#listening to the song Our Word and thinking about Mae

[youareunbearable]

hummm I am in the mood for some Maedhros Angst

[crimsonmoonlight88]

Together Strong

Pairing: Noa x Mae

A/N: Help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Just a short drabble inspired by a scene from Avatar that refused to leave my mind.

--

It was hard to believe the war for world domination was over for now--harder, even, to think how much had changed since the first time Mae had stepped into this ruined observatory and gazed upon the stars.

Like that fateful night, the sky was dark and cloudless, glittering with stars and the promise of a brighter future. Mae had been wrong, then. The world did not belong to the humans--it belonged to humans and apes, and together they would need to navigate this new age.

The Eagle Clan had tripled in size, and was now established as one of the leading territories. The Clan had chosen a new Master of Birds and Warlord, which called for a celebration. Mae had never known what it was like--to feast and laugh and tell stories over bonfires. To listen to the beating of drums and chants of song.

The festivities that followed the ceremony would last long through the night, and she had needed a moment of quiet, seeking this long forgotten place beneath the stars.

As Mae moved toward the telescope, she heard him enter, intentionally making himself known as to not startle her. But he did not speak. She wondered when he had noticed she had slipped away; he always seemed keenly aware of where she was, just as she was of him.

The past few weeks--months, really--had been nothing but plotting and planning and fighting. There had been blood, and death, and little time to talk about much else but war and peace. Mae did not mind. It let her avoid the truths she feared to acknowledge.

But she knew she could longer avoid them.

"It feels like ages since we were here," she said finally, a hand trailing over the cool bite of metal. "You are the Master of Birds now." She dug a finger into a groove, feeling moist dirt there. "Anaya says you will make a bow from the wood of the tallest tree." She paused. "And you will choose a mate."

Noa said nothing, watching her from the shadows in that silent, still way of his.

For some reason, Mae could not look at him, even though she could hardly look away during the ceremony. He had been covered in dark blue and white woad, adorned in armor that made him look more a knight than an ape. Master of Birds and Warlord. A leader.

Mae reached up to the necklace she always wore, her fingers playing with Raka's medallion--the symbol of peace and strength. "Nina is a good singer," she admitted. The female was one of the best in the clan, taming even the most wild of eagles.

A beat of silence. And then Noa said, his voice drifting from the shadows, "I do not want...Nina."

Mae suppressed a smile, but it quickly faded. "Soona is a good hunter. And an even better friend." And you were born within a sunset.

Another beat of quiet. And then--

"She is...all those things." He paused. "And family."

Mae stilled, not just at his words, but because he had snuck up behind her. She turned, half dreading what she might find. Noa stood at his full height, intimidating in his warrior's garb. He was hardened from war, but his eyes were still soft as he looked at her.

"But I have...already chosen," Noa went on gently. He reached out, his large hand covering hers over the medallion, his eyes bright. "But this woman...this...Nova...must also choose me."

Mae smiled at him, blinking back tears. "She already has."

His lips parted slightly, almost in disbelief. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers, his strong hands finding the back of her neck.

"You choose...this?" he breathed. "You choose...Eagle Clan? Me?"

He had once asked her if apes and humans could live together. Then, she had not known. But now, she could see no other future. Noa and Raka, Soona and Anaya and the others, even the humans that had joined their forces, they were family now.

"Yes," Mae answered. "Our cause is important. What we have built is important." She reached up, cupping his cheek. "You are important. To me."

His hands tightened on her neck, no doubt remembering those words, how he had said them to her on the battlefield when he had begged her to run. She refused. She would not leave him and the others then, and she would not leave them now.

Mae closed her eyes. "Together," she went on, "strong."

"Together," Noa echoed, his voice a promise, "strong."

And as they stood there under the stars, ape and human but somehow twin souls, Mae knew, no matter what the future held, they would face it side by side.

Together.

[agaypanic]

The Fella Part 11 (James Maguire X Quinn!Reader)

The Fella Masterlist

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Summary: As prom approaches, the girls find a strange friend in the new Our Lady Immaculate student. 

A/N: ahhhh only one chapter left!!! i usually don’t say the word count in fics, but this is the longest chapter of The Fella and possibly my longest fic to date, its almost 9k words long. So just a warning for yall. like the last few chapters, thanks to @crumpets-are-better-with-jam for writing out the script of this episode for me. Some suggestive stuff (not talking about michelle lol), but the characters are 17 and it’s not explicit. If you’re gonna be like “this surprise character you put in totally wouldn’t do this” just keep it to yourself bc i can do what i want, im the god of my creation (im so fucking crazy)

***

School formals were always exciting. At least, if you went with exciting people. And if it was a formal at the end of the year, it was even better because you could celebrate school ending and a summer of fun beginning.

One of the reasons Y/n and her friends were looking forward to the end of term was because they wouldn’t have to hear Jenny Joyce’s horrendous singing for a few months. Everyone in the assembly seemed to share their sentiment as they all stared at the stage, uninterested and displeased. It didn’t help that the girls were dressed in striped suit jackets, making them look like some sort of barbershop quartet. Y/n cringed as Jenny and her friends sang their last note, which wasn’t very good.

There was a slight pause, and Sister Michael looked relieved that this was the song’s end. “Lovely…” It was clear that she didn’t really think so. “And I believe you wrote the lyrics yourselves, is that correct?”

“It is indeed, Sister,” Jenny responded smugly.

“Makes sense,” Y/n muttered to her friends. “It was a load of shite.” They all made quiet sounds of agreement before turning their attention back to the stage.

“Do you ever think you might have too much time on your hands, girls?” Jenny and her group didn’t respond, but there was a murmur of giggles among the crowd as Sister Michael stood from her chair. “Lose the jackets.” She said, dismissing them from the stage before stepping up to the microphone. “Okay, just a couple of things. Firstly, I’d like to introduce Mae Cheung. Can you make yourself known, please, Mae?”

A few rows before the girls, a hand slowly and awkwardly rose into the air in the middle of the crowd. Everyone tried to get a good look at her, but it was difficult since most people could only see the back of her head.

“Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry, so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.” There was a beat of silence before Sister Michael remembered the other announcement she needed to make. She pulled out a piece of paper, looking at the crowd before reading it. “Announcement from Jenny Joyce and the dance committee: ‘The school social event for the year is fast approaching, but before you… don your glad rags… and- boogie- on- down…’” She sighed, looking at the paper appalled. “I’m sorry, I simply cannot read this.” She stepped away from the microphone, giving Jenny Joyce the paper before sitting in her chair.

Jenny eagerly went to the mic, showing too much energy and enthusiasm for a Monday morning with her big grin and little dance moves as she spoke. “But before you don your glad rags and boogie on down, we’d like to let you in on our little secret. We’re not actually gonna have a school formal this year.”

The assembly went into an uproar, and rightfully so. There were some murmurs of disbelief and booing, and Jenny waved her hands around with a smile.

“No, listen. We’re not gonna have a school formal. We’re gonna have…” As she paused for effect, her three friends started singing ‘doo-be doo’s in the background. “A fifties prom!”

That caused even more of a reaction. Michelle and Y/n were pretty vocal about this silly decision, gaining the attention of Sister Michael. “Girls!” She said, effectively quieting the large room. She addressed all the students, but her somewhat mischievous gaze was on Y/n and Michelle. “If you have any feedback, you can find Miss Joyce after assembly.”

“I know, I know.” Jenny laughed off everyone’s reactions. “But I do love a theme. Sure, isn’t that why they call me the Theme Queen?”

The girls looked at each other, confused. “Who said that?” Y/n asked.

“Do they?” Clare questioned.

“Do they fuck.” Michelle answered.

Jenny continued, not having heard their little conversation. “We wanted to have a real, old school, retro, vintage vibe, so feel free to just go for it!”

“Feel free to kiss my hole,” Michelle muttered.

After being released by Sister Michael, the girls and James walked through the hallways, discreetly looking for someone. Turning into one of the halls with a wall of lockers, Clare gasped.

“There she is.” Everyone saw the new girl, Mae, at her locker. Clare turned around to face her friends, filled with her usual frantic energy. “Okay, so, I say we just go over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I supposed what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less-”

“Shit.” Y/n finished the sentence, giving Clare a much-needed break to breathe.

“Precisely.”

“Why do we even have to talk to her?” Michelle asked, her crabby mood from having to listen to Jenny earlier still present.

Clare rolled her eyes, thinking the answer was obvious. “Because she’s new, Michelle.”

Michelle groaned. “I hate people I don’t know.”

“Aw.” Y/n cooed, putting an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “Does that mean you love us?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” She answered, shoving Y/n’s arm off.

“And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she happens to be Chinese.” Clare continued. “I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?”

“We could keep her in my toy box.” Y/n and Erin looked at their cousin with alarm.

“No, we couldn’t, Orla.”

“That’s kidnapping, I’m pretty sure.”

“She’d definitely fit,” Orla said adamantly.

“That’s not the point.”

“Fine.” Michelle was clearly ignoring the strange side conversation. “But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in-one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.”

Everyone responded in agreement, except for Y/n and James, of course. The girls made their way over to the new girl, leaving the couple confused.

“Excuse me?” James said to no one in particular, but then frowned at his girlfriend. “Are they serious?”

Y/n snorted, grabbing James’ arm. “Probably.” Without further elaboration, she pulled the boy towards the rest of their friends. Despite only being separated for a short time, it seemed that James and Y/n had missed some secondhand embarrassment from Clare’s brief interaction with the new girl, Mae.

Mae stared at Clare for a moment before looking at the group. “Is she alright?”

Michelle leaned down to Clare’s ear, rolling her eyes. “Burnin’ for you, Clare.”

“It’s Cantonese.” Clare stuttered out to Mae.

“Right. Well, I’m from Donegal, and we speak English there.”

“If you say so, Mae,” Michelle said. “But I spent a summer in Killybegs, and seriously, not a fuckin’ word.” Y/n elbowed her friend in the side, making a comment about how that might’ve been more of an issue with Michelle’s intelligence than with the town of Killybegs.

Clare smiled kindly at Mae, trying to amend the awkward situation. “We just wanted to introduce ourselves and-”

“-Okay, I think I see where this is going.” Mae interrupted, holding up her hand to further silence the short blonde. “I get this a lot. Dull, white girls want me to join their gang because, well…” Mae gestured to herself to finish the point. 

“We’re not dull,” Erin argued.

“Sure.”

Y/n pointed to James. “And he’s a boy.”

“A man, Y/n.” James corrected, as if he had had this conversation many times. “I’m a man.”

“Woah.” Mae almost laughed. “She has a really fucked up accent.”

“We know,” Michelle said with a sigh.

James leaned into his girlfriend, slightly offended. “I’m not a girl; I’m a man.”

“Sure you are, Jamie,” Y/n said, patting his cheek before focusing back on the main conversation.

Mae sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder and looking the group over with a judging look. “What’s in this for me?” She asked. “What do you bring to the table?”

Orla held out her hand. “Six cream crackers?”

Y/n snatched one of the crackers and put it in her mouth, looking at Mae. “Five cream crackers.” She corrected. Mae raised her brow at the two girls.

“I’m good for cream crackers, thank you.” Her tone was filled with sass, but Orla didn’t catch it, so she just shrugged and put them back in her pocket. Mae slammed her locker closed and gave the girls one last look. “I’ll see you around, girls.”

The group disappointedly watched her walk off. Except for Orla, because the girl was an optimist through and through. “Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person.” She said. “We’ve still got a lesbian.”

Suddenly, Mae whipped her head back around. “What? Who?” She quickly walked back to the girls. Timidly, Clare raised her hand.

“Me.”

Mae didn’t look too convinced. “Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.”

Y/n put a protective arm around Clare, almost standing in front of her. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” She asked inquisitively. Mae’s sudden interest and then questioning of Clare being a lesbian was making Y/n wonder if the girls should even try to get her to be their friend.

Mae seemed to ignore Y/n, instead giving Clare a once-over. “It’s just that you’re a bit… short.”

“Well, there’s no height restrictions.” Clare rebutted before glancing at Y/n a bit anxiously. “As far as I’m aware.”

“Interesting.” Mae started looking like she was putting together a scheme in her head. “I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally, a fella-”

“Oh, we’ve got one right here.” Michelle laughed, pointing to her cousin. He and Y/n looked at her with exasperation.

“I’m not gay!”

“He’s not gay!”

“Howdy, folks.” The girls recognized the voice instantly, cringing at the sight of Jenny Joyce, who had now intercepted the entire interaction. Michelle made her distaste for the girl known with an eye roll and a little curse. Jenny ignored it. “I’m Jenny. This is Aisling.” She pointed to the tall brunette who seemed to always be by her side. “We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if-”

Clare jumped between Jenny and Mae, throwing her arms out to shield the new girl from Jenny. “Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.”

“I see,” Jenny responded, looking amused and alarmed by Clare before looking back to Mae. “Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so perhaps my circle is a bit more diverse.”

“Back. Off.” Clare seethed, her intensity starting to startle her friends.

Jenny managed to hand Mae a piece of paper with her phone number scribbled on it. “Think about it. Give me a call.” She was finally about to walk away when she remembered something and spun back around to the group. “Oh! And F-Y-I, the Prom Queen vote closes today.”

“F-Y-I, nobody gives a shit,” Michelle remarked.

Aisling held out a piece of paper, waiting for someone to take it. “Here’s the wee ballot.”

Erin snatched it quickly, rolling her eyes when she read the list of candidates. “I see you’ve thrown your hat in the ring, Jenny.”

The girl waved her hand, her humility clearly faked. “I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.” Then she finally left, Aisling in tow.

Y/n snorted. “I didn’t know Jenny was like that.”

“Dirty bitch.” Michelle added, shaking her head.

***

After school, the girls decided to go to the shopping center instead of straight home. After all, they had much to discuss. After hopping off the bus, they started their trek into town. 

“This prom is going to be a full-blown dick fest.” Michelle started, the word ‘prom’ catching everyone’s attention. “Y’know there’s not even gonna be a DJ? Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fuckin’ pensioner band.”

“Fucks sake.” Y/n sighed.

“Christ, really?” Erin asked.

Michelle nodded. “I heard the drummer is at least thirty.” Seeing the smirk she wore when dropping that piece of information, Clare’s mouth dropped in horror.

“I don’t feel so bad about missing it now,” James said, feeling a sense of relief. “It clashes with my thing.”

Y/n confusedly looked at her boyfriend, unaware of what his ‘thing’ was. But before she could ask, Michelle rolled her eyes and looked back at her cousin. “The creep convention? Seriously?”

“It’s not a creep convention!”

Michelle shrugged, clearly not convinced. “Well, I think a load of perverts gettin’ together to wank over some fella who fights hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fuckin’ definition of a creep convention.”

James scoffed. “It’s a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.”

“Well, someone should’ve called Social Services then, James.”

“You’re not going to the prom then, James?” Clare asked, seeming offended. He shook his head, and Clare looked over to Y/n, who was already looking at her with a confused and disappointed look.

Eventually, the group reached the shopping center. The conversation moved to the topic of dates, or lack thereof.

“I have no clue who to ask.” Clare sighed, a bit frustrated. “I’d ask James, but-” She cut herself off, remembering that she was the only one completely aware of the relationship between James and one of her best friends. 

“But you’re not desperate, Clare.” Michelle finished her sentence with a laugh. “And tell me about it. There’s at least five fellas who fancy the arse off’a me, but I just can’t choose.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely the same,” Clare responded with a grumpy face and monotonous tone.

Erin nudged the small blonde with her elbow. “I’ll be your date, Clare.”

“But, Erin, people might talk. They might get the wrong idea.”

“Let them.” She said proudly, head held high. “We need to break down these ridiculous conventions.”

Y/n would’ve commented about her sister’s somewhat fake activism, but she kept her mouth shut after seeing the hopeful look on dear Clare’s face. “Thank you.” 

Erin would have responded to Clare if she hadn’t caught sight of a familiar face. Through the window of the cafe the girls were walking to, Erin could see a boy about their age sitting at a far table with a girl, and they both looked somewhat miserable. “Oh God, John-Paul’s over there,” Erin said stiffly, turning around to look at her friends. “Christ, but it’s been so awkward since we broke up.”

“For fuck’s sake, Erin,” Michelle said, remembering the event a bit differently than how Erin was painting it. “He kissed your cheek at Kerry Coyle’s sixteenth birthday party.”

“Didn’t he pass out in his own boke?” Y/n asked, recalling the embarrassing moment. “Feckin’ lightweight.”

Erin looked over her shoulder back at John-Paul. “Yeah, he missed that boat, alright.”

“Come on already.” Michelle opened the door, pushing the girls into the cafe. “I’m fucking starving.”

James was about to go inside but was held back by Y/n. The door closed after Orla, leaving the couple outside.

“Are you okay, Y/n?” James asked, as curious and thoughtful as ever.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the convention?” 

James cringed at the twinge of hurt in her voice, realizing that he had never told her about the Doctor Who convention and how it was the same night at prom. “I… forgot?”

“You’re really gonna go?” Y/n didn’t want to start a fight over this, but she thought her boyfriend would have debated between prom and the convention, or tell her that he had plans at the very least. James nodded. “I just thought that, you know, prom is usually a couple’s thing. And we’re a couple. I thought it might be fun to go together.”

“I can go to prom if you want me to,” James said, wanting to please his girlfriend. 

But that caused the opposite reaction. Y/n shook her head, a slight frown appearing on her face. “I don’t wanna force you to go, James. You can obviously go to the convention if you really want to. I just…” She sighed, getting a little worked up. “I just wish you would’ve told me first, that’s all.”

James nodded apologetically. “I was going to, Y/n, I swear. It just slipped my mind.”

“It’s fine.”

The two stood outside the cafe door, wondering if there was anything more to say or if they should go inside. 

“You know, just because I’m not going doesn’t mean you don’t have to go,” James said, giving his girlfriend a hopeful look. “I mean, if you want to go, of course.”

Y/n nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

Another pause. “We’re okay, right?”

The slightly scared look on James’ face, like he had done something wrong, made Y/n place her hands on his cheeks and sweep her thumbs over his cheekbones in a comforting motion. “Of course, we’re okay, Jamie.” To emphasize the point, she gave him a peck on the lips before letting go of his face and grabbing his hand. “Now let’s go inside, I’m hungry.”

When they entered the cafe, James walked Y/n to the table their friends were sitting at and pulled out a chair for her to sit in before going to the counter to order for the both of them. “She is not a model!” Erin responded sharply to something Y/n had missed.

“Who’s not a model?” She asked quickly, and her friends looked at her like they didn’t realize she had just now entered the conversation.

“Cara something,” Michelle answered, not very discreetly pointing over to the girl sitting with John-Paul. “The girl that that John-Paul fella is pokin’. Heard she’s gonna be on Baywatch.”

“Oh yeah, I heard that too.”

Erin groaned in frustration, looking at her sister. “Get real, Y/n. She’s not gonna be on Baywatch.”

“It’s just what I heard.”

“Oh my God.” Clare seemed to be the only one still paying attention to John-Paul and the supposed Baywatch model. “Looks like they’re breaking up.”

The girls looked at the couple. Erin almost snapped her neck with how fast she turned her head. “Jesus, are they really?” She wondered aloud, a bit too hopefully. “Are they breaking up?” Cara got up and left the table, leaving a broken-hearted John-Paul to watch her walk away. Erin’s eyes also followed the girl, but she seemed much more gleeful about Cara’s departure. “They are. They’re breaking up. This is class!”

“What?” Clare asked, being the voice for the perplexed group of girls.

“Later.” 

As soon as Cara was out the door, Erin jumped out of her seat and sped over to John-Paul.

“What’s class?” James startled the girls as he set some food and drinks on the table before sitting in the empty chair beside Y/n.

“Remember how we were talking about that lad John-Paul?” Y/n asked, taking a sip of her drink as James nodded. “Well, him and the girl he was with, who’s gonna be on Baywatch, by the way, broke up, and she left him. So now Erin’s swooped in like a vulture.”

“She has no respect for herself,” Michelle commented, looking over the menu on the table. “And coming from me…”

“That is bad.” Clare frowned.

“Terrible even,” Y/n added.

“Exactly.”

Clare, Orla, and Michelle soon got up and went to the counter to order. This gave Erin privacy to bother John-Paul, who looked like he was seconds away from a breakdown, and allowed Y/n and James to have lunch and talk in peace. 

“Can I have a bite of your sandwich?” The girl asked, pointing at the nibbled-on food in front of James.

“If I can have a bite of your doughnut.” He responded, pointing his own finger to the sweet treat.

The couple nodded in agreement and held their food to each other’s mouths. They took a bite at the same time, mumbling about how good the food was while chewing.

“What’re you doing?” Michelle asked, her lip curling in a slight snarl as she, Clare, and Orla came back to the table.

“What?” Y/n asked, not noticing James taking a second bite of her doughnut.

“You’re looking like you’re going out or something,” Michelle explained, wagging her finger between the two teens. “It’s making me sick. Like, if someone thought I was goin’ out with James, I think I’d kill myself.”

“Hey!”

“Well, he is your cousin, Michelle.” Y/n laughed. 

Her friend shrugged and sat down, muttering about how the English thing was worse before talking to Clare about something else. With the attention off of them, Y/n reached down to squeeze James’ hand and smiled at him. But the smile was soon wiped off her face when she realized her doughnut was now half eaten.

***

Erin boasted about her new prom date the entire walk home, much to everyone else’s outspoken chagrin and annoyance. James, Michelle, and Clare were lucky, because they didn’t live in the McCool-Quinn household. So after the three dispersed from the group to go to their own homes, Y/n and Orla had to hear about Erin’s plans to get a new dress and maybe even new shoes to impress John-Paul for their date.

Then, the rest of their family got to hear about it.

“This is a huge deal.” Erin insisted to her mother that she was following around the kitchen. “This is a massive, massive deal. I’m going to the prom with John-Paul O’Reilly, for God’s sake. Come on, Mammy!”

Mary shook her head. “I don’t care if you’re going to the prom with John Paul the Second, Erin. I’m not buying you another frock. End of story.”

“But, Mammy, you don’t understand.”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with your Easter dress.”

Erin scoffed. “There’s lots of things wrong with my Easter dress.”

“It matches Y/n and Orla’s.” Mary persisted, waving her hand over to the girls she just named. Orla was wearing her Easter dress and holding her mother’s cigarette while she and Y/n pinched the fabric at her waist to see what had to be taken in.

“That being the main one.”

“Honestly, Erin, I think we’ll look so cracker if we rock up wearin’ these.” Orla grinned, doing a little shimmy with her words.

Erin raised her brows and gave her cousin a smile that looked more like a grimace. “Right, well I don’t.”

Aunt Sarah pulled more on the loose fabric, grabbing her cigarette from her daughter for a quick drag. “Ach, Mary, you’d think the wain’s been dropped into it. You wouldn’t nip it in a bit for her? I’d do it meself, but sewing plays havoc on my acrylics.”

“Fine.”

“Y/n, dear, can you pin it for me?” Sarah asked, gesturing to her nails. The girl nodded and grabbed some safety pins to cinch Orla’s dress. “Then afterward, Orla and I can do yours for you.”

“Nah, that’s fine,” Y/n replied. “Don’t think I’ll wear it.”

Orla gasped in disappointment, wondering why both her cousins didn’t want to match with her. Meanwhile, Erin kept trying to convince her mother she absolutely needed a new frock.

“I really like this fella, Mammy.”

“Well, if he really likes you, it won’t matter what you wear.”

“Ach, come off it!”

“Have you a date lined up, girls?” Aunt Sarah asked her daughter and niece before taking a drag of her cigarette. 

One seemed to be more enthusiastic about the question than the other. “I do, aye,” Orla answered.

“What?” Erin gave her cousin a strange look. “...With, like, a human?”

The girl blinked before nodding, like Erin was the strange one. “...Yeah.”

“What about you, love?” Sarah looked to Y/n, who was wrapped up in making sure she didn’t accidentally stab Orla. The girl looked up when she realized she was being spoken to. “Has anyone snatched you up for the dance yet?”

Y/n shook her head, trying to not seem so disappointed about it. “Nope. But it’s fine.” She sighed, going back to picking at her nails. “I dunno if I’m even gonna go.”

“What d’ya mean you’re not going?” Erin questioned, seeming offended that her sister would even debate not attending the prom. “You have to go.”

“Why do I have to go, Erin?”

Erin made that little sort of laugh and eye roll that she did when she felt like someone had said something silly or dumb, and she was about to correct it with her obvious intelligence. “It’s prom, Y/n. It’s a big deal.”

“It’s only prom-” Y/n was cut off by a commotion in the living room. Gerry yelped in surprise as Joe banged on something, but no one seemed to care enough to look at what was happening. She shook her head and continued. “Besides, Erin, there’ll be other proms. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Y/n could tell her sister wasn’t entirely convinced. To be perfectly honest, she wasn’t too convinced herself. But she’d rather lie and say she didn’t care than make James feel bad about being unable to take her.

Erin looked at Y/n inquisitively. She walked up to her and crossed her arms. “Is this because Ja-”

“This stupid prick’s broken the TV, Mary!” Joe cried out, and his daughter rushed to the living room. Gerry looked appalled at his father-in-law. “He’s been futterin’.”

“Excuse me, you’re the one that was thumpin’ it repeatedly, Joe.”

“I’ll thump you repeatedly.”

“Well, the pair of you’d better sort it out!” Mary interjected before walking over to her sister. “London’s Burning’s on in twenty minutes.”

“God, Mary, but them poor fellas are flat out with fires, so they are. Jesus, but they never get a minute.”

Behind Mary, Joe started to slam the television even harder than before, and Gerry cringed with every slap. “Aye, it’s a good job they keep themselves in such great shape.”

“Don’t, Mary.” Sarah gasped. “That Greek fella…”

“He could throw me over his shoulder any day of the week.”

Y/n and Erin stared at their mother and aunt before looking at each other. They were both equally horrified and disgusted.

“They make me sick.”

“Boke-o-rama.”

***

Clare didn’t take the news of Erin ditching her for John-Paul very well, despite telling Erin it was fine. Erin was the only one who believed her, too wrapped up in her and John-Paul’s revived “relationship.” But Clare pretty quickly found a new date: the new girl from Donegal, Mae, who was going dress shopping with the girls and James when she heard about Erin’s little betrayal. 

After Clare’s date problem was solved, the girls had to solve their dress problem. But Michelle came to the rescue—or rather, her mother’s credit card that she stole came to the rescue. Despite Clare’s very vocal opinion about committing a crime, the rest of the girls were on board on account of having no money.

“What do you think of this one?” Erin asked, coming out in a very tight, turquoise dress. 

“It’s very…” Y/n trailed off, trying to think of an appropriate word. “Different.”

“I’m not sure it’s you, really,” Michelle added.

“Good,” Erin said, in a bit of a struggle as she walked over to a mirror. “I don’t wanna be me.”

Clare walked up to the group, holding two dresses. “Which of these do you like best?”

“Definitely the pink,” Erin answered.

But Clare didn’t care much about Erin’s opinion. “Has to be the blue,” Mae said, and Clare glared at Erin.

“Yeah, I thought the blue.”

“What about you, Y/n?” James asked a bit quietly, holding a pile of dresses that all the girls had thrown at him. “Don’t you wanna look for a dress? You are going to the prom, right?”

He knew her answer before she said it, because she gave him a bit of a frown and a shrug. “I don’t think I will.”

“Y/n-”

“It’s fine, really! I was thinking of helping Daddy fix our TV.” She looked around at all the clothing racks before giving James what she hoped was a convincing smile. “Besides, nothing here’s really my taste.”

“Although, I have heard he’s really good with his hands.” Michelle talking about one of her possible dates reached the couples’ ears. “And when I say he’s good with his hands, I’m not talking about puttin’ up shelves, girls. I’m talking about-”

“Everybody knows what you’re talking about, Michelle.” James interrupted, hoping it would be enough for her to move on. But everybody also knew there was no stopping Michelle from her vulgarity.

The curly-haired girl smirked. “Fingerin’.”

James cringed. “Honestly…”

After much decision-making about what dresses to get, the girls went to the front to pay with Michelle’s stolen card. Mae, who didn’t find a dress she liked, gasped and pointed behind the counter to a red dress that was hung up. 

“Oh my God, that’s the one! Can I try that one on, please?”

“Sorry, love.” The shop owner said apologetically. “That’s being left over for someone.”

“What?”

