#the past. plenty of my ocs still would never want to be in the same room with him. it just adds unnecessary coffee au drama thats just not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gracehateseggnog · 5 months

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a quiet rivendell wedding ˚˖𓍢ִ໋ legolas x oc

summary: one year after the events of the lord of the rings, legolas and talwynn get married in rivendell.

pairing: legolas x fey!oc

word count: 4.5k

a/n: been waiting to write this one 4 eva! love u @gu1ltyassin!

tw: some angst, but plenty of comfort <3

gif creds: unknown

Thranduil didn’t approve. Unfortunately, Legolas had assumed since the very blossoms of him and Talwynn’s relationship that his father wouldn’t gaze upon her with a fond eye, but the bloodied eye of anger towards Legolas and towards his lover was still hurtful. Many people whispered about Legolas over the years, when he walked into taverns with Aragorn when the latter was a teenager, and they’d talk about his platinum hair and pointed ears, perhaps even murmur about the son of Thranduil, and how he would never live apart from his father’s reputation as a killer. Those Legolas could ignore, but his father’s words had a way of weaving into his heart and piercing it that killed him from the inside like a Morgul blade, it would poison him slowly until all he could think about was how good death would finally feel. He loved his father deeply, though it didn’t seem like it from outsiders that peered in to look at their relationship. They had been tense since the Battle of The Five Armies, and had never mended the tear between them, but a part of Legolas had hoped his news of marriage would make Thranduil put aside their past.

But his father was a bitter man, and he could hold a grudge as if his life depended on it, and his immortality only strengthened his resolve. Thranduil had sent them away when they had delivered the news of their betrothal, a sliver of hope in Talwynn’s heart that Legolas’ father would allow them to marry in the woods of Mirkwood, now lifted of Sauron’s darkness, Legolas didn’t hold that same sentiment, but he took her to his father, anyway. He had shunned them, called her a ‘fey’ and demoted his own son to ‘the elf’. His father had changed in the past, in the years of Tauriel and her love for the dwarf Kíli, and he had told Talwynn of his change in heart then. Perhaps that was why she was so adamant to go, to try and change his mind like Tauriel had about love. Tauriel wasn’t of his blood, Tauriel wasn’t his son. Thranduil cared, Legolas had grown to know that during the sixty years they had been apart, but it seemed like anything but love, at times, especially when Legolas would receive letters from Samwise detailing how excited he was for his daughter’s upcoming birth.

“Mellon,” Aragorn pulled Legolas from his deep thoughts. “This is a happy occasion, is it not?”

The closest place to home Legolas would get was Rivendell, and that is where he and Aragorn stood. They had quite a large room set aside in the east wing of the Main House, thanks to Elrond’s kind hospitality, right out front of the gardens he was to be wed in. Aragorn, as one of his closest friends, was his best man, and so was Gimli. (Aragorn wouldn’t have fought over the role, and Legolas really didn’t want one of Gimli’s “bachelor parties”) Apart from Tauriel, who was apologetically swamped with work from Thranduil, and Arwen, who Talwynn had as her maid of honour, most of Legolas’ friends were dead or too busy to come all the way to Rivendell. He understood, of course, and so did Talwynn, as most of his friends were hers from the days of the Fellowship, and a small, quaint wedding was much more preferable to him than a large one, but he envied those of such popularity they’d be begged for an invite. To be fair, Gimli was more than enough to handle for one evening that Legolas wanted to be calm and preferably without drinking on the dwarf’s part.

“Of course,” Legolas nodded, carefully placing his circlet atop his head, dutiful not to let it snag in his long, blond hair. “If I were younger, perhaps I would have wished more for my father to be here. It seems a hopeless thought to imagine him appearing at the last moment to bear the rings, like I thought of him to as a child.”

“Legolas,” Aragorn buttoned up the top of Legolas’ white, royal tunic, embedded with silver and gold threads as a sign of the wedding to come. “You may not have your father here, but you have Talwynn, Gimli, Arwen, and I. I know it is not enough to make up for the loss of love in blood, but I also know how much greater those bonds can be.” He placed his hands on Legolas’ shoulders and brushed off any dust that remained from how long the outfit had sat in a closet, awaiting the moment Legolas would marry for hundreds of years. “Your father can not hold a grudge for your entire life.” He added.

“You do not know my father.” Legolas shook his head, not meaning it in an aggressive way, just an informative way. He knew how long some prisoners had stayed in the Mirkwood dungeons. Some had been there since before he was born. “He uses his immortality as if it is a threat to all that try to cross him.”

“I have met him once or twice, mellon, and that was enough to know his weakness.” At this, Legolas met Aragorn’s eyes. “He may be able to hold a grudge that lives longer than his victim, but he has always loved you, Legolas, and I don’t believe he will ever stop.”

When Legolas was much younger, he fell out of a tree in Mirkwood while trying to shoot down a practice target one of the warriors had set up for fun with a bow that was much greater than he could handle, which was what led to the branch snapping beneath him and his topple to the grass. His father had scolded him for what seemed like hours that day, droning on and on about how he needed to take much more responsibility for his life, being the only heir to the Mirkwood throne (Legolas bit back at some point about how Thranduil was immortal, so there was really no need for the stress of being a prince, which Thranduil did not appreciate.) Despite their quarrel, the next day, they went on as usual, silent around each other as Legolas tried to learn everything he could from Thranduil. They didn’t discuss mother, they didn’t discuss his immortality, and most importantly, Legolas had learnt not to mention anything about any girl his age he had found to look dashing in the sunlight. His father always had a way to ruin those fleeting crushes, not unlike how he had tried to quash his betrothal to Talwynn before they had exchanged rings that promised them to one another.

That's how most of their conflicts went. Legolas would do something to invoke his father’s anger, or vice versa, Thranduil would yell at him, and they would live in silence for a short period of time before things naturally returned to their beginnings. It happened in Erebor, sixty-one years ago, when Legolas had defied his father’s instructions in Dale, and they had fought harshly with one another following Tauriel’s short-lived banishment from her home. Then, the following day, Thranduil had sent his son on the greatest expedition of his extremely long life; to go see Aragorn, though he was quite fond of “Strider” back then. Legolas hadn’t had a proper conversation with his father since then, one that wasn’t filled with venomous spats or a few quick words of where he would be going, which was the simple back and forth that led their meeting before last, before Legolas had left for Rivendell to join the Fellowship. Perhaps this was no different, perhaps after a year or so, give or take, Thranduil would invite Legolas and Talwynn for a feast in Mirkwood, and act as if no time had passed at all, and no words of hatred had been passed between him and his love, his wife. He smiled at the thought. Once, nuptials had meant little to him. Now, it seemed to be one of the most important moments in a long time.

“Lad?” The questioning tone of Gimli echoed through the room, though the dwarf was careful not to tread on the tense moment between Legolas and Aragorn. He was loud when he wanted to be, Legolas knew that better than most, but he was also someone who felt so deeply for his friends that when they had a quiet moment, he knew how to deal with it in his own way.

“You’re right.” Legolas nodded, and smiled at Aragorn. His friend dressed like a King, but now, he was dressed in elven garbs to celebrate the ceremony, which was how Legolas remembered him most fondly. “He will come around, even if it is not now.”

“I am glad you see what I see.” Aragorn stepped back from Legolas, taking a look at his beautifully intricate outfit. It had taken forever to be sewn, as Legolas wanted as much of his wife’s heritage in it as his own, and a plethora of questions about the fey people from the seamstresses had followed. “You look finer than I did on my wedding day, mellon.”

“It was not hard.” Legolas smirked in jest, looking at his right hand, looking at his betrothal band for the last time before it would be replaced with one of marriage. “I am surprised Elrond allowed you to look so Man-like.”

“Oi! No fighting on such a day!” Gimli announced, stopping the comb he had been raking carefully through his beard to scold the two. Aragorn and Legolas could only smile at the dwarf, knowing that on any other day, he would have been the first to throw punches, but he had a particular soft spot for marriages.

“Apologies, my friend.” Aragorn chuckled, a smile gracing his expression as he looked down at Gimli. “I forget how important a wedding is to your kind.”

Gimli crossed his arms in a huff. “Well, often I forget how unimportant a wedding seems to your kind!” He countered mockingly. “If I were one of your kind, I would not be joking about such matters before walking to the garden!”

“I assure you, Gimli, my joking is only due to a matter of worry.” Legolas replied, a soft smile on his lips despite the tone of his words. Not a lot seemed to surprise him anymore, after his over two thousand years of living, but the feeling in his chest that accumulated as the hour of his wedding drew near.

“What is there to worry about, Legolas?” Aragorn asked, buttoning the top of his own royal tunic, one that had been gifted to him by Elrond many moons before. “Talwynn loves you just as you love her, she would not have accepted your betrothal if she could not imagine herself in this garden.”

“Her love I do not doubt.”

“Then what is on your mind, mellon?”

“Perhaps it is those thoughts that linger in any elf’s mind.” Legolas looked to one of the openings in the room, gazing out to the beautiful glade. He could only imagine the arch he would be standing beneath, hidden amongst the trees. “She will die and there is no place for her in Valinor.”

“That may change, you can not see all that may happen to Talwynn. Someone may offer her a place there, as Lady Galadriel promised Gimli his.”

“I would give it to her without question.”

“But where would that leave her? In a world where she knows nobody, and you do not have a place.” Aragorn finished buttoning up his shirt, his hands moving to pick up a small piece of fabric from one of the dressers. The marriage rings that would soon be on him and Talwynn’s index fingers were kept safely inside the sage fabric. “Do not give yourself to worry on this day, Legolas. Those are concerns for you and her to consider years from now.”

Legolas nodded once more, a smile beckoning on his lips as the thoughts drifted away merely at Aragorn’s instruction, and his eyes travelled back to the gardens to his left. He missed Mirkwood dearly, but those regrets faded too when he looked upon the tall trees that Lord Elrond ruled over. When the Fellowship travelled through Lothlórien, Legolas had looked through the Mirror of Galadriel. He had seen many things that evening, many versions of this day with and without Talwynn by his side, but none of them took place in his home kingdom. He wondered then if it was a sign that he was never to marry, if it was a bad omen that he should avoid marriage and live his life without the love his father had once found with his mother and Tauriel had found with Kíli. Now, as Aragorn gathered the rings and Gimli opened the door of the Rivendell chambers, he knew that what he saw was never an abysmal sight. He could live without his father alongside him, he had done it for a long time, and he would be able to marry Talwynn without his support and without the trees he once called home. Rivendell had become as much of a home to him as it had become to Aragorn throughout time, perhaps this was where he was always meant to be.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“Your hair is beautiful.” Arwen commented kindly, running her brush through the last of Talwynn’s blonde, tangled hair.

“Thank you.” The fey blushed under her compliment, her fingers tangling into her necklace.

Arwen and Talwynn sat alone in one of Rivendell’s main house chambers, the final touches going onto the latter’s appearance before she would walk to the gardens and marry the elf she had fallen in love with. The brown-haired half-elf was one of her only friends outside of the Fey Realm, and the two had become close through frequent visits to Gondor on Talwynn’s behalf, and letters sent to each other in hopes to continue their close friendship. Talwynn adored the advice Arwen would give her, the dresses she would deliver, stitched delicately by her handmaidens just for the fey as gifts, and the way she would teach her how to braid her hair like an elf did. Arwen missed the fleeting moments of girlhood she remembered from when she was a child, and Talwynn reminded her of those times, especially when the two would lounge in the Rivendell gardens in the afternoons, talking endlessly about anything that came to their minds. They loved each other in their own way, and Arwen learnt how to embrace her newfound mortality from the fey most out of the others that surrounded her, because Talwynn seemed to have a love for life that slipped from others. Arwen pulled two large chunks of Talwynn’s hair from each side and joined them at the back with a silver clip.

“There.” Arwen remarked, stepping back from behind Talwynn and looking over her face.

Her dress had taken a month to make, but Talwynn wanted it to be perfect. It combined the styles of fey and elven wedding dresses, creating a mesh between the greens and silvers that cascaded down her body, a short but elegant train following her feet. The bodice and sleeves were made out of sheer silk, adorned with stitchings of green leaves and small, pink flowers that represented the wings of matching colour that protruded from her back, and the bottom of the dress had the same design, but didn’t cling to her body as the top did, instead draping atop her legs. After years of wearing strictly clothing she could fight in, Talwynn felt the prettiest she had in a long time, her confidence only matched to how she felt during Aragorn’s coronation. Then, she represented the Fey Realm, now, she represented her and her betrothed’s people, sending a message to any who doubted their matrimony (not many did.) Her engagement ring sat low on her ring finger, soon to be replaced by the silver marriage ring that elves exchanged during their wedding. Her heart beat against her chest, she was so excited.

“I’ve never felt this wondrous before.” Talwynn exclaimed, rising from her chair and turning to face Arwen, whose hands were clasped at her hips, clad in a whimsical, light brown dress. “I fear I may faint.”

“I felt that same excitement when Aragorn and I married.” Arwen smiled, holding her hands out for Talwynn to take. “It didn’t dissipate until the wine was served that evening.”

Talwynn clasped softly onto her friend’s palms, grounding herself. “I wish I could feel this way forever.” She admitted. “I can’t begin to explain it.”

“You don’t need to, I know exactly what it’s like to stand in your situation, waiting for the moment to walk through those doors and try not to lose your footing. Though, I was wearing quite more elaborate footwear than you are.” Arwen looked down to where Talwynn’s silver flats poked out from beneath her dress, no heels to help her walk through the grass. “Legolas feels that same worry, I’m sure. He won’t know what to do with himself when he sees you.”

“How do you think he’ll react?”

“Well, I have never known him to be a crier, but I haven’t known him for my life. I believe it would be hard for him not to shed a tear or two at the sight of you.”

“You’re too kind to me, Arwen.”

“Nobody can be too kind on a woman’s wedding day, not when she has the honour of giving her away to another dear friend. I only wish I could have brought your father here to take my place.”

“I wouldn’t rather have anyone else with me other than you.” Talwynn held tighter onto Arwen’s hands, smiling at the bittersweet situation. None of her family could make it, but those she had chosen to surround her as she lived had. That was enough. “My father longed to make it here, but we both knew it would be impossible.”

“We are both too poetic for our own good.”

Arwen grinned, then a knock came to the door. Aragorn’s knuckle rapped against the wood three times, signalling to the woman on the other side that Legolas would be awaiting them at the arch in Lord Elrond’s gardens whenever they were ready to leave. After giving the sign, he walked alongside the groom and Gimli through the large door at the end of the hall that opened up into the garden. Large, weeping trees paved the way through the grass, leading to a natural arch made from the trees over time, a history of thousands of elves’ marriages standing in the centre. Legolas had seen many trees in his long lifetime, but the sight of Lord Elrond’s gardens never ceased to amaze him, no matter how many times he had wandered around as a younger elf, dreaming and wondering about the day he’d get to stand in the flowers and marry. Birds chirped ahead, sensing the special day that befell the summer afternoon. As Legolas looked at the nearly shrouded sun in the sky, he couldn’t help but smile and think about the hobbits that he and Talwynn had grown to love so long ago. He wondered if they were having elevenses or luncheon.

“Are ya’ nervous, lad?” Gimli inquired when they reached the arch.

Legolas took his place off to the left side, and Aragorn and Gimli joined at his right. “Extremely.”

“You two fought the grips of Mordor from Middle-Earth.” Aragorn reassured the elf. “There is not much that can come between a bond as strong as yours.”

At that, the gardens surrounding them hushed, and Talwynn emerged from the shadows of the trees. Legolas’ eyes widened slightly, his lips pulling tight against his cheeks as his eyes threatened to give away the emotion he felt when he saw his bride for the first time. Her dress was elven, he noticed, with enough of a hint of her fey ancestry to pay homage to the wings that fluttered against her back, brightening the foggy forest. She looked as beautiful as she did every day, but it was a royal kind of beauty that day, and Legolas flushed when his mind wandered to what she would look like under her true title, Princess of Mirkwood. Nothing could truly compare to the buzzing inside his stomach, he realized, and there was no replication to how he felt about Talwynn, walking down the aisle of dotted, white flowers and grass, holding onto Arwen’s arm with a graceful, excited smile on her face. He adored her unabashed emotion, the way she would smile in the heat of battle, teeth bared at him when she passed his count of fallen orcs or trolls (she never did, but he wouldn’t admit that to her.) Legolas also realized i8n that moment that though Talwynn dressed in many different ways across their travels as members of the Fellowship, nobles of Gondor, and now bride and groom, her smile never failed to beguile him.

When Talwynn was close enough, Arwen let go of her arm, retreating to her side and allowing the fey to stand in front of her elf. “My handsome elf.” She remarked, looking up at him, the spattered light that seeped through the tree leaves reflecting in her eyes.

“Faerië nín.” Legolas lifted his left hand, placing it under her hair and on the side of her neck, smiling as she leant into his palm lightly. He thought of their first kiss. “You are beautiful.”

My fairy.

Talwynn blushed a deep red. She would later blame it on the heat. “You are my life, Legolas. I can not imagine continuing forward without you, no matter what the future means for us both.” She spoke without thinking, words tumbling from her lips without sign of stopping. “Adventures or late mornings, I can’t fathom having an empty tent or bed now that I’ve felt what it’s like to have you at my side. Even if travels keep me from you, or another global battle takes us away from each other for a short time, I have faith that we’ll find each other, that is what we do. Not one ounce of fate from the Halls of Mandos can change our trajectory, constantly pointing towards each other.” Tears had begun streaming down Talwynn’s face without her knowledge, she only knew she had begun to cry when a soft breeze blew through the garden, chilling the tears on her cheeks. Legolas lifted his thumb and brushed the wetness from her skin, tears welling in his own eyes. “I love you, Legolas.”

“And I, you, Talwynn. I believe I knew there was a beautiful love between us, even when you were simply a fey who had run into the Fellowship in the midst of the most important journey of our lives. I don’t—” Legolas sucked in a tight breath, a tear straying from his eye. Elves were known to be good at protecting their emotions in the heat of any situation, but when it came to their love, the masks dropped. “I don’t know where I would be after the journey of the Ring if you had not joined us on that mountain outside of Rivendell. Perhaps the only change I would have made to our adventure would have been that you had come to us sooner so that we may have more time with one another. You are my trees, my flowers, my beauty. I could not have ever dreamed of having someone else share my bed and my heart as deeply as you, meleth nín.” It was Talwynn’s turn to reach her hand up from her side and wipe Legolas’ face of tears. “I love you.”

My love.

Aragorn took the short moment of silence that followed to present the two silver marriage bands to Talwynn and Legolas. Both had inscriptions engraved on the outside; Talwynn’s read, ‘forever adventures, even in mortality’ in Sylvan, while Legolas’ said, ‘even when memory fails, you are my history.’ Legolas reluctantly tore his hand from his bride’s neck, replacing the skin of her face with her hand, delicately holding her fingers up. He pulled off the gold betrothal ring from her third finger, placing it down on Aragorn’s green fabric before taking Talwynn’s silver band from it. The ring fit perfectly around her index finger, running down every blemish in her skin with ease and finding its forever home near her palm. Legolas pulled her hand up to his mouth, placing a loving kiss against the outside of the ring and blessing it with his breath.

The tears had dried from his cheeks, but Legolas’ lip still quivered as Talwynn flipped their hands, his palm resting atop her own. Her other hand slid his engagement ring off just as she had done to hers, and she let it sit right next to his on the blanket of green. They would be displayed in their forever chambers, wherever that would be, for them to gaze upon whenever they wished, and Talwynn couldn’t help but hitch her breath at the thought that one day, their rings would be artifacts that represented a historic marriage between the fey and the elves. She smiled again, taking Legolas’ silver ring from Aragorn and letting him retreat back behind the elf before placing it on Legolas’ finger, careful not to hurt his beautiful, pale skin. She didn’t kiss the ring, but kept their hands intertwined between them, running the tips of her finger over his ring, grounding herself and making sure she realized that the moment of her wedding was real, and they were now married.

