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hailing-stars · 4 years

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@febuwhump day 16: broken bones

such a softie

summary

“Told you it was disgusting,” says Tony, as Peter pulls the metal bar and flushes the toilet.

“Shut up,” says Peter. His voice was so weak and miserable, Tony felt a stab of guilt.

“Feeling better?” he asks. He reaches out, and covers his forehead with his hand. “You feel a little warm.”

“I’m fine,” says Peter. “Let’s go back and watch the film.”

“Kid,” says Tony. “You’re clearly sick. We’ll go home, and you can rest, and we’ll come back when you’re better. It isn’t like we have to see this one tonight.”

Peter develops a sickness at the movies, and Tony attempts to make him feel better.

“Parker,” says Tony.

They’re standing outside of the movie theater, their planned meeting destination, and Tony doesn’t think he can make it through the double doors without asking about what’s hanging on the boy’s arm.

“Please explain that hideous purse.”

“Oh,” says Peter. He tugs on the strap. “It’s May’s movie purse.”

It’s said with a tone that implies Tony should’ve already known this information, and as if that one, short sentence is enough to properly explain why the hell Peter has it and why it’s so ugly.

“And you’ve brought it out into the light of day because…”

“Because,” stresses Peter, “it’s tradition. It might not be fashionable, but it’s absolutely the best purse to sneak snacks into the theater. It’s got so many pockets!”

“You brought that to carry snacks?” asks Tony, unimpressed. “You realize they have a concession stand, right?”

“You’re rich so you don’t understand,” Peter tells him. “You gotta sneak snacks from the dollar store, Mr. Stark, or you’ll pay seven dollars just for a coke.”

“Uh huh,” says Tony. He slings an arm around Peter, and together, they start towards the entrance. “And since, as you so wisely just pointed out, I’m a literal billionaire, you didn’t stop to think I’d buy the snacks?”

“It’s the principle. Five dollars for a box of Sour Patch Kids is robbery.”

Tony laughs as they step inside the building. They purchase their tickets, have them checked at the end of the roped line, and step into the open area. The (apparently) evil concession stand is in front of them. Tony starts in that direction when Peter grips his arm to stop him.

“It’s my money, Pete -”

“Wait,” says Peter. The boy closes his eyes, and Tony sighes. He recognizes that goofy expression. He knows he’s about to get some kind of melodramatic speech. “Do you smell that?”

Tony humors him, and inhales the aroma of buttery popcorn. “Yep. That’d be the popcorn you refuse to let me buy.”

“Not just popcorn,” says Peter. “It’s the movie magic smell.”

“Christ,” says Tony. “I wish May would’ve told me you transformed into a strange little gremlin once you walked through the theater doors.”

Tony continues towards the concession stand, where Peter manages to violate his principles and uses Tony’s credit card to buy a large popcorn, a large Cherry Coke, assorted candy boxes, a package of chocolate chip cookies and a soft pretzel with a cup of cheese sauce.

He proves his original point quite well, when, between the two of them, they order enough food to charge over a hundred dollars to his card.

They haul all the food to their seats, and Tony thinks maybe they should’ve paid for an extra seat just for all the kid’s snacks. It’s a ridiculously large amount of food. If it were anyone else but Peter, Tony would’ve doubted they’d eat it all.

Peter Parker is a garbage disposal that never gets full. He’s devoured the pretzel and starts tearing open the package of cookies before the previews even begin.

Out of the corner of Tony’s eye, he watches as the kid does the most reprehensible thing he’s ever seen. He dunks the chocolate chip cookie in the cheese sauce and eats it.

Tony releases a long sigh. “Kid, that is literally one of the most disgusting things I’ve seen you do. Please do not -”

“-You wanna try it, Mr. Stark?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Seems boring, but okay.”

“If I were boring,” says Tony, “I wouldn’t be chaperoning you to this R rated film.”

Peter rolls his eyes. “Like I don’t have a fake ID.”

“Excuse me what?”

“I said good,” says Peter. “Because I don’t have a fake ID, so thank you.”

“Uh huh,” says Tony, just as the lights begin to dim and the previews start to plan, temporarily saving Peter from an interrogation Tony schedules for later.