“Hiya!” In came Jenny Joyce, holding a couple of balloons. “Sorry girls, can’t stop.”

“Don’t worry.” Y/n smiled. “No one asked you to.”

“I’m just grabbing a few wee bits for the prom.” Jenny continued while the owner started bagging up the red dress. “Sure, you know how it is.”

“I was actually about to try that one on,” Mae said, pointing to the dress Jenny was now paying for.

“Well, I left it over, so…”

“It’s just that, red’s my color.”

“Yeah, mine too.”

The rest of the girls backed up a bit, surprised by how hostile Mae and Jenny were becoming towards each other. “No, you don’t understand. I really, really suit it.” The shop owner placed the bag on the counter, and Mae inched her hand towards it. “Garnet’s actually my birthstone.”

“Well, ruby’s mine, so…” Jenny grabbed her bag, and Mae slammed her hand on the counter. She looked at the Joyce girl menacingly. If Jenny was intimidated, she definitely didn’t show it.

“I want that dress, Jenny.”

“Well, you can’t have it.” Jenny left the store, leaving the girls to deal with Mae, who was cursing her out and beyond livid.

***

Prom night had finally arrived after much anticipation. Erin was upstairs in her room getting ready on her own while Aunt Sarah was doing her daughter’s hair and makeup in the kitchen. Mary watched while sipping her tea because Erin didn’t want her help, and Y/n decided to help her father fix their busted television set instead of going to the dance. Granda Joe was nowhere to be found, which relieved Gerry a bit because it meant his father-in-law wasn’t criticizing him.

“Now, close your eyes,” Sarah said, picking up two giant cans of hairspray. “I’m just going to give you a wee light mist, just so it holds for you.”

Y/n could smell the fumes from her spot on the floor in the living room, so she could only imagine what it was like being her mother or cousin in the kitchen. A cloud of hairspray surrounded Orla, making her cough a bit, and Mary covered her tea.

Finally ready, Erin came down from her room and into the kitchen. It took her a bit of effort because her dress was so tight that she had to take baby steps in her heels. “What do you think?” Everyone looked at her, all seeming to have the same reaction.

Mary looked the most surprised by her daughter’s appearance. “God, aye. It’s…” She trailed off, wanting to be honest but nice about it. “Different, isn’t it?”

“Different?” Erin asked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well… it was nice of Michelle to lend it to you, love, but it just doesn’t look…” Mary grimaced, trying to choose her words carefully, “very comfortable.”

Erin rolled her eyes a little. “It’s really comfortable, actually.” She said, walking closer. “It’s like a second skin.”

“I don’t think that’s a good thing, Erin,” Y/n called out, handing Gerry a screwdriver. “I dunno if a second skin should be turquoise and… Well, squeaking when you walk.”

“It does not squeak,” Erin replied, squeaking as she hobbled to the table. 

Erin looked forward to see Orla looking at her grumpily. “I wish you would wear your Easter frock, Erin. When we were wee, we always went to parties dressed the same.”

“We’re not wee anymore, Orla.”

Orla grumbled in agreement while Erin handed her mother a piece of paper. Mary unfolded it and looked it over, and Aunt Sarah did the same from over her shoulder.

“What’s this?” Mary asked.

“It’s some guidelines,” Erin answered. “Things you are and aren’t allowed to say to John-Paul when he gets here.”

“Right.” Mary stared into her daughter’s eyes, not looking away as she crumpled the paper into a ball. Erin looked a bit disturbed but decided it was best not to say anything.

“What time’s your date arriving at, Orla, love?” Sarah asked, doing the final fixes on Orla’s hair.

Granda Joe waltzed into the room, wearing a white suit with a yellow rosette pinned to it. “He’s already here.” He said, doing a little spin before walking the rest of the way to the kitchen.

“You asked Granda to the prom?” Erin asked, smiling a little.

Orla’s grin was the widest in the bunch, eyes staying on her grandfather. “Well, everyone kept sayin’ you have to ask a fella you really like, and this is the fell I like the most.” Joe beamed, bowing down and presenting another yellow rose from his pocket for the girl.

“That’s so sweet, Orla.” Y/n said from her spot next to the TV. “Granda’s a lucky lad, that’s for sure.”

“Why, thank you, love,” Joe replied, turning to fully show his granddaughter the happy smile he had been sporting.

“Aye, you’re looking well, Joe,” Gerry added, taking a small break from trying to repair the television to weigh in.

“Oh, it’s not all shite you talk, Gerry.” Gerry gave his daughter an unimpressed look, making her giggle as he went back to the task at hand. Joe turned back to Orla. “Should we head?”

“John-Paul’s picking me up at seven,” Erin replied. “You go on; we’ll see you there.”

Joe looked back to Y/n, waiting for her answer. The girl waved her hand. “Oh, I’m not goin’. Don’t have a date and all that. Besides, I dunno what I’d wear.”

“You could wear your Easter frock, Y/n,” Orla said, trying to entice the girl once more into matching with her. But she just laughed and shook her head.

“No thanks, Orla.”

While Orla said goodbye to her mother and aunt, Joe walked over to Mary and whispered something to her. They looked over at Y/n, who didn’t notice their eyes because she was looking for a tool her father had asked for. Mary nodded at Joe for an unknown reason, and soon, he and Orla were off to the prom.

Erin sat down, struggling quite a bit because of her dress’s tightness. When she was settled, she looked at the clock. Only fifteen minutes until John-Paul arrived.

***

When twenty minutes had passed, Y/n knew John-Paul wasn’t coming for her sister. She couldn’t say she was surprised, but she was still saddened for her sister. “I’ll be right back, Daddy,” Y/n whispered before standing up and sneaking to the entrance where the phone and some privacy were.

Y/n knew she had to call someone, but was racking her brain on who. Everyone she knew was either at the prom or busy with something else. 

Suddenly, she jumped as if the idea that came to her had shocked her. She quickly dialed and held the phone to her ear, listening to the rings.

Then, someone finally picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“David?”

“Y/n?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” She peered out the door, seeing Erin still staring at the clock. “How’ve you been?”

“Same old stuff, really,” David answered. “Band’s picked up a few gigs this month, it’s been pretty-”

“That’s great. Listen, can you do me a favor?”

David couldn’t help but laugh at the interruption and how urgent Y/n sounded. “Uh, maybe? What d’ya need?”

“Remember my sister, Erin?” He made a small hum of confirmation. “Well, she used to have a massive thing for you until that whole thing at Jenny’s party a few months ago.”

“You mean when she called that Russian girl your fella was going out with a prostitute?”

“She was Ukrainian, but yes. Anyway, she pretty much gave up on you after that because the whole thing was so embarrassing. But…” Y/n looked to the kitchen again. She could see Mary looking at her daughter a bit sadly, as if she also knew John-Paul wasn’t coming for her. “The prom’s tonight, and her date’s not coming. And… as annoying as she is, she’s my sister and all. So I was wondering if maybe you’d be willing to-”

“I’ll be there at 7:30.” David cut her off, feeling it was only fair since she had interrupted him just moments ago.

Y/n had to keep herself from squealing, not wanting to give Erin the idea that something was going on. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

After saying a quick goodbye, Y/n hung up the phone and snuck back out to the living room. David would arrive in twenty minutes, and she just had to count on Erin being hopeful enough to wait that much longer. 

Nothing much had really happened in those twenty minutes. Y/n assisted Gerry in fixing their broken TV, Mary and Aunt Sarah played a card game, and Erin sat and stared at the clock. The only time she moved was to go to the phone in the kitchen, but she was so quiet and far away that Y/n had no idea who she was calling. 

When the clock struck 7:30, Erin sighed. “He’s not coming.”

“Ach, love.” Mary frowned.

“I’m gonna go and change.” That made Y/n panic, and she scrambled off of the floor.

“What?” She said, walking over to Erin and slightly shaking her head. “No, just give it a few more minutes.”

“I wanna get out of this thing.” Erin teared up, struggling to get out of her chair. With how tight the dress was, she started to waddle towards the stairs.

Y/n was hot on her sister’s heels, which wasn’t hard because moving was so difficult for her in that tight dress. “Erin, please. Just-” The doorbell rang, and Y/n let out a breath of relief. She scooted past Erin and went to the door. “See! I told you! Now, I know you were hoping for John-Paul, but I think-... James?”

Y/n was stunned to silence. James was standing right in front of her, dressed up as the Fourth Doctor from Doctor Who, smiling right at her. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“David?” Erin waddled over to the door, and that’s when Y/n finally noticed her friend David Donnelly standing next to James, dressed in a suit with no tie. 

“Erin.” He replied with a nod.

The two girls looked at each other, confused. “What’s he doing here?” They asked in unison, pointing to the boy that was in front of them, who both laughed at their reactions.

“I called David for you because I knew John-Paul stood you up.”

“I called James for you because I knew you wanted to go to the prom with him.”

Y/n looked up at her boyfriend. “Wait, what about your creep convention?”

She laughed when he rolled his eyes. “It’s not a creep convention, and you know that. And it’s not important. I just…” James sighed, toying with his long, colorful scarf. “I knew the prom meant a lot to you, and Erin calling me just gave me the push I needed. Besides, I didn’t want to miss a chance to dance with my girl.”

“Ach, Jamie.” Y/n sighed endearingly, cupping his face. She gave him a soft, long kiss that he eagerly returned.

Erin and David had their own little conversation, trying not to look at the couple that were sucking face. “I’m surprised you’re here. I haven’t seen you since… Well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” David laughed a little, thinking back to that night. Then he shrugged. “But Y/n called tellin’ me your date stood you up and… I dunno, you’re kinda cool to talk to and whatever.”

“I am?” Erin asked excitedly. 

“I said ‘kinda’.”

“Wait.” Y/n finally pulled away from James, looking down at her attire. “What am I gonna wear?”

“I’ll take you wearing this,” James said, seemingly serious as he looked at his girlfriend’s ripped jeans and oversized sweater that she had stolen from Granda Joe’s closet. The three other teens gave him unimpressed looks. “What? So what if it’s not a formal dress, she still looks nice.”

“I have something better.” Everyone jumped in surprise as Mary poked her head in. “Come over here. I’ve got somethin’ to show you.”

Y/n pulled Erin to their mother, giving the boys a final glance over her shoulder. “Go ahead and talk, we won’t be long.”

Mary led her daughters to the kitchen, where two big boxes they’d never seen before sat on the table. Mary gestured for the girls to open them, which they did.

“Oh my God, Mammy.” Y/n pulled out a pink dress with layers, ruffles, and small arm straps. Erin held a similar styled dress but in blue. “Where on earth did you get these?”

“They were my mother’s,” Mary answered, looking at the dresses fondly. “Your Granda said to bring them out, in case you changed your mind about the dance. Heard it was fifties themed and all that.”

Both of Mary’s daughters now had tears in their eyes, but they were not from sadness. The girls rounded the table to hug their mum tightly.

“You know, the dress is nice and all but-” Erin cut herself off with a sniffle. “I think I wanna match with Orla.”

“Well, one of you better be wearing my Mammy’s dress,” Mary said, deadly serious with only a tiny hint of amusement in her voice. “I didn’t dig these boxes up for nothing.”

“I’ll wear it.” Y/n laughed, grabbing the box with the pink dress. “Come on, Erin, let’s go change.”

***

“You look lovely.” This was the fifth time James had said this to Y/n in the past thirty minutes. But he meant it every time he said it.

And Y/n knew he did because he couldn’t stop staring at her. “Thank you, Jamie. You look just as handsome.” The couple walked to the school doors arm in arm, Erin and David a few steps behind them. “Although…” James opened the door and looked at his girlfriend curiously. “Are you sure you didn’t want to leave the scarf at home?”

“I think it completes the look,” James said with a bit of humor, toying with the piece of clothing. “But if you want, I can leave it in the car.”

“Nah.” Y/n shook her head, giving James a peck on the lips. “How else am I gonna pull you to the dancefloor?”

The two couples went into the decorated gym, quickly spotting two of their friends. Clare was talking frantically to Michelle, who honestly looked like she couldn’t care less.

“Look, there’s a guy here; he knows Mae-” The four heard Clare say before Michelle cut her off, looking over the blonde’s shoulder to see them.

“What’s going on?” Clare turned around, a bit spooked by the sudden appearance of her friends. Michelle grimaced at Y/n and James standing together arm in arm, but opted to comment on Erin’s new date instead. “Oh, don’t tell me. Wank-features stood you up.”

“Yeah.” Erin shrugged it off like she hadn’t cried over John-Paul standing her up about an hour before. She nudged her sister. “But Y/n called David Donnelly here, so I wouldn’t go alone.”

“What can I say? I’m a sweetheart.” Y/n smiled.

Clare put a hand on Erin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Erin. About John-Paul, I mean.”

“No, I’m sorry. You were right; I was jealous. Mae’s just so cool and exotic, and you liked her so much-”

“She’s deranged!” Clare blurted out with wide eyes, taking everyone aback.

“What?”

“Who’s Mae?” David leaned back to ask Y/n and James, who said they’d explain later. He tsked, tapping Erin’s shoulder. “I’m gonna get a drink.”

“Get me some punch.” She said before turning back to Clare. “What d’you mean, Clare? You were crazy about her yesterday.”

“She’s the one who’s crazy, Erin!” Clare squealed. “I met this guy that went to her school. He said she had to leave for, like, being a bully. He said she’s seriously unhinged! I think he’s a bit pissed off with her, to be honest, and I can’t blame him, ’cause she’s given the Chinese population of Donegal a really bad rap.” Clare’s friends would always be surprised over how much she could say without taking breaks for breath.

Michelle rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Typical Donegal man. Always moanin’.”

“There she is.” Everyone looked to where James was pointing. Sure enough, Mae was on the other side of the large room, going backstage.

“What’s she doing?” Michelle wondered, and everyone started walking closer to the stage to try and get a better look.

“She was talking about how she wasn’t going to let Jenny get away with the whole Prom Queen thing,” Clare answered.

James gasped. “Jesus Christ, look. Above the stage, look!” He pointed again, and everyone followed his finger to the tin buckets rigged with rope above the stage.

“Is she doing what I think she’s doin’?” Y/n asked.

“I think she’s gonna do a Carrie.” The couple looked both concerned and impressed, now both very glad they decided to come to prom.

“Fuck-a-doodle-do!”

“What’s a Carrie?” Clare asked frantically. “What does that mean?”

“You’ve never seen Carrie?”

“No.” Everyone said something about what a good film it was, but Clare wasn’t looking for film critiques. “Expand and explain! EXPAND. AND. EXPLAIN!”

“So, Carrie is voted Prom Queen, and this bully pours a bucket of pig’s blood on her.” James quickly explained.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Well, a lot of other stuff happens. But, you know, that’s the relevant bit.” Y/n said, but before she could go more into the movie, the band on stage finished playing.

Aisling stepped up to the microphone, some feedback echoing through the gym.

“Can I have your attention, please?” She said with a smile. The girls looked terrified. “And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. It’s time to crown our Prom Queen.” Mae waited for Aisling to announce the name everyone knew would be said. She held the rope tightly, waiting for the moment she could finally release it. “And now… our Prom Queen is… Jenny Joyce!”

The girl looked completely surprised, and the girls wondered, against their better judgment, if they could just let this all play out. 

“We have to do something!” Clare yelled over the celebratory music as Jenny went up on stage.

While Jenny started to give a small acceptance speech, everyone started running. Except for Orla and Granda Joe, who were more than content with eating popcorn and watching the scene. David joined them, holding two cups of punch and wondering why his date was rushing the stage.

Michelle and James joined Erin to try and get Jenny off the stage, while Y/n went with Clare to stop Mae. It was a struggle, but it didn’t help as much as the girls thought it would. The only good thing was that Mae wasn’t crazy enough to use pig’s blood and instead soaked everyone on stage with tomato juice.

Erin tried to tell Jenny that her friends weren’t to blame, but Jenny, of course, didn’t believe her. The two girls started fighting, soon being joined by Michelle and Aisling. James just stood back and watched, not really wanting to intervene, and Y/n would’ve laughed if she wasn’t caught up in trying to break Clare and Mae apart. The rest of the audience seemed to enjoy the spectacle, laughing and having refreshments as it all played out.

***

It was a good thing David had towels in the boot of his car. Erin and James were covered and sticky with tomato juice, no matter how hard they tried to get it off them. Y/n was eternally grateful that she decided to go with Clare to stop Mae, sparing her grandmother’s dress. She didn’t think Joe would be too happy about it being covered in red, no matter how amused he was by tonight’s events.

“Jesus, the street’s packed.” David grimaced as he turned onto the sisters’ street. It was crowded with all their neighbors, whooping and partying for an unknown reason that they would surely hear about tonight or early tomorrow.

Y/n sighed, poking her head out the window. “I dunno if I wanna go home.” She settled back in her seat and looked at her boyfriend. “Wanna go to your place?”

“Sure.” He answered.

“Want me to drive you there?” David asked, but James shook his head.

“No, mate, it’s fine. I’m only a street over.”

“Yeah, take Erin home for me.” The Donnelly boy seemed to miss the sly wink Y/n gave her sister in the rearview mirror.

After some goodbyes and teasing comments, Y/n and James got out of the car and started walking down the street, weaving through all the people out and about. Surprisingly, Michelle and her parents weren’t home when the two arrived. Michelle must have still been panicking over how she was going to return her tomato-soddened dress, and James’ aunt and uncle were either at work or celebrating whatever was going on with their friends.

With the house empty, Y/n and James unwinded and relaxed. James took a much-needed shower, putting his clothes in a plastic bag so they wouldn’t stain anything else. Meanwhile, Y/n shimmied out of her dress and put on some of James’ pajamas.

“So, what do you wanna do?” James asked as he entered his room, a towel wrapped around his waist. Y/n was a little surprised by his boldness, remembering how shy he was some months ago when he didn’t have any clothes at her house and had to stand in his boxers while Y/n grabbed him a sweater.

“Maybe a movie?” Y/n suggested, watching James rifle through his dresser. She was filled with a sudden feeling of not wanting him to put on the clothes he was grabbing. “Carrie would be pretty fitting.”

They laughed, James shaking his head as he slipped his boxers on. “Oh, I don’t know.” He tore the towel off and sat down next to his girlfriend, pulling a shirt over his head. “I think there’s been enough blood, or blood adjacent, covered people tonight.”

Y/n laid back, humming in thought. “Well, there is… another thing... we could do.”

James looked down at Y/n, waiting for her to elaborate. She reached up his back, lightly tugging on his shirt until he laid down beside her. Y/n hooked a leg over James’ waist and brushed some wet curls away from his forehead. As her other hand slowly traveled down his chest, he started to get what she was hinting at.

“Only if you want to, obviously.”

James pushed Y/n off of him only to hover over her, kissing her deeply. He helped her shimmy up his bed until her head was resting on a pillow. Feeling brave, but mainly horny, James pulled away and took off his shirt before slipping his hand under Y/n’s.

“Are you sure?” James asked, slightly panting from how escalated the moment was getting.

“Yeah,” Y/n responded, taking a deep breath before pushing James away so she could take her own shirt off. James stared at her in amazement. Before she could tease him for his reaction, he gripped her bare waist and pulled her against him, kissing her with hunger.

