#literally NOBODY likes her. everybody carefully says neutral things about her and then changes the subject

[fingertipsmp3]

Getting notifications from the work group chat and it’s that one person you hate

[morcinder]

Ash’s Birth

Erico and Vera were so excited for their baby. Children were so rare in such a bleak and literally dark world. They were so excited and happy. A baby of their own.

Dale and Warren took their family and moved to a bigger house, with room for Erico and Vera and their new baby. (Possibly two, twins did run in the family after all). Dale did his best and read a lot of scrounged prenatal care books so he could take care of Vera, she was healthy, Dale tended to her carefully and regulated her diet, Joni who lived not too far away in her own little farm made from scrounged tech brought them food on a regular basis. Even Liz managed to make a couple of appearances during the pregnancy though he was fundamentally repulsed by the whole idea of birth as a general rule.

Roxanne was delighted, Rosanne was sewing a brand new hoard of little baby clothes in ascending size to clothe the tiny little life for at least a couple of months. Probably too many baby clothes, but they were all excited. Erico and Vera had a long and extended argument on whether they were naming the baby the gender neutral Ashton or Mikel/Nahia, and Erico lost the final coin toss. Things were good.

The problems started a little less than a month before Vera was actually expected to give birth. Without warning, while Erico wasn’t home, her labor started. They had a plan, very carefully organized with all sorts of ‘what ifs’ and ‘here’s what we’ll dos’ and suddenly none of them mattered because Vera was giving birth early without warning. It was panic, but a controlled panic at least.

Vera was healthy, her pregnancy had been normal, but the birth was miles away from that. The labor lasted for sixteen hours and she was in agonized tears no matter how Dale tried to soothe her pain, even while Roxanne and Rosanna tried to hold her hands and support her. Warren was almost as agitated, pacing and snapping his fangs in worry as the family’s emotions buffeted him. He retreated into the garage to modify the incubator he had made, meant to keep the baby warm, but now possibly just to keep the baby alive and breathing.

Baby Ashton was born with a few scraggles of red hair that Vera was proud of, but she was born so thin and small, smaller than Halley and Levy had been when they were born. She didn’t cry, just made a sort of weak little whine through her shallow uneven breaths. Vera wanted to hold her, but Dale gently talked her down as they quickly moved Ash to the incubator as fast and as gently as they could. Ash didn’t open her eyes very soon either. It was hours before she squinted them open. Her eyes were a beautiful, but average green, the green her mothers might have been before Vera’s powers came to her.  

Vera cried and held the incubator close to her. Dread settled over them all. Dale had no explanation for it, the fetus had seemed healthy up until now. He couldn’t detect any injury or obvious problem but Ash was just...weak. Erico was terrified. If Neph were there she would have known what to do with confidence, but Nephrita had been transferred inside World Systems and she had dropped off the radar and no one knew where she was now.

All of their plans, the first month, second month learning, the baby duty rotations so that everybody got to take responsibility for her and get to play with the baby were thrown out. Vera was upset anew when Dale told her that she couldn’t breastfeed or hold Ash very much because she was so small and didn’t have the normal fat necessary for most babies, but Vera cooperated. Ash was fed very slowly and gently through a tube and Vera continued to cry a lot. The tube seemed sufficient though and Dale ripped frantically through medical textbooks and reported he didn’t see a necessity for an IV for Ash- yet. She was still growing and after a week or two her skin finally took on a healthy pallor.

They kept the incubator near Vera at all times, and the other adults took turns watching and taking care of Ash, and gave Vera time to sleep, or walk around and do normal human things to recover. Erico couldn’t be pried away from his daughter though, except by force by Warren a couple of times who kept forcing him to keep functioning against his own wishes.

Ash eventually started to cry in earnest, and kick her incubator. They took the tube away from her and they were delighted to find that Ash latched onto Vera’s breast and fed with no problems at all. Erico and Vera cried together that time. Things were getting better. They were finally even able to let Halley and Levy hold Ash, and they puzzled over her like she was some sort of rare and fascinating animal. But they smiled at her and it looked sweet to the adults eyes.