Parenting is rough, and teenagers are like a different species of human altogether. He’s dreading Morgan’s teenage years, but at least he’s got Peter to prepare him for it, to give him a trial run.

The previews end, and something’s glitching out the kid.

He’s gripping the armrests tight. He’s grimacing, and for a few seconds, Tony’s convinced Peter is holding his breath. He’s just about to ask him if he’s alright when Peter stands, and bolts, fleeing the auditorium with that ugly purse strapped on his shoulder.

Tony pauses, waits a few seconds, before deciding he’d better follow him and make sure everything’s okay.

He finds Peter in the bathroom, with his knees on the floor and his head over the toilet, puking his guts out.

“Told you it was disgusting,” says Tony, as Peter pulls the metal bar and flushes the toilet.

“Shut up,” says Peter. His voice was so weak and miserable, Tony felt a stab of guilt.

“Feeling better?” he asks. He reaches out, and covers his forehead with his hand. “You feel a little warm.”

“I’m fine,” says Peter. “Let’s go back and watch the film.”

“Kid,” says Tony. “You’re clearly sick. We’ll go home, and you can rest, and we’ll come back when you’re better. It isn’t like we have to see this one tonight.”

“Maybe it is,” says Peter. He wobbles, and has to lean against the slimy, gross bathroom wall to steady himself. “This might be our last chance! There could be a pandemic that shuts down everything and threatens to topple the theater industry forever.”

“Pete that’s not going to happen, not even in our universe,” says Tony. “You watch too many science fiction films.” He pulls Peter away from the wall and leads him out of the bathroom. “Besides, we’ve got Bruce Banner. No pandemic would stand a chance, and it’s about time he start putting those seven PHDs to use.”

“Fine,” says Peter. “But we’re coming back to the theater as soon as I stop puking my guts out.”

“Deal.”

They spend the night in the bathroom.

Peter throws up so much Tony starts to worry, though there’s not much he can do except look on in pity and offer the occasional back rub of support.

After Peter finishes a brutal episode of puking, he flushes the toilet and wipes his face with a strip of toilet paper.

“I think I broke a rib that time,” he mutters.

“If you broke bones puking, that’d truly be a record, kid.”

“Might as well get something from this misery,” he tells him.

Peter looks at him with glossy eyes and a face pale with sickness and with sweat. He appears much younger right then, as if Tony’s peering into the past, and Peter’s pain hits him much harder in that moment.

Tony’s struck with this strange urge to make the whole world right just for him. He considers going backwards in time again, only this time just a few hours back, just to slap that damned cookie and cheese sauce from the kid’s hand.

“I’m sorry you got so sick, bud.”

“That’s okay,” says Peter. “I think I’m done puking… at least I hope. Just wanna lay down.”

“How about this,” says Tony. “We’ll get you in your bed, all nice and cozy, and I’ll bring you some Gatorade and some crackers, annnddd a trash can. Just in case.”

“Sounds good,” says Peter, and he tries to smile, but it gets twisted into a grimace.

Tony helps Peter to his bed, and tucks him in. He brings him the things he thinks will make him feel better, but somehow, it doesn’t seem like enough, and Tony’s still pondering a way to make things right for him, even after the boy’s eyes close and he drifts off to sleep.

Finally, he thinks of something that still isn’t enough, but will at least put a proper smile on the kid’s face.

Tony finishes setting up the screen along the wall opposite of the bed just as Peter nods awake. He sits up slowly, and rubs his eyes.

“Mr. Stark,” he says. “What’s that?”

“The theater,” says Tony. “I’ve brought it to your bedroom.”

Peter laughs. “You’re such a softie.”

“Shut your mouth or I won’t tell you the best part.”

It’s the first time in Peter’s life he manages to be quiet. Tony switches on the projector, and the opening credits play for the movie they had been trying to watch before the Cheese Cookie Illness had taken control of their evening.

“No way!!” says Peter.

“I know it isn’t the same -”

“-are you kidding?” asks Peter, his face lit with a grin. “This is so awesome!”

