#likely his redemption arc would come from no longer being a vampire. but idk where he would go. and i really dont care to write it tbh

[dearlydarlingdahlia]

Holding Out for a Hero

I changed the direction of Taste of Sweetness almost entirely. It's no longer funny. It's serious. Chapter six made me cry! We are officially at 14k words now and we are not done with part 1 of 3. Woops!

I went on my long walk early this morning and I was listening to Holding Out for a Hero from Shrek 2 (best movie ever). I absolutely love the instrumentals in that song and how epic it feels! I also love how the villain fairy godmother lady is the one singing it after she made it so that the heroes couldn't enter the party (or whatever it was at the end). It's almost like a 'haha fuck you heroes.' This song is literally so good, men should strip to this shit!

I swear to god, this song is about the original dragonborn durge (who I named Vincent) returning to his love Enver Gortash. The song literally says the hero needs to be 'strong' and 'larger than life.' Vincent is 6'8" and over 300 pounds. Enver Gortash is supposed to be tall too, but Vincent is bigger.

The lyrics also refer to the hero as a 'white knight upon a fiery steed.' Vincent is a white dragonborn. His friend Andie can cast Phantom Steed for him to ride.

There are also lines like 'racing on the thunder' and 'lightning that splits the sea.' Vincent is a storm sorcerer!!

Damn, I've been listening to this song on repeat and I'm going nuts! I've been imagining Vincent doing a strip tease to it and making his pecs bounce.

I told my husband that the party is going to storm Wyrm's Rock Fortress to kill Enver Gortash. Gortash would be singing the song sarcastically because he misses his ex (Vincent) and how they used to be evil together.

My husband suggested that it would be funny if Orin was the one singing it and she was holding Gortash hostage, so Vincent needs to save him. I loved that but idk if I can keep Enver alive if I don't know how I'm going to redeem him if he's mainly only going to be in act 3. I could come up with something though. Like maybe he realizes the flaws of his plan when he's playing 5D chess in his mind with himself.

Inspired by the song 'Holding Out for a Hero', I've decided to embrace the concept I had, where the party is full of evil people, and they want to try to be good. So far they're only a party of 3: Vincent (compulsive murderer who lost his memories), Astarion (vampire rogue), and Andie (illusionist who worked in psychological torture). After getting tadpoled, all of them have unexpected freedom to choose who they want to be. They cope with the guilt of their past crimes by trying to be good. I might actually rename Taste of Sweetness to Taste of Redemption.

Originally, I wanted Taste of Sweetness to be chill and lighthearted because I just wanted something to warm my heart since I wasn't feeling great. However, I've been writing it very chaotically and spontaneously. I wrote an emotional chapter, and I liked it a lot. My husband said it made him 'feel something', which is high praise coming from him.

I recently decided that Andie's healing arc this time is going to involve coping with leaving a cult (the cult of Lolth). I've been wanting to write more about cults and the emotional experience of being in one and leaving one for a while, so I'm excited to finally have the opportunity. We'll see how much I deliver. So far, I've touched upon ideas like never feeling enough to the cult leader, constantly needing to prove her loyalty, and feeling guilty for leaving even if she knows she had to. I definitely need to go in harder though. Hopefully I'll be brave enough to go deep.

[livlepretre]

Ooh, let’s talk character interpretation! I have two questions, but they are both long, so I am going to do them in separate asks.