And then Ash stopped breathing.

One night Erico, without knowing why, sat up bolt upright in bed next to Vera. Their snatches of sleep were rare now that Ash was crying healthily every four hours or so for food. But he could feel something was wrong. He scrabbled out of bed, nearly kicking his sleeping wife, and was at Ash’s side where she was tucked into the mechanically warmed crib. He realized instantly what had woken him up. Her raspy sleeping breaths weren’t there anymore and she was rapidly turning blue.

“Vera!” He cried in horror and alarm, sweeping his baby up and out the door before Vera could even open her eyes. Erico barreled in to Dale and Rosanna’s room jolting them awake, and Dale, thank god, acted quickly. He took Ash from him and started performing the baby CPR he had aggressively studied.

Warren and Vera were in the doorway by then, and Erico gathered Vera into his arms and held her tight while they watched his brother try to save her. He breathed gently into her nose and mouth and compressed her chest with two fingers. And again, and again, and again. Sweat started to build up on Dale’s forehead, and tears in the mans eyes. God why wouldn’t she breathe? He looked up into Erico’s eyes, and he saw the resigned grief in Dale’s face. Her heart was still barely beating but god, she just wouldn’t breathe.

No.

Erico let go of Vera and snatched his daughter back from Dale, and though there were several startled shouts as a sky blue flashed from his eyes, no one tried to stop Erico from what he was doing.

Transferring a little bit of life to a plant, or a small animal, or bringing a dead seed into a sprout was no big deal, but transferring his energy to Ash hurt and took more than he ever had before. He tore his own life away and fed it in to his child. A blue glow washed over them both and sank into Ash’s skin. A horrible, horrible weakness tore through Erico and he would have dropped Ash if Warren wasn’t there to snatch her up as Vera stopped him from collapsing to the floor entirely.

She started to wail and they were all extremely relieved, but Erico wiped blood from his eyes.

Erico was sick as a dog for two solid weeks. He had never been more ill in his life, he could barely get up by himself to go to the bathroom and he felt his legs start to atrophy. His muscles ached and stretched just walking around. He, like his half brothers, had been a tall, strong man, and suddenly he wasn’t anymore.

Then Vera put baby Ash next to him to put her down for a nap, and she giggled, and it was worth it.

But it just didn’t stop. For the first year of Ash’s life Erico would feed her some of his own energy, and she would get better. She looked maybe a little underweight, but a healthy and happy baby. Her eyes were bright and curious and she was intelligent and alert. She babbled to mimic language when Vera would spend hours talking to her like she was a miniature adult. She showed pattern recognition at a startling early age and was an expert at manipulating people in to picking her up. But it wouldn’t last, and she would start weakening again, and then she would become ill, and Erico would rip another little piece off himself for her.

Vera wept and screamed every time it seemed like it was the end for one or both of them, but she never said no or tried to stop him. The change in his wife made him a little sick– Vera had been as fierce as the fire she wielded and full of piss and vinegar and he loved her for it, but the scary birth had changed her. Dale made a weak pass at stopping Erico exactly once and never brought it back up again in the face of the man’s fury.

But eventually it seemed to actually stick. Weeks, months, went by where Ash was just fine. She still got sick easily but it didn’t seem life threatening anymore. She got fat and she grew and babbled and threw her toys onto the floor. When it was Warren’s turn to baby her he didn’t even say anything and just carried her around in silence while she giggled like she did with nobody else. When Erico asked Warren just told him that they were playing a game- telepathically. That worried the man but Ash didn’t seem any worse for wear for it.

Erico though, got just as sick as Ash did. Even more sick, and soon more frequently. A small infection from a cut would put him in bed for a days with a fever. He lost weight and he went pale but when Erico picked up his baby girl, his little fighter, and she smiled, he didn’t even care. It was worth it.

