as he cradles you in his embrace. Rafe backs you against the car, deepening the exchange. Your tongue swirls with his, lips moving in perfect harmony. He smiles along your mouth, nuzzling his nose against yours. “Damn, I missed my girl.”

Rafe grips the steering wheel, the other hand resting on your bare thigh. His gold chain twinkles on his athletic chest, poking slightly out of his black fitted polo. It had taken everything in your power not to pull him into the back seat after watching him change out of the button-down he walked in with, still sprinkled with blood from the club. He looks at you with a smirk, catching you gawking, loving every second of your attention. “It’ll be a short meeting. Aight? Think you can wait?” He teases, making your cheeks warm up as you fight back a dizzy laugh.

“Honestly, I don’t think I can.” You take his hand in yours, lifting it, kissing his fingers one by one. “I still have to thank you, baby.”

Rafe releases a lusty laugh, relaxing in his leather seat a little more. “Trust me, princess. I have not forgotten. I've thought about it every night. But, a ‘thank you’ is not necessary… I love takin’ care of you, and I always will.” The car speeds past the town’s welcome sign, barreling toward the Atlantic.

“Where are we going?” You ask.

“You’re droppin’ me off at the beach house, baby. You can head over to Tanneyhill. I’ll meet you there when I’m done, and we can get out of here. How does that sound?” He smiles. You clear the lump in your throat, trying to focus on the question Rafe is asking, but your mind is fixated on the rest of his words. Rafe wants me to leave? “Baby?” he asks gently. 

“I’m dropping you off…” You question uneasily. “Don’t you want me to come with you? Don’t you need me close by?”

The muscles in Rafe’s arms flex as he tightens his hand around the steering wheel, shaking his head ‘no’ as he narrows his sights on the road. “I don’t want you to see this, princess,” he responds levelly, his eyes landing on yours.

“Couldn’t Barry take care of him?” You invite without thinking. Rafe’s brows knit tightly, a puzzled look pulling on his beautiful face.

“No… Why, baby?” He asks, trying his best to keep his compass on the road ahead.

“I don’t know,” you answer hastily. “I just don’t - I don’t know.” Your stomach sinks, uneasiness setting in. After everything that Tony has done and said, he’s better off dead, but thinking about him dying at the hands of Rafe mere minutes from now had your heart racing. I can't help but think about the fact that he bamboozled Rafe not once but twice. He would have walked into an ambush at the strip club without me there… He had no clue the drugs were planted in the Mercedes. “I don’t know!”

“What don’t you know, exactly?” He asks as he pulls up to the beach house, sailing into the driveway, pulling between a vintage BMW and the white van that Tony got taken away in. Rafe turns toward you, demanding your attention. “Are you having second thoughts about this?” He questions, his words dripping with accusation.

“No!” You gasp. “I - I just. I don’t know, Rafe. I’m just freaking out. Okay?” You whimper as tears start to cloud your vision, your anxiety about the situation making your mind muddled.

“Do you want him to live?” He asks. It’s hard to place his tone; Rafe at the junctions between perplexed and agitated, his frustration with you clear in his body language alone.

“Of course I don’t. I want this to be over with,” you blubber.

”So do I, princess. And we talked about this before. It’s not going to be me and you if he’s here. Do you want it to be me and you-”

”Yes!” You cry out before he can even finish his sentence.

“Don’t think about it then, Aight? Let me handle business. This is why I don’t want you in there. I don’t want this on your conscience. I want to handle this for you. And we will never talk about this again. Okay?” You nod in silent agreement, but he shakes his head ‘no’. “Words, baby.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Rafe leans in, kissing you softly. You cup his cheeks in your hands, running your thumbs along the stubble that’s grown on his face since confinement. “I’m sorry for doubting you, Rafe, but things keep goin’ wrong. Tony keeps getting in the way. I don’t want him to hurt you. I don’t wanna lose you.”

He melts into your touch, looking at you with adoring eyes. “You’re not gonna lose me. And he’s not gonna hurt me. All right? He’s strapped to a chair. He has been for a week. This is just a matter of me lookin’ him in the eyes and letting him know that he will never get to hurt you again. Yeah?”

“Okay, baby,” you breathe as Rafe catches your tears with his thumbs.

“I love you, y/n. It’s all going to be okay.”

“Okay… I love you too, baby.”

“I know you do,” he whispers. “Once I close this door, I want you to drive. Understand?” He asks as he opens up the navigation on your phone, pulling up the address to his home in Figure Eight. “Remember what happened last time I told you to leave but you stayed an extra two minutes. You gotta listen to me,” he asserts.

“I’ll listen.”

“Promise?”

“I swear,” you whisper.

Rafe grabs the handle of the driver’s side door, pushing it open before walking around the front, helping you to your feet. His arm wraps around your waist, leading you to the other side. He hugs you tightly, pressing kisses on your forehead and cheeks before landing on your lips, kissing you one last time.

“Just a conversation,” you whisper.

“Nah,” he breathes. “Not this time. I love you, princess.”

“I love you too, Rafe.”

Your hand holds his as he steps away until your fingers lose contact. Rafe reaches behind his back just as he did the night you walked into the club, checking the pistol tucked into his waistband before falling out of sight. You step into the driver’s seat, wrapping your hands around the steering wheel, still warm from Rafe. You grab the shifter, putting it in reverse, fighting against the impulse to wait in the wings ‘til he handles business, just in case he needs to flee. This man gives and gives. He has barely asked me for anything in return. Just leave. You roll out of the drive, pressing down on the gas.

Rafe’s POV:

“Barry?” I bark, my voice bouncing off the walls of the beach house. Rap music swells from the basement, the dank smell of weed hazing the place. My aggravation starts to mount; a SOLO cup crushes under the heel of my dress boot, just one of many. Empty liquor bottles and beer cans litter the counter, takeout food strewn across the tables, thongs, stripper heels, and a few stray lines of coke left cut on the counter. “I’m gonna kill him,” I curse his name under my breath as I bound toward the basement door.

I tug it open, my heart plunging as I see a pool of blood gathered on the floor. Shit. I catch my gun, heart banging as I race down the flight. “Oh, fuck… No. Sh-Shit. Barry?” I stutter as I run toward him, his white tank top drenched crimson red. His dark eyes lift momentarily, falling heavy the next. I catch his shallow breathing, leaning in close as he tries to mumble out a few words, quelled in blood.

“Tony?” I ask, watching as he gives me the slightest nod. This blood is fresh. He’s here.

BANG.

I draw my gun again as the door at the top of the stairs bangs shut. Here we go… I sprint toward the wall, half-hidden, listening to his heavy steps as they move closer and closer.

“You hidin’ from me, Cameron?” Tony’s voice cuts through the hush. “That was an awful lotta coke. You come to pay up? Or, did you just come to take somethin’ else from me?” He booms as he steps out, footing right past me.

He looks like shit. His white button-down shirt tattered and bloodied on his large body; Tony’s donning the same worn-in beard as me after his week of imprisonment in the basement. The fucker got the shorter end of the stick apparently, beaten to the edge of death, Barry doing all but killing the bitch.

I check his hands, breathing a sigh of relief; no gun. I adjust my mine as I see a weapon, however, a large kitchen knife clutched in his massive hand. End this. I find his head in my crosshairs, aiming my pistol at his skull, gritting my teeth, battling with the rational part of my brain that’s tellin’ me to fire. The irrational part of my mind yearning to feed my pride and tell him everything I wanna say for her… Tony bends around, smiling with blood-stained teeth. Shit.

“You gonna shoot, Cameron? Or you gonna just stand there like a pussy,” Tony spits.

“We got some shit we need to talk about first. Hmm?”

“You wanna talk about my girl-“

“My girl,” I stop him as I step a little closer, making him shake his head in disbelief, snickering cruelly as he looks back at me.