Silence overcame the glade once more as Aragorn, Gimli, and Arwen witnessed the matrimony between their dear friends come to its fruition as their rings exchanged, a certain hush of love overcoming the group that harboured an unexplainable feeling. Legolas smiled, his long, blonde hair blowing gently in the wind as he looked upon his wife for the first time, and Talwynn upon her husband. He ran his hand back up to her neck, pulling her forward gently and letting their lips meet elegantly. Talwynn hummed against Legolas’ lips, unable to help her grin from creeping up her face. Legolas met her expression, pulling her closer but not letting go of his grip on her hand. Their hair tickled each other’s skin, their eyes shut but knowing of the other’s colour by heart, and their lips reluctantly parted, only to be replaced by the touching of their foreheads against each other. After everything they had been through together, Legolas and Talwynn had finally married, dedicating their love for as long as eternity could offer an immortal.

No wedding would attest to be as beautiful as theirs for hundreds of years, and no fey would marry an elf again until after they had both passed, Talwynn into the earth, and Legolas into Valinor.

#legolas #legolas fic #legolas x oc #lotr #lotr fic #lotr x oc #lord of the rings #lord of the rings fic #lord of the rings x oc

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thevoidscreams · 10 months

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Sweet red wine

Chapter 1 Things get steamy as you help your favorite astartes experience more things. No smut yet but there's plenty of need. and kissing.

Pairing: my Blood Angel oc Cornelius X Reader

Another day, another list of chores to do. No matter how much you wanted to stay in bed. But that was life, especially if you were a serf to the Legiones Astartes. And here on the Sword of Baal there was a never ending stream of tasks that seemed to need doing. But by far the best task, in your humble opinion, was armor duty. Most of the marines liked to keep theirs on while you cleaned and polished those precious metal plates. And there was no marine better than Cornelius. He was a kind soul who was gentle and never abrasive towards the serfs, the same wasn't always true about the higher up aboard the ship.

But what did that matter to you? He was also very noble and handsome and he let you alone polish his armor.

He said he favored the way you cleaned it over the others. But in truth it was just that he liked you. You would never shy away from him or act meek as you go about your tasks. Your bright smile always made his day just a bit better and he'd seek you out when he could, just to see it. And you spoke to him as you worked, sharing the latest bit of drama with him.

"Good morning Cornelius."

The space marine turned his head up and smiled.

"Hello." He returned and set aside the book he'd been reading.

"Are you done with all of your chores already?"

"I am. I did them as quickly as I could without leaving them unfinished. I need time to make sure I get your armor spotless after all."

Delighted, the marine sat still on his stool. Waiting for you to start. "So what's the recent drama?"

Taking up your first rag you sighed dramatically.

"Well, someone took Andreus's bottle of cleaner from his cubby in the closet and he insists it's Lania. But she swears it's not her. But here's the thing, we've caught her doing it before. I tell you Cornelius, she's a cleaner thief. And "why?" You might ask. It's because she doesn’t want to go all the way down to the main supply closet and get a new one like the rest of us."

Cornelius nodded along and hmm'd at appropriate moments. The serf drama was almost always harmless squabbles triggered by someone being lazy and not quite pulling their weight.

Cornelius refrained from chuckling so he wouldn't disrupt your work. His shoulders and torso were the first place you started. Top to bottom was key unless it was just a spot cleaning. He watched your hands work circles against his plates and allowed himself to almost become entranced by the sound of your voice, focusing on the meanings of every little word. He hadn't been to battle or to drink in a while. He could practically feel your pulse as you hovered near him. He knew he couldn't hurt you even as his fangs pricked at his lower lip. He'd have to drink soon. The hunger was so sharp. His gaze wandered. Traveling up your arm past your shoulder to your neck. Hidden behind the high collar of your shirt.

You shivered, your focus disrupted as you felt a chill run up your spine. The kind that you got when you saw picts of Tyranids or other monstrous xenos lifeforms. The pricking of fear of being stared down by something predatory.

But that wasn't what Cornelius was. He wasn't a monster, he was an angel. A son of Sanguinius. Sure, you'd heard rumors about the legion in your years serving them. But those were stories….right? Older crew who'd been serfs much longer than you had warned you of bleeding around the Astartes of the blood angels legion. But it hadn't been an issue before.

Suddenly you felt very self conscious, hyper aware of every movement your body made. Of every potentially sharp edge of his armor. However despite that, there was also an underlying thrill to it all.

"Is everything alright?"

You glanced up at his handsome face, smiling but still self conscious.

"Yes, all is fine. I just want to do the best job I can."

He nodded, the fine curtain of wheat gold hair swaying as he continued to stare with those slate gray eyes.

Your heart thumped against your ribs. He really was so handsome. It was ridiculous.

Everyone knew the sons of Sanguinius were almost inhuman in their beauty, but most didn't actually desire them.

It was almost impossible for you to understand them. How could they not desire the Astartes around them? Your reason for feeling self conscious suddenly shifted and you felt the need to take a quick breather. But that might make him suspect something was off.

'Just keep working, just calm down.'

However, that was going to be hard to do with your panties soaked. Every moment a new fantasy would spring to your mind and the room seemed to grow warmer and warmer.

A gauntlet clad hand startled you as it came up to lift your chin, concerned gray pools scanning your face.

"Your face is very red. Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah." You squeaked, "just uh, feeling a bit warm is all."

"Oh, you should remove your shirt then, you're wearing another layer underneath, correct?"

True, you were, but only a tight under shirt that was keeping your chest secure so it wouldn't jiggle as you worked.

That made a whole new category of fantasies spring to life in your mind. But you did as he suggested, and the suddenness of cool air on sweaty skin helped a bit.

"How is that now?"

You nodded. "It's better."

You took up the rag again and applied fresh cleaner to the plates of ceramite.

The undershirt didn't leave much to the imagination, it was more of a cropped top.

Cornelius had begun to suspect that you were not being entirely truthful. Your heart was pounding and he could hear it. He could also smell the subtle shift in your hormones, his plate prevented you from seeing that it affected him too. Especially now that you were practically half naked behind such flimsy bits of cloth.

The Astartes reached for you again. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with one red finger. The red of his armor was so striking against your skin. It reminded him of blood, and of urges he was too ashamed to admit. Not even the chaplain understood, when he'd mentioned having urges he'd simply chalked it up to the thirst. But this wasn't like the red thirst or the ever present threat of the rage. This was different and his brothers seemed oblivious to this need. It felt wrong but also so incredibly human. It made him feel like a teen again. In those times long passed before he'd been taken up and raised above most of his fellow humans. He remembered seeing the pretty girls around him and feeling this warmth. This need. His secret shame was feeling it for you, his favorite serf. His favorite human.

You were pretty, more than that even. He wasn't blind, he knew what most people would consider attractive, but he was terribly inexperienced with women. He and all his brothers were, after all it wasn't his job to seek comfort or pleasure. He was the emperor's righteous fury, the light in the endless darkness. But oh how he wished for just a short time he could be the one protected by another's light. It's why he insisted on you, his favorite serf, coming everyday to polish his armor. To touch him and fill him with that light.

Your small wide eyes searched his expression for some explanation as to his sudden touches. But he just smiled and pulled you in close with one large arm. You practically fell into his lap as his arms encircled you. Your heart fluttered like a bird caught in a cage.

"Cornelius?" The sound of your voice was so small and unsure of what to make of this.

"I-i am sorry." He stammered, "I do not know what came over me. I just needed.." needed what exactly? He couldn't say, but holding your small form on his lap felt like a step in the right direction. But he wasn't sure how to proceed.

What he knew of affection, or at least the affection that wasn't platonic between his brothers and himself, was the few brief glances he'd seen of the human crew sharing intimate moments. Touches, kisses, and such. He knew what sex was, of course, he wasn't stupid, but he'd never touched a woman.

His cheeks grew hot. Not that that was going to happen, not without you wanting it too. He'd never force that on to anyone. But oh how he longed to know what that kind of passion felt like.

Cornelius was startled out of his contemplation by the touch of your bare hand on his cheek. "Are you feeling okay? You're acting very strange."

His hands felt unusually shaky as they trailed up and down your back.

How should he say this? What if he scared you off? Or even scarier still, what if he didn't. He wasn't sure what he was more afraid of.

"I want…" He scolded himself for not having the words. "I want to, uh.." He wanted to do the things he'd seen with you. To hold and kiss you and, oh Emperor preserve him, to do even more if possible. His plates would have to come off for that.

"To? I need you to tell me Cornelius, I want to help you."

His expression turned bashful and you were surprised to see him blush.

"Kiss me!...please. I want you to kiss me. The way others do. The way…lovers do." His confession was abrupt and it left you feeling like your brain had just fallen out of your head.

"Kiss? Like us, kissing?.. Yeah I think I can. I've never kissed an Astartes before. Am I even allowed to do this?"

Cornelius shrugged, there were no rules against Astartes having physical relations, at least none he knew of. And besides, it'd just be a kiss. At least to start out it would be.

Well, nothing to it, but to do it, as your mother used to say. Trembling you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek to start. You'd need to work your way up to actually claiming his lips. His skin was smooth and firm, like a marble statue. But it felt nice, so you kissed his cheek again, this time closer to his lips, but not quite.

Cornelius could feel frustration and some other unnamed feeling rising in him. But he made himself content with holding you and letting you work at your own pace.

You hadn't been anticipating being in a make out session with your favorite space marine. But it wasn't the worst turn of events.

Gathering your courage you, taking his cheek in your hand, pressed a kiss to his lips.

Cornelius had to fight the urge to tighten his grip on you. It was like clicking a piece of a puzzle into place. As your lips pressed sweetly to his, he wasn't sure what to do next. He let out a soft groan of frustration as you pulled away and looked at him.

"Is this your first time kissing?" You asked, serious in your inquiry, but not in a mocking manner.

"Yes." Cornelius felt an unusual pang of worry. Had it been that bad that it was so obvious.

"Okay, well I know where to start off then. When you kiss there are a few ways to go about it." Your cheeks bloomed with red.

"How should we go about it?" The Astartes seemed almost excited. "Well that depends on what you want or like."

Cornelius sighed and looked around the room, as though the ornate walls would hold the answer to the question.

Gingerly he picked you up, it was an odd feeling for you both. For you it was odd to be carried around as though you weighed nothing. And for him it was the pleasant feeling of having you in his arms.

He walked the short few paces to his cot and set you there. The material wasn't quite comfortable but it was no less unpleasant than the mattresses in the serfs quarters.

He doffed his armor rather quickly, returning to the cot as eager as you'd ever seen him.

"May we begin?" His lower body was warmer than yours, pleasantly so, you noted. "Sure."

He scooted closer, waiting for you to continue. You cleared your throat and went on. "You mentioned kissing the way lovers do. But that doesn't narrow it down so much."

Cornelius's fingers drummed on the cot. Perplexed. "Perhaps you could show me the way you like to be kissed, and we could move from there?" He suggested.

That was doable. You stood to straddle his lap, his hands came up to cup your rump and back.

Shivers of delight accompanied the touch. Cornelius leaned down his lips brushing over yours happily, you kissed him back, pressing in with tender need. Your hands came to rest on his cheeks as your touches and kissing became more eager.His lips were softer than they looked, perfectly warm and pliable. They melded together with yours as if they were made to. It sent tingles of pleasure up and down your spine and you moaned softly into the kiss. Cornelius pulled away startled by the sound. “Are you alright? I didn’t injure you in my excitement, did I?” His steely eyes were so sincere it stopped any laugh you might have produced. “No, Cornelius, it just felt..” you grasped for a way to describe it without being too lewd. “Very good. It felt so good I couldn’t help myself.” This seemed to lighten his mood again and he pulled you back in, closing the distance between the two of you. Everything about him was intoxicating and getting lost in him would be so easy to do. His lips caressed yours, tender and allowing you to take the lead again. Which you did with much enthusiasm. A natural rhythm was worked out silently as you both grew more confident. The sensation of it all was electric and left you feeling even more needy as your hands roamed up to glide through his soft golden locks. His own hands began to explore your sides and hips and even your thighs. Squeezing with gentle pressure, as he moaned into the kiss.

Time seemed to slip by as the two of you stayed in each other's embrace, lips locked in with amorous intent. “Cornelius..” You sighed breathless as you came apart to breathe. As you did he leaned down to press his forehead to yours. “That was wonderful, thank you.” He smiled and relaxed into you. “Was it everything you hoped it would be?” You nuzzled his nose with yours, the differences between the two of you completely forgotten. “It was, thank you. We will have to do this again.” He assured you. It made a deep excitement bloom in your chest.

“I would like that very much.” You replied, as he kissed your forehead. He sighed in relief and found that strangely his hunger was far less severe than it had been before and made a mental note of it. He’d have to have this special time with you more often.

When you left he got back up and donned his armor again the red thirst was slated strangely enough but as he dwelt on it during his meditation he felt a different urge surfacing. It was hot and distracting. He’d have to make a note to ask you about that the next time he saw you.

#warhammer 40k #astartes #Blood Angel #space marines #space marine x reader #space marine oc #my writing

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itsybiggy · 1 year

Text

Stuck With Me: Peter Parker x OC

Cute Peter Parker slow burn, less spiderman action more just good ol awkward Parker.

Peter has been in a bad mood all month, but with soon to be divorced parents, trying to figure out what's wrong with him is the last thing Lani needs. Thankfully summer break is here. Lani, Ned, Peter, and MJ set off on the summer vacation road trip to California. Drama ensues

🕸️Chapter 2🕸️

Chapter 1

Master list

•🕷️🕷️🕷️•

He left me on read. He never does that, like ever. My thoughts begin to wander to attempt to make evenly winged eyeliner.

So much for keeping it positive.

Intrusive thoughts pile up in my mind. I'm not dumb enough to really believe that Peter now hates the mere thought of me; but the little "read" under my text makes me anxious all the same.

I being wracking my brain. Thinking of everything I have said to him in the past weeks. I mean maybe I said something to make him upset or did something and just not realize it. But honestly, it only makes me smile as I recall the jokes we cracked and fun we all have had. Nothing bad is really coming to mind.

My screen is still void of any text notifications.

I check my refection in the mirror, smiling. I usually try to stay positive when it comes to my appearance. And I definitely can't complain of how my butt looks my black maxi skirt. I adjusted my white crop top, making sure the tiny cross stitched spider was visible. After a quick click of my off brand Dock Martins I decided humidity was a virtue and mirror time was over.

It was already 5:15, I didn't feel quiet ready but Ned would be waiting.

~15 minutes later~

"GET IN LOSER WE ARE GOING SHOPPING!" I yell as Ned walks down the apartment stairs.

He gets in the car "Hey."

"Hey." My smile drops and I hope it's subtle. The tone of his voice worried me. Silence between us is uncommon. I squirm a bit in my seat.

Seeing as he isn't going to make conversation, I speak up.

"Did you get the texts from me and Michelle?" I say.

"Yeah, I have no idea what's wrong with him. Maybe we will figure out tonight" he says quickly, shrugs and looks out the window. Silence fills the car again.

I know you can't sound like anything over text, but Ned sounded a lot peppier when we were messaging. What was going on with my friends?

"We should go see a movie after." I make a lame attempt to kindle a conversation.

Ned seems to perk up a bit at this.

"Yes! The Joker is out!"

I laugh at this, I'd never been much for DC superhero comics. Especially when they are made up. It didn't really make a lot of sense why someone would make up a superhero and a supervillain when there are plenty to choose from that are real. Movie production companies have tried to profit off of rising superhero stars. The movies are never as good as the up close and real action.

I shrug "I'll see whatever you want bubby."

He winces at 'bubby' and goes back to looking out the window.

I feel my face getting hot. Ok mental note, after being called bubby for 3 years Ned now doesn't like it.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH MY FRIENDS! Blasts in my mind. My only hope now was that Michelle was normal.

___

To my relief she was. We got to the diner at 6:04, Michelle sitting down at our usual table in the back. We try to sit in the back as to not disturb other customers. Our laughs are usually boisterous and frequent not to mention the cheeky jokes. And all being on the decathlon team, heated arguments or "debates" on some old dudes theories or such tend to heated. But we are high tipping customers so we don't worry about it too much.

"Hey guys surprised to see you have made it here alive." She jokes.

"I don't know where you got that I was a bad driver!" I motion for Ned to take a seat before I slide in next to him.

"Oh I think you know." She winks.

"what?" I look at her, perplexed before she shakes her head.

"Speak of the devil" she said just as Peter walks through the door.

The little bell at the top of the door gives a joyful ring. Peter flinches but his body quickly moved back into its slightly hunched position with a frown on his face. Oh great.

"Hey Peter!" I say as he sits down next to Michelle.

He looks into my eyes and gives a slight smile. But says nothing.

A waiter soon comes around with menus "Can I get you started off with anything to drink?"

"I will have a coke." Michelle starts.

"Same." Peter mumbles.

"Sprite." Says Ned cheerfully.

"Tea for me please and thank you." I say brightly, I had to stay positive. I am with my friends to get away from negativity, not have more of it.

Once the waiter left we all began talking. Peter slowly starts engaging more, and it seems to feel right again. Something about him is definitely off; though that does make me very worried about him, I know now was not the time to ask. I will just do my best to cheer my moody friend up.

I smile, mentally stepping back from the conversation, contentment filled my heart. There is nowhere I would rather be and no group of people I would rather be with. I mean they are the only friends I have...

Good Eats has become a favorite of ours. We started eating here for dinner or after school almost every weekend, for about 3 years now. It was cheap for the quality of simple yet delicious diner food. But it's usually pretty quiet in the evenings— (we learned the hard way to avoid it during the mornings where the line is out the door.) —a steady stream of customers usually taking things to-go. Which I don't get, a big part of this place being great is the aesthetic. It reminds me of a 70s diner and most likely opened then. Yellow booths, a jute box always playing great oldies music, kinda ugly wallpaper, and warm lighting. And the store owner is a really nice guy. He usually brings his grandkids. It's always funny when you get rung up by a 10-year-old or have your water refilled by a 7-year-old. Since we have been coming for so long so often, the owner has a special discount for us "I've got to treat my best customers right!" he always says I'm pretty sure it's just a %10 student discount. We usually tip as much much as we can.

I snapped back into reality when I heard my name. I didn't really know who it came from.

"What?" I said shacking my head out of the clouds.

"We were asking about the van. Summer break is almost here, when is Caroline gonna be ready?" Ned asks

"Oh right, I would say just in time for school to let out." I say.

We have been planning our summer break since school started this year. It will be our last summer vacation ever, so it had to be epic. I always get excited butterflies from it, but it is usually mixed with dread too. Dread because I know when I get home my parents will be officially divorced. Not that I haven't known this was coming or that it needs to happen. It definitely does, I have a cup bruise on the side of my head to prove it.

No, nope stop! I feel my eyes watering. Internally I let out a big sigh. This summer vacation has to be perfect. I don't know what I will do if it's not.

"Alright let's go over the plans one last time," Peter says.

I smile reaching into my purse, and pull out a small, light pink, piece of paper. 1-10 lists of things we need to do while we are in California. We had decided a beach trip is definitely what we need.

I clear my throat and begin to read.

1. start off at Stark Tower to go over things with Tony such as Hotels, food reservations, and tickets

Did I mention all of this was Peter's early birthday gift from TS himself. We are all pretty jazzed. And by that I mean we about shit our pants when Peter told us.

2. head out across the country stopping at the finest Tony Stark hotels (hotels with penthouse suites that Tony has frequent so much he just straight up bought the hotels.)

3 get to LA and check out our crib

4. beach

5. Disney Land

6. More beach

7. eat at a super fancy restaurant

8. ruins of Mr. Stark's Malibu mansion

9. Santa Monica Pier

10. hike to the Hollywood sign

It was a packed summer for sure, but it had to be the best, it just had to be. My last slice of happiness before I move away with my mom, before I move from Queens to which ever relative my mom decides to move close to. Away from all of my friends, who are more of a family then my real ones. Who have gotten me through so much, stuck by my side through it all. And even feeling upset makes me feel like I'm a monster. I want to support my mom, but I don't want this! I don't want to be away from them. Away...I hate that word.