Her eyes changed alarmingly fast though, almost as fast as Levy and Halley’s eyes had changed. On her third birthday while she trotted around the room bumping into literally everything and giggling about it, Erico picked her up and looked into her eyes and saw they were a bright, burning red. Not a trace of soft green to be seen anywhere. They were worried she had inherited Vera’s fire, a three year old that could burn things at will was not safe for anybody in the house. But she just...didn’t. Nothing happened. No spontaneous flames or smoke, No objects lifting around, no projected baby thoughts like Halley used to do, not particular extra sensitivity to the emotions of adults- not any more than any observant child. They experimentally gave her dead branches and leaves but she just tried to put them in her mouth. There was just...nothing. For the life of them they could not figure out what her power might be. Eventually they gave up and decided it would reveal itself in time. It didn’t appear when she was three, or even when she was four. Her eyes showed that there was something there, but no one knew what it might be.

Her fourth year though was the year that Vera and Erico both started developing the worst migraines of their lives. When Ash was crying her voice was like a needle in his brain digging around for the softest places to bury itself and hurt the most. With his constant illness, his weakness, and the migraines, it was a battle to keep his patience with his rambunctious screaming daughter and more often than not one of the other adults would have to take her away from him so he could lay down in the quiet and dark. Warren was her favorite, besides her mother, for reasons none of them were really sure about.

It was miserable. He was miserable. He was a miserable father because even chasing his daughter around the room wore him out so easily. How was he supposed to raise her like this? Sometimes he was even jealous of Warren for getting along with Ash so well even though Erico knew that was completely irrational and uncalled for. Erico had to keep reminding himself why he was so weak, and what this sacrifice was for. Even if he could only sit at the window and watch Vera and Ash play in the snow. It was worth it- she was worth it.

Then Halley and Levy were almost ripped away from the family, and Roxanne and Rosanna died trying to protect them. They had been friends, comrades, Roxanne had been Warren’s wife, and now they were both gone. The house grew darker, Levy and Halley...changed, in ways that were hard to put one's finger on. Beyond the grief of children that lost their mother and aunt something darker had taken root but god Erico just couldn’t see what it was. Dale might have if he hadn’t been so preoccupied with trying to raise the boys and care for Erico after Warren disappeared to be alone with his grief. Joni was invaluable help during that time and helped teach Ash to read. Warren didn’t come back until another year later, and then it was too late.

Representatives from World Systems came to their door. Warren and Dale had ‘graduated’ from their Facilities years ago, and managed to work out a ‘retirement’ from their military program thanks to Nephrita’s help, but World Systems never really went away. They wanted to buy Ash from them. Vera almost burned down the house with her fury and they fled white hot flames licking at their coats.

They considered running, but decided that it was better to have Dale with them, Erico was too weak to protect anyone no matter how catastrophic his power was. It didn’t do a damn however. One day when it seemed like World Systems had backed off for now, Dale took his boys out to the nearest settlement to trade and gather supplies, and World Systems came back. They came back in force with a blue haired Meta woman. Erico got hold of her throat and in one quick flash the woman went from living and healthy to a corpse; he felt better than he had in years. It didn’t make a damn bit of difference though because he heard a squeal from behind him, and a person in a Rho dog mask was holding his daughter. Vera leapt at the Rho with flames in her hands and rage in her eyes. Turning his back was a mistake however because the instant he did a bullet tore its way through Erico’s back and he hit the floor. Worse than the agony and blood spilling through him, they shot Vera. The two of them lay bleeding on the floor and their daughter was carried off screaming for her mother. It was the last time Erico saw his daughter as he blacked out.

When he woke up it was almost with a fury that he wasn’t dead. He should be dead for failing to protect his own daughter, but Dale wasn’t having that. Warren took his brother's hand and Erico shook it off in favor of grabbing Warren’s collar in a surprisingly strong grip that threatened to strangle him. “Find my daughter.” He hissed between his teeth. For an instant he irrationally hated Warren with a white hot fury for not being there when it happened. Vera had taken off in the middle of the night while Erico was still in a coma, and no one knew where she was. His daughter was gone, his damn wife was gone. He had lost...everything. All he could think about was getting Ash back but his damn weak body wouldn’t even let him leave the house anymore. He tried once and immediately collapsed in the snow and had to be carried back by his brothers.