“Yours? Your girl? Since when exactly. ‘Cause she never said shit to me. Do you honestly think that she loves you? Are you that fuckin’ stupid?” He asks as he rolls up his sleeves, preparing for a fight.

“I know she loves me,” I grunt as I square up with him.

“You think she’d leave me? It was our plan for you to die at the club. She knew it. I knew it. You were just supposed to walk in.”

”You’re lyin’,” I spit.

“Am I?” He smiles again— that same wicked and crazed smile; punch-drunk after a week of torture. “You know I’m not, Rafe.”

“You are. You think I’m gonna believe that line of shit. ‘Bout her lyin’ to me? About you beating the livin’ shit out of her to throw me off? You think I believe you you’d actually let me fuck-”

”ENOUGH!” He thunders, his loud, deep voice making my muscle tense up. “Don’t finish that FUCKING sentence. Because how hard you make this is how hard she's gonna get it after I KILL you. You understand?”

“You can't even let me finish the sentence, Marietta. You can’t even let the words leave my lips,” I chuckle. “Ya know, about fuckin’ “your” girl, on the couch of your club? That same couch you fucked some stripper on. You think I believe that you’d actually let that happen? She ain’t in on this, Tony. This is you losin’ her and settin’ me up.” He steps closer and so do I, the pair of us level-eyed.

“I’m not lyin’. That women would do anything for me. And, at the end of the day, even if I am lyin’, she’d only want you for your money, Cameron. I’m man enough to admit you got more than me— new money and old money in your pocket. She saw an opportunity and took it. She’s either in on this or in it for the cash.”

“She’s not after my money,” I mumble as I try to keep my emotions at bay. “She’s not in on shit.”

“‘Course she is… Your head is just too far up your ass to see what’s really goin’ on around you. N’let’s just say my baby isn’t in on this with me and she just after your money and she finds someone else with more, buddy, you’re fucked. ‘Cause if you get what you came here for and you kill me, everything in my name goes to her: all of the hard earned money that I made that she loves to spend, the club, the law firm, my cars, my jewelry, my homes. Everything that I have she takes from me. And she knows that. You gotta see what’s goin’ on here. Right?” He asks as he looks back at me like I'm stupid.

“You’re pathetic.”

“I’m pathetic?” He chuckles. “You know before your boys picked me up, I was on the way to fuck my girlfriend in that pretty little penthouse you bought her. She even sent me a few pictures in that pretty pink lingerie. You know, the one she was describin’ for you on the phone? Fuck, Rafe. You should see it on her. My princess doesn’t just talk a big game. She knows how to fuck,” he sneers as he catches me battling my emotions. “Why don’t you go look at my phone. Pretty sure it’s in his pocket. You can see for yourself.”

My stomach falls as I hear the door crack at the top of the stairs—one step then another, as the person at the top creeps down. No. No. Tony hears it as well, the man looking over my shoulder with a smile. “Guess who’s here, Cameron,” he whispers. “Princess?” Tony softens his tone with her, the sound of y/n’s slight feet stopping in a flash.

Was this her plan all along?

I scrunch my nose; eyes burning with tears of deceit and rage. There’s no way the story he’s spinning is true. If he kills me, and he’s lying, what will happen to her? I can’t take that risk.

I shove him hard, making him stumble back, kicking him with the heel of my dress shoe square in the chest before he can rise back up to his feet, sending him and the knife to the ground. I hear her soft gasp; her feet quickly clearing the rest of the steps. “Don’t move, y/n,” I bark back at her.

“Rafe?” She whimpers, making me look over my shoulder. The second I do the air flees my lungs, Tony’s big body tackling me to the floor. My skull ricochetes off the hardwood floor; eyes slamming shut in pain, losing my gun in the process. I overpower him, rolling him to his back, grabbing his shoulders I lift him slightly, bashing his head against the ground again and again making him scream out in pain.

He scratches and claws at my face and shirt as I wrap my hands around his throat, squeezing with all my might. "Not so easy to fight a man. Huh?" I hiss.

"F-Fuck you," he stammers as he throws a rough punch, meeting my jaw. I respond with four of my own. The connections, direct and brutal, the dried blood on his face replaced with fresh blood as his body starts to go limp.

Finally.

I stare down at him, lifeless, one with the floor, his breathing almost nonexistent. I draw my hand back, slapping him across the face, his head snapping to the side; body unresponsive to the pain. I drag myself to my feet, stumbling across the living room for my gun. An execution. This ends right here. Right now.

My chin trembles with adrenaline and emotion as I try to get his words out of my head. There’s no way she was in on this all along. Everything she shared with me, the things she said to me, the things we did… That was real. She's here ‘cause she was worried. She's here ‘cause her intuition was right. She's here for me.

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. My heart sinks, the rapid bounding of Tony’s feet stopped almost as soon as it start. It’s quiet, wet gurgling and a soft whimpers are all that remains. I turn around, facing Tony but his eyes aren’t on me. He looks down at his chest, the bloodied tip of carboned steel poking out from his chest. He falls to his knees before me, y/n standing behind him in shock, watching as he tumbles face-first on the floor.

She looks up at me, eyes filled to the brim with tears. I run to her, pulling her into my arms, holding her body close as she clings to me for dear life.

I haven't let her go since. It wouldn't feel right. I hold her, watching as the sun sets in the east; a blood-red sky, painted across the Atlantic. The last sliver of the golden sun dips below the horizon. I kiss her gently on her cheek, down the soft flesh on her neck to the dip on her shoulder before resting my chin on top. “Are you okay, baby,” she whispers. I rest my hands on the top of hers, pressing my chest against her back as we both look over the edge of the yatch, watching the black water swell below.

“M’perfect, princess,” I whisper as I nuzzle into her neck. “Are you okay.”

“I am,” she whispers, “because of you. Thank you...”

“Thank you,” I mumble as she melts into me. “I needed you. I can't believe you did that for me.”

“I’d do anything for you,” she whispers as she turns, resting her hands against my chest, looking up at me with pleading eyes. “I know him. I know Tony probably filled your head with lies but I promise, none of it’s true.”

“I know,” I assure as I cup her cheeks in my hands, guiding her soft lips to mine. “This is almost over and from here on out it’s just you and I.”

“You and I,” she echoes. I kiss her forehead and her lips before pulling away.

“Stay here. M’serious.” She nods submissively, falling back as I move foward. I shuffle across the main deck, grabbing the rail, walking down the small flight of stairs to the carport before raising the hatch. I reach behind my back, pulling out my 9mm, opening the trunk.

There he lies, Tony Marietta. I smile as he lifts his eyes, matching mine; the bloodied knife already laying by his side. I take the gun, pressing it against his temple, tilting my head slightly to keep his eyes on me. “M’so glad you’re alive for this… I could make this fast,” I whisper. “But after all the shit you did, I’m gonna have you dyin’ nice and slow. Too bad I don't get to watch.” He goes to speak but all that comes out is a thick trail of blood. “I know what you're gonna say… Don’t worry. I’m gonna do what you couldn’t. I’m gonna take care of her. And that's a promise.” I toss my gun inside before slamming the trunk.

Moving to the front I step inside, firing up the engine before shifting it into neutral. I give the vintage ride a little push, the pull of the yacht sending the tires rolling. I follow the car as it plunges into the deep, dark waters, the depth snuffing out the headlights ‘til all that’s left is blackness.

Goodbye, Tony.

Epilogue

One year later…

Reader’s POV:

You roll up to Tanneyhill, flooding the big driveway with light after a late night shift at the Country Club. It’s mine now and business is booming; a new staff with increased security. Rafe took it upon himself to turn it from the dive it once was to a luxury experience, all for me. Of course I clean his money, the perfect front. Anything for my man. Stepping out of the car you make your way up the cobblestone walk to the front door, passing the bay window, watching as Rafe shuffles by in a black button down, resting two plates of food down on the table.