Tony’s chest flutters with something like pride. It’s a good, warming feeling, to see the strange gremlin Peter return, and maybe the best part, Tony doesn’t even need a time machine to achieve it.

#febuwhumpday16 #irondad #irondad fic #my fic #vomiting #sickfic #tw: indirect nod to covid19 pandemic #it's just one line #just trying to be safe tho

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xbreezymeadowsx · 4 years

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200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

#200 questions #jeez that took a long time #do it #i dare you

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majesticmarais · 6 years

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tag game woohoo

tagged by the lovely @treegelbman

Last…

drink: coke!

phone call: my friend Brianna last night

text message: i think it was my boyfriend?? or one of my friends

song you listened to: sweater weather by the neighbourhood (i know #basic)

time you cried: LAST NIGHT

Ever…

dated someone twice: no actually and very thankfully

kissed someone and regretted it: yes LOL, only once though

been cheated on: nope!

lost someone special: yeah, multiple

been depressed: yeah i would definitely say that i have

gotten drunk and thrown up: i’ve done it once but it wasn’t actually because of the alcohol, it was another reason but i was drunk and ended up throwing up so technically yes but they weren’t correlated

fav colour: i have lots! purple or red or royal blue i’d say

In The Last Year Have You…

made new friends: yes i have!! ones i am very grateful for

fallen out of love: no :)

laughed until you cried: this is me on a regular basis so most definitely yes

found out someone was talking about you: LOL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW, oh yeah

met someone who change you: i would say yes

found out who your friends are: i did indeed

kissed someone on your facebook friends list: LOL yes

General…

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: i think all of them except for like 2 internet friends from a few years ago and one family member who i’ve never actually met lol

do you have any pets: a doggie!!

do you want to change your name: no not really

what did you do for your last birthday: lol well considering it just passed, i spent the day with my boyfriend, brothers, and some friends and had some dinner and ice cream, and last night i had all my friends over for a party!!

what were you doing at midnight last night: partying with my friendos

what is something you cant wait for: uhhhmm for the semester to be over LOL

what are you listening to right now: Robbers by the 1975

have you ever talked to a person named tom: i don’t think so actually??

something that gets on your nerves: people who walk really slow, hypocrites, and people who are really self centered and dont care about anyone

most visited website: tumblr i think

hair colour: iss brown

long or short hair: pretty short it’s a bit above shoulder length

do you have a crush on someone: yeah ;))

what do i like about yourself: my big heart

want any piercings: a nose ring or a septum

blood type: i think i’m O neg?

nicknames: A, lil red, Auttie, Fall

relationship status: taken :)

zodiac: virgo!

pronouns: she/her

fave tv show: probably this is us, or the fosters or degrassi or gilmore girls or greys, i love lots of shows

tattoos: none:(

right or left handed: rightie!

ever had surgery: on my teeth, i guess that counts?

piercings: just my lobes

sport: dance!!

vacation: is this favorite vacation or somewhere i want to go?? my favorite vacation was to Costa Rica!

More general…

eating: sour patch kids

drinking: nothing although i want water

about to watch: nothing, maybe some youtube later

waiting for: idk?? nothing?

want: my boyfriend to get out of the shower and come cuddle

get married: yeah!

career: homicide detective hopefully

Which Is Better…

hugs or and kisses

lips or eyes

shorter or taller

older or younger

nice arms or stomach

hookup or relationship

troublemaker or hesitant

have you ever

kissed a stranger: ...yes

drunk hard liquor: yup

lost glasses: YES ACTUALLY A FEW WEEKS AGO

turned someone down: yeah multiple times

sex on first date: no ma’am

broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so?

had your heart broken: yeah

been arrested: no!

cried when someone died: obviously?

fallen for a friend: HAHAH this tag game is coming for me

Do You Believe In…

yourself: sometimes

miracles: i like to think so

love at first sight: yes and no, not purely from looking at them but i think you can fall for someone after meeting them once

santa Claus: ALWAYS AND FOREVER

kiss on a first date: yeah i don’t see why not, some people make a big deal out of it but i don’t really care

angels: yes!

