#like who are you following to see enough posts about not liking kabru to make a response post

[dilact]

I don't usually watch things as they come out or engage with the larger fan base of most things I enjoy so it's a strange feeling when I see the iceberg of bad takes from other dungeon meshi watchers

[prismatoxic]

chilchuck tierlist of babysitting fentripp, people who he absolutely knows he can count to not kill his child and people who he knows will end up doing something wrong (even if by accident)

GOOD QUESTION ANON

the original post about my chilaios fankid, fentripp, for anyone who didn't see it

anyone who isn't here hasn't offered or chilchuck hasn't considered. however i can be persuaded to add more entries with compelling arguments for them

S TIER

Kabru - follows the rules to the letter. will have fen fed, bathed, taught, played with, and asleep by all the exact right times. if anything diverges from the plan, it's because fen is a goblin, not because kabru did anything wrong. fen likes when kabru reads to him, he does funny voices.

Senshi - follows his own ideas of what's best, but shockingly good at it nonetheless. very careful, and considerate, and makes sure he knows where fen is at all times. fen likes him a lot and they always have a really good time together.

Meijack - doesn't want kids of her own, but is pretty good with them anyway, and she's extremely protective of her little brother. knows exactly what chilchuck expects, and also has a pretty good sense of what he'd approve of when instructions are unclear. strikes a perfect balance of making fen have so much fun that he doesn't realize no mischief is actually being caused.

A TIER

Laios - tends to stray off the beaten path a little, but will always defer to his husband so he's never gonna get too wild with it. he also loves fen more than life itself and won't intentionally put him in any manner of harm's way, no matter what. maybe doesn't count as a babysitter since he's literally fen's other dad, but as far as chilchuck is concerned, anyone outside of himself is a risk if he's not also there, so.

Falin - fen is obsessed with her, and the feeling is more or less mutual. she loves him so, so much. but... she's also maybe not chilchuck's ideal as far as babysitting goes, because she's extremely susceptible to the puppy eyes. can drop down to d tier for a few weeks if fen manages to lead her on some batshit adventure, but generally speaking, chilchuck trusts her.

Yaad - similar to kabru in his ability to follow chilchuck's guidelines to a T, and fen does seem to like him, but he's not always fully prepared for what caring for a young child entails. still, he's a decent enough choice, if he's available.

Dandan - weirdly good at this. chilchuck left the guild to him for a reason--dandan's got a good head on his shoulders, something that's only become more true over time--but "babysitting" wasn't a skill chilchuck anticipated him having. he might shirk responsibility from time to time, but in a "alright, you can stay up an extra hour" way, not a neglectful way.

B TIER

Marcille - fen is safe with her, and she'll do her best (and so very badly wants to be the best aunt ever), but she tends to overthink things and can get distracted easily. also, the older he gets, the angrier fen gets if she mentions magic, because he thinks elves are abusing the spirits. (she tries to default to gnome magic around him but he still side-eyes her for a while. don't worry, they bond properly when he's more self-sufficient.)

Namari - a little nervous about caring for a kid by herself, but she's actually really fond of fen. she does most things right, and chilchuck's not necessarily ideologically opposed to her teaching his son dwarfish swear words, but she's more interested in having fun than being a guardian so she's not the perfect choice.

C TIER

Flertom - perfectly decent, most of the time. loves getting to care for a child (desperately wants her own someday). can get a little sidetracked playing pretend-mom, though, and doesn't always have the best ideas for what to do, which doesn't always end well.

D TIER

Puckpatti - way too scatterbrained for this job, and also way too eager to goof off in whatever way fen indicates he thinks would be fun. she's alright with her sisters since they tend to override her poor decisions and keep her on track, but by herself, she's a last resort.

Izutsumi - basically an older sister to fen, but this is rarely a good thing. he loves her and they have great fun together, but leaving them alone is a recipe for disaster, and even kabru's had to step in and shut the idea down officially. "don't put me in a position where i have to explain how a cat and a toddler burned down an entire castle wing."

F TIER

Shuro - not good with kids. actively kind of scared of this one in particular. will agree if asked, but that's because he's bad at saying no, and chilchuck doesn't intend to ask. (and laios needs to stop thinking it'll work out for anyone.)

Mickbell (& Kuro) - only offered to be a nuisance, or at least that's what chilchuck assumes. kuro might be able to handle it on his own in a pinch, maybe, but there's no point trying to peel him and mickbell apart when there are so many better options.

Mithrun - with kabru? passable. by himself? absolutely the fuck not.