“Knock. Knock,” you sing as you open the door with a smile, matching Rafe’s beautiful blue eyes making him return the same.

“Babygirl,” he croons as he walks closer, helping you out of your jacket before, swathing his strong arms around you waist, looking down at you lovingly.

“Welcome home. Happy Anniversary,” you coo as you rise on your tippy toes, pressing a kiss on his lips. “I didn’t think you’d be home ‘til next week.”

He smiles against your lips, recalling his initial plan, the pair of you knowing there was no way he was gonna miss this day, even if it meant flying home from Morocco for one night only. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world, you know that, princess,” he mumbles against your mouth between kisses. “I got your favorite.”

Rafe takes your hand, leading you to the dining room, pulling out your chair, directing you to sit. You look across the table seeing all of your favorite things; the meal, the flowers, wine. Little candles glint in the middle of the table, adding to the ambiance as he runs you a glass of Chateau Lafite Rothschild, the first bottle of wine you shared on your very first night together.

"You look stunning," Rafe praises, lifting his glass to his lips, sipping slowly as his eyes drink you in.

"And you look very handsome, Rafe Cameron," you hum, resting your hand on the thigh of his Armani suit.

"You know baby, you’ve been working too hard. Are you free this week?” He asks, knowing the answer is ‘no’, but that’s not the reply he’ll get. If he’s asking you to go somewhere he’s already worked everything out for you.

"I’m always free for you, baby."

"Mhmm… Barry and his girl are gonna watch the club so you can come to Morocco with me. How does that sound?”

“So nice… You’re so good to me,” you sigh blissfully as you grab him by the collar of his jacket, pulling him to your lips. “Fuck, I love you.”

"Mmm… Yeah? Wanna sit on my lap and tell me how much you love me? We can see what happens next,” he chuckles warmly.

“Don’t tempt me, baby. You know I have no problem taking you right here,” you smile, the blonde smirking as he recalls what happened the morning before he left.

“You are so good to me,” he corrects you. "Y/n, I'm so happy you're mine. I hope you feel that.”

"I'm so happy I'm yours," you smile, spreading a little wider. “Of course, I feel that.”

"You deserve to have the very best, sweetheart. You deserve to be happy, and safe, and loved.” He leans in closer to you, his eyes meeting yours.

"I do… You’re perfect, Rafe.”

“I’m not, princess. But I wanna be for you,” he whispers, swallowing thickly. Your brows rumple as his mood shifts from flirty and light-hearted to serious. His eyes always look bluer when he’s on the verge of tears, yet, his smile contradicts it all. "I got you something."

"Yeah?"

“Mhmm,” he hums and nods as he reaches into his suit jacket pocket, pulling out a blue box.

"Oh my gosh! Rafe Cameron,” you gasp. “It's too much.”

"It's not, princess," he smiles softly. You reach for the box, but he keeps it in his hand, using the other to brush the tears out of his eyes.

"Rafe... Are you okay?" You whisper as you cup his cheek in your hand. He shuts his eyes, relishing in your touch, leaning into you slightly. He takes a few deep breaths before opening his eyes again.

"I’m perfect, baby.” He whispers weakly. "Umm... I'm not sure how I'm this in love with you, baby. But I am. And, at this point, I genuinely can't remember a time when I wasn't. Every night since I saw you I fall asleep with you on my mind, and I wonder if you're doing the same. I can't even comprehend losing you, or someone hurting you. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it a million times I don’t trust anyone to protect you but me and that includes your heart too. It's you, princess. It's fucking you. I can't describe it any more than that. You are the only person I want and will ever want. You make me feel safe. You make me feel loved. And since I've met you, sweetheart, you've always been that person. My girl. I can't love anyone else. And, I don't want to. So, with that being said. Y/n, will you marry me?" Rafe moves from the chair, dropping down to one knee, pulling open the box, the Tiffany engagement ring, resting in the center.

Your eyes widen, hand covering your bright, ecstatic smile. "Yes!" You squeal in delight, making Rafe let out a happy chuckle as he glides the jewelry on your finger.

"Yes?"

"Yes! Yes, Rafe! Oh my gosh. I thought it was a necklace," you gasp as you eye the ring on your finger.

"I figured, when you tried to take it from me. I got nervous," he laughs warmly, guiding you to his lips. You smile against his kiss, Rafe doing the same.

"I love you, Princess."

"I love you too, Rafe Cameron.”

Bonus smut chapter 💕

Thank you so much for reading my short story! I hoped you enjoyed it 💕🩷

Miski 🩷

tag list and masterlist on my pinned post @starkeysprincess @rafesthroatbaby @gri959 @loserboysandlithium @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @akobx @darlydixon83 @hyperfixationgirl @savayvayblr-blog @oxpogues4lifexo @rafesgiirl @sleepiibunniiii

[nifreti-ii]

Reactions to Day 3 !!!SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS! EFF OFF IF YOU HADN'T PLAYED YET!!!!

Little blurbs from day 3

Mmm bbg, but bbg girl is more frustrated than usual

Nuh uh bean, dont care if its meant to be, that rabbit is being put down. It’s better to just put something out of its misery rather than letting it suffer (bombastic side eye)

THE ANIMATION JUMPSCARE :0 I was not expecting that nice touch :3

OH SHIT! Dont give a fuck about how sweet and caring this boy is, only known him 3 days. The second he yells at me I am in complete panic mode and running ( ✨trauma ✨but like no, the way I genuinely got scared fam) tbh my chest is still tight :<

Jelly fish huh… I bet it’s that immortal jellyfish. He’s not immortal (I assume) but long-lived so I can see it.

HA his disguise is so cute! He looks all bundled up omg. SO CUTE AAAAA THE LIL GLASSES AAAAAAAAAAAA. 

THE BLEP! THE BLEEEEP!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

OOOOH THE WAY I CLAPPED YESSSSSSSS!!! I wanna see you again sweetie omg! So CUTTTTE LAJKHWGDKLJAWHGDJKAGHW!

VIDA? They kind of look like alma? OH MYCHEAL MY HEART AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, he totally got jealous didn't he?

Second run

Oh boy he really is not happy, he’s being eaten up by his thoughts, just wanted to be a silly sleeve flapper :<

OH cutie! So cute when he laughs and smile UGH MY HEART!JKLHG (he’d be the cutest inmate) 

Cool weird word in his language ( I wanna know his real name) and cute lil ticklish mushroom boi (he’ll die of giggle) 

Cant knitt BUT I CAN CROCHET : D (What’s in the box, Mycheal.)

Jesus dude! Don't give me a love confession without the word love in it omg MY FACE!!.

Note, to effectively flirt with mycheal, refer to his appearance positively.  His language is cool and weird af, I like it. OMG HIS FACXE SO BLUE OMG A LIL BLUEBERRY AH!

(THEORY) oki, when we step into the mushrooms on the first day and pass out. Mycheal gives us a tea of some sort that gives us control of our body again. When he overdoses us on the brain effecting stuff, we get nausea the next. He gives us THE SAME tea from before and we feel better again almost immediately. AND THEN when we encounter the mushrooms again he gets MAD, yells at us mad. What if… The ring mushrooms are somehow associated with his species (we know through the blog that Mycheal HATES others of his species 0. 0) and maybe why he gets super territorial about them being in his portion of the forest. This green mushroom cutie intrigues me more and more.

[artsybug0]

Does actor Mille has a past like trauma?

Mmm…..Soon….Soon you’ll know✨

[cookie-crumblr]

Hype Train!

F! Streamer Reader x M!Yandere Streamer OC

Part 3~

His Info: 📹✨

Part: 1 2 3 4

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: Use of the name jasper🫡✨ (u no who u are soldier💀) !F reader, use of she/her when referring to reader, reader has a vagina, trauma related hallucinations, GORE, violence, murder, torture, kidnapping, blood, sadism, M! masturbation, pet names(good girl), not TOO smutty yet sorry i hope it’ll be worth it 🙈✨

You aren’t sure when you fell asleep… It’s nighttime, “Fuck!” You reach for your phone.