Others

best friends name: Skye

eye color: brown!

fave movie:I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY, I HATE THIS QUESTION

I tag: @samithepixie @yagirlcammmm @lilah-or-lily @daddy-avery and literally anyone who wants to do it just say i tagged you

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shareyoursmile · 7 years

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True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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[Illustrations: Vivian Kong]

Serious Eats staffers work very closely together, if not always in the same room—but, as in all healthy long-term relationships, we somehow still manage to surprise each other, in good ways, bad ways, and purely head-scratching ways. A very long and aggrieved Slack thread unspooled once we discovered some potentially embarrassing gaps in each other’s eating histories: Until recently, Stella had never eaten a classic NYC bacon, egg, and cheese, and Niki was unclear on the proper use of a Panera-style bread bowl. The revelation that, despite repeated admonishments on this very site, only a few of us actually owned a mortar and pestle prompted similar outrage (from Kenji, at least).

One of the latest rabbit holes of confession and mock shaming we threw ourselves down revolved around our respective movie snacks of choice—not just the specific items we like to munch on in the theater, but where we get those snacks from, and whether we even snack at all. If that doesn’t sound like something to get all worked up about—well, it isn’t, but that’s never stopped us before. It turns out that we, and perhaps all moviegoers, divide pretty neatly into four distinct camps, with very little crossover: those who buy the typical popcorn, boxed candy, and big sodas at the theater’s concession stand; those who don’t eat at the movies, period (really!); those who sneak in their own modest, easily hidden snacks; and those who make a point of smuggling in the biggest or messiest or otherwise most outlandish spreads they can muster. (Of course, “outlandish” is a relative term—one of us seemed surprised to learn that a bottle of Champagne qualified.) Since it’s Oscar season, a time when lots of us try to cram in as many theater outings as possible, we figured we’d take the opportunity to share the shocking results of our internal survey.

The Sushi Smuggler

Growing up, I thought the phrase “dinner and a movie” was actually “dinner at the movies.” Sure, we’d occasionally sneak in traditional snacks, like cheesy popcorn and cans of soda, but if the movie happened to coincide with a mealtime, we packed accordingly. My family’s go-to movie theater dinner was sushi—something I didn’t contemplate much at the time, but I now see it as a stroke of unparalleled genius on my parents’ part. A prepackaged roll combo is, without doubt, the Platonic ideal of a stealthy movie theater meal.

Before you roll (no pun intended) your eyes, consider the following: It’s compact, and thus easy to hide at the bottom of a purse; it’s sufficiently odorless to avoid attracting attention or offending your neighbors’ sensibilities; it is, if properly selected, devoid of any crunch, making it a virtually silent, interruption-free dining experience; the pieces are bite-size and therefore can be eaten with your hands, minimizing the potential mess of eating, say, noodles, in the dark; and it’s a cinch to clean up and dispose of without attracting notice as you exit the theater. (I should add that I’ve also been known to bring along a cleverly concealed bottle of wine to wash things down.) My husband finds the whole sushi/sneaking-in-food thing gross and embarrassing, so these days we tend to go to theaters that actually serve all sorts of fancy food and alcoholic beverages above board. But, as the saying goes, when the cat’s away, the mouse goes to the movies and stuffs her face with sushi. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor

The Cherry Picker

The rest of the Serious Eats team judged me pretty harshly on my pick, but I stand by it: fresh sweet cherries. Sure, they’re messier than other snacks, you have to have somewhere (that isn’t the theater floor) to spit out the pits, and they’re not what one would consider an indulgent snack, but I’m hooked. A, they’re delicious. B, the act of eating them takes some time, so they last longer than the popcorn you mindlessly shovel into your mouth. C, they’re good for you! —Vicky Wasik, visual director

The Traditionalists

I’m not an avid movie theater–goer, but every so often, I will indulge in a little weekday-afternoon alone time in a near-empty, darkened room illuminated by brightly colored, flashing images, accompanied only by a bucket of ultra-fake-buttered and salted popcorn on one side and, on the other, a Coke in a giant plastic vessel that could fit a bathing infant. The expense I gladly eat, literally and financially, for the illicit thrill invoked by residual school-age guilt for “playing hooky” and doing something so luxurious and truant. Everyone’s gotta get their kicks somehow, right? —Marissa Chen, office manager