Dale and Warren searched- they did, but they had a responsibility to Warren’s sons too. They would search in turns, and soon Erico and Warren started working on a new project, made with some of Nephrita’s research notes, and some scavenged World Systems and old world technology. But it wasn’t enough, and it would never be enough. As Erico’s organs finally started to give out and Warren made a last ditch effort to scan and save Erico’s neural patterns, his only thoughts were for his daughter, and one, last, surge of furious jealousy of his brother. 

Why does he get to live? 

[bluedino15]

Last , Last Thoughts on That Issue/ Why I'm just Disappointed in Both Sides

Disclaimer before I get stared: yup, I’m going back to THAT again. If you just want to see art on the Glitchtale tag and are sick and tired of this issue like I am, sorry for making you scroll a bit more so you don’t have to see this. I probably should just let this die because we’re pretty much off this, but I still see the occasional comment on twitch or on here, so I need to get this off of my chest. I’m going to try to not take a side, but if you’ve seen my other posts, you know I do believe that word could be seen as offensive, though not in context, but that it should be treated more carefully, and that I also do not hold much Ill will towards Cami (still slightly peeved) I will also have a section of this where I talk about not liking the use of SJW or triggered. But again, I’ll try being non-partisan here besides that.

I’m disappointed in both sides here. For people who found the use of the r-word offensive or troublesome, I’m disappointed in the lack of trying to peacefully reach out to Cami. It was clear she meant not to insult anyone mentally disabled and that she had no idea the word had a negative connotation in some parts of the world. Now, that wasn’t entirely clear when she first said the word and people might not know the word had no offensive connotation in Chile, but still, anyone who knows it as a slur should also know that some people use it like a standard Insult to mean idiot (such as younger kids do in America) because they are not aware of what it’s been turned to, and that the user is not trying to insinuate someone is a lesser being because they were born with a mental disability. So it was not right to say things like Cami was ableist (someone who hates the disabled) or that she was trying to be rude to anyone other than that kid. It also doesn’t help to get super angry and toss out other swear words like “fuck” or “bitch” left and right because it makes you harder to take seriously when you swear like a sailor while arguing with someone, and they are less likely to understand or want to compromise with you when you insult them. And finally, it doesn’t help to either a) try to act surperior or Talk down someone who you think is being a jerk because it makes you look egotistical, and b) don’t specifically insult Cami’s friends (however, overall being annoyed with people supporting Cami is understandable, which is what my next thing is about). Overall, if you act to rudely or intensely in trying to make your point or change someone’s mind, you only guarantee that people are less likely to agree with you, which means you are shorting your argument in the foot. And as someone who was making that argument, I’m really freaking angry at the people who made it impossible for the argument to go anywhere pleasant, and I feel sorry for anyone else who wanted to be civil while still disagreeing. While civility may not have changed anyone’s mind, it would have been better than what did happen, because now Cami’s probably never going to understand or empathize with people who don’t like the word.

Now, here’s my other point. I feel like Cami and some of her supporters got kind of–and yes, I will use this word despite the fact that it seems to piss off people on here–rude. Rude for understandable reasons, but still rude. It feels like, because There were people who were being equally rude at a stressful time in Cami’s life, she was too angry to be willing to compromise or be understanding. I just am bothered by the fact that everyone seemed to say stuff along the lines of “the word isn’t offensive at all to me/ check the context/ check the definition” and write it off there. And that’s what bothers me. People didn’t seem willing to understand that word really was seen as offensive to a decent amount of people. It seemed like Cami and a lot of her supporters felt that, if they couldn’t see offense in it, no one had a reason to get offended. And it’s fine that they Don’t get offended or see any problem with the word. But it would have been nice to see something like “okay, I still don’t think the word is offensive, but I understand why people are bothered by seeing it.” Instead, it felt like anyone bothered by that word was being treated like a baby who was calling Cami Hitler and saying the kid was better than her. So that led to some people immaturely using the word when being asked to stop, which feels like the verbal equivalent of a baby tossing their peas in their parent’s face when asked to eat them in terms of behavior. (I am not referring to Cami herself using it more because I get she only used it once, I’m referring to the fact that I saw other people saying that as if it made them comedic geniuses) there was also a few people saying stuff like “stupid Americans trying to make the world about them.” Forcing you to adopt the death penalty, use English, eat my food, or use the imperial system of measurement would be arrogantly forcing my culture on yours. Getting offended by something seen as an offensive word in my country which I have been taught not to use is the result of naturally carrying my national baggage onto an international stage. I’m not saying that means the American view that r-word is offensive is right, but if Cami makes the honest mistake of assuming the rest of the world doesn’t find it offensive, why can’t we make the honest mistake of assuming the rest of the world does find it offensive? Heck, asking “why is it like that in this country” instead of saying “this country is stupid then, because I know the way I grew up with is right” would allow for some discussion that lets us open to each other and increase our worldview. It would help you understand we don't just choose to get offended because we want to. Heck, maybe you have actually read about how the word became a slur and still think we're stupid. Fine. But at least don't write it off as us having no reason .