It reads 9:24pm.

You have to work in the morning, but you’ve slept all day, how are you going to get proper sleep now?

You look over at your microwave, the time is blinking 12:00.

“Hm… Power must’ve went out,” You speak out to yourself.

Hearing your own voice is always better than hearing none.

A loud *BANG!* on your door startles you, you lurch forward.

Is it them? “Oh god, no, No NO! I can’t go back!! I PAID YOU!! Please!!”

the banging continues, as you claw at your own head.

and then,

It stops.

Just as abruptly as it started.

You get up to take one of your emergency meds.

They’re so expensive…

You don’t take them as much as you should.

You sigh, and gulp it down.

You turn your computer on, and get ready to stream.

“AHH HAHA HAH,” Pleasured laughing all day long has rendered his vocal cords sore and hoarse.

Jasper gazes fondly over his work so far.

The man you’ve been meeting every month, sitting bound to a chair.

His screams have reduced into nothing but strained guttural noises.

He can’t handle much more.

Jasper did too much, too quickly.

He’s usually more methodical, but the way you make his heart burn, has him losing every strand of sanity in his body.

Squares of this brutes flesh have been removed, the facia torn to shreds.

His teeth have been ripped out.

Fingers snipped off joint by joint.

That wasn’t good enough, Jasper had seen the way he groped you.

The hands up to his wrists sawn off next.

He wrapped him up to stop the bleeding.

He shot him up with adrenaline.

But this—This pathetic thing, isn’t lasting nearly long enough.

Even for how long it’s been going on.

Jasper wanted to savor his pain longer.

So much longer.

He launches the knife like a dart, aimed straight at his head with a furious grunt. It flies through the air and enters dead on the bullseye.

“FUCK YOU! FUCK. YOU. FUCK YOU!FUCK YOU!FUCK YOU!” He pants.

The black handle sticks out of the man’s eye socket.

He lolls his drenched head back and forth, coughing up what’s left of his own blood.

How he isn’t dead is a wonder.

“Awww, doesn’t it suck SO much not being DEAD yet?”

He walks over to him, resting an arm on the wall behind the restrained man. He leans his face down to just above his level.

“Wish I could’ve taught ya a real lesson, you disgusting thing. Sadly I think your time is jus’ about-”

*PING* his blown out pupils slowly follow the air to his pocket where he slides out a phone.

You’re live-streaming!

His hand grasps the handle.

He gurgles out one last labored plea.

“I have to go now~” He shoves the blade back in one swift motion all the way through the man’s socket, and the tip breaks through the back of his skull hitting the grey cement wall behind him.

“and so~” He flips the blade, before another vicious jab into the same socket making the hole an “X”.

“do.” *Crack*! one more

“YOU.” Blood spurts onto him one last time, he doesn’t flinch.

Jasper’s face is now completely coated sticky, drying crimson.

“Mmm” he sighs contently. “I guess I’m done here.” A final pleasured chuckle leaves his chest.

He wipes his face with the back of his hand before whipping it toward the ground, flinging more spatters of blood around him.

He pulls up your stream up on one of the laptops, and puts a phone to his ear. The man’s blood is leaving little pools on everything Jasper touches.

He can’t care less.

He’s too engrossed, too mesmerized by your precious voice.

He quickly informs the cleaning crew on the phone of his location, and that he has spilled cake all over the floor… And walls…And ceiling… Everything really.

“Yes sir! we will send the heavy duty crew asap”

Without knowing it, you soothe him, his eyes flutter shut.

A hand slowly trails to groin as he deeply listens.

He types with the other; “Hey! how are you, Y/username?”

“Hai Jasper!!! I’m so happy to see you again!!”

“mmf” he grunts as his thumb presses down on his clothed lap. “Yess” he whines, “Say my name again”

“I’m good by the way! thanks for askin! How are you!”

He finds the button and unzips his pants with his eyes still closed picturing your actual face and replaying you saying his name again, and again, and again in his head.

He can’t even hear anything you’re saying, to anyone else.

“Good! Wanna hang later?” he types deftly, hoping you’ll call out his name again.

“Omg! Yes please, Jasper!” It’s so innocent, yet he’s still fading fast into a lusty haze.

“Haah! yeeeessss,” His palm wraps his length and squeezes. His thumb teases the tip, pressing down and then massages his glands. “Beg me! Yell my name!”

The blood is acting as lube as he continues to work himself, while one hand desperately clings to the table.

He’s losing his mind just imagining the possibilities; how wet he can get you, how well you’ll take his girth. You’ll be such a good girl, won’t you?

His imagination runs wild: “Harder, Jas-Jasper! M-more!” He can picture you begging, “P-please, please! Fill me, Jasper! Fill me!”. He wants you begging.

“YN!” A low grunt leaves his mouth as he climaxes, mixing white with the red splatters across the keys.

He’s not satisfied though.

You’re not in his lap.

The pain doesn’t subside, and the swell refuses to go down.

He covers his face with his hand.

“I can’t wait to have you…”

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Fall For You 🌸❤️

Summary; After Nancy breaks his heart for the last time Steve has enough and decides to branch out of Hawkins with you and Robin at his side, Travelling in a Winnebago.

Nights stargazing, camping and Steve seeking comfort in you lead to more... Your feelings deepen. You just don't know if he feels the same.

Warnings; angst, fluff, comfort, fwb relationship, smut, 18+, minors dni.

I don't give anyone permission to copy, reuse or repost my work.

Pls consider reblogging, liking, etc if you enjoyed this ❤️✨

❤️

It happened again.

Nancy had chosen Jonathan again. It's not like he shouldn't have expected it. How many times had it happened now?

He thought that after all the shit that had happened in the Upside Down that things would be different.

"It's always been you Nance," he told her about his fantasy involving her, the Winnebago, six little nuggets.

It wasn't enough, he felt like he wasn't enough, the same horrid sense of not being good enough fills him, like how he felt when Nancy and Jonathan got together after him and Nancy broke up.

The two main saving graces he had was Robin and you.

After staying a while to help with rebuilding the town after the earthquake caused by The Upside Down and Vecna's destruction by El, the three of you had left Hawkins.

It was just for a little while, to travel, see a bit more of the world outside of your little town in a Winnebago.

You and Robin were close anyway, just finished senior year together and you grew close to Steve since all the shit that went down last year.

There was a huge double bed in the camper van. The three of you took turns using it or would use the bunk beds, and talk well into the night.

It was a little awkward when dates were around, usually when one of you would bring a date home the remaining two would camp out under the stars to avoid any awkward encounters.

Well that being said there hadn't been much practice on that rule yet.

"Let's all camp out together. It's a beautiful night" Robin announces excitedly as she holds the hand of her date Elise who's very sweet, and adores Robin already.

"Yeah, it's romantic if you're on a date" you point out and Robin smiles and nudges you along beside Steve.

"You and Steve can look at the stars together, come on it will be fun. Ghost stories, roaring fire, pretty sky, Steve already got the tents and fire set up"

Buoyed by her enthusiasm you nod.

"Okay, okay. I'll get the marshmallows" Robin looks so delighted and it's nice watching her be so happy with her date and in general.

"Okay, okay" you join Steve who smiles at you.

"Hey, honey, guess we're a twosome tonight huh?" he motions you to sit on one of the logs that surround the fire, it's getting even darker outside and slightly chilly.

Robin goes first telling spooky ghost stories, anything that happened in Hawkins is off-limits, you're all trying to deal with the trauma entailed with what happened the last few years.

The four of you have flashlights and take turns in telling a story each, Elise's story is truly terrifying, a real story about the woods you're all in and a double murder.

Steve notices that you're shaking and he wraps his jacket around you, you give him a grateful smile.

💕💕

When you get in the tent there's just the one massive sleeping bag.