I have to start by saying that I’m a pretty fast movie-snack eater—so much so that when I was little, my dad would ration my popcorn by putting a handful in my lap at a time. Otherwise, it would be gone a few minutes after the previews. That said, as an adult, I am 100% dedicated to Milk Duds, and, while I hate paying for them, I do anyway. I know my colleagues may look upon my choices with disdain, but alas: I buy my Milk Duds at the concession stand, like a total sucker. Then I eat them all before the movie even starts. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director

I believe the majority of the fun of going to the movies is to hit up the concession stand. I’m that person who arrives 30 minutes early to stock up on overpriced cardboard boxes of Mike and Ike and Sour Patch Kids—because I’m convinced they taste better out of a box. I’ve broken up with boyfriends solely because they took the thrifty route and chose to buy snacks at the bodega across the street instead. However, I’m a strict non-eater once the movie actually starts—the snacks are all about the pregame, to nosh on while watching the previews and side eye–ing anyone who tries to snag the seats in front of me. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor

I love movies, but more than that, I love the experience of going to the theater. It’s not just that it offers me an excuse to opt out of social media and email for a few hours, nor is it really about the superior picture and sound (even a basic theater is better than my garage-turned-den). It’s not just the excitement of seeing a brand-new release, and it’s definitely not about sitting with fellow theater-goers (thanks, guy sitting next to me during Black Panther who felt compelled to read every single piece of on-screen text out loud). It’s about one thing, or rather, one greasy bag of many things: movie theater popcorn. I’m attracted to the smell of diacetyl and coconut fat—the secret combination of artificial flavorings that produces that distinct movie theater aroma—like my daughter, Alicia, is attracted to the dogs’ water bowl. I can make all the promises to myself I want about saving room for dinner, but those promises go out the window as soon as I step through those doors. My feet start heading for the concession stand, and the rest of my body has no choice but to follow.

This is not a secret. Movie theater popcorn is my go-to comfort food. That I get to watch a film every time I eat it is just the icing on the cake (or the diacetyl on the kernels, perhaps). —J. Kenji López-Alt, chief culinary consultant

The Cheapskates

Listen. Just last night, I didn’t prepare before going to the movies. I am now out $13.95 for a medium popcorn and a bottle of water. This is the polar opposite of my M.O., which is to shamelessly sneak my own bag of popcorn and seltzer into the theater. My usual strategy is to pick a theater near a Trader Joe’s, so I can stop in and get a bag of cheddar cheese popcorn, or their insanely delicious Cornbread Crisps, and a Cranberry Clementine seltzer. And those crisps make a bomb vehicle for transporting your homemade chili to your mouth. Trust me. No local TJ’s? A bag of Buncha Crunch and a Sprite from the drugstore will do. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor

Like all right-thinking Americans, I was raised to believe that sneaking food into the movies is as natural and healthy as a long walk in the sunshine, and that buying concessions at the theater is for chumps. It helps that I’m not wild about popcorn and instead gravitate toward Junior Mints, Combos, and Raisinets, all of which are conveniently available at the Dollar Tree that’s a stone’s throw from our default movie theater in Atlanta (and you know that location isn’t an accident). And, while I’ve never ventured to smuggle anything more elaborate than a deli sandwich into an indoor cinema, no rules of restraint apply when we visit the Starlight Six Drive-In, a blessed local relic from another time, where summertime patrons regularly tote in full coolers of beer and Weber grills for a tailgate/movie night hybrid. —Miranda Kaplan, editor

You will rarely find me in a concession line: I’m too cheap for those overpriced goods, and too paranoid about candy-induced sugar highs. Not the biggest fan of popcorn, either; my junk food needs an edge. My ideal movie date involves a quick bodega trip beforehand, where I procure seltzer and—wait for it—pretzel M&M’s. That is my junk-food staple. I tell myself they aren’t as bad as regular M&M’s, and they hit my requirement for a savory/sweet combo. The seltzer is key, too—like clockwork, a pending movie stirs a deep thirst in me for carbonated water. Sitting through a movie whilst thirsty and hungry is my personal version of a horror film. —Natalie Holt, video producer

I’ve discovered that using your kid as a candy mule is the white lie of retail economy. I wasn’t always like this. I used to be an honest, upstanding citizen, like you. For most of my adult life, I either purchased popcorn or, more often, didn’t eat at all. But, once we got married, my wife started sneaking candy into the theaters to quell her sweet tooth and—well, I’m not turning down Twizzlers. Who would?