1.) I’m of the opinion that The Originals portrayed Klaus as a father in a way that doesn’t line up with how he actually is. I think that had more to do with the fact that it was a CW show, and they wanted a redemption arc for the character. Obviously they weren’t going to go for anything that could be misconstrued as actual child abuse- I.e verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. How do you think that Klaus with a child would actually be? Elena would protect her children at all costs, so I know she would take care of any problem she saw arising with Klaus’s parenting skills, but let’s for arguments sake say that Elena and her survival skills don’t factor into this. Klaus grew up dealing with every type of child abuse in the book. Her was demeaned, belittled, and physically beaten, and we know this is what started his psychological issues. I totally agree with your FE interpretation of the Mikaelson incest problem and the fact that it all stems from Klaus and his power issues. He wants to control Rebekah because he wants her to stay and love him above all and manupulation through sex factors into that. Sadly, this dynamic is a problem in the real world, and is extremely unhealthy, vile, and illegal—especially because Rebekah is around a decade his junior and permanently stuck in the mindset of a teenage girl (side note: I remember in FE, Rebekah says she gave her virginity to him. I’d love to hear your take on how that line was crossed and how many years after they had become vampires that this happened. It is certainly a moral line that is hard to cross, although they were born in the 10th century.) Klaus also won’t hestitate to hurt his family emotionally and physically when they upset him whether this is killing their loved ones or daggering them. I guess I just want to know if you think Klaus-who remembers being an abused child- would ever continue this pattern of behavior with a child of his own and if so, would there be lines he would refuse to cross? I feel like he wouldn’t intentionally start out doing abusive things (like how he didn’t immediately start abusiving his sibilings), but once he loses his temper and does something once, the lines of what he is willing to do get blurry. He’s definitely not a stable individual and is a creature of habit- especially when he starts to feel as though he isn’t being respected or when he gets ignored from those he wants to love him. Finally, do you think there would be a huge difference between Klaus raising a boy or girl? We saw how Marcel turned out (also, the dynamic between Rebekah and Marcel when she started out as an Aunt figure and turned into a romantic partner is something that I feel like was strange and very Klebekah in the 1920s weird where it was clearly there but no one ever chose to expand on it or even mention it in the narrative? But I digress!), and Klaus is clearly threatened by the fact that Marcel grew up and was able to take over Nola despite the fact that Marcel was just doing what Klaus taught him. He sees Marcel as a threat, but if he had a daughter, I feel like he would end up treating her sort of in a Rebekah like manner where she isn’t ever really viewed as a threat, just a girl throwing a trantrum. Idk, there is just so much to think about here and immortality definitely screws with your perception of what’s okay and what isn’t. I’m very curious to see how you think all this would play out long term.

You’re spoiling me with these questions and I pretty much agree with your thoughts on Klaus’s general fucked-uppery. 

I’ve put a great deal of thought into “Klaus as a parent,” both because of the show, and because of ficcish things. I think he’s acutely aware of all of the ways that his own father failed him, and so he would be actively really determined to have the kind of relationship with his own child that he never had with his father. His intentions there would be good, and probably better than his intentions with his siblings, since a child is a more direct extension of himself, but the question would be whether he is actually capable of being a good parent. It’s true that victims of childhood abuse often end up tragically rehashing the same patterns with their own children, but it’s equally true that many are able to break the cycle. I tend to think that Klaus would actually be exceptionally good with his children while they were still children. He shows in canon that he was very good with talking to Marcel and making him feel valued when he was a little boy still-- Klaus empathizes very well with children, and I think while he has tremendous difficulty understanding the emotions of others, at least when they are not mirrors of how he would feel, his own experiences of feeling neglect and belittlement and fear as a child would guide him in how to make a child feel loved, heard, special, etc. And of course, a child is able to give a parent the sort of unconditional, center-of-the-universe love that Klaus craves. The problem would come about in the transition from childhood to adolescence. His problems with Marcel, for example, stem from Marcel becoming a young man with ambitions and interests of his own-- no longer idolizing Klaus, no longer his shadow and perfect companion, but instead someone testing boundaries and breaking away. 

How Klaus handles a teenage and later an adult child is a more complicated question. Yes, I think he would ultimately have an easier time with a female child, because Klaus is a misogynist and could therefore slip into a familiar dynamic of treating that child as a pet-- he could shower her with gifts and affection and never take her too seriously, much like Rebekah. A boy would inevitably grow into a rival, I think... or, almost inevitably. Whether or not the son even construes himself as a rival would be irrelevant if Klaus decides he’s a rival. It’s that same problem as with Marcel all over again-- if he stays by Klaus’s side, it’s not an issue, but if he pursues his own life... The son thing is also hard, because that son would inevitably be, to Klaus, a direct reflection of himself, and I’m convinced that Klaus would desire nothing more than to create the kind of father/son relationship he badly desired... and so the expectations and pressures would be tremendous for a boy. 