"You ok La?" Ned asks his hand rests on my back, lightly rubbing it.

My cheeks grow warm with embarrassment- I was crying. And of course Ned's kind questioning made more tears flow. I quickly wipe my eyes with my sleeve, and give a quick fake smile to my friends. They look concerned, except Peter. He looks almost angry, this made me cry more. Amazing.

"Yeah I'm fine. I-uh-i yawned." I stammer, I yawned wtf, who would believe that?!

"What the hell Lani?! No one's yawns make them cry that much." Michelle said, her voice rose she was almost laughing at the dumb lie that came out of my mouth. But I knew she was just concerned.

Ned quickly drops his hand from my back, my head instinctively turning towards him. He's looking at Peter.

"I'm fine I, I-just." I paused. I had told them about my parents getting a divorce, but not much. More importantly, I hadn't told them I was moving, and I wasn't planning on it till the trip is over. If they knew it would just ruin the whole trip for me. Not to mention I was so scared to even say it out loud, it would just make it seem more real. I tried my hardest to not think about it ever. Yea I know it's is unhealthy, but it's how I'm coping now. Might as well let future Lani deal with it.

"It's just my parents divorce, it's getting close to the last of all the court stuff. I just, can't stop thinking about it." My face continued the hot embarrassed sensation. I felt my under arms tingle and I could feel their eyes in me. My eyes stayed glued on my hands like my left depended on it.

There was a small pause. Oh gosh this is embarrassing.

"Lani, no madder what, you will always have us. We love you." Michelle finally said. Her tender words caught me off guard.

I looked back at her, giving a genuine smile "Thanks, that means a lot."

But the little voice in the back of my mind kept screaming Except they won't always be there for you.

"Are you guys ready to order?" We all jumped a bit as the waiter had finally returned to serve us. She placed each of our drinks in front of us.

After we ordered I had asked if we could just forget I said anything, what I needed was a fun night with my friends. They all agreed and once Ned had brought up The Joker, a new conversation sprung. I was just happy to not discuss anything family related.

___

Once we had all gotten and eaten our food, we decided to head to the movie theater to watch The Joker.

"Ok how about Peter pays for drink, Ned pays for Popcorn, and Lani pays for the tickets?" Michelle suggests as we walk into the theater.

"Um, that's convenient, seeing as you pay for nothing." Said Peter, slightly annoyed "and we should all pay for our own tickets, they are too expensive for Lani to pay for alone."

Michelle give a little snicker before we all decide it was every man for himself/herself.

I walk up to the counter, and smile brightly at the young man at the register. "Four tickets for The Joker, please and thank you."

"Sorry The Joker is sold out." He replies in a monotone voice.

"What?!" Ned exclaimed "but- I just checked online like 5 hours ago."

"Sorry The Joker is sold out" he repeats in the same voice. I don't blame him, he has probably had to say this so many people tonight.

"Hey, guys it's fine we can just pick another movie!" I say trying to lift their spirits.

"It 2 is out." Michelle offers.

Oh no

"Yeah I'm down" says Ned.

Oh no

"Yeah me too" says Peter.

Shit

Three pairs of eyes look at me. I give a sheepish smile. I get scared very easily, they know this, but I'm willing to take one for the team... even if it means I won't sleep for a few da-weeks. "Yes, let's go see It 2" I say in a fake enthusiastic tone.

I turn back to the man at the register "um, four for... It 2 please."

___

The theater is completely empty, which makes it about 1099999373783298xs more scary. It's a pretty popular movie so the rows of seats absent of people makes it feel like the twilight zone. We look around, deciding to sit in the far back.

I see Peter hanging back, walking slowly behind us. Strategically, I begin to slow my pace; slipping behind MJ to sit beside Peter. If there is anything that will distract me from the killer clown, it's Peter. We enter the row and settled in. And Peter grabs my hand.

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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

Text

On the Run - Chapter 10

Summary: At Bill’s home, the group recuperates and the time they spend there brings back painful memories for Y/N while she deals with the loss of losing her best friend.

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), Bill (The Last of Us), Frank (The Last of Us), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47007172/chapters/121849411

Warnings: Swearing, severe angst, talks about some heavy topics, etc.

Notes: This chapter was supposed to go very differently, but my brain decided to write it very different. I’m just trying really hard to get this story done so I can say it’s done. Thanks to anyone that reads it.

Trusting two strangers was the last thing Y/N wanted to do right now, but it was all she could do. Sitting in the corner of Bill’s living room, she kept her eyes on Bill who was standing at the corner while both Joel and Frank tended to Negan. Beyond stressed would be how she would describe Bill’s demeanor right now. He didn’t want them there and she wished she didn’t have to be there.

“What the three of you need the most right now is to get cleaned up, wrapped up, medicated and rest,” Frank explained, moving away from Negan to rub his hands together with an unnerving breath. “We’ll get you moved into the guest room where you can get comfortable. Unfortunately we don’t have more than one room, but the bed is a king size and I think the three of you need to get some rest where you are comfortable.”

“We can’t keep them here,” Bill snapped making Frank fold his arms in front of his chest to turn and glare out at his obvious significant other. “We could be at risk here with them here.”

“Bill, you have this house surrounded with booby traps and tons of security cameras so you know what is happening at all times. Nothing is going to get past you. We’re keeping them here,” Frank asserted pointing toward Joel and Negan that were sitting together on the couch. “These two look like they’ve been hit by a truck. If we throw them out of this house and something happens to the three of them, I’m never going to forgive myself. So let’s help them get their things in the house, do what you have to do so they can get cleaned up and then we’ll make them a dinner before letting them rest.”

“Damn it,” Bill muttered under his breath showing that it didn’t take much for him to agree and listen to Frank. Lowering his arms and nodding toward the door, Bill attempted to get Joel’s attention. “Help me get your shit to the guest bedroom.”

With a nod, Joel got up and limped out the door to follow Bill outside to the SUV. Offering up a weak smile, Frank nodded toward Negan, “You want to help me get this one in the shower so we can get his ribs wrapped and those wounds cleaned?”

“Thank you,” Y/N muttered when they worked together to get Negan up. Negan’s arms wrapped around their shoulders while Frank led them toward the stairs. It took quite some time to get Negan up the stairs and down the hallway, but once they entered the bedroom, she assumed they would be staying in she let out a questionable breath. The decorations and the way the room was put together was very classy which surprised her. “When I came into this house, this is not what I expected.”

“I thought the same thing when I met Bill, but you’ll be quite surprised by what he’s capable of,” Frank snickered urging her to follow him toward the bathroom. Once they pushed open the door, they were able to balance Negan against the counter while he braced himself with his hands. “Under the sink there are plenty of towels, razors, whatever you need. I’ll bring up the medical supplies. Have Joel wrap his ribs and help with the wounds when he’s up here.”

“He’s been taking good care of us, he’ll know what to do,” Negan grunted, his hazel eyes lifting to meet Frank’s stare. This was the most coherent Negan had been since they got there. It was nice seeing him have some kind of strength, but it was obvious he was still in significant amounts of pain. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Frank stood in the bathroom, his eyes gazing back and forth between Negan and Y/N. Throwing his hands up in the air, Frank cleared his throat and looked like he wanted to say something but it took some time. “I really am sorry for the things that Bill said to you on the phone a few days ago. It was wrong.”

“You don’t have to apologize for him,” Negan grunted, pulling himself up from where he was to outstretch his arm. Holding his hand out, Negan was looking to shake Frank’s hand and it shocked Frank. Accepting the gesture, Frank shook his hand and Negan gave him a weak smirk. “I am going to punch the hell out of Bill at some point though, I hope you know that. Not multiple times. Just once. Really hard.”

“I think it might be justified,” Frank tipped his head to the side with a frown making Negan’s eyebrows bounce up. That wasn’t exactly the response he was expecting from Bill’s lover. “And luckily you’re hurt so he won’t die from it.”

“There is always a positive to things,” Negan noted when Frank released his hand and back stepped. Tapping on the wall, Frank gave them a final welcoming smile before leaving them alone. Looking to Y/N, Negan could see that her worried eyes were staring out at him. Considering the way she was focusing on him, he knew that he must have looked pretty bad. “I look pretty, huh?”

“Fucking gorgeous,” she stammered, her bottom lip quivering when she stepped forward to caress over his face in a tender sweep. “You’re the one person that could get his ass kicked and you still look good. You and Joel look like you’ve been through a war and here I am. With little to nothing to complain about.”

“I’m sorry I let this happen,” Negan frowned, his thumb tracing faintly over her neck where there was some bruising before dragging his fingers up toward her cheekbone where she knew her cut was. “I should have never let him touch you.”

“He was a beast Negan,” she reminded him reaching up to wrap her fingers around his wrist, stroking her fingers over the pulse point. “I know that you would have done anything to protect me. Including almost dying.”

Lowering down, Negan pressed his forehead to hers when her fingers hooked with his. The warmth of his breath lingered over hers making her bite down on her bottom lip when she closed her eyes cherishing the warmth of him close.

“Let’s get you ready for the shower,” she breathed reaching down to start unbuttoning Negan’s shirt and his hands unsteadily reached for hers. Shaking his head, there was worry in his eyes and she felt her heart leap in her chest. At this point, with his face bruised, cut and swollen she didn’t imagine it could look much worse. Urging his hands away, she got the shirt undone pushing down the material from his body. When her eyes gazed over his abdomen, she immediately knew why Negan was trying to keep her from seeing it. Gasping out, she adjusted her positioning to look at the severe bruising that was done to Negan’s ribs, side and lower back. “Negan…”

“No…” Negan shook his head, stepping forward with a pained sound lifting both of his arms to cup her face in his hands tenderly when she started to break down after seeing what his body looked like. Seeing him this way had her crying and that was the last thing he wanted her to do. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“You need medical help Negan,” she traced her fingers over the discolored flesh making him let out a sharp exhale. Shakily he reached for her hands and shook his head knowing that the last thing they needed was to let people know where they were because he ended up needing medical care. “There could be some internal bleeding, something that could kill you.”

“I can tell you what’s wrong with me Y/N. After playing baseball and seeing the injuries that come from it, I’m very much aware what happened,” Negan cleared his throat, his head lowering down to look at his body. “I have broken ribs, a concussion, a broken nose and probably a bruised kidney.”

“The way you just said that like none of those things are a big deal,” she snapped at him making Negan frown when his stare lifted up to look at her with his fatigued hazel eyes. “A bruised kidney is a big fucking deal.”

“I would have died already if it’s as bad as you think it is,” Negan responded with a frown, shrugging his shoulders when he swallowed down hard. That didn’t help calm her with that thought. “We just have to pay attention to my blood pressure and I’m fairly certain this Bill guy will have something for me to check it. I’m going to guess his house is better than any safehouse we would have stayed at when it comes to your father.”

There were tears in her eyes looking at how injured he appeared to be. Moving forward, he cupped her face in his rough hands getting her to lift her head up so he could claim her lips in a kiss that made her eyes come to a tight close. The tender caress took her breath away with his thumb sweeping over her jawline.

As their lips parted, she nuzzled her nose in against his and felt him wrapping her up loosely in his arms, “I love you so much Negan.”

“I love you too,” Negan replied with a grumble, faintly brushing his lips over hers again making her tip up on her toes toward him.

Jumping, she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat and looked to see that Joel was standing in the doorway of the bathroom after she pulled away from the kiss that she was sharing with Negan. It seemed like he was jealous of the way he found them, but he was holding some clothes in his hands, “I grabbed you something comfortable for when you are done with your shower.”

“Thank you,” Negan gave her one final weak hug before moving over toward Joel to accept the clothing. Setting it on the counter, he started unsteadily pulling apart his pants with a wince.

“You need help with the shower?” Joel offered making Negan grunt under his breath and look up at Joel with a certain expression that made Joel throw his hands up. “I know how hurt you are. I’m not looking to cop a feel.”

“You wouldn’t be able to help yourself,” Negan joked with a snort, winking the one eye that wasn’t swollen making Joel grumble under his breath. “If I ever ask someone else to help me suds my ass it will be a very dark day for me. I’m sure if I need your help, you guys can hear me if you’re in the bedroom.”

“I’m going to keep the door open then,” Joel announced making Negan shrug like it didn’t bother him. Moving out of the bathroom, they both gave Negan his space when they went to sit on the edge of the bed. At first it seemed like Y/N was worried about Negan being able to get in the shower on his own until the water started up and the shower door was heard. “I told you he took the grunt of it.”

“You both look like shit,” she blurt out making Joel snort at the way she said it. “You know what I mean.”

“It’s just funny thinking about it in a different context,” Joel spun his fingers around carefully lowering himself back against the bed. Humming out, he closed his eyes and felt her laying down beside him. “I don’t even care that we all have to share a bed. It will be nice to finally sleep on something where I don’t feel every single spring. Not waking up with severe back pain as soon as I get up will be nice.”

“Honey, your upper back is bruised to shit. You’re going to have back pain for a while,” she reminded him making him chuckle when he knew that she was right. Turning his head with his eyelashes fluttering to an open, he could see that she was staring out at him with worry in her eyes. “Thank you for bringing me here. I know how much your daughter means to you. So bringing us here was a really big deal for you.”

“Of course,” Joel bit at his bottom lip, sliding his hand in closer to hers to hook their fingers together. “I don’t want you or Negan dead. I couldn’t leave you. As fucked up as it is, we’re a team. The three of us. We keep each other safe.”

“Even though you pulled a gun on him?” she pointed out making Joel groan and roll his eyes. “I can’t believe you thought it was Negan that did all of this.”

“When someone dies, you don’t know what to think,” Joel turned onto his side, reaching out to brush his fingers over the side of her face making her eyes come to a tight close. “You were so upset and I didn’t know what to think. It was the only other option that I could come up with.”

Reaching for Joel’s hand, she pulled it from her face and sat up making him frown. Pushing up, Joel noticed the way that she was crying again and he slid in closer to her, “It’s hard pretending everything is fine when I know that Poppy isn’t here anymore Joel.”

“You aren’t pretending it is fine,” Joel whispered, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. “You’re just here trying to figure out what is happening. And we’re going to. For Poppy.”

“I don’t even know what I’m going to tell her parents,” she explained clasping her fingers together in her lap. The ache at the center of her chest grew and she let out a tremoring breath. “Poppy was a mess, but she was my mess. And I’m never going to have that in my life again. I just expect her to pop in at the worst times saying the most ridiculous things…”

A weak laugh fell from her throat when she pointed at the door and let out a whimper lowering her head again. Wrapping his arms around her, Joel hugged her tightly knowing that she was going through things he would never be able to understand right now. But this had to be her way of coping while they were here.

“I’m never going to forgive myself Joel. You can say what you want, but Poppy’s death is on me. I should have just been fucking mature, but instead I wanted to piss off my father. Throw this grand party to make him angry, but he didn’t even care. If I wasn’t throwing that fucking party, she wouldn’t have even been there,” she thought aloud hating that her best friend got tied up in all of this. “I didn’t even want to be there at that party. I wanted to be with you.”

“At the same time I could blame myself that I didn’t allow you to come over that night,” Joel countered hating that she was putting so much pressure on herself from the death of her friend. “There are a lot of factors that led to what happened.”

“You had nothing to do with this. Even you, I guilted you into being there and I blame myself for that,” Y/N thought back to the night this whole thing started on her birthday. More than anything she wished she could go back in time and stop this whole thing from happening. “I just keep thinking about all the decisions I made that led to her getting killed Joel. I should have just left when I planned on leaving the day you stopped me. If I wasn’t around the three of you, Poppy would still be alive and the two of you wouldn’t be this hurt.”

“I don’t think any of us including Poppy would have been okay with leaving you,” Joel claimed with a frown, caressing his thumb over the curve of her jawline. His empathetic chocolate brown eyes were locked on hers and she felt a chill flooding her body.

“Poppy isn’t here to say that Joel,” she painfully breathed out hating to acknowledge that very thing. “I know Poppy wanted to be with me, but Poppy wouldn’t have wanted to be dead. It should have been me, not her.”

“Listen, I know you’re always going to have a hard time accepting this Y/N, but this isn’t your fault,” Joel explained with a frown, stroking his fingers over the back of her neck. “Truth is, this is the fault of the person that wants you dead. And they are going to pay for what they did.”

“He’s right,” a voice rumbled making them both look up toward the bathroom door to see that Negan was standing in the doorway just in a black pair of athletic pants. They obviously got lost in their conversation enough to not hear Negan getting out of the shower. Brushing his fingers through his wet hair, Negan slicked it back and shook his head. “This isn’t your fault. I know you, you would switch spots with her in a second if you could. Whoever did this, I promise you they are going to get fucking punished for it. I won’t let it slide.”

Moving to the bed, Negan sat down on the opposite side of her and rest his head against her shoulder nestling in against her while they both comforted her. It felt nice to have two people trying to make her feel better, but she still didn’t think she deserved this. Both Negan and Joel were too good for her. And she knew that.

Taking some time to calm down, Y/N agreed to take the next shower while Joel helped Negan get his ribs wrapped and cleaned his wounds. Unlike Negan, she closed the door to close them out so she had time to herself. Instead of being quick about things, she took her time. Crying in the shower was an uncontrollable thing that happened, but she was broken. The image of Poppy’s cold, dead body was locked in her mind and she knew it was the one thing she would remember the most of her friend. It was a nightmare that she saw every time she closed her eyes.

Once she was dressed, she pulled the door open and saw that both men were sitting at the edge of the bed diligently waiting for her. They were worried about her. With a nod, she motioned toward the bathroom to suggest that Joel take the next shower. Even though it seemed like he wanted to say something more to her, he listened.

With Joel in the shower Negan did his best to talk her through things and while he was always the best at being able to reach her, this was something that she wouldn’t just get over. It wasn’t that he expected her to, but he was doing his best and with being hurt it was taking a lot out of him. But he was going to comfort her to the best of his ability because that was just who Negan was. And that’s why she loved him as much as she did. There was no one in this world that she could count on as much as she did Negan.

Joel was quick in the shower too and she knew it was because he was worried about her. Still, she was worried about him and they all took care of each other. As weird as it was, the three of them were linked now and together they cared for each other. At the end of the day, all the three of them had were each other to count on and they understood that.

Getting downstairs was hard for Negan specifically and they helped him down for a dinner that Bill had made for them which was shockingly good. Like something out of a high-class restaurant where it was obvious that Bill took pride in his meals. After living off fast food it was incredibly strange to have a meal like this, but they enjoyed it to their best ability. Negan didn’t eat much likely from all the pain that he was in. When their meal was over Bill led them to his basement telling him he had things to share with them.

“Not what I was picturing,” Negan mouthed taking a look around the old items that were in Bill’s basement.

“That’s because you haven’t seen the main attraction,” Bill snickered reaching for the dresser that was pressed up against the wall. With ease Bill was able to push it into a vertical position revealing that it was the top of a hidden entrance that led somewhere lower.

“Well fuck me,” Negan gazed down at the opening in the floor and Frank grabbed a hold of him so he wouldn’t fall in. “That’s fucking awesome.”

“Wait until you’ve seen the whole getup,” Bill motioned Negan down, but there was no way that Negan was going to be able to get down those steep steps on his own. Taking initiative, Frank went first and helped Negan wobble his way down the steps into the bunker that Bill had made for himself. Once they were down safely, Joel waited for Y/N to go next and then he followed her down. Once Joel’s feet hit the floor, Bill was coming down and closing them in. Negan was gazing over the walls that were covered in guns in amazement.

“Holy shit,” Negan’s words dragged out in a slur while Frank continued to hold onto him. “Bill is a fucking bad ass. Who would have known.”