"Take the bed, I'll get some blankets, sleep on them" he assures you and you pat the bed.

"We're adults Steve, think we can share the bed and keep our hands to ourselves" you tease and he nods, turning his back as you get changed into your night clothes, he keeps his boxers and shirt on.

There's a funny tension in the air between you, it's been hanging around for a while now and you don't know what to make of it.

Steve is handsome, very handsome you've always thought that, the butterflies in your belly are new though.

Steve glances at you, noticing your furrowed brows.

"You okay sweetheart?" how can you tell him that just him laying beside you is giving you butterflies?

"Mmm," he props up on his shoulder and you know he doesn't believe you, his hand touches your shoulder, thumb grazing over it sending tingles over your body to your horror a small moan escapes your lips.

"Um, that was. I uh" you stammer but barely finish as Steve's eyes darken.

"That moan all for me honey?" you're pretty sure your brain goes haywire as Steve moves closer.

"What if it was? What are you going to do about it?" the words fall from your lips and Steve smirks, his lips meet yours and you kiss hungrily, he pulls you onto his lap and his hands cup your backside.

"Steve" you sigh as he kisses your neck, sucking at the skin, your hand's fist in his hair and you rock against him.

"Shit" he groans and you feel how hard he is, he takes off your nightshirt and strokes your cheek.

"You're so beautiful, do you want to do this sweetheart? We can stop if you want to?"

"Don't stop, I want this, do you?" he kisses you again.

"Fuck yes"

💕💕

When you wake up your body is entwined with Steve's, he kisses your neck as he wakes up and you turn to him meeting his lips.

"Steve that was" amazing you say in your head and Steve seems to read your mind.

"Mindblowing, it was a one-time thing though right?" he caresses your cheek, your stomach sinks a little bit but you nod.

"Yeah, one time".

It's a lie that you both tell yourselves until it happens again a few nights later.

And the night after that. Sneaking around so Robin doesn't notice. Stealing moments together, Steve buried between your thighs or you riding Steve until your both spent when Robin is out buying groceries for you all or exploring.

It's just sex though. You know that Steve still loves Nancy, sometimes he says her name in his sleep or you hear him mention missing her to Robin.

It sends ice through your veins and you try to hide how much it does hurt. Of course, he still loves Nancy, he's not gonna fall out of love with her in the space of a few months is he?

That's the crux of your first argument, you spend all day ignoring his flirty gazes, trying to fight these feelings that are brewing up inside you, as close as you are with Robin she's equally as close to Steve so you can't mention your feelings to her either.

It's annoying you that you can't switch these feelings off, bury them away and when Steve comes up to you while you're preparing dinner you are still brooding.

"Hey, you've been off all day? What's going on?" you shrug.

"I'm fine. Just because I don't want to have sex with you, Steve doesn't mean I'm in a mood or something. Maybe I don't want to be used you ever think of that?"

His eyes widen. "Use you? We've always been clear about what this is. I don't hear you complaining when I'm balls deep inside you"

His words make you fume even though he's right and you concentrate on dinner.

"Yeah, I'm very clear this is just a friends with benefits thing, Steve, so that means I can go on that date with Aaron then?"

Aaron was a guy you kept bumping into when you were in town, He was nice, funny and he had asked you out earlier this week.

At first, you said you'd think about it but if Steve doesn't care then maybe you should say yes. Steve's eyes flash dangerously and you wait for his response.

"Fine" he snaps irritated and stalks off.

Fine? He was fine with it. So it looks like you were going on a date tonight.

💕

Robin could sense a weird energy in the air ever since your date Aaron had come to join the three of them for hot chocolate and smores.

Steve was currently brooding and had been overprotective and tense since Aaron arrived.

She doesn't know what's going on. Every time Aaron touches you Steve stiffens.

He must be jealous. So does that mean he likes you? When did that start happening? She's confused, very confused and vows to keep an eye on things closely from now on.

💕

Steve tries to ignore the burning feeling in his gut but he can't, he's pissed and every time Aaron touches you it sends pulses of anger through him.

You laughing at the dickhead's jokes makes him even more irritated. He's relieved when the guy leaves.

As you're getting ready for bed he corners you, gently tugging at your arm.

"How did the date go?" he asks you and you shrug.

"It was fine. He was fine" Steve scoffs.

"Fine bet he got your panties wet at being just fine huh?" you roll your eyes. Could he be more obvious.

"Oh, my god. You can't even admit that you're jealous, can you?"

"You think I'm jealous of that douchebag? As if he can pleasure you like I can" his hands rest on the wall, at your sides.

"Arrogant much?" you huff and he leans closer to you twirling your hair around his fingers.

"No, I just know you, honey, I know what you're doing. Like you think that shithead could bother me?"

"Aaron asked me out on a second date I told him no but if you don't care then..." His jaw tightens and he gently tugs at your arm and a growl escapes his throat.

"I want you to tell that douchebag to clear off, you want the truth? I am fucking jealous and the thought of him near you drives me crazy alright"

Robin is out like a light on the sofa snoring loudly so he takes your hand and leads you into the bedroom.

It's risky, Robin could wake up at any time and you could be caught but that doesn't stop him from kissing you, hitching you up so your legs wrap around his waist and he fucks into you relentlessly against the wall.

You stifle your moans by burying your head into his shoulder, biting down on it. Waves of pleasure rock over you as he stills, a guttural groan issuing from him as he comes.

Breathing heavily he rests his forehead against yours.

"Tell him no please" he murmurs as he strokes your cheek.

"Why?" your heart is racing as you wait for his answer.

"Because I'm jealous and because you're mine"

❤️❤️

Something between you and Steve deepens after that night, your conversations last through the night, him lying in your bunk with you as the sun rises and you've both had no sleep but are smiling nonetheless.

Baking attempts with Robin that go awry as you attempt to make mega brownies and Cookies.

Movie nights where you fall asleep nestled into his chest after the credits roll and he and Robin continue talking.

The first time the two of you tried to have shower sex and it was so not how the movies showed it to be, though the two of you ended up breathless with laughter.

Listening with a smile on your face as he manages to communicate with Dustin via walkie talkie and his parting words melt your heart.

"Henderson? I miss you know" His eyes light up as Dustin says the same and you nearly tear up because their brotherly bond is so sweet.

Nights like tonight stick in your mind as you lay with him and Robin laughing at the names you make up for each star.

It's when Steve is grinning at Robin and his eyes catch yours, all soft and full of warmth that those three little words enter your head.

I love you. Stunned you get up, stumbling a bit, mind racing. Shit! Shit! Shit!

"You okay?" Robin asks you looking worried and you nod, faking a smile.

"Uh yeah, headache, think I need to lay down" you reassure her and Steve gets up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" you shake your head.

"Nah, stay out here with Robin. I'll be okay" You practically race inside and urge yourself to calm down.

Those three words were a timebomb, now that you knew how deep your feelings were you were screwed.

Why the hell did you have to fall in love with him when he could still love someone else? Would you ever compare to Nance in his eyes.

"It's always been you Nance" he told Nancy that, there was no use telling him how you felt because he wouldn't feel the same way you did.

It was a catch-22 because you didn't want to stop this thing you had with Steve but you didn't want to get your heart broken either.

What the hell were you going to do?

❤️

Steve joining you in bed wakes you at around four am.

"You feeling better honey?" he asks you as he kisses your hair.

"Not really" you mumble and turn around so you can cuddle into his chest. His heartbeat speeds up and you peer up at him.

"Your hearts beating really fast" he chuckles as you say this.

"Hmm, Sure it has nothing to do with the beautiful girl in my arms" The words are lovely and to your horror tears pool in your eyes, shit you needed to get a grip.

"Hey, he soothes what's wrong?" you make something up, tell him it's just your head but you can tell he doesn't believe you, he does pull you back down to his chest.