The prom sure was exciting. But sometimes, what happened after was much more eventful.

~~~

The Fella Taglist: @mistahjsfunnygirl @etherealdisneyvillainness @crystalsoobin-m @raggedyoldwitch @rosetintworld @regretthatsme @neenieweenie @allexiiisss @drmeghanjones @eli-com @anything-for-our-moony-toast @ilovespideyyy @eddisaurus @imagines--galore @emma-is-a-nerd @sir1usblacksgf @kaz-2y567 @spidercrush3 @miilkshakess @underthebatcape @dear-jamespotter @brithedemonspawn @acupnoodle @nevillescomslut @hantivity @slaymybreathaway @mystic-writings @thegirlwithoutaname87 @mystic-mara @st4rryhae @ljaneyx @justlibra @siriuslyinlovewithsiriusblack @elauranicolee @in-my-hoe-era @grippleback-galaxy @greensunflowerjuna @sarcasm-and-stiles @callsignwidow @qtkat @asterizee @cursedandromedablack @athenalive

[leftoverenvy]

Tastes Like Sugar (ch. 29)

Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades.  Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune.  The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend.  As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur.  But money can't buy love, right?

Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss

Warnings: smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)

Word Count: 2.8 k

Read on Wattpad | Ao3 | Previous Chapters

Taglist: @ssa-sapphic 🧸; @5raysofsunshine 🌮; @reidselle 🦭; @swiftfiles 🐝💚; @gaelic-symphony 🎻 ; @sadgirlml 🌻💌; @hotchs-bitch 🦆 ; @multiverse-mxdness ; @madelineleong ; @scorpsik 🎨 ; @heidss

A/n: Wow, I am so so sorry that it's been so long since an update.  I've finally found my joy in writing again.  If you're still following this story, I cannot tell you how much your patience and loyalty means to me.  Enjoy <3

Chapter 29 - Wayward

My summer with Emily was like a dream. She had only been gone on two cases, spending more regular hours in the office. We didn't comment on her unusually light case load for fear it would jinx it. I loved the time we were able to spend together with a more normal schedule. I enjoyed twisting myself around her while we watched movies on the couch. I relished the way she made me feel as she watched me play the piano. I yearned for the way she touched me every night.

Even though she had been gone for a case in Alaska for the last week, I still counted it a blessing to have had so many weeks uninterrupted by calls away. "Hi angel!" I startled, jumping halfway off the couch.

Once I had caught my breath, I smiled widely and responded, "Emily!" She flopped down next to me on the couch, pulling me in for a proper kiss. "Missed you," I mumbled between kisses. Once our frenzy had slowed down, I whispered against her neck, "I have something for you."

"That's funny, me too!" She whipped out a keychain with a photo of the Northern Lights in it.

I chuckled, sitting up to grab it and examine it more closely. "This is actually very pretty, Em. I thought these were supposed to be cheesy."

"I thought the Alaskan landscape deserved better. It was gorgeous up there; I wish you could have seen it."

"Thank you, babe. I love it." She kissed my cheek, tugging me closer.

"Now," she started, "What's this about a present for me?" I smiled bashfully, suddenly nervous to play the song I had finished for her. "I thought I was supposed to bring you presents."

"I didn't say it was a present. It's not a big deal. Just a lil something."

"Mmhm," she hummed skeptically, her eyes narrowing. "Show me." Something in Emily's glittering eyes told me she was excited by the prospect of receiving a gift. When was the last time someone had gotten her something that she really wanted?

I reluctantly left her arms and stood up. Butterflies swarmed my stomach, nerves overtaking me. This was a bad idea. I should have recorded her song and let her listen to it on her own. I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet – she was going to hate this.

"I've uh," I nervously sat down at the bench, "Been composing this summer." I had worked all summer on this composition when Emily was out of the house.

"I know, baby. You've done some really great pieces."

"Yeah, well." I swallowed thickly. I tried to think of what to say next.  I thought you deserved one to show you how much I love you.  Instead, I whispered, "This one's called 'Emily's Song.'" Before she could say anything, I started playing.

As soon as I pressed down on the keys, my hands knew what to do. I didn't need to think about it, muscle memory controlled my fingers. I felt myself start to tear up playing, knowing just how much love I had woven into this song. I wished I was brave enough to tell her. Embarrassed by how emotional I was, I begged my eyes to suck the tears back in, certain Emily would be appreciative but not emotional. 

As I started the last part of the song, I knew that I would never love anyone like I loved Emily Prentiss. But the thought terrified me. I was only twenty-two – what did I know about love? And how could she feel even a fraction of what I felt for her?

When the final notes of the song rang through the air, I couldn't bring myself to look at Emily, far too embarrassed. I heard her sniff and then push herself off the couch. Another beat passed and I felt her arms wrap around my shoulder. "That was perfect, Indi. Thank you." She pressed a kiss to my temple, her lips lingering longer than usual. "I mean it, angel. No one's ever written a song for me before. It was absolutely beautiful."

Her lips trailed down the side of my face, lingering at the corner of my mouth and until I turned my head to kiss her back. She deepened the kiss and trailed her hands down my body to show me how much she liked the song.

- - -

Emily and I fell back into our morning routine as if we hadn't broken it during the summer. I made us breakfast as she packed her go bag for work. We ate in silence, as she read on her iPad. Breaking the quiet, she asked, "Are you ready for your first day back?"

"I guess," I responded morosely. "I liked our summer together. I liked being able to focus on music and you. No math or English essays to worry about." Emily chuckled at that, moving her dishes to the sink. 

"At least you have a good first recital piece ready."

Puzzled, I asked, "Which one?"

"My song," she said, beaming with pride.

I narrowed my eyes with uncertainty. "You really think it's good enough for recital?"

"Yes I do," she affirmed. And her voice was so confident, it left no room for objection. "This will be your best semester yet!" she said positively. 

"But how can I be expected to do homework when you're home if your case load keeps up like this?"

"Are you pushing for me to go away on a case?" she asked with a smirk.

"Absolutely not!" I protested. "I'm just saying, it will be hard to concentrate knowing you're home."

"We'll manage, angel." She kissed me on the forehead and moved to holster her gun to her hip. My heart skipped a beat staring at her; she made everything look sexy. "I'm off to work now. I'll text you if I'm called away." She leaned down to kiss me briefly. "I want to hear all about how your first day goes! I'll call you if I'm away, or I'll see you tonight."

"Bye, Em." When the door to the garage closed softly behind her, I sighed. I wanted to get to campus early so I could get a good seat in class. I quickly did our dishes, grabbed my backpack, and hurried out the door.

But life had a funny way of balancing itself out. I had had the best summer of my life and was already disappointed to have to go back to classes, just to receive the worst welcome back to school present: my car broke down. I called Emily in tears, worried that I was going to start the semester off on the wrong foot with my first professor.

I dialed Emily's number with shaky hands, feeling the passing cars shake mine as they zoomed past me on the highway. I wasn't sure how Emily understood me through my hiccups and tears when I told her I was stuck on the shoulder of the highway.

"Shhh. Calm down, baby. It's going to be okay, I'll make all the arrangements. As soon as we're off the phone, I'll call a tow company to come get it and take it to the shop." I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, tears abating, thankful, as always, for Emily.

She continued, "In the meantime, baby, just drive the Lexus – the keys are by the door." I felt my heart rate elevate at the thought. "Or, if you'd prefer, you can Uber over to Quantico and pick up the Jag."  Pick up the Jag.  She said it so casually, as if driving one of her very expensive cars did not cause me extreme anxiety.

"No I do not want to "pick up the Jag!" Emily, what if I crash your car?!" I felt my face go hot at the thought, palms starting to sweat in anxiety. "You love all of these cars and they're so expensive and I'm not on your insurance!" I rushed out.

"Breathe Indi! It's just a car. And you don't have one right now. Please, take whatever car you want. Or Uber everywhere – I'll put more money in your account for it. Is that what you'd prefer?"

"No!" I nearly shouted. I took another deep breath, trying to keep in perspective that this wasn't Emily's fault and she was just trying to help. "I-" I exhaled into the phone. "I'm sorry," I deflated, "It wasn't fair to blow up at you like that. I appreciate you letting me drive the Lexus." 

Sensing the storm was over, Emily said, "I'm only sorry I can't see you drive it." I could almost hear the smirk in her voice. "I'm certain you'd look damn sexy in that car."

I chuckled and swiped at the remaining tears, embarrassed I had cried so much in front of Emily. "We'll see if you still say that when I ding your Lexus," I half joked.

"Like I said," her tone more serious, "It's just a car, angel." I paused, unsure what else to say. Her voice was calming though – she calmed me. "Look, I've gotta run. I promise I'll send a tow truck, but Uber home and grab the Lexus so you aren't late for class, okay?"

"Okay," I said softly, tears welling back up in my eyes.

"I'll call you later with an update."

"Bye…" And the line went dead.

- - -

Throughout my first class, my thoughts fixated on my car and how I was going to pay for everything. Even though Emily had been paying for most everything the last few months, I wasn't sure I'd be able to afford whatever the mechanic's bill was going to be. 

As my thoughts contemplated every little thing that could go wrong with my car, I missed everything my professor said. I was immensely thankful the first day was always spent going over the syllabus. I'd just have to make sure to read that thoroughly later tonight.

Over the lunch hour, Emily called. "Car's toast and probably not worth fixing."  So much for easing into it, I thought. I sighed deeply. Of course life would throw this at me. Things with Emily were just too good for everything else to be going right. 

"Okay…" I sighed. I mentally calculated how long I could go without a car while I built my savings up again. I also braced myself for having a conversation with Emily later about asking to go back to work; that battle wouldn't be won easily. But how else was I supposed to take on a car payment?

"I'll see you tonight, okay baby? I'm going to make sure to come home early."

- - -

Later that evening, once classes had finished, I arrived home. I was excited by the prospect of Emily coming home early, and I eagerly awaited the garage door opening to see if her car was in the garage. Once the door had raised fully, I counted three cars in the garage…except, whose car is that?  In my spot, where my car should have been, was parked a shiny, new Audi. Panic swelled inside of me. I didn't want to rush to conclusions, but Emily didn't drive Audis. In fact, I had told her it was my dream car. But surely she wouldn't have irrationally bought me a car without thinking about it first.

Not seeing the Jag parked in her spot, I quickly dialed her number as I walked through the door. "Do you like it?!" she asked excitedly.

"So I'm not crazy?" I spit out, trying to control my rising temper. "You did buy me a car?"

"Yes! Do you like it?" she repeated.

"Emily…" I said in warning. 

"Don't make this a big deal, India. I swear to god, don't. This isn't a big deal."

Her flippant tone fanned the flames of my anger. "It's a car, Emily. An expensive one at that." Suddenly, Emily's cavalier attitude on spending rubbed me the wrong way. I had never cared what anyone did with their money; it was theirs to do with as they pleased. But to hear firsthand how dismissive she was about such a purchase enraged me. Especially because she was wasting her money on me.

How could she not understand this? She threw money around like it was nothing. It made me feel like shit, like I was worthless. How could I ever repay someone who gave me everything? How could I ever be enough for her? I had nothing. I was nothing.

She sighed into the phone. "Can we talk about this when I get home?"

Clipped, I responded, "Great." And I hung up. Immediately, I knew I shouldn't have done that. No matter how badly she angered me, she didn't deserve to be disrespected.

I paced the living room waiting for Emily, counting out each step until I lost track. I tried to match my breathing to each tick of the clock on the wall. For forty-three minutes, I tried to calm down, anxious about our impending argument.

But no amount of mental preparation would have helped, because as soon as Emily walked through the door, we started fighting about the car.

"I don't see what the big deal is, Indi. It's a car for fuck's sake." I winced at her cursing during an argument.

"But that's exactly it, Emily! You can't understand why this is a big deal for me."

"Do you not like the car? Is that what it is? We can exchange it for any kind that you want," she offered.

"It's too much! And it wasn't part of the deal!" I shouted at her.

Shock flooded her face and she froze. Softly, almost hurt, she asked, "Do you seriously still consider this just an arrangement?" She spit the last word out as if it left a sour taste in her mouth. "You can stand there and really tell me that you still just see me as an ATM?"

"I NEVER saw you as an ATM, Emily. Of course this is more than being your sugar baby." It still didn't sit right. Rocks settled in my stomach. How could I ever get her to understand? 

"Then what? You think just because I love you that should mean my support should just stop" - she snapped her fingers - "like that?"

Our argument entirely forgotten, "You love me?" I whispered, aching at the thought of her taking it back, but sick at the thought of her really meaning it. I wouldn't allow myself to believe she meant it.

"I-" She blew out a puff of air. "Yeah." Time stopped. My breathing, my thoughts – they all stopped. "I love you, Indi. I am so in love with you."

And for a split second, I almost accepted the car. But accepting this huge gift almost felt like I would be solidifying our original arrangement. I couldn't sort it out anymore. I was overwhelmed by it all. By how much I needed Emily. By how this had turned into something so different than the life I had pictured for myself. I didn't know who I was anymore; I had lost myself in a game of make believe.

Emily couldn't want me forever like I wanted her. Too soon she would realize that I could give her nothing in return. Only then, it would be too late for me. I would be too far gone, too far entrenched in the India Emily wanted me to be, the real Indi never to be seen again.

My eyes went huge at the thought. Who had I let Emily turn me into? Who had I become during this arrangement? And how had I lost myself so quickly? Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. This mansion felt like a collapsing, cardboard box. Emily's affection, once a warm, safe blanket around me, now felt like a noose.

Shaking my head, I turned and ran upstairs. When I came back down, bag packed, Emily hadn't moved an inch. 

I needed distance from this life – from Emily – so I could find Indi again. But who was I without Emily? It had only been six months, and already I had no idea what life would be without her. I had pretended to be what I thought Emily wanted for so long that I forgot who I was. It didn't matter, though. Because if anything was certain it was that I could never be enough for Emily. She deserved so much more than the little I could give her.

I drove quickly back into the city, to Penelope, to my real life. I knocked on the door to what used to be my home praying Penelope was there to greet me. When she opened the door, tears flooded down my face. As I walked through the door, Pen's arms around me, I couldn't help but feel unsettled. I didn't feel at home here anymore. If I didn't fit into my old life, or into Emily's, where did I belong?

Continue to next chapter

[conceptalbon]

drop the all hunger all restraint and poised bones annotated playlist bestie

i wanted to actually link the full spotify playlist here but i don't want to doxx myself and remaking it would take ten thousand years SO i'm going to add my comments here and link it later cool cool

1. i'm a fool to want you by billie holiday

this aligns with soulbond!george so perfectly in my head. his perspective on the whole relationship is that it's doomed from the start; he knows alex is not in love with him since before they share their first kiss, he knows this relationship will end before it even starts.

he promises himself he will end it on multiple occasions and yet he can't bring himself to do it. he wants to minimize the heartbreak of losing alex by breaking it off on his own terms but every time the possibility of it becomes real (especially during the infamous George Bakery Breakdown or, as we in the business call it, the gbb) he falls apart.

'i'm a fool to want you // pity me, i need you // i know it's wrong, it can't be right // but right or wrong i can't get along without you'

like come onnnnn it was ghostwritten by sb!george

2. wish on an eyelash by mallrat

i found this when i was nearing the end of the writing process already and went insane over how well it works with sb!au. literally almost every line is about them my god. but especially 'made a wish on my birthday // talk about you to heaven // i plan my days all around ya // planets orbit around ya'. it's so short but it talks about yearning and devotion in such a specific and hard-hitting way

it also works very well with a certain space au. 'i was lost till i found ya'? yeah.

3. futile devices by sufjan stevens (original version)

ah yes the song about how words fail when your feelings are too strong. in a story about characters whose feelings are so strong they literally develop a telepathic bond because they can't use their words. i am SORRY okay i love sufjan so so so much and age of adz is an incredible album and this song specifically creates a mood like no other does. this might be at the top of my spotify wrapped this year with how much i've listened to it and i adore the word choices in it and i am insane over it forever and always.

4. the bug collector by haley heyndericks

everything i write i write to spread our 'alex cares so much' agenda. i've done a tiny bit of director's commentary about him in the ao3 comments already but i will literally talk about him for hours if anyone will listen. the thing with alex in this fic is that he has never wanted anything without reaching for it with both hands. that's his modus operandi, which george correctly identifies (and incorrectly decides that alex not fighting for him means alex does not want him). BUT alex believes that he came on too strong when it was unwanted, thinks he has hurt george by displaying affection so directly and so he tries to tone down how intense he is as not to scare or hurt him further. still, he can't just Stop Loving him and defaults to acts of care that can be interpreted as more platonic (not really but that's what he thinks). he makes george avocado toast when he can't sleep, he skips his own debrief because he feels george's fear, he kisses his temple telepathically (god) when george is having a breakdown in the bathroom. he cares so much. in the words of haley heyndericks he must make him the perfect morning. he doesn't know how to do it any other way!

note also: alex saying 'you can be angry at the way i've expressed it but not at the feeling itself, george. i know you're not cruel enough for that' which is so important to me and which i can write an essay about because outward expressions of inner processes are The main theme of this fic and i have thought about this so much while writing. good god.

honorable mentions: flight risk by tommy lefroy (thee doomed from the start anthem! 'i wanted to be something you couldn't put down but i'm already gone' pleaseeeee), waltz right in by matt maeson (the second most listened to song in this whole playlist after futile devices, i'm so so so insane about it), gregory alan isakov's whole discography (very very galex coded!! gregory what a legend you are)

[shiningwonderland]

Reiji Kotobuki (All Star)

Translator: Belen (Twitter: reiharus)

Proofreader: Raine (Twitter: amagiyas)

Editors: Mae (Twitter: itoshikimaegirl), Noemi (Twitter: dreaminbeyond)

Chapter Two — Melancholic, Lonely Boy

Ryuya Hyuga: Hey, what’s up, Haruka? You don’t seem well. Are you tired from being Reiji pushing you around?

Haruka Nanami: No, it’s not that….

It's early November, about two weeks after the unit meeting.

In the end, Kotobuki-senpai took his words back by saying: “Just kidding! Nyahahahaha!”

After all of that, as Kotobuki-senpai’s partner, I’m still in charge of composing his songs.

In the meantime, in order to learn, I've been helping the ever-busy Kotobuki-senpai with his work but....

Haruka Nanami: Kotobuki-senpai is busier than I thought….

He consistently appears in three variety shows and one radio show a week.

He’s starring in three dramas and will soon appear in two more.

There are also interviews and photo shoots in between all of that. Moreover, weekly and fashion magazines, as well as other serializations.

On top of that, he also helps out his family who runs a lunch box shop.

It’s quite tough.

It’s very difficult to meet up at every location to make deliveries.

And in the midst of it all, I’m still composing the unit song.

No matter where I look, things are busy, but Kotobuki-senpai is always making preparations in between locations.

I have to do my best too!

Ryuya Hyuga: Yeah, his adaptability is very effective. He’s useful everywhere, has been in the business for a while, and has a lot of connections.

Haruka Nanami: Yes.

Ryuya Hyuga: Well, that usually means being a jack of all trades and master of none. As a student, he would get good grades but didn’t have a specific selling point.

Ryuya Hyuga: His way of life is all scattered about, he acts like everybody’s friend…. I started thinking that he was a fool….

Ryuya Hyuga; I think that even if it limits your options, it's better to find your main skill.

Hyuga-sensei sighs as if he's worried.

Haruka Nanami: Hyuga-sensei… you knew Kotobuki-senpai during his student days?

Ryuya Hyuga: Hm? Yeah. At that time, Saotome Academy was already a very important training school for the office. Even after graduating, students still dropped by every now and then.

Ryuya Hyuga: I was also his instructor during the Master Course.

Haruka Nanami: What? Really?

Ryuya Hyuga: Yeah. He caused so much trouble. It was a real pain. He was friendly but had a habit of tagging along and not listening to what people had to say. He was selfish and clingy. Really, what a troublemaker.

Hehe, even as he says that, he looks happy remembering it.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, then, Sensei. Do you know Kei Otonami and Hibiki Katagiri?

Ryuya Hyuga: Yes, they were Reiji’s friends of course. They were always together and were known as "the foul-mouthed one," "the one with a bad personality," and "the dumb one."

The foul-mouthed one was Kei, the one with a bad personality was Hibiki, and the dumb one was Reiji.

Hyuga-sensei explains all of it meticulously.

It feels very refreshing to hear about a Kotobuki-senpai that I don’t know.

I knew he was older than me and had accumulated a lot of experience but....

The more I learn about him, the more I want to know.

Ryuya Hyuga: So, how do you know those guys?

Haruka Nanami: Actually, we met last month after a recording. They were having a meeting next to Senpai’s dressing room.

Ryuya Hyuga: I see. They seem to be doing fine.

Hyuga-sensei's eyes narrow.

Ryuya Hyuga: Those two were excellent. It’s a shame that incident happened, otherwise the four would still be at our agency....

Haruka Nanami: Incident?

After my question, Hyuga-sensei looks like he's said too much.

What incident did he mean?

And "the four" he just mentioned....

Haruka Nanami: So, Hyuga-sensei, about that….

Ryuya Hyuga: Nah, it’s nothing, please forget it.

Hyuga-sensei waves his hands in front of his face as if a little panicked.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… Okay….

Ryuya Hyuga: By the way, didn’t you come to pick up Reiji’s documents? You should get going. At this rate, you'll be late.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, that’s right!

Today, Kotobuki-senpai has been doing magazine shoots since morning.

Since he's busy with that, I made a promise to come pick up some materials from the office and bring them back for him.

I’ll be late if I don’t hurry!

Ryuya Hyuga: Hurry and go! Your partner is waiting for you all by himself.

Haruka Nanami: Right, I’m heading off now!

Ryuya Hyuga: And don’t spoil him too much! He’ll get carried away.

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

Hyuga-sensei sends me off as I rush out of the office with the documents.

Haruka Nanami: Ha… I made it somehow.

When I arrive at the studio, Kotobuki-senpai is still in the middle of shooting.

Cameraman: Well, Rei-chan, can you do three more poses?

Reiji Kotobuki: Eh? I’m tired~ Hold on, hold on~

Kotobuki-senpai pretends to collapse and people in the studio laugh.

Cameraman: Okay, how about we take a little break and then shoot the last three poses?

At those words, the studio collectively relaxes and the tired staff members sigh.

Haruka Nanami: Haha, that's just like Kotobuki-senpai.

Not much time has passed since I became his assistant.

After seeing him at so many locations, I've begun to notice how Kotobuki-senpai worries about everyone on site.

He’s always taking the initiative to make sure both the staff and entertainers can perform in their best condition.

If everyone is tired, he casually asks for a break.

That's one of Kotobuki-senpai's amazing traits that you wouldn't notice without paying attention.

But….

I’m still concerned about his words from last month: “You shouldn’t partner with me.”

Was that really a joke?

Reiji Kotobuki: Alrighty, Rei-chan is all charged up! Let’s do our best one last time, EY EY OOOH~!!

They fix his makeup, the stylist checks him over again, and the lights are adjusted.

It only takes Kotobuki-senpai standing in front of the background for a pleasant wave of excitement to run through the studio.

Reiji Kotobuki: Now, take a photo of me looking handsome.

Cameraman: But doesn’t Rei-chan always look handsome?

Reiji Kotobuki: Ah, that’s right, I forgot.

Cameraman: Okay, let’s go.

With every click of the shutter, Kotobuki-senpai changes his poses and facial expression, turning towards the camera.

Cameraman: Yes, this is good.

Cameraman: Could we have your eyes look away from the camera? You might lose some appeal, though.

Reiji Kotobuki: Well, that could be okay for the concept we're going for. It'll be good if we introduce a coolness factor. How about this sidelong glance?

Cameraman: Ah, that’s good, let’s go with that.

They check the photos on the monitors and make quick corrections.

Seeing him like this, Kotobuki-senpai looks so cool….

He’s usually fun and gentle, but he’ll make firm decisions when it’s important.

Being with him is so much fun and I’ve learned a lot. I’d like to stay as Kotobuki-senpai’s partner forever.

I really want to improve at having conversations and communicating with the staff, so I’ll follow his example.

I continue watching Kotobuki-senpai with these thoughts in my mind, but then I get the impression that he sees me and smiles at me.

What’s this, my heart is pounding….

And my face seems hot…. Did I catch a cold?

I'm just putting my hand against my forehead when I hear the cameraman’s resounding voice.

Cameraman: Well, okay. That’s a wrap! Rei-chan, good job.

Reiji Kotobuki: Good job, everyone!

Kotobuki-senpai bows his head quickly and the staff applauds the successful end of the photo shoot.

Haruka Nanami: Good morn—

Reiji Kotobuki: Morning! Huh? Have you caught a cold? Your face is all red.

Once the shooting is finished, Senpai greets me by waving his hands and coming over.

Haruka Nanami: No, I guess it’s different from a cold….

Reiji Kotobuki: Don’t tell me you’re crushing on me after seeing how cool I looked back there~?

Haruka Nanami: What? T-that’s….

Reiji Kotobuki: Nah, just joking, joking. But since you were here all this time, did you see that heated gaze?

Kotobuki-senpai smirks.

Ehh, it seems he was watching me.

Haruka Nanami: S-sorry… I was curious. It was wonderful.

Reiji Kotobuki: What are you apologizing for? Ah, by the way, you went for that errand, right? Nice job.

Ah, that’s right.

Haruka Nanami: I’m sorry for being late.

I hurriedly bow.

Reiji Kotobuki: It’s alright; you made it in time. It’s just that because you’re always so fast, I was surprised that you took your time.

Reiji Kotobuki: Could it be that a certain somebody at the office was speaking ill of me?

Kotobuki-senpai looks at me with a grin.

Select the phrase!

S-sorry. But… (+20 Love)

Haruka Nanami: S-sorry. But… it wasn't anything bad. Rather, Hyuga-sensei told me some cute things about you and I couldn’t help it….

Reiji Kotobuki: Is that so? Well~ I have a good relationship with Ryuya-senpai, yup!

Haruka Nanami: You seem really close.

Reiji Kotobuki: But Ryuya-senpai is not honest at all~ I’m sure he kept saying stuff like how I was disobedient and annoyingly clingy, right?

Haruka Nanami: Yes. ... Waaah!

I realize what I've said after nodding.

Reiji Kotobuki: Pffft, hahahahaha!

I said the truth without realizing it!

Reiji Kotobuki: Yeeeah Kouhai-chan, you really can’t lie, hm. Very cute.

Kotobuki-senpai looks at me, amused.

This is… so embarrassing….

Reiji Kotobuki: Well, Ryuya-senpai knows lots about me after all….

Haruka Nanami: I heard you were in the Master Course together.

Reiji Kotobuki: That's right. At that time, Ryuya-senpai had just debuted and we would hang out and have fun together.

Reiji Kotobuki: But, of course, he also took care of me. He used to give me advice and cheered me up when I was feeling down.

Haruka Nanami: I see.

Kotobuki-senpai talks about his memories.

Staff: Kotobuki-san, since we’re done here, could we please ask you to leave?

It seems like so much time has passed that a staff member had to ask us to leave.

Kotobuki-senpai replies airily and starts packing up.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai, here are the materials.

I hand Kotobuki-senpai the script I picked up at the office.

Reiji Kotobuki: Thanks. Let’s see… In the next “Welcome to Idol Las Vegas!”.... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Kotobuki-senpai screams after flipping through the pages of the script.

Haruka Nanami: What, what’s wrong?

Reiji Kotobuki: WHAT’S THIS? “Idol Singing Competition! Shining Agency Battle: Reiji Kotobuki vs. Ai Mikaze”!!

He spreads the script wide open in front of me.

I take a look and it seems like they have to prepare new songs and compete with them.

Haruka Nanami: This is tough…. And you’re both in the unit song for the Christmas live.

Reiji Kotobuki: Well there’s that, but that’s not the worst part.

Reiji Kotobuki: My opponent is Ai Mikaze! The guy that people call “machine-like perfect,” that Ai-Ai!!

Reiji Kotobuki: And it’s one-on-one, so there’s no way out…. Do you know what this means?!

Haruka Nanami: But your singing is very good too... and your performances are gorgeous. I guess even I’d like to see it….

Kotobuki-senpai interrupts me and complains while making a very serious face.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ah~ You don't understand. There’s also the Song Festival in March, right?

Reiji Kotobuki: The result of the competition could greatly affect our chances at the festival. It’s a pretty big problem.

Haruka Nanami: Thinking about it like that, it really is a lot of pressure….

Reiji Kotobuki: And it would probably be more exciting for the audience if I were to lose on the show.... What a tough decision.

Kotobuki-senpai is always thinking about the big picture and how to act in accordance with that. He doesn't think about himself, but rather how he can benefit the most people.

Haruka Nanami: It's just the program plan, so maybe Mikaze-senpai will attend with the intention of enjoying himself?

Reiji Kotobuki: It’s Ai-Ai we’re talking about! Always perfect, always full power! He'll come to win against me for sure.

Haruka Nanami: That’s true, Mikaze-senpai is very rational so he will come with a strategy that allows him to win.

I wanted to make Senpai feel better even if it was just a bit, but it looks like it backfired.

Kotobuki-senpai closes the script.

Reiji Kotobuki: There’s no chance.... Unless we manage to turn the tables while keeping the flavor of the variety show, this is impossible.

Kotobuki-senpai holds his head and shakes it left to right.

Staff: Um, Kotobuki-san… the next session is about to begin soon so….

And so, we are driven out of the studio by the staff.

Reiji Kotobuki: Well, we’ve got a lot of time until the next job begins, what should we do~?

I look at the schedule. The next job, which begins at night, is a recording at a music TV station.

Kotobuki-senpai heads towards the parking lot.

Haruka Nanami: Oh, Senpai, you came by car today?

Reiji Kotobuki: Oh yeah, I returned to my family's home last night and came straight from there. Isn’t it cute?

Kotobuki-senpai points to his car.

It’s a lovely car with a round shape.

If I had to compare it to anything, it looks like an insect, a beetle....

The bright green car is parked as if waiting for its master.

Kotobuki-senpai stops to think for a moment beside the car and taps it.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ah… If you’d like, we can go early and listen to your song. We’ve been neglecting it recently, huh?

Haruka Nanami: Oh, is that all right?

Reiji Kotobuki: It’s a bit sudden, but do you have a music player?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I carry it around so that we can listen at any time.