“Paranoid is more the term I think I would use,” Frank suggested making Bill grumble under his breath and frown. Looking back at Bill, Frank offered up a weak smile and sighed. “He’s proud of his collection though.”

“He’s prepared for a fucking war,” Negan inspected the guns that were before him and bit down on his bottom lip. There was ammunition galore and Negan was actually in awe of everything. Moving around the group, Bill hit a button on the computer making the screen light up also drawing attention to the monitors he had of the security cameras that were watching both the house and the small town. Moving around the space, Negan gazed out at the monitors and shook his head. “I think paranoid is an understatement. Holy shit. Damn Mr. Smarty Pants, you really stocked this whole place full of goodies, didn’t you?”

“One day you’re going to realize that this was all for a good purpose,” Bill insisted noticing the way that Y/N stepped forward to look at the multiple screens. There was a person passing the house on a walk and it shocked her. When Bill was a hacker, this wasn’t exactly what she pictured. Reaching out to touch one of the monitors, Bill wrapped his thick stubby fingers around her wrist and stopped her. “No touching.”

“Careful Bill,” Joel warned stepping forward to grab Bill’s wrist himself so that he would release Y/N’s wrist. “Not everyone is used to something like this so they are going to be curious.”

“You were one of those Y2K people, weren’t you?” Negan snickered, bobbing his head about weakly. Even in his state Negan couldn’t help being a smart-ass making Bill roll his eyes. “You have this house prepared for a fallout, don’t you?”

“I’m a survivalist,” Bill corrected Negan’s words, taking a seat in front of the computer that he had set up. “This is a fucked up world and we need to be prepared for anything. And I am. If you knew the things that I did, you would want to be like me too.”

“I can only imagine the things that you hold in that big brain of yours, but I’m not sure I would ever want to be like you Bill,” Negan slurred making Joel smirk happy that someone was giving Bill shit and at least pushing his buttons a bit. Even though Negan was impressed, Joel still knew that Bill had severely upset Negan so he was going to fuck with Bill and get on his nerves.

“Are you going to show us something?” Y/N pondered knowing that it was interesting to see what Bill was capable of, but there was a point to this whole thing.

“You know, I wasn’t expecting all of you to show up today so I didn’t do a deep dive that I think you all may be expecting from me. I only got through the bare minimum to catch up with the whole situation,” Bill declared hitting a few keys bringing up multiple things on his screen. “After Joel asked me to look into what happened at the motel, I was able to pull up security video from both the motel and the club. This Half Moon guy shows up a few hours after you did and he just waits on his motorcycle.”

A video started to play showing exactly what Bill was saying to be true, “With facial recognition, I was able to discover that this Half Moon guy is a wannabe country singer. Popular in certain crowds but is apparently more talented at killing than he is singing. Or should I say was?”

Bill giggled thinking he made some kind of joke when he looked over his shoulder to see Negan’s eyes narrowing at him from where Frank was helping to keep him standing up. When no one else found the joke funny, he pulled up closer to the computer with his desk chair.

“Tough crowd,” Bill breathed under his breath making Joel tense up beside Y/N. Joel tapped his fingers against the desk trying to hint Bill to move along and Bill waved his hand in the air dismissively. “Keep your pants on Joel.”

“After you left the room, he followed you into the club,” Bill motioned to Y/N to look at the screen showing Half Moon following after her. How did someone that big go unnoticed to her. Was she really that locked up inside of herself to begin to even notice him? How did he go completely unnoticed? “From there he just sat at the opposite end of the bar and watched you. Almost came up to you until Negan showed up.”

Shaking her head, Y/N hated that she let this happen. If she wouldn’t have had a fit over Joel wanting to be with his daughter, maybe it wouldn’t have led to all of this.

“Once I found out his identity, I was able to track his cell phone and he got a text from the same number that was interacting with Perry,” Bill informed them, stopping the video when the video camera on the street caught Half Moon going into the motel room with Poppy. It made Y/N let out a hurt sound and Joel curled his arm around her to allow her to rest her head against the center of his chest when seeing her friend alive for the last time upset her. “They reached out to him this time. Offered him the same money amount. Gave him the same address to take the body once he killed Y/N. I don’t know why he killed her friend. He got nothing out of it.”

“He was a sick bastard, that’s why,” Joel grumbled under his breath making Bill gaze back at them and for the first time it looked like he may have had empathy for Y/N with her crying against Joel’s chest. “What about after we left?”

“I don’t know if she wants to be here for this,” Bill muttered, his eyebrows furrowing when he pushed away from his computer making her head pull from Joel’s chest to stare down at him.

“What?” she inquired making Bill gaze back at Frank who gave them a nod. “I deserve to know.”

“After you left, no calls were made to the police. About ten minutes after Joel got off the phone with me a cleanup crew arrived,” Bill declared showing the video where people actually showed up, but then the video seemed to be wiped clean. “Someone with a whole lot of power was able to knock out the security cameras. I’m assuming that your father had someone sent out to clean up the scene so this wasn’t on his record for running for governor. There were no reports on a body matching your friend’s description. Nothing about the fight or the bodies. I think your father found out about your friend dying and sent a crew to hide this from the media so it didn’t soil his name. Because I’ve found nothing on Half Moon or Poppy’s bodies. Not even a peep about the motel room you tore to shit.”

“That’s not what Simon said they were going to do,” Negan spoke up, his head shaking making everyone turn to look back at him. “Simon is her father’s head of security and they said that they would make sure that they would send someone to look into things.”

“If by look into things you mean have this erased so it wouldn’t affect his votes that he would be getting, then yeah, that’s exactly what her father did,” Bill snorted making Frank reach out to place his hand in over his shoulder to warn him to tone it down a bit. “I wish I had something better to tell you, I do. But I don’t.”

“My father cares more about his career than he does my life or my best friend’s life. He has made that more than clear since this whole thing began,” she snarled knowing that the only thing she felt for her father at this point was extreme hatred. “He’s pushed this whole thing under the rug. First it was the group of men that tried to kill us at the first safehouse and now it’s Poppy.”

“Bill, you have to have some kind of idea who is doing this,” Joel pushed making Bill huff and go back to the computer to type some things. “You have to help us figure this whole thing out.”

“I plan to, but what you are asking me to do isn’t something I’m going to be able to do in a few hours. Let alone one day. It’s going to take weeks. You have no idea how hard it was for me to just do what I’ve done,” Bill claimed with a grumble making Y/N let out a shuddering breath. “Trust me, you all need a few weeks anyways. Even if I could come up with something quickly, which I can’t, looking at both of you Joel and Negan, neither one of you is up for a fight. You can’t win a fight looking like you do now. The big one can barely stand and Joel, I’ve definitely seen you look prettier.”

“You expect us to stay here for weeks?” Negan scoffed making Bill look back over his shoulder at Negan who was glaring down at him. Standing up from his computer, Bill stood before Negan and nodded.

“If you want answers, you’re going to lay low for a few weeks here. That’s your only option. Trust me, that’s not what I would prefer either because every day you are here the more you put us in danger, but I agreed to do this and I’m going to do it,” Bill shoved his hands into his pockets, flipping his long hair back with the movement his head made. “Unless of course you want to go back out there and run into things like the giant country singing cowboy killer again.”

“We haven’t had a moment of peace in quite some time. I think laying low here for a while should be fine. As long as Rick is going to take good care of Sarah and Tommy, that’s all that matters to me,” Joel spoke up for the three of them, his throat tensing up when Negan gave him a firm nod. “Bill is right. More than anything, the three of us need some good rest. And Bill took care of the SUV. Here we are going to be hidden and safe.”

After they heard everything Bill had to tell them, Frank and Joel helped Negan up the steep stairs that Bill had built to his bunker. When it was just Bill and Y/N together, Bill reached for her wrist and pulled her back before she could walk away, “I don’t like people.”

“No kidding,” she piped making Bill’s eyebrows furrow while he looked up toward the opening where the three men would be above them.

“I hated the world until Frank came into my life. He made me see things I would have never seen,” Bill confided, his eyes narrowing while he unhurriedly released her wrist. “Because of him and how he feels about this whole thing, I promise you I will do everything I can to help you. I’m not a fan of your father and I know I’m strange, but I do know what it’s like to have a terrible father like that. Someone who never lets you truly be…you. Nor does he care about your better health. I promise I will use all of my resources to help you figure this whole thing out.”

Kindness. That was not something she expected to ever receive from Bill. Especially after the way he displayed himself to be over and over again.

“Thank you,” she whispered standing before Bill not certain how to respond to what he just said to her. Giving her a nod, Bill raised his hand and led her toward the stairs. Once she came up, Negan was waiting at the top for her eager to grab her hand to help her out. After she was safely back up, Negan did the same for Bill and when Bill got to the top, Negan firmly pulled Bill forward making Bill stumble forward toward him. “Negan?”

“From the moment you talked to me on the phone, I told myself that I was going to punch the fucking taste out of your mouth when I finally saw you,” Negan made Bill swallow down hard with the glare that Negan was giving him. Keeping his grasp firm around Bill’s thick fingers, Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat with his jaw flexing. “But I’m not going to. As much as I want to, what you have down there is pretty fucking cool. You’re weird. Really fucking weird. But I respect you and I like Frank. A lot. So I’m going to let what you said slip out of respect for what you can do and outta respect for your significant other.”

“Thank you,” Bill slurred his blue eyes narrowing when Negan finally released him with a small shove. Gazing over at Frank made him frown and he straightened up his shirt that Negan had ruffled. “I am sorry for saying what I did the other night.”

“No you’re not,” Negan shook his head feeling Joel hooking his arm around his waist when Joel visibly noticed that Negan’s knees were getting weak. “But I understand you.”

“Come on buddy,” Joel urged Negan to follow him toward the stairs.

“Thank you,” Y/N looked between both Bill and Frank, letting out a surprised breath when Frank reached for her hands and gave them a firm squeeze.

“If you need anything, please don’t be afraid to let us know,” Frank uttered noticing the sadness that was still in her eyes. Moving forward, he wrapped his arms around her to give her a hug. At first, she was uncomfortable, but allowed the warm gesture and loosened up in his arms. Having a stranger comforting her like this was not something she thought she would be okay with but there was something extremely soothing about Frank. “We’re here for you.”

Closing her eyes, she felt the same energy from Frank that she often felt from Poppy making her let out a hurt sound. Hearing her crying alerted Frank to squeeze her harder in his arms hushing her when she got emotional. Getting the empathy from Frank felt different than being around Negan or Joel. When she pulled back, it was hard to hide that she was crying and she reached up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry for getting tears on your shirt,” she realized that Frank’s shirt was wet and he waved his hand about in the air.

“I’ve gotten much worse on my clothes before darling,” Frank winked making her smirk before heading for the stairs. “You know where to find me if you need me. Last door on the right. Any time of the night. I’m always ready to talk.”

Heading upstairs, she knew that this would take some getting used to, but she was almost happy that Frank was here. He reminded her of Poppy and while it hurt to be around someone like that, it kept the image of Poppy alive in her head for her. That’s what she needed the most right now and Frank was helping deliver that.

For the next few weeks, they lived at Bill’s home. The first few days were all about getting rest for them. More so for Joel and Negan. They were the ones that needed the rest. Sharing a king-sized bed with the two of them she thought would be more uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. Joel slept on one side and Negan the other with her in the middle. Jealousy didn’t seem to exist with the two of them while they were at Bill’s after that first day. They were a team and it seemed like both men seemed to understand that. Then again, there wasn’t much sweeping each other off their feet. Sleep was the predominant thing that they did.

Occasionally she would take a walk with Frank around the small town that Bill lived in. In the time that they lived at Bill’s home, she had gotten incredibly close to Frank. Hell, it was easy to do. His personality was loving and caring. Frank made her feel more at home than anyone had in a very long time. When he was awake, Negan seemed to get along well with both Frank and surprisingly Bill. The two of them shared a passion and a love for cooking. So dinners were often cooked by both Negan and Bill together which was some of the best meals she had in years. Negan also enjoyed spending time with Frank because they would garden together and talk, a lot. That was one thing Negan and Frank were very much capable of. Talking.

Joel floated a little bit everywhere. Frank and Bill were two people that Joel already knew so it wasn’t exactly a learning experience for Joel. But that didn’t mean he didn’t fit in because he did. Joel was just never big on being social. Joel was more of a loner or was more open around his small group of people which was her and Negan. This whole experience also gave Negan and Joel a chance to get closer. And boy did they. From there talks about sports to many other things, at night sometimes they would keep her up with their talking across the bed to one another.

This morning she had woken up early. The night before was a hard one for her because Bill had brought up something about Poppy bringing back hard memories for her. Both men tried to comfort her, but sleep was not something that was going to happen for her.

Shifting, she breathed out heavily when she realized that she was being held by both men while she was at the center of the bed with both of them sleeping. Negan was holding her hand with his head cuddled in against her shoulder. Joel had his arm draped across her waist with his head resting over her collar bone and she sighed.

Wiggling, she did her best to keep them asleep while she worked her way out of the bed. Once she did, she changed into some jeans, a white tank top and a button down before making her way downstairs. A surprised sound fell from her lips when she saw that Bill was sitting in the living room at the piano strumming at the keys.

“You’re up early,” she commented stepping forward making Bill jump, gaze back at her and grumble. It wasn’t the first time she had woken up in the morning to come down and see him at the piano. Often, he was down working in his bunker, but if he wasn’t there or in the kitchen, by the piano was where she could always find Bill. “You really like playing that thing, huh? You and Negan are always playing that.”

“It calms me,” Bill explained letting out an uncomfortable breath when she moved beside him on the bench that was before the piano. It made him tense up and she hushed him motioning him to put his hands back over the keys. “I’m particular about my music.”

“I was born into a rich family like yourself Bill. You don’t think I didn’t learn how to play the piano?” she strummed a few keys herself. Bill looked to her with disbelief and she shrugged her shoulders. “You wanna guess what the first thing they had me learn was?”

“Chopsticks?” Bill quipped back making her smirk and nod her head. Giving her an expecting glance he held his hands over the keys and watched her do the same. At the same time they started playing together making Bill snort while she managed to keep up with him. After about a minute, he groaned and pulled his fingers away. “God, I hated that one.”

“As did I, but I never forgot it,” she joked with a loud sigh looking to Bill. “You know Heart and Soul?”

“Of course I know that,” Bill grumbled under his breath waiting for her to prepare herself while they both started playing together. “You know, you’re not what I thought you were.”

“I’m probably everything you thought I was Bill,” she stated simply continuing to play with Bill through the song finding herself having no problem in remembering the keys that she played so constantly as a child. “I was born into a rich family. I was pampered. I was privileged. I was ignored. My parents wanted me to learn to play the piano to show off to their other rich friends, but do you think they ever showed up to one of my recitals? Nope. I was abandoned by my mother at a young age, but you probably already know that. Hell, you probably know everything about me, don’t you?”

“As much as someone could learn through technology, but not everything,” Bill stopped playing listening to her still playing her part of the song. Leaning back, he turned on the bench to watch her. “There has been something that has been on my mind since I went through your text messages…”

“Well shit,” she smirked hearing him sigh loudly. “Should I be worried?”

“I just…” Bill cleared his throat uneasily and tipped his head to the side. This wasn’t really any of his business, but it was something that he kept thinking about and with her alone he finally decided to bring it up. “Does Joel know?”

“Does Joel know what?” she stole a quick stare at him and by the way that he was looking at her, it immediately clicked for her what Bill was asking. It made the color drain from her face and she hit the wrong key letting it linger before pulling her hands away from the piano. “Oh, that.”

“I don’t mean to pry,” Bill continued realizing that him bringing up what he did really had brought her down while she hit the same key a few times on the piano. “What you went through…”

“So many women do,” she slurred noticing that Bill seemed to be staring out at her with compassion and she wasn’t sure that she wanted it. Her voice was hitched, searching for the right things to say when he noticed that her eyes were damp. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. It happened in the first few months. And…”

“It’s a big deal,” Bill corrected her making her frown and she was undeniably uncomfortable staring him in the eyes while he brought up something she tried to hide from the rest of the world. “I know compared to this, it probably feels like it’s nothing, but from your texts…”

“Bill, the only person to ever know about that was Poppy,” she finally spoke up with a whimper making Bill frown when she looked to him again. There was a single tear sliding down her face and he felt something he hadn’t in a very long time. Guilt. “You didn’t tell Joel, did you?”

“Of course not. I’m an asshole, but I’m not that big of one,” Bill defended himself placing his hand over the center of his chest wishing he had the right words to say right now, but he didn’t.

“Please keep this between us,” she begged of Bill knowing that before this whole thing started, the thing he was talking about was the event that was the worst thing she experienced. “Poppy was the one person that was part of the whole thing. I didn’t want anyone else to know.”

“You used her name when you went to the doctors,” Bill noted making Y/N inhale sharply and let out a tense breath. “I know I have no right bringing this up to you. I realize now what I did to Negan and seeing the things I did with you was wrong. I just, I can tell that you and Poppy were close. I’m no good with words.”

“She took me to that appointment and let me use her name so my father didn’t find out,” she swallowed down hard letting out a shuddering breath. A whimpering sound fell from her throat when she looked up at Bill with tears in her eyes. “She was the only one that was there for me through that.”

“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell Joel. It was his baby,” Bill spoke up in a whisper making Y/N smirk and look to Bill with a shrug of her shoulders. “It’s your body, but you think you would need him to help you through your miscarriage.”

“It’s complicated,” she simply said, her bottom lip quivering when she looked away from Bill.

“Even hiding it from your father, you were very much an adult,” Bill tried to reason it out in his head making Y/N smirk.

“Bill, Joel was my professor. I know you know that. I had to keep the pregnancy a secret because if my father found out he would have kicked me out of his life then and there. When I had the miscarriage, Poppy let me use her name because you know if my father found out it would have been a big deal. Look what he’s done to cover up everything that is going on right now,” she thought about her father and the extremes he was willing to go through in order to keep his good image. “If the press were to find out that Philip Blake’s daughter had a miscarriage, first they would have found out who the father was. It would have ruined Joel’s career if it was revealed he knocked up his student. And you know the media they would have spun it in some conservative propaganda. I was already broken enough over it. That’s why I kept it a secret. I wanted to suffer through it alone, not involve the whole world.”

“But I feel like you should have told Joel that you were pregnant,” Bill pushed, his voice rasp while he did his best to keep himself quiet. “You should have told him about the miscarriage. It was not something you should have suffered through alone.”

“I wasn’t alone, I had Poppy. Plus, you know Joel, right?” Y/N pushed making Bill take in a sharp breath and give her a nod. “You looked through most of my texts, you probably saw our relationship up until now. No matter how many times I told Joel I loved him, I never got it back from him. Back then? I didn’t know what I knew now with Joel. I thought he would hate me if he ever found out about it. There wasn’t a good way to tell someone who was uncomfortable with you telling him that you loved him that you were pregnant with his baby. Plus, I thought I was being safe, but it still happened.”

Bill went to say something, but instead he frowned and just lowered his head to look down at his fists that were balled up in his lap.

“It was probably for the best Bill. I only just found out on my birthday that when our relationship started it was all fake. I’m sure you’re aware of what Joel did. When he called me into his office that first day, I was so smitten with him. The way he looked at me, the way he made me feel,” she recalled her relationship with Joel cracking a small smile. “I mean there was Negan, but when I met Joel, Negan was still married and it was just a silly crush I had on him. Joel was the first person that made me feel special and seen. Beyond Negan and Poppy I mean. We hit it off immediately, I mean…at least I thought we did. I thought we just had this undeniable chemistry that was off the charts. I thought I got lucky catching the extremely gorgeous professor that every girl wanted. He was shy, but so charming. I thought I hit the lottery. When in reality he was just using me to get back at my father. After my father screwed Joel over and he realized what my name was, he let his rage for my father get the best of him and he didn’t even love me anyways.”