There’s a big question to address along the lines of: would Klaus treat his adolescent/adult children the way he treats his siblings? It seems to me like the essential difference between sibling vs child relationships would be that Klaus, an actual narcissist, would inevitably see his children as extensions of himself, whereas his siblings each represent the greatest threats to his ego, his power, and his image of himself. He therefore exerts control over them, especially Rebekah, who is the easiest for him to control (as both the youngest and the only female, and also, since she is the most insecure and I would argue traumatized of all of them). He’s high-handed to the extreme, daggering them whenever he so chooses, therefore controlling whether they even get to actually live, deciding on which lovers are acceptable for Rebekah (and sometimes his brothers), dragging them all over the planet, lying to them all for centuries on end... the list goes on. There’s a lot of interpersonal violence there, but I would say that the one line he never crosses is that he never kills them-- because in his head he’s justified it as “I’m daggering this sibling for their own good” etc etc. (It’s interesting also to note that his siblings would be just as fast to dagger him should the opportunity arise.) Would he have the same need to exert his dominance over his children? Because, as father, his power over them is the natural order of things (especially in his medieval head). Whereas, amongst his siblings, yes, he’s the most special, but he’s also the third son and suffers from middle child syndrome, so it’s more about wresting power from the rest of them. Never underestimate how deeply medieval the thinking of each of the Originals is-- things like birth order definitely matter, and that’s definitely part of Klaus’s familial chaos. 

The strongest point of tension I could predict between Klaus and his children would be at the point when they are old enough to wish to exert their independence from him as individuals. I question whether Klaus would ever see that though, or be able to let them go. I think there could be an inevitable slide into methods of control-- lying “for their own good,” killing a daughter’s suitors to keep her from leaving the nest... no matter what, he would probably prefer for his child to find interests that kept them close to him. 

In terms of physical violence, I’m up in the air about that. It’s possible he could lose his temper and strike out at a child-- although, the more I think about it, the more I think that’s not how he lashes out so I don’t think that would be the issue. He daggers his siblings a lot but we don’t see him torturing them physically (I don’t think? I could just be blanking). There are times when they come to blows, but we see that with Damon and Stefan all the time... and that might just be a vampire thing in general. Most of what he does to them is really psychological torture/abuse and when he does have a violent fit, he tends to take it out on  those around the object of his furor, like every single one of Rebekah’s lovers whom he murders, or Katerina’s family. What would be the equivalent of daggering that he could do to his child? Lock him up in a dungeon? (lol if it’s Elena’s child, GOOD LUCK.) Maybe some other threat to hold over their heads? This would be totally situational though. I think he would be deeply regretful of ever striking his child (doesn’t entirely mean he wouldn’t, in the heat of the moment), but could justify other methods like imprisonment pretty easily. 

I think that just leaves the last awful stone to turn over: the incest. I don’t even know what to say about the Mikaelsons other than that there is definitely an incest issue in that whole family--  but especially with Klaus and Rebekah-- and honestly at this point Rebekah’s incest vibe with Marcel just sells their relationships to me even more. Of course she’s transposed that fucked-uppery onto Marcel. Like you mentioned above, and like I’ve developed in Fairytale Ending, Klaus’s incest with Rebekah is definitely a power thing with him-- he’s not in love with Rebekah, but she is his special favorite-- and part of that is that she’s the sibling he can control, through sexual dominance and appealing to her abandonment issues and insecurities (in a wild feedback loop with his own abandonment issues and insecurities). It’s awfully telling that the only lover he actually lets her have is Stefan... because Stefan is so clearly also his lover. (And that when faced with Rebekah x Marcel, he chose to dagger her and shelve the issue of oh no! I can’t kill my son! until it was no longer an issue) 

Personally, I don’t think there would be any parent/child incest issues with Klaus-- his incest problems don’t stem directly from his parent/child trauma, and we never get a hint of incest between him and Marcel, so, at least we can breathe a sigh of relief in this one facet of Klaus-as-father--  but I do think if he were to have multiple children he would be very suspicious of them and very hunted by the idea of their incest. 