And here’s where I get to the part that I do become partisan. Why the hell is anyone who gets offended even when they aren’t personally insulted deemed an SJW these days? What the hell is wrong with worrying about someone else? I guess people would say “if they aren’t part of that group, they are misrepresenting it by trying to talk for them. Heck, I am a part of this group and I’m not insulted.” Five things: 1) what about people who actually, legitimately, understand the issue and want to defend that group. 2) how does not being part of that group stop me from having an opinion? 3) is it wrong of me to defend other people (and before you say “I could defend wrong” reread 1) 4) great if you aren’t insulted, but there are others who will be insulted. 5) defending a group does not mean you want attention, you can legitimately have feelings on an issue. This isn’t just applying to what happened with Cami. This is almost any freaking time I see someone use SJW, and I just happen to be here while I’m venting. SJW should be used for someone who is taking an issue where nobody has complained ever anywhere, making it an issue, and bringing nothing to back up their argument. That’s someone who you can be legitimately pissed off at because they want to make themselves a hero out of something truly meaningless to anyone.

Oh, also, for People who make the “Triggered” jokes. You know, that word refers to people who would actually have PTSD if they saw something that reminded them of an uncomfortable experience, like a soldier with PTSD hearing a gun or bomb. I get that a small number of people might appear to act that extremely. But getting offended by a word is not the same as that 99% of the time. And generally those people who get offended actually have a reason that it might help you listen to, instead of saying “lol, that person is upset, so I’ll make fun of them by doing something I know bothers them.”

Still I understand that she was angry, and already at a stressful time, and that there were people who were being too rude in their responses to her that word. They did not have the right to insult her like they did or act like surperior dickheads. And I understand why, emotionally, she would be unwilling to be less angry in her responses if a decent amount of the opposition wasn’t civil to begin with. And I get that I’m probably generalizing her reaction and I’m mistakenly assuming she didn’t literally mean people were calling her hitler. I was just bothered that some of her and her defenders counter responses seemed pretty rude and Inconsiderate. And that people who got angry at her were also inconsiderate by insulting her so rudely or acting like their position made them morally superior. It was stupid off them, and what lead to Cami insulting them in the first place.

And I don’t mean to imply Cami was weak for having an emotional response. Emotions are part of who we are. Obviously not everyone will be able to stay calm and fine at all times. Heck, I have one of the shortest fuses on the planet. I brought up emotions because I think people who chose to insult Cami were at fault for why she would be somewhat hostile.

TL;DR I feel like both sides here were not professional in how the r-word issue went down. I am Not expecting pure civility or happiness on the internet, and I understand not all arguments can be handled calmly and orderly, or that polite argument leaves everybody satisfied. I’m just disappointed because we could have still had that debate without drama or angriness, Even if we ended upcoming to the same conclusion as we did a few days ago. And sorry for anybody I might have thrown under the bus with a generalization, or if I assumed to much of the meaning behind what someone said. Also sorry if I ended up using loaded language in my argument or subconsciously made it anti-r-word usage despite trying to remain neutral.

Finally sorry for bringing this up if it starts the whole mess over again. If it happens, put the blame on me and my inability to not let shit die.