"You can tell me anything sweetheart. Is something bothering you?" the tears keep coming.

"I'm falling in love with you" His breath hitches as the words spill out and now they are out you can't take them back.

"What?" you sit up your stomach sinking, he runs his hand through his hair and you wait for his response and wait.

"Jesus... Honey, I... We" he stops and starts and you look away as the tears keep falling.

"It's okay, you still love Nancy, I know. Maybe you should go, Steve. Maybe we should stop this...us" He startles, swallowing hard as he stares at you.

"Stop?" it causes you pain you've never felt in your life but you give a firm nod.

"I'm not Nance, I'll never be Nancy or compare to her and I can't keep breaking my heart hoping you might feel the same, whe you don't"

Robin comes in at that point, chatting excitedly about a meteor shower, she freezes as she sees your tears and the look on Steve's face.

"Robin can I bunk in with you tonight?" you ask her and she nods as you race into the room and cry out all the tears.

"What the hell is going on?" you hear her question Steve and you borrow under the covers blocking out their voices and letting the pain take over.

❤️❤️

It's quiet, too quiet as the three of you have breakfast. Robin keeps looking between you and Steve and you figure he filled her in on what was going on or maybe she already knew deep down.

You hate this, the tension. This should be fun for Robin, fun for you and Steve but now it's awkward.

Maybe things would be easier for Robin and Steve if you went home for a little while. Just until things blow over?

Until your heart stops feeling like it's been split in two. What can you do though? You can't force Steve to feel the same way, he doesn't and you have to accept that.

With that decision in mind your head to your room and use the phone to call your parents. Turns out they are on holiday with their friends but you figure you could crash at home for a few days.

"Honey, you should have called sooner you could have come with us," your mother tells you.

When the conversation is done you head back out to tell Steve and Robin. Steve isn't there when you go to the kitchen and Robin explains he's went to clear his head.

"Uh. I'm gonna head back home for a little while" Robin's eyes widen.

"What no!! You can't. We're like the three musketeers, we can't split up. I get why you and Steve didn't say anything about what was going on, though to be honest I'm kinda hurt you didn't"

"We should have. I'm sorry Robin. It was just all so confusing and happened so fast, I fell in love with Steve and it's just a mess" She rushes over to hug you tightly.

"He's the world's biggest dingus" You smile at her words, you know she doesn't mean them she's just upset.

"I'll be back before you know it, I promise you" She still looks sad but perks up a bit, you squeeze her arm and begin to pack your heart heavy.

❤️❤️

Steve returns from his walk and finds Robin looking upset, he feels guilty for not saying about his relationship with you and made sure to tell her everything last night.

It still doesn't stop him from feeling guilty for keeping secrets though, she is his best friend.

"She's going back to Hawkins just so you know," Robin tells him and she takes his hand.

Something cracks in Steve's chest or at least it sure feels like it.

"For good?" he can't imagine not seeing you, the thought makes him feel sick.

"No for a little while. I don't want her to go but maybe it will be good for her. Maybe she might meet a nice guy or something, we can become a foursome on the road"

Robin's words hit Steve hard and the thought of someone touching you, making love to you, calling you his tightens the knot in his stomach.

He's not stupid, he knows how he feels about you but he's scared of getting so close to someone again because he's fallen for you more than he ever did Nancy and it's terrifying.

"You love her don't you?" Robin squeezes his hand and he nods.

"Yeah, I do" she looks exasperated.

"Then stop being a big dingus and go tell her or you'll regret you never did" he swears and gets up.

"Do you think I don't want to? I do but I'm terrified okay? Terrified because I'm in love with her, way more than I've ever loved Nancy and you know how much I loved Nancy, I'm scared I'll just get my heart stomped on"

She softens. "So you'd risk losing the person you pretty much just admitted is the love of your life because you're scared? I get it love is terrifying at times but it's also beautiful and sometimes you just need to suck it up and grab life by the balls" She looks confused. "At least I think that's the saying"

He smiles as she pats his arm.

"Don't lose her because you're scared Steve" He takes a deep breath and then heads to the bedroom knocking on the door.

"Can we talk?" he asks as you stop packing, you agree and he sits beside you.

"I don't want things to be awkward Steve, maybe if I go away for a bit then when I come back we can go back to normal"

"Back to normal? Just friends you mean?" you confirm this and he shakes his head.

"No, I don't want you to go anywhere and I don't want us to be just friends" This stops you in your tracks.

"Steve" you begin to say but he cups your face tenderly with his hands.

"I love you, sweetheart, I love you too" Your lip wobbles and you choke out a sob.

"I'm not Nancy though, I know I'll never measure up to her" he scoffs and looks deep into your eyes.

"No, you're not Nance. You're the love of my life and what I feel for you is more, so much more than what I felt for Nance, she was my first love, yeah but I want you to be my last"

He's crying softly now too and you kiss him, and he's kissing you back gently, then he moves to kiss your forehead.

"Stay" he pleads and you nod throwing your arms around him. Robin peeks her head around the door.

"You're staying?" she asks hopeful and you tell her yes through tears. Happy tears.

"Thank god! Now come on I need help making the pancakes" Steve stands up gesturing for your hand and pulling you in for a kiss.

"Come on, step to it lovebirds" Robin calls and you and Steve exchange grins as you head back into the kitchen to join her.

❤️

[styleandcheek]

What qualities do you look for in a guy?

Mmm. Kindness. Intelligence (and emotional intelligence). Am I attracted to him physically. Do we have similar humor/do I laugh when I’m with him. Can he be himself or does he feel the need to conform to what society deems “normal”. Is he a lil weirdo? Is he a lil freak 😏? Cool taste in music. Does he respect women (people in general)? His political views (no republicans thanks 🙅🏻‍♀️). Has he worked through some childhood trauma/does he respect and/or go to therapy. Does he take care of himself physically? Is he clean/care about his surroundings? Does he cook? Do animals like him? Does he want kids? Does he have friends and do I like them? Does he enjoy staying home and hanging out but also like going on adventures/traveling/trying new things. If I ask him his birthday or talk about the full moon 🌕✨is he a dick about it or cool about it? Does he have goals/ambition/hobbies. Can he keep up with my switching topics rapidly and other adhd qualities ✌🏻🙂‍↕️

[acourtofquestions]

Ugh I’ve been so MIA I hate it 😭🖤 but I finally got my hands on a book last night and I can’t even

🚨KoA kinda round up🚨 from the depths of a sleep deprived forgetful quick rambling tired soul fangirling

Aedion screaming please and I take it back as Lysandra stands as Aelin in front of a war

The witch towers with the yielding which is scaring the hell out of me

Aelin reuniting with Chaol seeing him walk and that hug cause healing

And then immediately recognizing Yrene and their moment

And then her and Hasar being the queens they are

Plus Borte being Borte and just so many great characters in one shot

And I’m just so proud of Elide

And guys please for the love of gods just go to Terrasen

And then you have the cadre in all their glory and the ways she describes them which cracks me up because it’s like “stern beautiful Rowan” “glowing golden Gavriel” “Fenrys darling” “miserable bastard Lorcan” and their dynamic I just can’t even🤣 like the two of them have the sibling dynamic down to a science of “we hate each other… but okay maybe not really I guess their fine”

But then they learn about Maeve and holy shit rip my soul out and slap me with it

And then Aelin crying to Rowan which killed a little bit of my soul and healed it to hear it put into words and then killed it again and then there’s her and Fenrys and Gavriel and Rowan

“IM SO SO TIRED ROWAN”🖤 (but also why are we having this talk on an ice covered river… guys drowning is a real issue, just like scoot back into the forrest please?)

“No one would have left you like that, no one”😭 (I did spend like 10 minutes on Reddit trying to figure out what the “do you want me to tell you about it” line meant but I’m pretty sure it was stuff like that😭)

🥺”We fight”🥹

Chaol and Yrene need to talk about the baby so they can celebrate for .5 seconds cause there both being adorable again

Also like is there a new third person view cause now chapters end like “2 minutes in someone chaol never expected walks in” but then 4 chapter later the convo starts & then halfway through someone walks in… it’s not even forshadowing its like a preview?