Reiji Kotobuki: Okay, okay. That’s the spirit. This is perfect for me too, so let's head there together by car.

Kotobuki-senpai takes the car keys from his pocket and unlocks it.

Reiji Kotobuki: Alright, get in, get in~~

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes!

Kotobuki-senpai opens the passenger door.

I’m a bit nervous because it’s my first time riding in his car.

Reiji Kotobuki: Come on, don’t be nervous. I’m pretty good at driving. Or should I escort you?

Haruka Nanami: Ah, that’s…

I'm really just confused because I'd never ridden a car alone with a man, but like he's unsatisfied with my reaction....

Reiji Kotobuki: Now, my lady. Welcome to my car. I’ll become your feet and take you anywhere you desire.

He gently places one hand on my waist and takes my hand with the other to gently guide me sit down on the passenger seat.

This behavior makes my heart race all of a sudden.

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you very much….

Kotobuki-senpai closes the door and sits down in the driver’s seat.

Reiji Kotobuki: Don’t forget to put on your seat belt. All aboard~!! Beep, beep!!

Kotobuki-senpai starts the engine and steps on the accelerator pedal.

Like he said, he's very good at driving and often overtakes other cars.

It’s said that men who drive are cool, but this seems to be a different charm than usual.

Reiji Kotobuki: Really though, it’s been a while since I’ve had a girl in my passenger seat~ And such a cute one too! I can show off my skills. So, how’s my driving?

Haruka Nanami: I think you’re very skilled. You're also careful. It feels gentle.

Reiji Kotobuki: ... Kouhai-chan, uhm…. Thanks. I’ll just say thanks for now.

Reiji Kotobuki: But you know, don't you think you should butt in there? Don't you want to know?

Haruka Nanami: …?

Reiji Kotobuki: The…. Look, what I said about the passenger seat before.

Haruka Nanami: Ooh, about how it’s been a while since you’ve had a woman here?

Haruka Nanami: I was surprised since you are such a wonderful person.

Reiji Kotobuki: Didn’t see that one coming… haha. What a shame. It’s usually….

Haruka Nanami: What?

Reiji Kotobuki: What kind of people I’ve given a ride to…. What kinds of places we went to…. What kinds of things we did....

Kotobuki-senpai turns his left hand and points behind the passenger's seat.

Reiji Kotobuki: Stuff like that, aren’t you curious? Not even a bit?

Kotobuki-senpai looks me in the eye, his gentle smile making my heart skip a beat.

Haruka Nanami: S-Senpai!! W-watch the road!

Reiji Kotobuki: Yes, yes. Sorry, sorry. I guess you’re pure~ I wonder where I put my purity~

Reiji Kotobuki: By the way, since romance is forbidden for idols, the only women who have been in that seat are my mother and my big sister.

Saying that happily, he looks forward and continues to drive.

That behavior and the way he acted as my escort before, it all comes so naturally to him….

Before me is a senpai I don’t know. It makes me feel a bit of a gap in our maturity, as if somebody like me can't address him properly.

Senpai’s past. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.

When I become aware of that, I feel a slight pain in my chest.

Reiji Kotobuki: Haaa…. But still…. The song battle against Ai-Ai....

Kotobuki-senpai sighs as he remembers.

He detests the idea of competing against Mikaze-senpai that much.

I have to act as his partner and encourage him.

Select the phrase!

Since it’s Kotobuki-senpai, it’ll be fine! (+30 Love)

Haruka Nanami: It’s you we’re talking about, so it’ll be alright. I’m sure you can do it!!

Reiji Kotobuki: Wha...? What makes you think that? My opponent is Ai-Ai! The one who can sing almost anything from enka to rap!

Haruka Nanami: Oh, is that so?

What a catchphrase!

Reiji Kotobuki: Really, it may sound like I’m exaggerating, but his repertoire is enormous and his technique is ultra-leveled.

Haruka Nanami: But you have your wonderful expressiveness! I love your songs!!

Reiji Kotobuki: That so? That’d be great and all but aren’t you spoiling me? Ryuya-senpai's gonna scold you.

Kotobuki-senpai looks at me happily.

Haruka Nanami: No, rather than a compliment, it’s how I truly feel.

Reiji Kotobuki: Thanks! If it’s Kouhai-chan saying it, it must be true, right? Alright! I’ll do my best so that I can show you something good!

Haruka Nanami: Yes! I support you!!

Reiji Kotobuki: Okaaay then, let’s defeat Ai-Ai! EY EY OOOH!! OUCH!!

Kotobuki-senpai raises his fist and hits the roof of the car.

Haruka Nanami: A-are you alright?!

He shakes his hand to make the pain go away like nothing happened.

That sounded very painful, but it seems he’s okay now!

We arrive at the TV station safely and are able to use the dressing room since it's open.

Haruka Nanami: Okay, let me prepare.

I turn on my laptop and start the music production software.

Haruka Nanami: Please listen.

Kotobuki-senpai nods and I play the demo.

SONG: "QUARTET NIGHT" (S RANK)

Reiji Kotobuki: BRILLIANT!! Wonderful!!

Kotobuki-senpai raises his hands and stands up from the chair.

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you very much.

Reiji Kotobuki: It keeps getting better and better! At this rate, you’re going to knock me out!!

Haruka Nanami: Yes.

I’m glad, it seems like it was a big success!

After listening to the song, I head to a studio with Kotobuki-senpai for some recording.

It's there I recognize two figures across the hallway….

Reiji Kotobuki: Oops, I’m seeing you guys a lot lately…. Could it be that you keep following me? It's hard being famous, huh~

Otonami-san and Katagiri-san.

Hibiki Katagiri: That’s some confidence. I’m jealous of such positivity. Your little junior looks surprised too.

Haruka Nanami: Otonami-san, Katagiri-san, good morning.

Their gazes silently collide and I feel stuck between them.

Although I greet them, they act as if I'm invisible.

Kei Otonami: After the other day, I looked you up.

Ignoring my greeting, Otonami-san speaks to me.

Haruka Nanami: What….

Kei Otonami: Although you passed the graduation audition at Saotome Academy without a partner, you have been unable to debut for a year and a half. If you don’t produce good results at the Christmas Live and the Music Festival, you will be fired.

Haruka Nanami: ….

It’s the truth, but once again my mind goes blank and I can’t say anything.

Kei Otonami: Even so, you seem very relaxed, as if you have zero problems.

Haruka Nanami: S-sorry….

Reiji Kotobuki: Wait, wait, are you bullying my Kouhai-chan?

Otonami-san stares quietly after being interrupted by Kotobuki-senpai.

His eyes are cold and sharp, as if they could stab their opponent at any moment.

I have never seen eyes that could send chills down a spine like that.

Kei Otonami: I’m not. I just stated the truth. Was it wrong?

Hibiki Katagiri: But you sound so scary…. Merciless as usual. By the way, did you get the script?

Reiji Kotobuki: Script…? Which one are you talking about? I have so much work I get a lot of them.

Hibiki Katagiri: Of course the one for “Welcome to Idol Las Vegas!! Idol Singing Battle!”

Reiji Kotobuki: Could it be…?

Kotobuki-senpai pulls the script from his bag.

When I look at the script from beside Kotobuki-senpai, I see the names of Otonami-san and Katagiri-san written in the credits.

Producer, Hibiki Katagiri.

Music director, Kei Otonami….

This….

Reiji Kotobuki: Well, this new form of bullying isn’t very mature. Is it that fun to tease me?

Hibiki Katagiri: What? We’re just interested in Ai Mikaze. You think so too, right? That Ai Mikaze and Aine are related in some way.

Reiji Kotobuki: ….

Kotobuki-senpai falls silent.

Related? What does that mean?

Haruka Nanami: Um….

Kei Otonami: Kotobuki-kun, have you explained to her properly? About what kind of person you are, and how you managed to stay alive in this world. Not saying anything is basically deception. It’s like saying you won’t lose if you don’t fight.

Reiji Kotobuki: Is that so? All that talk about undeserved victories, not that I dislike them.

Kei Otonami: I do. It seems like we don’t have the same opinions on life.

Then, Otonami-san turns to me.

Kei Otonami: It would be better not to choose a coward like him as a partner. This is my warning to you.

Haruka Nanami: I… don’t think that way!

I deny his statement with a loud voice and as firmly as possible.

Kotobuki-senpai looks at me, surprised.

But I can’t keep quiet anymore!

Haruka Nanami: K-Kotobuki-senpai is always kind and takes care of everyone! He always says what he has to. He’s not a coward!

After that, everyone goes quiet for a bit.

Kei Otonami: You shouldn’t speak like that when you don’t know a thing.

Haruka Nanami: It’s true I barely know Senpai, but....

Kei Otonami: Why do you think he hasn’t had a partner for so long?

Otonami-san asks abruptly.

Haruka Nanami: That’s….

I’m desperately trying to think of an answer....

Haruka Nanami: Sorry, I don’t know.

Finding the answer to this isn’t easy, since I don’t have enough information.

I try to think about it but I can’t come up with anything.

Kei Otonami: You understand nothing. He’s a man that lives without a care in the world. And you don’t get that you’re in a blessed position too….

Reiji Kotobuki: Stop right there! This is between you and me, leave her alone.

Haruka Nanami: Kotobuki-senpai….

Reiji Kotobuki: If I haven’t told her anything, it’s because I did not want to get her involved. I’ll explain everything properly to her from now on.

Otonami-san stares at us for a while.

And then walks away without saying anything.

Hibiki Katagiri: Hey, Kei, wait! You too, try to understand it a little.

Katagiri-san sighs as he says that.

Reiji Kotobuki: Even if I tried to understand, it wouldn’t make a difference, would it?

Hibiki Katagiri: That attitude only provokes him.... I’ll leave the recording to you. You have a chance to fight with Aine again.

Reiji Kotobuki: ….

Hibiki Katagiri: Sorry about that. Please don’t worry about it.

After saying that to me, Katagiri-san follows after Otonami-san.

Reiji Kotobuki: Why has it come to this…. You guys aren’t the only ones who are in pain.

Kotobuki-senpai leans against the wall quietly.

Reiji Kotobuki: I’m sorry for getting you involved again! Seriously those two, always with those indiscriminate attacks.

Haruka Nanami: I’m fine, um….

Assistant Director: Kotobuki-san, rehearsal is about to start! Are you ready?

Just as I'm trying to reply, the AD comes for Kotobuki-senpai.

Amidst the fight, time apparently passed quickly.

Reiji Kotobuki: I will explain properly when this is over. Also, thank you for defending me, it made me happy.

Kotobuki-senpai smiles a bit and heads to the studio.

Then, as expected from Kotobuki-senpai, he finishes recording as if nothing had happened.

Haruka Nanami: Good job! Are you feeling alright?

Reiji Kotobuki: Yes, good job! It’s not so much that I can't handle it. Want to go out for dinner?

Kotobuki-senpai claps his hands together.

I was going to decline, as the incident from before made me quite tired….

Reiji Kotobuki: Ah, by the way! Might as well bring you to a nice place! I’ve been there recently, it was pretty good.

Haruka Nanami: If it's alright, I’ll be happy to go!

If it makes Kotobuki-senpai so cheerful, I’ll follow him anywhere.

Reiji Kotobuki: Yaaay!! Let’s go, go!

Kotobuki-senpai takes my wrist and we head to the parking lot.

Reiji Kotobuki: Okay, now, cheeers~~

Kotobuki-senpai takes me to a wonderful place for important people in the industry.

At the entrance of the underground parking lot there is a strong guard, as you can’t enter without a membership card or a referral.

He's allowed in just by saying his name and showing his face.

Senpai’s influence can be felt from how politely they treat him.

You can enter directly by taking an elevator from the basement, so that you don’t have to mix with the general public.

We contacted them in advance, so they lead us to a private room as soon as we arrive. The food and drinks have been prepared as well.

Reiji Kotobuki: So, do you like it? Feel free to eat to your heart’s content, it’s my treat.

Haruka Nanami: Yes! Thank you so much! I didn’t know there were places like this.

It's like we’re in another world.

The atmosphere and level are just so different from the places I frequent, everything feels so new to me.

I guess these are the so-called “industry things” that people talk about.

Reiji Kotobuki: Hahaha, that’s a nice reaction. You’ve had your mouth open the whole time.

When Kotobuki-senpai points that out, I close my mouth instinctively.

Reiji Kotobuki: Bringing you here was a good idea. So let me surprise you a bit more~

He presses a button on the wall….

Haruka Nanami: Waaah!

The large monitor in the room turns on and familiar images start flowing on the screen.

Haruka Nanami: There’s karaoke too!

The latest music videos are playing on the screen.

Reiji Kotobuki: Yeaaah! That’s right! Surprised? Since Kouhai-chan likes music so much... And on top of that, we can practice for the singing battle!

Kotobuki-senpai reaches for the hidden storage in the wall. He takes out a microphone and maracas, then stands by.

Reiji Kotobuki: It’s been a while since I’ve done karaoke~ So, what do you want to sing?

Haruka Nanami: Wha—me? But that’s….

Reiji Kotobuki: Eeeh, but this is for you, right? Come on, come on.

Kotobuki-senpai shoves the microphone at me.

Well, it seems like I can’t refuse.

What should I sing….

Select the phrase!

Idol song (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: Then, of course it’ll be….

Since I’m with Kotobuki-senpai, I choose a classic idol song.

Reiji Kotobuki: AN IDOL SONG IS COOOOOOMING!

He shakes the maracas as the intro starts.

Reiji Kotobuki: GO! GO! GO! GO! KOUHAI-CHAAAAN!!

Waaah, he's even doing calls, thank you so much.

And when I finish singing….

Reiji Kotobuki: Kouhai-chan, that was incredibly cute! How about debuting as a unit with me?

He snaps his fingers and winks at me.

Reiji Kotobuki: Kouhai-chan, you’re so good~!

Haruka Nanami: Aah, thank you very much.

Reiji Kotobuki: Alright, now it’s my turn~

Kotobuki-senpai plays the song.

A sparkling intro emanates from the speaker.

Reiji Kotobuki: You must not fall in love with me, my lady.

Kotobuki-senpai squeezes the microphone and starts singing the idol song.

He performs perfectly as if in front of a camera.

Even the words at the beginning sounded like a part of the actual song.

Haruka Nanami: Whoaaa….

Kotobuki-senpai is sparkling and dazzling…. And having so much fun as well.

He’s singing to me alone under the glittering mirror ball.

I forget to shake the maracas because I can’t stop staring at him.

Reiji Kotobuki: Thank you!!

He throws in a blown kiss at the end.

E-enchanting!

Haruka Nanami: K-Kotobuki-senpai, you were so cool!! Please sing some more!!

Reiji Kotobuki: Ah, really? You're making me blush~

He chooses the next song.

The next one is a very sweet love song.

Reiji Kotobuki: Hold me… tonight.

Murmuring that, Kotobuki-senpai’s mellow voice fills the room.

He gives me a gentle shoulder embrace to go with it.

Soon after that, he begins singing, and I can hear his breaths.

Accompanied by a heart-wrenching gaze.

Him fixing his eyes on me makes my body heat up….

Reiji Kotobuki: What’s up, your face is all red. Can it be… you’re embarrassed?

When he finishes singing, Kotobuki-senpai looks at my face as if suspecting something.

Haruka Nanami: No, it’s just…. You’re lovely….

Reiji Kotobuki: Really? Well then, tonight I’ll do a recital just for you.

Kotobuki-senpai then gives me my very own recital and sings until I'm satisfied.

Aaah, this is true bliss!

After singing for a while, we eat dinner while making small talk.

I wonder how much time has passed….

Suddenly the conversation stops and silence follows for a bit.

Reiji Kotobuki: Well… about what happened before.

As if he has been looking for a chance to speak, Kotobuki-senpai makes up his mind and says that.

What happened before….

Haruka Nanami: The things Otonami-san said?

Kotobuki-senpai nods at my question.

Reiji Kotobuki: Yes…. Have you ever heard about an idol disappearance incident?

Haruka Nanami: No, I haven't.

Reiji Kotobuki: I see. The thing is, it happened long ago: a new idol from the Shining Agency disappeared….

Kotobuki-senpai tells me the story.

Long ago, an idol that had graduated from Saotome Academy disappeared while he was filming a movie.

He was an excellent idol and seemed to be very involved with his work.

Apparently the role he was playing was very mentally demanding. It was said that might have been the cause of the disappearance.

Although it was reported in the news once, it’s treated as a taboo topic in the entertainment industry because no-one found out the truth, and it faded away.

It seems like very few people know about it nowadays.

Such a thing happened….

Haruka Nanami: Okay, but what does it have to do with what Otonami-san said…?

Reiji Kotobuki: That idol was my best friend, and also his partner.

What….

I look at him, shocked.

Haruka Nanami: But… what does his disappearance have to do with you?

At my question, Kotobuki-senpai lowers his eyes.

Reiji Kotobuki: He made a phone call… right before he disappeared….

He says that as if he has decided to open up.

Reiji Kotobuki: I…. Right at that time I was doing my debut audition…. I couldn't pick up the phone…. No, it wasn’t just that I couldn't pick it up. I threw myself into my own things. I didn’t realize that my best friend was hurting. Even though he called several times, my top priority was myself back then. Even though he was going through so much, I didn't notice. I did something terrible, and by the time I realized, he wasn’t there anymore… I couldn’t help him at all....

Kotobuki-senpai’s expression becomes clouded.

So that’s what happened….

Otonami-san left the agency out of remorse for not being able to help his partner.

Katagiri-san had an argument with the president and quit as well. He also stopped composing.

Reiji Kotobuki: Even now, those two do not think well of me surviving in the agency. There’s no helping it if they think I sacrificed my best friend for my own success.

He bites his lip.

So that’s… what happened….

The disappearance of his best friend….

I look at Kotobuki-senpai's face as he's facing down, looking pained.

Haruka Nanami: Could that person be Aine-san?

Reiji Kotobuki: Yes, Aine Kisaragi.

He then teaches me how you write it with the kanji for “February” and “love sound.”

Ah… but….

Haruka Nanami: What did they mean by you can “fight with Aine”?

I remember Katagiri-san’s words.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ai-Ai looks exactly like Aine. The face, the voice….

Haruka Nanami: What? Mikaze-senpai?

Reiji Kotobuki: I was surprised when I saw Ai-Ai for the first time. But they’re not the same age, and I don't think they can be brothers…. Ai-Ai refrained from media exposure until not so long ago as well, so they didn’t know about him either. I guess they’re curious since Ai-Ai and me were announced to be in the same unit at that Christmas Live press conference. They don’t know anything about Ai-Ai, so I think they came back because they think that there’s a connection.

Haruka Nanami: And they made it so that you would sing with him?

Reiji Kotobuki: Probably, and they’ll get a better chance of getting in contact with Ai-Ai as well.

So Otonami-san and Katagiri-san made a plan like that.

Reiji Kotobuki: And also, since Ai-Ai looks like Aine, by making me confront him they force me to not forget about the past.

Haruka Nanami: But I don’t think it was all Kotobuki-senpai’s fault.

You can't erase the past, but I think it’s sad to look for people to blame, or to blame each other for it.

Reiji Kotobuki: Well, that’s the story. I’m sorry for not having told you before. Must have made you feel bad.

Kotobuki-senpai raises his face as he says that.

Reiji Kotobuki: Do you understand? That's why I said it'd be better to not have me as a partner. I’m a bad person.

Haruka Nanami: ….

That’s not true.

I want to tell him, but because I feel like I can’t comfort him, I instinctively shut my mouth.

Because he's hurting and blaming himself that much even now.

Reiji Kotobuki: I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m scared of getting too involved. I guess it’s easier said than done. My Kouhai-chan’s life is on the line at the moment. That responsibility weighs very heavily on me.

Kotobuki-senpai stares at me.

Reiji Kotobuki: I was happy that you chose me as your partner, but I want you to be happy. It'd be better for you to break your partnership with such a weak and irresponsible man.

If I don’t respond to that somehow, he'll go away.

That thought makes me reply honestly from my heart.

Select the phrase!

I'll accept everything (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: I'll accept everything. Of course, there are a lot of things I don’t know yet…. But I want to understand you, little by little. That's why I want to spend more time with you. I want you to sing my songs. My partner is the person right in front of me. It's you, Kotobuki-senpai.

If I can’t know everything about the past, I want to believe in the person in front of me in the present.

Reiji Kotobuki: It seems like you won’t back down no matter what I say. Really, Kouhai-chan is more honest and stubborn that I thought. It’s innocent in a cute way, like a child that doesn’t know anything. But you have to know that it’s dangerous too. What kind of things can you accept? What kind of me? … Let me teach you.

Kotobuki-senpai, who's sitting next to me, holds my shoulders and pushes me down to the sofa.

Haruka Nanami: …!

Even though he only pins my wrists down lightly, I can't move an inch.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai!

Resistance is futile. His face gets closer and closer, to the point that our lips are about to touch.

Haruka Nanami: No!

I close my eyes instinctively.

Reiji Kotobuki: See? I told you not to say those things so easily.

When I open my eyes, I see his usual kind smile.

Reiji Kotobuki: Did I scare you? I’m sorry. But you know, be careful not to step on things that shouldn’t be stepped on. Was that helpful to you in some way?

Kotobuki-senpai gently helps me get up and smooths out the wrinkles in my clothes.

Haruka Nanami: Yes….

I'm surprised the usual atmosphere is back, but now I’m a little relieved.

I wonder if he was actually angry.

But I feel there is a gap between us.

Maybe it’s always been there and I just didn’t notice….

It seemed like he was warning me not to get any closer.

Reiji Kotobuki: But whoa, look at the time! If it gets later and someone sees us it’ll become a scandal! Alright, let’s head home.

Kotobuki-senpai pats my back as he says so.

We leave the building and get into his car.

Senpai drives quietly while I watch the night passing by the window.

Inside this quiet car....

I feel awkward when I remember what happened before.

But I wonder if I’m the only one who's concerned….

While I'm thinking that, I take a glance at Senpai, who is smiling softly.

He looks the same as always.

The car comes to a slow stop as it approaches a traffic light.

As soon as he stops, he notices my gaze and turns towards me.

Reiji Kotobuki: Kouhai-chan, do you have someone who's so special, that you feel you could throw everything away for them?

Kotobuki-senpai asks me all of a sudden.

Haruka Nanami: What?

A special person…?

Haruka Nanami: That….

I'm a little surprised, but slowly open my mouth….

Select the phrase!

I do (+20 Love)

Haruka Nanami: … I do.

I answer and my cheeks start feeling hot.

Reiji Kotobuki: Oh… surprising. They must be very happy. Say… what kind of person are they?

Haruka Nanami: N-not telling!

For some reason Kotobuki-senpai’s name is floating around my head.

Reiji Kotobuki: So desperate. I’m going to be jealous… just kidding.

Haruka Nanami: … Please don’t make fun of me.

Kotobuki-senpai says "sorry" with a wink while shrugging lightly.

The car slowly starts moving again.

Reiji Kotobuki: You know why I asked? Aine was very special to those two. So… they haven't been able to sort out their feelings to this very day, and that turns them against me. When I think of it like that, I feel like I understand them a little. And seeing you doing your best rubs them the wrong way.

He lets out a chuckle.

Reiji Kotobuki: Having a special someone is a very happy feeling, but there’s also a risk of losing them.

Those words seem heavy on Kotobuki-senpai, whose profile looks sad.

Reiji Kotobuki: I've also been worried that even the Kouhai-chan I've been with all this time will turn on me too.

Haruka Nanami: Hm…. Do you….

Reiji Kotobuki: Hm? What’s wrong?

Haruka Nanami: Senpai…. Do you have a special person?

I ask boldly.

After a bit of silence….

Reiji Kotobuki: Haha, let’s see… I do, I think.

Haruka Nanami: That’s….

The moment I look at him, he steps on the brake and the car stops before the front gates of the dorms.

Reiji Kotobuki: Hm, what a shame, time is up! Tune in for more next week~ Joking.

Kotobuki-senpai grins and pokes my forehead with his index finger.

Our long day has come to a close.

Once I'm in my room, I take a shower and lie on my bed, my hair still somewhat damp.

Usually, no matter how late it gets, the days I meet Senpai, I end up working on the song, but today I feel like resting.

So much has happened, maybe I'm a little confused.

Senpai’s past. And also the exciting drive and the dinner.

Every time I think back on it, my heart beats fast and I get nervous.

All I can think about is Kotobuki-senpai….

Haruka Nanami: Who is his important person?

I can’t come up with an answer. I don’t know, no matter how much I think about it.

And without an answer, I fall into a deep sleep at some point.

The next morning, I'm woken up by a call from the president.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ah, Kouhai-chan, good job yesterdaaay~! Did you sleep well?

Haruka Nanami: Oh? You’re here too?

I find Kotobuki-senpai at the office.

Reiji Kotobuki: Yeah, I got a call from Shiny-san out of the blue. I’m still a bit sleepy, to be honest….

Kotobuki-senpai rubs his eyes.

Shining Saotome: MORNING, EVERYBODY! I appreciate you coming early, YO!

The door bangs open and the president appears.

Maybe because it's so early in the morning, but I'm not startled by the sudden appearance.

Shining Saotome: Now, now, let’s get to the point!!

The president picks up the envelope that's on the desk.

Shining Saotome: This arrived at the office late yesterday night!

The president reaches into the envelope and gives us a piece of paper.

Haruka Nanami: What… what is this?!

Shining Saotome: As you can see, a proposal!!

At the top of the paper, the word "proposal" is written in large, gothic font.

Reiji Kotobuki: A proposal? From who—whoa?!

Haruka Nanami: Otonami-san...?

Shining Saotome: ME remembers he was a very excellent composer YO.

The president sighs deeply.

Shining Saotome: If that thing hadn’t happened, he would have found success at our agency….

Seems like the president remembers Aine….

Written on the paper is….

PROPOSAL To the Shining Agency's President and Chief Executive Officer, Shining Saotome. I’m Kei Otonami, in charge of the planning of the singing competition in "Welcome to Idol Las Vegas!" Talents Mr. Reiji Kotobuki and Mr. Ai Mikaze, affiliated with your agency, will participate in this competition, which we plan to tie with the Song Festival. The composer affiliated with your agency, Ms. Haruka Nanami, will compose Mr. Reiji Kotobuki’s song. There is no need for Mr. Ai Mikaze’s song as I will compose it myself. The winner will have the advantage at the Song Festival with the votes from the audience. And the winning composer will be in charge of the unit song at the Christmas Live….

Haruka Nanami: So basically… Kotobuki-senpai and Mikaze-senpai compete in the singing battle and me and Otonami-san write the songs. And if Kotobuki-senpai loses, Otonami-san will make the song for the Christmas Live….

Shining Saotome: Yes! That’s right!! Great comprehension!

The president applauds.

Reiji Kotobuki: This is not the time for compliments at all. It's too late to bring this up, she has been working on the song for a while now.

Shining Saotome: Huhuhu, Mr. Kotobuki! I thought it was an interesting project so I’ve already given it the OK!! Competitions make for better results! It makes you more and more serious! Isn’t that right, Miss Nanami?

Haruka Nanami: Wha—? Um, yes!

I immediately respond when he calls my name, and he points at us with both of his hands and a big smile on his face.

Shining Saotome: YOU two! Fight your best with your song, YO!

As the words leave his mouth, the morning sun rises and reflects off the president’s sunglasses, gleaming.

Reiji Kotobuki: Wha—WHAAAT! WHY THIS!!

Kotobuki-senpai’s screams resound in the president’s office.

(Chapter End)

[groovesnjams]

7 / 50

"Fairlies" by Grian Chatten

MG:

In an embarrassing way that I can’t quite specify but recognize as very “me,” I don’t like really anything by the very well regarded Fontaines D.C., but I love frontman Grian Chatten’s debut solo album, which appears to be making this year end list and this year end list only. While I find Fontaines a depressing, predictable listen, “Fairlies” was an instant yes. Chatten’s voice is intoxicating – thick, heavy, and always threatening to go flat. The verses sound as if they’re being sung right into your ear from behind your shoulder, spine-tingling and vaguely threatening. The verses make a sharp aboutface, bleated and almost childish in their insistence of “no fair!” “Fairlies” rouses the spirit and the senses, it slinks into stillness and then whirls frantically out of control. I feel that Chatten would probably not be impressed with my love of just about anything with a ton of fiddle on it, and I get that impression from just how ancillary the fiddle is here. It saws around the song like a foregone conclusion but it’s never as much of an instrument as his voice is. This was a truly surprising standout record (the whole of Chaos for the Fly hangs together as a coherent project but no two songs sound alike or capture the same sentiment twice) from an unlikely source and I look very forward to the rest of what Chatten does. Hopefully I will live long enough to hear the full Gaelic folk album!

DV:

One of the biggest struggles modern parents like myself have is, how do you teach your children that fairies are not to be trusted? We're on generation four raised with cute, clumsy, disneyfied fae like those found in Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, and generation two who know Tinkerbell (one of disney's rare intentionally-problematic characters) mainly via solo movies where she's adventurous and loyal and voiced by Mae Whitman. Will our children cut down thorn trees without thinking twice? Will they see a fairy ring and assume it's somewhere to explore instead of avoid? We're very lucky that the current generation isn't already all bewitched and living under the local hills. So as someone who grew up with a healthy respect for fairies, in the sense that I read enough old stories to know I should never take them at their word or disturb their places, albeit not enough to ever stop secretly wishing I might meet one anyway, I am concerned for today's youth, including my own. Grian Chatten is not going to teach them for me, but can anyone actually counter the cultural juggernaut that is the disney industrial complex? I doubt it, which means I'm just happy to encounter the occasional pushback, however small, even if it's in a song like "Fairlies" that mostly has other things to do but takes a line or two to connect fairies to danger. The kids have to learn somehow. How else can we teach them if not with the oldest ways, with song?

[mashup-writing]

Somebody else by 1975 and it is sparkles-✨

It worked out well; Park Chaeyoung (Blackpink)

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Summary: Y/N and Rosé had decided to announce their relationship, but they were gonna be extra about it.

Requested? ☑

"I remember it all too well."

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It was the final part of Y/N's concert and while he's used to the feeling of thousands of eyes on him, what's going to follow was something that made him extremely nervous, which says a lot. Especially when he was counting on the audience for his plan to work.

At the start of his career, he had announced that he was a Transgender man on all of his social media platforms. An action that took a lot of guts, and and an action that drew a lot of attention to him. At the rising point of his career when he was questioned about it in an interview, his answer was something that made him well known figure within the industry.

--------------------------------------------------

"Now Y/N at the very beginning of your career, you told the world that you were a trans man. That must've taken extreme bravery on your part seeing as those people who are against your community- The LGBT community, can be downright nasty and ruthless in 'Expressing' their dislike. What mae you decide to do this so early on in your time in the spotlight?"

Y/N smiles in his seat, switching from a laid back posture to one that elegantly demands attention, his next words being the ones that made him an icon amongst allies and LGBT people alike. "I am an advocate of LGBT rights before I am an artist, at the very start of my career I wanted to make it clear that I didn't want bigots to be a part of my following or an avid listener of my music and while I'm a man who values my privacy, I value honesty and transparency just as much. So if you're someone who believes that transgender people are just 'Confused' or that they're a 'Crime' against nature? Then go ahead and consider me your worst nightmare."

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N had been sitting on a chair for quite a few moments now, holding a Q&A onstage before he stands up and decides to follow through with the first part of his plan. "Alright, now today's intermission, I'm going to do a cover of my most favorite song called 'Somebody Else by The 1975'. Oh and don't worry you guys, the Q&A will still continue after this cover." The stadium fills with loud screams and cheers from the people watching as he places his mic back on its stand and goes to pick up his electric guitar. The lights dim into a sunset red as the opening notes of the music fill out through the speakers, Y/N starts singing and playing his guitar as the crowd claps along to the beat.