When we first started bringing our daughter to the movies, we’d casually present the goods after the previews. Now that she’s older, she’s part of the scam/effort. We have a perfect record of sneaking in candy because, really, is the high school kid ripping stubs while he checks out Instagram going to stop a seven-year-old and poke her coat? I load up on a package of some chocolate-covered nut, my wife keeps it classic with M&M’s, and my daughter’s the wild card—sometimes it’s gummy bears, or it could be Reese’s Pieces. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor

If it were just me, I wouldn’t be eating anything. I’m too cheap to even glance at the outrageously priced concession stand items, and too lazy and bagless to smuggle snacks in. My significant other is often not bagless, however, so when we go together, we sneak all kinds of things in. My favorite is the massive, Costco-sized bag of M&M’s: easy, clean, delicious. The most memorable snack we’ve ever brought was a full bag of Hurricane popcorn, which technically we smuggled all the way from Hawaii. The Li Hing–flavored version is vibrantly red, and we did not bring napkins, which made for a messy-fingered second half of the movie. Totally worth it, but word of advice: No matter what you bring, prep for the mess. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer

The Takeout Taker-Inner

When we were—well, I won’t say kids, since I was old enough to drive, but…younger than we are today, my brother and I were notorious for sneaking Chinese takeout into the movie theater. I’m talking pot stickers, egg rolls, spicy noodles, kung pao tofu, scallion pancakes, the works. We’d just stuff all the containers inside this gargantuan yellow puffer coat he had (ah, the ’90s), using it like an insulated pizza-delivery bag. As it turns out, those iconic Chinese takeout containers are just the right size to nestle down into a movie theater cup holder, so we’d set up a little buffet using four consecutive arm rests. Chopsticks made it easy to eat in the dark, and we’d pass the containers between us during brightly lit scenes.

In warmer weather, lacking the proper outerwear for smuggling, we’d stick to popcorn (extra “butter,” please) and Milk Duds. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

The Killjoys

If I could ban all eating in movie theaters, I would. I don’t want to hear some sloppy-ass mofo smacking on popcorn in my ear when I’m trying to watch a movie. I’d give up all snacks for silence. All you movie-theater eaters can BURN IN HELL. (I have issues.) —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director

I’m cheap. I also don’t like candy. I’m not a big fan of popcorn, either. I smuggle in a water bottle, but then I drink from it only if I’m terribly, terribly parched, because the one thing I hate more than watching a movie in a packed theater is having to get up to go to the bathroom in a packed movie theater. Sometimes I’ll bring with me a small, smooth stone, which I will suck on from time to time, and sometimes swallow, if the movie is going long and I’m really bored. I’ve had that stone for 10 years now. —Sho Spaeth, features editor

I’m almost always on the do-not-eat team—I’d rather spend my $20 on better food before or after the movie (I see you, Battery Park Shake Shack!). But occasionally, I succumb and buy popcorn and a Coca-Cola Classic. Ideally, this happens at a theater with self-service “butter,” and, even more ideally, I’ll get a cardboard tray to help me shift the popcorn around, so I can properly spread said butter to the deepest reaches of the bag. —Paul Cline, developer

I only snack on chips and anything crunchy, but the sound of me munching distracts me from the movie. So, no snacks. —Vivian Kong, product designer

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cucinacarmela-blog · 7 years

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True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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[Illustrations: Vivian Kong]

The Sushi Smuggler

The Cherry Picker

The Traditionalists

The Cheapskates

The Takeout Taker-Inner

In warmer weather, lacking the proper outerwear for smuggling, we’d stick to popcorn (extra “butter,” please) and Milk Duds. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