Also are all valg princes princesses?

But like where’s my babies where’s my 13 where’s my Manon? Where’s my Dorian? We need the king and witch queen! How about my flower child who’s all dopey and in love? But also like no news is good news? I WANT AELIN NOWHERE NEAR THE KEYS WITH HER DEATH PLOT THESE DAYS MMM NO and then I thought it was the 13 when the wiverns pulled up but no it’s a witch tour greatgreatgreat greatgreatgreatgreeeeeeaaattttt

And have I mentioned I’m dead inside and this book is my world and it’s falling apart but in the beautiful perfect kinda way that feels like watching deathly hallows again but better

Also like I’m waiting for Aelin to unleash a fire storm

And it’s Rhoe’s shield🥺🥹

So idk this is where we are today

Chapter 51 here I come let’s see what Lorcan and inevitably Elide are up to and try to do some better posting catch up since the sleep deprivation is at peak productivity and let’s hope all my bbs reunite for a few scenes now and not to die or something cause is that too much to ask

P.S. MOONBEAM🤣🤣🤣

And I love how he just like ✨KAPOW💥 shifts I mean minus the trauma portion but the dramatic light flash effect would make Rhys (our lil wedding crasher) proud

PS PS I still love Nox

[iwanttoleavethisblankbuticant]

little collection of my brain tangles, relating to my OCs that I previously abandoned… part 3

Headpats, Love, And Sickness

Some cozy domestic caretaking amongst my boys. TW: probably swearing, mentions of sex, trauma, crappy writing, not proof read, two sneezes. there are two sneezes…. Two. I should just become a whump writer at this point. Sneezes aren’t sneezing. Also I wrote this a few days ago while horribly sleep deprived and phasing in and out of consciousness. I barely remember what I wrote and it probably sucks. But ✨content✨

_________________________________________

"-hey, you okay?" 

Asher snaps back into reality at those words and the pat on his head. Hazy eyes look up at Mackie.

"Oh, yeah. Just a bit out of it." Asher responds finally, giving a sheepish grin. He blinks and tries to clear the fog from his vision. Asher takes in his surroundings, to ground himself and get his head straight. Knox was siting on the couch. Vex was sitting on the other side of the couch, far away from Knox. Mackie had been sitting between the two but was now standing beside him. Asher himself was sitting alone on the rocking recliner. 

"The meds are making you sleepy, huh?" Mackie guesses, a soft smile on his face as he looks down on his obviously not all there friend. 

"Mmm, more like… fuzzy." Asher mumbles. Blue eyes meet green eyes, then Mackie pats his head once more and goes back to his spot between Knox and Vex. There he sits, being a peace maker between hot heads and leaving Asher to rest. 

Asher doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but he knows when he woke up. Or, more so what he woke up too.

"Xchuu! Tchu!" He feels his body snap forwards twice before he’s even aware he’s sneezing. By the time he thinks through his clouded brain, his wrist is coated in a think layer of saliva. 

"Ugh…" Asher groans at himself. Then he swipes a tissue from the box tucked beside him. He cleans his wrist up, then his irritated nose. Once he’s gotten hisself somewhat under control, Asher looks up at the rest of them. They’d all moved slightly. Mackie was leaning into Vex, and Knox was reclined on his seat of the couch. Vex had stopped playing video games with Knox and Mackie, now opting to read his book. Still, the room had that same comfy feel to it. No one seemed to mind his fit of sneezing. He was just there. And Asher was fine with it. Honestly, this felt better to him then how he spent most of his Friday nights. This was better then being naked in bed with a stranger, smelling of booze and not remembering how he got there. Just going through the motions. Letting his body be pleasured as his mind was numbed and dulled. This was better then that. Just being in the presence of friends while feeling a bit under the weather. The soft crinkle of paper as Vex closes his book. The clicking of buttons on Mackie’s and Knox’s switches. The tune that Mackie hums under his breath subconsciously. All these sounds are the sounds of home, not some random stranger’s moans. 

Asher got so caught up in his own thoughts he didn’t realize that Vex had closed his book so he could get up and got to the kitchen. Mackie was moved to Knox’s side and Vex stood and walked to the kitchen. There was the clink of metal and after a while the screech of a kettle. Soon Vex reentered the living room, two cups of tea in had. In his way to his own seat, he sets one of the cups in the coffee table near Asher. Without a stop in his strides he goes back to his spot on the couch. Not a word on the kind act he just did, not a look. Asher had realized this is how Vex is nice. He does stuff for other’s physical. His words always sing one tune, but his actions have always sung a much softer melody. 

Asher smiles to himself as he drinks the tea, it soothing his throat. To spare Vex the embarrassment, he doesn’t thank him out loud. Vex had obviously not wanted Mackie’s and Knox’s attention on him. So Asher shoots him a quick text of thanks, and continues drinking his tea. He had made love plenty of times, but he felt more loved now then ever.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~somewhat angsty NY headcanons because I love to torture him (purely out of love)~

=======================================================================

-if he gets pinned down in a fight, there is chance that he will panic, cuz it reminds him of how Britain used to pin or restrain him before beating the he// out of him.

The first time anybody found out was in a sparring match that York got into with Texas. Texas had York pinned on the ground with his arms above his head and his knee on the smaller’s chest, not knowing that York was starting to panic and have flashbacks to Britain beating the crap out of him. So ofc when York started sounding more and more desperate and panicked every time he told Texas to get tf off of him, it left the Lone Star State a bit confused. When he got off, York immediately curled up in a ball and had a pretty bad panic attack, but was on calmed down by his brothers. He also made sure to reassure Texas that he did nothing wrong.

-sometimes when York needs alone time, he will teleport to NYC and just sit at the top of a tall building and cry alone whilst listening to music, drinking whatever liquor he brought with him, and staring off into the distance

-he has some SA-related trauma from his ex-bf. His ex did some non-consensual…..things to him, and always yelled at York and hit him for the stupidest and smallest things. So umm….. of course he ain’t around anymore :)

-one of the scars he has is from a type of blade that was not for him, and that was for more magical beings like Mass and Loui. After he got stabbed, there was a lot of black stuff surrounding the wound and black bile mixed with blood coming out of his mouth. He was definitely not having a good time. So he now has a weird-wonky star-shaped looking scar on his upper stomach (and like the 9/11 scar, he also pretty insecure about it).

-he has frequent absence seizures and that often results in him not listening to another person during a conversation and them having to repeat whatever they said.

-I have now decided that he has an autism assistance dog named Nico that helps him when he’s getting too worked up and/or overstimulated, and a mobility assistance dog named Kodi that helps him with his slight balance issues. Both dogs do their jobs well, and York loves them both a lot.

-because of the pollution in his state that is traveling from the Canadian wildfires into his state, and because of the pollution that was already there, he chokes on his own air a lot, and sometimes it gets so bad that he coughs up blood

-kinda related to the hc above, York has asthma, which makes the pollution situation 10x worse

-by the time the Civil War had happened, York had seen SO much war, at such a young age, that he seemed to have became immune to it in some sense. He would just kill enemies left and right without barely batting an eye and with barely any emotion on his face, and it honestly scared the sh*t out of some of the other states and enemies.

-Soooo…..I found out that Melanie Martinez was born in New York, so I’ve now decided that he listens to her music and kinda relates to some of it (not really sad, but I just wanted to put that out there)

-school was incredibly stressful for him, despite him being really smart. It was mainly cuz’ the people he went to school with, and some of the teachers he had, were absolute *$$holes

-whenever he’s really going through it, he will push others away and completely reject any help that was offered

-because of the abuse and war he went through, he somehow gained the mindset that if he gets hurt, even if it is incredibly serious and painful, he should just get tf up and continue doing what he was doing, no matter what. This man could be spontaneously bleeding out and have a broken arm, and would still try to get up and do stuff

-he has 100% fell through ice into freezing cold water, gotten himself out, and continue doing whatever he doing even though there’s the chance that he was hurt and had possible hypothermia, and he has definitely passed the f*ck out whilst telling Mass or whoever that he was fine and didn’t need medical attention.