“From his texts…” Bill searched for things to say, biting down on his tongue knowing that he had seen conversations in texts between Joel and Tommy about what Joel was doing. Tommy knew from the start what Joel was doing. Joel didn’t seem to hide things from his little brother. And in the texts Tommy didn’t agree with what Joel was doing at all. But through time, Joel’s texts had softened about Y/N and he talked less like she was a conquest and more about someone he did care about. “By the time you lost the baby…”

“Listen, I love Joel and now we’re okay,” she whimpered feeling her chest aching at the thought of everything. “But when I had my miscarriage, it wouldn’t have mattered to him. I was afraid to tell him I was pregnant to start with, but the miscarriage saved me the trouble of having to tell him.”

“Joel is a lot of things, but I think if you would have told him he would have changed his way of thinking,” Bill reasoned with her reaching out to place his hand in over her knee watching the way her eyes looked up at him. “You can still have children, right?”

“I can, but now is not the time for me to be thinking about children Bill,” Y/N decided reaching up to wipe away at the tears that were staining her face. “I don’t even know if I am going to make it to the end of the year. Let alone be a mother. Plus, with Joel and Negan…”

“It’s complicated,” Bill filled in for her making her smirk and nod her head. “I could tell.”

“Bill,” she spoke quietly, her eyes finally connecting with his again. “If you know everything there is to know about me, you know how close Poppy and I were. You know what she’s done for me. If you do one thing for me, I need you to figure out who got my friend killed. Okay?”

“I will,” Bill vowed with his blue eyes locked on her when she stood from the bench. As she moved for the front door, he called out to her and watched her turn on her heel. “Where are you going?”

“For a walk,” she pointed toward the door and shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I promise. I just need some time to think. It’s a bright sunny morning. It’s a weekend. I’ll be okay.”

Instead of fighting her, Bill let her walk out the door. Huffing loudly, Bill got up from the bench that he was on and made his way upstairs. Heading to the guest bedroom, he carefully pushed open the door letting out a surprised sound when he saw that Joel had his arm draped across Negan’s abdomen and his head resting against Negan’s shoulder while they both slept.

An amused breath fell from his throat making Joel lift his head up with tired eyes noticing that Bill was staring out at him snickering. Looking to where he was, Joel scrambled backwards when he realized that he was cuddled up to Negan.

“No judgement here Joel,” Bill waved his hand about watching Joel pull himself up to the edge of the bed to pinch at the bridge of his nose in a tired fashion. “I just came in here to tell you that Y/N went out for a walk and when she left, she was kind of…emotional?”

“About what?” Joel pulled himself up from the bed and headed over to grab some clothes.

“I uh…” Bill cleared his throat and waved his hand about. “Things.”

“That’s not vague,” Joel pulled his pajamas off leaving him in his black boxer briefs while he worked to tug his blue jeans up his body. “Did Frank go with her?”

“No, she went alone,” Bill answered making Joel grunt out when he pulled his shirt off and quickly put on a white t-shirt. Tipping his head to the side, Bill let out a surprised sound when Joel reached for a blue button down to pull it in over his arms. “You two definitely are connected because what you just picked to wear matches her so much.”

“Bill?” Joel grumbled looking back at Negan who adjusted at the center of the bed showing that he was still very much asleep. “Where is she?”

“We can figure it out. You know I have cameras all over this town,” Bill waved Joel on to have him come down with him to his bunker so they could find out what area she was headed in. When Joel went to go after her, Bill reached for Joel’s wrist and cleared his throat. “Be gentle with her. I brought up something that was a bit of a sensitive topic with her.”

With an annoyed breath, Joel quickly pulled himself out of Bill’s bunker and then headed out of the house. Swiftly moving through the streets, he saw that Y/N was headed for the big hill that overlooked the small town.

“Hey,” Joel called out to Y/N making her look back over her shoulder at him as he worked to catch up with her, moving in beside her. “Where are you headed?”

“Up here?” she breathed out looking him over to see that they matched except for the over shirts that they decided to wear making her smirk. “Nice choice of clothing.”

“Great minds think alike, huh?” Joel offered up a weak smile making her smirk and look down. Her eyes were still red making Joel sigh knowing that she was definitely emotional after whatever Bill had said to her this morning. “You okay?”

“I will be,” she assured him feigning a grin knowing that she was still so lost inside of the darkness that was lingering in her heart after losing the one person in her life that she considered her family. It was hard to really open up to Joel about things. What Bill had talked to her about was something that always weighed heavy on her. After Joel explained to her that she was just someone that he took advantage of to piss off her father, she assumed the miscarriage is why she took it all so hard. After her miscarriage she kind of clung to Joel and wanted him happy. Hearing at the beginning of this trip that their relationship was fake from the start broke her more than it should have. Everything hit her so hard because she had this connection with Joel that she had never told him about. Well, she never told anyone but Poppy, but now Bill knew too.

“Hey,” Joel whispered with the back of his fingers skimming over hers. Looking down, she hooked her fingers with his and let out a nervous sound.

“What did Bill tell you?” she wondered hoping like hell that Bill kept his word and didn’t tell Joel what they talked about. Shrugging his shoulders, Joel didn’t have an answer and she rolled her eyes. “Joel, there had to be a reason that you came running after me.”

“He told me you went off on your own for a walk and you were emotional,” Joel explained to her with a yawn knowing that he was still barely awake. “I don’t think you should be running off on your own, so I got quickly dressed and I came after you. As you can tell by the messy hair. Negan was still sleeping and we used Bill’s cameras around town to find you.”

“Oh, that doesn’t invade my privacy at all,” she sniffled finding amusement in his comment about finding her, but she still was trying to push past her emotions. Tipping his head from side to side she knew that they hadn’t wanted her to wander on her own, but she needed a moment.

“Why are you running off on your own,” Joel inquired, his eyebrows furrowing when he looked to her. The sun was shining just right on her face to bring attention to her eyes and how beautiful they looked even though she had undoubtedly been crying.

“It’s a small-town Joel. Walking around it makes me comfortable. It opens my mind up and Frank wasn’t up so I had to go on my own,” she replied back with a tiny snicker knowing that Frank had become her sidekick since they had been living at Bill’s. “I was going to go up this hill because no one really comes up here often and it felt like it would be more private than the gazebo by his house or the church.”

“Fair enough,” Joel grumbled moving in closer to her while they made their way up the hill. Once they got there, there was a big tree at the top that had a tire swing hanging from its thick, overgrown branches. Once they stopped walking, he gazed over to her to see that she was staring off in the distance at the small town that Bill lived in. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Joel, there are some things that I just don’t feel comfortable talking to you about,” she admitted looking straight ahead, her eyes tearing over while she stared out at the barely awake town down below. Tears were burning at her eyes again and she smirked looking down at the ground. “And what I talked about with Bill is one of those things. It was something that I only talked to Poppy about and with Bill digging into our texts, well…Bill knows now too.”

“Now I’m curious,” Joel alerted her, his dark eyes narrowing surprising him to hear her talk like that. When he woke up, he just assumed it was something about Poppy, but it sounded like it was something more by the way that she was talking. “Do I have to be worried about whatever it is?”

“It doesn’t affect your life in any way,” she assured him, lifting her hand to see that his fingers were still hooked with hers. Guilt ate away at her when she bit at her bottom lip and let out a broken sound. “It doesn’t even matter anymore.”

“But it matters to you, which means it matters to me,” Joel reasoned with her, stepping forward before using his other hand to reach up to palm in over the side of her face. Caressing his palm in over her flesh he urged her eyes to meet his and he gave her a supportive nod of his head. “I’m here for you Y/N.”

“Why couldn’t you be this Joel the whole time?” she whispered making the expression over his face change and he took a step back. That hit him harder than he expected. There was a tear sliding down the side of her face that he swept away before shaking his head. “God, things would have been so much easier over the last two years if this was the Joel I knew.”

“I reckon I was always this Joel, I was just confused and making some seriously stupid decisions,” Joel breathed out knowing that he couldn’t defend his actions because there was nothing that could explain them. “I got lost, but I’m here now. And I know this is where I belong.”

“You belong with your daughter, but you’re stuck here with me,” she corrected him making him frown and let go of her hand so his other palm could cup her face to bring her closer to him. “You know I’m right.”

“It’s a situation we both fell into, but this is the place I’m choosing to be right now,” Joel swallowed down, his chocolate brown eyes serious while he stared down at her. “Yes, my daughter is my life, but you’re part of it too. I know my daughter would support the decision I’ve made in wanting to help you. Because I’m a hero in her eyes and it’s time I finally did something right in my life. And you are the first thing I’ve done right in a very long time. Maybe the first thing since Sarah was born.”

“Damn it Joel,” she scoffed, pulling away from him and moving over toward the large tree that was behind them. Resting back against it, she dragged her hands down her face. Joel moved before her, resting his hands on his hips while he stared out at her. “You make things so hard. I thought I made a choice at the motel. You were leaving and Negan is so perfect…”

“No one is asking you to make a choice,” Joel reasoned with her, folding his arms out in front of his chest. There was a muscle that flexed in his jaw when he threw his right hand up. “I don’t think Negan or I expect you to make a choice. Not now anyways.”

“You weren’t a choice before recently,” she reminded him making him huff out loudly, his eyes lowering down toward the ground. “I’ve spent the last two years head over heels in love with you Joel. And over these last few weeks you have been exactly the man I always longed for you to be. But I have Negan who is the perfect man. Who has done everything for me. And I love him…”

“You’re right. He is perfect for you,” Joel agreed with her stepping forward closer to her making her let out a sharp breath. “And I know you love him, I don’t care. I told you that I was okay with you loving both of us. And I meant it. But I also know how I feel about you. I know that I want to protect you. I want to be part of your life…”

Outstretching his hand, Joel caressed over her shoulder making her look to where he was touching her. Getting even closer, Joel’s sigh was loud when his body pressed in against hers pressing her further against the tree, “And what the two of us have, the passion and tension between us…Negan is perfect, but our story is the stronger one. We’ve been through so much together and we’re still…together.”

“Joel,” she shuddered with the warmth of his breath over her lips. Pressing his hands beside her against the tree, Joel nuzzled his nose in against hers making her eyes come to a tight close. “I can’t choose right now. I love you both, so much.”

“I’m not asking you to choose. I’m okay with you loving both of us,” Joel pressed his forehead to hers cuddling his head with hers making her body tremble at the closeness. Caressing up and over his shoulders she knew to be careful since he was still healing. “The thought of losing you destroyed me Y/N. I thought I was okay with writing off what the two of us had, but I’m not. You’re part of me.”

Releasing a loud exhale, Y/N hooked her arms around his shoulders and his arms instinctively wrapped around her waist when he pulled her in closer to him. Silence surrounded them while they held one another close with his nose nuzzling in against the side of her neck.

“Come here,” Joel hummed against her lips, not kissing her but leaving her with the sensation of his lips over hers. Grabbing her hand, he led her toward the tire swing holding tightly to it making her give it a scrutinizing expression. “Get on it.”

“I am not getting in some old tire swing that is going to break,” she refused with a wrinkle of her nose letting out a gasp when Joel took a running jump and hopped onto it making the tire on the old rope swing out. With the power, the branch that it was tied to tugged somewhat while Joel swung back and forth on it using his legs as the power to swing it. “Jesus. Okay Tarzan, you could barely move a few days ago. Calm down with that. The last thing we need is you falling on your back and hurting yourself all over again.”

“Don’t be the boring one in the relationship Y/N,” Joel hopped down from the swing giving her a wicked smirk when he wiped his hands off on his pants. There was an ache in his leg that he injured and maybe that was a poor decision, but he was trying to lighten the mood for her. “I was the one that was always the boring one, not you.”

“You dick,” she huffed moving forward to hit at the center of his chest before putting her legs through the tire. When she was in safely, Joel started to push it for her making her gasp when she grasped tightly to it. “I’m too old for this shit.”

“You’re never too old to have fun,” Joel asserted finding himself happy when she started smiling with the way that he was doing the tire swing with her.

For a while she just allowed him to push her on the swing until she let out a sigh, “I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

“Good enough for me,” Joel snickered managing to get the swing to stop. Helping her out, he let out a gasp when she put enough power into pulling back out of the tire swing that they both fell back onto the grass with her falling over him. After groaning out loudly, Joel started laughing making her drop her head down against his chest in embarrassment. “You are so clumsy.”

“Come on, stop,” she giggled lifting her head up to see that his face was flushed over with the way he was laughing. “It was an accident.”

“I’m aware,” Joel growled rolling her over onto her back beside him on the grass. Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel cuddled his head in against the side of her neck and exhaled loudly. “You smell good.”

“I took a shower last night,” she reminded him closing her eyes when the warmth of his breath lingered over the side of her neck. Sinking her fingers into Joel’s hair, she loved this close contact touching that he was doing with her. Rolling onto her back, she felt Joel sliding in next to her on the grass while his fingers traced over the side of her body. “Joel?”

“Yes?” Joel breathed out, his chocolate eyes connecting with hers. Tracing his fingers up over her shoulder and over the side of her neck toward her jawline had her tremoring.

“If I kept something from you, would you hate me for it?” she questioned kissing at the pad of his thumb when he dragged it across her bottom lip.

“What could you possibly keep from me that would make me hate you?” Joel frowned leaning in to press a kiss over her temple. Lowering his kisses down over her face had her shuddering while she laid beside him. “After everything I’ve done, I would have no room to judge you.”

Thinking back on her discussion with Bill made her eyes tear over again, but Joel hushed her while he brushed them away and started to press gentle kisses over her eyes after she closed them, lowering them down over her cheeks when he nuzzled his nose in against the side of her face.

“I…” she reached out to brush her fingers through Joel’s hair when he gave her his full attention. Something inside of her wanted to tell Joel what happened in the past, but she was fighting it inside because of the fear of how he would respond to it. “I feel so lucky to have you here with me right now. I hope you know that.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Joel whispered taking her breath away. Noticing the way that Joel’s shirt was riding up over his abdomen, she reached out to brush her fingers over the exposed flesh that was there. Raising up on her arm enough she outstretched enough to meet his lips in a lingering kiss. With time the kiss grew and she reached for his shirt to pull him in over her. “I wish I was the man you needed all along.”

Hearing that made her heart skip a beat in her chest. Getting him to kiss her again, she cherished the warmth of his lips over hers. Each caress was tender and loving causing her to brush her fingers through his messy hair. Crawling in over him, she settled her hips in over his enjoying the way his hands caressed up and over the sides of her body. Laying down in over him, she traced over his features with her fingertips making him turn his head in to press loving kisses over the inside of her palm.

Rolling her onto her back again, Joel moved in over her and traced his fingertips down the side of her face with his eyes gazing over her, “I love you.”

A lump developed in her throat while she stared up at Joel and reached out to stroke her thumb in over the side of his face. Parting her lips, she felt her tears burning at her eyes again after hearing him say that, “And this time, I actually believe you. That one was real.”

“It was very real,” Joel stammered, his eyelids heavy with the warmth of his breath lingering over her lips. “I mean it, with everything that I am.”

Having his lips hovering in over hers, she got caught up in kissing Joel. Every touch, every kiss was so much more impactful than the ones she felt in the past. Pulling away from his kisses, she rest her head against the center of his chest. Joel stroked his fingers over the back of her neck and she could hear the powerful beats of his heart from where she was resting. Staying there for a few moments, she felt safe and comfortable, but still that conversation that she had with Bill lingered making her squeeze her fingers around the material of Joel’s shirt.

“We should head back before the kids that use this swing come up here and see us making out,” she circled her fingers over the center of Joel’s chest making Joel chuckle. Joel cuddled his chin in over her head before kissing over her head. Carefully getting up, she helped Joel up from the ground and pulled him into a hug that he was eager to accept. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Joel repeated what she said, stroking his fingers through her hair before allowing her to lead him back down the hill that they were on hand in hand. Taking her time to get back to the house with him, things were circling in her mind making her think of Poppy, Joel and Negan all at once. When they got back to Bill’s, Bill asked Joel for help and she was thankful for that. “I’ll be back.”

“I’m going to go check on Negan,” she headed up the stairs when the two men disappeared. Once getting to the bedroom, Y/N opened the door to see that Negan was cuddled up to a pillow holding onto it tightly. Sitting down on the bed, she reached out to stroke her fingers through Negan’s hair making his eyes shift beneath his closed eyelids. Negan’s shirt was riding up revealing the healing bruising over his lower back making her frown.

“Good morning beautiful,” Negan yawned drawing her attention back to him when his eyelashes fluttered to an open. Palming in over the side of Negan’s face had him tipping his head in closer to her touch. Noticing the way that she looked down, Negan frowned and groaned when he pulled himself up unhurriedly. “What is it?”

“How do you always know when something is wrong?” she weakly smirked making him frown when he slid in closer to her and cuddled his head in next to hers. “You’re the only person who always knew when something was wrong. Even when I didn’t tell you.”

“That’s because I know you,” Negan whispered stroking his fingers over the side of her face making her bite down on her bottom lip. With a shuddering breath, Y/N felt her emotions getting the best of her while Negan comforted her. “What’s going on Y/N?”

“I don’t know what to do,” she answered with a shake of her head making Negan frown. “And that’s with my whole life. I don’t know what to do with Poppy gone. I don’t know how to live life normally anymore. I don’t know who I want to be with because…”

Tipping his head back, Negan’s hazel eyes grew heavy when she licked her lips, “Because I love both you and Joel. And I don’t want to pick who I want to be with. Not now.”

“Who is making you pick?” Negan tipped his head to the side asking the same question that Joel had earlier. “Right now with everything going on, that should be the last thing we’re worried about. We’re all together and that’s what matters right now.”

“You should be furious with me for loving Joel too,” she reasoned with Negan letting out a whimpering sound when Negan shook his head and brushed her hair behind her ear. “You’ve always been there for me, taken care of me…loved me.”

“I’m not going to force you to make a decision between the two of us,” Negan hushed her, stroking his fingers over her jawline pressing a loving kiss against the side of her face. “I like what we have now. I like that you feel comfortable with both of us.”

“I need to tell you something,” she reached for his hand, giving it a firm squeeze while he urged her in closer to him so he could wrap his arm loosely around her hips. “Do you remember a few months ago when I disappeared on you with Poppy? And when I came back, I was so…so depressed. And you just knew something was wrong? So you kept doing those things to make me smile. Pampered me for days even though I asked you to leave me alone?”

“I remember all the good and all the bad days Y/N,” Negan stated with a long sigh, his tired eyes watching her closely. “Why are you bringing that up?”

“I had a miscarriage Negan,” she blurt out in a quiet voice making his eyebrows furrow, the lines in his forehead growing. Leaning back, Negan’s face grew tense and she cleared her throat. “Not recently Negan, then. I got pregnant with Joel’s baby and I was so scared to tell him. The only person that knew was Poppy. I knew how I felt about Joel, but things were so hard back then with him. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. Hell, I didn’t want to be pregnant, but it happened. I don’t know if it was the stress from things or if I wasn’t healthy enough, but I ended up having a miscarriage in the first few months. I wondered if it happened because I was stressing so much about telling Joel that I was actually pregnant that I ended up losing the baby.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Negan frowned sweeping the tears away from her face while she cried beside him. “I would have done what I could with things. I would have been there.”

“Lucille just passed away Negan. The last thing you needed was worrying about me in any fashion,” she hushed Negan with a whimpering sound seeing the empathy in his eyes while he listened to her. “I had to go to the doctors and instead of going as myself Poppy let me use her name. So people thought Poppy got knocked up and fucked off too much causing her to lose a baby when in reality it was me. She did it so that my father didn’t find out. I never told Joel. Ever. And Poppy was the only person that knew, but you knew something was wrong and you wouldn’t let up, but I could never tell you because I was so embarrassed.”

“Why would you be embarrassed? I would never judge you for that,” Negan promised her, stroking his fingers through her hair and reaching out to pull her in closer to his chest so she could cuddle in closer to him. “Y/N?”