At the start of the second verse, Y/N takes off his guitar and takes the mic off of the stand, walking back to the guitar stand, he puts the instrument down before walking back to the front of the stage and hyping the people up to sing along with him in the pre-chorus. The entrance platform that had sunk back down starts rising as a distinctly feminine voice fills the stadium at the start of the chorus. Y/N smiles widely as the stage screens show Rosé walking towards him, offering her hand. He takes it and raises their hands up, leading the Blackpink member into a twirl, the crowd has gone wild at this point and the duo are pretty sure that somebody or multiple people in the audiences are Blinks seeing the way they've started chanting Rosé's name even without Y/N introducing her beforehand.

The bridge part comes along and the two singers alternate their lines. When the instrumental hits, Rosé takes his hands and starts dancing along to the beat, dorkily smiling and roping the man into dancing along. When the final chorus comes, Y/N and Rosé sing together, motioning for the crowd to sing along and the stadium fills with the sounds of music and the combined voices of a chanting crowd.

The song comes to an end with loud cheers for the two vocalists who are now smiling widely while catching their breaths. Y/N offers his hand to Rosé and when she takes it, the two raise their hands and perform a bow. He lets go of her hand once they've come up from the bow, turning to face her before speaking. "May I introduce, Park Chaeyoung of Blackpink everyone."

The woman in question laughs, shaking her head before going to bow once again and waving to the crowd with both hands, Y/N decides to push his luck. "Also known as Rosé of Blackpink, or Rosie, or Foodsé, or Chipm-" He runs as she jokingly tries to swat at his shoulder.

The cheers continue and the two laugh with each other before Rosè speaks to the crowd. "So how did you guys like our cover?" She's answered with loud cheers and Y/N's manager signals at the two from behind the curtain, raising both his hands up. 10 minutes left, Y/N nods at him and smiles while Rosé turns her attention back to the crowd, he gives the singers a thumbs up with a dorky smile before taking his leave. Y/N shakes his head in humor.

"I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for both me and Y/N over here when I say that we're happy to see you guys loved it." Y/N turns to Rosé to agree with her statement. Y/N speaks into the mic saying that he and Rosé will spend the last ten minutes of the concert for the Q&A. The following minutes fly by with questions aimed at Y/N, questions aimed at Rosé as well as questions aimed at both come in droves, until Y/N announce that the next question will be the last one before the event comes to an end and they have to start saying goodbye. Multiple people raise their hand, and he leaves it up to Rosé to pick who gets to ask the final question. She gives her mic to a girl in the front row, and the girl states her question.

"How did you come up with the idea to have Rosé make a special appearance for a cover? Going by your latest Instagram posts before this album dropped, it seemed like you guys were writing songs together. So we were really hyped for a collab." The fan hands the mic back to Rosé who smiles at Y/N as he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what's to come next. The Western singer brings his mic up to his lips to answer.

"There's a pretty good reason for this cover actually. 'Somebody Else' is a song that holds special meaning for the both of us, besides being our favorite song." Y/N motion for Rosé to take the lead, and she steps closer to him before speaking. "There was a point in me and Y/N's life that we didn't know where we stood. It a point we could sort of compare to the kid's game: Tag." She looks over to the man beside her, silently asking if he wants to back out of it. Instead Y/N takes her hand, interlocks their fingers and squeezes. Go on, I'm ready.

"Long story short is that I was hung up and broken hearted over this person and he was hung up over me." Collective gasps resound through out the stadium. After all, the only thing they know about you and Rosé relationship up until this point was that she was helping you write songs. You bring your mic up to your lips and speak. "The pictures on my Instagram of her looking at the lyrics I wrote? That wasn't Rosé helping me write. That was Chaeyoung reading what I wrote about her." The crowd goes crazy over the newfound information, and Y/N's pretty sure that they miss the way he referred to her using her real name instead of her stage name. But Chaeyoung catches onto it and she smiles softly at the man.

"I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am to Y/N by the way. Staying up countless nights and listening to me ramble on about being torn up, being there for me in every single way, helping me heal and doing all of this without expecting anything in return. Such a gentleman really." The crowd collectively 'Awwwwws' and Y/N hangs his head low, hiding his blush from everyone, Rosé laughs as Y/N looks at the ceiling, composing himself before speaking.

"I would never expect anything in return from you and you don't have to thank me either, I was just doing what a friend would've done at a time like that. Anyways, I stuck by her in those times all while all I could think of afterwards was how stupid the person who broke her heart was, all while I wished I was the one she had ended up with instead of them. I never even hinted at how I felt about her in those times, much less actually tell her. I promised myself I wouldn't tell her how I felt until the time was right. I didn't want her to feel guilty or pressured at all by what I had to say." Y/N looks from the crowd infront of him to Rosé before continuing "Time passed and her heartbreak had healed. But she still wasn't ready for a relationship for a while after that whole ordeal, so I kept my promise and I waited."

"When I had told my members and Y/N that I was finally ready for another relationship- That like, I was completely okay. Y/N decided to court me instead of asking me outright to be his girlfriend. Can you believe this sap?" The crowd laughs with Rosé as Y/N's jaw hits the floor, he walks away from Rosé and heads to the other side of the stage. He crouches and points to Rosé "I was being noble, chivalrous and mind you I was trying to prove that I was boyfriend material! Then she goes and calls me a sap?! I can't believe this..." Y/N lowers the mic and shakes his head in mock disbelief. Rosé doubles over in laughter before walking over to him and resting her free hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm calling you a sap because you are one. But it worked out didn't it?" She looks down at Y/N before continuing. "I gladly said yes." The crowd goes crazy, people cheering, some were jumping, and the others were speechless.

Y/N smiles, a full smile from ear to ear as he takes Chaeyoung's hand on his shoulder to bring it to his lips. "Yeah, yeah it worked out well in the end didn't it?"

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A/N: Damn writing in 3rd person is a TASK. I might never do it again, I hope this was good enough? I'm not too sure about the ending but I liked the idea of them announcing their relationship infront of a crowd instead of doing it via a social media post. So yeah.

[purpleyellow]

Road To Kingdom

The boyz 12th member

Mae’s masterlist

“A summary of Mae during RTK” 

a/n: not @/ me using the performance names as historical events. Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 🧡

... After the concept meeting for Sword of Victory...

Mae cracked open the door to a practice room, making sure no one was inside before dropping her stuff, as well as her body, on the floor. The lightbulb making it almost impossible to keep her eyes open reminded her that she used to do that during her trainee days.

Here she was again, feeling hopeless like she was going to face the biggest challenge ever. And the girl was sure she wasn’t ready for it. 

Minkyung had a problem of self-doubting even though she couldn’t pinpoint it, all the members seemed willing to take on the challenge, yet she felt like she’d be the downfall of the group. And yes, she had a thing for being dramatic as well, that’s why she rested the back of her hand on her forehead and sprawled out her other arm.

The door flung open with mild force, startling her from her thoughts and sending her body into a more normal position. Q entered the room without a word and just laid on the floor next to her. Both members looked at the ceiling deep in thought.

Mae went back to the idea she had during the meeting. Not a particularly bright one, though it did attack the fact she felt like an upcoming burden to the group. Taking a deep breath she mumbled, “I think I should take a hiatus”.

After her words, the room went back to silence. Her heartbeat had increased due to the heaviness of what she had spoken, and looking to the side, she saw Changmin frown.

“Are you sick?” He asked after a few minutes and the girl shook her head. “Physically or mentally unwell? Is there an issue we can fix?”

His questions made her taken back, for Mae it was very clear why her taking a break would be beneficial for the group. 

“I’m saying because of the program”

“We’re joining a competition, so you want to drop out?” Changmin sat up confused. 

“I’m thinking of the bigger picture. The group will do better if you don’t have to worry about me keeping up with you guys”.

“No, you’re not. I’m sorry, but you’re being selfish now” He chuckled. “We don’t mind if you need to repeat the same move a couple of times extra to understand how it goes. Do you honestly think it’s going to help being one person down?”.

“I figured I wouldn’t be setting you back. It can be stressing sometimes and -” She sat up trying to explain her thoughts, and he shook his head.

“Minkyung, you bring a lot to the team, just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean it’s worth losing everything else. When we were rookies I used to get annoyed because you were so quick to give up. But then you began understanding how you learn and your limits. And even though it takes you a little longer you push yourself. Why did you suddenly come back to assuming you can’t do it?”

“The meeting today. Everyone is preparing a lot, there’s so much thought involved and maybe not pulling it off would mean I failed you guys”

“I’m terrified too,” Changmin nodded, placing a hand on his chest “I mean, did you listen to the stunts they were talking about. My first thought was to run away. But then I remembered we’re here to prove ourselves” 

Sighing, Mae looked at him annoyed “You’re a great dancer, and singer and whatever else, you’ll do fine because that’s how your body works”

“And you’re an insane performer” He cut her off with wide eyes. A random giggle left his mouth before he continued “I’m talking about acting and becoming another person on stage, you literally do that in the blink of an eye. This is your chance of growth. Who cares if you pull an all-nighter to get the right angle? When you’re on stage it’s like someone else entirely, and we haven’t even done some crazy concepts like we’re planning on doing”

“If the angles are wrong then we won’t look synchronized” The girl mumbled looking at the big mirror and Q chuckled.

“And that’s why you’re not going to rest until it’s perfect. None of us is going too actually. We’re going in as a team, with all our flaws and strengths”

“It’s nerve-wracking, isn’t it?” She mumbled after a moment of silence. Changmin laughed and added. “I’m scared to death”

… Five hours before Catching Fire…

The last rehearsal before the performance had ended and the group went back to their dressing room. Sitting sideways on the couch, Mae rested her head on her arm and watched some members go get their makeup retouched.

Jacob sat on her side and stared at the girl’s blank face before laughing. “Can you blink, so I know you’re still alive?”

Blinking once, she slowly adverted her gaze to him and bit her lip “This is crazy”

“It’s not as fast-paced as they show it on TV though. At least we have some time to process what’s going on” Jacob shrugged making her narrow her eyes at him “But yeah. It is crazy”

“Sunwoo keeps going on high places. And there’s some acrobatic stuff I’m not sure how it works and-” She kept mumbling like she hadn’t been there for the tiring practices and rehearsals. Laughing Jacob interrupted her by adding.

“And you fake kicked someone”

“And I fake kicked someone” Mae repeated with wide eyes making him laugh and Hyunjae approach them.

“Hey, I’ve been jumping on high places too,” He said defensively making her stare at him and shrugged. Jaehyun laughing before patting her on the back “How about once we get home today you have a really long night to sleep”

“I’m good” Mae shook her head “I’ll sleep but tomorrow don’t let me miss the meetings please”

Agreeing with her, Hyunjae stepped back to the styling session and the girl stood up to use the restroom.

Just as Mae turned around the corner, a faint sound of a violin came from Golden Child’s door. Before she could fully process the song it was playing, the door opened wide showcasing Jangjun.

“Well, do we have a spy among us?” He laughed bowing at her and Mae repeated the gesture a little embarrassed.

“I was just passing by and heard the violin. I didn’t mean to interrupt” She said making an x with her hands.

“Nah, I don’t believe you” He teasingly said and dropped an arm over her shoulder, ultimately bringing her inside the room “So, what did you hear? Are you going to sell this information to your members? And what is it going to be your concept today, I can see the hunger games thing on your shirt, is it like a revolution”

“Uh, I don’t know… Hello” Bowing to the rest of Golden Child, the girl tried to remember what he had first asked her. “I only heard a melody, and don’t worry I won’t spread it around”

“Hyung, I told you not to play it right now” Bomin scoffed to Joochan, who seemed to realize he was still holding out his violin before hiding it on his back.

“But Mae-ssi is a friend, isn’t she? She will hold out the shock factor for us” He laughed making the girl nod and give them a thumbs up. “Do you know how to play it too?”

“I do actually” She laughed and Joochan gestured her to take the instrument “Oh, no it’s fine”

“You heard our song already. At least play for us or tell us something about your stage” Jibeom teased leading her to sigh and take the violin to herself.

Fixing up her posture, Mae quickly played a random song she had learned as a child making the boys cheer. 

“Okay, I should be going now,” She said bowing embarrassed by their compliments and Denyeol nodded along. Fist bumping her before raising a finger.

“But, Mae if you could do us a favor” He started grabbing her attention “Please make sure you show you’re surprised”

Laughing she nodded making her way to the door, before leaving she held up her hands with her fists closed “Golden Child fighting!”

“Mae fighting!”

(requested by 🍓🥛 anon) 

… Behind the scenes for Heroin…

“Why are we so embarrassing?” Sunwoo giggled and clicked his pen repeatedly. He and Mae were sitting on the same side of the table waiting for Leedo from Oneus to show up for the writing session. 

Bouncing her leg, Mae hugged the boy’s arm and looked at the door expectantly, only to get startled by it opening up. 

“Hello” The tall boy put his head inside the room and entered it slowly. The three idols greeted each other and sat down still a little awkward from being the first time they truly interacted.

“I got the demo, so we can write the raps to go with it” Leedo said unlocking his phone. A piano melody that would blend in with Sunmi’s Heroin started playing, and Mae quickly unlocked her own device.

Opening a piano app, she waited for the recording to be over before quickly replicating it on her phone in different tempos.

“You picked it up quite fast” Leedo laughed scribbling down on his paper, and she smiled. “Sorry, just a habit before writing. This way we can adjust it as we go”

“No yeah, sure” He cleared his throat and Sunwoo bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing.

“Anyway, for the lyrics, I was thinking we could talk about becoming an idol”

After finishing up with their rap parts. The three idols made their way up to the practice room where the rest had began working with the choreographer.

“Mae, come here” Juyeon called out as soon as she stepped in the room, so he could run over some parts with her and Ravn. “There’s only actual choreography for you after the last chorus, but we do some kind of puppet thing during your verse”

“My love for this song couldn’t be any bigger” Mae giggled and looked around the room for the camera “Sunmi Sunbaenim, if you’re watching this, let’s be friends”

Laughing, Juyeon pulled out a chair for them to start while saying “Watch out. Taemin Sunbaenim commented on danger, maybe she’ll actually see this”

“Wait, he did” Mae stopped with wide eyes and Juyeon nodded. “Holy sh-”

“Yeah” Laughing he pulled her arm “Just remember this is still a broadcast” 

“Honestly, if she ever reaches out let me know. I want to be her friend too” Ravn added making them giggled, and she gave him a positive sign.

“As long as you don’t tell Juyeon, because he’s been censoring me a lot lately”

“Well, we have an agreement”

Sulking, Juyeon added “I don’t see how this is fair but okay”

… 1 minute after Quasi una fantasia …

The members bowed to the staff and extras before slowly stepping away from the stage. Mae could see some of the boys crowding around Juyeon who seemed pretty upset, though she had no idea what was going on. 

Holding her side, the girl went behind the boy and gave him a back hug making them waddle together back to the dressing room. Once they were all settled back, she stepped away from the crowd and raised her shirt a bit showcasing a forming bruise right above her waist.

“Crap, how did that happen?” Kevin who looked her way at the right time said under his breath. “You need to ice it, probably"

“I bumped on the corner of the piano," She said recalling the incident. “Hopefully it wasn’t noticeable. The camera wasn’t turned to me anyway”

The one part that had gotten her most nervous during this performance was her piano solo for the climax of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Not only it dictated the rhythm for the first dance break, but it was also challenging for her as she hadn’t played something like this in a while, and it ended a few seconds before her part. 

So strategically speaking, she had to run off the instrument as soon as it was done and went back to the center of the performance. Not without hitting her hip against the wood.

“Is it hurting?” He asked while waving for a staff member and asking them for ice.

“It’s starting to. Do you think it’ll leave a big bruise?” Mae shrugged and hissed as the cold hit her warm skin. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on something else “Well, not mentioning everything. How was the performance?”

“Weren’t you there to see it yourself”

“I don’t know. I kind of blackout every time we go on stage” She made him laugh, but her face was dead serious.

“Wait really?”

“Kind of. I can remember it roughly I guess. Today there was so much to focus on that I’m not sure if I was entirely present. I banged my hip and didn't feel it at first for all things”

“Dude, same I guess. I need to lay down and get smushed by ten weighted blankets tonight” Kevin added hugging her on the other side and leading them to the couch.

… 3 days before Checkmate …

“The synchronization feels off” Eric spoke from the huddle of members watching the recording of their practice.

“Mae…” Q started, but before he could finish the girl spoke “Right arm higher. I got it”

“If you got it then why didn’t you do it right away” He turned playfully to her and poked her nose. 

Massaging her back, the girl laughed and walked back to her spot next to Haknyeon. The boy dropped his bottle on the floor to help her out “Did you fall on your side?”

“No. I did trip while running from one side to the center, so maybe that was it” She shrugged looking around the room “Nobody is intact”

“Tell me about it” He pouted and called Sangyeon closer. “Hyung, maybe we should work on another part. We’ve been doing this section of the chorus for too long”

“Go talk to the captain, I’m not in charge of that” The leader laughed sending him towards Changmin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae talking to one of the choreographers.

“They would listen if you’re the one asking,” Mae said leaning on his side and Sangyeon nodded. 

“Yeah, but I already came all the way over here. I don’t feel like walking back” Sangyeon chuckled, looking to the side where one of the staff members started calling his attention.

“We’ve got the costumes ready if you want to do a rehearsal with them” Looking up at the leader, Mae separated herself from him to run for the stylists while he went to call the other boys.

After the stylists helped her put on her clothes, one of them brought a box and quickly pulled her to the side “I know we’re not doing hair and makeup for today. But I’d figure it’s best for you to have it on for the rehearsal so we can make sure it won’t fall”

“Wow, is she getting a present?” Eric laughed approaching them and the stylist opened the box to reveal a thin black tiara to go along with her outfit.

“The crown itself is one of the props, so we had to make it subtle, but we couldn’t pass away the chance to represent the nickname you were given during the program,” She said helping her adjust the thing on her head and Mae walked to one of the mirrors.

“Wow, thank you so much Unnie,” The girl said checking herself out in the mirror “My face looks dead but damn this is pretty” She added making Eric and New, who also had joined them, laugh.

“You know, during a chess game, the Queen is one of the main pieces” She turned around to them holding a hand to her chest and a teasing expression “Thank goodness we didn’t go with a narrative that would give me that role because I’d crumble under the pressure”

“Only for the first week, then it would quickly get to your head” Chanhee scoffed patting her on the back and making her giggle. Eric chuckled as well and urged them outside “Let’s go work, so we can get Kingdom’s lost princess back to her place”

“Mock me as you want, I never asked for the nickname”

[youareunbearable]

im taking an Anishinaabemowin course over the summer and I've always viewed the Avari in the Silm as Indigenous so now im gonna try and rename the Silm characters in Anishinaabemowin for fun/ how the Avari would have called them.

A disclamer, Anishinaabemowin is a verb based language, so our names for things are based off of actions or descriptions of what they do/their job so names can be a little long. It is also gender neutral and sentence order doesn't super matter as long as it's understandable, I'm also learning so if there are mistakes lmao my bad

Its gonna be under a readmore cause rambling

So to start off, my sweetest poor little meow meow Maedhros.

With Mae, I really wanted to keep the "Red Dawn" motif, or go with the Russo nickname thing he clearly prefers since he kept that part of his name when he changed it to sindarin. The "red" part of the names is "Misko-" which goes at the begining of the word. So for him I have three choices:

Miskondibe, which means "S/He is red-headed" which I think would be a good alt name for Russandol

Miikawaadizi, which means "s/he is handsome, is beautiful; s/he is smart, clever, knows what s/he is doing" which is a good alt for Maitimo. For us, beautiful is less "oh they have pretty features" and more "oh they live a good way of life/they know what theyre doing" which I think translates well with the double meaning of his name, "shapely/handy"

Miskwaaseyaaban, which roughy means "it is the red light of dawn" which is my FAV allegory for mae lmaoo him as a red dawn is just *chef's kiss* and alt name for this concept is Miskwakwad which just means "it is a red sky" so like basically the same as the dawn meaning but without the "sun is rising" bit.

Also a fun point with this concept is that Fingon's call of "a new dawn" thing would translate to Biidaaban, which means "Dawn comes"

Angwaakizo is my last name for Mae, which I don't think he would call himself but how the Avari would speak of him after the First Age. It's a name that means "S/he dissapears/burns/consumed by fire" with the emphasis on "so there is nothing left" which I think would be a way to remember the horrifying way he went out. I also think this would be a name used to talk about Feanor, since that's also how he died. Overall, I think since the Avari were so far removed from the Noldor and had less first hand experience with them, that their stories of what happened during the First Age would be a little mixed up and in their legends Feanor and Maedhros get shuffled around a lot like how Tolkien shuffled Maglor and Maedhros a lot in his drafts

For Caranthir I think his would be more straight forward. I just translated his "ruddy cheeks" or "red faced" whatever name, so it'll be something like Miskwanowe

For Maglor, I like how his names kinda relate to his voice. "Strong voiced" "commanding" or "Gold Cleaver" (which im gonna be honest im still lost on how exactly it related to his voice but the wiki and ppl ive seen talk about it seem to link it to the clarity of his voice??) which I'm just gonna RUN with lmao. So the particle im gonna be focusing around is "-owe" which means "s/he uses their voice" OR nagamo which mean "s/he sings." So options:

Apiitowe, which means "s/he has a voice of a certain intensity, has so loud a voice" which is like "This is a voice to listen too" which I think fits with the "commanding/strong voiced Finwe" name. Out of all the name choices, I think this is the only one that he would pick himself

Bwaanzhii-nagamo, which means "s/he sings war songs" which in my mind goes hand in hand with the fanon that Maglor is really good at being like a battle bard, where he uses his voice to fight. I can see the Avari naming him that, but I can't see that being a name that Maglor picks himself

Anzhike'amaazo, which means "s/he sings alone" or Maanowe to mean "s/he has a horse voice" which is what I think the Avari call him after the first age.

For Curufin, I'm blanking on what he would want to be called, mainly cause I haven't figured out Feanor yet and he would want a similar name, but I think the Avari would call him Mamaazhi'iwe after hearing about what happened with Finrod and Beren and Luthien. It means "S/he overpowers, prevails over, conquers people" which I think is a good way to remember his coup, one of the things hes remembered for mostly besides being a smith

Similarily, I think Celegorm would be called Nooji'iwe, which means "s/he seeks, goes after, hunts" but the focus of the word is "to pursue" and for me, Celegorm is very driven and hasty-- with anger, with actions, with violence, etc. Which makes it a good name for a hunter, also a way to inturpret this word too is that one does all these actions towards people, which again, fits the narritive if the Avari are hearing about what Celegorm did to Luthien and Doriath.

I'm also lost on what to call the Ambarussa. We don't really have a word for "fate" as thats not a concept we have culturally so "the fated one" cant translate, and I don't really wanna go with another red headed name. So at most maybe Zoongide'e for Amrod which means "s/he has a strong heart/ is brave" and Ishkwejiiyaagan for Amras which means "last born child" but tbh i thought their names were weak in canon anyways but whatever

I haven't thought about anyone else (classic Feanorian brain rot) but maybe for Fingon I like the Valour title he carries so for him I think he would pick:

Minwaadizi, which means "s/he is a good person/ leads a good life, has a good character, is honest" which just screams Finno to me.

Zhawenjige, which means "s/he is merciful, is kind-hearted, has pity" which to me goes along well with a lot of his actions in the tales he's in. Not to mention there is that post floating around with the passage where he dies and it said he holds no hatred in his heart for any besides Melkor which is just *heart eyes* by sweet little man, my baby little boy

I may add onto this later or not I dont know lol

[penwieldingdreamer]

First Meetings

So, now that I have been stuck at home due to my mother's positive Covid test and watching The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings for 6 days straight, inspiration struck again, thank god 🙏😅 The new center of this -maybe- series will be Lee Pace. Of course this is only a fantasy and everything only came from my imagination but with a pinch of real events happening, still it's going to be in an alternative universe.

Thanks for being my beta @fortheloveoffanfic

Hope you guys will like it. Let me know what you thought and if you like to be tagged in upcoming drabbles I have palned and will hopefully be able to continue now again.

Summary: You work as part of the Mae-Up and Hair Crew on set of the Hobbit Trilogy, where you meet many interesting people, but one has gotten more of your attention than you would have thought.

Warnings: none, except for a very long drabble 😅

Words: 1722

You had been part of the crew ever since Peter Jackson had started working on the Hobbit trilogy in 2011 and met everyone that had been essential to the movies on and off screen. Apparently Fran had seen your work first hand when you were at a competition for make - up artists and she was impressed by the end results. You hadn't won any of the prizes but you were only one against one hundred others and yet she wanted you to be part of the second historic movie trilogy PJ did in his life.

The first people you had met were of course the dwarves and Martin who was Bilbo in the movie. They all were fun to be around, especially Dean and Aiden, as well as James Nesbitt who would always greet you with jokes or a song, giving you something to look forward to during those nearly endless days of filming.

And then, at the ending of shooting the first movie of the trilogy Philippa came up to you, a very tall man following behind her. You had just gotten done with James' make-up and wanted some fresh air, with all the fumes inside the trailer you sometimes thought you might get sick, so you sat outside, watching the pair walk over to you.

"Y/N," she said in greeting, a smile breaking out on her face. "May I introduce you to our newest cast members. Lee is going to be Elvenking Thranduil and he's in need of your service." Pippa, as you called her, had always had a way with people and she was next to Fran and Pete the only one of your bosses you could be yourself with and even call family away from your own. In your former jobs you had only been the one for the make-up, the one being ordered around and not even been able to give an opinion to change should something not look right on the person. But here, you were part of the crew and they would listen to you.

"It's nice to meet you." You said, holding out your hand for the actor to shake. With a smile in return he grabbed it and you had to concentrate not to let your reaction show on your face. Holy shit, his hands were huge compared to your smaller ones.

Only your boss's voice pulled you back to the task at hand. "So, Lee needs to get into his wig and ears and we'd like to try the crowns with the wardrobe department. Let's say meeting in an hour and a half over at costumes?"

"Oh, uh, sure." you mumbled, hastily disentangling your hand from his. "I'll send him right over when I'm done."

Pippa grinned at you. "Why don't you come over, too? We wouldn't want there to be a repeat of Elrond's circlet like the last time."

A soft sigh escaped your lips, nodding your head you stepped up onto the small stairs outside the trailer. "I'll bring him over then and make sure the wig will be in one piece once you guys are done."

"Great, I'll see you guys later!" she said, clapping her hands and walking off, leaving you with the giant in human form standing in front of you.

Once he made sure she was out of ear shot, Lee turned back to you, a smile plastered onto his face. "Do I want to know what happened to that wig?"

"I don't think you want to know, it was a mess and the guys making the wigs were so angry because the circlet Hugo was wearing in the fitting got caught on the strands and ripped it in half. They had to do it all over again."

Nodding his head, the actor entered the trailer behind her. You told him to take the empty chair next to Richard, who was getting ready for his scenes and he took the time to watch you flit around in your workplace. Everything was chaotic and still in order all the same. When you had come back to your place, the prosthetic ears and wig in hand, Lee grinned at you, his dark blue eyes shining with mirth. "Well, we wouldn't want another repeat for the King of Woodland Elves."

"At least you're already in character, then." Richard mumbled next to him with a laugh trying not to interrupt the woman doing his make-up for the day, listening to the words leaving his co-stars mouth.

Watching the actor, who was Thorin in the movie series, he laughed. "I just need to get my crown and wardrobe and I'll be good to go, everything else is already perfect."

Ruckus laughter floated through the trailer and you couldn't help but admire the shape of his face. Before you could stop yourself, you had already mumbled a 'yes, perfect' and Lee's eyes turned back to you. You felt the blush creeping over your face, swiftly grabbing a comb and a few clips to prepare his own hair for the wig cap you were going to be putting on under. All had seen the flush spread out on your skin and Martin who was getting up from his chair next to you send you wink. That was a great way to make a first impression on the day of meeting a new part of the movie series. You were scolding yourself inside, making sure to only talk to Lee when he was asking something, otherwise keeping your mouth shut.

"Okay let's see the green coat again with the silver overcoat. Y/N, be a dear and bring me that one please." Ann Maskrey, one of the costume designers asked you, while Pete and Pippa watched Lee getting dressed in the green coat. You walked over to the wardrobe and took the first silver coat. "No, not that one, the one with the deep orange silk on the inside." So you took the correct one on the second try and held it out for Lee to put on. He grinned down at you, pulling the coat over his shoulders and straightening himself. It would be easier if he wasn't such a giant, but he was a handsome giant.

"Right then, that looks good. Let's try it with the smaller branch crown."