I think that sums up my thoughts on Klaus as a parent/the possible ways he would fuck it up? 

I do think there’s a possibility it could go well-- obviously I daydream most about what a Klaus x Elena parent team would look like, which might actually work. As you said, Elena would cut any nonsense out right away. But also, I think that Elena is a true equal for Klaus, and one of the things about finding a real equal is that it lends itself to partnership-- which is what Klaus would need in a co-parent. Someone who could balance him and strengthen the parts of him that could be good at being a parent. His siblings definitively did not do that-- Elijah wasn’t interested enough, and Rebekah is ultimately too immature-- but Elena has a shot. So, despite all the ways it could go to non-proverbial hell in a handbasket, I think with the right circumstances-- a partner who would voluntarily choose to stay at his side, for example, thus eliminating so much of his neediness and extenuating control issues-- he could deal with that shift from child to adolescent to adult much better, and that foundation of a very strong parent/child relationship during the first decade or so could really help Klaus and his child’s relationship withstand any later turbulence. (Also, with Elena around as a co-parent, I kind of think instead of grooming a child to be some sort of feudal lord who could become a threat to Klaus’s sphere of power, she would encourage her kid to be... like... a veterinarian or something normal. And having that strong female role model would also go a long way toward forcing Klaus to give up his “over-bearing father to my precious jewel of a daughter” schtick....) So maybe my actual stance is “Klaus would be a terrible single-father, but he might be okay if he’s not the only parent in the picture/he has an adult meeting and grappling with his issues in a long-term committed relationship” 

(I think the final you asked about were my thoughts on Rebekah/Klaus in the FE timeline, which is basically just my headcanon in general... so, to start off, I don’t think the incest would have ever happened had they remained human. I think it’s a direct result of the trauma and psychosis they all experience from their transformations into vampires, which reifies all the problems they had as humans and exponentially makes it worse. And also, like you said, immortality seriously fucks with concepts of right vs wrong. Like, part of what’s wild is that nowhere in the canon does it say that vampires have to be monsters... it’s just that needing human blood to survive quickly turns into hunting humans, which turns into a psychological barrier between the vampire and humans... which eventually transforms them into monsters, callous, cold, playing with their food, hunting humans for sport, arbitrarily pulling them apart because they’re bored. So, becoming a vampire doesn’t instantly make one into a monster, but it does seem to inevitably precipitate becoming one down the line, and it’s just a matter of how fast the vampire arrives at that destination. To get back to the incest question, my thought was that the Originals would be already well down that road-- years past the death of their mother and fleeing their father, living as savages enslaved to their appetites and their flights of fancy, when that shift would occur between Klaus and Rebekah. Because by that point, what can possibly still be taboo? They’d already divorced themselves from their humanity, their inherent sense of “right” vs “wrong,” certainly any cultural understanding of it, so thoroughly that the barrier between sibling and lover must have felt thin and insubstantial as a bit of mist. I’m sure they were gradually heading that way for a while-- Klaus probably clung to Rebekah hardest of all, and Rebekah was so traumatized that telling the difference between different kinds of love would have been truly difficult. When I think about how long this might have taken, I imagine probably only about a decade-- long enough that it wasn’t immediate (they were still young, and time would have still passed at a human rate for them), but not long that Rebekah would have a chance to really start looking at all the men who might be potential lovers for her. It’s possible in fact that her interest in a human man could have precipitated Klaus changing things up with her. (And it’s very much explicitly about Klaus wanting to be #1 with Rebekah-- I think he slept with Tatia Petrova as a human, and I think he was sleeping around a good deal-- probably in a lot of gruesome ways, actually-- in that time before Rebekah became his lover.) What’s interesting to me here is that none of the other siblings-- especially Elijah, because Kol is shifty as fuck-- ever seemed to object. They just... accepted it? Rolled with it? That, to me, really demonstrates how deeply screwed up they all are.)