“You’re the one person I’ve told other than Poppy. You’re the only person I want to tell because you’re the only person that has understood me from the start. Saw me even when I hid myself so hard from the world,” she sobbed against his chest while Negan stroked his fingers over the back of her neck. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell Negan, but with it weighing heavy in her mind after her conversation with Bill she had to tell someone and Joel was not the person she felt comfortable telling. “I keep asking myself why I am so hooked on both you and Joel, but the answers are completely there right in front of me. With you, I have everything I could want and more, but with him…”

“There’s history,” Negan filled in the blanks making her nod, but not lift her head from Negan’s chest. “It makes sense.”

“I’m sorry for throwing this on you Negan, but Bill brought it up and I realized the one person that knew as gone and I couldn’t tell Joel. I don’t want Joel to know,” she whimpered making Negan tip his head back to look down at her when she raised her eyes to his. “You’re my best friend Negan. You’re also the man I love and know that I can tell absolutely anything to.”

“Anything,” Negan repeated in a whisper, stroking his thumb in over her bottom lip with his eyes genuinely worried about her. “I love you Y/N. No matter what, I’m here for you. And I always will be.”

“I’m in so much pain Negan, “she informed him crying without even trying to. “I know I have nothing to complain about because both you and Joel have been through so much physical pain that I am nothing in comparison, but my heart is broken. I was already broken before this happened. From my mom leaving me. To my dad just hating me and ready to cut me out of his life. To never feeling loved. Then all of this happened and I realized that I meant more to the world dead than I did alive.”

“That’s not true,” Negan shook his head, pulling her into his arms so he could hold her and allow her to rest back against his chest while squeezing his arms around her. “You mean so much to this world Y/N.”

“The one person who loved me my whole life is gone Negan,” she cried knowing that there was so much going on, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Poppy. “When I had nothing, I had Poppy. As crazy as she was, she was my family. My father didn’t even care about that. He doesn’t care about me. Someone wants me dead and I don’t even know why. All I feel is pain. I just want to feel better but no matter what I do I’m not going to. I want to forget about everything, but all I think about is Poppy walking through that door and saying something ridiculous and she’s just not going to. That’s my fault and that’s the weight I am going to have to carry my whole life. People thought Poppy was a shitty irresponsible person because of me. Poppy is now missing and dead because of me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come to terms with that. Because right now, I hate myself. I hate the decisions I’ve made in my life. I hate my family. My blood is dirty and I just…”

“You are not dirty. You are the woman that I love. You are what saved me when the darkness ate me alive,” Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck hating to hear her crying like this. “You have always been the light in my life since the moment you came into my life Y/N. Without you I would be absolutely fucking lost. I would have given up, but you saved me. I’m here because of you. I love you. And while I know you are in pain, you need to know that while you think you have nothing and you are nothing, you are my every fucking thing. You are everything to me. And I love you so much.”

Tipping her head back, her hand palmed in over the side of his face leading him to her lips so they could kiss in a passionate sweep that took her breath away. After, she cuddled into his arms and laid back against the center of his chest.

Hearing the sound of the door pushing open, Negan wondered if Y/N heard it when he saw that Joel was standing in the doorway. Clearing his throat, Negan could tell that Joel had heard everything that Y/N had said and he was doing his best to hold it together himself. Cuddling her in closer to him, Negan watched Joel step back and away from the door. Through the crack Negan saw Joel press his forehead against the wall before he lowered down. Joel covered his head and Negan knew in that moment Joel was undoubtedly crying too and he understood it.

It was the last thing that he knew Y/N would want Joel to hear, but he heard it. Negan was worried that Joel would explode after he heard what he did about her miscarriage, but instead Joel took his time out in the hallway while Negan comforted her. When Joel got it together, he managed to wipe at his face and headed back for the bedroom.

Once he entered it, Negan’s eyes locked with Joel’s and they didn’t have to say anything for them both to understand what the other was thinking. Lowering down onto the bed, Joel reached out and caressed his hand in over Y/N’s hip making her lift her head.

“Do you think you would be okay with a small little day trip?” Joel questioned, his eyebrows bouncing up before he reached for one of her hands to squeeze it in his. “I just got done talking to Bill and he said we could use his truck to do something nice. The three of us. What do you say? Just take a day to pretend to be normal?”

“Sure,” she gave Joel a nod, reaching to wipe at her face. It took a minute for her to gather herself before she pointed toward the bathroom. “Let me go and clean myself up so I don’t look terrible when we leave.”

“We’ll be here,” Joel offered up a weak smile when she headed for the bathroom. When she was in the bathroom, Negan reached out to touch Joel’s shoulder trying to comfort him from what he undoubtedly heard. Allowing Negan to do it, Joel shook his head and cleared his throat. “This isn’t about me. I’ll be fine. What’s most important is her.”

“Okay,” Negan breathed out, giving Joel’s shoulder another firm squeeze before standing up from the bed allowing Joel to have his space for a minute. Negan’s eyes were damp as well while he stared down at Joel. “I don’t think she would want you to find out like that. I don’t think she’d want you to be hurt.”

“I know,” Joel swallowed down hard, his lips parting when he looked between Negan and the door. “What’s important right now is her. And that’s what we both need to focus on. Making her feel better. Making her feel loved because that’s what she needs the most.”

----

Tags: @jennydehavilland @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @wonwoosthetic @misskittydenoire @casangel1986 @pedritosdarling

#Negan #Joel Miller #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Pedro Pascal #The Walking Dead #The Last of Us #negan x reader #joel miller x reader #negan fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #negan x you #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #twd fanfiction

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aquaburst3 · 10 months

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Last night I read someone's article analyzing Honest Fellow and his place in society. While I don't personally agree with most of OP's points as per usual, like the fact that I think Jamil is more on par with Ruggie rather than being "rich" and on par with characters like Riddle and Vil when it comes to wealth, one interesting one they mentioned is how all of the Halloween one shot villains so far served as one of the character's dark reflections. I honestly see that.

Rollo=Idia Both lost their brothers in tragic accidents. While Idia was able to deal with his anger and grief in a healthy way, Rollo was never able to accept or cope with his loss. He directed his anger towards himself for not being able to save his brother outwards, doing the flower thing in order to get rid of the one thing that stole his brother way in his eyes—magic. (Strictly talking about the canon versions here. My own take on the character is slightly different, even if they share the same backstory. Plus, I'm handling Ortho FAR differently in mine to the point he will seem like a different character. Rollo doesn't reflect Idia very much in mine as a result.)

Honest Fellow=Ruggie Both come from impoverished backgrounds and have been screwed over by society to varying degrees, clinging to wealthy benefactors. Both also have UMs that control people in different ways. While Ruggie is fully willing to swindle, steal from and take advantage of oblivious rich people, he has his limits about how far he'll go and has compassion for others, even those from rich backgrounds. Honest Fellow wallowed his resentment, and took out his anger for his circumstances by willingly taking part in a plot that would turn people, especially magic users and from privileged backgrounds, into puppets. This is likely due to thanks to Ruggie being able to go to NRC and Leona helping Ruggie grow past his station while Honest Fellow was not, it's still no excuse or make Honest Fellow's actions any less fucked up. Plus, Leona also cares about Ruggie and treats him with respect whereas Honest Fellow's boss treats him like trash. (Granted, I don't think this arc was well written. Hell, I have plenty of issues about how Honest Fellow was handled as a character, especially about him not paralleling his canon counterpart. Neither here nor there rn.)

I did something similar in my stories as well, albeit unintentionally somewhat. One example is for Addie (Yuu)...even if she's only a rival rather than outright villain like the above examples. There's also the final boss for her as well. But considering the first one won't show up until the next arc of my fic and the last one I want to keep under wraps, I will leave it at that for another post at a later point. However, the more I think about it, Destan, my "twisted" Narissa OC that shows up in the middle of my Savanaclaw rewrite fic who harassed my "Yuu", is Vil's dark foil.

Undercut thanks to spoilers to the next arc of my fic

Both are actors and Hollywood (or the fantasy version of that) nepo babies. Both feel like they are mistreated by the entertainment industry, Vil with being typecast as a villain and Destan for not being casted in hardly anything. Both have powerful UMs that can be deadly in the wrong hands, being connected to the Evil Queen in different ways. (Vil with his ability to curse anything or anyone he touches, and Destan's making him basically a Heartrender, aka being able to control another person's heart...literally.) What separates them is that Vil is kind, considerate and genuinely cares about others, wanting to help people become their best selves, while Destan sees others as pawns to get to help him become famous.

Yes, Vil is a polarizing and super flawed character. He's domineering, overly critical, controlling, harsh, impulsive, temperamental among a whole other laundry list of things. Also, yes. He did try to poison Neige. Double yes, the way that he treats Epel isn't it. However, at the end of the day, he wants to help out those in his dorm become their best selves. He gives others personalized body care. He helped others with their makeup in the first Halloween Event. In Epel's SSR dorm uniform story, when Vil needed help tinkering with magiwheel for one of his plays, he asks Epel, since he knows about his skills in that area and that it's something he enjoys. He put in a lot of hard work into his routine and wanted to win against Neige in legitimate means. He only resorted to the poison shit after he was disheartened by others loving Neige's shitty performance that he put no effort into. (Handling that differently in mine, but strictly talking about the canon here.) He's also the only person who overblotted so far who actually apologized to Yuu and tried to make it up to them.

If you include my writing as well, he genuinely cares about Addie's wellbeing and sees her as a friend by the end of his arc. He will even help her with something at one point during Pomefiore thanks to empathizing with her circumstances. He also apologizes for when he says something horrible to her and tries to make it up to her.

You can make the argument that he is using her and Epel to aid his VDC team, however, he never coerced them to do anything. He was up front about his conditions, both with her and Epel. They both have free choice. They are able to say no and back out at any time. Hell, she even agrees to help take down Neige at one point. While he could've been clearer with Epel about what everything entailed, that's more do to his own misunderstanding than anything on Vil's part.

Destan is the complete opposite, being like if Vil completely gave into his ire from the get-go and did anything to get the roles he wanted. He doesn't go out the way to help others around him. He only sees everyone as pawns, including his "friends". Rather than earning his goals and trying to accomplish them through honest means like Vil, he's taking the lazy and worst way out. Destan's whole plan is forcing Addie to be his girlfriend in order to be spotted with her and be thrusted into the spotlight like that. He will not take no for an answer, and will do some nasty shit to make her comply. How she gets out of that situation, only time will tell.

Destan also represents her ex that cheated on her. Both he and her ex boyfriend saw Addie as a sex object and a tool to put themselves in the spotlight. His UM being a nod to her ex being a "heartbreaker" is not subtle.

I admit, making these one shot villains dark foils to the NRC boys is genuinely clever writing and is one aspect that makes those events seem more engaging compared to most of the other ones. The fact that these guys are able even have darker foils goes to show you that most of the NRC boys are more like the Dregs from Six of Crows and more morally grey. It also proves that most of these guys have potential to be so well rounded they seem like real life people than characters based on cartoon villains if they just had more consequences for their actions and were handled differently in general. (Minus Ortho and Grim, who I think are poorly written characters. Ortho has no personality outside of being the "child character". Grim is poorly constructed and makes zero sense. King from The Owl House is what I imagine Grim would be like in the hands of a far more competent writer. But I'll save that for another post.)

I would say "great minds think alike". But since I think Yana is a highly overrated and terrible writer, I think it's a "even a broken clock is right twice a day" situation. xD I'm genuinely curious how the game will handle these "dark reflection" foils in future Halloween events and which characters Yana will pick out to be those. (I, for one, can see a twst version of Ernesto being Azul's thanks to him basically being Azul without any of the latter's positive traits or conscience. Same goes for a twst version of Jack Skellington for Kalim. Have no idea about who Jamil's dark foil could potentially be, though.)

#aqua rambles #twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #aqua writes #rollo flamm #honest fellow #ruggie bucchi #idia shroud

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themissinghand · 1 year

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Who Made Me a Princess: Beware of the Prince!

Summary: In which the Crown Prince of the Obelian Empire is not a simple child.

Note: Self-indulgent OC-insert because why not. Also, evil, why hot?

"Blessing upon the Crown Prince and the Obelian Empire."

"Stand."

Anastacius did as he was told and stared at the figure sitting on a chair in a lazy manner, near the window.

Why he was called here was certainly mysterious and brooding.

There shouldn't be anyone who knew of his stay at the Alpheus Dukedom, nor would even know his alias. He rarely introduced himself, or even show himself in public, for he did not want to get the attention of his troublesome brother.

Yet here he was, meeting the Crown Prince in the most famous commercial building in Obelian Empire.

According to rumors, the royal family did have a stake in this prospering business, only as an investor. But Anastacius knew there was more to it.

If he would have the opportunity, Anastacius would ask, but it seemed like such a chance was unlikely.

"Take a seat, Viscount Patterson." The young Prince gestured for him to sit across from him.

Athanasios de Alger Obelia.

Or Athos, as the little prince prefers.

His long blonde hair tied neatly into a short ponytail. His blue jeweled eyes proved his status. His tall figure and looks already eluded the aura of someone worthy of the position of the successor.

The Prince gained popularity for his intelligence, wisdom, and charm.

Anastacius wants to laugh.

The boy in front of him could be mistaken as one of his siblings.

And how wonderful would that be?

"Your highness," Anastacius smiles.

"How may I help you?"

So Anastacius doesn't hold back and gets straight to the point. Staying around this boy gave him ominous feelings, and the brief yet sharp glance from him only confirmed his suspicions.

He knows something.

The boy doesn't spare him a glance, rather continued to look outside the window at the bustling city, before speaking.

"If you were to become the emperor again, what would you do?"

Anastacius felt a chill down his spine.

"Pardon me? Your highness, I don't quite understand your question." It was a subconscious and reflective response.

The boy did not move at all. His eyes still concentrated on the flowing customers in and out of the building.

"If you were to become the emperor again, what would you do?"

He repeated the question again with the same tone.

Anastacius observed him, and a brief silence enveloped them.

"Viscount Patterson." His alias sounds like a mockery.

"Why aren't you answering the question?" The tea was cold.

"I apologize my highness. I'm just surprised at your question." The boy finally turned back, their eyes met. The Prince put down his teacup with an intentional clink!

"If you were to become the emperor again, what would you do?"

Anastacius felt the air shift, and a burst of mana seem to swirl past him.

Once again, he acted instinctively. His own mana shot forward to surround the two.

The Prince remained calm and collected as he awaited his answer. His eyes were passive, lazy even as he clasped his hands together on the table.

Amazing.

It was the first (and perhaps lasting) impression Anastacius had on the Crown Prince.

The Prince had plentiful mana at his disposal. Was it because he was born from Claude and his first Empress?

The first Empress of the empire, an archmage and the leader of the Black Tower after the original master of the Black Tower disappeared.

Known for her bright personality, leadership, and strength, she led the country with Claude to it's bright future.

Unfortunately, she passed in the midst of a war against their enemy kingdom in the south, but her death brought victory for the empire.

As such, her legacy remains, and her memory never lost, even after Claude remarried, and had a princess born.

So this was the result?

A so called perfect Prince, who helped Claude with diplomatic relations, who protected his mother's honor, and who saved the young princess of the second Empress from Claude's wraith.

A Prince loved by the people, and respected by nobles.

Anastacius fought off the urge to swallow him whole, to brainwash him for his own use, to take over his body. Aeternitas was swirling with excitement within him.

"Your highness truly is the star of this kingdom."

"Answer the question, Uncle."

"How did you know?"

The Prince smiles, bright, blinding, and innocent.

Like a child finally getting his candy from his parents.

Perhaps this was the other side of the Prince.

Calculating and mysterious.

"How would I not know my dearest Uncle, and of course, one of my dear ancestors, one of the former Emperor in Obelian history?"

A spoon fell from the table, but there was no sound of its fall.

Their world was tilted sideways.

Indeed, they were floating in the air.

Ha.

Despite the circumstances, the Prince had the audacity to look calm, collected and in control.

Every word he says is worth something.

The Crown Prince does not say anything more than he needs to.

Compared to Princess Athanasia, he really is becoming a troublesome threat.

Kill him.

Could he though?

"You haven't answered my question yet, Uncle."

Once again, Anastacius met those chilling and cunning eyes worthy of the royal family.

"If you were to become the emperor again, what would you do?"

He swallows, thinking of what to say, but Aeternitas beats him to it.

"Well, aren't you clever?"

Shut up.

He was shaking out of control.

"Why don't you join me? I'll lend you power beyond your imagination."

Dark magic swirled around the two of them, and the Prince's expression finally changed.

To one of annoyance.

"Can you really afford to expose yourself here?" His reaction and tone was flat. Almost disappointed.

With a raise of his hand, gold spilled out of his finger tips. Then, slamming his hand onto his arm rest, Anastacius regained control.

They both landed on the solid floor again with minimal sound.

His hand no longer shaking.

All Anastacius heard in his mind was amused laughter, and a regretful sigh.

That body would've been perfect to possess, but alas, Lucas will notice.

"Then I will take my leave, Uncle."

The Crown Prince leaves, and like a trained professional, he leaves without making any sound.

All Anastacius could remember was those eyes of warning, and a provoking smirk, matching that of the first Empress.

Ha.

For whatever reason the Prince wanted to exposure himself for, this was nonetheless a warning. Therefore, this was a dangerous game.

The moment Lucas know of his existence is when he'll lose. But the moment he corners the Prince and takes over him, is when he'll win.

He sits down on the chair that the Prince was siting on and looks out the window.

"They do say blood is thicker than water."

#wmmap lucas #wmmap novel #wmmap diana #wmmap fanfic #who made me a princess #athanasia de alger obelia #claude de alger obelia #i suddenly became a princess #anastacius de alger obelia #wmmap anastacius #Aeternitas de Alger Obelia #manhwa #spoilers #ocs #prince

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necros-writing-stuff · 11 months

Text

Such Sweet Ignorance: Collabo'ween Day 16

GN!Reader/Blaine Wiley (Male Sugar Daddy Energy Vampire OC).

Warnings: There's a sense of dread through this one; Financial control; Heavy anxiety for reader; Emotional manipulation; Fear of dying; Reader is suffering from something similar to chronic fatigue.

Word Count: 2739.

Notes: This one is far more horror than smut with a creepy element to it. There's like three lines of smut lol. It's in first person and made to be like a journal entry.

With the power of hindsight, it was blatantly obvious how many red flags this man has. But I was broke and desperate, so I went along with what he wanted anyway.

Hello to anyone who might be reading this, by the way. I'd appreciate it if you're some scholar from a couple hundred years into the future, peeking into the past via the journal of some random person. If you're someone closer to me then this will be quite awkward and I'm gonna have to ask you to stop here. I don't think I can look people in the eye after admitting the things I'll admit here. Though after everything I've learned, someone I know now could be reading this hundreds of years in the future.

But I have to get it all off of my chest. I have to do it this way because if I pay for a therapist then he'll find out and make me stop seeing them even if the meetings are only over video calls. This is the first time I’ve been away from him for more than a couple of hours in many months.

It started last year, sometime around mid July. I was at the local library, using their free wifi when he'd sat down across from me. He'd only smiled at me then before reading his own book while I typed something up on my laptop.

We had a few more meetings like that, and I'd grown used to him being there. I'd seek him out when I'd enter the building and feel giddy when we'd make eye-contact. He was so handsome, dressed modestly but you could tell he had money just based on the make and materials of his clothes. Auburn hair. Blue eyes. Well built but not so cut that you'd think him vain. And he was looking at me.

He broke the silence first, asking me what I was writing. I wanted to lie, badly, because it was a romance novel that I was thinking of self-publishing just to make some cash on the side. Plenty of people will buy terrible romance novels and defend them with their lives if they have tropes they love and hot enough male protagonists.

For a reason I still can't explain, I told him the truth. A pattern that would continue, as you'll see.

I was waiting for his nose to scrunch up in disgust, my shoulders tensed so bad that I could feel the knots forming in the muscles already. Instead he smiled and asked if he could read some.