The Killjoys

I only snack on chips and anything crunchy, but the sound of me munching distracts me from the movie. So, no snacks. —Vivian Kong, product designer

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jmuo-blog · 7 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://jmuo.com/true-concessions-our-movie-snacking-behaviors-ex/

True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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[Illustrations: Vivian Kong]

The Sushi Smuggler

The Cherry Picker

The Traditionalists

The Cheapskates

The Takeout Taker-Inner

In warmer weather, lacking the proper outerwear for smuggling, we’d stick to popcorn (extra “butter,” please) and Milk Duds. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

The Killjoys

I only snack on chips and anything crunchy, but the sound of me munching distracts me from the movie. So, no snacks. —Vivian Kong, product designer

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m0rgansux · 7 years

Text

200: My crush’s name is: I guess I have a crush on Justin

199: I was born in: North Carolina

198: I am really: Sad

197: My cellphone company is: AT&T

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: 7 ish

194: My ring size is: I have no idea something between 6 and 8 maybe

193: My height is: 5′ 9 1/2′’

192: I am allergic to: Ants I think and maybe the sun

191: My 1st car was: A 2007 Kia Rondo

190: My 1st job was: Selling Avon

189: Last book you read: Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

188: My bed is: COMFY

187: My pet: s are cool I have a lot

186: My best friend: K8 bc no one else likes me

185: My favorite shampoo is: Organix

184: Xbox or ps3: I haven’t played either

183: Piggy banks are: CUTE

182: In my pockets: Nothing

181: On my calendar: Birthdays, cat rabies dates, appointments, work schedule

180: Marriage is: NEAT

179: Spongebob can: Eat my ass

178: My mom: is a cool lady

177: The last three songs I bought were: I use apple music so I don’t buy songs but the last 3 I downloaded were We Don’t Talk Anymore (feat. Selena Gomez) - Charlie Puth Just a Dream - Nelly Airplanes Pt 2. (Feat. Eminem and Hayley Williams) - BoB ....don’t judge me ok I was havin a time last night

176: Last YouTube video watched: An analysis of an episode of Black Mirror

175: How many cousins do you have? 0

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother and sister

173: Are your parents divorced? No

172: Are you taller than your mom? Like 4 or 5 inches

171: Do you play an instrument? I played the violin up until a couple years ago

170: What did you do yesterday? Cleaned out cages at petsmart

[I BELIEVE IN….]

169: Love at first sight: Idk fam

168: Luck: I don’t think so

167: Fate: No

166: Yourself: No

165: Aliens: Yes

164: Heaven: I don’t know

163: Hell: No

162: God: I don’t know

161: Horoscopes: Maybe

160: Soul mates: No

159: Ghosts: Maybe

158: Gay Marriage: Yes???

157: War: No

156: Orbs: I don’t think so

155: Magic: No

[THIS OR THAT]

154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153: Drunk or High: High

152: Phone or Online: Phone

151: Red heads or Black haired: Both

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Do u mean like ugly personality bc obviously I’m going to go for sweet and poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: I......don’t know

134: Singing or Dancing: Singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I don’t care

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Oh my GOD Chris Daughtry

131: Small town or Big city: Big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: It depends on the movie

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Pedicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: Both??

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I don’t care at all

[HERE’S WHAT I THINK ABOUT]

122: War: UH WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN

121: George Bush: He’s a fucking monkey

120: Gay Marriage: I support it

119: The presidential election: Sad and disappointing

118: Abortion: Pro-choice

117: MySpace: It died like 500 years ago

116: Reality TV: I don’t like it except for The Voice sometimes

115: Parents: They neat

114: Back stabbers: ....they suck???

113: Ebay: It’s kinda dead tbh

112: Facebook: Moms use it too much

111: Work: Cute dogs and a cute boy

110: My Neighbors: I don’t know them but they’ve waved at us before

109: Gas Prices: I wish they were lower

108: Designer Clothes: I shop at H&M and Target

107: College: Waste of my time and money

106: Sports: I don’t care about sports

105: My family: They’re nice but I need a break from them sometimes

104: The future: How dare u ask me about that

[LAST TIME I….]