You sighed, hoping there wasn't going to be another wig fiasco when you helped putting the crown on. Weta had done an amazing job designing all the pieces for the movies, for all movies they worked on, but sometimes these things were a bitch to work with. Your comb and pins at the ready, he sat down on the chair, pulling the knee-high boots on over the leggings he wore underneath.

"I'm going to be gentle but if I should hurt you with the pin please let me know." you told him, lightly pinning the crown to the wig so it wouldn't fall off.

Lee had closed his eyes, hiding the bright blue contacts he wore for his role. "I can take my fair bit of pain, but if it's intolerable, I'll let you know. So far I can't complain about these gentle hands."

By the time they had taken pictures and you had finally calmed down again so the flush that had started to spread over your face and neck at the close proximity to Lee was controlled again, Ann had asked you to take off one crown and exchange it for the larger branch crown with red leaves.

"I think this is going to be a lot more striking for King Thranduil then the other one."

So you repeated the process, gently combing the wig while Lee sat on the chair, chewing his gum and closing his eyes. He even held the hairpins in his hand because he saw you struggle to get them out of the confines of your little bag. When he moved it closer to you to work with your finger touched his and if you didn't know better there was a tiny spark from that brush of skin.

Finishing up, you grabbed the unused pins from his hand and told him you were done, giving the tall actor a light tap on his shoulder. Just as he walked over to the small area where they viewed him in his costumes, the door opened and Martin and James walked inside.

"Sorry, you guys but we had a small, unfortunate accident." the Irish actor apologized, showing the burst seams on his pants. "We were doing our stunts and well."

Martin grinned, walking over to you and throwing his arm around your shoulders. "We also wanted to see what all the fuss was about that haughty elf king."

Giggling, you looked over at Lee who grinned at his co-stars and repeated the walk he did before.

"Just so you know, if I were a female dwarf, I'd tap that elf ass." James whispered into your left ear, your once controlled blush intensifying again while the blond actor nodded his head enthusiastically.

"He's a perfect elf, you know. Broad shoulder, tall, elegant, striking eyes. The hair." Martin spoke so only you and the dwarf actor could hear.

"The long legs." James added, nodding his head over to the American actor who strutted along the area, having thrown off the overcoat.

"That smouldering look." the Brit continued before you held up your hands.

"Enough, you." You hissed so no one would know what you had been talking about, but you knew they were only trying to rile you up. Yes, Lee was attractive, hell, he was gorgeous and Pippa and Pete did an amazing job casting him, but you knew him for less than a day. He could be a total asshole when he didn't have people to impress for his first day on set. "You guys should get to Lucy or Sam so they can stitch up those holes."

"Well, I'm going to tell you this, one day you'll end up with a guy like that and you'll remember what I told you. You deserve the best in your life, luv." James told you proudly, pulling you closer into a one armed hug. He was brother and father to you in one person and you knew that his words were going to bite you in your ass.

They always did.

Taglist(I wasn't sure who to tag, also who might want to read it, so please let me know if you don't want to see mor of this in your notifications)

@fortheloveoffanfic @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @meetmeinthematinee @omg-imagine @fanficsrusz @eevee-of-rivia @fics-not-tragedies @omgkatinka @fuck-yeah-hope @wholelottatiffy @axshadows​ @a-really-bi-girl @madbaddic7ed @maggiemoo1892 @pinkzsugar @agniavateira @mary-ann84 and everyone who might want to read this.

[zigtheeortega]

For the past six months, @pixeljazzy​ and I have been working on a playlist we felt could top last year’s, which was so well received! 

We’ve broken it up into sections by individual love interests, multiple love interests, main character, and miscellaneous, which includes side characters, general vibes, etc. Underneath each song are lyrics we believed stood out to us along with explanations as to why we chose it. Like last year, the [p] is for PJ and [j] is for Jade.

Here’s the link to the playlist on Spotify, but we’ve individually linked the songs with each explanation as well!

We sincerely hope you enjoy our 2021 RODAW Playlist! 

The Bay, Soft Glas. ft. Mulherin [j]

Leaving you alone is too hard (hard, hard) / I just never know where to start (with you)

I'm not used to leaving someone broken hearted / That might be what really makes this hard (It's hard) / I've never been with anyone this long / If I did it, I really miss you

The softness and apologetic tone of the song reminds me of Logan through and through. He’s so regretful for what he put MC through, both at the beginning when he was lying to her, and by the end when he thinks he’s ruined her life by simply being a criminal and dating her. And by leaving her he’s leaving the one person who’s loved him unconditionally and stuck with him through it all.

Call Me, Nav [j]

They taught me, "Don't forget where you came from" / I regret what I came from

Do you know how it feel to feel alone? / Bought myself a house, to feel like I ain't home / Driving by myself, ain't got nowhere to go / Are you really here for me, I don't know

I hope you mean everything that you told me / I'll try to come back to you, girl, I'm sorry / If you miss me, just call me

This song honestly reminded me of Logan’s backstory that we don’t know much of, besides the fact that he was thrust into a life of crime as a teen and as an adult he hates it. The other lyrics I added are kind of a glimpse into the future I think – wherever Logan is, whatever he’s doing, if he’s not with MC, the woman he loves, everything he accomplishes is gonna feel hollow. And despite him saying that he was leaving to protect her, I know in his heart he’d want her to find her way back to him.

Cold Case Love, Rihanna [p]

I’m torn apart and you know / What you did to me was a crime

We opened up a cold case love / And it got the best of us / And now prints, pictures, and white outlines / Are all that’s left at the scene of a crime / Of a cold case love

The first line reminded me of how MC probably felt after being betrayed by Logan, the one that was arguably supposed to be the closest to them, and then the second lyric is because at the time, MC left and that was the last Logan knew of them with nothing to stand for what they used to have until they eventually came back to help save the crew.

Compass, The Neighbourhood [j]

If I don't have you with me, I'm alone / You know I never know which way to go / I think I need you with me for all-time / When I need new direction for my mind

I've got something to confess / I keep you in my pocket to use / You're my only compass / I might get lost without you / (Could you tell me where to go?)

You're always there to help me when I'm down / I'm lucky you've been keeping me around / You're the star I look for every night / When it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

Like a magnet / Hard to imagine ever changing / Can't help that I'm attracted to you, I am / Could you keep on guiding me? Please

This is a quintessential Logan song – reading these lyrics, it’s like Logan spoke them himself to MC, and that’s why I included so much of the song. All of these remind me of him and his hopeless romanticism, but specifically the line about her being the star he looks for every night? Absolutely perfect. This entire song is like a love letter from Logan to MC.

Don’t Leave Me, Blackstreet [p]

I’m searching for the words to make you realize / That I really, really want you to stay

Don’t leave, don’t leave me girl

This song was giving me Logan vibes from the diamond scene where he’s like “I can’t believe I love someone” and MC is like “you don’t get to say that to me” or some shit like that because he’s trying soo so hard to explain himself to her and to make her not hate him.

Imma Dog, Ugly God ft. PnB Rock [j]

You say you love me, shawty, tell me why / 'Cause I'm a dog and I'ma probably be this way until I die / You say you always gon' be by my side / You say you trust me with your heart and I swear, I just wonder why

Okay, hear me out, I forreal have reasons for this to be tied to Logan. The only verse in this song that’s a non chorus one is related to cheating, but I’m choosing to ignore that for the sake of the chorus. I heard the chorus for the first time and it made me think of one specific moment and point in time in Ride or Die. These lyrics remind me of Logan’s attitude when he was being mean and pretending to be annoyed by MC to get her off of him – despite the facade he’s still in awe of the way she trusts him and cares about him even when he’s treating her like garbage.

Life’s a Mess, Juice WRLD ft. Halsey [p]

Uh, sometimes life’s a mess

Lookin’ for somethin’ real, then I found it

I’m too flawed to hold you down, but / Don’t wanna be here alone

Logan knows all too well how much of a mess life really is (first lyric), and the second lyric is basically what I think he feels about MC. He told MC in the beginning that he doesn’t really stay with crews or trust anyone but himself, but MC was that exception before the rest of the crew became that exception too. And then the third lyric is because Logan looks at himself as someone who probably doesn’t deserve MC, Vaughn even said he was morally obligated to tell MC that she’s too good for his cousin (yes it was a joke (was it) but it fits), but he still wants her anyway (“Look at you...then look at me. You’re going to be valedictorian. I never even went to high school...I don’t have anything, and I wasn’t anybody, and I knew that. I always knew that….Some part of me really wants you to mess things up for me.” - Logan, Ch. 3).

Unfair, 6lack [p]

Hope my mistakes don’t make me less of a man / ‘cause lately it feel like them shits really can / I’m prayin’ I don’t wake up all alone

But know I’m stuck between / What I love and who I love and / I know it’s unfair

The first lyric I feel like is pretty self-explanatory as Logan expresses remorse for his actions (him acting weird and tryna tell MC about his dishonesty in the club, him making the effort to apologize or explain in the diamond scene after the reveal) and it especially hits if your MC is romancing Logan because he doesn’t want to lose them. As for the second lyric, I was thinking about how he was probably stuck between doing what’s best for the crew and doing right by MC

While We’re Young, Jhene Aiko [j]

Baby while we're young / I think we should do something crazy / Like say, "Fuck everyone" / And just run away from the daily routine

I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it / And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

'Cause it's been another perfect day with ya / Wanna lay with ya / Spend the night with ya / Then spend my life with ya, alright

I'll go everywhere you go / You know I'll go, I'll go / Everywhere you go

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it / Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love

This reminds me of Logan and MC’s brand of romance that’s sweet and clumsy and a little bit reckless when it really gets going. They’re both cautious but they fantasize about throwing caution to the wind even more than they already have.

Angel With A Shotgun, The Cab [p]

I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back / I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you have to sin

And I want to live, not just survive

Lemme explain because I feel like people may think this song is really really out there for Colt but I was listening to this song one day and thought of him, esp the last two lines I chose: I think of how Colt came up with the kidnapping plan and how it was so crazy because it was like wow he really was ready for murder if it came down to it, but Colt was basically like we need to do something big to outsmart them or else we’ll just be doing shit for them forever (‘sometimes to win, you have to sin’).

Born 2 Be Great, Lil Tjay [p]

I was born to be great / And I won’t let nobody tell me I ain’t / And I can’t stop, won’t stop

Growin’ up, I’m gettin’ old, start settin’ goals / Tryna make more money off my business and shows / And everybody gon’ hate, I’m great, I know / Everybody can hate, I’m great, I know

These lyrics just scream COLT to me all the way. He knows and believes he’s destined for greatness no matter what path he chooses because no matter what he does, he’s gonna succeed in the end. “I can’t stop, won’t stop” reminds me of how Kaneko wanted Colt to choose for himself what he wanted to do, and even though Kaneko tried to shield Colt away from the family business, that’s where Colt wanted to be. The second lyric is essentially Colt just knowing he’s gonna make money and that he won’t be liked (hated by other crews, police, etc.), but that won’t matter because he’s great nevertheless.

Chandelier, B.o.B ft. Lauriana Mae [p]

They say life’s about choices / In the face of defeat I declined / Put your soul into everything, never back down / That’s how you leave a legacy behind

Let my blood keep pumping, my heart keep beating / Shining like a chandelier

Making something out of absolutely nothing / That’s the definition of a survivor

Colt definitely felt ‘put your soul into everything, never back down / that’s how you leave a legacy behind’ because of how much he focuses on carrying on what his family has built, and taking all the risks necessary to keep that legacy alive and make a name for himself. I put ‘shining like a chandelier’ because that’s how bright Colt shines, as I believe he’s destined for greatness and wouldn’t allow himself to achieve anything but.

Down Bad, Real Recognize Rio [j]

I've been out of my head for a couple minutes, for a couple miles / Made the hair stand up on my neck / On a knife edge, comin' at me for my crimes / Got a mind that can leave you locked inside

'Cause you got me down bad, down bad, your deep desire / Carve my name on your soul, then I walk through the fire / Your voice so clear, like you say my name / You got mе runnin' for my life like this shit was a game / Got mе down bad, down bad to feel your touch

This song reminds me of Colt specifically during the gambling scene when he got shot and the last car chase scene, because MC is put in serious danger but it does nothing to shake her love for Colt. She’s scared for her life and her future but she’s still willing to put everything on the line for him and MPC.

Forever Ever, Trippie Redd ft. Young Thug [p]

You gon’ really have to hold me fuckin’ down, babe / ‘Cause I ain’t with the fuckery, that playing ‘round, babe

We Bonnie and Clyde but except the shots

He don’t love you like he should, I can love you better

First and second lyric are because they’re a team, and Colt sees MC as his right hand. In the life he lives, the people on his team gotta be down fr because there’s always a lot at stake. The last lyric is more conditional, as I feel like this could be him if MC was also romancing Logan because in the reveal, Colt’s like you deserved to know and in the car in the chapter afterwards that’s when he’s like bro we could run this whole shit etc. etc.

Impala, O2worldwide [j]

I been watching you from a distance / Sitting back and acknowledging your existence / I made a couple songs but you'll probably never listen / Shooting my shot but i'm always fucking missing / Setting my ego aside / Me and you can go together just like Bonnie and Clyde / I've been tripping over you just like my shoes is untied / And I tried to hit you up its like my confidence died but

I see you everyday but don't past corners of eyes / I'm just gonna act like I didn't see you close to that guy / Not gonna lie you got me head over ears / I'm tryna find love because I don't know just how it feels

Anyone listening to this and reading the lyrics is going to hate me because… is this the perfect “Colt pining for MC because she’s getting close to Logan” Love Triangle song, or what? I listen to this song so casually most of the time that I forget how sad the lyrics actually are. The first couple verses (not the third verse) fit the narrative so well. A lot of my favorite “Colt” songs aren’t ones where they’re outwardly admitting any kind of affection for MC – they’re the ones where it reads as Colt struggling with their feelings for MC and how to express them.

PTSD, G Herbo ft. Juice WRLD, Lil Uzi Vert, and Chance the Rapper [p]

I don’t belong, I see my past everywhere

I got a war zone on inside of my head

A million dollars ahead, I’m still angry and seeing red

I’m too paranoid, I make sure all my opps, they bled

This song always guts me because G Herbo is talking about all the people he’s lost, and for Colt, I imagined this was probably him after losing his father. Reminded of his past when he saw the remains of the shop, reminded of his past every time after that probably when he was rebuilding the shop. As for the million dollars, it’s like he could pull off as many heists as he could but he would never be satisfied until Brotherhood paid, hence the last lyric because honestly I don’t think it’s over until Shaw is dead (ik there’s a line in ROD where he’s like if we were even, he’d be dead, I just know it).

Sun God, Trippie Redd [j]

Went out my way just to love you / Right at the top, no above you / Right off the top, know I trust you / Ready or not, here I come, boo / And baby, you're hot, like the sun, too / Not too hot for me, no I'm sun-proof / Follow your lead, I'ma come through / Just you and me, baby, one-two

I think this is Colt way farther down the line if MC had the chance to really fall in love with him. He’s the type to value trust and loyalty in a bond more than anything else because he doesn’t do either of those easily at all. And I think that the line about being sun-proof is a cute callback to a lot of the fandom comparisons of Colt and Icarus – the title too and the lyrics just scream Colt to me.

Where Does The Love Go?, Maria Isabel [j]

Nightly negotiations with the moon, whoever's listening / All the miles between us got me messed up, got me trippin'

They say lovin' is easy / But not when one of us is leaving

Back on a plane / Two different coasts / When we're alone / Where does the love go? / What if you go / Forget the way home? / Running in circles but never together / So where does the love go?

The more I listen to this song the more I think this song is about Colt and MC. Colt’s not a clingy type in the slightest, but there’s no doubt in my mind that deeper into the relationship, both Colt and MC would have some doubts – the reason I say this is because I’m viewing the lyrics through the lens of Colt and MC doing long distance while MC is in college on the East Coast. This whole song is long distance relationship anxiety summed up perfectly and it’s so Colt.

Yellow Lights, 24kGoldn [p]

Don’t want no yellow light / don’t want no mixed message

For the crown, ‘cause we could achieve it

Love you now, but don’t you deceive me

Second lyric resonated with me esp because of that line in the book where he’s like “But the two of us? We put our brains together, you and me could run this whole town” so he knows he could achieve an empire with MC by his side. Last lyric is because Colt definitely doesn’t trust those around him and for those that he does trust, that trust doesn’t come easy. So MC, who managed to get past that, is loved, but would automatically lose a lot if she deceived him (now imagine….snitch MC? This line would hit a lot more because she ends up deceiving him so like he had a right to be wary of her holding his heart (like if we’re looking at the pov of him saying this lyric)).

Can’t Love, Trippie Redd [p]

She say she love me, I think she love me not / She say she love me, I know she love me not

How could you do this to me? / Yeah, yeah, I thought you, I thought you loved

Another Mona and her ex song teehee but I’m imagining this from Mona’s pov while she’s in jail like wow that girl never loved me like she said she loved me (first lyric) and how could she betray me like this (second lyric).

Favorite Mistake, Giveon [p]

Is my secret safe? / Safe with just you and me / We can’t leave a trace / This is my favorite mistake

Look in my eyes / Do you mind the lies? Do you feel alive?

Even when you’re gone / The feeling just grow stronger / Should leave it alone / But you’re getting closer

So I finally did a Mona route and GOD yes this song is about cheating (Mona and Hieron can’t relate) but we gon ignore that and just focus on these lyrics specifically because wow they really hit me like Mona for one was in denial of her feelings for MC from the jump and at some point she’s like god this is so ridiculous I can’t believe I’m feeling this way again so ofc she doesn’t want people to know she’s in love (like that time Toby is like man she is NOT happy about liking you! in the club scene) hence the beginning of the first lyric but at the same time….. she’s in love… so “this is my favorite mistake.” As for the second and third, the lies are that “I don’t like you” ra ra ra she’s only fooling herself and then it’s like yeah she knows her feelings are dumb but she can’t help but fall for MC anyway <3

Gonna Love Me, Teyana Taylor [p]

Sometimes we say things that we really don’t mean / We do things in between the lines

Please wait up for me ‘til whenever I get home / I know that you’re all alone / Thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through, ooh, ooh

Why is it so hard to keep in touch

For the first lyric, I was thinking of the time MC says “Being with you makes a difference to me. It feels safer” and Mona replies that “It’s just an illusion. A blanket. And I’ve told you before not to count on me.” Yeah she said that wit her chest but ik she knows it’s more than that for the both of them. The second and third lyric both have to do with her being in jail by the end of the book (making it literally hard to keep in touch), and even though she tells MC not to wait up, a part of me thinks the vulnerable part of Mona would’ve hoped at least a smidge that MC would, and the last bit ‘thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through’ reminds me of the advice in the diamond scene of driving Mona to the hospital that she gave MC which was that to move on, you just gotta keep your foot on the gas and look forward and that eventually, she’ll be somewhere better than she’s ever been.

Love or Lust, 24kGoldn [p]

It’s love or it’s lust, we just need to be clear / ‘Cause if you’re in love, then I shouldn’t be here

Would you walk eight thousand miles just to make me smile on a rainy Wednesday? / If so, then you gots to go, it ain’t mutual and I’m not pretending

Basically in the beginning stages of MC falling for Mona, Mona’s like oh hell nah (“I shouldn’t be here”) and she recognizes that MC likes her a lotttt (MC would definitely walk eight thousand miles to make her smile on a rainy Wednesday) and so she’s like fuck

PLW, Leon Thomas [j]

Left my fear right at the door (ooh) / She's an animal hunting in the wild, yeah (in the wild) / Doesn't move around or groove / But she come from the depth / That's why she's down to earth / An instrument of war

Baby ain't no beginner / I got love for my little winner / Flashing or finessing / That's why I mess with her, yeah

And you don't have to worry, yeah / 'Cause I know what's she worth / No, you don't have to save me / From my pretty little weapon

Ooh my baby smart, and she sharp, and she sharp, yeah / Pretty little weapon

I’ll never ever get over how this song fell into my lap and is absolutely perfect for Mona. This is for an MC who acknowledges that Mona’s a badass and that she loves her because of her strong personality and unwavering confidence because she knows she’s good at her job. The first verse is the best approach an MC could take – leaving her fear at the door because she knows someone like Mona could sniff it out. The line “No, you don’t have to save me / From my pretty little weapon” kills me, because it’s accurate – on Mona’s route, despite any betrayal, the MC is still in love with her and knows that Mona would never actually hurt her.

Sleeping With the Enemy, BbyMutha & Kindora [j]

Creeping around corners / I don't feel like myself / Studying your movements / It's a carousel / And I can't confirm that you / Mean what you say / And I'm pretty sure / That it's / Better that way

Why can't I trust in you / Am I slipping up / Over you / If it really turned to be the way / That I think / How bad could it be?

And I know that we could go for / Round and round like 123 / And I gotta question myself / Is it coming? / Possibly / And I gotta wonder / Am I sleeping with the enemy?

I'm watching my back / Like I got nothing left / I give you all I got / Wish I knew what was next

The first time I heard this song it was a toss up between whether or not it was a Colt and Mona song (or both) but I settled on Mona pretty quickly after a re-listen. Not only is the internal conflict in the lyrics a perfect description of Mona’s own battle, but it could be easily viewed from MC’s perspective as well. The idea of knowing it’s “wrong”, and mistrusting them but pursuing it anyways is quintessential early Mona route.

The World is a Marble Heart, AJR [p]

We could have been, we should have been / What your heart couldn’t handle

Run away, girl, ‘cause I let you / Now you found some other man, you see / I’m better off without you, ‘cause the man ain’t me!

I’m going right now / To the beginning / What you denied from the start / And now you can’t go breaking my heart

The world is a marble heart / It’s bullshit and we know it

I think the first lyric is definitely MC to Mona because Mona was afraid to allow herself to be in love, and then evidently their relationship couldn’t blossom because Mona ends up arrested (“we could have been, we should have been”). This song called out to me because Mona always comments on how MC’s heart got them into the Brotherhood mess, how MC always think the crew is something they’re not, so MC’s heart is the marble heart and the last lyric (“it’s bullshit and we know it”) is essentially Mona being like girl you know we are not what you think we are. The second lyric is because in a scene after the reveal, Mona drives MC to Riya’s house and MC goes I wish we could run off together and Mona is like just say the word and MC is like I can’t :/// and then Mona is like the only one stopping you is you, and then “I’m better off without you” is Mona being don’t call don’t write don’t text

Would You, Pink Sweat$ [p]

Would you die for me? I would die for you / Would you shoot for me? I would kill for you / Would you run up the bag if I needed you to? / Girl, all the things that I’d do for you / Would you do for me too?

I wanna know when it pops off that you gon’ be right next to me

This was giving Mona and her ex from that scene where MC got a glimpse into Mona’s past. Essentially, Mona’s ex and her were thick as thieves, and when they got arrested, Mona didn’t say anything and her ex did, so Mona was always ten toes down but her ex never had her (Mona) like she (Mona) thought she (her ex) had her (Mona)

Both of Us, YFN Lucci [j]

Stay with me when there's no one else to call / If you got me then I'm in it for the both of us

Look, ayy, do you love me like you say you love me? / Ay, do you vow to keep it cute when everythin' get ugly? / Ay, if I ever leave, girl would you come lookin' for me?

I think that this song and these lyrics fit into the title of the book and how “ride or die” each of the love interests are for MC and vice versa. I think the softer parts of this song are MC for sure, and Logan at times, and the second bullet point is Colt and Mona. For them, it’s more of a promise of loyalty rather than love like the earlier lyric is (which is why I think that’s a bit more hopeless romantic like Logan).

C U Girl, Steve Lacy [j]

I haven't seen you in a while, you know I miss you babe / When you hear this song, feel flattered, it's about your face / And how I miss it and I wish that I could see it more / But you're in college now and I'm about to go on tour

I love this song because it makes me think of the possibility of MC and the LI having a “song” – one where any time they hear it they think of each other. And that when they hear it it makes them happy but at the same time they’re forced do think about the distance between them and how much they miss each other.

Collide, Tiana Major9 and Earthgang [j]

Everybody's got opinions on our thing / Say we're flying down a path with no ending / And if I die before I wake / Ooh, don't let me wake up from this dream / When we collide / When we collide, it's a beautiful disaster / When I crash into you, you, you

And I don't care about the future or the past / Riding slow, 'cause you know the world's moving too fast

Without you, I'm just a fraction / Closing in on my demise / And I love you religiously / With everything inside of me / As long as I'm alive

So I think it fits for all three because the relationship is taboo since they’re criminals and she’s a valedictorian getting ready for college. Their relationship is sloppy and dangerous and comes to an inevitable end, and they both know that, so this song for sure encapsulates how little both the LI and MC care about that. They don’t that it’s a trainwreck, because colliding is all that matters :)

Heaven, Clairo [j]

Alone, for the last time / You're just a loner / Give it a try / And you're hard on yourself / And your laugh, it just melts in my hands / Lonesome in the streets

I'll get by with you on my mind / I'll get by with you on my side

I love the idea of this song being viewed as MC’s perspective of her LI, because I’m sure the other LI’s haven’t been appreciated in the way that she appreciates them. For example, the line about the laugh melting in her hands makes me think about how they’d react to her saying that to them. None of the LI’s probably have never been told their laugh is cute, and I’m sure they’d be confused about it at first, so this whole song gives me a cute late night summer drive vibe. Like the MC is in the passenger seat of Mona or Logan’s car or draped around Colt and she’s just appreciating the things she loves about them.

Heaven Ain’t Hard 2 Find, Tupac [j]

Simply because you nervous, let me start off with my conversation / Hoping my information, elevates the hesitation / I can see it clearly now / Catch you smiling through your frown / I'm askin' Baby Boo are you down?

Heaven ain't hard to find / In fact you can have it just have faith / Just like a little kid, still believing in magic / It takes a lot of sacrifice / With all the lonely nights on tour / I need somebody I can trust in my life

Oh god help me identify me truest thoughts / Your hidden motives full of passion who would of thought / Come holla at me baby, love me for my thug nature / Far from a player hater, label me a money maker / Straight heart breaker

I originally added this song because it’s canon that Colt loves old West Coast Rap, so that makes me think he’s a huge Tupac fan. I can see him listening to this in his car driving down a California highway at like 2 a.m. On the other hand, though, the beginning of the song reminds me of the first meeting with Logan at the party, or the second meeting when they go to the car show – young love jitters and all that.

Keep Me Up, Charlotte Lawrence [j]

My heart starts beating and my hands start sweating / My chest starts sinking and sometimes will even start shaking / It's physical and emotional

And I don't want you all inside my head / And I can feel you running through my veins

When I say, and I say, and I say / That I want you in my life / But you stay, and you stay, and you stay / And you never leave my side / And you take, and you take, and you take / And you say you feel so nice, boy / And you keep me up all night

I think this fits with all the LI’s and MC and how they cope after the LI’s had to leave. Read it from both perspectives and it honestly fits so well for both of them – like the first couple months of restlessness staring at their ceiling while reflecting on how much they miss each other.

Kitchen, Kid Cudi [j]

Hmm, you wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But it seems they all on the same mission / You wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But can't stand the heat of my love, then stay out the kitchen

Oh baby here we are, I made a wish on shootin' stars / I ain't even mad at it, we made it this far

The attitude of this song reminds me of both Mona and Colt’s feelings about relationships – they both know they’re intense people and that they don’t trust or love easily, and that whoever’s interested in them needs to know that. They’re not going to apologize for it, but they appreciate anyone who sticks around and loves them despite that.

Meet Me Halfway, The Black Eyed Peas [j]

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline / Is where I'm gonna wait, for you / I'll be looking out, night n' day / Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I stay / I can't go any further than this / I want you so bad it's my only wish

I think of all three LI’s when I listen to this, because it fits into the idea of them struggling to maintain both of their lifestyles and have them mesh together. And it plays into the distance when MPC has to scatter.

Moonlight, Trippie Redd [j]

I can still be your man / I was tryna see your plans / 'Cause I was tryna have this dance tonight / Your body, girl, I'm a real big fan / And I cannot lose this chance / So, baby girl, grab my hand / This moment I'm waiting for, I fantasize / I just wanna be with you, I just wanna be with you tonight / Under the moonlight

This reminded me of the prom scene and how despite the chaos, all three love interests took the time to appreciate MC and soak up their last “date”.

out for the night, 21 Savage [j]

Five foot five (Five), she my ride or die (Die) / Never tell a lie (Lie), we like Bonnie and Clyde (Clyde) / Lookin' at her thigh (Thigh), like, "Do it come with rice?" (Rice) / She don't like FaceTime, she would rather Skype / But I'm out for the night (Straight up) / Out for the night (Straight up)