Yet again, I let him move around the table and sit beside me. I let him read what I wrote. And holy fuck was it a surprise when he started giving input on how to make it better than it was.

"My mother was a publisher, I used to do my homework at the kitchen table when she'd review all the things she'd get." Then there it was, the nose scrunch. "I… I kinda ended up loving some of those novels because of it."

Handsome, well-off, a lover of romance novels, a seemingly good relationship with his mother. People say hook-line-and-sinker a lot. This was an anchor tied to my ankle as he kicked me off the boat into Mariana's Trench. The books he'd been reading across from me were all horror, but the ones he'd kept in his bag to read at home? Soft, smutty romance.

I never asked why he always ended up at the library at the exact same time as myself. Knowing him as I do, I'm sure he'd have come up with an excuse that I couldn't refute, one I'd accept without blinking an eye. But I'm still disappointed that I never asked once.

Blaine Wiley is his name. An art appraiser - older than me but so kind, supportive and patient that it didn't matter in the slightest.

We became fast friends, especially with how open I felt I could be with him and how open I thought he was being with me. Everything I told him, he came back with something personal of his own. Never in that "I'm one-upping you," way, but in a "I see you, I know what it feels like too," way.

I had family problems? So did he! His sister was always at his throat. It's why he valued my friendship so much, he'd said. The notion of found family was one he identified with heavily after his mother had passed.

Naturally, we ended up dating. That restaurant was so expensive. I wanted to hide behind Blaine the entire time we were there. Expensive suits and bespoke dresses were everywhere while I was in an outfit I'd thrown together from a charity shop. Yeah, the outfit was expensive at one point. But not anymore. I was a drowned rat amongst groomed cats.

Somehow Blaine had made me forget about all of those worries. We'd hardly been able to stop talking long enough to eat (and the food was delicious). Even surrounded by absolute opulence, he remained all that my attention could focus on.

I couldn't not follow him home after such a lovely date. I couldn't not let him lay me down on his bed, strip my clothes from me and go down on me like that meal we'd shared was but an appetiser. He was so thorough and selfless.

My nerves returned once we'd finished - waiting and waiting for the other shoe to drop, to be kicked out of his bed now he'd gotten what he'd wanted. Instead, I was trapped in one of my very own novels. Blaine asked me to stay the night, his arms holding me close as we slept. He made me breakfast. He drove me home and kissed me goodbye with a promise to see me again.

More dates followed, as well as many nighttime trists (and some in his car in dark car parks). He paid for everything. Insisted on it. He didn't have to worry about his bank account but I did, so why should I pay? In fact, why don't I let him give me money just because?

Another moment where I should have ran. The writing was right there on the wall and I chose to walk past it like it was nothing but a graffitied cock. I feel so stupid - so full of shame - and I should be shouldn't I? I should feel disappointed in myself. I've been a fucking idiot and now it's far too late.

Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself and far too emotional. I’ll just keep going.

As you can guess, I took the money. I tried to turn it down, but he was so hell-bent on "taking care of me," that I folded quickly. No one has ever taken care of me. I barely take care of me. It was just so nice to not have to worry about having hot water or food in the kitchen.

Three months is how long it took him to convince me to move in. The gifts and money got more and more expensive until he proposed it. His logic seemed sound; I was basically there every night, he was paying my rent and for my lifestyle anyway. I could leave any time I'd like if things didn't work out. He just wanted me to be safe and comfortable while I wrote. Once my book was out he was sure I'd have a good stream of revenue - hell, he could set me up with a publisher if I really wanted.

From a one bedroom flat with a teeny tiny kitchen and no bath, just a standing shower, to his two-floored suite at the top of an apartment complex. His bath is a fucking hot-tub. It bubbles. You can see the entire city from his windows. He has his own personal bar in the kitchen and 4 ovens.

My lifestyle was completely flipped. Rich clothes, days spent writing with an incredible view, relaxing baths while sipping drinks Blaine mixed for me at the bar, cooking with fresh ingredients from high-end boutiques.

Blaine mostly worked from home, but when he’d leave he’d return from work and see what I'd done before sharing his own day. Often he'd come home with a necklace, a ring, new shoes or clothes for me. Always, I was on his mind. Always, I was his to pamper and love.

Somehow, even with how unbelievably relaxing my life had become, I'd end each day more exhausted than the last. I'd wake up with headaches that doctors couldn't explain. I'd just keep chugging vitamins and hope that it would stop eventually.

Things started cracking when I wanted to go to a friend's party. Not even a close friend, just a fellow writer who'd stayed friendly with me over the years. A male writer. Blaine had tried to hide his true reason for keeping me home behind having a date planned. Deep down I knew it was jealousy. Deep down, I knew I should have ended things there or at least insisted that he consider why he felt so insecure about it.

I stayed home. I said my apologies to my friend and sent a gift through the mail. Blaine took me to an art opening the night of the party and introduced me to all of his friends instead.

It was hell. Anxiety had been a companion for most of my life, holding my hand anytime my thoughts would run away or even when I would simply step outside. It came back tenfold at the art exhibition. I felt like a piece of meat (though not due to Blaine's actions, surprisingly). His friends would peer over me with this knowing look before smiling or sipping their drinks. It only made me cling further to him. The one source of familiarity and comfort.

A breakdown followed when we got home. I was so tired and scared - I couldn't explain either - but Blaine simply held me and told me that the reasons why didn't matter right now. We'd work it out together, we'd get better together, but right then I should just let it all out. I could talk when I wanted to, but not feel forced to do so before I was ready.

Perfect. Everything he did and said was perfect, and I fell asleep wrapped up in his arms again that night.

I'd describe myself as agoraphobic these days. That previous anxiety I'd harboured had only grown in Blaine's custody. It was purposeful how he kept me inside without him, how he only took me out when it was a big thing with people whose lifestyles I couldn't connect to. Who I felt ashamed to open up around just in case they judged me. Events that made me have further breakdowns when we’d get home or even when I’d sit down in his car at the end of the night.

If his friends detested me, would Blaine leave? My only source of comfort? I couldn't let that happen.

I don't leave the house anymore. I tried a few times after all of those parties to smile my way through meetings Blaine took me to, but it just drained me further until I collapsed. Literally collapsed. More tests were done on me at the hospital, but still they couldn't find anything wrong.

Blaine left for a week on a trip to Oslo. Since he's left I've been getting my energy back bit by bit every day. I've needed it after what I found him doing a few nights before he left.

Usually, I sleep through the night like a rock. The fire alarm going off wouldn't wake my eyes open. Something did wake me up last week. I don't know what or why, but when my eyes fluttered open I thought I was trapped in a nightmare.

Blaine's hand was pressed against my chest, right over my heart. And it was glowing. I think there were runes shining on the back of his hand, the red light bathing our bedroom in what looked like a sea of blood. Seconds ticked by and I felt my lids lowering again as he peppered kisses on my neck. I was just so, so tired. Blaine made me so, so tired. Yet, I could barely breathe.

And alright, anyone reading might be thinking that it really was a dream. I did, at first, like I said. So I left my phone recording when I went to sleep the next night, the screen laying down so Blaine wouldn't know. He might check it when I sleep (he knows the password, he could do it anytime - he knows all of my passwords for everything). So I thought up a lie to explain it away. The screen was malfunctioning and clicking on things without any input. Maybe he could get me a new one or get it repaired. Spending money on me always makes him happy.

A phone only has so much storage, it'll only record for so long even when the settings are put on low. It recorded long enough for me to see that red light bathing the room again when I checked. Right at the end, the last few minutes. Whispers were also recorded. Blaine's whispers, soothing me, thanking me for being such a font of creativity and life.

Have you ever heard of energy vampires? They're much less known in the western world than the classic blood-sucking vampires. But there's legends of beings that take your life from you to feed their own all around the world. I think Blaine is that. I think he trapped me to feed from me and I don't know how to get away.

Plenty of times the thought to look through his office has crossed my mind. Plenty of times I've wondered why I've never met his sister or seen photos of his mother, why I don't know how old he actually is even though I know his birthday. And in retrospect, I realise that many of his friends I met at the art exhibition had nervous looking partners of their own. They had their own little me's.

I never questioned him. I never thought I had a reason to. Without him though, it's like that leash around my neck has been loosened and I can think more for myself again. Not fully. I still can't step outside without having a panic attack. I can barely call for a takeaway. Apps are my best friend right now. Who knows how many creatures like Blaine are out there, waiting to prey on the innocent?

At least I had the initiative to look through his desk finally. It's such a classic thing, a false bottom full of letters. It feels fake even though I found it. Even though I read each letter and carefully put them back. Even though they confirmed everything I thought.

They were all exchanges with people like him. Creatures who hunt for people full of drive to do something - like my writing, someone's dancing, singing, painting. Hell, one had a taste for mechanics who worked on custom cars. And how they'd drain them dry of everything. Many of their victims died. Some of them went through victims like a smoker with cigarettes.

Blaine was one of them. He'd only keep them for a month or two before they'd pass away in hospitals from mysterious diseases that couldn't be identified. Moreover, he's been doing it for over two hundred years. Blaine wasn’t even his original name, he’d gone by dozens of names over the years. The last letter was from 1942. I guess he switched to using telephones, then the internet when it got popular. Who knows how many other victims have been held in his claws before he found me.

I don't know why I'm different. I don't know why he's let me live so long. I just know that I have to get away before he can truly take everything.

And I'm trying. Believe me, I'm trying so hard. He'll be back tomorrow. I just need to get up and leave, to take all of my clothes and jewellery and pawn them off so I can get away. I don’t even care about finishing my book at this point - even though it’s so close to done.

I'm going to do it. I promise I’ll get away. I'll write again when I'm safe.

#collaboween #spill my guts #necro's fics #blaine wiley #gn reader #cw financial abuse #cw emotional abuse #cw sugar daddies

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ficklecat · 1 year

Text

OC Intro: Violet Roberta Hughes

(dialogue responses to the OC interview prompt)

1. Please state your full name and occupation.

“Violet Roberta Hughes. I’m a biology student in undergrad, but I’m about to graduate soon!”

2. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

“Ummmm…let’s see. Well I’m a Scorpio for starters so feel free to make your assumptions on that! I love creepy stuff, big fan of horror and all things spooky. My brain is Halloweentown 365. What else…I love to cook and bake, I’m always trying out new recipes with Manny and Finn as my Guinea pigs. I like video games but I’m no good at them, I love movies, and I’m a closeted nerd. There’s plenty more but I never know what to say with questions like this!”

3. How would you describe your childhood?

“I mean…not terrible. Not the greatest though. My parents hate each other and before they divorced they fought a lot. My dad’s a classic abusive drunk, and my mom is super critical. I think it made her bitter though, she didn’t always used to be. Or maybe she did, I don’t know. My dad always tried to have fun with me and mom was the hardass. It’s easy to see now they were trying to play me against each other. They probably still do, whatever. After they divorced things got a little easier but wasn’t the same. But the fights and stuff stopped, no booze in the house anymore, that kind of thing.”

4. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

“When I was suuuper little I wanted to be what I called a ‘grave guard,’ which I guess was like a security guard for cemeteries? I have no clue where I got that idea, I don’t even think that’s a real thing!”

5. Do you have any role models? Tell us a little bit about them.

“This is gonna sound so shitty of me but I kinda don’t. Most people I know are just like…fully faking it till they make it, and that’s fine, everyone is, but I don’t want to put anyone on a pedestal for faking it slightly better than everyone else.”

6. Are you introverted or extroverted? Why?

“I’m both I think. I like my ‘me time’ but I also love being with my people, or people in general. I think it’s a shame some people ‘hate’ being around others. It’s so lonely sounding. I get it for some but still, I don’t think I’ve ever been that way.”

7. How would you describe yourself in three words?

“Ugh this is hard. I’m so much more than three words!” (laughs) “Hm. Ok. Stubborn probably. Caring, but—more like nurturing I think. And…I don’t know. So many words come to mind! Let’s say thoughtful. Stubborn, nurturing, and thoughtful.”

8. What do you like to do for fun?

“Definitely love to bake or make stuff in general. I like crafts even if I’m not good at them, and I can’t be trusted to go into a Michael’s alone.” (laughs) “But I really like doing movie nights with Finn and Manny. I always pick a scary one usually and Finn gets all flustered and spooked, it’s so cute. We watched Hereditary recently and Manny and I were just obsessing over Toni Collette because how can you not, and meanwhile Finn was literally sitting there watching from between his fingers. So adorable. He puts up with a lot from us.”

9. What's your greatest achievement? Why do you consider this your greatest achievement?

This has been answered in an ask, check the tag to see!

10. What's your biggest goal? How do you hope to achieve this?

“My biggest goal used to be to get married to a good man, but that was really more of my mom’s goal for me. Now, I think it’s just to find myself fully, to fully realise who I am. I know that’s cliche, but I’ve done so much self-discovery just in the past year and it feels so good, to learn and know yourself better each day. It’s like…playing in your childhood bedroom again, you’re finding all your favourite toys and remembering their stories. I don’t know. It’s like that. And I don’t even know how I’m achieving it. I think when I finally let myself just…be who I am, and found people to support that, it was easy. It came naturally. I’m super grateful.”

11. What does your dream room/house look like? Would you mind showing some inspiration pictures?

“I’d totally live in a haunted mansion or some shit but Finn would never sleep again, and he’s already an insomniac, so I think I’ll have to pass.” (laughs)

12. How would you describe your style?

“I wanna say subdued goth. I wear mostly black with pops of colour, like pink and red and blue and stuff, and I love to accessorise. In high school I was definitely more into it but doing two hours of makeup and dress in the morning is not it anymore.”

13. What's your favorite song?

“Ugh! I can’t pick, honestly. I listen to music all the time. I guess right now I’ve got Ghosting by Mother Mother on repeat a lot, so that one.”

14. Where are you happiest?

“Wherever Finn and Manny are, truthfully. I’ve never been so happy as when I am with them. They just bring out the best in me and each other. I love being around them.”

15. Who is the most important person in your life? Why?

“Besides my partners, I need to say…probably me. I know that sounds selfish but I’m really trying to focus on what it feels like to show up for myself and I think part of that is learning that at the end of the day, you’ve only got you. Before anyone. Might as well treat her right.”

16. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?

“You know I always go back and forth on this. I did with my ex, then I didn’t when he broke my heart, then I did again, then I didn’t. Now…I don’t know. Maybe. If I do, it’s because of Finn and Manny. But if I don’t it’s only because I believe the heart wants different things at different times, and I think that gives it space to grow. I know, that’s so cheesy, but that’s how I can put it in words.”

17. Have you ever been in love?

“For sure. I’ve thought I’ve been in love way more often though. Now I know what it really feels like, I think.”

18. Have you ever been kissed?

“I was kissed just before I came in here!” (giggles)

19. Describe an average day in your life.

“Warning, it’s boring! Basically I just go to class and hang out with the polycule after. I prefer to have all my classes done by the afternoon which means I force myself to attend 8AM’s, but it’s worth it. I can get home or go to Finn’s and take care of things, do chores or homework or whatever, and just have a nice afternoon to myself. I also try to have lunch with my friend Ash at least once a week, but she works a lot so it’s hard to be consistent.”

20. Describe your nighttime routine.

“It depends on where I’m sleeping honestly. If it’s by myself at my place I’ll usually just watch a show in the background and scroll on my phone or do homework and stuff until I’m tired. Then I’ll remove my makeup and go to bed. I try not to use my phone in bed much but that doesn’t always work. That’s during the week, but most weekends we stay at Finn’s place and if I’m there it’s usually hanging out after dinner, maybe—well, usually—we’ll have sex and then I’ll take a shower because he has one of those really great rainfall shower heads that I love. After that I’ll drink some tea with Finn or cuddle with Manny upstairs until we all fall asleep.”

21. (Make up a question) Tell us a “low-stakes” unpopular opinion you have.

“I LIKE candy corn!! Yeah it’s weird and overly sweet but it’s candy! Of course it is! It’s pure sugar! And YES the different colours totally taste different I will die on this hill!” (laughs) “Manny bought me a bumper sticker for my car that says ‘end the stigma’ and it’s got candy corn all over it I love it! Candy corn is good, it deserves respect. It’s the herald of spooky season, that’s an honour itself!”

#Violet #OCs #oc ask game #oc prompt #oc thursdays #axel’s brainpals

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perfectpaperbluebirds · 1 year

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Sicktember #5

Prompt: Preventative Measures (Not Taken)

Fandom/OCs: Letterkenny (Wayne and Katy)

Words: 980

Sicknario inspo: Flu season sicknario A from this post.

Author’s comments/background: If you’ve never seen Letterkenny, I’d suggest checking out my other fics for the fandom where I explain the premise. I’ll forego that here since by now if you’re reading this, I assume you get the gist. Or just imagine hot farmers for the characters. That works too.