[soy-un-desastre]

Te gustan las nudes de los hombres que te han enviado alguna vez? O son muy meh?jaja

Mmm... Pues dos tres. Las primeras que recibí cuando era más chica no me gustaron nada. Quizá por eso no sea tan fan del sexting (traumas jaja) Pero las últimas veces no han estado tan mal, supongo. Lo que sí es que los vatos son terribles tomando nudes, prefiero mil veces las de las chicas. 💕✨

[testosterone-vape]

Good morning!

I woke up before 1 pm again which is good!! I’ve been trying to break myself out of sleeping late cause I feel like garbage when I do…it’s just hard to know the difference between being allowed to take care of myself and being forced to be ok cause ✨trauma✨

And now that I’ve been up for a solid 2 hours I’ve put up the flag I wanted on my door and made some tea and gotten lazy dressed :):)

I still have to take my meds and put on my gel but I can do that in a few minutes after I finish my tea, I should also probably stretch for a bit since my shoulder and hips have been bothering me…mmm also after tea

Also need to charge my v*pe and maybe do some more research about where I wanna move eventually…and call back Dunkin for that job and the dispensary too…ugh capitalism 🤮

Best, xoxo 💋

[nebulastarss]

Mmm war stories. Love me some ✨trauma✨

[sunkingwrites]

goooood morning.. 💕 mm I’m so sleepy still- gonna make myself some coffee and then hopefully my stomach doesn’t get upset with the amount of cookies I plan to eat for breakfast 😙

anywaaaays, I’m gonna be cooking a lot today because it’s almost someones birthday and like the good roommate I am I gotta cook their favorite foods~ oh but but I was catching up with bnha before I went to sleep last night (pls I swear I slept when you told me to) but then my roommate came in and.. stole my laptop? I mean I didn’t mind because I was having a mental breakdown over the recent episode,, but now I’m concerned what they did because all they said was “I need le minecraft.” and left 🥲

and I finally finished the firewatch shinkami fic- why tf is it so good??? awhkjhdiuhoina I kept getting distracted noticing the little elements in the writing but it just made it so captivating 😭

oH OH AND- I finally finished what I had left for my college projects and sooo I don’t have anything to do for the next 2 days.. unless *cough* anyone *cough* wants to do me 🥺/j

jokes aside I was crying this morning because I also finished chapter 5 of the song of achilles and we got a background check on one of the characters and I swear I could see the mommy issues shining through 😔

OK NOW IM JUST RANTING OF WHAT IVE BEEN DOING HJQSDKJKWFDKJJNKASD- I can’t get discord to open so that’s why I’m sending an ask tho 🥲

oh oh and my mind just suddenly filled with questions last night and it wont stop bothering me lol I dunno why… they’re so random tho- although I’m very curious on the one reason we know each other: how did you find my blog? It’s just a lingering question that I always wonder when someone follows me hehe- I mean,, I’m very glad you found me because holy shit— 😭 I remember how you were freaking out because I followed you back- that was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life tbh (we’ve been mutuals for well over a month ayo??)

anyways I’m gonna stop my intrusive mind from dumbing more stuff here so I don’t clog up your asks.. I hope you have a great great day, and I will send you kisses and updates of what I cook and uhh shit I do! on discord this time hehe… well unless food pics are not something you like then I’ll just spam you with random shit I do-!

mwah mwah~ ✨

Dude,, IF YOU MADE FOOD FOR MY BIRTHDAY I WOULD FUCKING CRYYY

Ohhhh my godssshfjsmck the fucking shinkami fic,, IT HAD NO RIGHT TO BE THAT GOOD- I WANT TO GET THAT GOOD AT WRITING AJJCNSNNF but like,, I was so fucking close to crying?? MultiPLE TIMES??? AND LIKE ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WHEN DENKI WAS RUNNING TO THE TOWER,, AND I THINK IT'S SO COOL THEY ADDED ACTUAL BNHA LORE WITH THAT OTHER ASSASSIN HERO LADY AND THAT THEY COULD EXPLAIN DENKI'S LEGS DOING THAT NSKDJSBBFBDB

just-- so fucking good-

Mmmm,, we love mommy issues-- just love love love that for us~ No but like, characters with mommy issues are always too relatable to write aghh- LIKE STOP HAVING MY THOUGHTS PLEASE,, I UNDERSTAND I HAVE TRAUMA JUST LEAVE MEH ALONE

..if you couldn't tell- I had sugar-- remember that boba tea icecream I sent you a photo of in the superstore a while back? Yeah well I bought it today at Walmart and now it's almost gone,, and and I also got an ube icecream too, and Marmo hAtEs it- but I like it and I already knew that I would-- and now I wanna make an ube, vanilla milkshake aahhhh yum yum,, obviously not tonight-- maybe tomorrow if I can???

Okay okay and,, as you know my remember is full of shit so this miGHt be wRoNg- but I'm pretty sure I saw.. mmm I think a writing post first- maybe cuz it aligned with one of my tags?? Then I was like "oooh, I wonder if this person has anything else written for this character-?? Lemme seee~"

so then I would've found your master list post and I liked the vibe of it,, so then I'm pretty sure I just started scrolling through and randomly liking shit-?? I was still like a week new on tumblr so I was desperately looking for people to follow and get some more content flowing through my dash and to interest with--

Thennn, I think it was that composition you had posted that kinda embodied your anxiety that got me hooked,, cuz I kept listening to it on loop- so then I felt like I had to comment about getting it on Spotify,, since my family has a premium plan it's the place I usually get my music,, AND THEN I saw the picrew and I was just gONe cuz I fucking love making picrews and yours looked so cool and you just seemed like you'd be a fun person to talk to.. and then I shared mine with you and just kept talking and uhhh- yeah! That's what's up!! ✨✨

-also also you're birthday on twitter says it's the 28th- so I thought that was funny xD

[enchantechante]

Anons ex sounds like needs to grow up.I hope they understand that if they don't want to remain friends with their ex after being treated in such a way then they most definitely aren't obligated to do so. They did nothing wrong at all.I hope they go where their love is celebrated, appreciated and reciprocated.Too many people in the world have no one to show that they care let alone care about the decisions they make with their life/make suggestions for them to live and do better.

I think dealing with divorced men,or just any man in general,ladies should be careful.Men are already very complexed but a man who's been married before when you haven't can definitely make things more complicated.I was once with a man married twice previously, everything I said he turned into an argument and anything I suggested for him to do to live better was me telling him what to do or trying to be his mother(so he says).

Some men don't deserve the love that's being giving or shown to them.They are so use to being uncared for ,doing what they want when they want etc.Let him go and continue to or start to focus on you.

If he comes back and one day you two decide to give things another go then do so...but for now,you two are on different pages.You have his best interest in mind and he wants to be stubborn and do things when only he feels like it and doesn't want to be called out on what he's clearly lacking.

You can do better...and you will.

Mmm - I hope Anon reads these!

I see what you're saying here. Linking ppls actions to their passed trauma is advanced work (and none of my business 🤷🏽‍♀️). Like you said - things are complex. We'll never truly know what leads to peoples disagreeable behavior.

Esp from a couple of quick lines in a mssg.

But yes - they do tend to come back eventually. She sounds like she did what she was supposed to do - so this could just be a blessing in disguise. She's clearly ahead of him - the break up could possibly be confirmation.

Who knows?

But I hope Anon makes meaning of this time of healing for herself. 🙏🏽✨