103: Hugged someone: It’s been like 50 million years

102: Last time you ate: A few minutes ago

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A couple days ago

100: Cried in front of someone: DUDE LIKE NEVER

99: Went to a movie theater: A couple months ago

98: Took a vacation: It’s been like 3 years

97: Swam in a pool: It’s been like 5 years

96: Changed a diaper: It’s been like 7 years omg

95: Got my nails done: About a month ago

94: Went to a wedding: 2011

93: Broke a bone: Never

92: Got a piercing: Last March

91: Broke the law: Probably within the last week

90: Texted: A few minutes ago

89: Who makes you laugh the most: K8

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My cats bc I can’t take them all

87: The last movie I saw: I don’t remember

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Nothing

85: The thing I’m not looking forward to: MY LIFE

84: People call me: Morgan :\\\

83: The most difficult thing to do is: A lot of things

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Once

81: My zodiac sign is: Leo

80: The first person i talked to today was: Probably my dad

79: First time you had a crush: Kindergarten

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: No one :)

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Probably today??

76: Right now I am talking to: No one

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Lol who knows

74: I have/will get a job: I’m a cashier

73: Tomorrow: I’m going to breakfast with Angelica, then the dentist

72: Today: I did nothing

71: Next Summer: I don’t even know

70: Next Weekend: Working or doing nothing

69: I have these pets: 15 cats and a turtle

68: The worst sound in the world: I hate Styrofoam squeaking sounds

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: MEEEE

66: People that make you happy: NO ONE

65: Last time I cried: Today

64: My friends are: NEAT

63: My computer is: FINE BUT I DON’T USE IT

62: My School: I graduated

61: My Car: A 2007 Kia Rio

60: I lose all respect for people who: Yell at cashiers

59: The last movie I cried at was: Who knows

58: Your hair color is: Red

57: TV shows you watch: Criminal Minds, New Girl, Family Guy, Parks and Rec

56: Favorite web site: Tumblr or Youtube

55: Your dream vacation: A vacation in general

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: BRUH I DON’T KNOW

53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t know honestly

52: My room is: A cross between a young adult hipster’s room and an emo teenager’s room

51: My favorite celebrity is: Matthew Gray Gubler sure

50: Where would you like to be: In my bed

49: Do you want children: No

48: Ever been in love: No

47: Who’s your best friend: k8

46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have 2 friends and they’re both girls

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Attention

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: NONE OF UR BUSINESS

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I don’t even have a 5 month plan

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Yeah but who knows where it went

41: Have you pre-named your children: NO EW

40: Last person I got mad at: Dominique

39: I would like to move to: Anywhere else

38: I wish I was a professional: Cat petter

[MY FAVORITES….]

37: Candy: Sour patch kids

36: Vehicle: I don’t have one

35: President: I am not educated enough to answer this

34: State visited: New York

33: Cellphone provider: Not AT&T

32: Athlete: None

31: Actor: My mind is blanking

30: Actress: ^^^

29: Singer: Brendon Urie maybe

28: Band: Fall Out Boy

27: Clothing store: H&M

26: Grocery store: Whole Foods

25: TV show: Criminal Minds

24: Movie: Scream, 13 Going on 30

23: Website: U have def asked this already

22: Animal: Cats

21: Theme park: I have only been to Carrowinds and Busch Gardens

20: Holiday: Christmas

19: Sport to watch: None

18: Sport to play: NONE

17: Magazine: I haven’t read a magazine in 45 years

16: Book: I literally just forgot every book I’ve ever read

15: Day of the week: I don’t have one

14: Beach: I don’t like the beach

13: Concert attended: PATD or Monumentour

12: Thing to cook: Desserts

11: Food: Sushi

10: Restaurant: Blue Asia

9: Radio station: Modern rock 98.7

8: Yankee candle scent: Idk fam I like incense-y kinda smells

7: Perfume: I just got a trio of Nest perfumes and I really like those right now

6: Flower: Roses???

5: Color: Black

4: Talk show host: None of them

3: Comedian: Bo Burnham

2: Dog breed: Pittbull

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Who knows there were so many questions I don’t even remember,

#random #survey #random survey

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