On another note, I wrote this in about an hour in one sitting, which is by far the fastest I’ve ever finished anything for this fandom, which as you might imagine is a pretty tricky on to write for, so that was a nice surprise.

~~~***~~~

(Scene opens on WAYNE standing in front of the House in the snow with crossed arms, dressed for the outdoors in winter.)

WAYNE: Had to have a talk with Katy the other daaaaay…

(Scene changes to earlier in the month. KATY, dressed for skiing, comes into the Shop where WAYNE is working on a snowmobile.)

WAYNE: Katy, how are ya now?

KATY: Not so bad and you?

WAYNE: Not so bad. How was skiing with Bonnie McMurray?

KATY: Good. You know, Bonnie is going to get her flu shot tomorrow. They're free at the clinic.

WAYNE: That so?

KATY: Mhm, and I think I might go with her.

WAYNE: You ever had one of those flu shots before?

KATY: Well no.

WAYNE: Then why would you wanna do a thing like that? Seems to me I got enough holes in my body. I don't need a needle making another one.

KATY: Well I don't need to be getting the flu. Bonnie said McMurray her dad got it last year and he couldn't leave the couch for four or more days.

WAYNE: What's that got to do with you?

KATY: So I can't be lying on the couch for four or more days! I've got places to be and people to see.

WAYNE: Lying on the couch for four or more days sounds like a vacation, and a vacation sure as hell sounds better than having a needle stuck in your arm.

KATY: Sounds to me like you're afraid of needles.

WAYNE: Maybe so. But I've never gotten the flu shot before, and I've never been laid out sick on the couch for four or more days. So I reckon I'll take my chances with the flu this year, same as always.

KATY: Well I'm getting my shot with Bonnie McMurray tomorrow. And you might do yourself a favor and think about taking some preventative measures, too. I'd hate to see what you're like laid out with the flu.

WAYNE: Suit yourself. But I haven't prevented any measures my whole life and I'm not starting now.

(KATY rolls her eyes as she exits. WAYNE returns to his work.)

(Scene changes to a few days later. In the Kitchen, KATY is unloading groceries and putting them away, dressed only in a crop top and shorts. WAYNE, DAN, AND DARRYL enter, red from the cold and blowing on their hands.)

WAYNE: Jesus, Katy, it's winter. Put some f*ckin clothes on.

KATY: Not my forte.

WAYNE: Any coffee still hot?

KATY: No. You should try drinking orange juice instead of coffee once in a while, though. (She pours herself a glass of juice as she speaks.)

WAYNE: Feels like hell froze over out there right now and I want something hot, not a damn glass of juice. (He brushes past her to start a pot of coffee.)

DAN: I didn't knows youse was such a fan of orange juices, Miss Katy.

KATY: Orange juice has Vitamin C, and Vitamin C keeps you from getting sick. It's flu season, you can’t be too careful.

WAYNE: Now Katy, why are you so scared to get sick? It never bothered you any other year, and we've survived plenty of flu seasons so far.

KATY: I told you, I've got places to be and people to see. I can't afford to be sick.

DAN: Sounds likes youse has important things to sees to, Miss Katy. Did youse gets your free flu shots ats the clinics, this year?

KATY: As a matter of fact, I did, Squirrely Dan.

DARRYL: You know I heard everyone who gets the flu shot for the first time always gets the flu that year.

WAYNE: There ya go, see? I've never had a flu shot and I've never had the flu. Case closed.

KATY: Well I'm not taking the chance of being laid out on the couch for four or more days.

DAN: You're real concerned about your healths, Miss Katy. That's what I appreciates about you.

KATY: That's what you appreciate about me?

WAYNE: Take off about 20% there, Squirrely Dan.

KATY: And you all better wash your hands twice every time you come into this house until spring. I won't be getting sick even if any of you do.

WAYNE: Maybe if you put some f*ckin clothes on you wouldn't have to worry about getting sick.

KATY: I'll take my preventative measures and you take yours, big brother. (She exits.)

DARRYL: If we gotta wash our hands twice, does that mean we gotta wash our gloves too?

WAYNE: Shut the f*ck up, Darry.

(Scene changes to a few days later. KATY is lying under a blanket on the couch in the Living Room looking sick and sad. WAYNE enters carrying a streaming mug which he hands to KATY. She takes it, sitting up to drink. She is dressed in thick winter clothes.)

WAYNE: Anything else you need?

KATY: No. You can leave.

WAYNE: Least you finally put some f*ckin clothes on.

KATY: (Angry now, points offscreen) Go.

WAYNE: Aww, c’mon, Katy, don’t be mad. Maybe you’ll only be laid up on the couch for two or more days. And it’s blizzarding out there, so you can’t be going places and seeing people anyway.

KATY: (Still pointing) GO!

WAYNE: Alright, alright, I’ll go. Holler if you need anything else. I’ll be in the kitchen fixing dinner. Might even drink a glass of orange juice. It’s flu season, you know. Can’t be too careful.

KATY: You’ll need to be careful, all right. Just you wait until I’m better.

WAYNE: (Walking away) See you in four or more days, then.

(Scene changes back to the first setting, with WAYNE outside in the snow)

WAYNE: Just goes to show you never know what’ll happen when you’re preventing measures for flu season.

#sicktember 2023 #skt 2023 #prompt 5 #let/terkenny

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insomniac-jay · 1 year

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A Different Life

As Vicia settles into her life as a wife, she reflects on her past and what the future holds.

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Vicia López (OC)

Tags: Western/cowboy romance AU, this is for the Crimsonhood shippers (my mutuals)

Vicia overlooked the vastness of the Wayne Ranch. It still amazed her that such a beautiful land was now hers, and could do whatever she pleased with it. Never before did she have such power before joining the Watchers. Before she was Crimson, and Vicia López-Todd, she was just an unruly child that constantly found herself in a prison cell.

Then came her enrollment into Madam Arkham's School for Unruly Girls. Vicia would never not be swayed that the Devil didn't build that school.

Before, her life was about fighting. She'd been beaten, slapped, kicked, and did the same to all those who hurt her. She taught herself to pickpocket and steal all for survival. Ever since that day she knew she'd never be able to return to her parents, all Vicia had was herself.

But now, here at the Wayne Ranch, there was no need for any of it. Servants always awaited her command, food plentiful, and water fresh. No longer would she have to fein for the same dresses that were now in her armoire. Same for perfumes, soaps, cosmetics. Of course she never wanted the wealth, just to be able to live comfortably.

The sights made a small part of Vicia wonder if she even wanted to continue being an outlaw when she had all she ever dreamed of sprawled out in front of her.

"Señora Todd?"

Vicia turned to see Lenora, her personal maid, in the doorway. "Dinner is ready. Master Todd will be waiting for you."

"Thank you, Lenora. Tell him I'll be there soon." Vicia took one last glance at the land that was now hers. As much as she swore she'd never be a wife, perhaps slowing down and playing into her role wouldn't be so bad. When she went down to the dining room, her eyes fell on Jason.

Jason, the man who'd married her in a whirlwind, patiently waited at the table. His clothes changed since coming home, lest he want to incur her wrath for dirtying the furniture. Something about him, despite being her enemy, set her blood aflame. When they shared their bed, never did her heart race because of a man before.

"Waiting for me?"

Jason wordlessly nodded. "Come sit."

When Vicia sat across from her husband, several thoughts raced through her mind. Maybe, just maybe, life like this could be what she needed.

@floof-ghostie @calciumcryptid @jasontoddssuper @honeysgalaxy

#jay's writings #jay's dc ocs #ship: crimsonhood

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notsopersonalcharlie · 2 years

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Hotshot

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Army!OC - Kinda angsty at some points

Warnings: Haley’s death, mentions of terrorism, sniper shots, military stuff, normal criminal minds stuff, LMK if there are more

Tags: @hotchnerxo @arsonhotchner @whump-town @eldrai @hotchgan

Note: feeding everyone’s sniper!hotch fantasies. I was recently watching the ep where there was a mass shooting and they profile the case and at the end Hotch shoots the unsub from the victim’s balcony and from that a new head canon grew. The mall thing is stolen from that one episode from season three . This is extremely long... I got into it... There will CERTAINLY be a part two which will be more about the past and maybe several several parts after that. Please let me know what you want to see out of future parts, I’m happy to make it happen. Also sue me I fucking love beard Hotch. Gif is not mine, enjoy it tho

Part 2: Irreplaceable

Aaron was staring. He was not usually one to be slack-jawed and shocked, so when Derek saw him staring he turned. Coming through the bullpen was a woman in uniform, Army from what he could tell, with a slicked-back ponytail and a stack of folders under one arm. She was walking right toward him.

“Are you just going to stare, soldier?”

“I- I never thought I would see you again, Willow. I’m just surprised.”

“Well, good thing we have paths to cross. Your office?” Aaron nodded, putting out an arm for her to go in ahead of him. He closed the door behind him, unable to stop staring.

“I really never did think I would see you again.”

“Me neither, Aaron. But this is more important than whatever happened between us. We have intel that there’s going to be an attack on a Northern Virginia mall and we need your help. Well, your team’s.” Aaron nodded and took a seat as the woman he thought he was going to marry two decades ago laid out several folders.

“We have a source that gave us information about a potential attack on a mall in Northern Virginia. This guy says that the threat is getting more real by the day and the goal is to hit as busy as possible.” Aaron frowned, looking at the first file she handed him. It took a moment to focus himself back to work mode when he could smell the perfume she used. It was the same as back when they were teenagers.

“I’ll get my team on it today,” he said, taking the file and heading toward the office door.

“Aaron...” He paused, waiting for her to finish the sentence. She didn’t. He opened the door and stepped onto the catwalk.

“BAU, table.” The group scrambled from where they had their heads pressed together in a circle. Even Rossi was down there, listening from just outside their little ring of gossip. Willow was walking out of his office when he turned.

“I have to get back to the base, this is my number and my boss’ number just in case I’m not at my desk.”

“Let me give you my cell number,” Aaron replied, pulling a pen and business card out of his pocket. Willow’s lips quirked into a smile, but she schooled her expression. She had plenty more to do on the case. He handed the card over to her and she slipped it into one of her pockets without looking. His team of agents each walked past pretending not to look at her.

“Thanks, Hotshot. I’ll let you know if we get any more information.” He wanted to roll his eyes over the name. He felt a little bit like he was back to 18 years old, buddying up with the only girl in their unit because he was still a wimpy little kid.

“Will do, W- Sergeant Cutler.” Aaron couldn’t help but watch her walk away. The last time he had seen her walk away in that uniform was the day he told her he was leaving service to finally finish what he joined the Army to start. The last time he saw her walk away from him at all was when he had told her he was going to law school, that there was no way they could get married. He could almost see the back of her floor-length navy dress as it disappeared from view.

“Aaron.” He blinked and turned to Rossi, who was standing about a foot away from him. Willow was gone.

“Sorry, yeah.”

“I’m guessing that’s her, the girl from the Army?” Hotch nodded.

“First time you’ve seen her since you left?”

“She was invited to the wedding. I found out from a buddy that she was in Afghanistan.”

“Aaron, as your friend, I’m going to tell you, she definitely wasn’t going to come to your wedding.” Aaron let out a little laugh and then took a deep breath, refocusing on the job at hand.

Willow let out a sigh when the elevator doors closed, her eyes falling shut so she could focus on just breathing. She hadn’t expected seeing him to be so hard, and it had been even harder to walk away from him again. She reached into her pocket and looked at it. Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner. She flipped it over and scrawled in Aaron’s surprisingly neat writing was his cell number with Hotshot written next to it. She laughed, shaking her head as she stepped out of the elevator.

-/-/-/-/-

“I got him,” Garcia called over the phone, “Address in your texts. Be safe my special agents.” They had been at it for two days, pretty much straight through Hotch had slept for a few minutes at most. Based on the information that they’d been given, an attack was imminent.

“Thank you, baby girl,” Morgan said. Hotch dialed Willow’s desk number and got an answer on the fourth ring.

“Sergeant Cutler.”

“It’s Hotch, we have a name and an address, so you-“

“Send it to me. We have a strike force waiting.” Hotch waved his arm at his team to sit back down while listing off the address and the name.

“I’ve got it. Thank you so much, Aaron.” She hung up and Hotch stuck his phone back in his pocket.

“We’re off the hook for the takedown. I don’t think I need to tell anyone, but this is not information that is to leave this room.” The team mumbled their agreements.

“Get out of here. Take tomorrow off,” Rossi commended. The team shuffled out, but when Aaron looked up Dave was still there. He began to gather up the paperwork to shred it.

“What can I do for you, Dave?”

“You should call her.”

“I didn’t get her number. She has mine.” Dave gave one of his famous little sighs, indicating his disapproval.

“Well, I’ll be inviting the team over for dinner so, if you have an interest and she calls, always have an extra seat.” He left the room and Aaron finished cleaning up, hoping his phone would ring.

It still hadn’t rung by the time he stepped outside to walk to his car, the bright sun shocking him. He forgot it was midday, all sense of time had been drained out of him. He pulled his phone out to check the day. Saturday, Jack should be up by now. He dialed the home number for the apartment.

“Hotchner residence,” Jess’ voice came.

“Hey Jess, I’m headed home.”

“Sounds good, see you soon. Here’s Jack.” Guilt was sitting like a weight in his chest now, guilt over leaving Willow, over not saving Haley. Abandoning the women he loved seemed to be a theme.

“Hi, Daddy! Did you solve the case?” All of the sorrow that had begun flooding him washed away. Jack was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to him. Guilt be damned.

“Yeah, buddy. We solved it. I’ll be home soon. What do you want to do first?”

“I don’t know! Can we watch cartoons?” Aaron smiled, climbing into the driver’s seat of his car, the call automatically connecting to the console.��

“Sure thing, bud. Sounds like a plan. I love you.”

“I love you too, daddy.” He hung up and started on the drive home, a country radio station playing quietly over the sound of the wind rushing by through the open windows. He was almost home when an unfamiliar number appeared on the screen, ringing and interrupting the music.

“Hotchner.”

“Hey Hotshot. We got him. Your profile was spot-on. He was a coward, he surrendered right away. Couldn’t face anyone bigger than him.”

“Glad we could help.” A long silence permeated and Aaron pulled into the parking lot, stopping in his spot and turning the car off.

“Aaron, I was ho-” Her words overlapped with his, “Willow, would you want to-” They both laughed.

“You go,” Willow said.

“Would you want to come to dinner with my team? We can grab coffee or drinks before.”

“Today?”

“Yes.” He felt like a giddy teenager again, like the first time he had pulled her in for a kiss in the parking lot after their first week of boot camp.

“You sure do work fast, Hotchner.” He was tempted to say out loud ‘you remembered’. That was what she had said the first time they had sex, after a drive-in movie in the back of his pickup.

“I don’t know, seventeen years seems like a bit longer than most people would say is fast.” She laughed, the sound overtaking Aaron in memories of the moments during training that they had snuck away, the evenings when the heat in Kuwait gave way to the cold evenings and they would sit with their backs to the truck and watch the sunset, the calls he would make long-distance when he was at school.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, Aaron. You know I could never say no to you.” Jess and Jack appeared by the door, coming toward him and Jess’ car parked beside him.

“Daddy!”

“I have to go, Willow. I’ll text you the details?”

“Sure thing.” He hung up and Willow looked down at her phone. Had the child’s voice in the background been a coincidence? He hadn’t been wearing a ring, but she had come across his wedding invitation when she got her stack of mail months after the date on it. She got up from where she was laying on the couch and began to shed the uniform. Something clinked in her pocket when she dropped the pants onto the bathroom floor and she sighed, reaching in and taking out her challenge coin, setting it on the counter next to her watch and jewelry. It was from their group in boot camp, the little sniper symbol smack in the middle.

When she got out of the shower, there were two texts from Aaron, one with an address and another saying it was a casual affair and she didn’t have to dress up. Either way, she stared at herself in the jeans and shirt for a few minutes too long, wondering if he would like it, if he still liked her. He hadn’t commented on her work fast memory. She rationalized though, why else would he invite her out?

Aaron stood outside the bar, fiddling with his phone. He had left Jack at JJ and Will’s for the night, given Will was going to be keeping an eye on Henry and Michael it wasn’t a stretch. He had gotten a few hours of sleep on the couch with Jack wrapped in his arms. They had built part of his Lego set in the afternoon and had McDonalds for lunch as a treat in addition to the fact that Aaron hadn't gone grocery shopping in days.

“Hey there, you come here often?” He turned and he guessed he probably looked like a lovesick puppy. Willow was wearing light wash jeans and a navy shirt that had a neckline reminiscent of the dress she had worn to that gala.

“No, but if I knew you were going to be here all the time I sure would be.”

“Witty as always, hotshot,” she laughed. Aaron wrapped her in a hug, longer than was probably appropriate, but she didn’t let go either.

“What have you been up to the last two decades?” she asked jokingly as they found seats towards the end of the bar. It was busy, but not loud. A group of what looked like college students were on the other end of the bar laughing. Aaron had taken a look around the room, not having to note anyone for looking suspicious. He noticed Willow doing the same.

“After I finished law school, I was a criminal prosecutor for a few years before joining the Seattle field office as an investigator. After that I moved to the BAU and I’ve been here since then. You?” The bartender took their orders and quickly left them with their drinks.

“Army to Intelligence. CID for a while and now Homeland Security. Never used your skills again?” Aaron smiled and took a sip of his drink, looking into the dark liquid.

“I still use them, taking out unsubs. Only a few times, but enough to know I still have them. It... I try to be the one who does it if we have to. I’ve done plenty before, a few more for the really bad guys doesn’t hurt as much.”

“It always hurts, Aaron. Sticks to you.” He nodded. He knew that, he just told the team that so they wouldn't try to take the burden from him.

“Your team, they seem like they’re... close to you.” Aaron snorted, a little uncivilized, but something he used to do as a kid.

“Yeah, we spend almost all of our time together. We’re practically family. I’m mom, according to the kids.” Willow smiled. She missed having family. Aaron had been her family for a long time, a little brother for a while and then much more.

“You were always a worrier.” A long silence held as they drank, neither of them looking at each other. There was so much to talk about that it was hard to know where to start.

“Do you have a kid?” It was the first thing she could think of to say. Aaron’s face lit up a little bit and he pulled out his phone.

“Yeah, Jack. He’s seven. He loves soccer.” He added the last detail because he knew she did too. There were a few things about Jack and Haley that brought back memories of Willow throughout his life. That was one of them. He often wondered what she would have been like with their kids. He pulled up a recent picture of Jack playing soccer with Rossi in the yard.

“He looks just like you did.”

“Yeah, that’s what Haley always says-said.”

“Haley? High school Haley?” Willow remembered the photo of Aaron and a pretty blond girl from high school. She felt a pang of jealousy, especially know he had gone back to her after the near decade they were together. Aaron scratched his head and downed the rest of his drink.

“Yeah. She... she was killed a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure that hasn’t been easy for you or Jack.”

“No... it hasn’t. We get by though. What about you? Partner, kids?” Willow shook her head, leaning back in the barstool. She thought about lying.

“I- Truth be told, Aaron, I never found anyone else like you.” Aaron’s guilt returned, but before he could try to formulate a response, his phone rang.

“Hotchner.”

“Hey, Aaron. I need to know if I need to set another place.” He looked at her. She was watching him expectantly. He hadn’t met anyone like her either.

“Yeah Dave, another spot. We’ll be there in a half hour or so.”

“Coming together are you?”

“Bye Dave.”

“Nosy friends?”

“Very, like I said, family. I can drive.”

“You can pay too because I have-” She was in the process of getting the challenge coin out of her jeans when he put his own matching one down on the table, pulled from his jacket pocket. She blinked in surprise.

“What? Old habits die hard. Plus Dave was a Marine and he’s tried to pull that on me.” He paid for their drinks anyway and led the way to his car. Willow was still watching him in surprise until they got to the car.

“Not a blue pickup anymore?” Willow asked, sliding into the passenger seat of the SUV.

“Wasn’t so practical after I moved to the city. Not the country boy anymore.”

“Clearly, I was surprised that I couldn’t hear an accent anymore. Pity you got rid of the truck, loooots of good memories.” Aaron smiled and turned on the car. The radio kicked on and it was the same country station it was always on.

“Good to know not everything about you has changed,” Willow said quietly, looking out the window as Aaron started towards the house.

“Not everything,” Aaron agreed, reaching over the console to take her hand. He started to sing the lyrics to the song, the South Carolina twang entering his voice as he did. She smiled and shook her head, squeezing his hand.

By the time they arrived at Rossi’s house, they were both singing and laughing. A few cars were already in the driveway and Aaron led the way up to the front door, not bothering to knock.

“I’m here!”

“Heyyy, Aaarrrooonnn!” Emily came down the hall, clearly stumbling.

“Hi Emily, do you need some help there.”

“Uh, no. Who- O M G you’re the army lady.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” Aaron helped her back down the hall, Willow trailing while looking around the house, amazed. The house was enormous.

“She’s been here a while,” Dave supplied when they arrived in the kitchen. Spencer and JJ were sitting at the counter talking.

“We’re here!” Garcia’s voice called. Derek and Penelope arrived in the kitchen, rounding out the group.

“Everyone, this is Willow Cutler, she was in my unit in the Army.” All of them stared.

“You were in the army?” Penelope exclaimed, “You never told us that.” Aaron helped himself to a bottle of white from a fridge and poured some for Willow too.

“Oh please, he doesn’t scream Army to you? Crisp suit as a uniform, early riser. He’s always been regimented,” Willow laughed, “He was the worst. We would all agree to be late to something and he would be early, and all the rest of us would get in trouble.” Aaron rolled his eyes. The rest of the team was watching out of entertainment. Few people were able to poke fun at Aaron, and much less at this extent.

“He was the best out of our entire group though.”

“Best at?” Willow looked at Derek, who was watching her inquisitively.

“Sniper. His call sign was Hotshot, close to Hotch, and he also almost never missed his target.”

“Uh, no I always hit my target,” Aaron shot back, “You were the one who almost never missed.”

“Modest,” JJ laughed, “I guess it makes sense why he always takes those long shots without an issue.”

“He was being modest. He’s in the top twenty marksmen in the Army and he left almost twenty years ago.”

“Why did you leave, Hotch?” Spencer asked, his feet were tucked up criss cross on the stool, “If you were so good you could have stayed. Probably lived a different life.” Aaron caught Willow’s eye when Spencer said that, a very different life indeed.

“I only joined the Army so I could leave the small town I was from and go to college and get law school paid for. I stayed... longer than expected, but I paid my dues, and I got to go to law school.”

“Military takes a lot out of you,” Dave said, “That’s why Willow gets the first plate.”

“What? We’re the ones who stayed up for two days!” Spencer exclaimed. The group devolved into yelling at each other. Aaron smiled and raised his eyebrows at Willow, unspoken conversations had become easy over their seven years together, especially on deployment. This looks said ‘What do you think?’ She flashed him a smile and took a seat at the counter next to Emily, who was now drinking water out of a wine glass. She fit seamlessly into to the group. Maybe she would fit seamlessly back into his life.

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