When I heard this song I could definitely see Colt listening to it, but I think the flirtiness of the song fits for all three love interests! Also, I mean… “she my ride or die” and “we like Bonnie and Clyde”? Self explanatory.

Part of Me, Teo [j]

I believe there's no one in your place / So much lovely / You can cure my mistakes / You reside in me no room for escape

You're my darling / You're my love / You're rocking all of your diamonds / All dressed up / And girl I lost my mind, no, I messed up / So now I'm knocking at your doors with my chest up

You're part of me / Come again and see / Diamonds make you sparkle

This reminds me of the prom scene from the LI’s perspective. And even more so than that, it reminds me of post prom/car chase where they have to say goodbye to each other the last time. It’s like a bittersweet tribute to MC about how much they mean to them and how much they’ll think about them when they’re apart.

Special, 21 Savage [j]

We got something special / I was finna text you / But I don't wanna pest you / Even if we ain't together (no matter we're forever) / I'm still coming to your rescue

Ride with me (ride with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / You know I need you on my side with me (side with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / Baby, roll with me (roll with me)

I'mma hold you down forever / You my round forever / They just want to use you, but I'm tryna help you

I think of Colt mostly with this song, but it definitely fits with all of the li’s in my opinion! Logan, Colt, and Mona would all approach their relationship with MC this way – constantly affirming that they’re there for MC no matter what, even if things go South with them, they’re always one call away. And especially the last line “they just wanna use you, but I’m tryna help you” that’s for sure an overprotective LI about the Jason Shaw situation and generally people taking advantage of MC’s kindness.

Drunk on Love, Rihanna [p]

Take me away / I wear my heart on my sleeve / Always let love take the lead / I may be a little naive, yeah

I feel like I’ve heard MC being described as naive, and even in the book Mona is like man it’s your damn heart that got us into this mess because you thought we were more than who we are, so yeah this song reminded me of MC.

Final Goodbye, Rihanna [p]

Thought that you would stay forever with me / But the time has come to leave

Promise you our love will carry on

Final goodbye, MC saying goodbye to their LI, you catch my drift.

The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you wanna start a fight / You better throw the first punch / Make it a good one

I feel like this lyric specifically is saying that if you’re gonna stand for something, you better give it your all, and it reminded me of how MC came up with the plan to defeat the Brotherhood in the last few chapters of ROD, and to get out of it, they really had to go all out (AKA MC telling the police everything, meaning the gang had to go on the run). Also, MC just nose-dived into this life and I feel like this lyric is like ‘well sis if you gon be a criminal you might as well do your best’ (and she did when she bodied her first heist I know that’s right, my driver forever <3).

Harder We Fall, Jessie J [p]

So, whatever path we choose to take / There will be highs and there will be lows, the same / Oh, we’ll never run from our mistakes / The harder we fall the harder we try again

I just feel like this is a good song for MC to listen to in the car on her way to Langston yk crying but the windows are down and the wind is wiping your tears so you just keep it pushing because you’ll live and you’re stronger than your lows.

House of Memories, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you’re a lover, you should know / The lonely moments just get lonelier / The longer you’re in love than if you are alone / Memories turn into daydreams, become a taboo

I think of you from time to time more than I thought I would

I just feel like this is a perfect song for MC going through the motions of leaving their lover behind and thinking about the times they shared because her life with the crew will always be so drastically different than the life she was went to have (going to Langston, being the ‘goody two shoes’, etc.).

Let It Out, Trippie Redd ft. Myiah Lynnae [p]

I need to know, before I tell you, can I trust you?

Idk man this song really just spoke to me.

Saw You in a Dream, The Japanese House [j]

I saw you in a dream / You had stayed the same / You were beckoning me / Said that I had changed / Tried to keep my eyes closed / I want you so bad / Then I awoke and it was so sad

Haven't talked to you in months / And I thought that I might cry / But I'm not that kind of girl

All good things come to an end / But I thought that this might last / But you came and left so fast

I wonder if you'll come visit me again / You're taking your time to reappear / I'm starting to believe that when I call your name / You just don't hear me anymore / And I know that I shouldn't even try / It's a waste of time

I don’t think I need to go super in depth as to why this reminded me of MC, but I do see this as MC’s defeated approach to it in the months/years after meeting the MPC.

Silent Nite, Tink [p]

I put your joy and your feelings ‘fore mine / These days I’m angry, angry inside / No words to say (oh) / One thing to do / Move on and fall back from you / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me tight / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me, oh, oh I’m lonely / Lost for words (lost for words)

It’s a short song so I just put the whole lyrics in here LMFAO but I feel like this could be MC during her first few nights at Langston. For Hieron at least, I know she went through a range of emotions processing this new chapter without the people she holds dear, angry at the way this is how things had to play out, but all that’s left for her to do is get over it, move on, and get used to not having that support anymore (i.e. like if MC is used to cuddling with [insert LI], they deadass gotta sleep alone now f in the chat).

Smile, Juice WRLD ft. The Weeknd [p]

I’d do anything in my power to see you just smile / I want you to prosper and come proper / Even if that means I ain’t by your side

I spent every day right beside you (‘side you), ‘side you (‘side you) / A hundred pics of me on your phone / Now you’re someone that I used to know

OKAY so I’m absolutely obsessed with this song and the first lyric was definitely giving me Logan x MC because I feel like this is something he could’ve said during his goodbye, like saying something that vulnerable and heartwrenchingly sweet is def on-brand for him, but the second lyric I feel like fits all the LIs. Like because they were part of the crew, they spent so much time with MC, and now that they’re gone, MC has all those pictures and memories that they  want to hold on to them so badly even though they can never be together again (‘now you’re someone that I used to know’)

Stuck With Me, The Neighbourhood [j]

Now I'm feeling guilty for it / Didn't wanna leave / Realized I'm less important / Than I thought I'd be, yeah / I'm not tellin' you for any certain reasons but / I just want your empathy

Our lives keep on gettin' shorter / Losin' opportunity / There might be some other ways of looking at it but / That's just what I see / I been gettin' over myself / Thinkin' about what you need / Then I realised that neither of us matter

You always end up stickin' to me / Somehow, somehow / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with

So I think this song covers a lot of topics for MC. I think the vibe of the lyrics suit MC when she’s dealing with her relationship with her father, being pressured by Jason Shaw, and grappling with whether or not she’s making the right decision despite it all – homegirl was falling in love throughout all of it, too. Reading the lyrics with that lens made me think of each of the lines as a different conversation. The first part sounds like a tidbit of a conversation she could’ve had with her dad or about her dad. The next one is like a realization that despite how careful she is with her choices, nothing matters anyways, if the MC takes a nihilistic approach to it. And the last lyric is her conclusion with the LI that despite everything, she’s happy that she’s with her LI and she’s grateful for their loyalty.

worst behavior, Ariana Grande [j]

I been on my worst behavior / But, baby, I don't need no savior / I'm way outta line / But I kind of like the way I / Feel when I just don't give a fuck

This ain't no game, won't play with you / This time I know I'll stay with you / Just promise you won't say nothin' / Don't you be actin' like that, don't you be actin' like that, babe

Said baby it's just in my nature / To be a little troublemaker

Know you really like the way I / Taste when we kiss, you reminisce / But this ain't the last time / Just stay by my side

This song reminds me of rebellious MC before the gravity of the situation really hits her – the short span of time where she’s not worrying about being Valedictorian or college or her dad’s approval. She’s just living and falling in love for the first time. This could probably work for all LI’s but the specific “troublemaker” line makes me think of an MC who is trying to reassure Logan that she can make her own decisions.

1Day, PnB Rock ft. Ugly God [j]

Momma told me that I wouldn't be shit / Told her one day / I'ma be rich (huh)

One day, I'ma buy a big ass crib  / One day, I'ma buy a big ass mansion / One day, all my fucking diamonds gon' be dancing / One day, I'ma fuck a bitch in the Hamptons / One day, I'ma eat the sushi with the salmon

Dropped out of college, everybody said I'm tripping / Told them be patient, but they ass wouldn't listen / Made it big time, now they fucking with the vision / Now I'm really rich, and my diamonds really glistening

The lyrics kind of remind me of the lifestyle that they live – whether or not they fell for the MC in the process, they all kind of have the motive of money and being successful in their own way. Even though the li’s and MC have their own shortcomings and wants and needs outside of MPC, I like to think of this song as an ego booster and probably representative of their attitudes when they joined MPC at the beginning. Reminds me of Logan especially since he joined the life so early and probably romanticized it for the longest time before it really went to shit. And to add to that, the last lyric is Colt all the way.

92 Explorer, Post Malone [p]

Ooh, baby, I see these muhfuckas’ glancin’ / When my whip stop, then my wheels keep spinnin’

Made a lot of M’s, made a lot of moves

This song is literally all about Post Malone’s precious car so I was like LMFAO why not because everyone in ROD loves their cars and then the last lyric is because they be making a lot of money with their transactions/steals.

Best Friend, Saweetie ft. Doja Cat [p]

Beep beep, is that my bessie in a Tessie?

Listen... I feel like we were robbed of the peak best friend dynamic that could’ve existed between Riya and MC so this whole song is for them (also c’mon MC could’ve snatched a Tesla if she reeaaally wanted too so yup that’s Riya’s bessie in a Tessie).

Lost It, Rich The Kid ft. Quavo and Offset [p]

The Bentley don’t cost shit / I walk out the bank rich

Okay, drank sippin’, lane switchin’ / I done brought my gang with me

Ooh, I might snatch the coupe

First one because they really could get any car they wanted, second lyric because gang always together yk, and last one because they really be stealing cars out here LMFAO.

Royal Rumble, Lil Tecca [p]

My life is a movie, you not ready for that clip

It’s a Royal Rumble

ROD really is a wild ride (‘my life is a movie’) and the ‘it’s a Royal Rumble’ just reminded me of the fact that it’s basically a showdown between two crews where one wins in the end but at what cost.

Runnin’, 21 Savage and Metro Boomin [p]

Runnin’, runnin’, runnin’, runnin’

We run the motherfuckin’ city

Fuck your crew, [redacted], we’ll kill your crew

First lyric is because literally everyone has to scatter by the end of the book, and the second lyric just gave me their vibes, whether or not they truly ran the city. The last lyric makes me laugh because Colt really was about to kill the other crew, the ‘we’ is a lilll bit loose in that sense though LMFAO because I know damn well Toby was not ready to go down like that.

Stuntin’ Like My Daddy, Birdman ft. Lil Wayne [j]

What we doing? Getting money / What they doing? Hating on us, but they never cross / Cash money still a company, and, bitch, I'm the boss / And I be stuntin' like my daddy, stuntin' like my daddy

Colt and Teppei don’t get along, but I like to think that Colt not only bumps this song in his car, but secretly imagines that him and Teppei run L.A. – either together or with Colt taking the reins.

Takin’ Shots, Post Malone [p]

Drinkin’ all night, but we ain’t done yet / Waitin’ on the plug, but he ain’t come yet

Already losin’ control, this is the life that we chose

The first lyric and this song overall just give me club vibes, like the underground one they went to where MC wears that neon fit. The part in the second line that always gets me is ‘this is the life that we chose’ because being a part of this crew was a choice for most, and they knew what comes with this lifestyle.

Trouble on Central, Buddy [j]

So the entire song is pretty much the idea  “I wish life were better and I’m daydreaming about how good things could be for me”. And to be honest, I think that the vibes of that fit Logan when he was young and broke, but at the same time, I could see Colt bumping this song in a convertible.

VEGAS, ABRA [j]

The whole song reminds me of the gambling scene and the high stakes of it. It kind of reads like the MC trying to fit in with dangerous criminals while she’s there despite the MPC thinking she’s not ready for it

[1ddotdhq]

🎤 Sat Aug 29 🧬

LP Act 2!!! How well did LIAM do?? He KILLED IT!! Once it was finally able to start, that is! The Veeps website crashed about an hour before the show started, and was not able to start running again until over an hour after it was supposed to start. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m having flashbacks to the anniversary website (as well as every other website the One Direction curse seems to have contact with). 

Highlights of the show include him performing What a Feeling, which is the first time anyone from One Direction has ever performed it, ever! There were also pictures of his band (One Direction? Maybe you’ve heard of them?) in onesies and dressed as Mario Kart characters (in case you’re wondering, this would have been from that one Mario Kart interview, yes). Some ~ super fun (old) behind the scenes facts ~ include that the boys got in trouble for the onesie picture because “a cool band -  like Westlife - would never have done that”. Uh, fuck you, said Westlife, who promptly took a picture in onesies one week later. Love that for them. 

Say what you will about these guys, they do really listen to their fans and deliver. Louis was clearly taking careful notes on our merch requests, and is delivering, and Liam really came through with the song selections, opening with the seemingly forgotten songs from his EP, to singing more One Direction songs - I’m not over the What A Feeling performance, and I never will be. The chat, meanwhile, “play Little Things!”. Seriously, what the fuck guys? 

Other notable moments from the show include Liam singing Night Changes and Best Song Ever (I love this song!), and his opening act Mae Muller, who sang her newest single, as well as a song called “Therapist”, in which she crooned “you don’t need a girlfriend, you need a therapist”. Also, on the topic of One Direction (were we on that topic? We are now.), he said, “wow, ten years, so much has happened, I’ve got a mustache now!” (Harry can relate :{D!). He mentioned that it was hard to play these old songs without the boys (“I did ask, though!”). And, perhaps most surprisingly, his show did feature ...cage dancers? I wasn’t expecting that one either, to be honest.

Following the show came Afterparty. This was, in a word, awkward. There were some zoom games that mostly consisted of technical difficulties, Liam standing around awkwardly, and participants who mostly failed to answer the questions correctly. The prizes for participating in this game consisted solely of Liam’s used shirts, which he joked were from his depop store! There were also video messages wishing Liam a happy birthday, notably from artists he’s worked with including Niall (!!!!). 

The funniest moment of the show was definitely the costume of a cow he promptly put on because “why not? It’s not the worst thing I’ve put on during a show”. It’s no banana suit, but it did give him the opportunity to make penis jokes. And, guys, he took it! The second funniest moment was when asked what his favorite part of going solo was, he promptly replied, “finding out that people don’t know my middle name”, in reference to a failed zoom answer. 

If you were looking for an update to YESTERDAY’s headline story, well, so was I, to be honest, but, as Liam said (when talking about birthday wishes), “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to keep some information close to the chest”. I think that’s that about that, to be honest. But Liam did have special guests on hand: childhood friends - Not Maya.

None of the other boys had any notable events today, but Harry made Daily Mail headlines for, uh, making a friend? Someone call the press! Oh, wait - Someone already did! Emma Corrin, the “pal” he seems to have made, will be playing Princess Diana in the upcoming season of the Crown. So, you know, some queens do need a crown (not Harry, though, obviously). Most notably, though, the article makes a point of explicitly telling us that they are not romantically involved.

Louis continues to be making fandom rounds for his merch, which is a topic of heated debate. What is behind the DNA strand? Yesterday, I called it a wall, but some have said that it looks more like a baby gate, while others brought their professional medical opinions to bear to tell us that it was in fact an artery wall. Which is it? Place your bets now!

[sgt-seabass]

stargazing with beck, but you’re bound and gagged.

ambs! due to the immense talent for writing that you possess, i’d love to hear more about your process — where do your ideas come from? how do you draft a story? do you have any little quirks when it comes to writing? why do you write the stories you do? what is your inspiration? — you ofc don’t have to answer all of these specifically and if you’ve already answered something similar then please feel free to disregard, but really, i’d just love for a cheeky little look into your mind.

and also, congratulations on your milestone, love. you are one of the most beautiful people i’ve ever met and i’m so genuinely grateful for our friendship <3

fjdslkfdsjfkldjf I’m speechless Mae djfldskf 🥺💙 I love you so much.

Hopefully this doesn’t turn into too much of an essay but here we go. I shall open my heart to you hehe.

Where do your ideas come from?/ What is your inspiration? I don’t know exactly to be honest, they organically happen. I watch a lot of movies though, and I love horror/thriller/action movies so I would say a lot of my ideas have been shaped by that. Sometimes I’ll watch a porn and get sex position inspirations. My biggest inspiration comes from music. For example, my series As I Sleep stemmed entirely from how the song As I Sleep by Tobtok made me feel. I’m a very emotive writer, so a lot of ideas come from emotion for me. I have depression and chronic illness, so it’s not hard to access that dark part of my psyche that has all these little ideas locked away.

How do you draft a story? For series, I normally have a general idea of what each chapter will entail, and will sometimes make changes as I go, cause sometimes when you write you end up going a different direction. For oneshots, I’ll just dot point the key scenes I want to hit and then it almost plays like a movie in my head. It’s really hard to explain. I have aphantasia which means I have no minds eye, and I can’t imagine anything visually, so I kind of just blast music and feel and the words just end up spilling out. At the moment I’m writing a drabble for this sleepover and to be honest I didn’t plan much, I’m just letting it flow.

Do you have any little quirks when it comes to writing? The fact that I have aphantasia is defs a quirk of mine. Because I can’t see anything I have to be listening to music super loud to write and also have to be writing on a keyboard, cause otherwise I lose my flow. I can’t see what I’m writing in my head, so it’s important for me to capture the scene as I feel it.

Why do you write the stories you do? I think for so long I tried to suppress that fucked up part of me that wanted these dark scenarios. I was ashamed, and I was scared. But as part of my self acceptance writing has helped me in accepting these dark fantasies as part of who I am. My stories are melded by my emotions and experiences in life, and it’s my way of expressing myself. Basically, it’s okay to be fucked up. I’ve been through a lot in my life, both in my personal life and the heavy things I have seen because of my career, and these stories are an outlet and part of the decompartmentalisation.

Sorry this is so long sjdflskdjfkl happy to answer any follow up questions.

part of my lake house getaway

[shiningwonderland]

Ren Jinguji (Repeat)

Translator: Akari (Twitter: akari)

Proofreader: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editors: Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail), Lacey (Twitter: fairyharp), Mae (Twitter: itoshikimaegirl)

June — Looking Up at the Sky Rhapsody

It’s June. The days are often rainy and some are cooler than in May. And yet….

Jinguji-san is as passionate as ever.

Ren Jinguji: Hi, little lambs. Looking as cute as ever, I see.

Female Student B: Kyaaa!! Jinguji-san!!

He says charming words to the girls and blows heart-melting kisses all over the place.

Syo Kurusu: He has no standards, as always. Haruka, I don’t know how you can partner up with a guy like him.

Haruka Nanami: Jinguji-san is a very inviting and very attractive man. I think that’s why the other girls can’t leave him alone.

Rather, I’m sorry I'm not worthy of him.

Jinguji-san’s song was wonderful!

I only listened to one chorus, but I could feel the difference between our abilities. His musical sensibilities are way above mine.

I think he doesn’t come to practice because I’m not good enough.

Haruka Nanami: I have to work hard.

Jinguji-san’s color... the mood around him, his natural sense of style, that natural charisma….

His presence that entraps everything around him and doesn’t let go is something I’ve come to understand over the last two months, but....

I just can’t find the right “sound”.

At first, when I just heard his voice, I had an image of it, and the sound started to come together. However, the more I get to know him… the more I see his many faces and the more confused I am by his depth.

The song to be sung by Jinguji-san.

There must be a song that only Jinguji-san can sing, but….

I just can’t grasp the melody.

I think we need to talk about it, even if I have to force him, and give it shape note by note.

Haruka Nanami: …

I was staring at Jinguji-san.

And then….

Ren Jinguji: Huh. I think I’m feeling an intense gaze….

Jinguji-san sighs and comes to my seat.

Huh, oh. My heart’s not prepared for this….

Ren Jinguji: What do you want? If you stare at me like that, you’re going to burn a hole through me.

Select the phrase!

T-to practice… (+ 25 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I sure would love for you to come to practice.

Ah! I couldn’t help but to be honest….

Ren Jinguji: Oh, is that all you want? Why don’t we go somewhere else for once?

Somewhere else...?

Ren Jinguji: Nothing comes to mind?

It would be really, really fun to go somewhere with Jinguji-san, but if you ask me where exactly….

Truthfully, I just want him to come practice… I’d like to hear him sing.

Haruka Nanami: I’m sorry. Going out is nice and all, but I really want to hear you sing.

Ren Jinguji: Don’t be sorry. I was just asking. However… you really like music, don’t you?

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

All my life, I’ve always had the most fun playing the piano.

I never went anywhere with friends and was always alone. Music was my only friend.

So… I have no idea where to go.

Instead, I’d like Jinguji-san to know more about the joy of music and I’d also like to try to create music together with someone.

Ryuya Hyuga: Hey, homeroom’s already started. How long are you gonna keep making noise? I could hear you all the way down the hallway.

When Hyuga-sensei arrives, the girls who had just surrounded Jinguji-san go back to their seats obediently.

Ryuya Hyuga: Now, do you guys know about Ohayaho~ News?

Male Student A: Yeees! I know it!

Most of the students nod. Of course, I also know about it.

Ryuya Hyuga: It’s sudden, but that program... is coming to our school tomorrow.

Ohayaho~ News.

It’s a morning news program with the idol I admire, HAYATO-sama, as the reporter.

For each broadcast, HAYATO-sama visits a popular location and then does his best to tell the viewers about it in a cheerful and energetic way.

And Ohayaho~ News is coming to our school….

That means….

I might be able to meet HAYATO-sama!!!

Ah! I have to keep it together.

I’m aiming to be a professional, so I can’t act like a fangirl....

But… I’m really… happy!!

I shouldn’t bother him when the day comes. I’ll watch him from the shadows of the school building.

Ryuya Hyuga: I’ve been told he wanted a student reporter as support… Jinguji, the president has designated you.

Ren Jinguji: The boss?

Ryuya Hyuga: Yeah, he has a plan. Will you do it?

Ren Jinguji: I can't disobey an order from the boss.

Ryuya Hyuga: OK, well, we’re counting on you.

Today is the day. For some reason, Hijirikawa-sama is at the meeting place.

Masato Hijirikawa: Jinguji… you’re late. It is almost time for the show to start.

Ren Jinguji: ...Masato Hijirikawa...? ...Why are you here?

Oh, this feeling again….

When Jinguji-san and Hijirikawa-sama come face to face, the atmosphere changes drastically.

There’s a tense mood in the air, just as hostile as they’ve been before between them.

Masato Hijirikawa: What? Didn’t you hear from the principal?

Today's report is "An in-depth expose on school life of the two major conglomerates!”

Apparently, he is going to present our school lives.

I do not want to disclose too much about my household, but… there is no way around these circumstances.

Ren Jinguji: Household…? Given the rival relationship between two major conglomerates, it’s inevitable that they’ll be compared to each other.

For a long time, there have been comparisons about everything between our families. To think this would continue even after I’ve come to this school, and have this exposed to the world….

It seems that you and I are doomed to fight no matter how far we go.

Listening to the conversation between them, it seems that this is not a relationship that began yesterday or today.

It’s a conflict involving not only the people in question, but also their households. Looking at their expressions, it seems like there’s a deeper connection between the two of them than most people would imagine.

I’m Jinguji-san’s partner, but I guess I still don’t know much about him.

Masato Hijirikawa: There is no need to fight.

Ren Jinguji: How naive. Even with no points involved, we’re going to be on the same screen. The viewers will judge us based on things like popularity and our conglomerates’ powers.

This is a noteworthy battle, whether we like it or not. It means you and I will go on fighting.

At that moment,

The ground where the two of them are standing shakes violently.

Ren Jinguji: Ah! An earthquake?

Bump!

Boom!

It’s the principal who breaks through the ground.

Shining Saotome: Mr. Jinguji is right! This IS a noteworthy battle! AND I’ll add a point system as well!

Haruka Nanami: Points? But… how will you do that?

Shining Saotome: Hehehe. That is….

Haruka Nanami: What is it?

Shining Saotome: What would it be? YOU right there, answer please!

Haruka Nanami: Eh? M-me?!!!

Suddenly, the principal points a finger at me. I don’t understand… but I have no choice but to answer.

Select the phrase!

Idol Power? (+0 Love +10 Music)

Shining Saotome: Hahahaaa! That’s right!!!

This is an idol training school, so it’s all about idol power!!

Haruka Nanami: Idol power… but how…?

Shining Saotome: Mmm, like this moment. Let’s explain it on TV instead.

Soon afterwards, HAYATO-sama and his staff arrive.

HAYATO: Ohayaho~! Ten million HAYATO fans all over Japan, how are nya?

Today, we’re here at Saotome Academy to bring cheer to you all!

And today, these two people will give you a tour around the school instead of me!

Masato Hijirikawa: My name is Masato Hijirikawa. I look forward to working with you.

Ren Jinguji: I’m Ren Jinguji. Today, I’ll show all you viewers out there just how charming this school is.

HAYATO: Come to think of it, today, instead of just presenting the school, the two of you are going to have a reporting competition, right?

Shining Saotome: That’s right! The two of you will have to compete with all the power you have and all the power of each conglomerate!

HAYATO: AH, this is the school principal, SHINING SAOTOME!

He’s a legend, so I don’t need to introduce him to you because everyone knows about him.

Shining Saotome: Hahahaaa~ I’m the national beautiful boy idol!

Ren Jinguji: Beautiful boy…?

Masato Hijirikawa: Yes, and he even called himself “national”. Should we interfere here?

Ren Jinguji: No, let’s leave it to HAYATO for now.

Jinguji-san and Hijirikawa-san seem to be talking in a whisper, but I can’t hear them clearly from where I am.

Shining Saotome: Anyway, you two are going to have to report on how gorgeous and haaandsome you guys are!

This is also publicity for Saotome Academy, so give it your all! It will also affect your future grades!

And you, yes, YOU in front of the TV will decide who wins and who loses!

We’re going to have the audience vote to decide which of the two is better! In the end, the one with more votes wins!

Now, now, to vote, use number one for Mr. Hijirikawa and number two for Mr. Jinguji at the end of the following number on the screen!

And if you vote for Shining Saotome, add a number three respectively, beep boop bop! Give us a call!

Masato Hijirikawa: I understand the rules, but why is the principal the third option?

Ren Jinguji: Who knows. But, well, he’s just trying to show off anyway, right?

Shining Saotome: Hahaha~ Correct answer! Then, then, the report game starts now! But first, a commercial!

The school principal points his index finger at the camera.

Then the staff members start to move in a hurry.

Ren Jinguji: Points, huh...? It might be a good opportunity. We’ve always been compared to something, even between our households.

Being in different grades made it difficult to see clearly which one of us is better, but with this….

This time, it’ll be crystal clear who is the winner and the loser.

Masato Hijirikawa: There you go again. I do not understand why you are so concerned with winning and losing. You weren’t when we were children.

Ren Jinguji: I’ve forgotten about those days. I just… I just want to show that I’m better than you.

Masato Hijirikawa: Show? To whom? To the world?

Ren Jinguji: I’m not obliged to tell you that. Besides… I haven’t got anyone to prove myself to… not anymore.

Jinguji-san mutters something in a whisper.

Ren Jinguji: Anyway, as long as it's a match, I'll just do my best. Will you support me too?

I am standing in the corner where I wouldn’t get in the way of the broadcast’s filming when Jinguji-san approaches me.

Select the phrase!

Yes, I’d be happy to! (+25 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Of course, I’ll support you. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!

Ren Jinguji: Heh. Good girl. I like honest girls.

Haruka Nanami: L-LIKE?!!!!!

Ren Jinguji: Hmm? Something wrong?

Haruka Nanami: I-i-it’s nothing!

It’s not like he means something deep, but even though I know he doesn’t….

I was surprised when he said “like”.

It’s the first time somebody has said that to me.

Soon after, the power match between the Hijirikawa conglomerate and Jinguji conglomerate begins.

First, it’s Jinguji-san’s turn. He’s bold enough to wear a swimsuit… as he presents the pool.

Ren Jinguji: Heh. I’m confident in my reporting skills. I won’t lose to Hijirikawa.

Jinguji-san stands in front of the TV camera with a daring smile on his face.

Ren Jinguji: This here is the pride of Saotome Academy, the indoor pool. The pool is completely enclosed by glass walls, and it’s even soundproofed. The ceiling is retractable, perfect for sunbathing on a sunny day.

Would you like to swim with me, all you little lambs watching out there?

I’ll show you not only how to swim, but also every step of falling in love.

He winks as he says that.

H-he… looks so cool! I’m sure there’ll be a lot of squealing voices on the other side of the TV!

It was silly of me to think the swimsuit would be too much. As we watch, the audience vote counter displayed in the corner of the TV screen fills with votes for Jinguji-san.

Incidentally, the results of the audience vote are shown as bars, with Jinguji-san’s displayed in red and Hijirikawa-sama’s displayed in blue.

Haruka Nanami: Amazing….

George: ... It’s only natural.

Suddenly, I hear a voice from behind me. Startled, I turn around to find George, Jinguji-san’s butler, standing there!

I didn’t notice him at all…. When did he…?

Jii: Mhmm! No, this isn’t good, we must not allow this! We must go on the offensive!!

Masato Hijirikawa: But I do not behave like that….

Jii: No! Young Master, there is no way you can lose to someone like him! Come on, this way....

Perhaps Hijirikawa-sama is not good at improvisation, because Jii-san is holding out a cue card on the other side of the camera.

Masato Hijirikawa: ...T-this is… the… rooftop. It is open to students…. Many of them use it during their lunch break….

A-at night... the stars are beautiful. And…!!!!!!!!

Hijirikawa-sama’s face freezes at the sight of the cue card,then instantly turns bright red.

Masato Hijirikawa: I-I’m sure that the stars reflected in your eyes would be so beautiful that I would be drawn into your gaze.

After saying that much, Hijirikawa-sama takes a single deep breath. Then, he looks straight into the camera.

Masato Hijirikawa: One day, I wish to view this night sky with just the two of us…. Is it sinful of me to feel that way? … No, no matter the weight of the sin….

… I long for you…. For the moment I can hold you in my arms….

The rooftop is silent. It’s like watching a scene from a drama.

We’re all drawn in by the performance. It must be the same for the audience because Hijirikawa-sama’s vote count has gone up a lot.

After that, every time Jinguji-san reports, his votes go up dramatically….

And each time Hijirikawa-sama conveys a scene, his votes also increase rapidly.

Moreover, perhaps as a demonstration of the power of the conglomerates, there is an explanation of the amazing musical instruments donated by both parties and the equipment developed by the companies.

It’s turning into a bit of a conglomerate promotion situation.

There’s a state-of-the-art computer and a sophisticated electronic piano in the computer room.

There’s a tremendously accurate mixer in the recording room.

Not only that, but they also lined up luxury cars owned by their households in the schoolyard.

It’s a mess with private helicopters flying in and out.

And so on.

I’m also doing my best to help Jinguji-san change his clothes and carry the luggage he asked me to carry, but….

It’s kind of dizzying because there are so many things happening that are beyond anything I could have imagined.

I don’t usually think that much about it, but now I’m realizing that both of them really live in a different dimension.

While the people around them make a fuss, the two of them don’t flaunt what they have, so they must think this is all normal.

Ryuya Hyuga: I see, so this is why Jinguji and I weren’t told about today’s plans until the last minute. If I had known in advance, I’d have stopped it.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Hyuga-sensei.

Ryuya Hyuga: They’re ridiculous, aren’t they...? ... Well, for me, as long as the school facilities stay intact, I have no complaints….

Haruka Nanami: Um… this is on such a grand scale, I don’t know what to think anymore.

Ryuya Hyuga: Well, it’s dealin’ with two of the biggest companies in Japan. There’s also the fate they share.

Even if they don’t personally agree with this rivalry, they have no choice but to participate to keep up their households’ images.

Anyway, looks like the servants are getting more heated than those guys are.

Haruka Nanami: Fate…?

Ryuya Hyuga: Hm? What, you don’t know?

Haruka Nanami: Yes. I know that the two major conglomerates are rivals, but….

Ryuya Hyuga: To put it simply, they’re competitors. Apparently, the Jinguji conglomerate was originally bigger.

Once, when the Hijirikawa conglomerate management was declining, a considerable number of subsidiaries were absorbed by the Jinguji conglomerate.

But ten years later, the Hijirikawa conglomerate took them back by fairly forceful means.

In fact, it seems that they tried to cut down the company affiliated with the Jinguji household.

Haruka Nanami: They were… competing for affiliates? Somehow, it looks like the game Hana Ichi Monme, where two groups compete for members by playing rock-paper-scissors.

Ryuya Hyuga: It’s not that trivial, but… that’s what it’s all about. After a fierce takeover battle, internal affairs were disrupted and even the Japanese economy was affected.

A-amazing! It was on such a huge scale that even all of Japan became involved.

Ryuya Hyuga: Somehow, they agreed that they wouldn’t buy out each other’s conglomerate, but… their resentment from back then probably remains.

Such a thing could be…. I wonder if that’s why Jinguji-san considers Hijirikawa-sama a rival more than seems necessary.

George: At this rate, this fight’s not ending....

Jii: Hm, looks like this isn’t settling.... In that case….

George-san and Jii-san turn away from each other and leave in opposite directions, their brows wrinkled.

... What should I do? I’m kind of getting anxious.

Select the phrase!

Let them be. (+10 Love +0 Music)

Ren Jinguji: Hm? What’s going on? You have quite the expression…. What’s the problem?

While I’m standing in the corridor, not knowing what to do and unable to move, Jinguji-san calls out to me.

Haruka Nanami: U-um, George-san and Jii-san are….

Ren Jinguji: Hm? Oh. Is it sabotage? That’s something George would think of.

He put a thumbtack in Hijirikawa’s shoe earlier. Not that he’s the kind of guy who would fall for such a thing… and… neither am I.

Suddenly, Jinguji-san pulls me to his shoulder.

Haruka Nanami: U-um….

And then….

BANG CLANG!

From the ceiling, a large metal sink….

No, a wash basin crashes down.

Haruka Nanami: U-um, this is….

Ren Jinguji: Sabotage… right? It’s probably the work of Jii-san on Hijirikawa’s side. Truly a classic trick.

Sabotage…. This is….

A direct hit to the head like this would have been very painful.

I wonder if there are going to be dangerous traps everywhere if we just let things go on like this....

I can’t let that happen. Absolutely not. I-I have to do something.

After that, I found George-san and Jii-san trying to sabotage things and I did something about it.

Because… I don’t want the two of them to get hurt….

George: Hm. This will be enough.

George-san smirks, mutters, and walks away.

But right nearby….

Masato Hijirikawa: ... Here’s the athletic field…. In addition to being used for physical education classes, it is also used by the athletic department after school.

Hijirikawa-sama is explaining about the athletic field….

Was George-san setting some kind of trap again? Anyway, I have to do something.

With that in mind, I approach the spot, watching where I step… but….

Haruka Nanami: Ah. AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Ouch, ouch, ouch. U-um…. This is… a pitfall… isn’t it? I fell… in it, right?

Fortunately, I didn’t sprain anything. Maybe it’s because the soil is very soft.

I just….

Haruka Nanami: Erm… the sky is far away….

I look up and see that the entrance to the hole is very far away, revealing how deep the hole is.

Haruka Nanami: ... I wonder… if I can climb this….

The ground is damp and as I move I hear the sound of splashing water. The sides of the hole are also moist with water.

It looks like water is seeping in from all sides, gradually filling the hole.

At that moment, I imagine a newspaper article with the title, “High school girl drowns in a pitfall.”

This is terrible!!

Haruka Nanami: And if a scandal like that happens at the school, it’ll cause a great deal of trouble. Hmmm….

... I have to try to climb somehow, after all.

Haruka Nanami: O... kay…. One…. Ah!

The soil here is soft and crumbles after a short climb.

No matter how hard I try, I slowly slip down. I don’t think I can reach the top.

Haruka Nanami: Is it… impossible… to climb? What if I stay like this forever…?

I’m sure Tomo-chan will be sad if I’m gone….

And everyone in the class…. How would it be for Jinguji-san in particular?

I wonder if I’m being of some help to him.

I’m still working on the song, but I think Jinguji-san can make his debut on his own.

He’s a person who wants to live a free life, so he probably wouldn’t want me to persistently ask him to practice.

... I guess he may not be in trouble even if I’m gone. I’m sure he’ll find a new partner in no time….

Another partner, not me? Jinguji-san will team up with someone other than me….

Haruka Nanami: E-eh…?

It’s funny. I’m kind of crying.

When I wipe the tears off with the back of my hand, the mud gets into my eyes and more tears come out.

I don’t… like that idea. I want to write a song for Jinguji-san, a song made for his voice.

... If that’s not even possible, at least I want to hear his voice one last time.

Haruka Nanami: Jinguji-san…!!

And, at that moment.

Ren Jinguji: Geez. Just when I thought you were out of sight, I happen to find you in a place like this!

Haruka Nanami: Eh…?

I can hear Jinguji-san’s voice from above the hole.

Am I mishearing? Maybe because I wanted to hear his voice for the last time?

But, apparently, I’m wrong.

Immediately, a rope ladder is thrown into the hole and Jinguji-san climbs down.

Ren Jinguji: You’re so covered in mud… and your tears…. Your pretty face is a mess.

Jinguji-san sighs and wipes my face with a handkerchief.

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you very much. But… why?

I mumble to myself, stunned. After all, it wouldn’t be a problem for Jinguji-san if I was gone.

Besides, he’s in the middle of a game and doesn’t have time to deal with me.

He wouldn’t even notice I’m not there… is what I thought.

Because I’m not necessary to him.

Ren Jinguji: I was looking at the monitor and I just happened to see the moment you disappeared.

Haruka Nanami: But… you’re in the middle of an important battle now….

Ren Jinguji: Yeah, it’s an important moment, so I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible. Come….

While saying that, Jinguji-san extends his hand.

Haruka Nanami: U-um… I’m muddy right now… so… erm… you’ll get dirty.

If he stands in front of the camera with muddy clothes even though the match is still going on….

Ren Jinguji: So? I have plenty of spare clothes.

Haruka Nanami: B-but… the audience votes… will decrease during the match….

Ren Jinguji: Do you want to be saved or not?

Eh? Is Jinguji-san angry?

Haruka Nanami: I want you to help me… but… since it’s a match… I want you to win….

Ren Jinguji: If that’s what you think, don’t go getting into trouble so easily, princess. The prince can’t always come to help you.

Haruka Nanami: I’m sorry.

Jinguji-san sighs again as I start feeling discouraged.

Ren Jinguji: Come on…. You don’t want to be in this place forever. You’d end up being depressed. Let’s go.

Jinguji-san picks me up forcibly and carries me out of the hole.

While he’s not as gentle as he normally is while escorting, right now he feels powerful and reliable.

It’s different from usual. However, I’m sure this is one real side of him.

Haruka Nanami: U-um… thank you.

Ren Jinguji: Don’t thank me. That was George’s mismanagement. I’m glad you’re okay.

With a very kind expression, he gently strokes my head.

Haruka Nanami: Jinguji-san… thank you very, very much!

It was dark and I felt helpless, and I wondered if I was going to die like that, but I thought it’d be okay because no one would be troubled…. I was so sad.

Ren Jinguji: Hey, hey. That’s what you were thinking about? Geez, this kid....

Haruka Nanami: Yes, because I haven’t been of any help. I’ve been causing you so much trouble….

Ren Jinguji: If you feel that way, you should try harder. Are you going to lose the bet before you’ve even composed the song?

Besides, I have a certain amount of trust in you as a partner. I don’t want you to leave without telling me.

Haruka Nanami: ... Jinguji-san, do you accept me as your partner?

I thought that maybe I was being annoying.

Ren Jinguji: Isn’t it obvious? Or what? Are you questioning my decision to choose you? I’m still a good judge of character.

I don’t want you to underestimate me. What’s more, I wouldn’t be talking to you if I wasn’t really interested at all.

Haruka Nanami: ... So, why don’t you join me at practice?

Ren Jinguji: Lady, are you going to make a song that is far different from my personality and that I can’t sing without practicing hard?

Haruka Nanami: ... No, as much as possible, I want to create something that is easy for you to express….

Ren Jinguji: Right? And you’re talented enough to do it… or that’s what I think, at least. That’s why I chose you.

I’m busy. I can’t spend a lot of time on just one person, but I’m sure you can make it work on your own.

I may come practice if you make me feel like doing it.. If I think it’s worth it, then it is.

Haruka Nanami: R-really?! Yes!! I’ll do my best!

So, he trusts me…. Moreover, he might even come to practice.

That way I can make songs that suit him better.

Ah, I’m so happy! I have to work hard!

Ren Jinguji: And well…. At the very least, I’d be in trouble if you were gone.

So don’t think that no one would be bothered by your disappearance.

There isn't a single person who isn't needed somehow—it's no good to think you'd be any different.

At that moment….

Rumble rumble rumble. Boom!

Out of the blue, the principal descends upon us.

Shining Saotome: Beautiful love duo! My tears are f-f-flowing like two beautiful waterfalls! I'm absolutely EXPLODING with EMOTIONS!

Suddenly, the principal appears and sheds a waterfall of tears.

Shining Saotome: Thanks to YOUR passionate friendship, Saotome School’s image is soaring UP, UP, UP!

So, this time I’m going to show you a special tour of my secret home!

Usually, this trade secret is not disclosed, but in honor of Mr. Jinguji’s passionate friendship….

This time only, I’ll show you a sneak peak! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Right now, I have no idea what is happening or why.

After that, Ohayaho~ News runs overtime to showcase the principal’s house.

His home is absolutely gorgeous, with a western castle-like house and then a Japanese-style castle kept as a second home.

Also, there are many facilities at Saotome Academy built using private funds from the principal.

On campus, there are entertainment facilities such as amusement parks, movie theaters, hot spring inns, and, to my surprise, he even has a vacation home on the moon….

Shining Saotome: Ha ha haaa~ This is just a part of it!

Both Jinguji-san and Hijirikawa-sama are stunned by this extraordinary financial power.

And the results of the vote say….

It turns out that the principal, who joined the match unannounced and boasted about his lavish lifestyle, has come out on top!

Shining Saotome: So deservedly! Always aim for the top if you can! That’s what a legendary idol does!

ME is number one!

With that, the principal proudly puffs out his chest.

Syo Kurusu: Wow, that’s super immature. He just did everybody in at the end.... What was that match all about?

Tokiya Ichinose: It’s useless to ask. That's just the kind of entity he is.

Although Syo-kun and Tokiya-san say that, I still think the principal is wonderful.

And even more than that, now Jinguji-san looks even more radiant than before.

He was willing to get himself dirty, even to the point of throwing away his own important match, to help me.

I’m so happy that I was told that I can help.

I know I have to work hard.

And the show has come to an end.

HAYATO:Your hosts were HAYATO and….

Ren Jinguji: ... Ren Jinguji and….

Masato Hijirikawa: ... Masato Hijirikawa.

Director: Cut! Okay!

HAYATO:Hehe. That was great, both of you! Good job!

Ren Jinguji: Good job.

Masato Hijirikawa: Good job.

Shortly thereafter, HAYATO-sama and his staff leave the school.

Ren Jinguji: In the end, we didn’t find out who would win between us.

Masato Hijirikawa: That is fine, then. We shouldn’t fight if we don’t have to.

Ren Jinguji: You have the option. You’re the eldest son, so you’re naturally ahead of me. That’s why you can afford to be like that.

Masato Hijirikawa: That is not the case. Is your position, free of restraints from your family, not more advantageous?

Ren Jinguji: You can only say that because you’re the one who can go beyond the door. How miserable it is to be someone who isn’t allowed to even open the door….

I just don’t like the fact that you have unconditional happiness. That’s why I have to surpass you to be recognized.

Masato Hijirikawa: What are you saying? Happiness…? I... never….

Ren Jinguji: At least you’re cherished by your family, as the eldest son.

Masato Hijirikawa: Mm, maybe so. Just... as a successor to the household.

Ren Jinguji: That’s enough of a reason. Anyway, we’ll settle this again sooner or later.

Masato Hijirikawa: Do what you want…. You have no idea how I feel or how hard things are for me

And so, both of them walked off in different directions.

Haruka Nanami: Um, Jinguji-san! Good job!

I offer a towel to Jinguji-san.

Ren Jinguji: Oh, good job… but I don’t need a towel. Why don’t you wipe your face before giving it to me? Your face is still muddy.

Select the phrase!

So are your clothes. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: First, we need to get the mud off your clothes.

Ren Jinguji: I told you that I have plenty of spare clothes. It’s as simple as taking these things off. George, get me a different uniform….

As soon as Jinguji-san orders that, George quickly takes out a clean uniform…. Amazing!

Is it possible that he carries it with him at all times?

Ren Jinguji: In the end, there was no winner or loser.

Haruka Nanami: Do you want to beat Hijirikawa-sama…?

Ren Jinguji: Yeah, of course. To the extent that the world recognizes that he is no match for me.

It doesn’t matter what your birth order is. That doesn’t make you superior. I’m going to prove it here at this school.

Which one is better…? The graduation audition will reveal it most clearly.

But in a graduation audition, the quality of the song will also be evaluated.

I don’t know what kind of music Hijirikawa-sama’s partner will create, but I can’t lose!

Jinguji-san saved my life. Also… I definitely want to see him succeed as a top idol.

And... he also accepted me as his partner.

That’s why I’m not lost anymore! I’m the one who can make Jinguji-san shine brighter than anyone else….

Just through my feelings and music. I’ll work harder and harder and definitely debut with him!

I swear it firmly in my heart.

Mini Game

Ryuya Hyuga: Today I’m gonna test your lyric-writing sensibilities. Almost all songs are made before lyrics, but sometimes it’s the other way around. Lyric interpretation is very important.

Moreover, even if you’re a composer, you’ll still be writing lyrics. It’s good to polish your taste. Listen up! Lyrics aren't poems.

Think carefully about composing your melody, making it catchy, and treasuring the image of the song in your mind.

You’ll be asked to write your own lyrics for the assigned song. Choose one of several words in a fill-in-the-blank format. Use your sensibility to choose the lyrics that best suit the song.

I’ll grade it for you later. Now go ahead and give it a try!

S Rank

The next day, I show the lyrics I wrote for the test to Jinguji-san.

Ren Jinguji: Yes, you have good taste.

You not only have great taste in music, but with lyrics as well.

You must’ve been born with the talent for music.

Haruka Nanami: Eh… ah… I’m not that impressive….

“Born with the talent for music”.... I would be so happy if that were true.

However, that doesn’t sound possible, so I’ll continue to try my best.

Chapter End

[heauxplesslydevoted]

And They Were Roommates (Bryce Lahela x MC)

Summary: A surprise leads to a major shift in Bryce and Casey’s relationship

A/N: Eeeek, this is my first time ever writing a Bryce x MC fic! The day you guys see me writing something not Ethan centric is the day you should play the lotto because it’s more rare than a unicorn sighting.

Anywho....please enjoy!

Tags: @drakewalker04 @canknot @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @maurine07 @badchoicesposts @ermidc @sundaescreamcheese @danijimenezv @starrystarrytrouble @the-pale-goddess @gogotomago95 @have-aheart @aworldoffandoms @zaffrenotes @anotherbeingsworld @to-fangirl-or-not-to-fangirl @nazariolahela @the-unconquered-queen @writinghereandthere @omgjasminesimone @parkerattano @silent-storms-posts

~v~

“Okay, are we going out to lunch?” Casey asks, twisting her fingers into her skirt. From the passenger seat of Bryce’s car, the bustling streets of Boston fly past her. A tendril of her curly hair whips around in the wind, settling on her lip as it sticks to her tacky lip gloss. Bryce is a freaking speed demon and drives too fast for her liking.

But she does like looking at him when he’s behind the wheel. His grip on the wheel is relaxed, much like his posture, slouched low in the seat, right hand drumming against the gear shift. While it’s still winter, the sun is shining brightly, making the highlights in his hair and the light dusting of freckles adorning his nose stand out. Her boyfriend—even thinking that word makes her giddy—makes a pretty sight to behold.

“No, that’s not the plan. But we can go get food once we’re done,” Bryce answers..

“Ice skating?” Casey guesses. She watches as he shakes his head. “But ice skating sounds so fun.”

“We can go ice skating some other time, Case.”

“We’re going to the movies?”

Bryce chuckles. She’s been trying to guess all morning what he has planned for the day, and despite getting every single guess wrong, Casey comes up with another one at the drop of a hat. The persistence is admirable. “You’ll find out soon enough. Stop being so nosy.”

Casey pouts, feigning hurt. “I resent that! I prefer to be called naturally inquisitive. It makes me sound smart.”

“You’re nosy,” Bryce deadpans. “But don’t fret, we’ll be there in like, 5 minutes tops.”

He’s been excited from the moment he told her to get dressed, and Casey can see that his leg is bouncing up and down underneath the steering wheel. Whatever he has planned, he’s really excited about it, so Casey decided to keep quiet and enjoy the rest of the ride.

They enjoy the rest of the short ride, Casey scrolling through Bryce’s different Spotify playlists until she settles on the perfect song, but he’s pulling in and parking his car before she can even hit play.

An apartment complex was not what she was expecting to see. It’s a very nice apartment complex, located a few blocks away from Boston University. Casey can see the college students milling around, some adults walking their dogs, a few older more established couples, some with kids, some without going in and out of the building.

Now her curiosity is piqued. Is Bryce dragging her along to some surgeon friend’s apartment? Is this his idea of a Saturday adventure? Granted, he never promised her an adventure, just a surprise, and while she likes most of his surgical cohort, she’d rather be doing something else. Nonetheless, Casey doesn’t say anything, letting Bryce intertwine their fingers and lead her through the building.

They ride up the elevator in silence until they reach the 4th floor. It isn’t until Bryce reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key do the alarms go off on her brain. “Bryce? Did you–”

“I got a new apartment!” Bryce exclaims, cutting her off. “Surprise!”

Once the door is open, he’s pulling her in, his excitement palpable. Casey looks around the place. It’s unfurnished, the hardwood floors beneath them bright and freshly waxed. And even though she hasn’t looked around, she can already tell it’s much larger than his current 1 bedroom.

“Oh...wow,” is all that manages to come out of her mouth.

“I know! It’s in Keiki’s school district, thank god. And it’s a brand new unit, all stainless steel appliances, marble and quartz countertops, which are apparently huge deals when you’re apartment hunting. In-unit washer and dryer, walk-in closets, there’s a gym and a pool downstairs, a game room–”

Casey watches him as his animatedly rattles off all of the features in the apartment. His face is flush, pink with excitement, his words are breathless and tumbling out of his mouth all at once. She takes a step forward, cupping his face between both hands. “Bryce, I think you should stop and breathe.”

The command makes him flush hard, now from embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You can continue now.”

“That was pretty much it. The main draw is that it’s a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment, so I don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore. Now Keiki and I will each have our own space. Do you think she’ll like it?”

“Will the 15 year old girl like having her own room, and not having to share a bathroom with her older brother?” Casey nods. “Absolutely. Keiki is a lucky duck.” She takes a few steps further into the apartment, silently appraising it. It’s beautiful from what she can see, and she hasn’t even seen the bedrooms. “Question: how are you affording this place? You’re a surgical resident, living in Boston is expensive, and I’m pretty sure Sallie Mae is eating most of your paychecks.”

Bryce looks down at his feet, shuffling them back and forth much to Casey’s dismay. He’s going to scuff the floors doing that. “I uh...I talked to my parents.”

“When?”

“A little over a month ago, before I enrolled Keiki in school. I called my parents and gave them quite the earful about not contacting Keiki once since she’s been in Boston, and I kinda let them have it. Turns out I’ve been holding in a lot of pent up...stuff regarding my parents.”

Casey’s eyes soften at his confession. They hardly ever have conversations about his parents, and when they do, it’s never good. “You want to talk about it?”

Bryce shakes his head, memories of that conversation trying to bubble to the surface. His mother tried her hand at making awkward small talk as if they hadn’t gone years without talking, while his father said nothing at all. He bites the inside of his cheek, willing the bad memory to go away. Negative thoughts of his parents don’t need to invade this space.  “Nah, it’s not important.”

Resisting the urge to call bullshit, Casey simply nods. “Agree to disagree, Bry. But we’ll table it for now and just continue your story.”

He’s grateful that she’s willing to listen, but not pushy enough to force him to talk, leaving the ball in his court. “Long story short, I told them that Keiki is welcome to stay with me in Boston and I wouldn’t make it public news that they all but abandoned their daughter and drag social services into things, if they allowed me to be her legal caregiver.”

“Really?”

“Yup. So I can be in charge of her education and medical decisions while she’s out here. It’s less permanent than me filing her guardianship, and my parents still legally have rights, but it makes things easier. And because of that, my parents are giving me a pretty generous monthly allowance for all of her expenses. Housing, food, school supplies, the works.”

“So child support?”

“Pretty much, yes. I didn’t ask for it, but the Lahelas like to throw money at their problems. Some of that money goes towards the rent here, the rest I put in a savings account for Keiki. I’ll gift her the money when she starts college, so she’ll have a bit of a nest egg, and won’t be dependent on ramen noodles and the McDermot’s dollar menu like I was.”

Bryce shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at Casey, trying to gauge her reaction. “I know I dumped a lot on you, and you probably think I’m insane for taking all of this on but–”

Casey wraps her arms around his waist and cuts him off with a quick kiss. “If I could look at you with literal heart eyes right now, I would.”

“Really?” 

“Really.” She leans forward, resting her head against the solid expanse of his chest. The faint scent of his laundry detergent and his cologne invade her senses, and she relishes in it. He smells like comfort, if there was ever such a thing. “I can’t believe you accomplished all of this in such a short period of time.”

“Well my lease was up, and I was trying to get Keiki situated in school, and it all sort of fell into place at the right time.”

“Stop trying to downplay it,” Casey orders. “You are strong, and brave, and you take initiative in any situation. I don’t know too many 27 year olds that would spring into action and volunteer to raise their teenage sisters, all while being a resident and trying to juggle their own personal life.”

The way she says it, the awe and idolatry in her voice makes his stomach flip. Bryce considers himself to be a pretty self-assured guy. He has a healthy level of self esteem, but something about Casey praising him always causes him to short circuit, without fail. “You make it sound so much cooler than it really is.”

“It is cool,” Carey argues. “You’re doing a noble thing, so let me give you compliments you deserve.”

He doesn’t meet her eyes immediately, the bashfulness still holding him tight. Eventually, Bryce looks up at her, her expression open and earnest. “You make me sound so much better than I really am.”

Casey grabs hold of his sweater and tugs him closer, forcing him to crane forward and be at her eye level. “Mhmm, it’s a hidden talent of mine. I happen to be an excellent salesperson.”

Bryce smirks, their lips barely brushing against each other, and mumbles “You’re such a dork,” before capturing her in a kiss. Casey responds instantly, matching his eagerness and fervor. It doesn’t take long for things to get more heated, his tongue slipping into her mouth, hands going to grip her waist.

She breaks to kiss to inhale sharply. “You’ve lived here for 5 minutes and you’re already trying to defile the place.”

“Can’t help it. You make me feel like a horny teenager again, baby.”

“Well stop it.”

Bryce rolls his eyes. “You’re no fun.”

“Come on loverboy, show me around. Give me the grand tour.”

They wander around the apartment at a leisurely pace, Casey pointing out all of the different things Bryce could buy to furnish the place—“What do you mean you’ve never gone to Home Goods?”—and admonishing his idea to shop on Craigslist. He’s an adult, not a college freshman, and his home should reflect that.

“You want to know what the best part is?” Bryce asks, leading Casey back to their starting point, the living room.

“What?”

“Keiki’s bedroom is on the other side of the apartment, separated by a pretty sizable living room.”

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and she shoves at his chest, laughing. “And? Are you trying to say something?”

“Yeah, that one of us—you—can be pretty loud at times.”

Her cheeks heat up and she blushes furiously. “Well I’ll make sure to keep it quiet on the nights that I sleep over.”

“What if you didn’t just spend the night over here?”

He instantly regrets the way he phrased that sentence because it sounds like he just told her he doesn’t want her in his apartment. Casey frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Sorry! That sounded weird.” He flushes, stumbling over his words. Something about Casey Valentine makes him very nervous. “That’s not what I meant, I promise.”

Bryce grabs both of Casey’s hands, holding them close to his chest. “Move in with me.”

Her eyes widen at the suggestion. He wants to do what? “What?”

“I spent all of last year tiptoeing around our relationship, trying to keep things light and breezy when I really didn’t want that. And it took you being in that...horrible accent for me to finally reveal the full extent of my feelings for you. Now that we’re together and official, I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“I would like to go to sleep with you every night, your ice cold feet pressed against my legs, and your curly hair tickling my nose because you’ve invaded my side of the bed. And I want to wake up to you every morning, because even though you think you look crazy in the morning, I think you’re absolutely beautiful. I want us to cook together every day, or just you because you’re a much better cook than I am.” Casey giggles at his jokes, which only spur him on further. “Besides Keiki, you’re the most important person I have, and I want you here with me, permanently.”

When Casey doesn’t say anything immediately, Bryce understands. He just dropped a bomb—a few bombs actually—right at her feet, she needs time to process. But the silence stretches until it grows into something long and uncomfortable, and a thin sheen of sweat forms at Bryce’s hairline. Did he just shoot himself in the foot? Did he seriously overestimate her feelings for him, and the nature of their relationship?

Before he can open his mouth to renege on the invitation, Casey speaks. “We’re going to have to talk to your landlord, or the property manager, because a new lease needs to be drawn up.”

“W-what?”

“I mean, I assume it’s just you and Keiki listed on the lease, and I don’t want to just be a permanent guest staying in your apartment. I want it to be our apartment, so I need to be on the lease agreement,” Casey explains. “And I know you said your parents cover most of the rent on this place, but I want to contribute, so I guess I’ll be in charge of the–”

She doesn’t get to finish talking because Bryce is on her in an instant, his mouth crashing into hers in a fiery kiss. His fingers dig into her hips, walking her backwards until her back bumps into the kitchen island. In a quick show of strength, Bryce lifts her onto the island, and Casey has to break the kiss to hiss. 

“Shit, that’s cold!”

“Sorry baby.” He’s not the least bit sorry, flashing her his signature smirk. “I’ll warm you up.”

“And you say I’m the dorky one,” Casey teases, laughing as Bryce kisses her between each word.

“You are,” he insists, kissing down her neck. She squirms away from him as his lips find a particularly sensitive spot, but he holds her in place. “We bring that out in each other.”

He kisses her a few more times, some softer than others, some so deep, she feels dizzy when he pulls away.

“We’re really going to do this?” Casey asks rhetorically. “This whole living together thing?”

“We are. I asked, and you said yes, so you’re stuck with me, little lady.” 

There’s a smile on his face, so huge, Casey really thinks he might blind her with his pearly white teeth. She hasn’t seen him this relaxed, this unabashedly happy in a while. She can’t help but to smile back.

“You have to let me have creative control on furniture and decorations though.”

“This apartment is going to look like a furniture store magazine spread.”

Casey nods. “It’ll smell like the inside of a Bath & Body Works store in here, too.”

“You’re going to go crazy on the candles, aren’t you?”

“Oh absolutely. They also have cute wall plug-ins.”

Bryce laughs. “I don’t care. You and Keiki can do whatever you want to the place.”

“Mhmm, now you’re talking my language, Lahela.”

They talk excitedly, basking in the fun that this new journey is going to bring their relationship. They don’t know how much time has passed when the conversation finally dwindles down.

“Hey, Bryce?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you let me down from here?” Casey asks, gesturing to the countertop. Bryce has her caged in, arms on either side of her. “Despite your best efforts to warm me up with a make-out session, this thing is freezing cold.”

“No one told you to wear a mini skirt like this in winter, you naughty school girl.”

“I resent that! This skirt is very cute, and it would’ve looked even cuter had you taken me ice skating.”

Bryce rolls his eyes. He’s gonna have to take this girl to the ice skating rink, and soon. He trails his hands up and down her legs, taking in all the goosebumps that have popped up on her smooth skin.

“You want to know where this skirt would look even better?”

“Where?”

Gripping the backs of her thighs, Bryce lifts Casey off of the countertop and into his arms. “The floor of our new bedroom.”